Recap: Blake is packing for a trip to Washington D.C., where he plans to give the bigwigs the what for for dragging their feet on extending his shale oil loan. Krystle is standing in the closet, pensively flashbacking to the previous episode when Mark informed her that they were still legally married. Blake asks her whassup with her pensiveness, and she tells him she was just thinking. She swiftly changes the subject and says she hopes that Joseph won't be peeved that he (Blake) went ahead and packed his own bag for the trip, and Blake jokes that Joseph's packing skills suck 'cause all he ever packs are boring grey outfits. He asks her if she's upset that he's not taking her along to D.C., then tells her the trip is strictly business and promises that they'll celebrate when he comes home with "the prize". Krystle assures him she's not mad and pretends that the only reason she's so discombobulated is 'cause she drank too much at Fallon's party last night. Joseph enters the room with one of his underlings and looks miffed that Blake took it upon himself to pack his own bag. Blake ignores his majordomo's hurt expression and kisses Krystle goodbye, then reminisces about their wedding for no real reason...and after he leaves, she looks even more pensive than she did a few minutes earlier. Alexis is on the phone with a Washington bigwig named Spencer, informing him that Blake is on his way there to try to save his company. She bitchily orders Spencer to personally see to it that Blake does not get the money he needs for his shale oil project...then threatens that things will go very badly for him if he doesn't put a stop to it. Blake and Congressman McVane are on the private jet, en route to Washington. Blake promises the congressman that he'll keep bribe money flowing into his coffers as long as he keeps doing his bidding. He smugly says, "Money is mother's milk to a politician, especially when he's running for reelection" then sanctimoniously declares that his plan to extract shale oil isn't merely what's best for Denver-Carrington, it's best for the whole country...and that makes him a national hero. McVane rolls his eyes and guzzles his Bloody Mary, and an agitated Blake barks, "Have you been listening to me?!" LOL. Blake tells the congressman that it's crucial he do everything possible to help him get an extension for his loan, and McVane makes a face and retorts, "Why? So you can squeeze some oil out of some shale?" Hee! Blake snappishly retorts, "So I can squeeze a hell of a lot of oil out of some shale" then glares at McVane and bitchily suggests he start drinking coffee 'cause he wants him sober for the busy day ahead.
Krystle is wandering about her bedroom, pensively wringing her hands. She stares over at the phone for a few seconds, then picks up the receiver and dials Mark's number. Kirby drops by ColbyCo to visit Jeff and wish him a good first day as co-president, then thanks him for being "so gallant" last night and rescuing her from creepy Adam. She bashfully lowers her large Bambi eyes and says she hopes he's not angry with her for kissing him last night, and Jeff furrows his crazy caterpillars and goes, "With you? Never." Jeff's secretary buzzes to tell him that some guy named Ralph is on the phone to give him an update about Steven's whereabouts, and Kirby takes that as her cue to leave. She heads over to the elevators and - ack! - literally bumps into Adam. He gets all grabby-hands with her again and as he's mauling her arms he says, "You're always leaving me." She tells him she has nothing to say to him, so he apologizes if he offended her at the party, then invites her to dinner later. She tells him she's busy working, and he says he heard she's taking care of "the little Colby prince." He tells her she's much too pretty to spend her time caring for his nephew, and that she should be thinking about having babies of her own. Kirby scoffs and replies, "You have the babies. I'm busy" and stomps into the elevator...and instead of gaining any self awareness about how this is now the second time in two days he has sexually harassed a woman who is so clearly icked out by him, Adam chuckles at Kirby's spirited sass.
