Dynasty - Season 5, Episode 24

Rock is taunted while in captivity

"The Crash"
Original airdate: 3/20/1985

Episode summary: Prince Michael tires of Amanda's bitchitude and calls off their engagement. Claudia travels to Mexico to file for divorce. Blake confronts Rock Hudson aboard his private plane, and a physical altercation leads to a crash in the mountains. 

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Recap: Blake is at the La Mirage, cuddling Kristina, when Krystle returns to her suite and is all, "Wha-at are you doing here?" After Nanny Martha swoops in to take Kristina for her morning bath, Blake tells Krystle he purposely stayed away for several days to give her time to ponder their shittastic marriage - but says it's time for her to come home now. Krystle says she wants him to really really understand why she left - namely, the complete lack of trust between them - and he gets all pissy-defensive and continues to insist that his flirtation with Lady Ashley is casual and innocent. Krystle says that the contrived coziness between her and Rock Hudson is just as casual and innocent - but Blake dickishly refuses to believe that, however is willing to forgive her slutty behavior if she meekly agrees to come home and resume her life as his pliable trophy wife. A dismayed Krystle says she neeeeeeds him to trust and believe her...and when Blake just stares stubbornly at the floor, she wearily tells him he should go now.

Alexis summons Luke to ColbyCo to urge him to return to his job 'cause 1) he's very efficient at PR, and 2) Steven's happiness is super important to her. Luke shifts uneasily and declines the offer before quickly adding that he hopes this doesn't make him her enemy - 'cause who the hell needs that shit?
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Steven and Luke are dining at a swanky restaurant, discussing Luke's polite rejection of Alexis' offer to reinstate him at ColbyCo. A few seconds later, Adam and Claudia enter the restaurant and spot the two...and Claudia gets upset and wants to leave. Adam urges her to let go of the past and is all, "Why don't you get divvvvvvvvvorced already?" 

At the hospital, Dominique nonsensically grumbles to Lady Ashley about her imminent release from the hospital. Ashley says it's normal to be depressed after an operation - but is keeping her fingers crossed she'll soon get out of the bitchy funk she's descended into and get back to her normal, boring-as-fuck self. As Ashley exits the hospital, she runs into Blake and flirtily tells him he's just the medicine Dominique needs and suggests they have lunch this afternoon. Blake awkwardly says he's too busy for lunch today...and when Ashley says she hopes she's not the cause of his recent separation with Krystle [you are, idiot], he mumbles that he and Krystle will find a way to work out their problems on their own.

Alexis tells Amanda that the sample bridesmaids' dresses that whoever (?) sent over are far too fugly for a royal wedding. Amanda snaps at her to stop fussing, then wistfully says she soooo wishes she could call off the wedding on account of she's not passionately in love with Prince Dork. Alexis admonishes her for wanting to throw away "a brilliant marriage" for a man [aka stepfather] she can never have. When Amanda plays dumb about her lust for Dex, Alexis urges her to focus her desires on Prince Michael, who seems dumb enough to be willing to marry her just so his father can reap the rewards of a profitable oil deal. 

Dex drops by Krystle's suite to inform her that Rock Hudson has been captured by a group of bad guys in Paraguay and is currently locked up in a prison camp. Krystle's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and scrunches her face pensive-concernedly.

In Paraguay, Rock Hudson is dragged into a crude prison cell by three men in military uniforms. As he's being chained to the wall, one of the men barks, "There will be no trial! You will be shot! Comprende?" and a weary looking Rock's all, "Aye yai yai.."

Claudia drops by Carrington manor to tell Steven that she's jetting to Mexico to get herself a quickie divorce. Steven's like, "Nooooo.." and urges her to drag this out more so they can continue to endlessly ponder "what's happened here" and what they mean to each other. Claudia argues that it's unhealthy to continue brooding and suffering in a non-salvageable marriage and wants to end it with the tiny scrap of dignity she has left. Steven bobs his head in reluctant agreement, assures her she can see Danny any time she wants, and expresses sorrow that the marriage didn't work out. Blake enters the room just as Claudia leaves...and when he learns she's filing for divorce, he snarkishly asks Steven why in blazes he didn't stop her. When Steven says that this is between him and Claudia, Blake snidely asks what will be left of the Carrington clan if they split up. Steven replies, "Me and Luke" and reminds his father about his promise to support his reemerged gay lifestyle. When Blake glares pissily into space, Steven asks him if he's already changed his mind 'bout that, and Blake softens his glare and grudgingly says he won't break his half-hearted promise to stand by him.

