Dynasty - Season 1, Episode 5
Recap: Steven is at the rig/work site, smeared with dirt as he toils in the mud. When he stops for a moment to rest, he removes his gloves and winces at his many blisters. Suddenly a limo arrives...and it's Blake, dropping by unannounced. Steven anxiously tells his dad he'll have to wait until he gets home to talk 'cause right now he's too busy working. Blake chuckles condescendingly and tells him to run along and get back to work, 'cause he's not the reason he stopped by. Walter and Matthew emerge from the portable office/trailer thing to see whassup, and Walter jokes about wanting to bust Blake's jaw in retaliation for when he sicced his Dobermans on him at the wedding. Matthew asks him what he wants, and instead of just giving him a straight answer, Blake thanks him and Walter for hiring his inept gay son and teaching him how to do "man's work". A mortified Steven is promptly sent on a faux errand so he can stop wishing the earth would open up and swallow him whole. Blake admits that coming to the rig wasn't easy, but he wanted to apologize for his recent "unfortunate behavior". He reminds Matthew they used to be good friends (that seems doubtful), credits him with being a great geologist, and admits how dumb it was to let him quit Denver-Carrington. And so, in an effort to atone for his douchebaggery since...well, the pilot episode, he invites Matthew, his loony wife, and Walter to the mansion on Saturday night for a "gathering of influential people"...and then orders Michael to hand the men their gold embossed party invitations. LOL. Matthew looks skeptical and accuses Blake of inviting him only 'cause he wants a shot at their oil leases. Blake grins and confirms that, yes, he does want their ratty-ass operation to be under the umbrella (meaning total control) of Denver-Carrington. Don't do eeeet, Matthew! Don't goooooo!!!
Over at Carrington manor, Krystle is meeting with clothing designer James Beaumont. He shows her a bunch of sketches, and she stares at them pensively and asks him how much her fabulous new wardrobe is going to cost. James looks befuddled and tells her he always just hands the bill to Blake and waits for the check. Krystle insists on learning how much her clothes will cost, so James pretends to think very hard and estimates that, for the current season, her outfits will run somewhere between $75,000-$100,000...not including furs. Krystle's eyes widen, and her pensive expression changes to one of shock...and at that moment, Fallon enters the room with an amused expression on her face. Krystle tells James she wonders if Blake really wants her to order all these clothes 'cause he never said a word to her about it. Fallon interjects and tells her that daddy does this kind of thing to her all the time...but he always leaves her a note in advance, encouraging her to shop to her heart's content. Krystle goes back to looking pensive and tells James she can't order any new clothes without first discussing it with Blake, then flees to her bedroom.
Krystle finds the Hi Honey - I'm footing the bill for your brand new wardrobe note from Blake, and is reading it when Fallon appears in the doorway. Krystle tells her she feels funny ordering expensive new clothes when Blake is in the middle of a financial crisis, especially since she already has a closet full of outfits Blake bought her while they were dating. Fallon rolls her eyes and explains that he bought those rags for her when she was just his girlfriend...but now that she's his wife, she'll need to upgrade everything. She derisively chuckles at Krystle for not being able to win over everyone in the house (her included), and advises her to listen to people when they're trying to help. Krystle assures her snotty step-daughter that she's eager to learn, so Fallon tells her the most important thing she must grasp is how rich people function during times of crisis: spend like a drunken sailor. Krystle scrunches her face in confusion, so Fallon uses Blake's upcoming dinner party as a case in point: important people will be in attendance (not really), and they're going to pass judgement on stupid shit like how the table is set, how respectful the servants are, and how expensively Blake's wife and daughter are dressed. She tells Krystle to get Joseph to divide up the clothes she currently has in her closet among the servants, then work with James Beaumont to build up a fancier wardrobe. Krystle tells Fallon she's not sure if she should thank her for this advice, but Fallon bitchily tells her not to bother, since "it wasn't a gift".
