Dynasty - Season 2, Episode 17

"How 'bout it, Jeff? Let's show these bitches how the men like to cat fight!

"Mother and Son"
Original airdate: 3/10/1982

Episode summary: Fallon finally visits her sick baby in the NICU and decides she might give a hoot about him after all. Claudia is caught red-handed by Jeff as she photographs confidential Denver-Carrington documents, then later finds out that her husband and daughter are presumed dead. Blake is dismayed when he learns that Fallon knows he may not be her bio dad. 

---

Recap: Blake and Krystle arrange for a food cart from the ritzy St. Dennis Club to be delivered to Fallon's hospital room. Blake reminisces with Krystle about how he took Fallon there for her eighth birthday...but then his expression turns serious, and he says they need to do everything necessary to help her out of the shitty mood she's been in. A few seconds later, Fallon is wheeled into the room, and Blake shows her the food cart and says they should celebrate. She asks in a flat voice, "Celebrate what?" and he's like, "Duh, your son...my grandson." Fallon says she hasn't even seen the baby and has zero desire to do so - in fact, she'd prefer it if Jeff took him away somewhere and raised him. Blake and Krystle exchange looks of pensive concern, and Blake asks Fallon what's really wrong (aside from being such a horrible person with such obvious deficiencies), and she wails that she's tired, doesn't have an appetite, and just wants to be left alone. Blake gives her a fatherly kiss, and he and Krystle leave the room...and Fallon miserably stares into space.

A restless Blake paces in his office at Denver-Carrington, then buzzes his secretary and dictates a memo to Andy stating that another 100,000 shares of Denver-Carrington's stock was just purchased. He grumbles that whoever's behind all this stock buying is trying to raid his company, and he wants to know who the hell it is. Jeff enters his office, eavesdrops as he's dictating, and tells Blake that whoever's buying up all the stock is doing it anonymously, which means that it's impossible to trace it to a person. Blake snaps, "I know it's Rhinewood, damn it!" then immediately looks sheepish and apologizes for being such a snappish dickwad. He says it's been a bad week of feeling squeezed from all sides: he has a stranger trying to wreck his business, and a daughter who's treating him like a hostile stranger. He says he wishes Fallon would snap out of her postpartum bitchitude, then asks Jeff for his help figuring out why she's so pissed off at him.
A handsome groundskeeper named Tony (of the cleaning of the skeet shooting rifle from the previous episode) is summoned to the studio. Alexis snippily tells him he's a good groundsman, but a little loose with the tongue. He's all, "Wuh?" so she reminds him that he tattled to Krystle about how she (Alexis) was skeet shooting the day she (Krystle) fell off her horse, miscarried Blake's spawn, and destroyed all future chances of carrying his spawn. He casually says, "Oh that. Yes" - LOL - and Alexis glares at him, bitchily mimics him, then says, "But you were mistaken, weren't you, Tony?" ...but Tony doesn't get that this is more a threat than a question, and insists he wasn't mistaken. Alexis coldly retorts, "I see" and offers him tea, which he declines. She says she wants to talk about her silver - and he's all, "Wuh?" again - and claims that a valuable Georgian silver desk set was stolen from her studio. She accuses him of taking it, since he was recently in her studio alone, delivering flowers. She promises not to blow the whistle on him as long as he explains his "faulty memory" of his account to Krystle about Skeet Shooting Day. Tony scrunches his face with worry, now that it's clear he's being so brazenly blackmailed, and Alexis smiles in smug satisfaction.
 