"Did you forget about your promise to support my gay lifestyle?"

"Pretty much the instant after I made it."

Over at the penthouse, Dex and Charles are poring over a map, strategizing about their plan to rescue Rock Hudson from Paraguay. When Alexis arrives home, Charles folds up the map and abruptly leaves...and when Alexis asks Dex whassup, he declines to respond. She says his plans always seem like dangerous missions and demands that he call off whatever he's about to do...and Dex gazes at her lovingly and says her snappish tone about his safety is making him feel kinda warm and fuzzy. She insists that she doesn't want to lose him, then gives him a big smooch as an incentive to keep from going off on another mission - but after a second smooch, Dex pushes her away and says he has to go upstairs and pack for Operation Rescue Rock Hudson.

Blake asks Prince Michael why he should approve of a marriage to Amanda, so Michael declares his undying love for his daughter and says he's pretty sure she loves him too...even though she may not realize it yet. Blake points out that Amanda would be marrying a near stranger and living in a not yet politically stable country...and that he wants to be sure that the marriage is based on love, and not for a for-profit reason. Michael assures Blake that he really truly absolutely does love Amanda and will do everything within his power to make her happy. 

Steven is over at Luke's, eating dinner and moping over Claudia's divorce plans. When Luke says that Claudia is doing what she feels is best, Steven snaps, "Is she?" ... and Luke stares dully into space and wonders why he's staying hooked up with the world's most depressing wet blanket. Or maybe that was me, projecting. 

Claudia is in her Mexican hotel room, crying in her pillow over the divorce, when Adam unexpectedly arrives. She looks relieved to see him, cries, "I needed you!", and orders him to doink her. The next morning, the two lay in bed and enjoy some post-coital afterglow...and Claudia marvels about how awesome he is in the sack.

In Paraguay, the bad guys are taunting Rock Hudson and torturing him by grabbing at his wounded leg. Suddenly, Dex, Charles, and a third guy disguised as soldiers rush into the cell, knock out the bad guys, and rescue Rock amid a brief shootout.

Dominique returns to her La Mirage suite after being released from the hospital and snarks at Blake and Lady Ashley about being controlled by "well meaning people". Blake tells Lady Ashley that Dominique is just tired, then thanks her for being so helpful to his sister. He clasps her hands gratefully - just as Krystle appears in the doorway clutching a get well soon gift for Dominique. She looks aghast at the sight of Blake and Lady Ashley holding hands, mutters, "I'll come back later", and storms off.

"What fresh horror is this?"

"Pretty much exactly what it looks like."

Prince Michael gives Amanda a lovely necklace, ring, and earrings that once belonged to his mother. He schmaltzily tells her she's far more gorgeous than the jewels, and that with her smile she'll conquer Moldavia - just as she has him. When he tries to kiss her, she poutishly declares that she hasn't been conquered and that sex is not part of their arrangement. A bummed Prince Michael calls her "cold as ice" before stalking out of the room...and Amanda gazes admiringly at her bejeweled reflection in the mirror.

"I can't wait for our wedding night."

"You do realize that sex won't be on the menu ever, don't you?"

During dinner at the penthouse, Prince Michael apologizes to Alexis for being in such a glum mood after learning of Amanda's no sex ever policy. Alexis assures her future son-in-law that Amanda will eventually come around...and Prince Michael says that even though he's not used to waiting around for other people to decide stuff, he won't give up on his frigid fiancee.

Jeff and Lady Ashley return to her La Mirage suite after a night out. As he glances at the many photographs she has of Blake strewn around the room, she gushingly calls Blake "a wonderful subject". Jeff muses about how she seems to like focusing on older men 'cause they have character, depth, and experience...then half-jokingly asks if younger men stand a chance with her, and gives her an intense, yet chemistry-free smooch. 

