Recap: Fallon and Blake are in the NICU wing of the hospital, staring at her incubated baby from behind the glass...and Fallon proudly tells Blake that the little gaffer gained three ounces. Nick comes over and asks Blake if they can speak privately, so Fallon heads off to wait in the car. Nick urges him to take a blood test to determine for once and for all if he is/isn't Fallon's bio dad, but Blake just glowers at him and snarls, "I will take that test when I'm good and ready!" and storms off like the temperamental dickwad he is. Meanwhile, Fallon runs into Jeff in the lobby, and she beams at him and tells him how "beautiful and fine" the baby looks. He tells her she's lookin' pretty good herself, then reminds her that the kid needs a name and suggests Blake Carrington Colby. Fallon scrunches her face in irritation [presumably because she doesn't know for sure if Blake is the kid's bio granddad] and snarks, "Name him whatever you want. I don't care!" and the two snipe at each other for a few minutes before she angrily stalks off.
Alexis rings the doorbell at the mansion [as opposed to just letting herself in as she's been freely doing in every other episode] carrying a bright green donkey piñata. Joseph answers, and she tells him she's been vacationing in Acapulco for the last couple of weeks, and he just stares at her blankly and says, "I had no idea." She tells him that a photo of her attending a ball in Acapulco was featured in The Chronicle, then razzes the majordomo about how disappointed she is that he no longer keeps a scrapbook documenting her adventures. Hee! She tells him she'd like to see Fallon, but he informs her that Fallon has has no wish to see her under any circumstances. Alexis mulls that over, then says for now she'll settle for delivering the piñata to her daughter's room, but Joseph forbids her to venture past the foyer. She glares at him and snidely tells him he can stick the green donkey wherever he sees fit, thrusts the thing at him, and flounces out.
Blake and Fallon return to the estate, and he drops her off at the stables so she can spend some time with her horse Lady, who's been unwell. Blake says they should probably discuss the paternity issue, since it's been "killing" them both. He says he never believed Alexis' claim that he wasn't her father, 'cause in his heart and soul he knew she was his daughter. That said, he's finally agreed to take a blood test in order to get to the bottom of this never ending paternity issue. Fallon nods approvingly and says she needs to know who her real father is [particularly since she may have unwittingly slept with her bio dad (Cecil) in Season 1, which is just...ew.]
Blake drops by Alexis' studio, and she whines to him about how Fallon still hasn't found it in her heart to forgive her about the who's-my-daddy? situation. Blake grumbles, "You almost killed her with your damned lie" and Alexis looks put out and accuses him of poisoning her daughter's mind against her. He laughs out loud and says, "You didn't need much help on that score" then informs her that he's taking a blood test to determine whether or not he's Fallon's father. He wants to know if all the "contenders" are accounted for, then spells it out and asks her if she was doinking anyone other than him or Cecil around the time she got pregnant with Fallon. She sheepishly says no, then suddenly prickles up and rails about his "damned all-consuming business", which caused her so much loneliness and pain during their marriage. Blake is like, "Whatever" and orders her to get in touch with Cecil and tell him to come by the hospital that evening so that he too can have his blood drawn.
