Recap: Carrie is gussied up in a figure hugging frock and her usual stilettos as she skips down a Manhattan street and then into a bar to meet up with Lisette. The two gush about how much they each loooooove their Manhattan homes, and then Lisette grumbles about how much it sucks to be dating in this day and age...and also how soulless is to be in a relationship with her phone, with which she wastes endless amounts of time scrolling and swiping. She cries, "I'm sick of it!" and throws her phone across the bar. She then gives Carrie a special homemade gift: a thick-chained necklace with 245 embossed on it, which signifies her old building number. Carrie pretends she loves it - just as the guy Lisette clocked on the head with her iPhone ambles over to ask whassup with her throwing her phone at him. He jokingly threatens to sue for assault, but instead orders drinks for the three of them.

Charlotte and Lisa are at their kids' school when they come upon a group of parents covertly discussing Lois Fingerhood, aka "the Ivy Whisperer". Charlotte and Lisa march straight to the principal's office to report that "something very disturbing" is happening right outside the front doors...and he leaps to the conclusion that there's a shooter on campus, and hastily puts on a bulletproof vest. He then mutters, "You scared me, you really did" when Charlotte and Lisa assure him that the disturbing thing isn't an imminent massacre [which seemed really weird to use as any kind of punchline, given the scary reality of school shootings in the U.S.]. Lisa tattles that some of the parents have broken the school code and hired an outside college admissions consultant...despite the fact that the school's on-site counsellor (Debbie) is perfectly fine. The principal makes a blech face at the mention of Debbie and says she had zilch to do with any of the school's recent graduates who got into Princeton. An alarmed looking Charlotte asks if they too should be hiring Ms. Fingerhood to counsel their children, and the principal says it's a moot issue 'cause they're unlikely to get an appointment with such an in-demand Ivy Whisperer at this late date.

Carrie is sitting in her little courtyard, tapping out some boring new drivel for her novel about "the woman". She types the date of when "the woman" moved into her townhome mansion (May 1846), and then looks up and smiles at a squirrel climbing a nearby tree. A few seconds later, dozens of rats suddenly emerge from the courtyard's foliage and simultaneously scurry about, prompting Carrie to shriek, "Oh my God! Oh my God!" and flee up the back staircase.

Carrie dictates a text message to Aidan about her rat problem and how skeered she is that they're going to get inside her house. She informs him that she called an exterminator who's coming by tomorrow, then wistfully adds, "I really wish you were here." She then stares sadly into space and deletes the text message.

Miranda is in the lunchroom of her workplace, listening as two of her co-workers watch a truly idiotic reality show named Bi-Bingo on one of their iPhones. They agree with Miranda about what a stupid waste of time the show is, but then cackle, "It's awesome." As Miranda joins them in watching one of the talking head segments, she becomes helplessly intrigued by the contrived drama of Bi-Bingo. 

The exterminator and his crew have cleared out all of the foliage in Carrie's courtyard, leaving no space for any rats to hide. A little while later, as Carrie is milling around her mansion, she's startled by little Shoo, who she shriekingly mistakes for a rat. As she cuddles the cheeky kitty, Aidan suddenly appears behind her, causing her to shriek a second time. Aidan shrieks as well and explains that he let himself in as one of the exterminators was leaving...and then the two laugh heartily about how they each almost had a heart attack just now. 

Aidan explains that his troubled son Wyatt is spending time with Kathy's family, and so he hopped on a plane to New York, in part to make up for how weird things got when she tried to initiate phone sex with him the other night, only to be abruptly shut down. He adds that he's been dying to smooch her in person, then picks her up and carries her to the bedroom. He promptly kicks out Shoo, who looks visibly peeved at being excluded from their sexing.

While strolling down a busy street, Charlotte natters at Anthony about how desperate she is to hire Lois Fingerhood to counsel Lily about college admission - but Anthony's like, "I really couldn't give the tiniest of shits" and tells her he brought her along on this outing to show her the new space he just leased for his Hotfellas Bakery. As they walk into the store and take note of all the renovating that's currently in process, Charlotte says she's very impressed and looooves that his bakery is just two blocks from her kids' school.

Carrie tells Aidan she's confused about the parameters of their relationship, clarifying that she's more than happy to give him "full space" to be there for Wyatt...however, she also wants to be able to communicate the stuff that's happening in her life (e.g. her troubling rat problem). She tells him she dictated a loooong diatribe about the rodent infestation - but then deleted it 'cause he made such a big deal out of not wanting them to be in communication until Wyatt outgrows his terrible teens. When Carrie adds that she's feeling very lost about it, Aidan grimly replies, "Yeah, I'm kinda lost too" and admits that his Incommunicado Edict was rooted in how upset and panicked he was when Wyatt binge-drank and crashed a truck into a tree. Aidan assures Carrie that she can and should text/call/write whenever she feels the urge.

Miranda is in her office, eating lunch and ignoring C-Span on the TV while she catches an episode of Bi-bingo on her phone and looks really into it.

Carrie is playing with little Shoo as she dictates a text message to Aidan about how desperately they need furniture, in particular a dining table she's been stalking online. She sends him a photo of it and asks for his opinion.

