Dynasty - Season 5, Episode 18

"I'm just so worried that goat daddy and I are drifting further and further apart."

"The Ball"
Original airdate: 2/6/1985

Episode summary: In Acapulco, Amanda meets Prince Michael of Moldavia, while Blake flirtily banters with Lady Ashley Mitchell. Claudia tells Steven she's done being his wife-beard, and Krystle and Rock Hudson share a tender moment after a riding accident.

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Recap: Krystle is in one of the mansion's sitting rooms, cuddling Kristina and gushing to the nanny about how wee and fragile she is...and the nanny's like, "Yeah, whatever. I'm just here to whisk the tiny tot off to her nap." Krystle stares pensively into space for a few seconds, reaches for the phone, but then decides against making the call [probably to goat daddy].

Alexis drops by Blake's hotel suite in Acapulco...and when Blake demands to know what the hell she's doing here, she tells him she's here to talk business - just like all the other big oil producers who are in attendance at this hastily-put-together auction. Blake excuses himself from the room when His Royal Highness, Prince Michael of Moldavia calls...and naturally Krystle chooses that moment to call Blake on the second line. Alexis answers - but Krystle is so befuddled to hear Alexis answer Blake's phone, that she scrunches her face in bemused irritation before hanging up. When Blake reenters the room, Alexis tells him she wants her fair share of the oil leases, and he's like, "No. Now get the hell out of my hotel suite."

Rock Hudson startles Krystle in the stables as she's brushing out her horse...and when she finishes up with the grooming, she says she needs to head home now. Rock snarks at her for always running off and asks her if she's lost her nerve regarding her horse breeding venture, and says this isn't the type of business she can run half-heartedly. Krystle denies being half-hearted about it and says she intends to stick by her commitment...and he nods his approval and tells her that this was another of his bullshit tests to gauge how strongly she can hold her ground when someone questions how serious she is about raising Arabians. She smiles with relief that she passed his test (?) and somehow refrains from calling him out for always acting like such an obnoxious tool.

Amanda joins Blake in the dining room and tells him how much fun she's having - but that she needs to find herself a tennis partner. A few seconds later, an attractive young man in a white shirt and pants approaches their table...and Amanda assumes he's the waiter and asks him to bring her some water. The man looks amused and grabs the nearest glass of water from an adjacent table...and an equally-as-amused looking Blake introduces him to Amanda as Prince Michael of Moldavia. Amanda looks mortified and chides Blake for not alerting her to his royal status before she made a giant arse of herself - but Prince Michael gazes at her all smitten-like and says he enjoyed being mistaken for a waiter. After Amanda dashes off to play tennis, Lady Ashley Mitchell arrives in the dining room and tells Blake she's in Acapulco mostly to photograph the VIPs, then invites him to the big party she's throwing tonight for all of the oil business bigwigs.

"Bring me a Perrier on the rocks, and don't skimp on the lime."

"Despite my royal station in life, I've always enjoyed being mistaken for a waiter."

Claudia drops by Luke's apartment to get the low down on his life story...so he tells her that years ago he found a woman to marry him despite the strong gay vibe he was likely giving off. Eventually he came out to his wife Karen, who was like, "No duh, Liberace", and the two promptly ended the marriage and went their separate ways. Claudia insists that Steven's path has been totally different, and needlessly adds that he's always made love to her like a hetero. She implores him to stay away from Steven and give Dynasty writers the space to figure out, for once and for all, if they truly have the courage to feature prime time's only openly gay character in the mid-'80s. Luke promises he'll stay away and not put any pressure on Steven - but tells Claudia she's fooling herself, 'cause he's walked a similar path. Which inevitably leads to gay town. 

Nicole has on the sparkly red dress that Fallon's immortalized in in her portrait, and is admiring herself in the mirror when Jeff enters the room. He immediately gets enraged at the sight of her in Fallon's clothes, tells her she has no right to wear his ex/future wife's dresses, and orders her to take it off. When he tries to forcibly remove it, she smacks him across the face and yells at him to get away from her.

In the La Mirage dining room, Adam laments to Claudia that Blake no longer trusts him, and grumbles about being excluded from the Acapulco trip. He says he still feels like an interloper, even after all these years of trying to make up for lost time on account of his kidnapping...then snaps, "I will have what is mine!" while banging both hands on the table. Claudia looks alarmed by his outburst - but then jokes about how pathetic and self-piteous the two of them currently are. Adam clutches her hands and assures her they'll get through their respective emotional crises.

Alexis and Lady Ashley are sharing a glass of wine on Alexis' terrace. Lady Ashley teasingly asks Alexis if she wants her help with Blake's oil leases...then goes, "Nah nah, you can't have it." Alexis promises to make it worth her while, but Lady Ashley declines...and is coy about what she's really after in Acapulco, then mutely leaves the suite. That was one nonsensical scene...and some cringey wooden acting from Ali McGraw.

Claudia heads over to Carrington manor to tell Steven she spent the entire night thinking about her current wife-beard situation...and came to the conclusion that she has zero desire to wait around while he agonizes ad fucking nauseam over his ever-shifting 'am I gay, straight, or somewhere in-between?' conundrum. She says she won't continue to be "a screen to hide behind" ... and until he can make a firm decision about whether or not he wants to fully function in a hetero marriage, she's outa here.

"I don't want to be your wife-beard anymore."

"I could definitely use some tips on that kind of firm decision-making."

