Recap: Blake storms back to the mansion after his altercation with Alexis. He heads straight upstairs to tell Krystle that Tony (the gardener) admitted that Alexis purposely fired her skeet shooting rifle to spook her horse and cause her miscarriage. He says, "I just had it out with Alexis about her killing our child." He adds that he ordered her to leave the estate, and then growls, "I'm going to bulldoze her damn studio in the morning!" Krystle looks alarmed and wails, "You can't!" and points out that Alexis holds the deed to the property...plus, he's still on probation for the manslaughter of Ted Dinard. Most importantly, she reminds him that his grandchild is coming home from the hospital tomorrow - and it's a special occasion he shouldn't allow Alexis to ruin. Blake mulls all that over and agrees to exercise restraint...for now. But he assures her that Alexis will not get away with her nefarious misdeeds. Joseph suddenly pops into the room to inform Blake that Steven just called...and that he called from the jailhouse, where's he's being held after getting arrested.
Blake arrives at the police station...and when Steven is brought into the visitor's room, he gives his son a look of dismay and says, "Well...at least you're safe." Steven snaps, "What does that mean?" and Blake says it means he obviously made it back from Los Angeles in one piece...after stopping off in more than a few towns and a few bars, and picking up a [suspiciously gay] stranger from Santa Fe. Steven rudely turns his back on Blake, so Blake yells at him to turn around and face him when they're speaking. He asks Steven if he managed to find Sammy Jo, and Steven sullenly retorts, "That's my business" and Blake's just like, "Whatever" and grumbles that he didn't come all the way to the police station to talk about the floozy anyway. He informs Steven that the desk sergeant is preparing his bail papers, but Steven bitchily tells his father to go home and that he doesn't need him to bail him out.
Jeff and Fallon are in bed together...and Jeff desperately wants to discuss their marital situation, but Fallon sleepily grumbles that they've already exhausted the topic and she just wants to go to sleep. Jeff presses the issue and says they have to "face facts" before they bring their baby home, and then mumbles something about how hurt he still is over his father's untimely death. He desperately wants his child to have both a mother and a father, otherwise he could be scarred for life. Fallon astutely points out that it would be much worse for their child to live with their constant fighting...and Jeff agrees and says they need to put his welfare above their petty, childish disagreements. Fallon promises she'll do her best, then rolls over and goes back to sleep.
The next morning, Fallon admonishes Blake for leaving Steven to languish in jail all night. Blake tells her to stop hassling him and says he just wants to enjoy a peaceful breakfast before he leaves for the office. Fallon continues to badger him about his troubled relationship with Steven, so Blake tells her he sent Andy over to the jailhouse at 6:00am to secure Steven's release. He then stares down at his plate and snarks at the manservant who's hovering over him that he just served him eggs that are overdone and bacon that's burned. Egads! The shame-faced servant swiftly removes the offending breakfast and somehow restrains himself from telling the rude douchewad where he can stick his overly crispy bacon. Blake tells Fallon that perhaps letting Steven face the jailhouse alone will make a man out of him, and Fallon asks him when this tedious I-hate-having-a-gay-son storyline is finally going to run its course. Blake says he doesn't know, then barks at her to stop telling him how to be a father. Fallon tears up and heads toward the staircase, then turns around and asks what she's supposed to tell her son about why his Uncle Steven isn't at his homecoming. (He's an infant; I doubt he'll notice.) She then whines about how this is supposed to be a happy day, and Blake gruffly insists that it will be...and she pouts and asks, "Will it?" and flounces upstairs.
Krystle is primping in her room when Joseph pops in to inform her that Claudia is acting even more squirrelly than usual. Apparently, she's demanding that he bring her a suitcase so she can pack her things and leave for South America to retrieve her daughter. (My immediate reaction would be: let's get this woman a suitcase, a passport, and a one way ticket to Argentina...and then we'll change all the locks.) Krystle asks Joseph to call Nick for back-up, and she rushes down the hall to Claudia's room to see whassup. Joseph walks across the room toward the phone, rolls his eyes warily, and dials Nick's number. LOL.
Claudia is folding her clothes when Krystle enters the room and asks her whassup. Claudia tells her she wants to go to South America and look for her [presumed dead] daughter, and Krystle just stares at her with pensive concern and says she should probably discuss it with Nick to ensure that she's well enough to make the trip. Claudia starts twitching and insists nothing's wrong with her, so Krystle reminds her that she's still recovering from the accident. Claudia goes, "Accident? What accident? I don't remember any accident"...then says she does, however, remember how sneaky Krystle was when she was doinking Matthew while she was laid up at the funny farm. She dismissively tells Krystle to go away 'cause she's very busy...and when Krystle just stares back at her mutely, she screeches, "Get out of here!" Krystle wisely beats a hasty retreat, and Claudia glares after her with a maniacal expression. Yikes. Nick should probably look into maybe getting her re-installed at the funny farm.