In the next scene, Tony robotically tells Krystle he was mistaken when he told her that Alexis was skeet shooting on the day of her accident, and Krystle stares at him pensively and says, "I see. Thanks Tony. For remembering." She then glares at Alexis as the poor sod scampers off to safety. Alexis says she's glad the matter has been "cleared up" and laments how upset she's been ever since she (Krystle) accused her. She fake graciously says she forgives her for their contretemps in her studio, and Krystle corrects her and says, "It was a fight. A good, dirty, no holds barred, cat fight." Alexis just rolls her eyes and is like, "Whatever" so Krystle brings up a disturbing incident that happened years ago in Beverly Hills when Alexis tore the wig off of an actress and threw it and the actress through a French window. Yikes. Alexis chuckles at her psychopathic behavior and recalls that it was "quite amusing". She once again tells Krystle she forgives her for accusing her of causing the accident, 'cause losing the baby wasn't something she could easily recover from...then theorizes that Fallon's new baby and Tony's account of Skeet Shooting Day must have triggered an irrational response. Krystle derisively tells her she's giving quite the performance, and Alexis thanks her and says she once attended the Royal Academy, then "accidentally" calls her Mrs. Jennings. Krystle ignores that faux Freudian slip and informs her frenemy that she hasn't told Blake about her suspicions about Skeet Shooting Day because she can't prove for certain that Alexis caused her accident - but she solemnly vows that as long as she lives, she'll never forget what it cost her.

"It turns out Alexis wasn't skeet shooting on the day of your accident. That's my revised story and I'm sticking to it."

"Thanks, Tony. Your new version of events is almost slightly plausible."

Alexis arrives at the hospital after being summoned by Fallon, and she mistakenly assumes that her daughter is in a better mood than she was during the previous episode. Fallon asks her if Blake knows about his questionable paternity, and Alexis dances around the issue...but when Fallon presses her to answer the damn question already, she admits she told Blake years ago, but he refused to believe it. Alexis reminds her daughter that Blake loves her, but Fallon looks despondent and says she no longer believes in anyone - not Blake, and definitely not her.

Nick checks on the baby in the NICU. The doctor tells him that the little gaffer's health is still precarious and wonders aloud if she should tell his parents. [Um...probably??] Nick suggests holding off on that, which was weird, and the doctor says she'll tell Fallon about the baby's condition, but wants to wait until the last possible moment.

Over at the studio, Steven tells Alexis how bummed he is that his wife left him. He says he still loves the vapid twit, and insists on driving around town to look for her. Alexis tells him not to waste gas on such a search - LOL - then offers him a snack from her cheese plate. Steve suddenly grabs her by the arm and demands to know what she did to drive Sammy Jo away, and she angrily snarls that she's his mother, and not "that trollop you married" and orders him to take his hands off of her. Steven hotly denies that Sammy Jo is a trollop or a conniving gold digger, and Alexis rolls her eyes and is like, "Whatever" and claims that Sammy Jo came to her to hit her up for money so she could leave town. Steven doesn't believe her, and Alexis insists that that's what really happened...then grumbles about how sick she is of getting dumped on by her ungrateful children. Steven asks her what she's holding back to protect herself, and when he can't get anything resembling a straight answer, he storms out to go look for his wife.

"I'm going to hop in my truck and drive around town and look for my missing wife."

"If you're going to waste gas searching for that trollop, at least use a more fuel efficient vehicle."

Fallon stares despondently out the window of her hospital room. Nick enters her room and says the doctor just told him how gravely ill her baby is, then asks her why she doesn't want to see him. She petulantly replies, "That's my business" so Nick reminds her that the child is her son and that he needs his mother...and Fallon just shrugs and says, "He's in an incubator...I couldn't touch him anyway" then outright says she doesn't want to. She says, "I only had him for Blake, and Blake isn't my..." And when her voice trails off, Nick glowers and snaps, "What?!" so she defiantly retorts, "My father." Nick accuses her of inventing "another fantasy", so she insists that Alexis told her that Blake may not be her bio dad. She moans, "If he isn't my father, I just want to die!" and then forcibly hugs Nick and begs him not to tell anyone what she just said.

Jeff's in Claudia's bed again, savouring the after-glow. He says he should probably get going 'cause he has an early morning meeting across town, then tells her she's starting to mean a lot to him. She looks pleased and tells him she doesn't normally sleep around. Jeff says he admires her for having the courage to make a new life for herself, blah blah...and then compares her upbeat disposition to Fallon's spiteful cuntiness. He gushes, "You're so open, honest, and without guile." (Ha! Just wait ten minutes.) Claudia grimly says she may not be entirely without guile, but Jeff insists she's special, and the two kiss, canoodle, and continue to have no chemistry.

