Recap: Jeff returns to Carrington manor after spending the day careening all over town looking disheveled. He heads straight to his (and Fallon's) bedroom and looks surprised to see Fallon asleep in their bed. He pulls out a suitcase and starts throwing clothes in it...and the commotion wakes up Fallon, and she sleepily asks him what he's doing. He glares at her and snaps, "I'm leaving Camelot." She says she has something to tell him, but he cuts her off and barks, "Just shut up. I don't want to hear another word out of that mouth." He accuses her of murdering their child, and Fallon looks pretend hurt and says, "You really do hate me." He tells her he hates himself for allowing her to slip out of the house and make it to the abortion clinic, then calls her selfish and soulless. Fallon sulkily retorts that he doesn't know her at all, but he just snaps, "I can't stand the sight of you!" and storms out.
Blake arranges to have colorful balloons and ginormous stuffed animals delivered to Fallon's room to celebrate the future birth of her spawn. She looks touched by the gesture, and Blake thanks her for not aborting his grandchild. She says that when the moment came, she just couldn't do it, and he lovingly takes her hands in his and says, "That's because you're beautiful inside." [She's not beautiful inside, Blake. She's ugly inside! She's as ugly as ugly can be!] He hands her a box and urges her to open it, and inside she finds a christening gown that apparently she, Steven, and Blake once wore when they were babies. She coos about how much she loves it, and Blake suddenly gets a faraway look in his eyes and talks about his mother and how poor they were, blah blah, and then tells Fallon she has his mother's eyes. Fallon tears up and hugs him, and Blake urges her to make nice with Jeff and reconcile. She makes a blech face and tells him that no way in hell is that ever happening, so he implores her to at least try. Out in the hall we see that Krystle is eavesdropping on the conversation and staring pensively into space.
Blake drops by Krystle's bedroom and asks her where she went after storming out of the mansion last night. She tells him she drove around aimlessly, then stopped at a phone booth and called him - then hung up after that bitch Alexis picked up the phone. Blake grimaces and says, "Oh - that was you who hung up." He says she should have asked to speak to him, since it would have avoided unwarranted upset on her part...and speaking of unwarranted upset, Krystle starts wailing about unimportant she's felt ever since she learned she was infertile - plus, he really seems to enjoy having Alexis around. Well, d'yuh. Having Alexis around is by far the most enjoyable part of watching Dynasty. Blake says she's making a big deal out of nothing, then reminds her that she promised to get some much needed therapy from Dr. Toscanni. She tells him she did go to a few sessions, but doesn't want to do it anymore. Blake shakes his head in exasperation and orders her to pull herself together, and she whirls around to turn her back on him...and he just kind of stares at her backside for a few seconds before quietly exiting the room.
Jeff is cleaning out his office at Denver-Carrington when Blake bursts in and asks him whassup about him quitting his job. Jeff announces that he's divorcing Fallon because she just aborted their child. Blake smiles to himself, then lets his son-in-law in on the happy news that Fallon didn't actually go through with the abortion. Jeff scrunches his face in confusion and is all, "Wha-a?!"
Fallon asks Joseph to order the kitchen staff to buy ice cream so that she can satisfy her pregnancy cravings. Joseph smiles and remarks on how much more exotic her mother's cravings were when she was pregnant with her and Steven. Fallon ambles over to a nearby living room, where a tired, miserable looking Krystle is drinking tea and pensively staring into space. Fallon says, "You're looking well today" and snarkishly comments on how she's no longer sharing a bedroom with Blake. Krystle tells her to knock it off, so Fallon sassily asks her how Nick is doing. Krystle pretends to look clueless and goes, "I dunno" and says she hasn't decided whether or not she's going back to his office for more therapy. Fallon announces that she's off to do some shopping, then tells her to say hey to Nick for her...and Krystle stares after her, looking puzzled.