​While dining at a guacamole restaurant, Carrie shows Miranda and Seema the photo of her desired dining table and asks what they think, and they obediently tell her it's a perfectly wonderful piece of furniture. Carrie nods approvingly and grumbles that Aidan could only bring himself to reply to her text with a thumbs down emoji...and in retaliation she's (not) responding with angry silence. When Miranda and Carrie inform Seema that a man across the restaurant is brazenly checking her out, she glances over at the admirer and makes a blah face, and says she's looking to be more efficient about dating...in other words, no more wasting time on dead end losers. Miranda credits Seema for being a whole lot smarter than everyone on the idiotic reality show she's currently watching...and then she and the guacamole waitress (Ava), who has arrived with their food, agrees about how entertaining it is to hate-watch that kind of nonsense. Carrie, meanwhile, looks visibly miffed and perplexed at the sharp turn the table's conversation suddenly took.

Seema expresses concern that she's been hate-dating men. When Carrie asks her what that looks like, we get a montage of Seema snarling at the men who recently made the grave mistake of agreeing to meet her for drinks.

Joy drops by Miranda's office to ask whassup, and Miranda tells her she recently popped the cherry of a Manitoba nun. Joy looks intrigued by that juicy nugget, closes the door, and jokingly calls her the Anti-Christ.
​
Charlotte is at the gallery, getting a co-worker to hack in Lois Fingerhood's Instagram account.

Lisa is in her studio with her assistant (Grace), editing her never-ending docuseries, when Charlotte calls to tell her that Lois Fingerhood has just posted photos (on Instagram) of her son's little league game, which she's currently attending. Lisa perks up at that tip, and within minutes the two drop what they're doing and head over to the baseball field.

Charlotte and Lisa find Lois in the bleachers, cheering for her son. They seat themselves beside her, mention that they both have kids who are seniors in high school, and shamelessly beg for 30 seconds of her valuable time. Lois dismissively rolls her eyes and barks at them to talk fast, 'cause the bases are loaded.

Over at the ballet school, Lily is making out with her crush (Diego) when Charlotte rushes over to inform her daughter of a time sensitive development: Lois Fingerhood is willing to meet with her and Herbert Jr. on Thursday to discuss college admission, so she (Lily) will need to get someone to cover her piano playing shift at the ballet school.

Lisa, similarly, races over to where Herbert Jr. is playing lacrosse to inform her son of the important appointment. Even though she probably could have just texted him about it and then gone on with her day.

Seema struts back to her office, where her assistant passes along a message from one of her recent dates, to which Seema tells her to reply with, "Get lost." This prompts her business partner Elliot to express how deeply it pains him to watch her repeatedly throw perfectly nice men away as if there's an endless supply of them in the world. He says he'd like her to end this destructive streak by meeting with someone named Sydney later today, adding, "Just trust me."

Later, Seema is sitting in a fancy restaurant when she's joined by a woman who introduces herself as Sydney. Seema gives her a funny look and clarifies that she's not gay, and Sydney explains that she's a matchmaker. She then offers a rundown of Seema that seems to perfectly describe her...including a critique of her grisly wardrobe, photos of which are posted on social media and largely consist of her wearing metallics and tacky animal prints. She urges Seema to tone down her clothing choices and maybe embrace pastels more.

At home that night, Seema stares contemplatively at her empty bed.  

Carrie tells the exterminator that she wants him to sign a blood oath that there will be no more rats in her courtyard, and he promises to use the deadliest poison possible.

Over at Casa York-Goldenblatt, Charlotte and Lisa are pacing in the hall while their children are meeting with Lois Fingerhood. When Lois emerges after 45 minutes, she says she needs to use the restroom...and inside the living room, both Lily and Herbert Jr. look despondent. Lily wails that apparently she's too well rounded [which I find hard to believe], and Herbert Jr. laments that Lois told him playing lacrosse reeks of privilege. Charlotte reacts to this troubling outcome by hyperventilating and exasperatedly blurting out, "Lois Fucking Fingerhood!" - just as Lois appears at the doorway, contorts her face into a grim expression, and promptly sees herself out. It remains unclear why both mothers don't just let their nearly grown children manage the task of applying to various colleges themselves and then let the chips fall where they may.

Seema arrives at a restaurant to meet her date for the evening: a silver-haired fox named Jake. After Jake natters about his family for awhile, he orders tiramisu for the two of them and remarks to Seema on what a wonderful listener she is. Seema comes right out and tells him he hasn't actually met her, then reveals that she's not usually this quiet and agreeable, hates wearing the pastel blouse she current has on, and doesn't care for tiramisu. Jake applauds her honesty, then hastily excuses himself to use the restroom...and a few seconds later, Sydney sashays over and seats herself at the table across from Seema. She explains to Seema that she always covertly observes her clients on the first date, and informs her that Jake just texted he's fleeing the restaurant 'cause of how un-demure she came across. Sydney chides, "Jake is out. You blew it." Seema declares herself out too, snappishly says she has zero desire to pretend she's someone she's not, and storms out of the restaurant.

Miranda drags Carrie back to the guacamole restaurant so she can properly hit on Ava - but soon learns that although Ava loves idiotic reality shows about queer people hooking up, she's straight, married, and has two kids. Miranda looks suitably mortified by her inaccurate assumptions, while Ava ambles off to serve guacamole to her other customers.

​Carrie, who has been stewing about Aidan's thumbs-down emoji for days now, decides to reply by sending him a frowny face emoji. She later tells Miranda that she finds the notion of communicating via emoji quite stupid, while Miranda laments the fact that Ava is not a lesbian. She hastily moves on from that and mentions that she does have a crush on Joy (from her workplace) and wouldn't mind asking her out, and Carrie urges her to go ahead and do that, then has to rush off to meet with the landscaper she just hired to replant stuff in her courtyard.

