Recap: Fallon arrives home and finds Jeff in the kitchen drinking wine, and the two share some amiable chit-chat. She tells him she's been working late 'cause the La Mirage is fully booked due to a medical convention that's in town...and Jeff tells her that Kirby's earlier-than-usual morning sickness is bumming them both out and he's hopeful she'll "snap out of it" soon. He adds that they're planning on going house-hunting...and Fallon looks sad, but concedes that it's reasonable for Kirby to want to raise their child someplace that isn't the Carrington mansion. She tells Jeff she'd really like it if their baby could be close to his/her half-sibling [spoiler: cousin], Baby Blake, and Jeff agrees that that would be fantastic. Upstairs in the master bedroom, Blake sadly stares at a photo of himself and Krystle. He phones the La Mirage and asks to be connected to Krystle's suite, then quickly changes his mind and hangs up. Steven drops by the mansion to pick up a letter from Claudia. He tells Fallon that Chris moved into his apartment last night, and Fallon smiles approvingly and says he doesn't need to be defensive about his decisions 'cause he's entitled to live his life the way he wants. She gives him a hug and says she loves him...and assures him that Blake loves him too, despite his relentless homophobic dickishness. Fallon joins Blake in the dining room, and he asks her whassup with her glumness. She sighs and says it seems like the whole family is breaking apart: Steven and Krystle have moved out, and Jeff's and Kirby's departure is imminent. She implores him to convince Krystle to move back into the mansion, but Blake says that she made the decision to leave on her own, and he wants her to return the same way. Mark joins Krystle as she breakfasts in the La Mirage restaurant. He asks her how they both ended up in Denver with such rich, rotten people...and when she just stares pensively at him, he says he's planning on leaving town and invites her to run away with him. As friends. Krystle says she's not at all interested in doing that and declares, "It's time for me to be my own woman" and says she plans to stay in Denver and make a life for herself as Krystle Grant. Mark nods approvingly, then narrows his eyes all sinister-like and tells her she still has a score to settle with this town as Blake's ex-non-wife. Krystle stares back at him in pensive confusion and is all, "Wha-a?!" Alexis arrives at Denver-Carrington and assures Blake that she comes in peace, and wants to bury the hatchet and discuss how to improve their failing business merger. She says that Steven has done an excellent job analyzing potential opportunities in the South China Sea, but Blake shrugs disinterestedly and says he's got other things on his mind...and by other things, he means Krystle. Alexis says she heard about Krystle moving into the La Mirage and says it's probably the best thing that could have happened to him...and to them. Blake barks, "What the hell are you talking about?" so she coquettishly tells him they're both older, wiser, still attractive, and share three wonderful children. An icked out Blake says he can tolerate "an unholy business alliance" with her...but as for anything personal, he shakes his head in disgust and mutters, "Lie down with rattlesnakes, get up with fangs in your neck." Alexis says it's foolish for him to be in love with Krystle and points out that if he really loved her, he never would have bitched her out so loudly after their cat fight in the lily pond. She smugly adds, "You can't pretend it didn't happen!" and flounces out of his office. Arson suspect #1: Adam Carrington Steven drops by Adam's office to needlessly announce that he's off to the funny farm to pay Claudia a visit. Adam makes a snarky remark about him having a friend who's a total nutter who's been committed to a sanitarium, and Steven gets all prickly and snaps that Claudia's a recovering nutter. Adam advises him to steer clear of that train wreck and reminds him how deeply troubled she is (like he's one to talk). Steven snaps at him to back off and let him live his own life...and as he's saying that, Alexis suddenly appears in the doorway and orders her sons to stop arguing. Steven says he's leaving and that Adam can fill her in on their conversation...and Adam slams the door after him and bellows, "He blocks me at every turn!" Alexis chides him for hurting Steven's feelings and asks, "What did you finally call him? A faggot?" and Adam insists he didn't use the f-word, but Alexis poutishly says she won't tolerate him attacking Steven. Adam advises her not to play favorites, and she snaps back, "It is my right to play anything I wish, just as it is my right to change anything I wish: my clothes, my hairstyle, my will." At the mention of the word will, Adam pales and is all, "Wha-a?" and Alexis announces that, yes indeed, she's going to change her will, like pronto, and cut him out until he can demonstrate that he deserves a share of ColbyCo. Adam stares at her in bewilderment and snaps, "You can't be serious!" and she retorts, "Can't I?" and picks up the phone and calls her lawyer, Gerald. She summons him to her office for a rewrite of her will...and as she's conversing with Gerald, she and Adam exchange hateful glares. When Steven arrives at the funny farm, he gets an emergency call from his roommate/lover/whatever they are to each other, Chris. Apparently, the baby nurse's brother was in an accident, so she's unable to perform her duties today - but Chris promises Steven he'll look after the little gaffer until he returns home. Arson suspect #2: Morgan Hess Alexis brusquely informs Morgan Hess that their business together is over - and he says he's good with that, but asks her if she could spot him $45,000 so he can pay off his gambling debt and not be followed by the unsavory henchman who's currently tracking his every move. He desperately cries, "Lady, this goon is after my