Nick arrives at the mansion to meet with Blake. Krystle greets him coldly, looking especially busty in a tight green, cleavage bearing top. She coolly informs him that Blake's waiting for him in the study, then stalks off. Nick tells Blake there's a good chance the baby will make it, and Blake says he wants to head over to the hospital to be near his grandson and daughter. Nick says that Fallon doesn't want to see him, then ignores Fallon's request to keep mum about her issues and blabs about how she's suffering from an identity crisis 'cause she doesn't know for sure who her father is. Blake's all, "Wha-a?!" and asks who she heard that from, and Nick says, "Alexis." Blake growls, "It's a damned lie! Invented by Alexis to hurt me." Nick advises him to take a blood test, but Blake says he doesn't need a blood test to prove she's his daughter...but then Nick snaps that this isn't about him; he needs to do it for Fallon's sake. Blake wonders aloud who else the father could possibly be, then shakes his head and mutters that he'll go straight to the source for that info.

Blake enters the studio looking for Alexis, but she's not home. He snoops around and notices the portrait of himself that Alexis painted and Krystle repeatedly smashed during their contretemps. He stares at it in puzzlement.

Over at the hospital, the doctor tells Nick that the baby will require heart surgery. She needs to get permission from the parents, so Nick tells her he'll try to locate the father. He makes a beeline over to the nearest phone and calls the mansion looking for Jeff, but Joseph stiffly informs him that Jeff is MIA [doinking Claudia]. Nick then goes to Fallon, and she promptly signs the release papers. He urges her to go see her baby already, but she stubbornly wails, "I don't want tooo!" so Nick gets all prickly and reminds her she's his mother and that if the baby dies, she'll never recover emotionally. Fallon stares at him tearfully...and in the next scene, we see that Nick is wheeling Fallon into the NICU. She peers at her hapless baby through the window and whispers, "He's so tiny...oh my baby, my beautiful baby." I guess this means she suddenly loves him now.

Early the next morning, Claudia sneaks into Jeff's office at Denver-Carrington and uses a duplicate of the key she stole from him to open his secret filing cabinet. She pulls out a thick folder and is in the middle of taking photos of oil shale extraction documents when Jeff suddenly enters the room and catches her red-handed. He tells her that his morning meeting was canceled, then asks her to explain herself. Claudia hangs her head in shame and replies, "What is there to say?" so he demands to know why she's breaking into his files. He gets angry and snaps, "Why?!" so she spills the beans about how Cecil wanted all of Denver-Carrington's documentation regarding its oil shale process. Jeff assumes she's doing it for money and gets all disgusted and judgey about it, then says he was beginning to fall in love with her. She admits that the first time they doinked was primarily so she could steal his key and duplicate it...but last night was all about them. Jeff ignores that and demands to know how much Cecil is paying her, so she tells him she didn't do it for money, but rather information about Lindsay's whereabouts. Jeff's all, "Wuh?" and she starts crying and begs him to believe her.

"I'm sure you must have a good explanation for breaking into my office and photographing confidential documents."

"No...this is pretty much exactly what it looks like."

Blake and Krystle arrive at the hospital again and discuss the baby's condition with Nick. He tells them the baby needs heart surgery and that there's a good chance he could die before, during, or after surgery. Well that's optimistic. Blake and Krystle put on their sad faces, then stare at the ailing baby through the NICU window.

Jeff storms over to ColbyCo and demands that Cecil tell Claudia where she can find her daughter...and if he doesn't, he'll tattle on him to Blake for enlisting Claudia as a spy to undermine his company. Cecil denies any wrongdoing and says, "My hands are clean" and claims that Claudia was the one who came to him and proposed a deal: she'd steal documents about the oil shale extraction process and sell it to ColbyCo in exchange for information on the whereabouts of her pet daughter. [Um...OK, but even if that version of events were true, Cecil would still be guilty of corporate espionage.] Jeff roughly grabs his uncle by the neck and snarls, "I'll choke the truth out of you if I have to!" Hee! Cecil says he doesn't know where the crybaby is anymore, since about a week ago she and Matthew disappeared in a jungle near the Peruvian border. Jeff is livid that he withheld this information from Claudia, and points out that she wouldn't still be spying for him if she was aware that her husband and daughter were likely dead. He then declares to Cecil that he's through with him forever, and that from now on, the only Colby in his life will be his son. A few seconds later, Cecil's secretary buzzes and tells Jeff he has an emergency call. He snatches up the phone, listens on the other end, and exclaims, "Surgery?! When?!" then drops the receiver and runs out of Cecil's office...and a confused Cecil's all, "Wha-at's happening?!"