Carrie returns to her mansion and looks around for little Shoo, who somehow escaped through the front door and is now in the arms of Adam the landscaper. She ushers Adam over to her courtyard and says she has no real vision for the now empty yard, other than to not be a rat infested hellspace. Adam decides it's exciting to not yet know exactly what it will be, and theorizes "what is meant to be will happen". Carrie then picks up Shoo and heads back inside, voice-overing about "the woman" (from her historical novel in process) who has just re-entered her townhome mansion. 

​Give "the woman" a damn name, Carrie.

​Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

Recap: As little (kitty) Shoo stares longingly out the window of her luxury Manhattan townhome, Carrie is hand drawing a heart on a postcard that's addressed to Aidan's Virginia farmhouse. She then throws on a jacket and dashes off to slip the postcard into the nearest mailbox.

That evening, Miranda drags Carrie and Charlotte along to a gay bar so she can have some moral support while she trolls for a lesbian hookup. Carrie tells the gals the latest on her muted relationship with Aidan: the two are exchanging blank postcards while he deals with his weird teenage son (Wyatt). Charlotte soon notices that a young-ish woman is staring over at Miranda from across the bar, prompting her and Carrie to hastily slip out. Miranda ambles over to the woman (Cassandra Walsh), who's all, "Hey Miranda!" and reminds her that she used to be Brady's old babysitter. Miranda pretends to have recognized her from across the bar, then tells her that she and Steve got divorced and sold the brownstone...and that Brady and Steve are living in a loft together while she (for some inane reason) is holed up in an Airbnb. She then brings up "the elephant in the room" and self-identifies as a lesbian, as well as a recovering alcoholic who drinks mocktails. Cassandra's like, "OK, fantastic" and says she's gotta run now 'cause she just saw her girlfriend walk in.
​
Seema has dozed off while waiting many hours for a FaceTime call from her boyfriend Ravi, who's still on location in Egypt, filming his latest movie. When the FaceTime call finally comes through, she's miffed when the face that appears on her computer is Ravi's assistant, who tells her that Ravi is too busy filming to talk to her. She ends the call, lights a cigarette, and promptly falls asleep and unwittingly sets the bed on fire. In the next scene, the fireman tells her she's lucky that only her mattress got burned, and she stares back at him incredulously as she wails, "Look at my hair!" (which got crispy from the flames).The fireman somehow refrains from pointing out that anyone who would do something as stupid as smoke in bed while exhausted should prolly be kicked out of the building as a needless fire hazard. 

Back at the lesbian bar, Miranda is being brazenly checked out by a smitten looking Rosie O'Donnell. While that's happening, an irate looking woman stomps past them as she complains to someone on her phone, "There's nothing but randos at the bar now" ... and when Miranda looks taken aback by the insult, Rosie O'Donnell ambles over and says she definitely wouldn't put her in the rando category. Shen then introduces herself, says she's from a small town near Winnipeg (despite her distinctive Long Island accent), and cooingly wanks, "You're soooooo pretty." She boldly shares that she has a hotel room nearby, and Miranda's like 'what the hell, I've got nothing better to do' and heads off with her new friend.

A restless Lisa slinks out of bed at 4:15am to work on her PBS docuseries.

Hours later, Miranda wakes up in bed next to Rosie O'Donnell, who gushes, "You are amaaaaazing", and lays it on thick about how their action between the sheets was so stupefyingly electric, but yet also so natural. When she shares that it was her first time sharing a bed with anyone 'cause she's lived her entire adult life as a nun, Miranda stares back at her with an aghast, weirded out expression.

Over in Central Park, a woman is screeching, "Monster!" at Charlotte's dog (Mr. Richard Burton), accusing him of previously attacking her small dog Peanut while he was aggressively racing around off-leash. Charlotte insists that Mr. Burton, aka her sweet angel, is never off-leash unless he's inside a dog run, while Lisa (who has accompanied Charlotte on her morning walk) urges the angry woman to chillax. The woman ignores Lisa and tells Charlotte she's on the hook to pay for Peanut's MRI, despite there being no witnesses of the alleged attack.

Later at home, Charlotte recounts the ugly park/Mr. Burton incident to Harry and Rock, and is adamant that their innocent dog shouldn't be accused of assault without proof. A few seconds later, Lilly saunters into the kitchen and reminds her mom that she and Rock are supposed to accompany her, Carrie, Anthony, and Guiseppe to the ballet rehearsal on Thursday...and when a disinterested looking Charlotte asks to be reminded why she's leaving her gallery job early to attend this kind of non-event, Rock slyly shares that Lilly is in love with the lead dancer.

Carrie - who has a cartoonishly floppy monstrosity atop her head masquerading as a hat of some kind - and Seema are strolling through Central Park, noshing on ice cream cones. Seema tells Carrie that she demanded Ravi fly to New York to see her so she can take that as proof he loves her, then wistfully asks Carrie what it's like to be so relaxed and mature about her relationship with Aidan. Carrie breezily tells Seema that she and Aidan have been in each other's lives for a very long time [though not really, since they only dated for maybe a couple of years before she dumped him for good], and clarifies that she didn't always give off the impression that she was secure and confident...which is probably one of the grandest understatements ever to be uttered on AJLT.