Fallon's cooing over Baby Blake in the nursery when Kirby enters the room with freshly laundered towels. She tells Fallon that the tot uttered his first word earlier - mama - then tried to pull himself out of his crib [and make a run for it]. Fallon's all, "Awww!" and gives her son one last cuddle, then tells Kirby she's off to the La Mirage to bid adieu to Count Pierre. Kirby sheepishly admits that she knows the count, then tells Fallon she was never actually engaged to Jean-Paul and doesn't know how to break the news to her father. (Why would it even be necessary at this point?) Fallon says she totally gets that, and quips that all fathers like to think their daughters are virgins...then assures Kirby she won't stick her nose in her personal business (since she doesn't really give that much of a rat's ass about it), and heads off to work. Krystle meets Mark in an outdoor wooded area - probably the same place she used to secretly meet with Matthew in Season 1. When he declares that she's technically still his wife, she reminds him what a shit he was to her during their marriage. She accuses him of coming to Denver to extort money out of her - but he vehemently denies that and says he just wants her to believe that their divorce was never finalized. She pulls out the divorce decree, and he calls it "a phony document that just looks official" and explains that he bought it for $100 from a lawyer he stumbled across in a Mexican bar. LOL. Krystle asks him why their fake divorce is coming to light after all this time, so Mark explains that Mrs. Colby hired a detective to look into the matter, then tracked him down in New York. Krystle looks puzzled and argues that Fallon has never been to New York, so he explains that by Mrs. Colby, he means Alexis. Krystle looks shocked (even though it's really not very shocking) and mutters, "Alexis has sunk to a new level." When Mark returns to the La Mirage, Fallon bitches at him for cancelling all of his tennis lessons for the day...and Mark tells her to go pee up a rope and stalks off. Mark has just finished showering and is wearing a towel around his waist - showcasing his muscular, hairy chest - when Fallon drops by his room with some champagne. She apologizes for her bitchitude and asks him why he's so bummed out, and he fibs and says it's 'cause he's getting audited by the IRS. Fallon doesn't buy that lie and says she knows he's bummed out because of Krystle, then tells him she saw them talking at her party. Mark snarls, "It's none of your business" then hands her the bottle of champagne and tells her to get lost. Fallon looks amused and clucks, "Temper, temper. It's not my fault you didn't turn her on. Must be losing your touch." Mark growls, "Says who?" and then grabs Fallon and aggressively smooches her. She decides that he hasn't lost his touch after all, then breezily says she merely dropped by to check on her investment and exits the room. Jeff informs Fallon that he got a call about Steven, and that it's been discovered he's working on an oil rig in the Java Sea near Indonesia, and Fallon's all, "Wha-a?!" Aboard the oil rig, we get a glimpse of the back of New Steven's head. I guess the producers didn't want to unveil him to viewers until he gets a new face after the old one blows off during the oil rig explosion. (Oops...spoiler!) He stays carefully hidden in the shadows as he chats with Ben, his friend who mailed Fallon the letter from Hong Kong. Ben recalls that the letter had no return address and asks Steven how his family is supposed to write him back, and Steven says, "They can't." Ben looks befuddled and says he has a rich family and people who care about him, but Steven just grumps that he (Ben) is so lucky he has no one to answer to. Ben replies, "That's dumb. Real dumb" and Steven's like, "Whatever" and says he needs to get some sleep. Back at Carrington manor, Krystle is packing, but refuses to tell Joseph where she's going. He asks her what he's supposed to tell Blake, and she says to tell him that she had important business to take care of in Mexico. Joseph nosily asks, "Where in Mexico?" but she just blows off his questions and barks, "I'll be in touch" and heads out. In the next scene, Krystle has arrived in Acapulco and is talking to a Mexican official with a really funny looking '80s page boy hairdo. He tells Krystle that her no-divorce situation doesn't look so good, since there's no record that divorce papers were filed to end hers/Mark's marriage. Krystle tells him it's imperative that she locate the lawyer who issued the phony decree, and Bad Hairdo says he'll do his best to track him down. This seems like a stupid amount of trouble to go through when she could simply file for divorce now, and then remarry goat daddy.
Blake is back at Denver-Carrington, trying to track down Krystle. He barks over the phone to one of his flunkies to call the American embassy in Mexico City to see if he knows anything about her whereabouts...'cause surely the ambassador has nothing better to do with his time. Adam arrives, after being summoned by Blake, and Blake smugly informs him that his shale oil loan has been secured - despite Alexis' efforts to sabotage him with Congressman McVane at last night's party. Adam says he doesn't know anything 'bout that and pretends to be happy that it all worked out for him. Blake says they've both grown to care for each other...but sternly clarifies that these warm and fuzzy feelings do not extend to Alexis, and calls her "the enemy". Adam's like, "Well that's awkward" and reminds him that he works very closely with his mother. Blake tells him that Alexis operates on her passion and high temper, whereas he (Adam) is cool and logical (which is fairly typical of sociopaths). He then orders Adam to "ride herd" on his mother (!), and Adam snaps back that he's not a watchdog, and points out that Alexis is a very strong lady. Blake gruffly warns him that Alexis will get hurt 'cause she's not equipped to play in his league - bwahahaha! - and if he cares anything about her, he should warn her off. Adam says he doesn't want to get between him and Alexis, then asks Blake what would happen if he had to engage in the fight alongside his mother...and Blake glares at him and snarls, "I'd fight hard, with everything in me." Adam grimaces, then coolly says he has a busy day head, and stalks out of the office. Blake's secretary buzzes to inform him that the ambassador (or whoever) tracked Krystle to Guadalajara, where she was until yesterday. Blake bitchily retorts, "That's no good, damn it! I need to know where she is now!" At the mansion, a sick/sweaty looking Jeff is getting ready for work when Kirby glances into his room and notices that he looks like he's about to fall over. She asks him whassup with his shakiness, and he smiles and replies, "Nothing. I always do that when I'm thinking." Er, OK..? She chides him for not getting enough sleep or relaxation, then starts massaging his shoulders...and he purrs, "Mmm...that feels good." After the quick rub-down, he says he has to get to the office, and weakly heads off. When Kirby looks over at the window, she notices - ack! - that her father has witnessed the entire exchange between her and Jeff, and is shooting her a disapproving stink-eye. Joseph hauls Kirby over to the kitchen to lecture her about getting too close to a Colby/Carrington and says that rich people are shit and that they use people. Hmm...interesting. Maybe his worship of Blake is all just a front to keep his cushy majordomo gig. Kirby fibs and tells him that Jeff was upset about something and asked her to rub his neck - LOL - but Joseph doesn't buy that and says he's seen the way she and Jeff stare hungrily at each other. He orders her to go back to Paris and patch things up with Jean-Paul, and Kirby suddenly tears up and says she can't, since Jean-Paul was never her fiancé; he was a married man. She hurls herself into her father's arms and starts sobbing, and Joseph is all, "Wha-a?"