Alexis passes along Blake's edict to Cecil as the two lunch together at the ritzy St. Dennis Club. Cecil agrees to the blood test, but doesn't look thrilled. Alexis asks him if he's worried he may be Fallon's father, and he makes a blech face and says, "Let's say I'm not all that un-worried." Alexis tells him that if he is the father, he needs to explain her side of the story to Fallon (not exactly sure what that is), and then moans, "My children have given me so much misery lately." Cecil grumbles about what ingrates young people are - like Jeff, for instance - and says love is a two-way street, and that he isn't sure if he even loves his nephew anymore. He then shifts his attention to Alexis and murmurs, "I did love you once. Really love you" and Alexis gives him a sultry smile and asks, "Did you?" He softens his voice, contorts his face into a really goofy expression and schmaltzily coos, "Why do you persist in being the most exquisite woman wherever you go?" and reminds her of that special night (years ago) when they had dinner and a really satisfying doink afterwards. Unfortunately, she met Blake soon after that. Cecil says he often asks himself what would have happened if he had proposed to her himself...then asks her if she would have said yes. Alexis shrugs and is like, "I dunno" then recalls how madly in love with Blake she was, which...ew. He asks her if she'd marry him now, and she stares at him in surprise and goes, "Are you serious?" and he says he is and urges her to think about it. In light of this quasi-proposal, I can't help but wonder if Alexis recalls the ghoulish prophesy made by her wacky fortune teller, eight episodes ago:
"Adrianna then makes a cryptic prediction for the future of Alexis' love life: "Man veddy positive, veddy powerful, veddy attracted to you." But, unfortunately, the cards can't actually identify who this man is. She tells Alexis it's someone who knows her "veddy well...veddy intimately" and Alexis looks momentarily deflated and wryly retorts, "Well, that could be a regiment." Haha! She wants to know more about this mystery man, so Adrianna waves one of the tarot cards in the air and says he's going to ask her to marry him, and Alexis perks up and goes, "Really?" and suddenly Adrianna's face darkens as she bellows, "He vill expire!! He vill expire!! Like death!!" LOL. She glares at Alexis and ominously holds up the death card, which has a graphic of a funny looking, cartoonish skeleton on it...and Alexis dramatically clutches her chest, then gets up and flees the room."
None of this bodes well for Cecil.
Claudia's walking on a hillside somewhere, hallucinating that her daughter (as a young child) is running toward her. Cecil suddenly appears out of nowhere and picks Lindsay up, and Claudia barks, "Leave my daughter alone!" She pulls the gun out of her purse and fires it at him...but since Cecil's just a figment of her hallucination, she ends up shooting a tree. This wacky broad should probably not be in possession of a gun.
Claudia drops by Jeff's office at Denver-Carrington. He's surprised to see her and says he thought she was taking the week off. She mumbles about how she went to Aspen, then scratches that and tells him she spent the last few days "going here and there" - places she used to go with Lindsay. She tells him she just doesn't have the feeling her daughter is dead - and when Jeff furrows his caterpillar brows to express doubt, she points out that no one has found Lindsay's or Matthew's body. She then thanks Jeff for not tattling on her spying activities to Blake, then says she's going to come clean and confess. After that, she heads over to Blake's office and tattles on Cecil for blackmailing her in exchange for photographing confidential documents. Blake is furious at Cecil's duplicity, but refuses to accept Claudia's resignation. She tells him she wants to go to South America to search the jungle for her daughter [please please please let her go, writers!], but Blake advises her to hang back and let his "people down there" do what they can to find her daughter and husband. He promises to tell her the truth, unlike that scoundrel Cecil, and asks her to trust him. Claudia mulls that over and nods in agreement.
Blake is at the hospital, getting his blood drawn. Cecil arrives a few minutes later, and Nick explains to him in detail how blood tests can be used to rule out a person as a biological parent. Cecil says he's very impressed by the science of blood testing (er...OK), so then Nick takes his blood and readies both samples for the lab. After he leaves, Cecil snarks at Blake about what an embarrassment it is that Fallon's paternity is so up in the air. He then needlessly recalls that he and Alexis were both so young when they started their affair, but he never believed that Fallon could be his daughter. Blake abruptly changes the topic and admonishes Cecil for blackmailing Claudia and snarks, "I hate your guts for what you've done to her." Cecil derisively retorts, "She's no better than a prostitute" and points out that she was bumping uglies with Jeff the night Fallon prematurely delivered her spawn. For some reason, this makes Blake super mad, and he punches Cecil in the face and says if Claudia's a prostitute, then he's the pimp for turning her into one. So there!
