- Published on
"I have a sneaking suspicion that this bottle labelled caution dangerous might be a bad thing for you to be giving Blake."
Original airdate: 1/8/1986
Episode summary: Blake visibly weakens as Rita/Krystle continues to slow poison him. Steven has a sexy wrestle-romp with Bart Fallmont. Krystle's lame escape attempt is foiled by George Hamilton.
Outside the courthouse, Adam rails at Steven after the judge rules against them in lifting the pipeline injunction - but Steven points out that the ruling wasn't altogether unexpected. When Adam snarls that he wanted to do things his way, Steven snaps back that he doesn't trust him - just as Bart Fallmont wanders over with his lawyer (Jonathan Lake) to gloat about how the hearing went their way. Steven tells Bart he has no reason to oppose the pipeline 'cause it'll be a model for future oil delivery, and Bart responds by laughing. The dismissive reaction incenses Steven, who demands an apology - but when Bart just ignores him and walks off, Steven lunges at him...which not only seems wholly out of character for him, but is also a crazily disproportionate level of anger considering that this is about a pretty run-of-the-mill sounding injunction. Adam holds him back and is all, "Whoa, bro!" and promises that they'll be victorious in court.
Blake arrives home looking tired and unwell. He tells Rita/Krystle he's going to take a nap before dinner, then gets so dizzy that he nearly falls over. Rita/Krystle summons Gerard over and the two help Blake up the stairs.
Rita heads over to Delta Rho to tell George Hamilton that she no longer likes the idea of slow poisoning Blake to death. George Hamilton points out that it's "the cleanest way" to get rid of the old goat, then implores her to not get cold feet at this point 'cause they can't risk Blake divorcing her. He explains that the poison gradually slows down the heart until he eventually keels over...and once that happens, he'll flee to South America. When Rita's all, "Wuh?"and asks him if she's included in these South America plans, he tells her she needs to stay behind for awhile and put in the "performance of a lifetime" as Blake's grief-stricken widow. Rita asks what he plans on doing with the real Krystle, and he gets a faraway look in his eyes and mumbles, "She'll just disappear", then tells her she needn't worry her pretty little head about it.
"When I say we are going to flee to South America, I really mean me...along with my new girlfriend Krystle."
"By Krystle, do you by chance mean her doppelgänger?"
George Hamilton shows Krystle various travel catalogues of South America and asks her if she'd like to come with him, then cackles about how he expects to come into a lot of money very soon. Krystle perks up at the potential escape opportunity and asks him if he'd really truly let her out of the attic, and he's like, "Sure! We'll go together." When she mumbles something incoherent, he barks, "I can't hear you!!", so she tells him her answer is yes, and assures him that he's not completely repulsive to her. He glares at her suspiciously and asks her how he can possibly believe that - right?? - so she pretends to be resigned to her fate of never seeing Blake again, and fake recalls how totes turned on she was when they were slow dancing during The Roadhouse episode. George Hamilton gets all grab-handsy and promises to make up for holding her captive in an attic once they start over together in South America, then leans in to kiss her. When she's all ew, he commands her to put her heart into it, then kisses her again. He seems satisfied enough with kiss #2 and heads for the door, leaving a thoroughly icked out Krystle staring despondently into space.
Adam assures Blake he'll take care of the injunction so they can start construction of the pipeline soon, then says he really really wants Steven off of his back 'cause of all the interference he's been causing. Blake argues that since [he's under the impression that] Steven has good instincts, he wants both of them working on this project, then suffers another sudden dizzy spell. When Adam asks if he's OK, he says he should prolly go see his doctor asap.
Amanda drops by Prince Michael's office at the La Mirage and plops herself atop his lap while he's on the phone. After he finishes his call, the two kiss and canoodle until Prince Michael is momentarily called away...and by scripted coincidence, Duchess Elena rushes in to tell the prince she has the list of New York names he wanted. She stops short when she sees Amanda, who demands to know what in blazes she's doing here...so Elena explains that she and Prince Michael are working together to free their homeland and that she isn't looking to get in the middle of a marital quarrel. When Prince Michael returns to the office, Amanda poutishly asks, "How could you?" and storms out of the room...and Prince Michael chases after her out of the hotel, behind her car all the way to Carrington manor, then up the staircase and down the hall that leads to their bedroom. LOL. Amanda tells her husband she's angry that he neglected to tell her he's been working with Elena, so he points out that it's not safe for her to know all of the details and insists that he has no choice but to work with Elena 'cause she's the leader of the underground and has all of the necessary contacts. Amanda argues that Elena is mostly interested in keeping them apart, then orders him to sever all contact with her...and when Prince Michael refuses, she mutters that one day soon he's going to sorely regret that decision.
"I demand that you stop seeing Elena, pay attention only to me, and stop trying to re-conquer your shitty homeland."
"No, no, and no."
Dex rails at Blake for not accepting his company's bid to build the pipeline, so Blake once again explains to the dimwit that he can't commence construction on the pipeline until the injunction mess has been sorted out. Plus, he got a bunch of bids and hasn't studied any of them yet. Dex barks back that he's using the injunction to keep him off the project, then accuses him of harboring resentment against him ever since he inherited his father's seat on the Denver Carrington board and made it clear that he couldn't be bought. Blake suffers another dizzy spell, stares blankly into space for several long seconds, then quietly tells Dex he'll accept his bid - as long as he has no issue working closely with Adam and Steven and can guarantee that his company will be ready to dive in once the injunction has been lifted. Dex is all, "Kewl!" and assures him that his company will do an awesome job building the pipeline, then happily scampers off, seemingly oblivious to how sickly Blake is looking.
At Carrington manor, Sammy Jo is watching TV while feasting on peanuts and soda when Steven enters the room and grimaces at the sight of her. She tells him she wants to enrol Danny in nursery school so he can socialize with other kids, but Steven's like, "Nope" 'cause he's worried she'll try to abduct him again. Sammy Jo rolls her eyes and snippily tells him he needs a new boyfriend to chill him the fuck out, then flounces out of the room. Steven notices a news brief on the TV featuring Bart Fallmont, who's railing to reporters about the soulless Carringtons and their future pipeline that will surely cause immeasurable environmental damage. He snarls about the greediness of Blake and Alexis Carrington and accuses them of desiring profits at the expense of the quality of life, and Steven's all, "The fuck?!" and storms off, half-cocked (pun intended), to confront the cheeky politician.
Steven somehow tracks down Bart to an empty gym, yells, "You damn liar!", and advances on him...then hastily steps aside to allow two stunt doubles to launch a ridiculously dragged-out sequence of the [pent-up, semi-closeted] men going at it in a vigorously homoerotic wrestling match featuring a relentless abundance of kittenish hair-pulling and chokeholds - until eventually they collapse next to each other in sweaty exhaustion. The two lay on the floor, panting as they catch their breath, and stare at each other in aroused bewilderment until Steven finally gets up and stalks off.
"Take that!"
"And that!"
"And again!"
"And a little more!"
"Are you as turned on as I am?"
"It really depends on how gay friendly the writers are feeling this week."
Inside a luxurious hotel suite, a wealthy looking white man is gushing about the awesome manuscript he just finished reading, aka the soon-to-be-published biography of the world's most powerful woman. Caress enters the room decked out in a brown metallic '80s gown and says she intends to title her book Sister Dearest, and wryly says it only took her five years in a Venezuelan prison cell to write. She then picks up the phone and starts to make a person-to-person call to Alexis Dexter in Denver - then changes her mind and decides to head straight for the airport and surprise her sister dearest in person.
While basking in some post-coitus afterglow, Dex happily reports to Alexis that he won the bid for Denver Carrington's pipeline project. Alexis congratulates him and asks him if he thought Blake seemed "off center", but Dex just kind of shrugs and says that Blake seemed mostly fine, though in hindsight it was a bit weird that he caved in to his demands in such a meek fashion. Alexis says she suspects that something very strange is going on with Blake and intends to get to the bottom of it. A dismayed Dex sighs and says it's none of her business - but Alexis argues that since the interests of ColbyCo are at stake with the pipeline project, it is her business, then vows to dig around until she comes up with satisfactory answers.
Alexis arrives at Carrington manor to deliver a ginormous stuffed panda bear to Danny...and she's directed over to the solarium, where Sammy Jo is spending quality time with her toddler meal ticket. Alexis greets her grandson and promptly sends him off camera with the servants and panda bear, then asks Sammy Jo whassup with Rita/Krystle and Dr. Travers, specifically how much time they've been spending together. Sammy Jo snappishly says she doesn't track their movements, but Alexis sneeringly says she doesn't buy that and demands to know how Krystle met the man. When Sammy Jo stammers that he was recommended by a friend, Alexis accuses her of being evasive and asks her if Krystle's doctor lover is a friend of hers. Sammy Jo snaps, "Get off my case!" and storms off, leaving Alexis staring suspiciously after her.
Adam asks Blake if he went to the doctor, and Blake says he did, but that the doctor just told him to stop working so hard. He then decides he's going to call it a day so he can go home and rest and asks Adam to keep an eye on things while he's incommunicado...and after he shuffles off, Adam walks behind Blake's desk and seats himself in the big chair looking visibly smug.
Rita/Krystle snappishly asks Alexis what she's still doing in the mansion, and Alexis responds by asking her what in blazes is going on in this house. Rita/Krystle says that that's been none of her business ever since Blake threw her out decades ago...and Alexis reminds her that she has many loved ones living under his roof, then comes right out and asks if she's having affair with Dr. Travers. Rita/Krystle refuses to admit any wrongdoing and blurts out, "I don't have to put up with this crud" ... and as Alexis stares at her in puzzlement, Blake arrives home, tells Rita/Krystle he's not feeling well, and asks her to cancel their appearance tonight at the museum exhibition. Once he's out of earshot, Alexis demands again to know what the hell is going on, then tells Rita/Krystle that clearly her extramarital affair is ruining Blake's health. Rita/Krystle reminds her that this is her house and that Blake is her husband...and Alexis says this isn't the last word on the issue, then storms out.
"Are you having an affair with Dr. Travers?"
"Technically I have never slept with anyone by that birth name."
Claudia is sitting in bed, needle-pointing, when Adam arrives home and presents her with a gift. She bitchily warns him that she doesn't want anymore jewelry, then finds a note inside the box that reads 'I owe you Blaisel-Lankershim 1'. Adam explains that during Blake's absence from the office today, he started the process of giving her back ownership of her oil well...while also plotting to lay down the legal work to take over the entire company. Claudia makes a meh face and tells him she couldn't give two shits about that second thing, then says she's going to fight her own battle in getting the oil well back by travelling to Oklahoma and doing a title search, presumably so that she can get ownership of the land officially awarded to her in court.
Over at the Delta Rho, Krystle is writhing in pain and calling out for help...and when George Hamilton bursts into the attic and asks whassup, she points at the left side of her abdomen and moans that her appendix is about to burst. He's all, "Ooooh nooo!" and says he'll bring the car around and rush her to the hospital. After he races out and leaves the attic door wide open (!), Krystle stops her fake writhing and approaches the open doorway, but George Hamilton suddenly appears and foils her escape by blocking her way and snarlingly tells her that appendix pain is on the right side of her abdomen, not the left.
Sammy Jo, who's decked out in a very dressy black polka dotted outfit and matching hat, is ambling down the second floor hall of Carrington manor when she spots the caution dangerous bottle laying on the floor. She picks it up before knocking on the bedroom door...and when Rita emerges, she accusingly asks her if she's slow poisoning Blake. Rita's like, "I have no idea what you're talkin' 'bout" and denies trying to kill the old man...then slams the door shut, leaving Sammy Jo staring worriedly at the bottle.
- Published on
World Finance is Denver's juiciest tabloid
Original airdate: 12/25/1985
Episode summary: When Blake tells Rita/Krystle he's contemplating divorce, she begins slow poisoning him. George Hamilton tells Krystle he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Garrett Boydston makes a sexy advance on Dominique.
George Hamilton asks Krystle if she wouldn't mind sewing a missing button on his shirt cuff, then promises to bring her a special dinner later. Krystle thanks him and suggests he join her so she can sneakily get him to trust her enough to give her [another golden] opportunity to escape his clutches. She reminds him that he once talked about making her a star and asks if he's a movie producer...and he rails about the Hollywood imbeciles who fired him for going over-budget on a film he was directing. When Krystle clucks faux sympathetically, George Hamilton says he's gullible enough to believe she truly understands his life woes, then coos, "We could have quite a future together." He confirms their dinner date for later and ambles out, leaving Krystle staring worriedly into space.
Amanda tells King Galen she's worried about whatever could be keeping Prince Michael in New York longer than expected. Galen tells her to not worry her pretty little head about politics and leave it to those who understand it, and to remain stoic whenever she's out in public. Amanda [somehow refrains from smacking him for his misogyny and] accuses him of risking Michael's life so he can regain control of the Moldavian throne. She wonders aloud how high a price they're all going to have to pay for this dream to become a reality before storming over to the elevator...where she runs into Dex, who's all sweaty from a workout. He remarks on how bummed she looks and asks her if the royal marriage has lost its bloom, then says he really does care for her, though maybe not in the way she'd like him to. He assures her he'll always be there for her - just as the elevator doors open to the sight of a suspicious looking Alexis. After Amanda scuttles off, Dex hands his wife the latest edition of World Finance, in which Gordon Wales has published a tabloidy article titled Millionairess Risks All For King. It's interesting that the editors of a financial magazine would allow their reporters to delve into National Enquirer type scuttlebutt. Dex tells her that, in his article, Wales suggested she "risked all" for King Galen 'cause she wants to become the next Queen of Moldavia - but she denies ever having said that, assures Dex that she made it clear to Gordon Wales she's a happily married woman, and that she's waaaay more interested in building a banking empire than she is in co-governing a fictional country. Dex mulls that over and says he believes that she doesn't love another man, but does believe that she loves power more than anything. She gives him a well duh look and says, "Of course I love power" and breathily describes it as exciting and an aphrodisiac. She then urges him to go take a shower and wait for her to return, and sassily adds, "And that is a royal command." So there!
"You'd love to be Galen's queen consort, wouldn't you?"
