Dynasty - Season 5, Episode 10

"We'll definitely need extra seating space for those sleeves."

"Kristina"
Original airdate: 12/5/1984

Episode summary: Krystle gives birth to a premature baby girl, who doesn't seem likely to survive. Claudia is miffed when Steven and Luke Fuller jet off to Santa Barbara on business. Amanda continues to flirt with Dex. 

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Recap: Blake hovers over Krystle and begs her to pleeeeeease open her eyes - but she continues to lay stubbornly unconscious at the bottom of the staircase. Blake barks at Gerard to bring the car around so they can rush her to the hospital...and a few seconds later, Krystle's eyes begin to flutter and she starts moaning unintelligibly. Blake gently coos that despite her stunt double's back-breaking tumble down the long staircase, he's pretty sure that everything's going to turn out A-OK. 

Nicole drops by Claudia's office at the La Mirage to ask her if she wouldn't mind storing important papers regarding her late husband's estate in the very secure office safe. Claudia just shrugs and is like, "Yeah, sure. What the hell" ... then is startled a few seconds later when she catches Nicole reentering the office for what looked like a sneaky opportunity to tiptoe behind her to learn the safe's combination. Nicole's like, "Oops, sorry!" and pretends she came back to retrieve a book she "accidentally" left behind. Weird.

Krystle is revived through smelling salts, then promptly goes into labor. Blake tells Gerard to cancel the hospital ride and call 911 for some paramedic assistance...then help him haul his wife back up to the master bedroom and hope to hell that someone in the mansion knows something about midwifery.  

Nicole is chatting it up with the La Mirage bartender, fibbing about how she and Fallon Carrington were besties - just as Jeff walks up behind her and overhears. He asks her whassup with her lying about a friendship with Fallon, and Nicole's like, "Oops" and  breezily "explains" that she was so bored just now that she decided 'why not tell a complete stranger I was good friends with my lover's dead ex/future wife?', and adds that Fallon was sooooo lucky to be his lady. She implores Jeff to not be angry with her, and he somehow overlooks the nonsensical weirdness of this entire scene and assures her he's still into the idea of doinking her. 

Adam calls Steven from Turkey to tell him to pass along to Blake the following message: mission accomplished. Subtle. Steven seems surprised to learn that Adam had been in Turkey during much of the previous episode and stares perplexedly into space.

Blake and Claudia hover over Krystle as she moans about how frightened she is about losing the baby...and Jeannette decides that this would be the most appropriate moment to tiptoe inside the room and pass along to Blake Adam's mission accomplished message. Krystle pauses her labor to ask if by mission accomplished, Adam was referring to Ahmed's untimely death, and Blake tells her not to worry 'bout that now and instead focus on her increasingly frequent contractions. As the ambulance putters along the scenic route towards Carrington manor, Krystle lets out a few moans and shrieks before giving birth to a girl. Claudia, who was standing at the foot of the bed at the time so I'm assuming delivered the tot, contorts her face into a stricken expression and tells Blake she's not breathing. He jumps into action and gives the infant mouth-to-mouth while begging her to "breathe, please breathe!" Krystle wails, "Nooooo! It's happening again!" as the slow driving paramedics finally pull up to the mansion and stumble inside with their lifesaving gear. 

"I can't go through another 'I lost my baby' storyline."

"Don't worry - the writers felt that that would be too repetitive of your Season 2 miscarriage."

After the commercial break, Dr. Harris informs Blake that Krystle suffered a minor concussion during her fall, and that the baby is in the NICU inside an incubator, struggling to breathe. Blake implores him to do everything "humanly possible and beyond" to save his daughter, then snaps, "Is that understood?!" and Dr. Harris somehow refrains from telling him to go pee up a rope since he and his highly trained medical team are already doing their best to keep the fragile preemie alive.

Blake stares at his incubated daughter through the NICU window when Jeff arrives at the hospital to express his concern for the newborn and his butt-kissing affection for Blake and Krystle - despite the dickish playboy antics he's been demonstrating during the last several episodes. After the two kiss and hug it out, Dr. Miller, a female pediatric specialist, informs Blake that his daughter is suffering from respiratory distress - but that since she's showing great tenacity as she struggles to breathe, she's pretty sure that the tiny gaffer will make it through this rough patch. Dr. Harris, meanwhile, warns Blake that the next few weeks are going to be very difficult emotionally, and that he's going to have to refrain from being his usual dickish self for Krystle's sake.

Alexis tells Steven she needs him to fly to Santa Barbara asap in order to handle the PR fallout from a recent oil spill. She's also sending Luke Fuller along on the trip 'cause, not only is she oblivious to the non-hetero electricity that's been crackling between them, she finds him to be an exceptionally bright and helpful young man. Steven stares into space looking both irritated and intrigued.

Claudia pops in on Steven to invite him to lunch, but Steven says he has to decline 'cause of his imminent business trip to Santa Barbara. He invites her to come along, but she declines and says she should probably stay in town so she can visit Krystle in the hospital and worriedly wring her hands about the preemie. Luke suddenly appears in the doorway and asks Steven what time he should tell the pilot to take off...and Claudia shoots him the stink-eye while knowingly clucking, "Mmm hmm.." Steven tightly replies that 2pm should be fine - and once Luke is out of hearing range, he swears to Claudia that this will be a strictly hanky panky-free business trip. 

"Ready for our overnighter in Santa Barbara, Steven?"

"Shut up and go wait for me on the plane."

Alexis gets a phone call from someone in London, warning her that Blake has hired PIs to look into Amanda's paternity. It remains unclear why he and Amanda don't just get blood tests and resolve this tedious 'is Blake the father of yet another long-lost Carrington heir?' subplot.