Later, Blake and Krystle share a cozy evening in the study. She remarks that she's still deciding on what to buy Jaime for a wedding gift (dunno who Jaime is) and Blake smiles at her and says she has "a way" about her, and seems to truly enjoy making others happy (unlike his cunty ex-wife). Krystle strides over to where he's sitting, gives him a squeeze, and says she knows he's preoccupied about the blood test. She reminds him he's the only father Fallon has ever known and that they love each other vewy vewy much. Blake thanks her for the lovely thought, and for some reason she chooses that moment to start mumbling something about Alexis and comes close to telling him about their awesome cat fight, but then abruptly stops herself and announces that she's heading upstairs to bed. Blake, meanwhile, opens an old memento box and finds a Valentine's Day card that Fallon made for him when she was a child...and he stares into space, looking nostalgic.
The next morning, Blake tells Krystle he's off to go riding...then notices the grim look on her face and asks her whassup. She finally decides to throw all caution to the wind and blurts out, "It's Alexis. She's got to go, Blake!" Blake winces helplessly and says he's tried to buy her out; unfortunately, she owns the deed to the studio and the property it's built on. Krystle says she doesn't care and insists there must be a way. She rants about how much she hates the way Alexis walks around Carrington manor as if she owns it, then reminds Blake of the grief she's caused him and Fallon, and how her testimony at the trial helped convict him. Furthermore, on a personal level, she hates the way Alexis is always hanging around, insulting her and putting her down. She ends her rant there and waits for Blake's reaction...and he smiles at her affectionately and kisses her cheek. He says he totally understands her frustration, and promises to one day maybe attempt to deal with his ex-wife.
Steven overhears Joseph talking on the phone and suspects that Sammy Jo is on the other end of the call. Joseph denies it, so then Steven gets all bitchy and orders him to tell him the truth, then haughtily reminds him of his place as a lowly servant. Joseph hotly denies that he was talking to Sammy Jo, so Steven gives up on the argument and, by scripted coincidence, runs into Krystle. He asks her if she's heard from Sammy Jo, then accuses her of being all judgey like Blake and opposed to his ill-fated marriage. Krystle tells him she wasn't opposed to the marriage, per se, but just felt that he deserved a lot better than to be married to a phony, money grubbing airhead. She clucks at Steven sympathetically and says she knows how hurtful it can be to be drawn to the wrong person. Steven stares unhappily into space, then goes up to his room to contemplate the mess he's made of his life by marrying a vapid dimwit he barely knew...and without a prenup, I can only assume. A few seconds later, Joseph drops by and sheepishly hands him a piece of paper with a Hollywood address written on it. He tells her that that's where he can find Sammy Jo, then acknowledges that he (Steven) is a grown man who's entitled to make his own mistakes. He helpfully informs Steven that there's a flight leaving for Los Angeles later that afternoon.
Ray Bonning returns Blake's call, and Blake offers him $50,000 to set up a business meeting between him and Logan Rhinewood. Ray grumbles about how difficult that might be to do [considering Logan Rhinewood doesn't actually exist - sorry if that's a spoiler for anyone], and Blake's like, "Well, d'yuh. That's why I'm offering you 50K."
Krystle and Claudia are lunching at the St. Dennis Club...but Claudia is just despondently staring at her plate like the chronically depressed downer she is. She says she hates it when people try to keep her from looking for her daughter, so Krystle assures her that all she wants is for them to be friends. She invites her to move back to Carrington manor while she waits for news of Lindsay's/Matthew's whereabouts, but Claudia bitchily snarks at her to "let up". She wails about how everything in life - like, literally everything (e.g. the salad in front of her) - is utterly meaningless if she doesn't have her crybaby daughter in her life. She suddenly gets up from the table and says she needs to head back to the office, then bolts toward the exit.
Fallon is chatting it up with Tony at the stables when she gets a call from Blake's office telling her he wants to see her asap.
Blake is on the phone in his office, telling someone (probably Andy) that he has a meeting tonight with Logan Rhinewood in Las Vegas...and then wraps up the call just as Fallon enters the room. He shoots her a goofy grin, then hands her the results of the blood test. She reads it, gets teary, and exclaims, "Oh daddy!" and the two hug now that it's been confirmed that they're father and daughter. Yippee! Hallelujah! Woot woot! Thank goodness that subplot is finally resolved.