Krystle and Rock Hudson are on his estate, skeet shooting. To help Krystle improve her success rate, he suggests she visualize someone she'd like to hurt, then pretend like they're the target...and, of course, she nails it on the very next shot. Rock asks her who she pictured up there - Blake? Alexis? - but Krystle shakes her head sadly and says she's still smarting over not being included in the Acapulco trip...not least 'cause Blake invited Amanda to tag along 'cause he thought she could use a fun vacay. Fair point.

Blake receives an envelop with no return address and inside finds a photograph of Krystle and Rock Hudson, smiling in each other's company. He stares at it, his wrinkly face scrunched in puzzlement.

Dex chats with Minister Han (of the Chinese delegation) about how he once rescued his son from something POW-related and is now ready to call in a favor after performing that heroic deed. A few seconds later, Alexis saunters over and tries to persuade Minister Han to partner with ColbyCo in developing Denver Carrington's oil leases...and he seems mildly intrigued by that prospect.

Prince Michael stands behind Amanda and coos, "Dance with me, Amanda Carrington", and she sassily retorts that she doesn't take orders from anyone. He smarmily says he'd be the saddest of princes if she declines, so she smiles and gives in. Dex, meanwhile, has noticed the two of them pressed together on the dance floor and is creepily staring at them from his table. When the dance ends, he pissily asks Amanda if she enjoyed dancing with his royal highness, and she's all, "Yep. Jealous much?" and he chuckles at the "absurdity" of that and claims he's merely concerned 'cause of what a player Michael is. Amanda shrugs unconcernedly, says she has a date lined up with the prince tomorrow, then flounces back over to him and invites him to continue dancing with her. Alexis appears out of nowhere and remarks to Dex how stunning Amanda and Prince Michael look on the dance floor, and he mumbles something in the affirmative.

The next morning at breakfast, Alexis seats herself at Blake's table and reminds him of what an excellent businesswoman she is, and that Minister Han is open to the idea of all three of them working together. Blake firmly tells Alexis his answer is always going to be a hard no - but Alexis huffily insists she wants the oil leases and refuses to take no for an answer. 

Nicole shoots Fallon's portrait the stink-eye and nonsensically accuses, "You're winning again, aren't you?" A few seconds later, Jeff enters the room to apologize for his behavior earlier and presents her with an expensive bracelet...and Nicole gushes at its sparkliness, then assures Jeff she totally gets how much he misses Fallon - but vows to make him love her. When Little Blake (hereafter to be referred to as LB now that Jeff has officially re-nicknamed him) ambles into the room, Jeff proposes they all go for a ride. He's all, "Hurray!" but makes it clear he doesn't want Nicole to come along, 'cause Fallon is the only mommy he'll ever love. 

"A phony like you will never hold a candle to my pre-recast portrait."

"You are such an inanimate bitch."

Amanda and Prince Michael have spent the day together, swimming at his luxury villa. He schmaltzily rubs lotion on Amanda's "sunburned" skin, then starts kissing her arms and clavicle - but she stops him from going further by telling him she's starving and would like to go to dinner now. 

After dinner in the hotel restaurant, Amanda bids Prince Michael goodnight and invites him to call her in the morning. Dex, who continues to creepily watch her interact with the prince, admonishes her wanton behavior and accuses her of unwittingly giving the Chinese delegation the impression that if Prince Michael beds her, it'll vastly increase his chances of acquiring Blake's oil leases. Amanda coquettishly says she'll bed the prince whenever she's ready to be bedded by him, then smugly says good night and flounces off to her room.

The next morning, Amanda hangs with Alexis in her suite and gabbles about how Prince Michael invited her to visit his kingdom of Moldavia - just as Dex returns from playing an invigorating game of tennis. Amanda smugly announces that she's off to go sailing with her new royal boyfriend...and once she's out of earshot, Dex asks Alexis if she approves of Amanda's dalliance with such a brazen playboy. Alexis says she wants Amanda to live her life to the fullest, then asks him why he's so interested in who she dates...and doesn't seem to sense anything amiss when, instead of answering, Dex just stares sullenly into space.

During a private meeting, Minister Han tells Blake he likes the idea of partnering with ColbyCo and Denver Carrington to develop the oil leases - but Blake argues that that particular threesome would lead to nothing but problems. When Blake is called away to take a call from Krystle, Lady Ashley pulls Minister Han aside and diplomatically explains that Blake and Alexis have been divorced for years, run rival companies, and generally hate each other's guts. She says it would be far better if he worked with Blake as a sole partner in this venture, and Minister Han mulls that over and decides 'sure, why the hell not?' After he leaves, Lady Ashley suggests to Blake that they have a drink, relax, and chat about how beautiful Krystle is - but says he'd rather not talk about his wife while they flirtily banter. Lady Ashley chuckles and muses about what "a real catch" he'd be if he were a bachelor on the open dating market, and Blake smiles blushingly in response. LOL. Be still my beating heart.

"Imagine you were a bachelor...my goodness, the ladies would be forming a line around the block."

"Hee...tell me again what a silver fox I am."

At Delta Rho, Rock Hudson and Charles are studying some photos in preparation for what looks like some sort of military rescue. Charles asks if Dex is going to be part of the team, but Rock grimly says no. A few seconds later, Krystle arrives unexpectedly...and after the two scramble to hide the photos, Rock invites her to go horseback riding with him.

As the two ride along the estate, Krystle's demented horse begins galloping out of control. Rock frantically yells, "Rein him in hard!", but a hapless Krystle flies off the horse and rolls down a short ravine. Rock leaps off of his horse and comes running over to where her rolling finally came to a stop...and is relieved that she doesn't appear to be seriously hurt. The two stare longingly at each other as he hovers over her, then leans in and plants her with a giant smooch.

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