Over in the studio, Alexis and Cecil are enjoying pizza and champagne for breakfast. As she slices up the pizza, she starts yammering about how the mansion servants refuse to let her borrow anything from the kitchen...and Cecil ambles a few feet away and clutches his chest, then mops the sweat from his forehead. Once Cecil's faux heart attack has passed, he pours two glasses of champagne...and Alexis, who remains oblivious to his failing heart, suddenly announces that she's decided to accept his marriage proposal. He's like, "Wuh?" and after a few seconds of stunned silence, he gives her a little smooch. She stares back at him in disappointment and says that usually his lips are more passionate than that lackluster attempt...so he says he's just surprised that she accepted his proposal so suddenly. He tells her he finds her unpredictability very alluring and asks her what prompted her to accept his proposal, so she tells him she had to get rid of "old ghosts". Cecil correctly assumes that she's talking about her marriage to Blake and asks her if that means she still holds a candle for the old goat, but Alexis insists that she loathes him, and that he's vile and arrogant and that she'd like nothing more than to see him destroyed. Cecil perks up at that, and Alexis asks him if he too hates Blake with as much intensity as she does. Cecil admits that there's no love lost between him and Blake, and Alexis grins broadly and says, "That's very, very good. That puts us on the same side." (LOL, writers.) She asks Cecil to tell her more about his hatred for Blake, so he tells her he does a little something every day to indulge his hatred for the man. (Well that's healthy.) This seems to turn Alexis on, and the two indulge in a blechy smoochfest.
Krystle is on the terrace, arranging a big bouquet of very colorful flowers. Nick comes out and tells her that Claudia has agreed she's in no shape to travel to South America, and will stay in Denver and complete the healing process. Krystle tells him she's grateful for all he's done for Claudia, and praises him for being adult enough to put aside his anger after she dumped him. Nick admits that he was royally pissed off when she dumped him, but concedes that her love for her husband was stronger than her lukewarm interest in him. She concurs and gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek...and - oops! - we see that Fallon is staring down at them from her bedroom window and totally misinterprets the gesture. She whirls around and glares into the camera with her eyes narrowed.
Blake returns to the police station to bring Steven a change of clothes and to inform him that his bail has been paid. Naturally, this angers Steven, and he bitchily refuses to accept help from a highly-paid Denver-Carrington lawyer. Blake urges him to plead guilty, then asks, "You did hit that man, didn't you?" but Steven refuses to answer. Blake points out that if he pleads guilty, there won't be a trial...then says he knows first hand what a horrible ordeal a trial can be. Steven insists he can handle it, but Blake tells him it'd be bad enough if this had been just a regular assault - but this was a homosexual assault, which apparently is way worse. LOL. Blake implores his idiot son to plead guilty so they can all get on with their lives, but Steven stubbornly refuses to listen.
Fallon and Blake arrive at the hospital to pick up the baby. As Blake heads over to the pay phone to call Jeff, Fallon runs into Nick. She smugly informs him that she and Jeff are back together, and that she wants to make a life for her son with a mother and a father. Nick chirps, "Can't argue with that!" so a crestfallen Fallon pouts and tells him he really let go of a prize when he dumped her ass. She then snootily tells him that he should get back to work - and she'll get back to her aimless life of leisure and nothingness. Nick just kind of shrugs indifferently and ambles off, and Fallon stares at the floor and puts her sad face on.
Nurse Susan is readying the baby for his trip home. Nick walks into the room and gives her a suggestive stare - hey, she's Steve Sanders' mom from Beverly Hills, 90210! Nick peeks at the baby and calls him beautiful, and Nurse Susan wryly informs him that Blake refers to the little gaffer as the little prince. Apparently, Nurse Susan has taken the job as live-in baby nurse at Carrington manor...but she doesn't seem too thrilled about working for rich people in a giant mansion. She tells Nick she'd much rather move into his house, but Nick's like, "Sorry, but it could never work between us." I really don't get why so many women find this weirdo so irresistible.
