Recap: When a discombobulated Jeff reenters the mansion after swearing he saw Fallon from the upstairs window, Blake steers him to a private room and tells him to get a hold of his damn self and stop insisting that Fallon is still alive. Jeff says he's absolutely certain he saw Fallon in the company of a man he unfortunately didn't get a good look at and now wants to jump into his car and race after them, but Blake points out that he has no idea where that red car drove off to. Jeff mulls that over, reluctantly concurs, then stares mournfully into space and says he can't belieeeeeeve that Fallon was just here, and that he lost track of her yet again. Miles tells a tearful Fallon to take it easy with her sudden panic attack, and assures her that they never have to go back to the Carrington mansion since it clearly causes her so much distress. Fallon wails, "What's wrooooong with me? Why can't I remember anything?" and says she's worried she may be losing her mind. Miles pulls the car over, quizzes her on his name, today's date, and their current location...and when she's able to answer everything correctly, he tells her it's proof that her brain hasn't gone completely wiener. He then says it's totes fine with him if she can't recall her past 'cause he's A-OK with them creating new memories...and when she looks as if she might be open to that prospect, he leans in for a smooch. Duchess Elena surreptitiously drops by the convent to tell Alexis (who's still disguised as a nun) that she doesn't have any updates about Dex's predicament, and that all they can do is helplessly wait for any new developments. Alexis says she'd like her to arrange a meeting with one of the high-ranking revolutionaries, but Elena gasps and warns that that would be far too dangerous. Alexis wryly says she's used to dealing with dangerous men, then irritably wonders aloud if she should even be trusting her...and Elena reminds her that she periodically drops by the convent despite the great danger, even after she (Alexis) bought Prince Michael so that her spoiled daughter could marry into royalty. Alexis denies buying the pissy prince and insists that it was a marriage based on love, and Elena's all, "Whatever" and angrily storms out of the room.
Amanda is in one of the mansion's sitting rooms, despondently staring at a giant globe when Prince Michael enters and asks her if she'd like to join him to see off the guests. She declines and says she's pretty sure the guests know where the door is, so he ambles over to where she's standing and tells her he understands that she's concerned about her mother (though mostly Dex), but would like it if she reengaged herself in their marriage so they can both stop pissing each other off. He professes his love for her, but she just shrugs disinterestedly and says she's come to the undeniable realization that they're ass-backwards wrong for each other and doesn't think things can ever work out. She tells him she's already informed Blake that she wants a divorce...and when a shocked Prince Michael's all, "Wha-a-a-a?", she says the only reason she hasn't moved ahead with filing the papers is 'cause Blake told her to hold off while he experiments with giving him (Prince Michael) something to occupy his time: becoming the new La Mirage overlord. Blake pulls Rita/Krystle aside and says he's worried that Jeff is headed for a nervous breakdown after his Fallon sighting and would appreciate it if she could talk some sense into him about getting over his ex-wife/late fiancee and moving on with his life. Rita/Krystle looks alarmed at the prospect and says she'd much prefer it if Jeff sorted through his own personal problems - but Blake says he'd really really appreciate it if she interjected herself into the situation and at least had a conversation with him. George Hamilton unties Krystle and rips off the tape he placed over her mouth and says he's sorry for restraining her, but not really 'cause she deserved it after getting so out of control. Krystle tearfully says that before she was abducted she remembers she was at Delta Rho, saw her doppelganger, and then got hit over the head - but George Hamilton's like, "No, no.." and tries to convince her she fell, accidentally hit her head, and is now being held by him for ransom far far away from Delta Rho. Krystle's like, "Dude, that version of events makes zero sense" [oh sorry...that was me, projecting], then tells him he won't get away with committing this kidnapping without paying. George Hamilton gets a strange, faraway look in his eyes and replies, "How wrong you are. Blake will pay", which prompts Krystle to stare concernedly into space. While on the road, Miles and Fallon stop at a restaurant to get a bite to eat. She apologizes for having such an overly dramatic reaction to being outside Carrington manor and preventing him from attending the party, then says that he deserves better than to be hanging out with a loose canon who has amnesia. She adds that there was something about being in Denver that gave her her the heebie jeebies and that she wants to return to Los Angeles asap 'cause she's more than ready to move forward and throw in the towel on trying to figure out her identity. Jeff insists to Rita/Krystle that he saw Fallon this evening, and she just stares back at him with mute cluelessness. As the party begins to wind down, Garrett offers to give Dominique a lift to the La Mirage, but she declines...and also declines to meet up with him at the hotel bar to catch up. She tells him it's too late to revive their twenty year old affair, firmly says, "Goodnight and goodbye", and flounces up the stairs. A mopish Amanda is sitting in her bedroom, staring at her reflection in a small mirror when Dominique pops in to say goodnight. When she notices Amanda's sour expression and asks whassup, Amanda replies, "Nothing that a divorce won't cure." Dominique's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and urges her to stick it out with her tiny prince and try to work things out - but Amanda tells her that the fairy tale/princess wedding/happily ever after storyline that the writers forcibly squeezed into the final few episodes of Season 5 before unleashing a massacre on much of the cast was, in hindsight, a huge mistake...and that she somehow thought she could be happy with a man she foolishly rushed headfirst into an ill-thought-out marriage with. Dominique reminds her that just a couple of months ago she had vowed to love Prince Michael forever, then says when one finds love, one must cherish and nurture it 'cause if it's lost it may never be found again. She adds, "And I really know what I'm talking about" while staring contemplatively into space...and Amanda refrains from turning the conversation back to her dysfunctional marriage and insisting that she's more than ready to kick her shitty little husband to the curb.