Lisa is in her studio, revealing to two PBS women the ten unsung, African-American "sheroes" she's chosen to highlight for her docuseries. They agree that her choices are amaaaaazing  - just as Herbert phones to stupidly ask, "Am I cool?" He explains that his campaign manager Chauncey has strongly urged him to increase his cool factor if he expects to successfully run for Comptroller of New York...and Lisa points out that there's nothing at all cool about that city job - plus, it's entirely uncool that he just interrupted her meeting. When she returns to the studio, the PBS women urge her to switch out one of her ten shero choices for Michelle Obama. Lisa points out that her docuseries is intended to highlight unsung women, remarking that Michelle Obama is "very sung". The women insist that the docuseries really really needs to include the country's first First Lady of color, then sashay out of the studio, assuming that their recommendation is a done deal.
​
Carrie is browsing through a clothing rack when she gets a home security phone alert that her kitchen door is open. She rushes down multiple flights of stairs (!) to disarm her alarm system, and then call the security company to confirm that all is well and complain that this is the third time the alarm has needlessly gone off. She proceeds to trip over her own feet and falls on the floor, and dials Miranda to lament, "I've fallen and I can't get up."

By the time Miranda rushes over to Carrie's mansion, Carrie has determined that she's uninjured - except for a sore pinkie finger. Miranda takes the opportunity to dish to Carrie that she recently had sex with a nun, then promptly gets a text from Rosie O'Donnell inviting her to dine together at Tavern on the Green. Carrie chuckles derisively at the lameness of stepping foot in such a touristy establishment, and Miranda concurs and says she's going to (not) respond to the invitation by ghosting the needy nun. 

Lisa is at home, preparing dinner for the family while grumbling about being strong-armed into featuring Michelle Obama in her unsung sheroes docuseries. When Herbert reminds her about the cocktail party she's throwing him to kick start his Comptroller campaign, she bitches about how Chauncey has been sending her endless text messages about it. She spots a collectible Black doll on the counter and asks her daughter (Gabrielle) what it's doing there...and when Gabrielle explains that she's doing a report on it for school, Lisa warns that it's going to really reek of pork if she doesn't move it away from the kitchen. Lisa then asks Herbert if anyone in his office has a connection to the Obamas, and he promises to check - before reminding her that including an Obama in her docuseries doesn't comport with her vision, and urges her to stand up for herself better.
​
​Carrie arrives at Lincoln Center and meets up with Anthony and Guiseppe, who schmaltzily gushes about how bella she's looking today. Anthony expresses surprise that she's at "this stupid ballet thing" and asks her why she's not in her fabulous mansion hanging with her Paul Bunyan boyfriend. Carrie explains that Aidan is out of town for an unspecified period of time...and Anthony reacts to that by contorting his face into an expression of disapproving puzzlement.

Lilly and Rock arrive at Lincoln Center and inform Carrie that Charlotte is not coming, 'cause Mr. Burton's dog walker quit after hearing about his alleged attack on Peanut. 

Inside the theater, Anthony presses Carrie about how long Aidan is going to be out of town, and Carrie shrugs and says she has no idea 'cause he's working out some family stuff. Guiseppe deftly changes the subject and asks her how her writing is going, so she says she hasn't written in awhile 'cause she's been consumed with aimlessly wandering around her ginormous new mansion. As the lights dim and the ballet rehearsal gets underway, Rock points out to Carrie the lead dancer that Lilly has the hots for.

Charlotte arrives at a doggie daycare with Mr. Burton in tow - but the intake clerk takes one look at him and mutters, "Oh no.." before informing Charlotte that he heard about his alleged attack on Peanut, who just happens to be chillin' nearby in his dog carriage. The clerk also makes it clear that he has zero interest in hearing Charlotte's side of the story.

After the ballet performance, Lilly jumps to her feet and enthusiastically applauds, and looks positively ecstatic when the lead dancer smiles in her direction...and excitedly informs Carrie that she's going to head backstage to say hi to her crush. Anthony, meanwhile, continues to press Carrie on her long distance relationship with Aidan and his family problems...and Carrie looks visibly annoyed by his inability to shut up about it and says the thing she most loves about ballet is that it contains "no words". When Rock ambles over, they and Carrie head off to get a cheeseburger...and a perplexed Anthony asks Guiseppe if she seemed displeased. Guiseppe confirms that, yep, she did and advises, "Don't be so you all the time."

Later at the townhome mansion, Carrie picks up her Magic 8 ball, shakes it, and looks comforted by the message that emerges: outlook good.

Late that night, Aidan calls Carrie and coos that he misses her soooooo much, then tells her he's been drinking several beers (away from the house so Wyatt doesn't get into his alcohol stash) and is now sitting in his truck that's parked in a remote field. He moans, "I ache for you" and says if he were there with her right now, he'd be touching her in orgasmic ways. He then orders her to "be me" with her hands, and unzips his pants - accidentally leaning on the horn in the process. Oops. He jokes about maybe having shit his pants just now (!), then hocks a loogie to generate some much needed lubricant for his dried out manroot as he pants, "I need this soooooo fucking much." Carrie, meanwhile, looks kind of weirded out [or maybe that was me - projecting] and seems barely into the phone sex, murmuring, "Me too. My goodness.." Indeed, Carrie. Oh my goodness.

Miranda calls Carrie to complain about how she keeps getting texts from Sister Rosie O'Donnell, asking her if she'd like to get together and ride on the Central Park carousel.
​
Ravi Gordi finally arrives in New York and heads straight over to Seema's place. He showers her with flowers, and breakfast in bed the next morning...then tells her that, before they can go to lunch at a fancy restaurant, he has one tiny task to do for his movie.

In the next scene, Seema is visibly annoyed when she realizes she's expected to cram herself into Ravi's van, along with his location scout team. When someone complains about the stench of her perfume, she irritably rolls down the window.