blood. I need help, damn it!" and Alexis whirls around dramatically, tells him to get help elsewhere, and order him to get the hell out of her office. Hess shoots her an angry glare and snaps, "You'll be sorry, Mrs. Colby!" but Alexis just chuckles, tells him to stop with the cliche lines, and to buy himself a new blazer, cause the one he's been wearing lately is a fugly eyesore. Ouch...but, yeah, it is pretty hideous. Adam arrives at La Mirage to give Dr. Jonas Edwards the what-for for coming to Denver and getting all in his bidness. Dr. Edwards admits that part of the reason he came was, in fact, to check up on him and make sure his "old problem" hadn't resurfaced. Adam assures him he's no longer experimenting with drugs, and describes his complete mental breakdown as "a tiny incident". Fallon suddenly appears and joins them at the bar, and Dr. Edwards unwittingly reveals Adam to be a liar when he mentions that he's known Adam ever since he was a baby. Fallon shoots Adam a WTF? stare and says, "That's not what he told me", and Adam promptly flees in order to avoid explaining himself. Dr. Edwards tells Fallon that Adam gets very passionate when he believes in what he's fighting for...and that this was evidenced when he once defended a man who went cuckoo and attacked his co-worker. It was later discovered that the attacker's brain was distorted by the poison chemical, mercuric oxide. Apparently, Adam was able to get the man off on the grounds that he was temporarily insane when he committed the violent act. Fallon carefully mulls over this fascinating intel. Arson suspect #3: Mark Jennings Alexis calls Krystle from her penthouse and tells her that Steven has summoned the two of them to his cabin in order to discuss Danny and all the roadblocks Sammy Jo is putting in the way of him getting full custody...even though it's been established that Sammy Jo signed all the necessary papers to give Steven legal custody of his son. Krystle questions the logic of Steven wanting to talk to her about this with Alexis present, but then throws all common sense to the wind and agrees to meet her at the cabin. Mark barges into the penthouse unannounced and orders Alexis to go with him to La Mirage and explain to Fallon how she ended up in his bed drinking champagne when she (Fallon) walked in on the two of them. Alexis chuckles and derisively retorts, "You've got to be joking" but Mark glares at her and says he's never been more serious. Alexis picks up the phone and calls security to throw out an unwanted guest, then chastises the guard for allowing Mark to enter her penthouse without her permission and slams the phone down. Mark throws in the towel and says he'll show himself out, then shoots her the stink-eye and warns, "I'm not finished with you, Alexis." Arson suspect #4: Neil McVane Neil McVane is in Blake's office, railing about how his party has thrown him off the ticket, and begs Blake for help in salvaging his tattered career. He wails, "This is my liiiiife!" but Blake says he can't do a whole lot 'cause he has zero political clout...plus, he (McVane) put himself in an indefensible position when he decided it was a good idea to doink a teenage girl. McVane downs a glass of hard liquor, then tears up and asks him why he stopped him from strangling Alexis. He growls, "Next time, please don't" and Blake chides him for making death threats and advises him to get sobered up and let go of any vendettas. McVane pretends to suddenly realize he needs to straighten himself out asap and ominously declares, "I have business to take care of." Andy arrives at Denver-Carrington and tells Blake he has the papers he wanted him to draw up, which allocates shares of Denver-Carrington to Danny (and names Steven as trustee). He asks Blake if he really thinks this is a good idea, then points out that Steven could opt to sign over the shares to Alexis, the way Jeff did when he was going squirrelly from the poison paint. Blake says that while he and Steven have a contentious father-son relationship, he knows in his soul that his son is a man of honor. Krystle runs into Fallon on her way out to the cabin. Fallon says she gets the feeling that going up to the cabin is a very bad idea, but Krystle says she wants to do all she can to help Steven protect his child. Arson suspect #5: Joseph Anders Joseph arrives at the penthouse to return the earring that Alexis lost during her scrap in the lily pond with Krystle, then apologizes for not being more enthusiastic when she ordered him to drain the pond. Alexis laughs at how humble he's pretending to be, then snatches the earring out of his hand. She invokes the horrible secret she's holding over his head regarding his late wife, and tauntingly says how easily she could be provoked into telling Kirby the truth about her wretched mother. Joseph stonily says he'd be forced to stop her, and she stares back at him in amusement and asks if that was a threat...then chuckles and says he's nothing but talk. Joseph glowers and retorts, "This isn't mere talk on my part. I would stop anyone who tried to hurt my child." Alexis continues to chuckle and asks him if he still keeps a scrapbook on her various exploits, then snidely urges him to creep home and flip through it, 'cause right now he's boring the shit out of her. Joseph shoots her the stink-eye and angrily storms out. Fallon makes a beeline over to the hospital to pepper Dr. Robinson with questions regarding Jeff's poisoning. She asks him if the chemical that was found in his system could have been mercuric oxide, and Dr. Robinson says yeah 'cause it's a neuro-toxin, then promises to look into it. Kirby arrives at ColbyCo and barges into Adam's office under the pretense of looking for Jeff. Adam looks happy to see her and remarks that she's glowing, and she smugly tells him she feels "terrifically aglow". He snarkishly asks her if she thinks she feels that way "because of a guy named Jeff, who's so