A Moldavian guard unchains Dex from the wall of his dungeon cell, where it looks as though he's been repeatedly fake tortured, and snidely says to let him know whenever he's ready to talk. When the remaining guard lights up a cigarette, Dex weakly moans, "Cigarette..?" and the guard decides 'what could be the harm in giving this half-dead man a cigarette?' and leans down to hand his smoke to Dex, who has an unexpected burst of energy and kicks the guard onto the ground before knocking him unconscious. He quickly changes into the guard's uniform, grabs his gun, and flees the dungeon cell. He spots two guards in the corridor and overhears one tell the other, "Make sure no one gets in or out." He waits until one of the guards is alone before he knocks him unconscious and drags him into a nearby dungeon cell, where he just happens to stumble upon King Galen, who's laying on a cot and moaning unintelligibly. Dex pokes at him and is all, "Yo Galen, let's get outa here!", but Galen says his legs don't work and urges Dex to run off and save himself - but Dex is like 'I didn't risk my life to leave Moldavia empty handed' and picks Galen up, flings him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and flees the cell. Back at Carrington manor, Sammy Jo is noshing on leftovers when she runs into Steven, who scowls at her and demands to know why she's been buzzing around Krystle so much lately instead of spending quality time with their son. He adds that he finds it so puzzling and unusual that he's going to spare no effort in getting to the bottom of it...and as he bitchily storms off, Sammy Jo stares after him worriedly. Sammy Jo tells Rita that Steven is starting to get suspicious about the two of them suddenly behaving like they're besties, and that she'd like to get access to her inheritance so they can end this ridiculous Krystle/doppelganger charade asap. Rita says that she, on the other hand, is far more concerned about having to hit the sack with Blake and risking him figuring out that she's not his "beloved Krystle" - just as Little Blake appears in the doorway and stares at her suspiciously. Rita shoots him a phoney smile and offers to tuck him in, but he's like, "Ack!" and runs off down the hall...and Rita rolls her eyes and tells Sammy Jo that the bowl-shaped hairdo kid gives her the creeps. A few seconds later, Blake enters the room to praise her for doing such an excellent job charming the Colbys. He remarks that she looks like she's feeling a lot better and that it's time for bed (ew), and Rita/Krystle shoots Sammy Jo a fuuuuuuuck look which I translated to mean that sooner or later she's going to have to endure the ordeal of getting bedded by the old goat, so it may as well be tonight. Claudia is penning her resignation letter from La Mirage when Prince Michael enters the office. He looks taken aback when she presents him with the letter and says he'd really really like it if she stayed on as Executive Vice President. Claudia's like, "Nope" and says she's sick of working for Blake, who has a dickish tendency to screw people over once they've fallen out of favor. Dominique returns to her La Mirage suite to find Garrett sitting on a sofa chair, sipping a glass of champagne. She glares at him and says she hates surprises and asks him to leave, but he refuses and tells her they have too much bottled up from the last twenty years to just go their separate ways. They bicker about their boring affair...blah blah...until he leans in and gives her a big smooch - and she sort of looks into it for a few seconds, but then pushes him away and threatens to call security. Garrett takes the receiver out of her hand and hangs it up, apologizes for bothering her, then heads toward the door while mumbling, "You probably haven't thought about me in twenty years." Once he's safely out of earshot, Dominique wistfully replies, "Oh, if only you knew" then places a call to a finishing school in Switzerland and asks to speak to the head mistress...and I can only assume that this is the genesis of yet another 'secretly birthed baby many years ago' storyline. Dex is somehow able to carry King Galen out of the prison, off the palace grounds, and unseen across the countryside to the convent that Alexis has been hiding out in. LOL. He's greeted by his overjoyed wife, and gazes at her lovingly and schmaltzily says he didn't know if he'd ever be able to look into her beautiful eyes again. As the two urgently smooch, King Galen moans in distress...and Alexis breaks away from Dex and hovers over him concernedly as Dex clucks sympathetically and says he clearly hasn't received any medical attention since the massacre. Alexis wails, "We have to get him to a doctor!", but Dex says there's no time - no time! - 'cause they really need to get him out of his horrible country pronto.