Fallon arrives at the restaurant where Nick is eating his lunch. She proudly tells him she manipulated his secretary into telling her where he was dining, then sits down uninvited. He glares at her and wryly says, "Have a seat." She ignores his obvious disdain for her and tells him she took his advice and decided not to abort her baby after all. He asks her if she's happy about it, and she asks, "Don't I look it?" then says she's mostly happy 'cause she's sitting at a table with him. He tells her she made a wise choice in keeping her child, and she reaches for his hand and says, "I love you." He looks around shiftily and warns her that people may be watching them, but she just shrugs and tells him that Jeff officially walked out on her this morning. She says, "I know how rotten I can be" (well, d'yuh), then says she can be whatever he wants her to be - 'cause yeah, that makes for a healthy, adult relationship. He stares at her with one eyebrow raised and tells her he can't offer her much...well, any hope in terms of anything remotely resembling a relationship. He reminds her that she's pregnant and married to another man...not to mention a shallow, selfish, vapid, cunty, soulless waste of human skin. Fallon puts her sad face on, and - OMG! - it looks as though her tiny brain may have finally fully processed the painful reality that Nick has absolutely no interest in her, and she gets up and quickly scurries out of the restaurant. A few seconds later, the waiter comes over carrying a rotary telephone and tells him Nick he has an emergency call. It's Blake, ordering him to come by his office for an impromptu meeting this afternoon.
Over at the lake cabin, Steven phones the mansion and informs Joseph that he and his skanky bride will be returning home later today...and Sammy Jo eavesdrops on the call and grimaces with displeasure. She tells Steven she doesn't want to go home, then shows him all the travel magazines she bought and suggests they jet off to France for a lavish honeymoon. He tells her they'll go someday, and she throws a mini tantrum and wails, "I wanna go now!" He explains to the nitwit that they can't afford to go...well anywhere until he's able to save up the money, and she gaily chuckles 'cause she truly thinks he's just kidding around. He earnestly tells her that just 'cause he's a rich man's son, doesn't mean he's rich, and Sammy Jo scrunches her face in confusion, then snarks, "You could have told me this!" He stares back at her, perplexed, and asks, "Why? Does it make a difference?" [LOL - seriously, Steven?] Sammy Jo pauses a moment, careful not to derail the gravy train she somehow lucked her way into climbing aboard, and wisely pretends not to give two hoots about Carrington money. She jokes that had she known they weren't honeymooning right away, she wouldn't have spent $10 on travel magazines...then falls into his lap and makes out with him.
Fallon returns to the mansion in her fancy red car...and after she parks and turns the engine off, she buries her head in her hands. Alexis happens to walk by at that moment and asks her if she's OK, so Fallon starts whining about how she used to have everything. Alexis chuckles and tells her she does still have everything, then implores her to call her mother. She says she really does love her and points out that she needs more people than just Blake on her side, then invites her to come over to her little studio for some tea. Fallon accepts.
Over tea, Alexis asks her daughter if the baby is really Jeff's, and Fallon confirms it is...though I don't get how she could be 100% certain, since she was doinking both Jeff and Nick around the time of conception. Alexis asks her whassup with her mopey mood, so Fallon says she's in love with the guy she cheated on Jeff with, but he doesn't share the sentiment (to put it mildly). Alexis asks her if the guy's married, and she says no - but that he's into another woman. Alexis asks her if she loves this man and Fallon says she does and that she'd do anything for him. Alexis shakes her head dramatically and encourages her to fight for the man she loves, and to find out who the woman is he's in love with is and fight her too. LOL. That has to be the worst advice ever dispensed by a mother...especially to a vapid nitwit of a daughter who's already married and pregnant with her husband's child (according to her, anyway).
Nick and Krystle meet in a secret outdoor location, and he tells her that Blake called him and requested a meeting. He wonders if the old goat suspects anything, but Krystle points out that there's nothing to suspect. Nick argues that there are feelings between them, and reminds her that they both want each other...but Krystle just stares at him pensively and says she needs time to think about all this. He barks, "Think about what? Alexis and Blake?" and Krystle says she's not exactly sure what happened between the two of them. He says that the newspapers pretty much said it all, then advises her to preemptively dump Blake before he can dump her for Alexis. He then points out that Alexis lives on Blake's property, and if he truly wanted to get rid of her, he could. Fair point. Krystle looks overwhelmed and wails that it's all happening too fast and that she needs more time. The two stare mutely at each other, then lock themselves in each other's arms and smooch.
