Recap: Blake arrives home after riding around in his limo for the last few hours in search of Jeff. He asks Krystle if she's seen or heard from him, and she says no - but that Fallon has locked herself inside her room to hide from her maniacal husband, and also contemplate the most expedient way of obtaining a quickie divorce. Blake heads upstairs and knocks on Fallon's door, and she lets him in and hugs him. When Blake winces at her ghastly neck bruises, she explains that she's keeping her door locked in case Jeff tries to burst in and "finish the job". She laments marrying him in the first place and is adamant about getting a divorce, whether or not she has her father's blessing. Blake says he understands her hurt and pain, but urges her to hold off on the divorce until he can get to the bottom of Jeff's loony behavior, but Fallon just shakes her head and wails, "He's insane!" Over at the penthouse, Alexis is pacing the length of her living room while furiously puffing on a cigarette. When Adam finally arrives home, she snaps, "Where the hell have you been?!" and he goes, "Out." She orders him to sit his ass down in the living room, which he obediently does. She reminds him - while dramatically shaking her head - that he blackmailed and threatened her at the end of the previous episode, then barks, "You didn't give me a chance to take that threat and slug it across your arrogant face!" Hee! Adam apologizes for the way he turned on her and let his temper get the better of him, then says he clearly inherited Blake's propensity for violence and acting like a giant douchebag. He then blames her and Blake for not searching hard enough for him after he was kidnapped...and Alexis rolls her eyes and says she's told him a hundred times that she didn't want to give up searching, 'cause she knew in her heart that he was still alive...and that Blake was the one who gave up on the search pretty early on. Alexis says it's wrong of him, however, to involve Jeff in his vendetta, and refuses to go along with slowly poisoning him to death. Adam insists that there's no danger to Jeff's life, then gets all pissy and threatens to walk away from his privileged new life and become "the lost Carrington" again. For some reason, Alexis doesn't like the sound of that awesome idea/solution and assures him she believes him (about Jeff not being in imminent mortal danger, I will assume) and the two kiss and make up.
Early the next morning, a sweaty, disheveled looking Jeff stumbles into the mansion and runs into Blake, who forcibly escorts him over to the nearest sitting room for a one-on-one chat. Blake admonishes him for nearly choking the life out of Fallon, but Jeff just shrugs and goes, "It got heavy, yeah." LOL. Blake bellows, "What the hell is wrong with you? Damn it! Answer me!" but Jeff just stares back at him blankly. Blake says he's worried that his unstable behavior is an indication that something is really wrong with him (ya think??), but Jeff gets all defensive, blames Fallon for his increasing squirrelliness, and rails at Blake for not loving him enough 'cause he's a Colby, not a Carrington. He nonsensically growls, "You're always going to side with your family against me, so don't ever call me 'son'!" and storms out. Fallon's packing for a trip to Haiti when Krystle comes in to see whassup. She warns Fallon that getting a divorce in a developing country could be a total disaster, then reminds her of the mess she's still in 'cause of her/Mark's faux Mexican divorce. I really can't believe that with all of Blake's money and resources they still haven't gotten that dumb thing sorted out. She wails, "We can't even adopt Danny until it's all straightened out!" Fallon thanks her for her concern, but insists on doing what's right for her...and what's right for her is divorcing the man who, yesterday, tried to strangle her to death. Sounds reasonable. She tearfully begs Krystle to understand that she neeeeeds to be divorced from nutty Jeff asap...and Krystle pensively nods and gives her a comforting hug. I guess these two really are BFFs now. Fallon gives Baby Blake a goodbye cuddle...and as she's doing that, Kirby stands in the doorway of the nursery, watching her. She tells Fallon that the night she stopped by Jeff's office to invite him to a movie (which, incidentally, is also the night Adam raped her), all Jeff wanted to talk about was how much he loves her. Fallon says she doesn't believe he feels that way about her now, particularly after the way he just tried to violently end her life. Mark is at the La Mirage, practicing serves when Fallon ambles onto the court. She thanks him for saving her life, and apologizes for dragging him into her personal shit. She tells him she's off to Haiti to obtain a quickie divorce, then tells him she's staying at a hotel in Port-au-Prince [and that if he's interested in following her there for a little Caribbean action, the staff at the front desk would be more than happy to give him the name and address of her hotel]. Over at ColbyCo, Blake has accompanied Fallon to Jeff's office to witness to Jeff 's signature on the divorce agreement...and make sure he doesn't try to strangle his daughter again. Blake tries to reason with him and says he'd like them to talk so he can get a clue about why he's been acting like such a crazed lunatic lately, but Jeff has no interest in doing that and bellows at the two of them, "Get the hell out of my office!" After Blake and Fallon beat a hasty retreat, Jeff phones Adam and orders him to come his office right now so they can gabble about how shady and untrustworthy Blake is. Adam is sitting in Jeff's office with his feet up, enjoying a drink and Jeff's deteriorating sanity, when Alexis bursts in, looking fantastic in a turtleneck coat and fur hat. She sympathetically coos at Jeff and says he looks pale and exhausted - and when he gives her a snarkish retort, she insists she's cared about him ever since he was a small boy. She shakes him and cries, "Don't you remember?!" then announces she's sending him away on a loooong vacation. Adam looks alarmed and goes, "Mother!" and Alexis whirls around, clearly unaware that her psychopath son was sitting there, listening. He says, "You're a little late", then explains that he's already convinced Jeff to take some time off, now that they've both reached "a very great moment" for ColbyCo. He asks Jeff if he'd like to tell Alexis about it, so a zonked Jeff tells her he signed over his son's shares of Denver-Carrington to ColbyCo. Alexis can't help looking intrigued, and when Adam tells her that Jeff also signed over his voting control at Denver-Carrington to her, she looks even more intrigued. Adam suggests they leave Jeff alone for now, so Alexis stares poutishly at Jeff, caresses his face, and promises they'll talk later. Outside in the hall, Alexis moans, "Oh God...what have you done?" and remarks that Jeff looks as though he's going out of his mind. Adam stares at her incredulously and says he just handed her Blake's head on a platter. He snaps, "What more do you want, mother?" and Alexis just contemplatively stares into space.