Steven arrives in Los Angeles...and elsewhere, in a low rent studio, Sammy Jo is posing in a skimpy bikini for a sleazy looking photographer. Hey - whatever happened to her promise to use Alexis' $20,000 to acquire some fancy manners? LOL. The photographer, whose name is Ace (yes, really), takes a few shots of Sammy Jo's lithe body, then mounts her, and the two start making out. He grunts, "I want you out of that bikini" and Sammy Jo's like, "Tee hee, OK" and is in the process of getting naked when Steven suddenly bursts into the room. He demands to know what's going on, then gets into a shouting match with Ace. Sammy Jo intervenes and tells Ace she'd like a few minutes alone with her husband, and he obliges and leaves the room. Steven gives her an incredulous, WTF? look and asks, "What are you doing in this place - half naked?!" She tells him she's making a career for herself, and that Ace (who she met on the plane) told her he could make her famous, a somebody. A famous somebody. LOL. Steven says he's worried about her, and can't comprehend that the girl he loves would go to his mother to ask for money to leave him. Sammy Jo denies that that's how it happened, and blabs the actual version of events: "Your dear mother asked me to sign a piece of paper and you know what that paper would make you out to be? A fag!" Steven's all, "Wuh?" so she explains that his mother wanted to tell the world they had never slept together - but she refused to sign it. Steven looks indifferent to the fag crack and is like, "Whatever" and says he wants her to come back to Denver with him - but she refuses and says she's sick and tired of "begging for crumbs at the Carrington table". Steven pleads, "I need you!" but she coldly retorts, "I don't need you." She explains that since he couldn't give her the things she wanted, she now has to get them for herself...apparently by dabbling in the lucrative world of porn.
An exuberant Fallon arrives at the hospital. She runs into Nick and hugs him happily and tells him she's here to see her baby. She tells him the happy news that Blake is her bio dad, which means that all is right with the world again. Nick invites her to accompany him to the Caribbean for a medical conference, and she happily accepts. I guess her sickly baby will have to get well on his own.
Claudia's working late at Denver-Carrington when a cable comes in. It says that the Blaisdel's burned jeep was found in a Peruvian jungle, but there were no signs of life. Claudia wigs out and, with shaking hands, picks up the phone.
Joseph enters the study and tells Krystle that a very distraught sounding Claudia is on the phone...so Krystle picks up the extension. Claudia asks her if Blake is there, but Krystle tells her he's in Vegas [running a fool's errand] then asks her whassup. Claudia says she now knows that Matthew and Lindsay are dead, and Krystle's like, "Ack!" and offers to come over and keep her company, but Claudia says she's at Denver-Carrington and will head home. After she hangs up, Krystle frantically dials Nick and tells him she has a code red emergency!
Blake and Andy are on the Carrington jet, en route to Las Vegas. Blake happily tells his lawyer how great his personal life is going...as is his business life, now that he's been able to score a meeting with Logan Rhinewood. He smiles, basking in the smugness of being able to buy Rhinewood's henchman with $50,000. Andy furrows his brows and says he's concerned about what they'll be up against once they arrive in Vegas, but Blake continues to look smugly relaxed and is like, "Meh."
Claudia is at her apartment, calling a taxi to take her to ColbyCo. Krystle suddenly bursts through the door (knock much?) and explains that she was very worried about her. She implores her to move back to the mansion, but Claudia insists she's fine and just wants to be left alone. Krystle glances around the tiny apartment and notices the gun sitting on a side table. She gasps at the sight of it, so Claudia explains that she uses it for protection. Krystle says she's worried she's going to use it to off herself (if only), but Claudia assures her there's no danger of that 'cause she plans to use it on Cecil. Krystle grabs for the gun at the same time Claudia snatches it, and the two awkwardly wrestle for it. At that very moment, Nick arrives at Claudia's building...and he bursts into the apartment seconds after the gun goes off...and the camera zooms in for a close-up, so we don't miss the look of horror on his face as he moans, "Oh dear God.."
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!