Blake tells Nick he's disappointed with Krystle's lack of progress despite their therapy sessions...plus, she seems more depressed than ever. Nick points out that he hasn't been treating her long enough to expect real results, then comes right out and says, "The problem is you." He says that whenever people don't react the way The Great Blake Carrington wants them to, he has a tendency to get all bitchy and judgmental. Blake points out that he's paying him a lot to get his wife back to normal and expects more for his money...and Nick is just like, "Whatever" and announces that he's abruptly resigning from the case. In his opinion, Krystle doesn't need therapy - and Blake interjects by sarcastically quipping, "She needs someone more considerate?" and Nick is like, "Well, d'yuh." Blake gives him the narrow squint-eye and says it's obvious he holds something against him and demands to know what the hell it is...and this triggers Nick's dirty, hanging feet flashback again. He snarks at Blake that if someone hurts a member of his family, it hurts him too, and Blake scrunches his wrinkly face in confusion and is all, "Huh?" After Nick exits the office, Blake gets on the horn to his Personnel Director and tells him to send up whatever files he has on Nick Toscanni.
Steven and Sammy Jo return to the mansion. Sammy Jo excitedly honks the horn and tells Steven she wants to announce their marriage to whoever's within hearing range, but Steven tells her to put a lid on it and says he needs to tell Blake before anyone else finds out. Alexis sashays over and hugs Steven hello as Sammy Jo sulkily stalks off. Steven excitedly tells his mother he won a car race, and she gives him a funny look and says she has no idea what the hell he's talking about. LOL. Inside the mansion, Sammy Jo tells Krystle that she and Steven tied the knot, and Krystle looks pensively horrified. Sammy Jo looks disappointed at her aunt's muted response and says she thought she'd be happy for her, then points out that they're both married to Carrington men now. Oh joy. Over in the studio, Steven tells Alexis about his new marriage and calls Sammy Jo "a wonderful girl" and then also announces, "I'm going to be a professional race driver!" Alexis stares at him in incredulity and mutters that this car racing nonsense must be a result of Sammy Jo's influence, then points out that he doesn't have the money to pursue this new career 'cause race cars cost a fortune. Steven says he was hoping she'd lend him the money, but she refuses and says after his pool/coma accident in the Fallon's Father episode, neither she nor Blake are going to do anything that will enable him to put himself in physical danger.
Krystle runs into Steven on the grand staircase and congratulates him on his ridiculous marriage. He asks her what she really thinks of his sudden nuptials, and she admits she's concerned that it might have happened too fast. Steven looks irked at her disapproval and says he thought he had at least one friend in the mansion, then petulantly declares he doesn't care if Blake disapproves of his choice of a wife. "It's done!" he defiantly exclaims.
Blake has ordered Fallon and Jeff to report to his office at Denver-Carrington to discuss their marriage and impending parenthood. Fallon snidely tells Jeff she's getting a divorce 'cause it's what she wants, and he scowls at her and retorts, "Then get it!" The two then start bickering back and forth until Blake yells at them to shut up. He says he won't tolerate them even thinking about getting a divorce, and Fallon snarks back that it's all she thinks about. Blake then tries to wax philosophical about the kind of people they are at their core [um...rotten?], and reminds them that they've been blessed with extraordinary privilege in life...but with that privilege comes responsibility. Jeff laughs at the thought of Fallon being responsible, and I laughed too. Blake says that now that they've conceived a child, that child has the right to live under the same roof with his/her mother and father. He tells them to abandon the notion of a divorce, so Jeff and Fallon both stare into space contemplatively...and eventually Jeff agrees to move back into the mansion for as long as he can stand living in close proximity to his cunty wife. Fallon promises her father she'll hold off on any divorce plans, then rolls her eyes derisively. This arrangement sounds like it'll be super fun for the poor, hapless baby once it arrives.
Jeff finds Claudia in his office, filing papers. The two chit-chat about the endless search for Matthew and Lindsay, and then he breaks the news to her that Steven just got married to Sammy Jo. Claudia's all, "Wha-a?!" then decides she's totally fine with her ambiguously gay ex-lover hooking up with another woman and calls it wonderful. She smiles reassuringly at Jeff and tells him she's over the whole Steven thing 'cause she has a whole new direction in her life, and Jeff raises his thick caterpillar eyebrows and looks impressed at her upbeat 'tude.
