Recap: Alexis returns to her penthouse and is aghast when she finds it completely trashed. She cries, "Oh my God!" then quickly gets back into the elevator and orders Harold the Concierge to call the police. Steven drops by Krystle's room at the La Mirage with Danny in tow. He thanks her for standing up for him in court, then says he's confident that the judge will rule in his favor. Krystle tells him she's pensively concerned about what this trial is doing to the family and remarks on how unfair Alexis' testimony against Blake was...but Steven just kind of shrugs and says that since Blake is the douchebag who started the lawsuit, he kind of had it coming. Over at Carrington manor, Adam and Blake are enjoying some father-son bonding time playing pool. Adam thanks Blake for not treating him like a total pariah anymore, and Blake smiles sanctimoniously and says he'd like them to have the kind of relationship he could never forge with the gay son he belittles, maligns, and publicly humiliates at every opportunity. Adam tells him that anything's possible and predicts that one day Steven will walk through his door again - but Blake says he's not so sure 'bout that, and that Steven has become Alexis' hostage and she's never going to let him go. He suddenly narrows his eyes, glares into space, and barks, "Never!" Um, OK, weirdo.
Alexis drops by Adam's office at Denver-Carrington to "bury the hatchet", and Adam shoots her the stink-eye and wryly asks, "In whom?" She tells him she'd really really like it if he moved back into the penthouse on account of he doesn't belong in Blake's mansion...plus she's scared shitless to live by herself in the huge apartment after it got burglarized. Adam says he's not interested and declines her offer to move back into the penthouse or, for that matter, return to his job at ColbyCo. Alexis reminds him that Denver-Carrington will soon be merging with ColbyCo, which means he'll be working for her again soon enough anyway - but Adam just shrugs and says he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it. As Danny's custody trial drags on, Fallon takes the stand and recalls Steven's homecoming from Singapore, and how tenderly he gazed down at his son and cooed, "My son, my son." She then talks about how she went to the nursery later that night to check on Baby Blake and found Steven standing over Danny's crib, watching over him in a tender, paternal manner. Awww.. Andy requests a recess and discreetly tells Blake he needs to brief the next witness. Blake warns Andy that he doesn't want Steven to be degraded or humiliated any more than is absolutely necessary, but Andy makes no promises and says, "We'll say what we have to, Blake." Alexis sashays over to Fallon to ask her if she can arrange a visiting schedule with Baby Blake, since Blake Senior banned her from the mansion after getting into a scrap with Kirby. Fallon looks less than thrilled by the prospect and mumbles, "I dunno, the baby has a routine..." then gets interrupted by the bailiff, who tells her she has a phone call from Billings, Montana. As Fallon rushes off to take the call, Alexis is like, "Billings..?" and stares after her concernedly. Alexis makes a beeline to Adam's office to ask him if there's anything in his past he's neglected to tell her...then informs him that Fallon is prying into his life, as evidenced by the phone call she just received from Billings. Adam says it's probably related to the "senile" doctor who was involved in the poisoning case he litigated...then assures his mother she needn't worry, 'cause he's threatened the doctor into submission and looks like he's going to follow his stern orders to keep his mouth shut. Alexis says she hopes Fallon doesn't uncover any unpleasant surprises, then bitchily warns her son not to count on her maternal loyalties after last season's tedious Jeff/toxic paint storyline. Fallon informs Jeff about her plans to travel to Montana to meet with an ex-foreman of a chemical plant as part of her impromptu investigation regarding a possible link between the mercuric oxide that was produced in his plant and Adam. She asks Jeff to come along, and after mulling it over for a few seconds, he's like, "Sure, what the hell?" Andy dramatically calls his next witness to the stand: Sammy Jo Dean Carrington. Yay! Sammy Jo's back in Denver! The blonde skanklet breezes into the courtroom donning a red dress and black hat, and pauses to smugly smirk as she glances around the room. When she takes the stand, she testifies that Blake did not try to purchase her son (as Alexis had claimed), but rather tried to persuade her to raise the baby herself. She openly admits she has zero interest in caring for an infant 'cause she'd much rather pursue a modelling career...and this prompts Alexis to roll her eyes derisively. Andy asks Sammy Jo if she's happy about her decision to give Steven full custody of Danny, and she poutishly contorts her lips and says, "I am not." She claims that Steven violated their "non homo" agreement when he decided to shack up with his gay lover...and when Chris tries to object to their relationship being mischaracterized, Steven orders him to shut it. Andy then asks Sammy Jo about the interaction between Steven and the sleazy photographer, Ace, she worked with while languishing in Hollywood...and Sammy Jo puts her somber face on and testifies that when she left the room, Steven made a gay play for Ace. While Chris is asleep at the switch and neglects to object to that statement as heresay, Steven leaps up and shrieks, "Lying tramp!" and gets admonished by the judge. Andy then asks Sammy Jo about the time Steven paid her a visit in New York shortly after the role was recast, and Sammy Jo contorts her face in an expression of disgust and says he took her to a gay restaurant - a favourite of his and Ted Dinard's - and started to ogle a man right in front of her! She then claims that he sent her home in a taxi so he could stay and "do his own thing". Her lies are too much for Steven to bear, and he jumps to his feet and yells, "Liar! You're lying!" An irked Blake warns Andy he wasn't supposed to go this far, so Andy explains, "You can't have it both ways"...which, true enough. When Chris gets up to cross examine, he asks Sammy Jo why she's lying to the court, then suggests she's trying to exact revenge against Steven. She denies it, then testifies that she divorced Steven because she wanted a hetero husband who loves her and who she could love back...then pulls out a tissue and starts fake crying. Chris looks unmoved and calls her on the fact that there are no actual tears coming out of her eyes.