"Actually, I aspire to become 'Head Bank Lady of Moldavia'."
Adam and Dominique are at Denver Carrington, discussing the pipeline delay with Blake, in particular the grudge that Bart Fallmont seems to harbor against the Carringtons. When Adam says that the project could be delayed for a year, Blake orders him to spare no expense in magically making the problem go away. He looks around for some notes he wrote up about the pipeline, then says he probably left them at the mansion and will rush home to retrieve them. After Adam leaves, Dominique remarks to Blake on how distracted he seems, and he admits that the bizarre change in Krystle's behavior has been troubling him, and that he can't shake the feeling he's starting to lose her. Dominique says she hates to meddle in other people's marriages - but concurs that, yep, everyone has noticed how squirrelly Krystle has gotten.
Over at Carrington manor, George Hamilton orders Rita to start transferring Sammy Jo's funds into a Cayman Island bank account that he put in his...er their name. LOL. When Rita says that Sammy Jo didn't tell her anything about a Caymans account, he explains that she has no idea it exists and that he set it up for them to get their cut of the dough. Rita says she wants to transfer everything today and put an end to this wretched doppelgänger storyline, but George Hamilton warns that money transferring is a delicate operation, which needs to be done in three instalments. Rita says she hates keeping up the pretence of being Krystle Carrington, not least 'cause Blake wants her to start seeing a psychiatrist...and strongly suggests that they flee now before the whole thing blows up in their faces and they end up in prison for the rest of their lives. George Hamilton coos about what a great job she's doing pretending to be Krystle - and is about to canoodle her when Blake bursts into the study, glares at them, and demands to know what the hell is going on. George Hamilton fibs about how Rita/Krystle just fainted, and Rita/Krystle nods and says she wasn't feeling well so she called her "doctor". Blake shoots George Hamilton the stink-eye and growls, "Get out of my house, and don't come back!" before asking Rita/Krystle exactly which friend recommended him to her. She stammers that the recommendation came from a friend who's currently skiing in Switzerland and can't be reached...and Blake implores her to tell him what in blazes is making her act so fucking weird these days. He gets all grab-handsy and says it feels as though a stranger has taken his wife's place - just as Alexis breezes into the room carrying another wrapped gift for Little Blake. Rita/Krystle takes the opportunity to hastily excuse herself, and Alexis grins gleefully at the obvious marital disharmony she just walked in on.
"What the devil is going on?"
"It's so much worse than you could possibly imagine."
Over lunch, Alexis tells Dex what Little Blake told her, but Dex dismissively says that clearly the kid is prone to exaggeration. Alexis argues that her grandson is perceptive, then reminds him that they did catch Rita/Krystle dancing with George Hamilton at the Roadhouse during the previous episode. She shakes her head in prudish dismay as she rails about how disgusting it is to go to bed with your extramarital lover in your husband's mansion...and says this as though she didn't testify at Blake's Season 2 manslaughter trial about how Blake caught her and Roger Grimes in the sack when he returned home earlier than expected from a business trip. Dex is like, "Whatever, I couldn't care less", says it's really none of her business, and urges her to drop the subject.
When Steven confronts Adam for hiring a PI to dig up dirt on Bart Fallmont, Adam explains that he's being uncooperative and wants to see if there's any leverage he could use against him. Steven says he wants to do everything by the book, which prompts Adam to question his desire to protect the man...who has clearly set off his gaydar, 'cause he remarks, "He is attractive, after all." Steven blushes at that foreshadowing and says he merely doesn't want the Carrington name discredited.
Dominique and Jonathan are having a boring lunch date in the La Mirage restaurant when Garrett Boydston sees them and makes a beeline over to say hey. After Dominique introduces him to Jonathan, he invites her out for dinner while he's in town - and she looks up at him all wistful and tempted, but tells him she'll be too busy. Garrett's like, "Er, OK" and ambles off...and once he's out of earshot, Jonathan asks her if that's the man who hurt her. Dominique ignores his question and says they really should order some food.
"I saw that you were on a boring lunch date, so I figured 'why not interrupt and ask you out?'"
"Lemme get back to you after I dump this deadwood."
Rita/Krystle is out shoe shopping when Alexis happens to enter the store she's in to pick up a bedazzled pair of earrings she had placed on order. She sees Rita/Krystle, wanders over, and chides her for having the nerve the show her face in public after dancing cheek-to-cheek with George Hamilton at the roadhouse last episode. Rita/Krystle stares back at her blankly and asks, "What roadhouse?" and Alexis tells her to stop playing innocent and cackles about her "doctor" treating her for her "malaise in the boudoir". LOL. Rita/Krystle snaps, "You bitch!", prompting Alexis to disdainfully call her "a fish-wife" and admonish her for publicly carrying on with a far younger, handsomer man than goat daddy.
George Hamilton promises Krystle that she won't be his captive for much longer, and she perks up at that and says she really enjoyed dancing at the roadhouse the other night and would loooove to do it again sometime. He tells her they'll have their whole lives to do whatever they want together, then says he wants to live his life with her - not Rita or any of the other floozies he's hooked up over the years, who are nothing but a cheap imitation of her. When Krystle stares back at him in startled horror, he asks her if she's thinking about her "precious Blake", and she admits she is 'cause of how much she loves him. George Hamilton looks insulted - but vows to make her forget Blake, then caresses her neck and purrs at her about how he'll someday win her love...and a revolted Krystle reacts by staring despondently into space.
Amanda complains to Blake that Rita/Krystle has been cold and distant lately, and asks if she's unwittingly done something to offend her. Blake assures her the problem lies with his erratic wife, who's been out of sorts for the last six episodes or so. Amanda looks satisfied enough with that answer and offers to serve as a sympathetic ear if he ever needs to talk, and Blake coos about how lucky he is to have such a loving daughter and gives her a warm goodnight hug.
"Whaddup with your wife, daddy?"
"Dunno. Lately she seems like a frigid, tacky version of her usual self."
Jonathan drops by Dominique's La Mirage suite with a bag of croissants, informs her that he's been hired as a consultant for Bart Fallmont on the pipeline injunction case, and says he hopes they can still be friends. Dominique shoots him a the hell? look and reminds him that the Carringtons are her family, then sharply declares that whatever boring-as-fuck flirtation existed between them will not be developing into anything more.
Garrett summons Dominique to the La Mirage bar, then explains that he's flying back to Los Angeles soon and wanted to see her before he left. He says he can't stop thinking about her and would like them to resume their love affair, then pulls her towards him in a forcible hug and smooches her. As she pretends to struggle while also looking totally into it, he whispers, "This is only the beginning..", then abruptly wanders off, leaving Dominique staring into space with a weirdly nauseated look on her face. LOL.
Alexis drops by Blake's office to discuss the pipeline injunction, and she agrees to put on a united front 'cause she doesn't want to cause him any hardship while he's grappling with his marital issues. She asks him, "out of curiosity", how he felt when he found her screwing Roger Grimes in their bed, and he snaps, "You know damn well how I felt!" and tries to change the subject. Alexis says it must have been devastating to his pride, then tells him she knows for a fact that Rita/Krystle has been cheating on him with "Dr. Travers", and that the eyewitness was Little Blake, who saw the two getting it on in their bedroom. Blake is all, "Wha-a-a?" and stares into space with a troubled expression on his wrinkly face.
"How intense was your rage when you caught me red-handed, riding Roger Grimes' baloney pony?"
"A savage candlestick's beating worth."
Rita heads straight to Delta Rho, tells George Hamilton she wants out now, and says she no longer cares about the money. When she tells him that Blake thinks she's having an affair with "Dr. Travers", George Hamilton chuckles and says he just came up with a new plan, then hands her a small bottle labelled caution dangerous. He explains that it's "medicine" that'll slow down the heart to the point that it will weaken Blake until he eventually suffers total heart failure. When Rita looks aghast at the prospect of slow poisoning Blake to death, George Hamilton points out that a divorced Krystle Carrington will end up penniless - whereas Blake's widow will inherit his entire fortune. Rita moans, "I can't doooooo it..", so George Hamilton tells her she has to do this for them...and by has to, he means that this is a direct order.
Claudia tells Adam she's angry with him for doing fuck all to help her to regain control of the Lankershim oil well she feels she fairly inherited. When Adam points out for the umpteenth time that his focus is on gaining control of the entire Carrington fortune, she tells him she wants her own financial independence from this lone oil well, then snappishly tells him to get lost.
Blake asks Rita/Krystle where she's been all evening, so she fibs and tells him she was out driving. She acknowledges that lately she's been a shitty wife and wants to work things out...and when Blake growls that he doesn't buy it, Rita/Krystle glances shiftily at his brandy glass and covertly pulls the poison bottle out of her pocket. She pours it into his drink as he brings up the issue of divorce, then complains that she's tired of this conversation and is off to bed: alone. After she storms out of the room, Blake snatches up his brandy glass and angrily guzzles it.
- Published on
George Hamilton is enjoying his first date with Krystle
Original airdate: 12/18/1985
Episode summary: George Hamilton takes Krystle to an out-of-the-way roadhouse, where they happen to run into Dex and Alexis. Rita angers Blake when she refuses again to go to bed with him. King Galen moves into Alexis' penthouse to begin his convalescence.
Over at the Delta Rho, Sammy Jo tells George Hamilton she's getting tired of how long the Krystle/Rita doppelganger storyline is being dragged out and wants him to instruct Rita to transfer her inheritance money to a Cayman Islands bank account asap. George Hamilton pretends as if he's going to get right on that and sends her on her way - just as Rita bursts into the room and announces that she can no longer stand having to come up with excuses to avoid hitting the sheets with the old goat. George Hamilton shrugs disinterestedly at her distress and says, "Then just hit the sheets with him" and reminds her that they all have sacrifices to make when it comes to ensuring the success of Operation Swindle the Carringtons. Rita makes an ew face and says she's worried she won't be as good as Krystle in bed, and George Hamilton assures her she needn't worry 'bout that 'cause "all cats are grey in the dark". As a revolted looking Rita stares worriedly into space, George Hamilton reminds her that they've come way too far to fail at this point in the scheme, then leans in and gives her an intense smooch.
"I'm worried that eventually I'll have to go to bed with Blake in order to keep this implausible doppelganger scheme going."
"I'm more than willing to let you make that sacrifice."
Alexis drops by the guest suite of her penthouse to welcome a newly arrived King Galen to her home...and he schmaltzily coos about how grateful he is for her kindness, then informs her that he requires a few things to get Operation Regain Control of Moldavia underway: a private phone line, a telex address, a secretary, and a line of credit. Alexis raises her eyebrows at that last thing, but then says, "Consider it done" - at least until he regains the use of his legs. After she heads to the office, Prince Michael arrives for a one-on-one with the king, who orders him to fly to New York tonight to meet with a group of mercenaries whose loyalties are for sale, and to be tough in his dealings with him. Galen then warns that there are many enemies among them, namely Dex Dexter...and when Prince Michael's all, "Wuh? But Dex saved your life", Galen dismissively says that that's sooo four episodes ago, and that he now considers Dex his mortal enemy. Sounds ungrateful and overly dramatic, but OK.
Rita/Krystle returns to Carrington manor with Sammy Jo and is stunned to see that Blake has arranged to have the vestibule filled with flowers and instructed one of his servants to present her with a jewelry box containing a set of giant tacky earrings and a card that describes them as a token of my everlasting love. Rita/Krystle bursts into tears and races upstairs with Sammy Jo following closely behind...and when Sammy Jo asks her whassup with her tears, Rita wails, "No man's ever loved me the way he does!" then acknowledges that it isn't actually her he loves. She says that Blake's devotion to Krystle makes her even more miffed at George Hamilton for so nonchalantly urging her to go to bed with Blake...and a few seconds later, Blake calls to apologize for the snarly way he talked to her this morning, and that he's looking forward to this evening's make up sex. Rita hangs up, contemplates the prospect of getting boned by the old goat, and cries, "Oh God!" LOL. Oh God indeed.
Rita/Krystle composes herself, then goes downstairs to ask Mrs. Gunnerson to prepare Blake's favorite dinner and to also find a tasty bottle of wine for the special occasion.
Prince Michael arrives at La Mirage and finds Amanda waiting for him in his office. She offers to take him to lunch, but he declines 'cause he has soooo much to do, including jetting to New York on business. She asks him if this "business" is political work, and he cagily says the less she knows about what he's up to these days, the better. Amanda poutishly tells him she wants to be involved in all aspects of Operation Regain Control of Moldavia, but Prince Michael insists that it's too far dangerous and sternly says he won't allow it...then softens his tone and says he's merely trying to protect her. She throws herself into his arms, says she loves him and is frightened for him, and he half-heartedly tries to assure her that everything will be OK. She suggests involving Dex in whatever political work he's doing in New York, but Prince Michael's like, "No way in hell" and orders her to keep his travel itinerary to herself, since the security and success of the mission relies on no one knowing what he and his traitorous father are plotting.
"I expect to be an equal partner in this marriage."
"Whereas I expect you to be a subservient trophy wife who keeps her mouth shut."
Over at Carrington manor, Alexis tells Jeannette she just visited with Little Blake, who's apparently still very upset at being sworn at by Rita/Krystle. She hands the maid a hundred dollar bill and says she'll match that payment every week if she stays on the alert and reports on everything that Krystle says and does. Jeannette look horrified at the idea of spying on her employer and refuses to do it - just as Rita/Krystle enters the room after having eavesdropped on enough of the conversation to get the gist of what Alexis is up to. She orders Alexis to get the hell out of her mansion.
Dominique decides to take Jonathan up on his dinner invitation...and he gabbles about seeing her sing in Paris all those years ago when he was about to commit suicide, and says he feels like they're kindred spirits 'cause of the deep hurts they've both suffered, blah blah. He promises that she'll soon drop her defences with him and won't be sorry she did...and Dominique stares back at him with an intrigued looking expression on her face.
George Hamilton drops by the attic to hand Krystle one of her dresses and says she can wear that when he takes her out on the town tomorrow night. Krystle stares back at him perplexedly and goes, "Are you serious?", and he bitchily retorts that yes he's taking her out, but that if she tries to do anything to escape his clutches, he'll instruct Rita to hurt her baby.