Jeff is in his office, looking sweaty and fatigued as he's slowly being poisoned to death by the grisly blue paint. When Adam enters the room, Jeff snarks at him for not responding to a memo. Adam claims he never received it, but Jeff insists he signed it and sent it to him. Adam asks him if he can look for it, then rifles around his desk and just happens to locate it in a folder, unsigned. Jeff is all, "Wuh?", then sheepishly apologizes...and Adam smirkingly replies, "No problem" and asks him if he's OK, since he's not looking so good. Jeff says he hasn't been getting enough sleep, and Adam nods fake sympathetically and says it's probably difficult to work in his dead uncle's office. After he leaves, Jeff rubs his temples and sweats some more. In Acapulco, Bad Hairdo confirms for Krystle that her divorce decree was, indeed, forged. He's like, "Good luck with that" and leaves her hotel room...and a few seconds later there's a knock on the door, and - ack! - it's Blake. Krystle looks surprised and happy to see him, and the two hug. He smilingly tells her she's been a difficult lady to catch up with, and she tears up. Considering all the trouble he had to go through to find her, I'm surprised he's not acting like his usual prickly douchewad self. Krystle explains the entire Mark/divorce/non-divorce situation to Blake, and he clucks sympathetically and says she didn't have to go through this alone. No duh. She says she didn't want to bother him 'cause he's been so busy trying to extend his shale oil loan, but he insists that nothing is more important to him than her. He assures her that they'll meet with his lawyers in the morning and sort all this out. The two start smooching, and Blake suggests going out for a romantic dinner. Krystle chooses that moment to have a flashback of her meeting with Mark in the wooded area, when he declared that she was still his wife. She's suddenly so overcome with emotion that she drops her drink, and Blake furrows his brows and asks whassup...and she says, "Nothing, I'm just tired." Alexis sweeps down the stairs of her penthouse wearing a silk negligee and a fabulous fur trimmed silk robe. She says good morning to Adam, then admonishes him for not showing up to some party he was supposed to attend last night. He wryly tells her he opted to stay home and watch the news reports of Blake's trip to Washington. (LOL - must have been a slow news day in Denver.) Alexis mutters, "We'll see about that" and Adam snidely quips, "I thought you were going to see about that." She tells him not to be so insolent, and he snarls that he wants ColbyCo to devour Denver-Carrington and blames her for not making that happen. She coolly retorts, "What you think doesn't interest me" - hee! - and reminds him that she's a Colby and he isn't. She then switches gears and says she heard he met with Blake yesterday, and he confirms he did and that Blake is very tired of her manipulations and ready to do battle. Alexis chuckles and says, "Bring it on" then warns Adam that she knows more about life and ColbyCo than he ever will, and that she can teach him a few things - like manners, for instance. She tells him that Steven has impeccable manners, and Adam derisively snarls, "The wayward homosexual?" Alexis icily replies, "The always polite, sometimes misunderstood young man. Who was never rude to his mother." She tells Adam that he could learn a lot from Steven, and Adam contorts his face with rage and storms out. Back at Carrington manor, Krystle is trimming a Bonsai tree when Blake enters the room and informs her that she's being granted a divorce by the state of Colorado due to desertion, and it will take ninety day to process. He jokes, "We'll just have to live in sin" then suggests they take a trip to Hawaii to complete the honeymoon they never finished in Season 1. Ew. Krystle looks surprised at how unfazed he is over all this, then says her divorce isn't over yet. Blake stares back at her in confusion, so she explains that Mark is "a mixed up, complex man" (LOL) and that she should prolly go talk to him about the impending divorce before the lawyers do. She wants to make amends for all the horrible things she said to him (the fuck?) and Blake gets irked and asks her if she still has feelings for the taut, hairy chested tennis pro. She insists she doesn't and that she just wants to talk to him...and Blake snaps, "I wonder about that!" then abruptly cancels Hawaii and storms out of the room. That scene was completely nonsensical. Fallon drops in on Blake at his office in Denver-Carrington to ask the latest about Steven's whereabouts. Blake's like, "I dunno" and Fallon chides him for not making Operation Find Steven his top priority. (Um...wasn't Fallon just informed that he was on an oil rig in the Java Sea? Was that not specific enough?) She begs him to find Steven and convince him to return to Denver...and Blake hems and haws about that for a little while, then finally gives in and agrees to make more of an effort to locate his wayward son. Back to the Java Sea.. The oil rig crew wakes up and gets ready for work...and Steven's back faces the camera as he gets dressed and trudges toward the door. A few seconds later, we get an external shot of the oil rig - and suddenly it explodes! NOOOOO!!! Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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