Over at Casa Wexley, Charlotte wails to Lisa about how Mr. Burton's Instagram account has several warnings about his aggressive behavior...and so Lisa, who can barely feign interest in the matter, wearily suggests to Charlotte that she just pay for Peanut's MRI and "make this go away". I second that. Charlotte refuses and calls her dog a "sweet baby angel" - just as Lisa's all, "Ack!" when she sees that Mr. Burton is chewing on the Wexley's collectible Black doll since - one has to assume - she smells of pork after being in the kitchen while Lisa was cooking during that earlier scene.

Ravi is scouting a waterfront location that can serve as an apocalypse backdrop for his movie - but the location they're currently scouting doesn't look nearly "apocalyptic enough". Seema reminds Ravi about their lunch reservation...and when he says they're definitely not going to make it, Seema covertly calls Carrie to complain about how her movie director boyfriend insists on doing movie directing stuff all day.

Over in Central Park, Charlotte runs into Peanut's mum and reluctantly agrees to pay the MRI bill - just as an aggressive bulldog barrels over and snarlingly growls at Peanut and Mr. Burton. Charlotte smugly informs Peanut's mum that this monster is her dog's attacker...and that she'd appreciate it if she would please take down all of the inflammatory Instagram posts falsely accusing Mr. Burton.

Ravi finally finds his dream apocalyptic movie location: an abandoned pier in complete disrepair. He asks Seema if she likes this spot - but she just grumbles about how he lost track of time (and her), forcing them to miss both their lunch and dinner reservations. She decides she can't be with a man who's gainfully employed as a movie director, calls the abandoned pier "the end of us", and then struts towards her car/driver she summoned as Ravi cries, "Seema! I will always love you" (while dramatic music plays in the background).

Herbert arrives (with Lisa) at his meet 'n greet, 'vote for me to be Comptroller' party at the Red Rooster. Lisa greets the AJLT gals, then ambles off to circulate among the guests. Carrie tells the gals about her recent phone sex with Aidan, which she feels really bad about faking 'cause apparently she's always honest with Aidan about her level of sexual satisfaction whenever they doink. 
​
Herbert gives everyone a thank you speech for coming to the party, then sings along with his college a cappella group for what seems like an interminably loooooong time. Harry somehow becomes so transfixed by the performance that he leaps up and shrieks, "Yeah baby!" before an embarrassed looking Charlotte shushes him. While that's happening, Anthony apologizes to Carrie for not shutting his trap about her long distance relationship with Aidan and begs, "Please don't cut me out." Carrie promises not to, admits that, yeah, she was kinda peeved, but then declares, "And just like that, I'm not. Apology accepted." She wryly adds that lots of people have opinions about her unconventional arrangement with Aidan. [While others only give the tiniest of rat's asses about it.]

Herbert's campaign manager Chauncey haughtily asks Lisa why no one cleared this a cappella performance with him, and Lisa dismissively snarks back that she's too busy to bother keeping him in the loop about any damn thing.

Miranda is at a bar with Carrie when she gets yet another text message from Rosie O'Donnell. Apparently, she just got done seeing Wicked and would love for them to meet up at the M&M's store in Times Square. Miranda says it'd be very bitchy to not respond to the kindly nun...and Carrie chortles at the anathema of a New York City resident purposely mixing with tourists anywhere near West 42nd Street. She condescendingly quips, "Give my regards to Broadway."

Rosie O'Donnell gifts Miranda a bag of customized M&Ms, and gushes about how much she looooooved seeing Wicked. She says this has been the best week of her life and asks Miranda if she'd like to knock boots a second time - but Miranda says she's not into that idea at all, and presumptuously begs her not to leave the church. Rosie O'Donnell gives her a strange look and says she has no intention of giving up nunhood, then breaks out into song: 'Because I knew you, I have been changed for good!'

Carrie kicks Shoo out of her bedroom, then calls Aidan to confess that she faked phone sex the other night - but is totally into it now. She promptly starts touching herself and lets out some convincing sounding moans - before Aidan tells her she needs to shut it down 'cause Wyatt is sleeping beside him after having a particularly bad night. As I laughed heartily, Carrie becomes so mortified that she hastily hangs up the phone...and a few seconds later, the kitchen alarm goes off again. She runs down the flights of stairs, resets the alarm, then decides to head over to her computer and do some writing. She taps out 'the woman wondered what she had gotten herself into', then stops and stares contemplatively into space.

​Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

Recap: Carrie arrives at her brownstone while chatting on the phone with Aidan, confirming that his troubled spawn Wyatt is safely recuperating at home from his near tragic joyride. After that, she gets a call from Samantha, who makes a pointless guest appearance to inform Carrie that - surprise! - she had planned to jet across the pond to attend The Last Supper - but since her flight is being delayed by three hours, there's no way she's going to make it to New York in time. She unconvincingly rails, "I'm fucking furious!", says she had really really wanted to pay the apartment her respects, and asks to be put on speaker so that she can directly address it as a "fucking fabulous flat". After that, she weirdly lapses into a thick British accent and pretends to be Annabelle Bronstein (a nonsensical shoutout to Sex and the City's Boy Interrupted episode), and wishes Carrie a lovely dinner party. This 73 second cameo - that had zero physical interaction with any of the AJLK cast - hardly seemed worth the $1million pay check that Kim Cattrall reportedly scored, but...whatever, producers. 