Adam orders a lavish lunch for himself and Alexis, then calls up Kirby to invite her to dinner 'cause, yeah, it's totally appropriate to ask the woman you raped four episodes ago out on a date. He brusquely tells her to just give him a yes or no, 'cause there's a lineup of women "out there" (meaning nowhere) waiting breathlessly for an invitation from a catch like him. When Kirby starts stuttering incoherently, he snaps, "Busy? Another guy?" and she says, "No, it isn't that", then mumbles something about the man of her dreams not calling her anytime soon...so yeah, what the fuck, she'll have dinner with him. That said, she wants him to understand that there will be no [consensual] doinking tonight. Adam retorts, "No fun and games for dessert again?" and she says no, and that if he's looking for that kind of action, he should call someone else. He accepts her terms, then says he's less interested in sexually assaulting her again than he is in figuring out how bright she is behind her sexy exterior. He barks, "I'll pick you up at eight" and abruptly hangs up. Such a charmer.
Alexis sees the lunch spread that Adam ordered and goes, "A bit lavish, isn't it?" and Adam chortles and says, "I never thought I'd hear you use that word on the downside." He tells her to smile and celebrate, then pours two glasses of champagne and says the ends always justify the means. Alexis says she's not so sure 'bout that, then asks him if he has any regrets about poisoning Jeff and causing him to spiral into madness. Adam mulls that over for about half a second and goes, "Nope. None." Alexis stares back at him in horrified dismay and says, "Well, I do" and says she has plenty of regrets about the various shitty things she's done in her life. Adam asks, "Like the way you cost Krystle her baby?" and Alexis haughtily denies costing Krystle her baby, then goes, "Why? What have you heard?" He smugly tells her he's made it his business to find out everything about everyone in the Colby/Carrington clan. Alexis walks over to Adam and starts stroking the back of his head (which looked really weird) and breathily murmurs, "My son...my firstborn child. Sometimes I wonder..." She wonders if he'd be less of a psychopath if she'd been the one who raised him from babyhood, but Adam says he's pretty sure he would have turned out sick and demented either way. Fallon's on the Carrington jet, which is about to take off for Haiti. Blake implores her to put off her trip until he can find out whassup with Jeff, but she insists on going ahead with divorcing her lunatic husband. She assures Blake she loves him and appreciates how hard he's fought for her marriage...but after her near strangulation at Jeff's hands, she's no longer interested in having anything more to do with that relationship. Sounds reasonable. A sweaty, disheveled Jeff stumbles into the nursery to cuddle Baby Blake. He picks him up, coos to him about how they're going to do lots of father/son stuff together...then in the next breath tells the tot he feels old and wonders if he'll be alive much longer. Downstairs, Joseph answers the phone - and it's Mark calling for Fallon. Joseph tells him she's already left for the airport...and then Jeff, who's been eavesdropping, suddenly walks over, grabs the phone and snaps, "That's right, Jennings. She's gone. Thanks to you, she's gone, ya creep!" He slams the phone down and storms out. Blake calls the mansion looking for Jeff, and Joseph tells him he's on his way to the La Mirage. That can't be good. Jeff bursts onto the La Mirage tennis courts while Mark is instructing one of his trainees. She sassily bitches at Jeff, "Hey mister - we're playing, in case you didn't notice!" Haha! Jeff tells Mark he's here on unfinished business, so the woman asks Mark whassup with this guy and wonders aloud if he's crazy. Jeff snaps, "Being right isn't crazy!" and starts railing incoherently at Mark. Mark wearily tells him to get lost, but Jeff refuses to leave the court and challenges him to a duel in the form of a tennis match, then picks up a racket and starts firing balls at Mark. Blake, meanwhile, enters the court and urges Jeff to stop acting like a lunatic and to exit the court with him, but Jeff refuses and barks, "Forget it! I have one more score to settle - then it's to hell with the lot of you!" He and Mark bat the ball back and forth for what seems like an unnecessarily looooong time...and when Jeff finally misses a return, he collapses onto the ground. Blake rushes over to him, orders Mark to call an ambulance, then cradles Jeff in his arms and moans, "What's happening to you, son?"