nice and dull" then shakes his head with disgust and asks her how long she can go on playing the empty headed doll. [Well...she's managed to do it for seventeen episodes, so I'm sure the sky's the limit.] He demands to know, "Where's the passion? The excitement? The fulfillment?" then gets grab handsy with her the way he always does whenever they're in scenes together, but she shoves him away and saucily retorts, "I have all of them. Just as I have a great purpose in life." She breaks the news that she and Jeff are expecting a baby, and are off to the doctor for a prenatal appointment. She asks if this will finally put an end to his creepy fixation on her, then flounces out, leaving an angry looking Adam behind. Blake drops by Steven's apartment and scrunches his wrinkly face with confusion when Chris answers the door. Uh oh. Chris explains that Steven is away at the moment, and introduces himself as Steven's lawyer...and "friend". Blake narrows his beady little eyes and grunts, "I see" then remarks on how at home he seems in the apartment, and Chris explains that he moved in last night. (Run, Chris, run! Or quickly find a helmet!) When Danny suddenly gurgles from the other room, Chris starts to head down the hall to get him - but Blake blocks him, orders him to get out, and gruffly says he'll take care of the baby until Steven returns. Chris is all, "I don't understand - what have I done?" and Blake snarks that he doesn't want another gay hanging around Danny, then grabs his arm. Steven suddenly returns home and snaps at Blake to let go of Chris and warns, "Or I swear this time I'll be the one on trial for murder." If only. The two glare at each other until Blake exits the apartment, slamming the door behind him. The doctor is showing Kirby the sonogram photos of her spawn. She asks him if it's normal to have morning sickness during the first month of pregnancy, and the doctor informs her that she's actually in her third month. Kirby's all, "Wha-a?!" and has a flashback of when Adam raped her. The doctor tells her not to worry about her miscalculation, since plenty of women have premarital sex with their husbands. Kirby leaves his office looking discombobulated and then runs into Jeff, who's waiting in the hall for her. He notices her ashen expression and asks whassup, and she just stares back at him mutely. Over in Carrington manor, Andy chides Blake for manhandling Chris and reminds him what happened the last time he overreacted during an encounter with one of Steven's boyfriends. Blake assures him he's going to stay far away from Chris, then announces his plans to file for custody of Danny. Andy warns him about what a horrible idea that is, and that it will entail calling Steven an unfit parent, which will effectively destroy their relationship. Blake doesn't give a rat's ass 'bout that and growls, "I'll be damned if I'm going to let two gays raise that baby!" and Andy just stares back at the douchewad in hopeless dismay. When Krystle arrives at the cabin, Alexis informs her that Steven just called and said he'll be late. She offers Krystle a glass of champagne...and as she's doing that a mystery man -the arsonist - is lurking outside of the cabin, carrying cans filled with gasoline. Eeeeek! Krystle huffily declares that if Steven doesn't arrive in the next five minutes, she's leaving...and Alexis starts nattering some nonsense about the sisterhood of women who fall in love with powerful men who put their business interests ahead of personal ones. The arsonist, meanwhile, locks the front door of the cabin with a giant padlock. Alexis tells Krystle she's better off being split up from Blake (no argument there) and urges her to turn to Mark, since he's the sweet, dumb type who would put his woman ahead of everything. Now that all escape routes from the cabin have been blocked, the arsonist is pouring gasoline around the cabin. Krystle snarks that she didn't drive all the way out here to discuss reuniting with Mark, then finally gets a clue and realizes that Alexis was the one who set up this meeting. Alexis tells her that she and Blake are business partners, and that she (Krystle) is a distraction that neither she nor Blake needs. She pulls out a check and offers to pay Krystle $1 million to get out of Blake's life permanently. She points out that they're not even married anymore, and that her $1 million check is a helluva lot more than the pittance she'd get from her prenup: $100,000. Krystle mocks her for using money to try to worm her way back into Blake's life, and self righteously says she's rich in something far more valuable than cash: integrity. The arsonist, meanwhile, has now lit a fire to the gasoline surrounding the cabin. Eeeeek! Krystle heads for the door and is irked to find it locked. She asks Alexis what kind of game she's playing now, and Alexis is all, "Wha-a?!" and notices smoke coming in from under the door. The two freak out when they suddenly realize they're trapped by a massive fire surrounding the cabin. Krystle opens the shutters, but the flames everywhere make escape impossible...and Alexis nonsensically wails, "Every time you come into my life, something terrible happens!" Krystle's stunt double picks up a chair and throws it through a window, but that only makes the fire grow stronger. Alexis, meanwhile, turns on the kitchen faucet, and when nothing comes out, she shrieks, "There's no water! There's no water!" Krystle's stunt double trips and falls, and then Alexis tries to bolt across the room, but she too trips, hits her head, and is knocked out cold. Krystle calls out to her and then screams, "Oh my God!!" as the flames inch closer. She crawls over to Alexis and hovers over her uselessly...and then the camera pans out so we get an external view of the fiery cabin while hearing Krystle's anguished cries for help. Eeeeek! Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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