Blake and Rita/Krystle dine in the privacy of their bedroom, and Blake gushes about the wonderfulness of the food, wine, and ambiance. He then remarks on the distance that has developed between them and asks her if he's said or done something that's been irking her, and Rita/Krystle says no, and that probably all they needed was a good dinner. Blake seems satisfied enough with that response and gets all canoodly while moaning, "I loooove you", then unzips the back of her dress and plants a giant smooch on her lips. Rita/Krystle tries to act like she's into it - but after a few seconds she get too icked out and shrieks, "I can't!" Blake gets vexed and snaps, "What's the matter now?!", then gets all in her face and asks her if he needs to forcibly (!) remind her what they have together. He pushes her atop the bed and starts mauling her while she cries, "Noooooo!!", which jars him into stopping his attack and recalling that the last time he committed marital rape it nearly destroyed their marriage - even though, as I recall, it was hastily swept under the rug - and so he's taking a pass on committing a second sexual assault. The old creep then stalks out of the room and leaves a shaken Rita/Krystle staring bewilderedly into space.
"Am I going to have to forcibly remind you to fulfill your wifely duties?"
"I'll take that as a yes."
Adam is in Bart Fallmont's office, attempting to bribe him with sizeable political campaign donations in exchange for putting an end to the injunction against the pipeline project. Bart makes it clear he can't be bought and angrily orders Adam to get the hell out of his office, and an unfazed Adam saunters out of the room, smirking.
Steven confronts Adam about meeting with Bart Fallmont without consulting him. Adam says he'll handle this injunction crisis however he sees fit, and Steven angrily declares that he's going to drop in on Fallmont for his own impromptu meeting and keep his fingers crossed that something useful comes of that.
Bart Fallmont tells Steven he assumes he's here to apologize for his brother's shitty behavior, and assumes that they're playing good cop/bad cop. Steven denies playing games and says he's here to discuss the pipeline, regardless of whatever Adam was up to. Bart angrily vows to fight the construction of the pipeline with everything he's got and rails about how the project is going to rape the land and destroy the environment. Steven denies that any of that will happen and insists that Blake is a benevolent job creator who would never endanger the environment to line his own pockets - bwahahaha! - but Bart snorts in disgust and orders him to get the hell out of his office.
The Rolls-Royce transporting Alexis and Dex to somewhere fancy for the evening gets a flat tire a few feet away from a dive called The Big Oaks Lounge. Dex suggests to his wife that they pass the time there while the driver changes the tire...and she makes a seriously? expression before Dex says it's either that or help the driver with the flat.
By scripted coincidence, George Hamilton has chosen The Big Oaks Lounge as the venue for his first date with Krystle. Alexis quickly spots them, is all, "The fuck she doin' here?" and tells Dex she's intrigued to learn why Krystle is hanging out in a low class bar with a good looking man. She suggests they hit the dance floor and enjoy Krystle's reaction when she realizes she's been caught red-handed.
George Hamilton tells Krystle that this is a magical night for him - LOL - then notices the startled look on her face as she stares across the room at Alexis and Dex. He asks her if she knows the two of them - she says no - then warns her to not do anything stupid. She assures him she won't, then covertly takes a matchbook and a tube of lipstick out of her purse and write HELP on the inside of the matchbook. With that done, she asks George Hamilton if he'd like to dance, and he beams and happily accepts. A few seconds after they hit the dance floor, Alexis whirls around, pretends she didn't notice her earlier, and exclaims, "Krystle! What a surprise!" and asks her if this is the new hangout for rich trophy wives looking to slum it for the evening. She asks to be introduced to her gentleman friend, but then just goes ahead and introduces herself before asking George Hamilton who in the heck he is. After a brief inquisition about "Dr. Travers'" faux medical practice, a panicked looking Krystle tells Alexis she'd give anything for one of her cigarettes right now...and Alexis scrunches her face confusedly and says, "Since when do you smoke?", but then shrugs and asks Dex to retrieve her package of cigarettes. Krystle tries to hand her the matchbook with HELP written inside of it, but George Hamilton takes it from her and slyly says she really shouldn't smoke, then steers her across the room. Dex stares curiously at the two, clearly sensing that something is amiss - but then allows Alexis to convince him that the weirdness of that interaction can be attributed to Krystle's guilt about being caught publicly canoodling with a man who isn't Blake. As the two exit the lounge, Krystle stares after them longingly while continuing to dance with George Hamilton, hopefully kicking herself hard for so stupidly wasting that rescue opportunity.
"Aren't you going to introduce us to your gentleman friend?"
"His name is Help, He's Holding Me Captive."
The next morning, Blake reminds Rita/Krystle that they're scheduled to attend a charity ball this evening, and that he'd appreciate it if she would pretend as though she's his loving wife, despite her disinterest in riding his baloney pony. Rita/Krystle stares back at him dumbly, then stares worriedly into space after he exits the room.
As Alexis and Dex bask in post-coital afterglow, Alexis cackles about how they caught Krystle at a sleazy lounge with her lover. She asks Dex if Krystle ever come onto him, and he says no and chuckles about the perverseness of the question. He then changes the subject and asks her when she thinks King Galen might regain the use of his legs [so he can move out of the penthouse and out of their lives], and she just shrugs and replies, "I guess whenever his nerves start to respond."
King Galen is staring at his bare foot and willing his toes to move when Alexis drops by his suite with a stack of magazines to help him pass the time. He tells her there hasn't been any improvement in the motor functioning of his bottom half, and she says it'll probably take time, and that once he's able to walk again they'll have to celebrate. He tells her it means soooo much to him that she has welcomed him into her home when he's at his most vulnerable, and promises to make the trouble well worth her while...and she grins and is like, "Well d'yuh. Why the hell do you think I'm doing all this?"
George Hamilton brings Krystle a television set and suggests they pass the evening by uncomfortably sitting side by side and watching the tube. He steps out to get a tray of food, and Krystle glances over at the TV and happens to see a local news report about the evening's charity ball. She's aghast when she sees Rita/Krystle and Blake exit a limo and give a short interview about the charity to the local anchor...then has a freakout and smashes the TV set onto the floor. When George Hamilton rushes back into the room, she bellows, "You stole my life! I'm Krystle Carrington!", and George Hamilton orders her to forget about her past life 'cause he'd really like it if she were to fall in love with him, then gives her a strange looking bear hug. Krystle shoves him away and snaps, "You're insane!" and he gets a weird look on his face and calmly asks, "Am I? We'll see about that", then says he has a way with women, and that soon she'll know what it's like to be doinked by a Don Juan such as himself. LOL. And ew.
- Published on
Krystle tries to enjoy a supervised bubble bath
Original airdate: 12/11/1985
Episode summary: Dex warns Alexis that King Galen is plotting to use her cash for nefarious purposes. Rita/Krystle continues to avoid Blake's amorous attention. George Hamilton allows Krystle to take a bubble bath.
Over at Carrington manor, Blake notices that Rita/Krystle is just picking at her breakfast. He tells her he's been so worried about her health that he made an appointment for her with Dr. Tyler. Rita/Krystle assures Blake that she feels soooo much better after seeing "Dr. Travers", but Blake insists on getting a second opinion and says he'll be accompanying her to the appointment.
Alexis is interviewing nurses to care for King Galen once he starts recuperating in her penthouse...and when Dex gets wind of what's going on, he makes it clear that he's less than thrilled by this latest development. Alexis points out that their hospitality will one day be worth billions of dollars, but Dex counters that it's not "their" hospitality since she didn't exactly ask his permission, and that he frankly couldn't give a rat's ass about Galen's billions. Alexis stares at him incredulously and says they're about to be handed a fortune once..
- Galen regains his throne
- Galen deposits the national treasury into ColbyCo Bank (ColbyCo is a bank now?)
- Galen transforms Moldavia into an international tax haven
Dex seems most skeptical about item #2, warns her that Galen might be using her, and points out that they already have all the money they could ever want. Alexis retorts that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...then reminds him how hard she's had to work to get respect for everything she's achieved, being a woman and all. The conversation is abruptly interrupted when a couple of work men enter the penthouse with a flat piece of wood to begin construction on Galen's wheelchair ramp.
"Eventually, the Bank of ColbyCo will receive a ginormous deposit."
"Impressive. I had no idea that ColbyCo was a bank within an oil company."
Rita/Krystle insists to Dr. Tyler that she feels A-OK, but Dr. Tyler says he'll run a battery of tests just to be sure...and that if anything is wrong with her, he'll uncover it.
Prince Michael tells his father he doesn't approve of the ColbyCo banking deal, 'cause anything that substantial is supposed to be decided in consultation with the Cabinet and Parliament...otherwise the snubby oversight might lead to another revolt. King Galen admits that he's planning to use Alexis' cash to buy arms and loyalty in his quest to regain the Moldavian throne...after which he'll promptly reneg on the tax haven promise. He warns Prince Michael to not breathe a word of this underhandedness to Amanda or Alexis - and when Prince Michael's like, "But Amanda is my wife!", King Galen says that right now his only priority should be his country.
Over lunch, Claudia whines to Adam that Walter Lankershim bequeathed her his oil well, which Blake is now claiming belongs to Denver Carrington. When she says she plans on filing charges against Blake, Adam urges her to stifle that urge and focus her energy more on getting "the whole pie". Claudia complains that she's tired of begging the Carringtons for everything and would much prefer to live off of the profits the Lankershim oil well yields - but Adam tells her the last thing they should be doing right now is antagonizing the old goat, and promises that he'll one day get her damn oil well back. A few seconds later, Adam gets a phone call from Blake, summoning him to his office.
"I'm tired of having to sponge off of the rich Carringtons."
"Don't fret. One day you'll be able to sponge off of the profits of an oil well you had nothing to do with excavating."
Alexis arrives at Carrington manor with a wrapped gift for Little Blake, who's driving his toy car down the mansion's corridor. He accidentally crashes into Rita/Krystle, who snappishly calls him "a little creep", yanks him out of the car, and threatens to take the toy car away from him. Alexis gasps in shock and barks, "Take your hands off that child!", then hands Little Blake the gift and sends him to the kitchen for a snack. She then warns Rita/Krystle to never swear at or manhandle her grandson ever again...and as Rita/Krystle storms off, Alexis snarls that she can't wait for the day she exits Carrington manor forever.
Alexis rushes over to Denver Carrington to express concern to Blake for their grandson's safety, specifically 'cause she just caught Krystle abusing the child. Blake rolls his eyes and says they both know that Krystle would never harm anyone - but Alexis insists that Little Blake was genuinely frightened during the altercation. She chides Blake for not listening to her, says that one day he'll regret not heeding her warning, then flounces out of his office.
"Your doppelganger wife is a child abuser."
"I do not accept that accusation."
Krystle is morosely staring into space, thinking about Kristina and whispering, "I love you soooooo much." A smiling George Hamilton enters the attic and says he has no choice about having to hold her captive...but that how much she enjoys her relatively comfortable captivity is up to her. Krystle snaps back that she wants to be home with her family and won't pretend to be comfortable for his sake. George Hamilton frowns and says that that's a shame 'cause he was about to let her out of the attic so she could take a nice long bath. He breathily describes how luxurious it would be to feel "the nice, soft caress of the hot water" and asks her if she'd like that...and despite the creepy way he's talking and staring at her, she perks up and is all, "That sounds awesome!" LOL.
"Would you like to feel the soapy hot water soothe the sexy orifices of your smoking' hot bod?"
"When you put it that way...uh, sure."
At Carrington manor, Steven gets enraged when Claudia informs him that Sammy Jo took Danny to Delta Rho with her. He announces that he's storming over to the ranch right now to fetch his son.
George Hamilton admonishes Sammy Jo for bringing her brat to the very ranch where Krystle is being held captive...and Sammy Jo notices the pile of Krystle's clothes, looks alarmed, and asks if her aunt is all right. George Hamilton assures her she's fine, but to not go anywhere near the bathroom 'cause Krystle, who's currently soaking in a hot tub, still has no idea that she has been party to this doppelganger/kidnapper scheme.
Steven bursts into Sammy Jo's office and admonishes her for taking their son away from Carrington manor without permission. Sammy Jo weakly says she thought he might like to see the horses - but if he's that angry about it, he should just take Danny and leave.
George Hamilton is escorting Krystle back to the attic when they see Steven and Danny exit the residence. Krystle opens her mouth to scream - but George Hamilton clamps his hand over it and drags her over to the stables. He keeps her hidden behind a wall, and threateningly orders her to keep her trap shut 'cause he really doesn't want to have to hurt her.
After the commercial break, Steven and Danny enter the stable and unwittingly walk past Krystle and George Hamilton to have a look at some of the horses. After a few nerve-wracking (not really) seconds, Steven tells his son they should be getting home now. Once the two are out of hearing range, George Hamilton tells Krystle it's too late to yell for help, then hovers over her creepily. When he leans in to kiss her, she moves her head away...and he boasts, "Soon you're going to want me. I'm a very patient man." Ew.
Dex drops by Denver Carrington to bitchily remind Blake that his company submitted a bid to construct the oil pipeline and that he hasn't heard back. Blake explains that there's a temporary restraining order on that project, and Dex is like, "That sounds like your problem" and says it feels as though he's being deliberately kept out of the deal...and Blake's like, "Go pee up a rope, Dex. I have other things on mind these days."
Dex enters Alexis' office and overhears Alexis on the phone, transferring $2 million to King Galen's account so he can buy arms for the Moldavian underground. Dex shakes his head in dismay and asks her if she's not worried that Galen will nationalize his country's banking industry once he's back on the throne, but Alexis insists that she trusts the king to keep his word. Dex points out that she doesn't actually know the man that well, and asks her to ponder why there was a revolution in the first place. Alexis retorts by asking him if he plans on moving out if she continues to help and trust Galen, and Dex says that this time he's going to stick around to protect her from her naïveté and horrendous decision-making.
Dr. Tyler informs Rita/Krystle that she's perfectly healthy, and Blake's all, "Woo hoo!" while Rita/Krystle breathes a huge sigh of relief.