Alexis rushes over to the hospital and runs into Krystle, who informs her that Blake is the only person the doctors have authorized to be in Jeff's room. Alexis asks what caused Jeff's collapse, so Krystle tells her that the doctors are running tests...and at that moment, Adam steps off the elevator and saunters over to them. Alexis stammers, "Tests? Why?" then says there's no need for any tests on a young, healthy man like Jeff. Krystle shoots her a WTF? look, so Alexis pivots and accuses Krystle of keeping information from her. Adam interjects and says he's very sorry to hear about Jeff's collapse, then tells his mother he should get her home, like pronto, before she unwittingly spills the beans about the toxic blue paint. He steers her over to the elevator, and once they're safely inside he assures her again that Jeff isn't going to expire. Alexis says she's actually more worried about what the doctors will find when they run their tests...and that they'll be able to tie the poison in his system to "that miserable paint" on his office walls. Adam tells her he's going to remove the panels from Jeff's office, refinish the walls, then have them painted with regular, non-toxic paint...and, yeah, the timing of that won't be suspicious at all. Blake emerges from Jeff's hospital room and tells Krystle he's still unconscious. Krystle tells him that Alexis was just here, and was acting very weird. She says she has a feeling that Alexis knows more about all this than she was letting on. Fallon is lounging in the bar of her Port-au-Prince hotel. She gets chatted up by a frizzy haired blonde woman, who says she's in the process of getting her third divorce. The woman decides that she no longer wants deep, involved entanglements with men, since they all turn out to be creeps anyway. Krystle tells Joseph she's heading over to the hospital again, and when Joseph frowns and looks troubled, she asks him whassup. He tells her that Kirby is out with Adam tonight, so Krystle asks, "Is that a problem?" and Joseph is like, "Well, d'yuh" and says that Adam seems to be heavily influenced by his horrible mother. Krystle reminds him that Kirby's a grown woman, and that he really can't dictate to her who she can date...and he nods in half-hearted agreement. There's a knock on Fallon's hotel room door at 3am. She asks who it is, and the guy on the other side of the door says, "Room service"...and of course it's Mark, who, not surprisingly, followed her to Haiti. He's all, "Surprise!" and hands her a fruity drink. She asks him what he's doing here, then tells him not to get the wrong idea about her, 'cause she's definitely not looking to fall into another man's arms. Mark looks fake insulted and insists that he just came to keep her company - and Fallon, who clearly doesn't buy that, tells him he should save himself for his tennis playing ladies. Hee! Mark insists he didn't fly here to score and says, "Don't color me as a dude on the make." Fallon apologizes for jumping to [what are probably some pretty accurate] conclusions, and Mark heads out and tells her he only came to Haiti to let her know she's not alone...and, oh yeah, if she needs him for anything he's just down the hall. Mmm hmm...there's no way that guy's not a dude on the make.
Adam and Kirby are dining at a fancy restaurant. She apologizes for being so glum and says she probably should have canceled their date 'cause she's rotten company when she's worried. Adam assures her that Jeff will be fine, but Kirby continues to wring her hands about him being in the hospital, blah blah...and kicks herself for not getting him to a doctor a lot sooner. Adam rolls his eyes and says he really doesn't want to spend the evening worrying or talking about Jeff, and then hands her a piece of paper. She unfolds it and looks it over, noting that it's a memo written entirely in French. Adam says he needs it and many other documents translated into English, then condescendingly says it would be good for her to use her mind for something more challenging than being Baby Blake's nanny. He offers her a job as a translator at ColbyCo, and Kirby says she'll get back to him with an answer after Fallon returns from her trip. Blake asks the doctor if there's been any improvement in Jeff's condition, but the doctor just shakes his head. Blake (being Blake) barks, "Just how long does it take you people to find out what's wrong with a patient?!" so the doctor patiently explains that they're doing lots of tests, and the staff will analyze them once the lab opens in the morning. Blake's all, "Wha-a?!" and demands that the lab be opened right fucking now so they can quickly figure out whassup with Jeff. Instead of telling him where he can shove his bitchy attitude, the doctor meekly replies, "I'll see what I can do" and ambles off. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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