Ray Bonning shows up at the locker room where Blake's football team has just finished up one of their practices. He tells the coach that Rhinewood is unhappy with the dismal performance of the quarterback and wants him to cut him loose, like pronto. The coach argues that that would be a bad move, but Ray just stares at him with his soulless piercing blue eyes, and then orders him again to lose the quarterback, then saunters off with his thug. The coach makes a beeline over to the phone and calls Blake...and in the next scene, Blake arrives in the weight room, and says a casual hey to all the players. The coach greets him and motions over to where Ray and his thug are standing, and Blake walks over to confront them. He bitchily orders Ray to stop meddling with his football team, and to stay away from the coach. Ray just gives him a cold stink-eye, then stalks off without replying.
Fallon arrives home and finds Steven in the study. He excitedly tells her he just got married, and she widens her eyes in horror and makes a face as she asks, "Sammy Jo?" He nods happily and hands her a glass of champagne so they can toast his boneheaded decision to enter into such an obviously ill-fated marriage. Fallon just shakes her head and says that Sammy Jo's sexy and everything, but she's as dumb as a post and impossible to have an adult conversation with. That's amusing, coming from Fallon. Steven looks offended and says (and I quote), "Sammy Jo is smart" and insists that he loves the nitwit...and Fallon responds by staring into space and looking discombobulated. Steven's clearly miffed that no one at the mansion is even pretending to be enthusiastic about his new marriage, so Fallon throws him a bone and gives him a sisterly kiss on the cheek and wishes him the best of luck.
Sammy Jo flounces into the kitchen in Carrington manor and helps herself to a cookie. She runs into Alexis and tells her new mother-in-law that she's going riding, then asks her if she heard about her marriage to Steven. Alexis glares at her and says she did hear about it, then coldly adds, "I was thrilled to bits." LOL. Sammy Jo asks her if it's OK for her to call her mother now, and Alexis replies, "No, it's not OK" and haughtily tells her she may refer to her as Mrs. Carrington. Sammy Jo says she's good with that and cheekily points out that there are now three Mrs. Carringtons currently living on the estate...and Alexis continues to glare at her new daughter-in-law as she heads off to the stables.
Alexis drops by Krystle's room to complain about the quickie marriage. Krystle pretends to be delighted and gushes about how much she adores young love. Alexis snarks that she wants the travesty that is her son's marriage to be annulled, but Krystle says there's no legal cause for an annulment because Sammy Jo is of age. Alexis notices the tabloid newspaper Krystle has in her room, which features the photo of her and Blake canoodling. She chuckles that Krystle is plainly too upset to think clearly about anything. Krystle admits that she has been thinking about her and Blake, and Alexis grins evilly and says, "Yes...I would too if I were you." She implies that she and Blake hit the sheets while they were in Italy, then says they're meant for each other. After she leaves, Krystle dissolves into tears and calls Nick and wails that she needs to see him right away.
Over at Nick's house, Krystle tells Nick she now believes that Alexis and Blake slept together and that it's making her feel like less of a woman. LOL. She then mutely stares over at Nick, and he mutely stares over at her...and then she moves closer to him and continues to mutely stare at him while he continues to mutely stare at her. OMFG. The spell is finally broken when she says, "Say it again...what you said earlier", so he shoots her a smoldering look and says, "I want you. I need you to be with me, Krystle." Strengthened by his lust for her, she tells him she's going to confront Blake about his philandering and then ask for a divorce. Yay!
Blake and Jeff chit-chat as they walk over to their cars in the Denver-Carrington parking lot. Jeff is about to tell him about the unholy coupling between Steven and Sammy Jo when suddenly a car drives past them transporting a huge dynamite stick. Whoever's in the passenger seat tosses the explosive inside Blake's car...and Jeff thinks fast and pulls Blake several feet away from the car and shields him with his body. Seconds later, the car blows up and becomes a gigantic fireball. After the dust settles, Blake tells Jeff he's OK - but cancels that when he realizes he's blind. He gruffly wails, "My God! I can't see. I can't see anything at all!"
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