Later, Rita/Krystle spikes Blake's brandy just before he emerges from the bathroom in his robe. He gets all canoodly and moans, "I loooove you, I've missed you" and tries to steer her over to the bed - but Rita/Krystle's all, "Ack!" at the prospect of getting boned by goat daddy and pulls away in revulsion while barking at him to leave her alone. As a confused Blake is all, "What the..?", she flees the bedroom, runs down the hall, and locks herself inside a different room...and Blake chases after her, pounds on the door, and demands that she let him in (excuse the pun).
- Published on
"I thoroughly enjoy saying I told you so to people."
Original airdate: 12/4/1985
Episode summary: Blake buys a horse for Rita/Krystle, and is miffed when she shows little enthusiasm for the gift. Claudia is angry when she learns that her new oil well is an asset of Denver Carrington. Alexis tells Dex she's invited King Galen to move into their penthouse while he recovers from his surgery.
Alexis wakes up with her adorable Shih Tzu in bed beside her. She touches the pillow, sighs heavily, and gets up to phone Sam Dexter to see if he happens to know where Dex is - but Sam says he has absolutely no idea.
Blake remarks to Sammy Jo that Krystle has been acting very strangely lately and asks her if they've been arguing, and Sammy Jo says no and adds that she's probably just tired from the big pipeline party from three episodes ago. Blake grumbles that he doesn't think Dr. Travers is doing his wife any good, then informs Sammy Jo that he'll be at Delta Rho this afternoon to buy Krystle a white Arabian (Selina) to cheer her up. Sammy Jo's like, "No can do, Selina has been sold" ... and when Blake says he'll stop by anyway to see what else she has in stock, she tells him it's not a good idea 'cause the veterinarian is coming to examine the horses for a mystery ailment they suddenly all came down with. Blake's like, "Whatever" and says he really really wants to surprise Krystle with a brand new horse.
Over at ColbyCo, Dex asks Steven where Alexis is, so Steven tells him she's at the hospital, hovering over King Galen before he's wheeled off to the OR. Dex snarks, "And to hell with her business and her marriage", and Steven says he's been tasked with taking care of ColbyCo in her absence, but will leave the marriage for him to sort out. He then chides Dex for abandoning Alexis while she's been so preoccupied with Galen and suggests he maybe stand by her for a change, and Dex mulls that over while staring contemplatively into space.
At La Mirage, Garrett tells Dominique he'd like to talk business with her over dinner, but she haughtily touts herself as a serious business woman who prefers to not mix business with anything resembling pleasure. A dismayed Garrett and asks her why she's so determined to keep pleasure out of her life, apologizes for the way their affair ended twenty years ago, and remarks on the sadness she exudes as if something has gone very wrong in her life. Dominique bitchily says he'd be the last person she'd ever confide in...and after he exits her suite, she pulls out a photo of a young bi-racial girl - who I can only assume is hers/Garrett's love spawn - and stares wistfully into space.
Blake summons Adam to his office to snarl at him about the coalition of farmers and environmentalists who are trying to get a restraining order in order to put a stop to the Denver Carrington/ColbyCo pipeline project. He asks Adam if they have a legitimate claim, and Adam assures him that he didn't take any shortcuts with the legal work, and that surely he'll win back his trust once the pipeline goes into the construction phase. Blake just glowers at him and says he wants a progress report at every step of this new clusterfuck.
Sammy Jo warns George Hamilton that Blake is coming to Delta Rho this afternoon, but he doesn't seem worried and starts nattering about the next phase of his nefarious scheme: creating a dummy corporation. Sammy Jo's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and says she'd really really like it if Rita went a lawyer and got her father's the will changed so that she can collect the entirety of her inheritance (minus their cut) and flee Denver. George Hamilton points out that that'd cause way too many alarm bells to go off, so they're going to need to transfer the money quietly and slowly. A few seconds later, the phone rings and the call gets picked up by his faux "Dr. Travers" answering machine. Blake leaves a snarky sounding message for "the doctor" to call him back asap, and George Hamilton smiles smugly at Sammy Jo and says, "See? I've thought of everything" ... to which Sammy Jo wryly replies, "Yes, you're a fucking genius, George." [Sorry - that was me being sarcastic.]
"I want to get my inheritance money and run far, far away."
"And I want to see how long the writers can continue to drag out this absurd impersonating Krystle storyline."
As Galen is being prepped for surgery, Prince Michael tells Alexis he finally learned the reason she helped rescue his father from Moldavia: they were in love many years ago, but were prohibited by Galen's father from marrying. Alexis confirms that that's indeed true, then clarifies that she didn't rescue Galen so much because they were once in love, but because she desperately wanted to right a wrong that had been done to him by the revolutionaries. She then changes the subject to his marriage with Amanda and says she'd really really like it if they could kiss/make up and live happily ever after.
Elsewhere in the hospital, Amanda tells Dex that Galen is about to have surgery and that Alexis has been sitting vigil at his bedside for days on end...and Dex rolls his eyes at that last thing and pissily objects to how the hospital's immediate family only rule was somehow extended to include Alexis. Amanda contorts her face into an expression of misery and moans about what a ginormous mistake she made marrying Prince Michael, and that it's clear he only married her for appearances. She whines, "Pleeeeeeease help me", but he's like, "Sorry, I have too many damn problems of my own right now. "
"Help me, Dex. My marriage is a misery."
"If only I gave even the tiniest of rat's asses about your problems."
Amanda follows her tiny rude prick of a husband to the waiting room to ask whassup with his incessant bitchitude, so he reminds her that she told her father she wants a divorce and that the last thing he wants right now is her pity. Amanda insists that, despite her recent desire to divorce him, she cares for him deeply and points out that he's been shutting her out. She implores him to share what he's feeling, so he blurts out, "OMG! I don't want my father to die!" ... and she assures him that Galen will be just fine, and that he should give her a chance to be his emotional support system. He apologizes for his general assholery this season and gives her a grateful hug.
Claudia rails to Adam about how Blake declared that Denver Carrington was the owner of her newly inherited oil well, and that he's denying her her rightful inheritance purely to be a dick. Adam's like, "Well duh, I told you so" and reminds her how many years' worth of anger towards Blake he has bottled up inside. Claudia laments no longer being independently wealthy, then commits to Adam's vague plot to seize all of the Carrington wealth and power for themselves.
Krystle is once again picking at the boards that are nailed across the window when she hears George Hamilton approach...and is all, "Ack!" when she sees that he's carrying rope. She scrunches her face into an expression of horrified misery and whimpers, "No...please don't", and he replies, "Sorry, just for a little while" and creepily advances on her as she cries, "Pleeeeeease..." He forces her onto a chair and ties up her hands and feet before muzzling her with a gag.
"Sorry, but I have to tie you up now."
"Would you take more pity on me if I started ugly crying?"
Adam snarks at Steven about the restraining order that might possibly affect construction of the pipeline, and Steven tells him to chillax so they can work through the situation in as smooth a manner as possible. Adam declares that since he's a lawyer he should be in charge - but Steven argues that he's not his subordinate and that they're going to have to tackle this boring-as-fuck crisis as equals.
At the penthouse, Dex is guzzling a beer when Alexis returns home and announces that Galen made it through surgery and is in recovery. She then tries to canoodle Dex - but when he just glares at her in response, she chides his sulkiness and purrs, "I don't want to fight, I want to make love." Dex stubbornly retorts that he's not her lapdog, so Alexis chuckles over his wounded male pride, fondles his chest, and breathily coos about how badly she wants to hit the sheets with him right now. Dex's penis perks up at that prospect and he moans, "Oooh Alexis.." and mounts her atop the couch, where the two start going at it.
Over at Carrington manor, Rita and George Hamilton are going at it on the bed when Little Blake bursts into the room, stares mutely at the dry humping spectacle for several seconds, then quietly retreats. Rita's like, "Fuuuuuuck.." and says she can't keep up this charade much longer, but George Hamilton just shrugs and assures her that no one will listen to the kid, and that he considers their impersonation scheme to be a work of art. He tells Rita that her next assignment is to find out where Blake keeps his will and other family documents, then suggests that they indulge in a romp 'cause they're probably not going to get another chance for a long time.
Blake is at Delta Rho, looking over the Arabians with Sammy Jo and one of the ranch hands. Sammy Jo glances nervously at the nearby building where an imprisoned Krystle is struggling with the ropes binding her hands and feet. Eventually, she manages to free herself, then picks at the window boards some more and loosens a large screw. She stares through the peephole, is startled to realize that she's being held captive at Delta Rho, and spots Blake and Sammy Jo. She cries, "I'm in here! Blake!" ... and when it's clear he can't hear her, she starts weeping uncontrollably.
A despondent Krystle is slumped on the floor when George Hamilton returns to the attic. She angrily calls him out for lying to her about not being at Delta Rho, then says she just saw Blake buy a horse from Sammy Jo. George Hamilton confirms that that is correct, and that since a doppelganger has taken her place at Carrington manor, Blake has no idea she's even gone. He snarls, "No one is looking for you, so no one will find you. That just leaves you and me" ... and as he's saying that, he creepily caresses her face. Krystle's like, "Ew" and shoves him away from her, and he responds by getting extra grab-handsy and glaring menacingly at her.
Alexis drops by the hospital to visit Galen, who thanks her for everything she's done for him since the Moldavian Massacre. Alexis leans in and is all, "Tell me more about that thing you said about me becoming the most powerful woman in the world" so he tells her he's willing to sign off on ColbyCo being in control of the entire banking industry in Moldavia (LOL, say what?!) - but only if he's able to regain power as king. [That sounds like a big if.] Alexis mulls that over and says that mounting a counter-coup d'etat sounds like a super fun challenge.
"So...about that making me the most powerful woman in the world promise."
"All you'd have to do is mount a bloody coup d'etat to reinstate me as king."
Blake drives Rita/Krystle over to the stables and says he has a surprise for her, then asks his ranch hand bring out Selina. Rita/Krystle pretends to look delighted at the sight of the white Arabian and flatly says, "Oh...a horse", and tentatively wanders over to pet it. The horse senses her dislike of it and makes an unhappy whinnying sound, and Rita/Krystle backs off and says that the horse's weird reaction to her must somehow be related to her chronic headache. Blake gets pissy, says it's obvious that Dr. Travers is doing fuck all to make her better, and that he's determined to get to the bottom with whatever's ailing her...and as he storms back into the car, Rita/Krystle stares worriedly into space.
- Published on
"I could be one romp away from getting outed as an impersonator."
Original airdate: 11/27/1985
Episode summary: George Hamilton poses as Rita/Krystle's doctor to gain access to Carrington manor. Claudia inherits an oil well. King Galen makes a cryptic promise to Alexis.
At the Delta Rho, Rita tells George Hamilton and Sammy Jo that Blake has become so concerned about her pretend headache that's been preventing her from fulfilling her wifely duties (ew), that he's insisting she see a doctor. George Hamilton perks up at that tidbit and decides 'why not cast myself in the role of Dr. Travers?' and says he can use the opportunity to get access to the mansion. Sammy Jo rolls her eyes and says she really just wants to get her inheritance money so she can get the hell outa town, but George Hamilton points out that she can't exactly transfer the entire inheritance at once 'cause it'll ring alarm bells. He then reminds both ladies that he's appointed himself the sole decision maker of this nefarious scheme and that they both need to shut up and do whatever he thinks is best.
Amanda arrives at the hospital with Blake...and when she sees Alexis hanging with Prince Michael and Dex, she cries, "Mummy!" and runs over to hug her, then hugs Dex. Prince Michael scrunches his face angrily, then thanks Dex for his courage in rescuing the king before snarking at him to stay the hell away from his wife. Dex responds by assuring him that there's nothing [at this moment] going on between him and Amanda, and storms off. A few seconds later, the doctor informs Prince Michael that his father is awake and asking to see him, and Prince Michael bitchily tells Amanda that he wants to visit with the king alone.
"Stay the hell away from my wife."
"Sure thing, cuckold."
Blake informs Alexis that Fallon is alive and well and starring in Dynasty's wretched spin-off show, The Colbys, and Alexis is all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" and dramatically shakes her head from side to side - LOL - as she cries, "I must go see her!" Blake cautions against that and explains that Fallon is suffering from amnesia and has no idea who she or anyone in her family is, and that the doctors warn that she's so fragile she might go over the edge if anyone tries to push her too hard. Alexis agrees to keep her distance and focus on the problems of her other daughter: Amanda and her shitty marriage.
George Hamilton brings Krystle a tray of food and admonishes her for not eating the previous meal he brought for her. Krystle notices the fancy suit he's wearing and asks him where's going all dressed up...and he tells her he's making a house call, wishes her bon appetite, then stares at her all weird and spacey before exiting the attic.
George Hamilton arrives at Carrington manor and introduces himself to the staff as Dr. Travers. Rita/Krystle greets him and pretends as though they're meeting for the first time, and then the two head upstairs for her fake appointment.
Dominique complains to Blake that someone in Los Angeles has been buying up lots of stock in her record company, and Blake assumes it's Charlton Heston and that he's doing it to drive a wedge between them. Sounds like a boring use of his time and resources, but OK. As Dominique heads out, she runs into Adam, who tells her he's working on a dossier on Garrett Boydston and would appreciate any intel she's able to share. Dominique haughtily retorts, "I'm not in the dossier business" and says he'll have to find his spy elsewhere...and Adam's like, "Er, OK..?" and asks if she's being so weird about this 'cause she heard about Blake disinheriting him. Dominique assures him that her nonsensical bitchitude has absolutely nothing to do with that, then explains that she knew Garrett a long time ago, but considers him a closed book which she has no desire to "reread".
"I could use your help with the Garrett Boydston dossier I'm working on."
"Sorry, but I've relegated him to my personal dustbin of history."
George Hamilton admires the priceless artwork hanging in the master bedroom and tells Rita that this mansion is a gold mine, and far more valuable than Sammy Jo's piddly inheritance. Rita says that her biggest concern these days is how to avoid getting boned by Blake, and points out that she can't keep pretending to have the same headache every night. George Hamilton replies, "Maybe you should sleep with him" and an insulted Rita's all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" and cries, "I thaaght you luhved me!" George Hamilton swiftly backtracks and pretends to agree that it's far too risky for her to bump uglines with Blake, and coos about how he really truly wants her all to himself. As the two get into some intense smooching action, Little Blake enters the room and looks aghast at the amorous spectacle...and Rita/Krystle explains that she was giving her pretend doctor a kiss 'cause it's his birthday. Little Blake looks doubtful and flees the room, and Rita tells George Hamilton she's worried he's going to tell someone he saw them kissing...and he ominously orders her to see to it that he doesn't.