Fallon and Blake arrive at the mansion with the baby, and his grand homecoming is being celebrated with balloons, champagne...and the servants are all assembled in the living room to witness the momentous occasion. Tony the gardener is snapping photos (LOL) and Fallon introduces her son to the household as Blake Carrington Colby. (Won't it be confusing to have two Blakes living under the same roof?) Old Blake then gathers Baby Blake in his arms, raises his glass of champagne and decrees, "I want you to drink to this splendid child...this splendid prince...this splendid grandson of mine...otherwise you're all fired!!" Bwahaha! The maids and manservants dutifully drink up, and then Blake carries the baby over to each servant for a personalized introduction. Meanwhile, Jeff sidles up to Fallon and asks her if they're really, actually, truly going to make their marriage work...and she's like, "Yeah, sure. Whatever." Jeff should maybe stop acting like a needy teenage girl.
Steven arrives home during the ridiculous festivities, notices all the balloons and photo taking, and tries to make a break for it down the hall. Krystle stops him and asks him if everything is OK, then invites him to join them and enjoy a glass of champagne. Steven coldly snarks, "To celebrate the heir apparent's arrival? Maybe a little later" and stalks off. Fuck he's a moody prick.
Fallon and Nurse Susan bring Prince Blake to his elaborately decorated nursery. Fallon coos and promises him they'll spend lots of time together...and a few seconds later, she hands him to Nurse Susan and flounces off to her room. Nurse Susan caustically tells the baby that he's a very lucky boy, since not everyone has Buckingham Palace to come home to. Krystle enters the nursery so she too can coo and fuss over the tot...but then Fallon returns and looks pissed off that Krystle is holding her son. She orders her step-mother to hand him back to Nurse Susan, then says she'd like to speak with her in the hallway. She then makes it bitchily clear that she doesn't want Krystle anywhere near her baby - but Krystle says she's not taking Fallon's bitchitude personally, 'cause she gets that she's in a shitty mood because of her recent breakup with Nick. She swears that she and Nick never hit the sheets together...and that if she (Fallon) is angry because she lost him, she only has herself to blame.
Nick and Blake read a telex (I guess that's pre-fax machine..?) that has just arrived from Ecuador...and the news isn't good. Nick says he's worried to share it with Claudia, but Blake points out that there's never a right time to tell someone their entire family is dead - plus, he promised Claudia he'd tell her the truth, whatever it ends up being. He grimly says, "We have no choice. She has to face reality" and Nick's like "Yeah, OK", and the two head upstairs to break the sad news to the nut. When they enter her room, she's frenetically tearing pages out of fashion magazines, and explains that they're pictures of all the clothes she wants to buy for Lindsay when she finally returns home. Nick tells her she's not going to have to worry 'bout that, and then Blake blurts out, "They're gone." Claudia stares back at him blankly and asks, "Gone where?" so he bluntly says, "They're dead." She reacts with a freakout and yells that they're lying, so Nick explains that the investigators found the remains of their bodies, which had been thrown from the jeep...and the reason they weren't found right away is 'cause they were covered with jungle growth. Makes sense. Claudia still thinks they're lying to her, so Blake hands her the telex...and she reads it and whimpers, "My husband...my baby." She woodenly says she can't bring herself to cry, and Nick's like, "Sure you can!" (LOL) but she insists that the tears won't come. She then says she already knew her family was dead, 'cause she read about it in a telex that she recently intercepted at Denver-Carrington. Blake's all, "Wuh?" so she explains that a telex arrived when she was working late one night, and that it read no sign of life. She knew in her heart then that Matthew and Lindsay were dead...and rambles on and on about that for a few minutes. She tells them that after reading the telex, she went to her apartment to fetch her gun so that she could kill Cecil Colby because of how he used her as a spy but then didn't tell her her family was dead. Nick asks her if that's when Krystle entered the apartment, and Claudia nods. She says that Krystle saw the gun and tried to stop her from taking it...so then Blake gets in on that action and asks her who fired the gun, and Claudia starts twitching and finally admits, "I did." Nick suggests she tell the police her account of the shooting, like pronto, so they can get Krystle off the hook. She agrees to do that, but insists she's not sorry about her intention to kill Cecil...and Blake and Nick nod and tell her they're both A-OK with that. LOL.
Nick has managed to get Claudia a room somewhere (hopefully at the funny farm) and Blake thanks him for all his help. Jeff enters the study at that moment and tells Blake that Rashid Ahmed is desperate to schedule a meeting with him. Nick overhears him say Rashid Ahmed and starts having grisly flashbacks of his dead brother's dangling feet again...then recalls how Blake insisted that he had nothing to do with Gianni's death. Nick exits the mansion and ominously whispers, "Rashid Ahmed.." then starts to twitch and have a Claudia-style freakout of his own.