Alexis arrives at the hospital with brightly wrapped gifts and festive balloons to welcome the birth of Blake's spawn...and also to chastise him for hiring PIs to look into her past. She insists that Amanda isn't his daughter and wails, "You won't take her away!", and Blake growls at her for causing him grief when he's worried sick about his preemie newborn, then tells her to get lost 'cause right now he can't stand the sight of her. 

Krystle wakes up in her hospital bed and cries out, "My baby!" so Blake cooingly assures her that the tot is fine, though extremely teeny tiny, and is getting the best medical care. When Krystle asks him if he's being on the level with her, he promises he's not keeping anything from her...and that, on a different topic, he never actually meant for Ahmed to get killed. He then blames himself for her stunt double's spectacular staircase fall - but Krystle doesn't want to think about that now and is putting all of her mental energy towards willing her baby to survive.

Alexis is in her penthouse, sipping champagne while decked out in a ridiculously poofy white '80s gown. When she grumbles to Dex about not being in the mood for a dinner party with a bunch of boring bankers, he asks if she's in such a bad mood 'cause of her earlier squabble with Blake. She poutishly tells him that Blake hired PIs to investigate her, and Dex is like, "So? Do you have anything to hide?" and Alexis says she doesn't, and that she's continuing to stick to her story that a ski instructor impregnated her nine months before Amanda was born. Dex says he knows her well enough to tell when she's lying, and Alexis snarks back that she doesn't owe him an explanation, has a splitting headache, and zero desire to go to the bankers' dinner party. As she rushes upstairs to change out of her poofy monster gown, Dex storms onto the balcony and is startled to find Amanda standing there, staring at him with a wistfully poutish expression. She coquettishly says, "Hi" and remarks that it certainly does sound like Alexis is hiding something, then explains that she was out here getting some air when he and Alexis entered the room and started fighting...and rather than interrupt, she decided it would be more interesting to stay hidden and eavesdrop on their argument. She shoots him a blatant come hither look, runs her hand along his back, and asks if he'd to stay and talk - but when he gazes lustfully at her and caresses her face, she's all, "Ack!" and pulls away. He lets out a derisive snort and tells her to stop her damn teasing already and act like a mature adult...and she admits that, yep, he called her bluff, then scurries off like a frightened mouse.  

"I want to turn you on without you responding as if you've just been turned on."

"You're even weirder than your mother."

Steven calls Claudia to report that his business trip is going to take longer than expected 'cause he's been sooooo busy calming down a lot of people about the oil spill. Naturally, Luke knocks on the door of his bungalow at that moment...and Steven tells Claudia Luke just arrived for a one-on-one meeting and assures her that, no, they haven't given in to their inevitable-but-yet-unspoken feelings of desire. Luke tells Steven that Claudia reminds him of a French film star (um, not) before he "accidentally" spills a drink all over Steven's shirt. After a few erotic seconds of dabbing at the wet shirt, Steven snappishly tells him to stop it, and that he's going to change into a clean shirt. He rushes into the other room and stares contemplatively at himself in the mirror.

Blake brings Krystle to the NICU to see her baby, at which she coos, "She's beaaaaautiful." Blake tells her that sooner or later they're going to have to officially name her and reminds her that they had agreed on Emma - but Krystle says she recently had a dream about a very brave girl she knew a long time ago who saved her and a bunch of other kids during a fateful boating accident...blah blah...and that girl's name was Kristina. So Kristina it is.
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Amanda stops by the hospital to see Blake and extend her sympathies/concern/hopefulness about the baby's welfare, and Blake smiles goofily and says her uncanny ability to sense his moods reminds him sooooo much of Fallon. Even though it wouldn't take a genius to assume that Blake would be down in the dumps while his newborn is hanging on for dear life in the NICU. Amanda agrees that she feels pretty in sync with him and takes it as a compliment that she reminds him so much of his slutty eldest daughter.

Claudia calls Steven while he's showering...and naturally Luke enters the bungalow at that exact moment so he can answer the call and generate the maximum amount of suspicion to suggest that he and Steven are hooking up.  Claudia looks upset, says she's not going to bother leaving a message...and when Steven emerges from the bathroom a few seconds later, he's oddly mystified that Claudia didn't want to so much as pass on a hello. 

Claudia is aimlessly wandering the streets of downtown Denver when she happens to amble past Dean Caldwell's art gallery. He spots her, rushes outside, and invites her come in and join him for a cup of coffee...and in the next scene they're standing inside his gallery, chit-chatting about new artists. He asks her why she looks so bummed and correctly assumes it's 'cause of her untenable wife-beard situation with Steven, and she nods and says she feels as though he's slipping away. She tears up and says she feels empty and alone, and Dean tells her he cares and leans in for a smooch. She pulls away, but then decides 'aw fuck it, I've been a dutiful wife-beard long enough' and smooches him back.

"Why on earth would you ever consent to becoming Steven's wife-beard?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Jeff goes into Nicole's purse to look for some spare cash to tip a delivery boy and is aghast when he finds a photo of Peter De Vilbis he helpfully signed To Nicole, From Your Loving Husband, Peter...and I have to wonder if anyone, in the history of picture-taking, has ever autographed a photo of themselves before passing it along to a close family member. Jeff gets angry at Nicole and demands to know why she's never bothered to mention that she's Eurotrash's widow.

Dr. Miller drops by Krystle's hospital room with a grim look on her face. She informs Krystle and Blake that Kristina's latest blood tests have revealed that she suffers from a wide assortment of health problems that could result in seizures, brain dysfunction, and even death. As the two gasp and contort their faces in expressions of horror, Dr. Miller says they'll give the baby some blood transfusions and hope that that does the trick...but that there's no guarantee, given that she's pretty much teetering on the verge of death. 

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