Back at the rig, Walter is studying his gold embossed party invitation. Matthew tells him he has no desire to attend the dinner party, and would prefer it if Walter didn't go either. He reminds him about the Doberman attack and how Blake ordered his bodyguards to beat him up...but Walter's ready to let bygones be bygones and credits Blake with having the courage to show up at the rig and apologize for his psychotic misdeeds. He nods as he recalls Blake's apology and admiringly gushes, "That's my kind of man." LOL. He also really likes the idea of mingling with rich oil men at the Carrington estate and tells Matthew that the gold embossed invitation is their "passport to wealth", and that more deals are made in rich peoples' houses than...well, those that are not. Matthew shrugs disinterestedly and tells him he can go if he wants. Walter says he dang well will go, and urges Matthew to attend - unless, of course, he's too afraid of looking at Blake's wife across the table, while knowing he can't lay his hands on her. Walter lumbers out of the office/trailer, leaving Matthew to stare contemplatively at his invitation.
Krystle is swimming in the luxurious Carrington pool. When she comes up for air, she stares pensively at her surroundings.
Late that evening, a shirtless Matthew is glumly staring out the window of his bedroom. Claudia rolls over in bed and tells him that maybe Walter's right - meaning he should go to Blake's party. She asks him if he's worried about taking her for fear she'll have an embarrassing meltdown, but Matthew insists it's the furthest thing from his mind...though not really 'cause a second later he says he wants her to slowly ease back into life and not "push it". She reminds him what he said to her during the previous episode about not wanting to be married to a mental patient...and at first he denies saying it [sorry Matthew, but my recap is documented proof], then takes her word for it and says it was a shitty thing to say. She tells him he's right to not want to live with a basket case (well d'yuh), then thanks him for paying her exorbitant funny farm bills without ever complaining about what a complete financial, emotional, and marital drain she's proven herself to be. She says it's time for her to pay him back and tells him she wants to attend the dinner party...and will do her best not to have an emotional breakdown in front of Blake and his rich friends.
Krystle enters the kitchen where all the servants are preparing for the dinner party. The gardener (hey, he really did get re-hired!) is hard at work on a flower arrangement and politely tells Krystle he just delivered a fresh bouquet to her room. Joseph and his snooty aura enter the kitchen, and Krystle bounds over to him and gushes about how wonderful everything looks...and he rudely ignores her and stiffly walks over to the oven to check on the lamb. Krystle tells him she'd like to speak with him in private, and he tells her there's still a lot of work to be done...but she's determined to show him who's boss and forces him to follow her into the adjoining room. She tells him she knows she's new to Carrington manor and all that, gets that there's a certain amount of resentment against her now that she's the lady of the house, but wonders if maybe the two of them could somehow become BFFs. Joseph looks horrified at the thought and tells her that a friendship would be inappropriate. Krystle looks disappointed and murmurs, "I see" and then asks him for the party's seating arrangements. He dismissively tells her that everything has already been arranged - but she demands to see it anyway, so he reluctantly hands it to her. She studies it carefully and remarks that Matthew and Blake should sit next to each other (they probably shouldn't), and Joseph haughtily disagrees. Krystle glares at him and asks him if he likes his job, and he coolly tells her he could easily find employment elsewhere. Krystle gleefully points out that if she's ever called as a reference, she'll tell his prospective employers what a petty, insubordinate, and uptight dickwad he is. He finally looks suitably chastened...and embarrassed that his staff is within earshot and have, no doubt, been eavesdropping on this conversation. Krystle barks at Joseph to follow her, so he trots behind her as she heads back into the kitchen to needlessly announce to everyone that there will be a new seating arrangement for the party...and Joseph will provide all the details. She politely thanks everyone, tells Joseph he's a good worker, and that she'll speak to her husband about increasing his salary. Say what? Not only does this snooty man-bitch not deserve a raise, but it's really bad form to announce an employee's raise in front of employees who aren't getting one.
Krystle heads out to the hallway looking emotionally spent and lowers herself on a plush chair to mull over what just happened. Blake happens to enter the hallway at that moment and asks her if she's OK and if the staff is still giving her a hard time. She gives him a wan smile and says she's finally reached an understanding with Joseph. Blake looks pleased and hands her a velvet box, which contains a sparkly necklace and matching earrings. He tells her she should wear them to the dinner party, then contorts his voice to MIMIC HER and jokingly asks her if they can afford to buy expensive jewelry. Krystle sheepishly recalls Fallon's stupid advice from earlier and tells her jerkwad of a husband that even though he's in serious financial trouble, it's perfectly sensible for him to be spending a small fortune on bling she doesn't need. She swiftly changes the subject and asks him if it's in Matthew's best interest for Blake to take over his oil leases (what do you think, dummy?) and Blake says it is definitely is. Krystle asks him if what he just said a second ago is really true - LOL - and Blake asks her if he's ever lied to her. She ponders that loaded question while the scene fades out.