Harry wakes Charlotte, who's still fully clothed from collapsing atop her bed after getting sloshed the night before. He informs her that Anthony is on his way over to discuss "losing his ass virginity", then whines about how he's been solely parenting their kids for the last day and a half and "can't do it all". A groggy Charlotte shoots him a withering glare and points out that, in reality, he's doing the bare minimum of the job women are routinely expected to do, year after year. She adds that she fully expects him to help out, preferably without so much bellyaching, and wants to continue her work at the gallery 'cause of how super great she is at it. She then orders him to tell Anthony that she has no interest in weighing in on his virgin/non-virgin asshole conundrum.  

Miranda drops by Steve's new Coney Island eatery to sheepishly tell him that she doesn't want to just be in his past - but rather a pleasant presence in his present and future. She credits him for being right about a lot of their life decisions: having Brady, buying the Brooklyn house. When she says he wasn't right about them, he argues that he actually was...at least for a little while. As they pat each other affectionately, Brady arrives at the eatery on his bicycle and looks touched by the sight of his parents' togetherness. 

Nya's boss drops by her office to happily announce that she's been elected to the very prestigious American Law Institute, and that the panel's voting was uncharacteristically swift and unanimous. A stunned Nya's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and looks overwhelmed by the honor. 

Nya returns home and shares her exciting news with Miranda. She then sadly reflects that her first impulse was to call Andre - but then remembered that they're no longer a couple. She tears up and laments having no man with whom she can share her successes, self-piteously conceding, "There. I said it." She adds that she's really not feeling up to attending Carrie's dinner party, prompting a look of alarm from Miranda at the prospect of raising Carrie's ire by anyone pulling a no show. She beseeches Nya to attend what is sure to be a sumptuous Michelin chef-prepared feast, and Nya's like, "Yeah sure OK whatever."  

Lisa and Herbert arrive at Carrie's dinner party early and gush about the gorgeous place settings that include thick fancy napkins with - I shit you not - CB embroidered on them. A few seconds later, Charlotte arrives and cackles with Carrie about all the times they chowed down on cheap takeout in this very living room. While Carrie goes downstairs to check on the chef's staff (who are apparently cooking the food in Lisette's better equipped kitchen), Lisa covertly tells Charlotte that her implausible pregnancy is no more, and then Harry arrives and explains that he was just at the Apple Store, picking up a new iPhone for Charlotte. 

When Che makes their grand entrance, Lisette introduces herself, gushes about how much she loooooved their (wretched) podcast and asks if there's a new comedy venture she should be looking out for. Che despondently says there's absolute bupkis on the horizon, 'cause failing at one pilot has fully wreaked havoc on their comedic mojo. Lisette clucks sympathetically and recalls that she too indulged in a cocoon-like phase soon after she moved to New York - but then snapped out of it after making the butterfly ring she now wears on her finger everyday...and was so inspired by her own skill that she soon became a wildly successful jewelry maker. 

Jackie arrives with his wife Smoke - not exactly sure why those two peripheral cast members would be invited - and then Jackie and Che perform an impromptu roast of each other before hugging it out.
​
After entering Carrie's building, Nya glumly warns Miranda that she's not feeling very chatty tonight - just as she encounters the Michelin chef named Toussaint, who she had met and flirted with during the season premiere. She giddily shares that she's not married anymore, then sends Miranda upstairs without her so that she can flirt with the handsome chef some more. 

Miranda sees Che in the kitchen, taps them on the shoulder, and warns that they're going to have to refrain from any kind of blowup that could risk ruining Carrie's dinner party. Che promises to never perform the awful jokes they made about her at the club the other night, and Miranda expresses genuine shock at the vitriol, 'cause she was under the illusion that their toxic relationship had ended on a good note. Che says it did - up until the part where she ghosted them...then describes their disastrous coupling as a train wreck. Miranda argues that it was a good kind of train wreck, where no one died, and everyone eventually got off the train to get where they needed to be. Che mulls that over for a few seconds and laughingly agrees that, yep, the two of them were a good train wreck. 

Guiseppe announces to the partygoers that he's considering moving back to Italy next month 'cause he's not progressing in his career to the point where professional success is...'how do you say?' impenetrable. Anthony reacts by looking alarmed at that unsettling double entendre. 

Carrie chitchats with Ravi...and when he rushes off to take a work-related phone call, she chides Seema for acting so uncharacteristically mute and unsociable. Seema explains that she's deeply annoyed by how frequently Ravi is on the phone, and also really really regrets being the first one to say 'I love you', 'cause she's pretty sure that Ravi is starting to pull away as a result. Carrie points out that he clearly adores her and wonders if maybe she's the one who's been pulling away. She urges Seema to consider that Ravi could very well be the great love she's been waiting for her whole life...and to just take a deep breath and deeply ponder the possibility. 

Over in the privacy of Carrie's closet, Anthony rails at Guiseppe for threatening to leave the country because of his stubborn refusal to be anally penetrated. Guiseppe complains that the barriers between them are about more than his yet un-infiltrated asshole...they include the emotional wall he's always putting up. Anthony admits that, yep, he definitely has issues when it comes to relationships and lets it slip that he's only ever been in love once before [the other man being, I'm assuming, Stanford the Shinto Monk].

Carrie introduces her kitty Shoo to the guests, then announces that she's putting the feline to bed...despite cats being nocturnal and not so easily controllable about where they decide to lay their furry heads. As everyone coos over Shoo's cuteness, Lisa gets emotional and makes a beeline over to Carrie's bathroom...and a concerned Herbert follows her. She sits on the edge of the tub and wonders aloud if she "wished the baby away", and Herbert assures her that such a thing is literally impossible - 'cause duh - and that, assuming the whole thing wasn't just a phantom pregnancy, birthing a child in her fifties simply wasn't meant to be. 