Adam arrives at the mansion and hears "Moonlight Sonata" being played from one of the sitting rooms. (Incidentally, I wonder whatever happened to the music room from the pilot episode that was adjacent to the ballroom and housed all the instruments; we never see that room anymore.) Adam finds Kirby playing the piano and tells her it's a shame she's not outside, enjoying the lovely day. She snarks at him to mind his own business, so he assures her she has no reason to be afraid [of being sexually assaulted by him again]. A maid suddenly appears in the doorway to tell Kirby that Jeff's on the phone for her...and during the call, Jeff tells her that he and Fallon have to stay in Billings overnight 'cause they're in the process of investigating a local chemical company. Adam overhears her reveal Jeff's and Fallon's whereabouts and concernedly stares into space. When it's Steven's turn to take the stand, he testifies that, contrary to his ex-wife's claim, he got so angry at Ace for photographing Sammy Jo nearly nude that he physically threw him out of the studio. Um, sorry - but I'm going to have to object and call bullshit on that one 'cause all Steven did was argue with Ace...and if it pleases the court, I'd like to submit Exhibit A, from my recap of The Gun: The photographer, whose name is Ace (yes, really), takes a few shots of Sammy Jo's lithe body, then mounts her, and the two start making out. He grunts, "I want you out of that bikini" and Sammy Jo's like, "Tee hee, OK" and is in the process of getting naked when Steven suddenly bursts into the room. He demands to know what's going on, then gets into a shouting match with Ace. Sammy Jo intervenes and tells Ace she'd like a few minutes alone with her husband, and he obliges and leaves the room. So there, continuity-challenged writers. As for the New York visit, Steven explains that he tried to convince Sammy Jo to return with him to Denver...and that she stormed out of the restaurant - not because he was ogling a man, but because he made it clear to her that they'd have to live within their means on his measly salary. Chris switches gears and asks him to explain why he's a good father, so Steven says that Danny is the only reason he returned to Denver...and from the moment he first saw the tot, loving and nurturing him has become the focal point of his life. When Andy gets up to cross-examine, he gruffly reminds the court about the one thing that has been missing from the case thus far: Steven's sexual preference. He recaps Steven's ill-fated relationship with Ted Dinard, breezing over the fact that Ted was manslaughtered to death by his client, and says that Steven is living with his gay lawyer. Andy asks Steven to confirm that he and Chris are, in fact, gay lovers...but Steven just angrily scrunches his face and snaps, "That's my business" and refuses to elaborate. The judge orders him to respond, but Steven stubbornly remains mute and says he has every right to live his life any way he chooses. The judge throws in the towel and says he'll be rendering a decision after today's "illuminating testimony". Uh oh...that can't be good for Steven. At the defence table, Chris tells Steven he really screwed the pooch by not clarifying that their relationship is platonic, then asks him why he stayed mute...but Steven just stares into space and refuses to respond.
That evening, Steven, Chris, and Claudia are having dinner in the apartment. Chris tells Steven he'd hate to see him lose his son because of a principle, so Steven explains that he needs to win custody of Danny by sticking to his principles, and adds, "Otherwise, what kind of man am I?" (I dunno...a joyless, whiny curmudgeon who can't seem to decide, for once and for all, which team he wants to play for?) Chris is like, "Whatever" and heads to his room to work some more on the case. Claudia and Steven canoodle for awhile, and Steven invites her to stay the night, then moans, "God I need you." Claudia says she'd love to stay over, but has an important errand to run...and then hastily exits the apartment. Jeff and Fallon are at a hotel bar in Billings, discussing how to track down the judge that presided over Adam's mercuric oxide case. Jeff gazes at her with admiration and tells her how impressed he is that she's no longer the vapid tart she was when he first married her. She blushes and asks him if Kirby is upset about them spending the night in Montana, but he just shrugs and says, "I have no idea" and complains about his wife's alarmingly squirrelly behavior. In the next scene, Jeff walks Fallon to her hotel room and admits that part of him will never stop loving her, then leans in for a smooch and coos, "You're the first girl I've ever loved." He asks her what she's thinking, and she gazes at him wantonly while declaring, "I want you right now." He reminds her how far away the rest of the world is from them right now, then turns off the lights and steers her toward the bed. Mmm hmm.. Blake drops by the La Mirage to try to convince Krystle that he had no idea Sammy Jo would lie on the stand about Steven...even though any halfwit would have figured it to be a foregone conclusion. He tells her he merely wanted to prove that Alexis' testimony about him trying to purchase Danny was a lie, and Krystle mulls that over and says she believes him. Blake then sheepishly says she was right, and admits that this court case has done nothing but bring heartache to everyone involved...and even if he won, it would be a hollow victory. No shit, douchenozzle. Claudia drops by Sammy Jo's room at the La Mirage and orders her to retract all the lies she told on the stand. Sammy Jo denies lying, then taunts Claudia by pointing out that even though she was the first woman to bed Steven, she wasn't good enough to land him. She then mocks her for being really loony if she expects her to retract her testimony, and calls Steven a "gutless wonder" for sending her to fight his battles. For some reason, that last thing enrages Claudia, and she smacks Sammy Jo hard across the face...and Sammy Jo glares at her and smacks her back, and then Claudia gives her a re-smack. Fortunately they leave it there, and a triumphant looking Claudia struts out of the room.
Claudia returns to Steven's apartment in the middle of the night carrying a suitcase. When Steven sleepily answers the door, she tells him he needs to trust and believe in her...then says she can't allow him to lose Danny. She chirps, "I've got the answer!" and Steven's all, "Wha-a?" and just stares back at her mutely. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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