Alexis drops by Adam's office to sign some papers for the pipeline deal and express her worry about the growing friction between him and Steven now that he's married to Claudia. She then congratulates him and wishes him good luck in making the marriage work, and Adam shoots her a grateful grin.
Later, Adam runs into Steven at Carrington manor and says he's bugged he hasn't yet received his congratulations on his new marriage. Steven says he doesn't give enough of a rat's ass about the marriage to approve or disapprove of it, so Adam taunts him about the way he abandoned Claudia when he ran off with Luke, then smugly adds, "At least now Claudia has a real man in her bed." Steven says that whatever they do in the sack is their business and that he'd prefer not to know anything about it, then pissily tells Adam to pass along his condolences to his new wife.
A giddy Claudia rushes into Adam's office and tells him she just learned she inherited the Blaisdel-Lankershim oil well. She gushes about how DE-lighted she is to no longer be treated like a poor person now that she considers herself an equal to the Carringtons, and informs Adam that she's willing to move back into the mansion. Adam beams happily and coos about how all of their dreams are all coming true.
The doctor tells Alexis and Prince Michael there's a chance that King Galen's paralysis might not be permanent, and that a risky surgery might possibly help him walk again. After he exits the room, Prince Michael thanks Alexis for rescuing his father and getting him the world's best medical care, and she says she mostly did it so that he and Amanda could be happy again. When Prince Michael says he's more than a little doubtful 'bout that, Alexis urges him to give his wife time and assures him that one day soon they'll be very happy together.
Claudia and Adam arrive at Carrington manor so she can make her grand reentrance as his new wife...and a few seconds later, the two run into a sulky-faced Steven. Adam needles him about congratulating the newest Mrs. Carrington, and Steven just mumbles that he's surprised she'd actually want to move back into this shitty mansion considering how much she seems to hate it [and Blake].
"Say hello to your new sister-in-law."
"Did you say sister-in-law or sloppy seconds?"
After some more smooching, George Hamilton tells Rita that if it makes her feel better, she should continue pretending to Blake that she's too under the weather to have sex. He then hands her a bottle of barbiturates to slip to Blake in the event that he gets amorous...which, ew. A few seconds later, Blake enters the room and is introduced to "Dr. Travers", who tells him that Rita/Krystle has a low grade infection and needs lots of rest. When Rita/Krystle exits the room to go talk to Mrs. Gunnerson, Dr. Travers tells Blake that, contrary to what he just said three seconds ago, his wife really doesn't need that much bed rest. He then offers to give Blake a physical if he ever needs one or wants a second opinion about anything, and Blake's like, "Sounds good, doctor."
Little Blake asks Steven if Krystle is mad at Blake...and Steven scrunches his face confusedly and says that to his knowledge, she still loves the old goat very much. Rita/Krystle suddenly appears in the doorway and tells Little Blake that Mrs. Gunnerson just made him a milkshake, and he reacts to that news by giving her an ack! look and fleeing the room. LOL. Steven asks if anything's wrong with the kid, and Rita/Krystle says she's noticed that he's been telling lots of fibs lately and hopes it's just a phase.
Alexis is being interviewed by World Finance reporter Gordon Wales, who peppers her with questions about her role in King Galen's rescue and whether or not it has anything to do with their previous romance. Alexis says she's a happily married woman, that her relationship with Galen is none of his business, and to get the hell out of her office.
Over in the Delta Rho attic, Krystle is making a weak attempt to pry off the boards that are nailed across the window. She stops when she hears someone coming...and a few seconds later, George Hamilton enters the room. He nods approvingly when he sees that she ate her dinner...and when she implores him to tell her the details about her ransom, he says that the less she knows 'bout that, the better. Krystle thanks him for the books he brought for her and says she could really use another reading lamp, and also wouldn't mind a television set. George Hamilton snarls, "You think you're so damn smart" and assumes she wants to watch the news to find out what's being reported about her disappearance. He warns her that there's no escape from this attic, but promises to consider bringing a TV next time he makes one of his creepy visits...and once he's out of earshot, Krystle continues to try loosening the window boards.
Blake tells Rita/Krystle that he really liked Dr. Travers, then gives her a big smooch before excusing himself to use the bathroom. Rita grabs the bottle of barbiturates and accidentally spills them all over the carpet, and is picking them up when Blake reenters the room and helps her with the task...and while he's not looking, she manages to slip a barbiturate into his nightcap. As the two climb into bed, Rita/Krystle looks alarmed when an aroused (ew) Blake starts caressing her arm, then relieved when his hand and penis suddenly go limp.
"I'm feeling a tad frisky tonight."
"It's nothing that this sleeping pill won't swiftly remedy."
King Galen clutches Alexis's hand and says that while he was imprisoned in Moldavia he was soooo afraid of never seeing her again. He curses the revolution and says if he were still king, he would have implored her to stay with him after the royal wedding. He then says he's willing to have the risky surgery in the hope that it'll relieve his paralysis so he can 1) get his country back, and 2) make her the most powerful woman in the world. Alexis perks up at that second thing...but when she asks him exactly what he means by that, his head flops against his pillow as he passes out. Alexis breathily repeats, "The most powerful woman in the world. How?" and looks intrigued by the notion while staring contemplatively into space.
- Published on
"Whaddya say we wrap up this quick rescue saga and hit the road?"
Original airdate: 11/20/1985
Episode summary: Dex rescues King Galen and smuggles him out of Moldavia. Amanda tells Prince Michael she wants to file for divorce. Fallon agrees to hit the sheets with Miles.
Miles tells a tearful Fallon to take it easy with her sudden panic attack, and assures her that they never have to go back to the Carrington mansion since it clearly causes her so much distress. Fallon wails, "What's wrooooong with me? Why can't I remember anything?" and says she's worried she may be losing her mind. Miles pulls the car over, quizzes her on his name, today's date, and their current location...and when she's able to answer everything correctly, he tells her it's proof that her brain hasn't gone completely wiener. He then says it's totes fine with him if she can't recall her past 'cause he's A-OK with them creating new memories...and when she looks as if she might be open to that prospect, he leans in for a smooch.
Duchess Elena surreptitiously drops by the convent to tell Alexis (who's still disguised as a nun) that she doesn't have any updates about Dex's predicament, and that all they can do is helplessly wait for any new developments. Alexis says she'd like her to arrange a meeting with one of the high-ranking revolutionaries, but Elena gasps and warns that that would be far too dangerous. Alexis wryly says she's used to dealing with dangerous men, then irritably wonders aloud if she should even be trusting her...and Elena reminds her that she periodically drops by the convent despite the great danger, even after she (Alexis) bought Prince Michael so that her spoiled daughter could marry into royalty. Alexis denies buying the pissy prince and insists that it was a marriage based on love, and Elena's all, "Whatever" and angrily storms out of the room.
"You stole Prince Michael from me!"
"I'm pretty sure Amanda would happily give him back to you."
Blake pulls Rita/Krystle aside and says he's worried that Jeff is headed for a nervous breakdown after his Fallon sighting and would appreciate it if she could talk some sense into him about getting over his ex-wife/late fiancee and moving on with his life. Rita/Krystle looks alarmed at the prospect and says she'd much prefer it if Jeff sorted through his own personal problems - but Blake says he'd really really appreciate it if she interjected herself into the situation and at least had a conversation with him.
George Hamilton unties Krystle and rips off the tape he placed over her mouth and says he's sorry for restraining her, but not really 'cause she deserved it after getting so out of control. Krystle tearfully says that before she was abducted she remembers she was at Delta Rho, saw her doppelganger, and then got hit over the head - but George Hamilton's like, "No, no.." and tries to convince her she fell, accidentally hit her head, and is now being held by him for ransom far far away from Delta Rho. Krystle's like, "Dude, that version of events makes zero sense" [oh sorry...that was me, projecting], then tells him he won't get away with committing this kidnapping without paying. George Hamilton gets a strange, faraway look in his eyes and replies, "How wrong you are. Blake will pay", which prompts Krystle to stare concernedly into space.
While on the road, Miles and Fallon stop at a restaurant to get a bite to eat. She apologizes for having such an overly dramatic reaction to being outside Carrington manor and preventing him from attending the party, then says that he deserves better than to be hanging out with a loose canon who has amnesia. She adds that there was something about being in Denver that gave her her the heebie jeebies and that she wants to return to Los Angeles asap 'cause she's more than ready to move forward and throw in the towel on trying to figure out her identity.
Jeff insists to Rita/Krystle that he saw Fallon this evening, and she just stares back at him with mute cluelessness.
As the party begins to wind down, Garrett offers to give Dominique a lift to the La Mirage, but she declines...and also declines to meet up with him at the hotel bar to catch up. She tells him it's too late to revive their twenty year old affair, firmly says, "Goodnight and goodbye", and flounces up the stairs.
A mopish Amanda is sitting in her bedroom, staring at her reflection in a small mirror when Dominique pops in to say goodnight. When she notices Amanda's sour expression and asks whassup, Amanda replies, "Nothing that a divorce won't cure." Dominique's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and urges her to stick it out with her tiny prince and try to work things out - but Amanda tells her that the fairy tale/princess wedding/happily ever after storyline that the writers forcibly squeezed into the final few episodes of Season 5 before unleashing a massacre on much of the cast was, in hindsight, a huge mistake...and that she somehow thought she could be happy with a man she foolishly rushed headfirst into an ill-thought-out marriage with. Dominique reminds her that just a couple of months ago she had vowed to love Prince Michael forever, then says when one finds love, one must cherish and nurture it 'cause if it's lost it may never be found again. She adds, "And I really know what I'm talking about" while staring contemplatively into space...and Amanda refrains from turning the conversation back to her dysfunctional marriage and insisting that she's more than ready to kick her shitty little husband to the curb.
"Don't be so quick to squander the opportunity to reunite with a man you were deeply in love with twenty years ago.”
"Is she still talking to me?"
Back at Carrington manor, Sammy Jo is noshing on leftovers when she runs into Steven, who scowls at her and demands to know why she's been buzzing around Krystle so much lately instead of spending quality time with their son. He adds that he finds it so puzzling and unusual that he's going to spare no effort in getting to the bottom of it...and as he bitchily storms off, Sammy Jo stares after him worriedly.
Sammy Jo tells Rita that Steven is starting to get suspicious about the two of them suddenly behaving like they're besties, and that she'd like to get access to her inheritance so they can end this ridiculous Krystle/doppelganger charade asap. Rita says that she, on the other hand, is far more concerned about having to hit the sack with Blake and risking him figuring out that she's not his "beloved Krystle" - just as Little Blake appears in the doorway and stares at her suspiciously. Rita shoots him a phoney smile and offers to tuck him in, but he's like, "Ack!" and runs off down the hall...and Rita rolls her eyes and tells Sammy Jo that the bowl-shaped hairdo kid gives her the creeps. A few seconds later, Blake enters the room to praise her for doing such an excellent job charming the Colbys. He remarks that she looks like she's feeling a lot better and that it's time for bed (ew), and Rita/Krystle shoots Sammy Jo a fuuuuuuuck look which I translated to mean that sooner or later she's going to have to endure the ordeal of getting bedded by the old goat, so it may as well be tonight.
Claudia is penning her resignation letter from La Mirage when Prince Michael enters the office. He looks taken aback when she presents him with the letter and says he'd really really like it if she stayed on as Executive Vice President. Claudia's like, "Nope" and says she's sick of working for Blake, who has a dickish tendency to screw people over once they've fallen out of favor.
Dominique returns to her La Mirage suite to find Garrett sitting on a sofa chair, sipping a glass of champagne. She glares at him and says she hates surprises and asks him to leave, but he refuses and tells her they have too much bottled up from the last twenty years to just go their separate ways. They bicker about their boring affair...blah blah...until he leans in and gives her a big smooch - and she sort of looks into it for a few seconds, but then pushes him away and threatens to call security. Garrett takes the receiver out of her hand and hangs it up, apologizes for bothering her, then heads toward the door while mumbling, "You probably haven't thought about me in twenty years." Once he's safely out of earshot, Dominique wistfully replies, "Oh, if only you knew" then places a call to a finishing school in Switzerland and asks to speak to the head mistress...and I can only assume that this is the genesis of yet another 'secretly birthed baby many years ago' storyline.
Dex is somehow able to carry King Galen out of the prison, off the palace grounds, and unseen across the countryside to the convent that Alexis has been hiding out in. LOL. He's greeted by his overjoyed wife, and gazes at her lovingly and schmaltzily says he didn't know if he'd ever be able to look into her beautiful eyes again. As the two urgently smooch, King Galen moans in distress...and Alexis breaks away from Dex and hovers over him concernedly as Dex clucks sympathetically and says he clearly hasn't received any medical attention since the massacre. Alexis wails, "We have to get him to a doctor!", but Dex says there's no time - no time! - 'cause they really need to get him out of his horrible country pronto.
[moan, groan]
"Looks like the sight of our canoodling is making Galen sicker."
Jeff continues to mope about his Fallon sighting...but while flashing back to it, he somehow recalls that the car she climbed into had a California license plate on it. Jeff perks up at that revelation and mutters, "Miles..?" and wonders aloud if the man she was with last night could possibly have been Miles Colby.
Miles and Fallon check into a cheap motel with only one room available...and that has only one bed. Mmm hmm.. Miles gazes at her longingly and says he won't push her into anything sexual, but that if she's interested he'd really really like for them to be knocking boots. Fallon blushingly admits that she's been tempted to hit the sheets with him on more than one occasion, but stopped herself 'cause she was afraid of getting involved...but suddenly no longer feels afraid. Miles takes this as permission to proceed with some much awaited foreplay and plants her lips with a giant smooch.
"I wouldn't mind getting it on with you tonight."