Toussaint walks the dinner guests through the meal's first course while exchanging overt sexual innuendos with Nya. As everyone raves about the delicious appetizer, Ravi gets another call and rushes down to the building's foyer for privacy, while Nya and Toussaint continue flirting inappropriately.
​
Seema follows Ravi downstairs to urge him to rejoin the party, but he tells her he's busy trying to figure out how to get permission to film in front of Egypt's Great Sphinx. Seema doesn't buy that and accuses him of distancing himself from her because of her unprovoked 'I love you' declaration - but he insists that he has legitimate work issues to sort out, and that he's done nothing to give her any doubt about his reciprocated love for her.

Carrie instructs her dinner guests to each take turns blurting out one word that represents a thing they want to let go of...and the rules are: no passing, and no repeats. Most of the guests take the assignment seriously and say things like fear, control, possessiveness...and when it's Carrie's turn, she declares that she's letting go of expectations, e.g. no longer getting so wigged out about things not turning out the way she thought they might. Che wryly points out that that sanctimoniously insufferable speech was way more than one word (lol), and everyone raises their glasses to toast whatever they vowed to no longer burden themselves with.

​As the dinner party wraps up, Miranda rushes over to where Carrie is chatting with Charlotte and Harry to inform them that her boss is busy with her new baby and needs her to rush over to the BBC studio for a live interview asap. 

Toussaint offers to give Nya a lift home - just as Miranda races down the stairs to share her exciting BBC news, then dashes outside in time to hail a cab that just happened to be passing by at that exact moment. 

Later, Ravi tells Seema that he finally got official permission to film in front of the Great Sphinx and invites her to travel with him to Cairo. Seema sneeringly retorts that she's not interested in abandoning her well paying career to uselessly stand by a man's side - but then admits how terrified she is that he's leaving. Ravi assures her she has nothing to be afraid of, and that he'll promptly return to New York after the filming wraps 'cause 1) he's in love with her, and 2) she made him sign an iron-clad lease agreement for this luxurious apartment. Har har.

Miranda arrives at the BBC studio, and is hastily greeted by Joy before she's seated in front of the cameras to go live and answer some serious sounding human rights type questions. 

Later that night, Aidan shows up at Carrie's apartment to break the news that he's pausing their relationship in order to keep a close eye on the troubled Wyatt. He says he'll no longer be able to travel to New York to hook up 'cause he wants to be "the constant" for all of his sons...and rebuffs Carrie's offer to periodically drop by Virginia so that they can canoodle every now and again. Aidan insists that he doesn't want to lose her, but that he needs to focus on Wyatt until he's out of his teens: five years, give or take. He assures her that the time will go by like the quiet snap of a finger, and Carrie looks doubtful 'bout that...but that since she had declared to her dinner guests that she was letting go of expectations, she's decides that ultimately she's totes fine with having what seems like a weirdly estranged relationship. 

During the season finale montage...

• Charlotte and Harry are sitting in bed together, struggling to set up her new iPhone
• Miranda is enjoying friendly and enthusiastic banter with Joy at a bar
• A tentative looking Anthony is getting boned by an enthusiastic Guiseppe
• Che is smooching hairless Toby
• After Toussaint escorts Nya home, he asks her if she has anything to eat, and she happily invites him inside...and that's the last we ever see of either of them
• Aidan and Carrie are going at it in bed, as are Seema and Ravi
• Lisa stares contemplatively into space while being spooned by Herbert

The next morning, Aidan gives Carrie a goodbye-for-now kiss and assures her that their relationship will survive his Wyatt problems [though: not]. After he leaves, Seema calls Carrie to inform her that she got them a place on the beach, and it's not the Hamptons. In the next scene, we see that Carrie and Seema are lazily lounging on beach in Greece, enjoying the sunshine as Carrie somehow manages to order Cosmopolitans in Greek.

​Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

Recap: Carrie and Aidan stroll the Coney Island Boardwalk, then meet up with Steve, who just bought a new beachy eatery that offers clams, hot dogs, and beer. Aidan gets an unexpected call from Wyatt, who complains that his mom is "being a real dick", and so Aidan hastily rushes off so that he can listen to his son's grievances in private. While that's happening, Steve chitchats with Carrie about how he always liked coming to Coney Island as a kid, and later as an adult stared despondently out at the ocean when he and Miranda were having their marital problems. A few seconds later, Aidan returns and fibs that everything with Wyatt is A-OK, and then Brady swings by the new eatery on his bicycle.

Raina returns to her Human Rights Watch job sooner than expected after taking only five weeks of maternity leave, and Miranda shares that she took off a whole twelve weeks after having Brady, then winces as she adds, "It felt like a hundred." [I personally can't imagine having either such brief lengths of time after birthing a live human, but OK.]

Over at the Kasabian Gallery, Charlotte is showing some strange looking art to Sam Smith when her boss suddenly informs her that Rock is on the line for an emergency call. Charlotte is visibly annoyed when the "emergency" turns out to be a notebook that Rock forgot at home and needs for one of their classes. Charlotte promptly calls Harry [who is, I was surprised to see, busy at work at his law firm], but he says he doesn't have time to fetch the notebook 'cause he's in the middle of a brief...then meekly capitulates when Charlotte sternly reminds him that he had agreed to pitch in with their kids' faux emergencies during her 'rejoining the workforce' discussion. 