Krystle finds Alexis wandering around the mansion and demands to know what she's doing here. Alexis snarks, "None of your damn business" then explains that she's here to see the baby. Krystle bitchily tells her to phone Fallon and arrange for a visit in her studio, so Alexis accuses her of being jealous of Fallon's childbearing abilities - but Krystle denies it and says she no longer has the power to taunt her. Alexis just shrugs and announces she's marrying Cecil, and Krystle says, "Great. Two of a kind. Perfect match." For some reason, this causes Alexis to perk up, and she says, "I have the most wonderful idea! Where to have the wedding!" and quickly sashays out the side door. She runs into Steven on the terrace and tells him she heard about his arrest...and he tells her he pled not guilty and will therefore go to trial over the post-shakedown punch, then demands that she admit to paying off Sammy Jo to leave town. Alexis freely admits she did, then says, "It was for your own good. She was a cheap little tramp." Steven then goes on a weird tangent about how she probably believes that he hooked up with a strange man and had a homosexual liaison, but that he doesn't care what she thinks, blah blah. The dude's fast becoming a whiny, cranky bore. Joseph enters the terrace and tells Steven that his father wants to speak with him in the study.
Blake tells Steven he wants to "reassess things" (that can't be good) and wants to have a drink while they discuss this reassessment, but Steven refuses to accept a drink. Blake slips into his usual dickwad routine and starts with, "I've allowed you to lead your own life" and goes on to tell Steven what a moron he thinks he is to have ended up in jail after punching an allegedly homosexual punk he met in a bar. Steven just glares him with his usual stony expression, and Blake barks, "Aren't you going to say anything?" so Steven swipes his arm across the end table and sends several drinking glasses crashing to the floor. Krystle hears the shattering glass from the hallway...and a few seconds later, Joseph wanders over, along with Jeff and Fallon. Fallon bursts into the study and shrieks, "What's happening?!" and then Alexis wanders in and tells Steven she'd like a word with him. Steven just gives her a funny look and goes, "Kinda busy right now, mom" then re-directs his attention to Fallon. He sourly explains that Blake is getting all judgey about his life again, specifically how he's shaping up (or not) as a Carrington. He then accuses everyone in the room of being part of "this kangaroo court" and that he's the poor defendant who can't ever do anything right, wah wah.. He reminds Blake how he kept pressuring him to be attracted to women, so he went and married one - but then everyone was super bitchy to Sammy Jo. Alexis is like, "Well d'yuh, she was a tramp" and Fallon concurs and adds, "She was common trash." Steven shoots her the stink-eye and asks, "And what are you, Fallon? Uncommon trash?" Hee! And, uh, yes. Jeff warns Steven not to sass his woman, but Steven just shoves him onto the couch and continues his rant. He tells his family they're rotten to the core, and that Jeff and Krystle have been "contaminated by the oil baron". He then picks up a valuable vase, and Blake looks alarmed and warns him to put it down...but Steven holds it between two fingers like he's about to drop it...but then doesn't. He asks Blake if the vase is worth more than Ted Dinard's life, and Blake reminds him that that was an accident and soo last season. Steven starts moaning about how their love was decent and honorable, and that Blake ruined it because it didn't fit his ideal. Blake growls, "I wanted you to be a man" and Steven retorts, "I am a man. Just not your kind." He says he's been living a lie just to please him...but is no longer willing to do that. From now on, he's going to live his life his way - which I assume means no more female hookers or bordello girls. He looks Blake in the eye and declares, "I'm a homosexual, dad. I'm gay. And I want you to face it" and Blake just stares at him, icked out and dumbfounded. Steven prompts everyone in the room to repeat "Steven is gay" but everyone just stares at him mutely...until Fallon finally chirps, "Steven is gay." Yay Fallon! [For that, I promise not to make fun of you for the rest of the recap.] When it's clear that no other acknowledgements of his gayness are forthcoming, Steven lumbers toward the door and says he hates what all of them stand for (e.g. their morals, values, and blindness), but despite all that, he still loves them. Er...OK. As he stalks out of the study, Prince Blake starts to cry from his crib, and Steven cocks his head to the side as he listens to the crying for a few seconds, then says, "The heir apparent...the little Carrington prince. God help that poor baby." Amen to that, Steven. And may God have mercy on the little gaffer's soul.
Claudia also hears the baby crying and stumbles into the nursery. She stares down at the infant with a perplexed expression and whispers, "Lindsay?" She picks up the tiny prince, hugs him close to her and murmurs, "Life ends...but then it begins again." That can't be good.
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