"I guess I'm past the point of being able to put it off for much longer."
When Adam returns to La Mirage, Claudia chides him for not storming out of the party with her following her argument with Blake, so he explains that it was important for him to schmooze with the other partygoers in order to protect their business interests. Claudia mulls that over, decides she accepts that excuse, and gives him a long kissy hug.
When Rita/Krystle finally enters the bedroom, Blake says he's been waiting for a loooong time for her to finally come to bed...so she explains that she was talking to Jeff, who has decided to move to California after all. Blake smiles with delight and calls her "a miracle worker" and gives her a long kiss - but she pulls away and says her headache has suddenly resurfaced. A miffed looking Blake theorizes that Sammy Jo's presence in the mansion is probably what's causing her stress headache, and Rita/Krystle admonishes him for disparaging her only living blood relative. Blake says that if she keeps using a headache as an excuse to avoid her wifely duties she's going to have to see a doctor, and Rita/Krystle bitchily tells him to stop harping on her damn headache and shuts off the light.
"I wouldn't mind getting it on with you tonight."
"I guess I'm past the point of being able to put it off for much longer."
Blake finds Jeff milling around the mansion at 4am and asks him what he's doing up at this hour, and Jeff says he's planning to catch the first flight to Los Angeles to continue his search for Fallon 'cause he's newly convinced that she somehow hooked up with Miles Colby. Blake says he remains skeptical about all of this and doesn't believe that Fallon would have fled from the mansion - but Jeff insists that he found Fallon tonight, and that when he finally tracks her down, he's never letting her out of his sight again.
Meanwhile, at the Super 8 Motel, Fallon and Miles are entwined in each other's arms, urgently getting it on.
- Published on
Yep, this is pretty much what it looks like
Original airdate: 11/13/1985
Episode summary: Blake and Charlton Heston announce the launch of their pipeline project. Rita begins impersonating Krystle. Fallon freaks out at the sight of Carrington manor.
Blake is on the phone with Charlton Heston, and both men seem delighted about the new partnership. Blake insists that he be the one to make the formal announcement about the pipeline at a big shindig he'll host in Denver...and Charlton Heston makes it clear that while he isn't pleased about not being able to do that on his own territory, he's willing to easily give in and fly his brood to Colorado for the event. After the call, Barbara Stanwyck chides her brother for putting himself through the strain of such a big trip and advises him to instead spend his dying days seeing doctors and getting more tests done. He points out that everyone dies eventually, and that the pipeline project is waaaay more important than his mortality...and adds that working on something new and exciting makes him feel most alive. When Barbara Stanwyck tears up, he tells her not to be sad and just let him enjoy whatever time he has left.
Blake calls Alexis to invite her to the shindig, but she declines and says she has a previous engagement she can't break. When Dex enters her office, overhears the tail end of the conversation and asks whassup with her declining Blake's invitation, she explains that the shindig conflicts with their impending rescue mission in Moldavia. Dex offers to perform the rescue alone, but she refuses to be left behind and promises to keep mum about their plans.
Over in Los Angeles, Miles is trying to get a hold of Fallon, and gets alarmed when he learns that she checked out of her hotel. A few seconds later, his twin sister Monica enters the room and informs him that their father expects them both in attendance at a big Denver party - but Miles shakes his head and says he has far more important things to do. Monica rolls her eyes and asks, "That girl again?", and Miles says that if by that girl she means the hot looking woman he's been helping out of the kindness of his heart and who can't remember who she is or where she came from, then yes. Monica asks him if he's absolutely sure that her amnesia isn't some sort of scam, and he insists it's real and that he really really wants this budding friendship to blossom into a full on romance. Monica says she understands and will do her best to explain to their father why he's not at the Denver party, then warns him that it might be tough for him to get out of 'cause for some reason it seemed to be extremely important to him that the entire family be in attendance.
Blake tells Jeff that he convinced Charlton Heston to agree to have the pipeline project announcement party in Denver, then says he'd like to do something to memorialize Fallon...specifically donate $1 million to the local hospital so they can build a new paediatrics wing and name it after her. Jeff scrunches his face disapprovingly and says he hates the idea, just as he hates the way everyone assumes that Fallon is dead and gone. He makes it clear that he's still not convinced she's dead, then angrily storms out of the room.
Fallon is about to board a Phoenix-bound bus when Miles rushes over and tells her he had a hunch she'd try to flee Los Angeles without so much as a goodbye. He implores her to not leave, then invites her to come to a party in Denver with him and proposes he drive them there in his fancy Italian sports car. Fallon and says she couldn't possibly accept his offer, and reminds him for the umpteenth time that she has no idea who she is (a criminal possibly?) - but Miles insists that he really really likes helping her and that being with her makes him feel good, and that he has nothing better to do than drive her to Phoenix if she truly has her heart set on going there.
"I was hoping to slip out of Los Angeles without you noticing."
"I will take that to mean you're up for a long road trip with me."
Up in the Delta Rho attic, a bound and blindfolded Krystle wakes up and moans, "Oh God, what is happening?!" She senses someone in the room with her and cries, "Who's there?", and George Hamilton tells her she had an accident, and that she shouldn't waste her time struggling against the ropes 'cause escape is futile. She asks him if she can have some water, so he briefly exits the room to bring her a little styrofoam cup filled with water...and when he returns and unties her hands, she removes her blindfold, stares at him in shock and exclaims, "You..?!" and says she recalls seeing him in Sammy Jo's building and later in downtown Denver. An alarmed George Hamilton tells her she should not have removed her blindfold, then glares at her as he ominously adds, "That was a mistake. A big mistake."
Jeff tells Blake he just got an improbable tip that a bus station clerk in Los Angeles spotted Fallon buying a ticket for Phoenix, and asks for permission to borrow the company jet so he can fly to Arizona and launch yet another Fallon search. Blake says he remains skeptical that his daughter is alive, and reminds Jeff that Fallon's jewelry was found in the wreckage of the plane most everyone assumes she was on when it crashed. Jeff says believes she's still alive and insists on keeping his never ending searches going, and Blake gives him permission to use the jet and offers to accompany him to Phoenix.
As Rita and Sammy Jo arrive at Carrington manor, Gerard informs Rita/Krystle that Blake has jetted off to Phoenix for the day, but will be home later. She's like, "Uh, thank you" and Sammy Jo adds, "Thank you Gerard." A few seconds later, Mrs. Gunnerson rushes over to tell Rita/Krystle that Blake is throwing a giant party next week for two hundred guests and they have to make a firm decision on the decadent type of rich people food that they'll be serving. When she lists a few fancy sounding options, Rita/Krystle stares back at her cluelessly, and Sammy Jo snappishly interjects that says they don't have time for that right now 'cause they're on their way up to the nursery to visit Danny. She then tells Rita that she's inviting herself to stay for dinner 'cause in order to get through the evening without a hitch, she's going to need all the help she can get.
"The market is fresh out of Wagyu beef for the upcoming party. Would you consent to serving JamĂłn Iberico de Bellota to your guests instead?"
"Sounds yums."
Amanda arrives at the penthouse and tells Dex she just heard that he and Alexis declined Blake's party invitation, and he nods and says they both have more important things to do that night. Amanda's all, "But it's the social event of the season!", then gasps and correctly guesses they won't be attending 'cause they'll be too busy sneaking into Moldavia to attempt a rescue of Galen. Dex admits that, yep, that's the plan all right, then swears her to secrecy. Amanda moans, "It could get you killed" then presses herself against him concernedly - just as Prince Michael enters the room and witnesses the tender moment. He sarcastically asks his wife if anything is wrong, and she sheepishly says no and trails behind him out of the room...and as she's doing that, she turns around to shoot one last longing stare at Dex.
Sammy Jo urges Rita to try on some of Krystle's favorite outfits, and Rita suddenly scrunches her face worriedly and asks if she's actually going to be able to pull this off...and by pull this off, she means fool old goat daddy in bed. Sammy Jo grins devilishly at that disturbing visual and gives Rita some woefully outdated sex advice: "It's like dancing. You don't lead, you follow."
"How'm ahh evuh gonna fool Blake in the sack?"
"By keeping in mind that all cats are the same in the dark."
Sable is taking a sexy bubble bath when she decides to pick up the phone to call [her cousin] Alexis, who's in the middle of getting a massage. Sable asks her if the entire Carrington clan is going to be at Blake's party, e.g. Amanda and the prince...and Alexis wryly retorts, "He's a king, technically" and says that she won't be able to make it 'cause of a prior engagement. After the call, Sable climbs out of the tub, gets leered at by Charlton Heston, and drops her towel so the two can indulge in some steamy, middle-aged marital sex.
Over at Carrington manor, Rita/Krystle and Sammy Jo greet Amanda and Prince Michael for pre-dinner drinks. Rita/Krystle compliments Amanda's suit and pretty necklace, and Amanda gives her a funny look and reminds her that she and Blake bought the necklace for her as a wedding gift. Steven enters the room, looks miffed by the sight of Sammy Jo, and orders her to leave the mansion this minute. Rita/Krystle points out that she's Danny's bio mom and also an invited guest, and would like everyone to treat everyone well in this house. A few seconds later, Blake enters the room, gives Rita/Krystle a kiss, and accepts her offer to fix him a drink.
Back inside the Delta Rho attic, Krystle is uselessly banging on the attic door while crying helplessly.
Blake tells Rita/Krystle he wants the party to be a great success so he can impress the Colby clan. Rita/Krystle twitches nervously at the prospect of getting through the social engagement without anyone figuring out she's an imposter and says she'd like to invite Sammy Jo to stay at the mansion indefinitely. Blake says he's not thrilled with the idea and points out that it's really going to piss Steven off - but when Rita/Krystle says it's very very important to her, Blake easily caves and quips about how she has him wrapped around her little finger. He then remarks that she's been acting kinda weird tonight, and she explains that she's feeling off tonight 'cause she has a splitting headache.
George Hamilton enters the attic and chides Krystle for not eating her dinner. She begs him to let her go, but he says he can't do that and urges her to at least drink her milk...then gets a strange look on his darkly tanned face as he tells her his mother used to say that nothing was more nourishing than milk. A weirded out Krystle asks him who her doppelganger is and if she's being held here for ransom, but he pretends to have no idea what she's talking about, hands her a black shawl to wear, and spacily assures her that everything will seem a lot brighter in the morning.
Dex and Alexis are on a plane, en route to Moldavia. As he obsessively cleans his handgun, Alexis remarks on how she's feeling an emotion she doesn't usually experience: fear. Dex says he's going to take the opportunity of them facing possible death to get the truth out of her, then pointedly asks her if she's still in love with Galen. Alexis rolls her eyes and moans, "Oh God.." and insists that he (Dex) is the only man she loves. She then saucily suggests they enjoy the free time they have left, and strips off her clothes so they can indulge in a mile high romp.
Prince Michael informs Amanda that he'd like to spend the afternoon with her getting reacquainted. Amanda's like, "I've been saying for weeks we need to do that", and he perks up at that and says he wants to feel close to her again, then leans towards her for a kiss. She shoves him away and says she isn't able to explain what's currently troubling her...and Prince Michael assumes she's hung up on Dex, then roughly pushes her atop the bed to make clear that he's totes up for the kind of forcible marital sex that the Dynasty writers seemed to like defaulting to whenever a warring couple engages in a fierce argument. When she yells, "Nooooo!! Not like this!!", he bellows, "You are my wife!" - but she's able to easily push the tiny prince off of her and flee the room.
Jeff tattles to Blake about how Adam didn't actually go to the San Francisco refinery to check on a problem - just as Amanda enters the office to request a one-on-one with her father. Once Jeff is out of earshot, she tells Blake she can't stand being married to Prince Michael for another minute and would like to file for divorce asap. Blake scrunches his wrinkly face disapprovingly and says he wasn't thrilled about her jumping into marriage with a guy she barely knew, and is even less thrilled about her getting a quickie divorce. She explains that she's tried her hardest to make the marriage work - but is ready to throw in the towel, given that he continually treats her like garbage. Blake ignores that last thing and urges her to hold off on making any divorce plans 'cause he suddenly got a brilliant idea.
"I want to divorce Michael because he's a shitty husband who treats me horribly."
"I do not accept that excuse."
Dex, Sister Theresa, and Alexis (who's disguised as a nun) are speeding by jeep towards the Moldavian border. They go over their cover story one last time - the two nuns needed a ride to their convent in Dex's jeep (which seems like a ridiculously flimsy cover story, but OK) - as they arrive at the checkpoint. The armed soldiers look them over suspiciously, confer with each other for a few seconds, then demand that Dex get out of the jeep. A soldier then jumps into the driver's seat and tells the nuns he'll transport them to the convent, and Alexis stares worriedly at the now detained Dex.
Dex is hauled into the office of Moldavia's Interior Minister, who demands to know why he was sneaking across the border. Dex tells him some nonsense about wanting to discuss trade agreements - but the Minister doesn't buy it, demands to know who he's working for, and threatens to burn him with his cigar. Dex yells, "Nooooo!!" as he struggles with the guards restraining him, and the Minister says he's ordering him to be locked away in a dungeon cell until such time as he's ready to tell the truth.
Adam and Claudia return to the La Mirage for the first time since marrying and do the annoying TV tropey thing of lovingly calling each other Mr. and Mrs. Carrington. Adam demands that she profess how much she looooves him 'cause of how much he looooves her, and she assures him that she looooves him with all her heart and then some. He nods approvingly and tells her to pack up her bags and move [back] into Carrington manor while he heads over to Denver Carrington to inform Blake about their quickie wedding.
In the next scene, Blake is glaring at Adam and calling him out on his lie about checking on a refinery, and snarks that the only reason he travelled to San Francisco was to be with Claudia after promising to stay away from her. He snaps, "I don't tolerate lies from anyone. Is that understood?" then informs Adam that he went to the trouble of rewriting his will and left him an inheritance of one dollar until he proves he can be trusted. Adam's all, "The fuck?" and accuses Blake of manipulating his own family members with money, and Blake says he's in no position to accuse him of anything, given that he just betrayed his trust. Adam says he has no intention of grovelling just to be re-included in the will and storms out of the office.
"Have I ever told you what a manipulative asshole I think you are?"