Jeff arrives at the hospital and runs into Blake and Krystle, who inform him that the baby is in the operating room. A few minutes later, the doctor emerges from the OR, slowly takes off her surgical mask, and stares at Jeff, Blake, and Krystle for what seems like a looong time - and then the scene abruptly ends. A second later, Fallon says in a flat voice, "He's dead, isn't he?" and Jeff assures her that their son is very much alive, fighting. Fallon looks relieved and announces that she's changed her mind about not giving a hoot about the baby and now wants custody. Jeff's all, "ExCUSE me?!" and tells her she's being unstable and fickle...so then she reminds him that she's the baby's mother, and that no one's going to stop her from keeping him and screwing him up emotionally for the rest of his life. Nick, meanwhile, is eavesdropping from the doorway and asks to speak with Jeff in private. He tells Jeff that the operation was a success and thought it would be nice if he were the one to tell Fallon. That's weird - wasn't that exactly what Jeff was just relaying to Fallon? For some reason, Jeff reacts badly to Nick's advice and snarls at him for stealing his wife and now wanting his baby (?), and punches him in the face. Nick easily pins him against the wall and says that the baby needs both of his parents' love and that he should put his needs first. Jeff calms down, and Nick releases him from his grip, and stalks off while rubbing his sore jaw and muttering, "Not bad, not bad." Please. That fight wasn't even remotely comparable to the hair-pulling, studio trashing contretemps between Krystle and Alexis.

Blake snarks at Alexis for repeating "that lie" about Fallon not being his bio daughter. He reminds her he promised to kill her if she ever told Fallon that, then demands to know how any mother could do that to her own child. He looms over her menacingly and barks, "How?!" and Alexis shrinks back fearfully and whimpers in her little girl voice that she'd never do anything to hurt Fallon. She exclaims, "It wasn't me!" and throws Sammy Jo under the bus, referring to her as "that little tramp niece of Krystle's". She admits to "accidentally" letting this gossip slip to Steven, and Sammy Jo somehow overheard. Blake says he's never believed the filthy lie, but is now forced to accept that Fallon's paternity could be in doubt. He asks Alexis who else the father could be, and Alexis declines to answer and dramatically shakes her head and wails, "Nooo!" LOL. Blake grabs her by the arms to shake an answer out of her, so she finally squeaks, "Colby." Blake scrunches his face and goes, "Cecil Colby?" and looks like he might throw up. Alexis pleads with him to try to understand what a shamelessly slutty tart she was back in those days, but Blake is furious that she betrayed him with Cecil. He storms out, and Alexis starts to weep.

"Who else boned you around the time Fallon was conceived?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say that out of the regiment of men I slept with at that time, Cecil's sperm was probably the most viable."

Jeff returns to his office and finds Claudia sitting zombie-like in his chair. She tells him she's come to a decision, meaning she's going to come clean about her spying to Blake, and then resign from Denver-Carrington. She tells Jeff she's thankful he caught her in the act, 'cause now all of her deception is out in the open and she doesn't have to spy anymore. She hands him the duplicate key and says goodbye - but he stops her, sits her down, and breaks the news to her that Matthew and Lindsay went missing in a Peruvian jungle...and, no suprise, she totally wigs out.

Claudia stumbles back to her apartment, looking wide-eyed and devastated as she mutters, "Matthew...Lindsay...Colby knew it all the time." With shaking hands, she tries to telephone Cecil, but he's not in...so she opens up a storage box, pulls out a gun, and stares at it. That can't be good.

Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

---