Dex (disguised as a monk) and Alexis (still disguised as a nun) load up King Galen in the back of the jeep, cover him with a blanket, and drive to the border checkpoint. When the guard on duty asks for papers, Dex hands him his fake ID and says he's off to get medical supplies for the brave revolutionaries - but a few seconds later, another guard marches over, rips off Dex's monk hood and yells, "It's the American!" Dex responds by hitting the gas, squealing past the checkpoint, and crashing through the flimsy parkade style gate...and the guards scramble to aim their rifles and fire on the jeep, but they're unable to get a clear shot and quickly give up. Hurray! Jeff continues to mope about his Fallon sighting...but while flashing back to it, he somehow recalls that the car she climbed into had a California license plate on it. Jeff perks up at that revelation and mutters, "Miles..?" and wonders aloud if the man she was with last night could possibly have been Miles Colby. Miles and Fallon check into a cheap motel with only one room available...and that has only one bed. Mmm hmm.. Miles gazes at her longingly and says he won't push her into anything sexual, but that if she's interested he'd really really like for them to be knocking boots. Fallon blushingly admits that she's been tempted to hit the sheets with him on more than one occasion, but stopped herself 'cause she was afraid of getting involved...but suddenly no longer feels afraid. Miles takes this as permission to proceed with some much awaited foreplay and plants her lips with a giant smooch.
Jeff tells Rita/Krystle that he's jetting to Californa asap and leaving Little Blake in her care...and Little Blake is all, "Nooooo! Don't leave me with this strange doppelganger!" Jeff chalks up his son's horrified reaction to tiredness, and Rita/Krystle grins and assures Jeff that the tot will be just fine during his absence. When Adam returns to La Mirage, Claudia chides him for not storming out of the party with her following her argument with Blake, so he explains that it was important for him to schmooze with the other partygoers in order to protect their business interests. Claudia mulls that over, decides she accepts that excuse, and gives him a long kissy hug. When Rita/Krystle finally enters the bedroom, Blake says he's been waiting for a loooong time for her to finally come to bed...so she explains that she was talking to Jeff, who has decided to move to California after all. Blake smiles with delight and calls her "a miracle worker" and gives her a long kiss - but she pulls away and says her headache has suddenly resurfaced. A miffed looking Blake theorizes that Sammy Jo's presence in the mansion is probably what's causing her stress headache, and Rita/Krystle admonishes him for disparaging her only living blood relative. Blake says that if she keeps using a headache as an excuse to avoid her wifely duties she's going to have to see a doctor, and Rita/Krystle bitchily tells him to stop harping on her damn headache and shuts off the light.
A desperate Krystle dismantles a lamp and uses the sharp end of it to try to pick the lock of the attic door, but doesn't have any luck. She then looks over at a boarded up window and cries, "God help me!" as she struggles with pulling the boards off. Blake finds Jeff milling around the mansion at 4am and asks him what he's doing up at this hour, and Jeff says he's planning to catch the first flight to Los Angeles to continue his search for Fallon 'cause he's newly convinced that she somehow hooked up with Miles Colby. Blake says he remains skeptical about all of this and doesn't believe that Fallon would have fled from the mansion - but Jeff insists that he found Fallon tonight, and that when he finally tracks her down, he's never letting her out of his sight again. Meanwhile, at the Super 8 Motel, Fallon and Miles are entwined in each other's arms, urgently getting it on. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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