"For that outburst, I'm reducing your inheritance to 50 cents."
Jeff and Little Blake enter the sitting room Rita/Krystle is lounging in. Jeff tells her he's planning on leaving his son behind in Denver while he goes to California to get settled. She makes a face and says the kid would be better off going with him...and when Jeff gives her a funny look in response, she hastily explains that she only said that 'cause he's such a great dad. Jeff says he's confident that he's leaving his son in good hands, and she pretends to not have a problem with the bowl-shaped hairdo kid being forcibly dumped on her.
In the Moldavian convent, Sister Theresa tells Alexis that the loyalists hope to restore the country's monarchy soon - just as Duchess Elena breezes into the room. When a confused Alexis asks what in blazes that traitor is doing here, Sister Theresa explains that she's a friend to the loyalists' movement and is here at great risk to her personal safety. Elena explains to Alexis that she had no idea at the time of the massacre that her father was behind the revolution, and is now doing everything she can to save King Galen, who's being kept prisoner by Yuri. Alexis asks her if she knows whether or not Dex is alive, and Elena comfortingly holds Alexis's hand and tell her she has no idea.
Prince Michael greets the Colby clan when they and their mountain of luggage arrive at La Mirage. Charlton Heston introduces his brood to Michael, including his lawyer and personal friend, Garrett Boydston.
Steven scrunches his face disapprovingly when Sammy Jo flounces into Carrington manor with her luggage in tow. She reminds him that her Aunt Krystle invited her to stay, then mockingly asks him if he's afraid she'll once again seduce him. He responds by shooting her a stony glare before stalking out of the vestibule.
Steven storms over to the study, where Rita/Krystle is staring at a framed photo of Krystle. He asks her if it's really true that Sammy Jo is moving in, and Rita/Krystle says she is and that it'll be good for Danny. When she insists that her niece has changed, Steven retorts that he's not entirely sure 'bout that...but snarks that she (Rita/Krystle) certainly has.
While lunching at La Mirage, Blake suggests they put off announcing a start date for the pipeline project and cites price wars and an oil glut. Charlton Heston disagrees with that approach and says he wants to set a date and get started building the pipeline asap.
Later, Blake tells Rita/Krystle it's time for them to get dressed for the party, and she tells him she's very nervous 'cause she knows how important tonight is to him. He assures her she'll do fine, gushes about how much he looooves her, then presents her with an extravagantly glittery diamond necklace. She gasps and exclaims, "Gawd it's fantaaaaastic!" in her "native" southern accent, and Blake just kind of smiles perplexedly at that weirdness as she catches herself and calmly tells him it's beautiful.
"Ow maaah gawd, it's gorge!"
"Are you OK? You seemed like an entirely different person just now."
Party time! As the Colbys and Carringtons schmooze and mingle, Dominque arrives at the mansion in a poofy metallic gown, looks stunned by the sight of Garrett Boydston (who's talking to Blake and the Colbys), and ambles over. Blake introduces her to the Colby brood...and when he introduces her to Garrett, she says they already know each other and adds, "Our paths have crossed."
Sable tells Rita/Krystle that the party is lovely and tries to engage her in a conversation about fine art, but Rita/Krystle gets flustered by her lack of expertise and quickly changes the subject. Claudia notices Steven mope over to the study, so she follows him and reminds him that they can still be friends despite her decision to marry his psychotic brother. Steven's like, "Uh, wrong" and reminds her that she had told him she was going to San Francisco to be alone, but instead married Adam...and now feels manipulated by the lie. Claudia insists that she and Adam are in love, accuses him of being jealous, and snaps, "I have Adam. Who do you have?" Ouch. Steven stares back at her with a stricken expression, then turns and dejectedly shuffles out of the room.
Steven returns to Luke's vacant apartment, stares longingly at a framed photo of Luke, and has a flashback of the two of them in Moldavia, discussing their plans to move in together after the royal wedding. When he snaps out of his reverie, he angrily throws a lamp onto the floor.
Alexis and Sister Theresa are called out to the convent lobby to be questioned by the revolutionary guards, who are searching for the American woman they suspect sneaked across the border in tandem with Dex. Alexis pretends she's a French nun and is able to answer back in French to simple questions like, "What is your name?" and "What order are you from?" ... and that seems to be enough to satisfy the guards, who are like, "Drats. We're looking for Dex's American wife, and we're fully convinced that this nun is French." LOL.
"Je m'appelle not Alexis Colby."
"Yep, we're convinced of her Frenchness. Let's go check out the other convents."
Prince Michael tells Amanda he just got word from his contacts in Moldavia that Alexis and Dex sneaked into the country, and that Dex has been captured. Amanda clutches her chest and mumbles, "I knew it wouldn't work", and Prince Michael's all, "Say wuh? You knew?!" She tells him she wanted to tell him about the rescue mission, but was sworn to secrecy by Dex...and Prince Michael says he's furious with her for keeping this information from him, accuses her of being in love with Dex, and bitchily storms out of the room.
"I can only hope that my past lover makes it through this mission in one piece."
"I'm getting the strong sense that the man is more than just your step-daddy."
Dex is being chained to the wall in his dungeon cell, then shrieks in torment when the guards start lightly torturing him. Noooooo!!
Alexis is praying in the convent chapel, openly regretting the way she's wasted her life indulging in self-serving pursuits. She begs God to pleeeeeeease keep Galen be safe...and, oh yeah, also let Dex make it through this rescue mission alive.
At the party, Jeff chats up Monica Colby, and the two talk about old times (aka, growing up together in California). She tells him that Miles has a new lady love and that the two should be arriving any second now for a dramatic reveal.
Miles and Fallon have just crossed the Denver city limits and are speeding towards Carrington manor.
Claudia pulls Blake aside to tell him how miffed at him she is for appointing Prince Michael as the new overlord of La Mirage. Blake just shrugs and says he was going to tell her all about it, but wasn't able to 'cause she was on an unexpected honeymoon. Claudia snappishly says she's not OK with being treated like this, then storms out of the room and over to Adam to order him to take her home. He stares back at her in puzzlement and says, "Uh, this is home", and she's like, "Fine. I'll leave by myself then!" and heads for the front door.
Blake tells Charlton Heston that he just got a cable from the Chinese, requesting confirmation of his ability to transport the oil that's being drilled...and translates this to mean that the Chinese have doubts that Colby Enterprises owns enough tankers to get the job done. He accuses Charlton Heston of bluffing his way through this deal, and Charlton Heston denies that and says if he wants out to just say so. Blake mulls that over, decides 'ah fuck it' and says he'll move ahead with making the announcement about the pipeline project after all.
Krystle puts a makeshift dummy in her mattress bed when she hears George Hamilton approach the attic door. He enters the room, looks suspicious at the sight of the lumpy bedding, and quickly spots Krystle standing behind the door clutching something in her hand to strike him with. He grabs her by the neck and subdues her by choking her for a few seconds, then releases her before turning around and silently stalking out of the room. He's definitely one weird guy.
Blake announces the imminent launch of the pipeline project and calls it "a proud moment" for both companies, and the party guests clap heartily as Charlton Heston concurs and makes a toast. After that, Blake invites Barbara Stanwyck to dance, and the two reminisce about old times - until Blake stiffens when she makes mention of his brother, Ben Carrington.
Jeff stares forlornly around the room at all the in-love looking couples he's surrounded by, then quietly ambles out of the room. Blake notices, follows him out, and finds him in one of the sitting rooms, staring at a framed photo of Fallon and murmuring, "I love you, Fallon. I always have and I always will." Blake chides him for refusing to move on with his life - but Jeff says he's now in full agreement that Fallon is gone and never coming back. A few seconds later, he peers out the window and sees that Miles and his lady friend have arrived...then squints his eyes disbelievingly and gasps when the lady friend appears to be Fallon. He cries, "OMG! It's Fallon!!" and rushes past Blake to run towards the front door. As that's happening, Fallon stares up at the mansion, gets a bad vibe, and shrieks, "I can't go in there!" and Miles just kind of shrugs and goes, "OK, I guess we're leaving now" - LOL - and the two drive off just as Jeff bursts out of the house and stares hopelessly at the departing Italian sports car.
- Published on
"If you really loved me, you'd risk your life to rescue my ex-boyfriend."
Original airdate: 10/30/1985
Episode summary: Dex finally agrees to help Alexis rescue Galen from Moldavia. Adam convinces Claudia to marry him aboard a ship. Krystle encounters Rita at Delta Rho.
At the newly renovated Delta Rho, George Hamilton continues to coach Rita on how to walk, act, and enunciate as much like Krystle as possible. He says he's going to get some more current footage of Krystle so that they can more closely study her mannerisms and give him the opportunity to direct this project as masterfully as he possibly can.
Alexis is breakfasting in bed with her adorable Shih Tzu when Dex enters the room dressed in a work shirt and his usual mom jeans. He asks her if this is her idea of a marriage, this meaning living separate lives and sleeping in separate beds. She mulls that over and chides him for getting his panties in a twist whenever she doesn't feel like obeying his edicts...and he admits that, yeah, he's prone to acting like a chauvinistic dickwad whenever he doesn't get his way, but that he has a huge problem with the fact that she's been so preoccupied with a [possibly] dead king and a dead country. Alexis breathily retorts that Galen was the first man she ever cared about and that she strongly believes he's still alive, and Dex is like, "I'm alive and I love you" and says he didn't sleep very well last night 'cause he would have preferred to be in bed with her, spooning. Alexis promises to put more of an effort into their marriage, and Dex beams happily and says that he too will try harder, then heads off for a day laboring in an oil field, rig, or wherever he goes to mix with the common working man. A few seconds later, Alexis's Asian manservant Lin informs her that a nun named Sister Theresa awaits her for a one-on-one in the living room.
Sister Theresa hands Alexis a letter and urges her to read it, and after Alexis looks it over, she's like, "OMG! I was right! King Galen is alive!" Sister Theresa solemnly says that the revolutionaries are keeping him alive 'cause he's still useful to them, then adds that there's a faction of Moldavian patriots (such as herself) who remain loyal to the king no matter the cost. And speaking of cost, she tells Alexis that the man who wrote the note can be bribed to the tune of $10 million to get Galen released, and Alexis says she's more than willing to pay that price if it means saving her beloved ex's life.
"I remain loyal to the King at any cost...whose rescue, by the way, is going to run you $10 million."
"Sold!"
Alexis heads over to Denver Carrington to show Blake the letter Sister Theresa gave her, calls it proof that Galen is alive, and implores him to help with the rescue. Blake argues that it's not proof of anything, and that they still have no real idea if Galen is dead, alive or critically injured...and worries that they could lose $10 million if, for whatever reason, Galen isn't handed over in exchange for the cash. He adds that he also can't risk the lives of the rescuers, and therefore is turning her down flat. A dispirited Alexis storms out of the office - just as Jeff arrives to inform Blake that he's moving to Los Angeles to co-run Colby Enterprises with Charlton Heston. When Blake's all, "Wha-a-a?", Jeff explains that Barbara Stanwyck gave him all of her company shares and the exciting opportunity to relocate to California. Blake says that while he'll miss him, he's pleased that there'll be someone on the inside at Colby Enterprises he can trust, then tells him about the pipeline deal that Charlton Heston proposed and how dependent he is on Colby Enterprise's tankers to get his oil out of the South China Sea. He then decides 'ah, fuck it' and gets on the phone with Charlton Heston to tell him they have a deal.
Alexis summons Prince Michael to the penthouse to discuss the King Galen situation. She shows him the letter she received from Sister Theresa and asks him to share any underground Moldavian contacts he may have so that she can join forces with them in putting together a rescue mission. Prince Michael says he knows the person who wrote the letter, doesn't trust him, and that he's working on an alternate rescue plan that doesn't play into the hands of the revolutionaries.
Sammy Jo is lunching with Krystle at La Mirage and laying it on thick about how much she owes her, and how she can never repay her for all she's done. Krystle says that their renewed friendship and seeing her [pretending to be] so happy is thanks enough. When they finish their lunch, Sammy Jo offers to walk her to her car...and as the two stroll towards the parking lot, George Hamilton hides in the nearby foliage and videotapes them.
Jeff tells Little Blake about all the fun stuff they'll be able to do together in Los Angeles, and that he'll send for him just as soon as he finds them a suitable mansion to live in.
Miles and a mopish looking Fallon are seated at the bar of a restaurant. He tries to cheer her up by offering her nuts, pretzels, or an olive from his Martini...then queries, "Marriage?" Fallon gives him a seriously? look and asks him if he's always so casual about uttering marriage proposals, and he tells her he's never proposed to anyone before 'cause he's never felt so strongly about a woman until now. Fallon points out that she still has no idea who she is or where she came from, but he just shrugs unconcernedly and says that none of that matters to him...and she somehow refrains from coming right out and telling him that she has zero desire to shackle herself in matrimony to a vapid bonehead she met just four episodes ago.
"Nuts? Pretzel? Olive? Marriage?"
"No, no, no, and definitely no."
Adam and Claudia are ambling around a carnival in San Francisco when Claudia notices that a strange looking man wearing a scarf is following them. Adam breezily assures her it's nothing to worry about and suggests they lose him by boarding a fabulous ship and enjoying a lovely ocean ride.
A bummed looking Amanda is on her way to La Mirage to play tennis when she encounters Prince Michael in the hall. He apologizes for not wanting to hit the sheets with her last night and explains that he's focusing all of his energy on saving his people from the revolutionaries. She says she wants to help him and share in what he's currently going through, but he just shrugs uselessly and mumbles another half-hearted apology. Amanda rolls her eyes, tells him to let her know when he's interested in actually being in a marriage, and flounces off.
"Gimme a call when you're ready to put out."
"I will put out when you can summon me to your bedchamber in a manner that befits the future Queen of Moldavia."
Adam and Claudia are enjoying their ride aboard the ship when the scarfed man slowly approaches them. Claudia's all, "Ack!" and tells Adam she's frightened - just as the man asks Adam if he's ready. Adam replies that he is, but isn't sure about the lady...and when Claudia's all, "Wuh?" the man removes his scarf and reveals a clergy collar, and informs her that he's here at the request of Adam to marry the two of them. Adam coos at Claudia about how badly he wants to wed her on this ship of dreams, then presents her with a ginormous diamond ring. She gazes appreciatively at the rock, then happily squeals, "Yes! I'll marry you!" and gives Adam a big smooch.