The next morning, Rock visits Krystle at her La Mirage suite, and she hugs him and tells him how relieved she is that he's alive. He says he was terrified he'd die without ever seeing her again, and assumed that from now on they'd be a couple. Krystle's like, "Um, not" and breaks the news that, despite her temporary living arrangement at the La Mirage, she's still devoted to and in love with goat daddy. Rock's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and says he can't bring himself to believe that, and says he'll wait around patiently until she changes her mind.

Dominique is playing piano in her suite while coughing pitifully. Lady Ashley drops by to remind her that they have plans to go to Carrington manor for dinner...and when Dominique grumpishly says she's not in the mood, Lady Ashley orders her to get in the mood 'cause Blake is expecting them.

Jeff counsels Steven about his failed marriage and urges him to not turn his back on Claudia. He then trash-talks Adam, particularly the way he moves in on other men's wives, e.g. Kirby, and now Claudia. Steven pissily says he begged Claudia not to hook up with Adam - but since his words fell on deaf ears, she can marry the psycho fuckwit for all he cares.

"Dinner" at the mansion turns out to be a big welcome home from surgery party for Dominique, and she's thrilled by the surprise and thanks everyone for coming. Steven encounters Adam and Claudia, who tells him they're officially divorced. Steven bitchily asks Adam what his role in all this is, accuses him of strong-arming Claudia into filing for divorce, then storms off before Adam has a chance to retort.

"So...you two are an official couple now?"

"Yup. Why wait for the ink on the divorce papers to dry?"

Prince Michael attempts to get canoodly with Amanda, who shoots him the stink-eye and snarkishly tells him to get his fucking hands off of her. Prince Michael sighs wearily, tells her he's had enough of her bitchitude, and loudly declares that he's breaking their engagement. As the party guests titter and stare, he stomps off while Amanda rushes out of the room in tears. When Blake starts to run out after her, Krystle urges him to leave her alone, then informs him that Rock Hudson is back in town...and that she knows this 'cause he stopped by her La Mirage suite to let her know he's OK. Blake gets enraged at the thought of Rock pursuing her so brazenly and decides he's going to need to give the cheeky interloper the what for.

The next morning, Blake phones Rock and demands they talk, but Rock says he can't 'cause he's about to leave for the airport to fly to Portland, then hangs up on him. Blake looks incensed, then rushes out of the mansion.

At the airport, Rock boards his private plane and is surprised to find Blake aboard, waiting for him. Blake growls about wanting to settle things once and for all, and calls him out on trying to break up his marriage. The pilot interrupts to inform the two that he needs to take off right now, otherwise they'll be grounded for several hours due to an impending storm - and Rock tells him to take off now.

While airborne, Blake continues to rail at Rock for trying to lure Krystle away from him, so Rock asks him if Krystle is really truly absolutely happy in her marriage, or if he's afraid she'll see him for the dickish ogre he really is. (I'm pretty sure that ship sailed quite some time ago.) Blake insists that Krystle will never leave him, mostly 'cause he refuses to ever let her go, and Rock replies, "It's settled. I'm taking her." Blake bellows, "Like hell! My wife isn't up for grabs!" and steps aside while his stunt double lunges at Rock's stunt double and gets into some weird looking huggy-type wrestling moves. After bouncing around the seating area, the two idiots hurl themselves toward the cockpit (that's just separated by a flimsy curtain!) and accidentally knock out the pilot, whose lifeless body slams against the controls. Rock stares in horror at the dashboard and does his best to prevent the plane from taking an immediate nose-dive...and Blake props up the pilot against the seat so he doesn't flop forward onto the controls again. As the plane lowers into a mountainous area, Rock informs Blake [via a weirdly calm sounding voice-over] that he's going to do his best to keep the plane straightened out while he looks for a suitable place to land. A few seconds later, he coolly says, "Brace yourself" as the plane makes a scary looking descent.

Nooo!! 

"You wife-stealing bastard!"

"I'm going to hug the sass out of you if it kills us both!"

VROOOM!

"I'll keep the pilot in a choke-hold while you try to make heads or tails out of the flight controls."

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