It's dinner party time! The guests are gathered around the long dinner table, and everyone seems to be having a good time. Someone tells a lame joke, and Walter slaps his thigh and starts cackling like a deranged hyena. Matthew glumly stares at Krystle from across the table...and this doesn't escape Claudia's attention.
One of the trophy wives compliments Krystle on the superb dinner (not sure why - she didn't cook it), and Blake invites everyone to retire to the sitting room for brandy. Fallon strikes up a conversation with Matthew, but then Jeff interrupts to ask her if she'd like to go for a ride. She irritably tells him they can go for a drive later, but right now she wants to mingle. Cecil overhears the snarky exchange and looks displeased. Blake watches Krystle, who continues to mingle with the trophy wives who are now tittering about a woman in their circle who's currently cheating on her husband. Cecil ambles over to Blake and tells him his new wife is lovely, and that it's too bad he had to cut his honeymoon short. He invokes the fiasco in the Middle East and tells Blake he knows he has a fortune locked up over there. Blake breezily replies that it's just one of his many fortunes, then asks Cecil what it would cost him if hypothetically he desperately needed some cash to ride out the crisis. Cecil says he'd want a piece of the oil leases he knows Blake will underhandedly take over from Matthew and Walter...and Blake chuckles and says he's not going to allow himself to be robbed. Cecil laughs and says he had to give it a shot, then assures Blake his help won't cost a thing. Blake perks up at this, and Cecil remarks that Fallon and Jeff make a nice couple (they make a horrible couple), and that the two of them should have lunch sometime to work out the details of this arranged union...which was creepy and weird. Krystle comes over and asks Blake how it's going, so he tells her that Cecil offered to bail him out - but he's worried 'cause it seems too easy to be true. Across the room, Fallon is annoyed with Jeff mostly 'cause he always seems to annoy her...but Cecil stops her and reminds her about their arrangement and says she has to fulfill her end of the bargain. Elsewhere in the room, Walter and his new rich friends are telling jokes and loudly guffawing, and Walter finds it hilarious when he's unable to lift his keister off of the chair he's sitting on. Matthew watches the spectacle in dismay, then scans the room for the nearest exit. To appease Cecil, Fallon joins Jeff at the bar and agrees to go for that ride with him, but only if he takes her where she wants to go: New Orleans. Jeff furrows his funny looking eyebrows (they furrow up instead of down...weird) and goes, "Are you serious?" and asks her when she's going to get a job, or at least engage in something remotely meaningful. Fallon shrugs disinterestedly and says, "I dunno." He lectures her about how being born wealthy is a responsibility, and she retorts (and this is a direct quote), "The hell it is!" She tells him she doesn't feel the slightest scrap of guilt for being born obscenely rich and doing nothing beyond flouncing around town and flaunting the wealth she did absolutely nothing to earn, and then petulantly complains that the evening has "lost its vitality". Cecil overhears that remark and shoots her the stink-eye, so she immediately reverses herself and tells Jeff he's right about everything he's ever said. She tells him he'll be her charity (um, OK..?) and kisses him. Michael, who's been tending bar and listening to their inane back and forth, looks annoyed that he may not be the only guy Fallon's sleeping with. Frankly, I think even he could do better than this vapid nitwit.
Two men ask a seemingly drunk Walter if his properties really have oil somewhere underneath, and he tells them they definitely do. They tell him they'd love to make a deal with him so they can get their hands on all that lovely fossil fuel, and Walter slaps his thigh and lets out a loud belly laugh.
Fallon and Jeff scamper outside to smoke pot. Fallon lights up a joint, while Jeff wrings his hands with worry that someone will catch them. He anxiously warns, "We could get arrested for fooling around with that stuff" but Fallon just rolls her eyes and offers him a puff. When he declines and says it confuses the thought process, Fallon shoves the joint in his mouth.