"Surprise! You're having a quickie wedding!"
"I do!"
- They'll arrive at the upcoming charity ball in a limo with dark tinted windows, and Rita will be in the back seat dressed in the same outfit as what Krystle will be wearing
- Sammy Jo will lure Krystle outside the venue and then into the limo
- George Hamilton will render her unconscious with chloroform
- Rita will replace Krystle at the charity ball, go "home" afterwards with Blake (ew), and begin her new life as the old goat's trophy wife
Sammy Jo is in a high-end boutique, imploring the store's dressmaker (Beaumont) to duplicate the dress Krystle is planning to wear to the upcoming charity ball. He tells her he can't do that 'cause he's still not over the trauma of Krystle and Alexis showing up at the same function decked out in the exact same gown. Sammy Jo says that the gown is for a friend who lives in New York and who just happens to be the exact same size and height as Krystle - just as Krystle suddenly enters the room and asks whassup. Sammy Jo's all, "Ack!" and tells her she was just asking Beaumont to duplicate her charity ball gown for her to wear 'cause she loves her color choices and sense of style soooo much...and as Beaumont scrunches his face confusedly, Krystle tells Sammy Jo she's flattered by the compliment, but thinks that this particular dress would be all wrong for her, then quickly adds that she'll no doubt look stunning in whatever she chooses to wear.
At Carrington manor, Jeff is staring at the Fallon portrait when Dominique enters the room and congratulates him on his impending move to Los Angeles. Jeff tells her he's excited to relocate to Los Angeles, where a police detective IDed Fallon's photograph. Dominque rolls her eyes and calls the futile search "a fool's errand", but Jeff's just like 'whatever' and insists that if Fallon is in California, he'll find her.
Miles and Fallon are browsing in an antique shop, and Fallon seems particularly intrigued by a toy carousel. Miles offers to buy it for her...and while he heads over to the cashier to pay for it, she has an edited flashback of when she/Pamela Sue Martin once rode a carousel with Jeff and got a headache 'cause of her cracked skull injury. When Miles asks her whassup with her ashen expression, she irritably says she doesn't want the carousel, then rails about how sick and tired she is of not knowing who she is and that all she knows about herself is that she may have grown up near mountains. Miles just shrugs disinterested at her amnesia distress and says that all he cares about is that she's a bright, wonderful woman, then unhelpfully vows to never ever let her go.
Alexis is packing for Moldavia when Dex arrives home. He warns her that if she insists on going to Moldavia she could end up dead, then points out that if Galen is dead, she will have risked her life for no reason. Alexis says she's willing to take that risk...and Dex says she's going to need someone on the rescue mission who knows what the hell he's doing, and that since she's the most important person in the world to him, he's decided to capitulate and go with her. As she woots happily, he warns that she's going to have to do things his way, and she happily promises he'll get no argument from her, then gives him a grateful smooch.
Krystle tells Blake she's off to Delta Rho with her charity ball dress so that Sammy Jo can try it on...and if she likes it enough, she (Krystle) will ask Beaumont to replicate it in Sammy Jo's size and send her the bill. She beams happily and says she's soooooo glad that she and her niece skanklet are on friendly terms again, and Blake does his best to feign interest in that re-connection and says he's very happy for her.
Over at Delta Rho, George Hamilton is coaching Rita on how to walk more Krystle-like...and after several minutes of that, she gets tired and tells him she needs to take a break. Rita moans about how worried she is about the kidnapping plan and tells him that Sammy Jo was unable to convince the dressmaker to duplicate the gown Krystle will be wearing - but George Hamilton says it's no big deal and points out that they can peel the gown off of Krystle after he chloroforms her and make the wardrobe switch in the back of the limo. After he leaves the room, Krystle breezes in, looks weirded out by the sight of her doppelgänger, and demands to know what in blazes is going on here. When a startled Rita just stammers incoherently, Krystle marches over to the phone and announces that she's calling Blake...and as she's doing that, George Hamilton sneaks up behind her and knocks her out cold by giving her a karate chop on the back of her neck. A few seconds later, Sammy Jo bursts into the room, sees Krystle laying motionless on the floor, and cries, "What have you done?!" ... and George Hamilton says that their nefarious plan just changed, then turns his attention to Rita and tells her that from this moment on, she's Mrs. Blake Carrington.
"Me? Is that you?"
"Oh, hi me. I wasn't expecting you."
- Published on
Rita is now a dead ringer for Bo Derek
Original airdate: 10/16/1985
Episode summary: Jeff is given a new opportunity in California. Adam follows Claudia to San Francisco to keep their romance alive. Rita completes her Krystle makeover.
Adam tells Blake that he's off to Los Angeles to launch a full investigation into Charlton Heston's financials and health status, then says he's also going to stop off in San Francisco to pretend to check up on one of Denver Carrington's refineries.
Blake is irked when he finds Charlton Heston in the mansion's dining room, helping himself to the breakfast buffet spread. Charlton Heston tells him he wants an answer about the pipeline within a week, and reminds him he's going to need Colby Enterprises's tankers in order to get his oil out of the South China Sea. Blake says he hasn't made up his mind about the deal yet, but promises to consider the proposal carefully.
Claudia drops in on Steven, who's still in the process of packing up his stuff from Luke's apartment. She tells him she came by to bid him adieu 'cause she's off to San Francisco to get some time and space away from Denver and decide what she wants out of life. Steven wishes her well, says he'll always love her, and that he's sorry their ill-fated marriage didn't last more than two seasons.
Alexis has a one-on-one with Blake in his office to tell him that something is amiss between Amanda and Prince Michael. Blake says it's understandable, considering that Prince Michael just lost his country and his father - but Alexis says she doesn't believe that Galen is dead, and suggests they join forces to try and save him. Blake says he's skeptical about her theory that Galen is alive, prompting Alexis to cry, "He could be enduring torture as we speak!" At that moment, Blake's secretary interrupts the meeting to inform Blake, in full hearing range of Alexis, that Charlton Heston just called and left an odd message: a Colby Carrington pipeline beats shipping your oil to Chicago by mule train. Subtle, Charlton. She adds that Charlton is staying at the Brown Palace Hotel until tomorrow, and Blake thanks her for needlessly interrupting his meeting to pass along a message that easily could have waited 'til later. He turns his attention back to Alexis and tells her that she should accept Galen's death and not risk the lives of other men, but Alexis declares, "I'll prove he's alive!" and hurriedly flounces out of the room.
Alexis decks herself out in a white blouse with scarily poofy sleeves prior to summoning Charlton Heston over to her penthouse to tell him she heard about his interest in working with Blake to build an oil pipeline. She says she can convince Blake to agree to the project, but wants a favor in return: his help rescuing King Galen from Moldavia. To that end, she wants him to support an economic embargo so that Moldavia is cut off from receiving supplies and equipment and is therefore forced to release Galen. Charlton Heston tells her he's not interested in getting involved with anything like that, and that he specifically approached Blake (and not her) for the pipeline deal 'cause he's the CEO of a huge oil company and is "his own man". Alexis points out that she's become a respected businesswoman in her own right, aka not the party girl he used to know - but Charlton Heston just shrugs disinterestedly at the general notion of gender equality, says he doesn't believe she can "deliver Blake", and that he doesn't want to accommodate her save Galen request. He gives her credit for trying, condescendingly calls her "a very entertaining lady", and invites her to give him a call next time she's in Los Angeles.
"I want to discuss the pipeline deal and a possible Moldavian rescue."
"What an amusing female you are."
Jonathan Lake enters the La Mirage dining room while Dominique is rehearsing a song...and when he claps delightedly, she tells him to get lost and that she doesn't welcome an audience when she rehearses (even when she's rehearsing in a hotel's open dining room with no authority to control the riff-raff from coming and going). Jonathan ignores her haughty 'tude and tells her he once saw her sing in Paris soon after his wife died and while he was contemplating suicide when trying to hammer out a peace treaty. In fact, he was on his way to drown himself in the Seine when he decided to enjoy one last glass of wine in a fancy club, and just happened to choose the very establishment she was crooning in at that moment. He was somehow so entranced by the loveliness of her voice that he instantly felt that life was worth living again...then tells her that since he's forever in her debt, he'd like to take her out to dinner. Dominique mulls that over, finally gets over her nonsensical dislike of him, and shoots him a warm smile.
"I don't generally like it when the riff-raff observes my sacred rehearsals."
"Would it help if I wank you about how your enchanting singing voice saved me from a self-inflicted drowning?"
When Rita has a freakout soon after getting a nose job, Sammy Jo snappishly orders George Hamilton to get her under control. He assures her that Rita will be fine as long as she's provided with all the inside info she needs to effectively impersonate Krystle Carrington....and then imperiously informs Sammy Jo and Rita that he wants this scam to rise to the level of being his masterpiece as a film director, and that he's determined to not let anything get in his way.
In California, Charlton Heston admonishes his sister for giving Jeff her shares of Colby Enterprises, and she argues that it's a helluva lot more sensible than giving them to his son Miles, who doesn't have the smarts or any interest in running a large company. Charlton Heston insists on forcing Miles into the role, and predicts that Jeff and Miles will constantly be at each other's throats...then makes it clear that, despite the doofusness of his idiot son, he'll always be Team Miles. Barbara Stanwyck says that as his father she'd expect nothing less, tearfully tells her brother she loves him, and informs him that Jeff is waiting outside. She exits the office, wishes Jeff good luck, and says his uncle is ready for an acrimonious one-on-one. Charlton Heston comes right out and tells Jeff he thinks that his sister made a huge mistake in giving him her shares...and the two bicker back and forth about [Jeff's late father] Philip, who Charlton Heston insists was a useless slacker who abandoned his family once he joined the army. He urges Jeff to let him buy up his shares so he can quickly get out of his life, but Jeff refuses to sell Barbara Stanwyck's gift and tells his uncle that he's stuck having him as a partner.
Krystle encounters George Hamilton when she enters Sammy Jo's building, and is visibly weirded out by the creepishly intense way he stares at her. Inside the apartment, Sammy Jo is coaching Rita on how to perfect her Krystle signature...and when Krystle knocks on the door and asks her niece to open up, Rita's all, "Ack!" and rushes into the bedroom to hide before Sammy Jo answers the door. Krystle puts her arm around her niece's shoulders and coos about how much she cares about her and knows how tough it was to grow up without a mom. She adds that Rock Hudson appointed her as his will's executor 'cause he wanted aunt and niece to develop a closer bond, and Sammy Jo says it's really been nice chatting and all - but that she has to cut it short on account of an important appointment. She hastily promises Krystle she'll call her next time she's in Denver...and after a disappointed Krystle leaves, Rita emerges from the bedroom and marvels about how what a class act Krystle Carrington is, and how newly intrigued she is by the prospect of impersonating her.
Claudia is decked out in a silky negligee, lounging in her San Francisco hotel room, when Adam arrives with a room service cart. She's all, "Wha-at are you doing here?" and reminds him that she left Denver so she could be alone to ponder her future - but he says he didn't believe she actually wanted to be alone, and that he missed her soooo much. Claudia says she thinks they're ass backwards wrong for each other and needs time to think, but he tells her she can't send him away 'cause he went so far as to lie to Blake about trouble with a refinery, and then called every hotel in San Francisco until he was able to track her down. He breathily declares, "Wherever you go, I'll always find you" ... and instead of pulling the plug on what's mostly been a creepy hookup, she looks strangely turned on by being relentlessly stalked by the weirdo. He presents her with an expensive looking necklace and insists she try it on immediately, then breathily assures her, "We can have it all" before mounting her atop the bed.
"I will find you no matter what corner of the world you try to hide from me in."
"What an irresistible turn-on that is."
Fallon is at the stables with Miles, petting a horse. She tells him she seems to have an affinity for horseback riding, then abruptly climbs atop the horse and races off. A worried Miles watches her steer the horse through an equestrian obstacle course - LOL - and after one of the jumps, she falls off the horse and gets the wind knocked out of her. Miles races over and concernedly hovers over her until she begins to stir. She grins at him, assures him she's fine, and that she's happy to learn that she now knows she has a love of horses and can't wait to find out who the hell she is. Miles retorts by declaring that he won't ever let her go, then plants her lips with an intense smooch.
Back at Carrington manor, Krystle tells Blake that Sammy Jo promised to call her next time she came to Denver...then says she got the distinct feeling that Sammy Jo was up to no good.
Rita arrives at Sammy Jo's apartment, decked out in fancy new clothes, for the grand unveiling of her more Krystle-like appearance. She excitedly tells George Hamilton and Sammy Jo that the old her doesn't exist anymore, then removes her hat and sunglasses and walks over to the nearest mirror. She gasps and calls her "new face" a miracle...even though her new hairdo is missing Krystle's trademark side wings - which, incidentally, makes her look a lot more like Bo Derek than her intended target. George Hamilton smugly tells her, "I told you so about doing the impossible."
Amanda urges a restless Prince Michael to come back to bed - but he's like, "Nah" and says he's not in the mood for sex. He complains that he feels as though they're exiled children, then bitchily reminds her that she has to accept the fact that they're not merely husband and wife 'cause they have responsibilities to his country and its people. Amanda asks her when the hell he's going to pay attention to her as his wife, then points out that they don't have anything if there's no love between them...and Prince Michael just stares forlornly out of the window and sadly tells her that until his country is free, he doesn't know what they have.
While shopping in downtown Denver, Krystle notices George Hamilton walking down the street with a shopping bag...and when he realizes she's recognized him, he hustles across the street. Krystle tells Blake she saw him outside Sammy Jo's apartment in New York, and adds that he's always staring at her as if he knows her. She then stares pensively into space and says, "He frightens me."
George Hamilton heads over to where Rita's waiting for him and shows her the fancy white dress he just bought for her. As she woots her excitement, he tells her he's no longer satisfied to settle for a cut of Sammy Jo's inheritance - he wants to go after Blake Carrington's money. All of it.