Walter is still acting like a buffoonish assclown, which is making Matthew cringe. Krystle comes over to Matthew to chat, so he tells her it's a nice party, and then she offers to give him a tour. She tucks her hand in the crook of his arm and steers him toward the patio door, and Claudia notices them leaving and stares around the party room looking discombobulated...and completely ridiculous in her scarily low-cleavage terry cloth sundress and severe, slicked back 'do. She heads across the hall and escapes to the study - and is startled when she encounters Steven, who's sitting by the fire, reading. She explains that she needed to escape from the party for a minute, and Steven sympathizes and says he hates these affairs and derisively describes them as a "thousand dollar a plate zoo". He asks her if all the lunatics are locked up or if they're pretending to be politicians or captains of industry, and Claudia gives him a funny look 'cause she clearly has no idea what the hell he's talking about. He asks her about her recent stay at the funny farm, then immediately apologizes for bringing it up. [He should probably just stop talking now.] Claudia calls his directness very refreshing and says she hates it when people walk on eggshells around her. He tells her that a lot of creative people are loony (just like her), then goes over to the bookshelf and pulls off a book by Emily Dickinson. He reads her a poem about madness ('cause that's not weird), then gives her the book as a gift. Yeesh - even by Dynasty standards, that was one strangely written scene.
Krystle and Matthew stroll outside and admire the outdoor gardens. He jokes about the "nice little place" she has, and she tells him how happy she is with her rich douchebag husband and that she has a good life. He, in turn, tells her he's happy to have his own rig...so then she tells him it makes good sense for him to bring his oil leases to Denver-Carrington 'cause Blake could make him a very wealthy man. Matthew gives her a funny look and accuses her of trying to buy him out for Blake, then asks her if she also supplies hookers to out-of-town executives. That was a weird leap. Krystle pensively tells him she didn't realize he hated her so much, and Matthew replies, "I don't hate you...I love you." She's all, "Wha-at?!" but he refuses to backpedal and insists that he'll always love her. She reminds him that during the pilot episode he claimed he didn't care about her anymore, so he explains that he did what he thought was the best thing at the time. Krystle angrily says she could have made her own decision, then flees back into the mansion...running past Claudia, who's standing in the doorway. Matthew shuffles toward Claudia and tells her how lame he thinks the party is and that he wants to leave. After the two disappear inside the mansion, Fallon and Jeff emerge from the bushes. Fallon's all, "OMG!" and we can safely assume the two just overheard the Matthew's declaration of love for Krystle.
Matthew tells Walter he wants to leave...and Walter informs him he sold some of their oil leases to the partygoers - then clarifies that he didn't sign anything, but sealed the deals with a handshake. Walter quietly explains to Matthew that he's been letting everyone think he's drunk (for no intelligible reason), and Matthew makes a face and says he hates playing games. Walter tells him he should learn how to play, otherwise he'll "get eaten alive". Absolutely nothing about this sub-plot makes any damn sense. Matthew tries to undo the deals that Walter made while he was pretend drunk, but Blake interjects and gruffly tells him he can't do that. Matthew is about to accuse Blake of using his wife to make deals, but stops short when he sees Krystle's pensively stricken face. Instead, he thanks Blake for inviting him to his party, then beats a hasty retreat with Claudia. A second later, Cecil sidles over to Blake and says it sounds like Matthew just told him to go to hell, and a grumpy Blake retorts that he's going to "blow him right out of the water". Whatever, psycho-nut.
Joseph enters the party room to inform Krystle that a problem has arisen that requires her immediate attention. The two hurry outside, and Krystle finds Fallon and Jeff frolicking in the pool, stoned and naked. She orders them to get out of the pool immediately, otherwise she'll tattle on them to Blake. Fallon climbs out, and the camera pans down to show us her naked feet as they pitter-patter in the direction of a towel. Krystle admonishes her for not being discreet, and Fallon snaps back not to lecture her on discretion 'cause she heard every word of the incriminating conversation she just had with Matthew. As she storms off, Krystle stares after her looking pensive and worried...I mean worriedly pensive.
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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