The next day over brunch, Charlotte gushes to everyone about how Lisa's documentary has been picked up by PBS to air as a ten-part series. If she ever gets around to finishing it, that is. A few seconds later, Charlotte gets a call from Lily, and irritably chastises her for interrupting her "me time" on a Saturday and abruptly hangs up. After that, Lisa shares the exciting news to Carrie that she was the grand prize raffle winner at her kids' school's charity event, and as such will enjoy a Michelin chef-prepared dinner party for sixteen guests. Carrie squeals happily and says it'll be the perfect excuse to throw one last fête at her old apartment. Oh joy.

After brunch, Miranda tells Carrie she's soooo excited to be working at the UN this week. Carrie says she's never been there despite having lived in New York for so long...and speaking of places she'd never been, she and Aidan were in Coney Island the other day to check out Steve's new beach restaurant. She describes it as "magical", and breaks the news that she's also planning on seeing Che's new comedy set. Miranda decides she's A-OK with Carrie spending so much time with her exes and admits that, yeah, it is kinda weird that she hasn't yet gotten around to seeing Steve's new Coney Island eatery.

While shopping for glassware, Lisa tells Charlotte she's somehow pregnant and that she's really really not up to the task of taking care of a newborn and can only assume that she'll fail at motherhood and her career as a slow-moving documentarian. Charlotte half-heartedly assures her she can do this - but Lisa argues that a new baby is way too much to manage at her [well past child-bearing] age. She wonders aloud how in blazes this could have happened...and, yeah, I can't help but wonder the very same thing. 

Over at the vet clinic, Judy tells Che she really really wants to come to their upcoming comedy show, which...ugh, Judy! Ugh. A few seconds later, Dr. Fisher emerges from the back office to misgender Che...and while Che complains about how frequently he does that, Judy clucks sympathetically. 

Anthony and Guiseppe canoodle in bed after a vigorous romp - but when Guiseppe expresses a strong desire go at it again with him on top, Anthony makes it clear that he's never been the bottom and never will be the bottom because he's "not the woman" in any of his relationships. Guiseppe scrunches his face perplexedly and says he doesn't get why they can't reverse sexual positions every now and again, so Anthony explains that for him it's a generational mindset that stubbornly dictates which role each gay is permitted to play while going at it in the sack.

Seema and Ravi are in bed getting it on...and when they exchange I love yous, Seema suddenly looks startled at the depth of affection she's suddenly developed for the cantankerous movie director.

Carrie is packing up her apartment while Lisette hovers and insufferably gushes about how much she'd looooove to snatch up whatever fashion scraps Carrie sees fit to leave behind. A few seconds later, Seema arrives with takeout, snipes at Lisette for getting too good of a deal on the apartment, then barks at her to skedaddle so that she and Carrie can enjoy their lunch. Once Lisette is safely out of hearing range, Seema tells Carrie about her latest "disaster": exchanging 'I love yous' with Ravi during sex. Carrie urges her to not hold back and "run after love" if she's feelin' it - but Seema complains that love clouds her senses, like when she didn't object very hard the time Carrie sold her apartment to Lisette at well below market value, for example. 

After their UN meeting, Raina tells Miranda that she has to rush off, leaving her to enjoy some flirty banter with Joy, a delightful BBC producer. Miranda explains to Joy that she's just been covering Raina's maternity leave at Human Rights Watch, and Joy says that, based on what she saw during their UN meeting, she's very impressed with her lawyering. The two then amiably shake hands and go their separate ways. 

Later, Nya tells Miranda she just got an e-invite to Andre's new lady's baby shower, and sheepishly admits that she had sent him several congratulatory-themed emojis. When Miranda says that surely she's not seriously thinking of attending the shower, Nya remarks on how maybe she should be the kind of person who cuts off exes, e.g. the way she (Miranda) is always doing. As a crestfallen looking Miranda chews on that insult, Nya clicks on the baby shower registry, sees a luxury baby carriage on the list, and buys it in the hope that Andre's new baby mama will be tortured every time she's reminded that her man's ex-wife is a Columbia law professor with a lot of disposable income. Seems like an odd stretch, but OK.

Che is watching videos of their past stand-up performances, wincing at the one where they had long hair and made cringy jokes about the need to starve in order to be acceptably thin for a career in showbiz. 

After tossing and turning in bed, Lisa rails at Herbert for not getting a vasectomy when she had asked him to years ago, and Herbert unwisely retorts, "I thought it was just the hormones talking." He then wankingly tells her that she'll do an outstanding job mothering a new infant and assures her that he'll be more than happy to pitch in every once and awhile. Lisa reminds him that he's running for public office and wonders aloud what'll happen if he wins. Herbert mulls that over for a few seconds and asks if they should be having "the other discussion", and Lisa hugs him, says she's grateful that she has that option, but that she could never bring herself to have an abortion [even though the word abortion somehow doesn't directly make its way into the conversation] and that she really just needs to wrap her head around this new reality. 

Carrie summons Anthony to her apartment to inform him that Stanford is staying in Japan forever, and that he's decided to live out the rest of his life as Shinto monk. He also apparently passed along to Carrie all of the legal papers necessary to divorce Anthony and leave him the apartment and his belongings...and I'll go on record saying that I found this to be a supremely shitty way to bid a final adieu to the late, beloved Willie Garson.

Charlotte's young co-workers convince her to go out for a drink to celebrate the sale of a gallery's art piece to Sam Smith. 
​
Carrie and Aidan are about to enter the comedy club where Che is performing when Miranda makes a surprise appearance. She explains that she doesn't want to be the type of person who cuts exes off, e.g. the way she treated poor Skipper back in the early days of Sex and the City. She adds that Che doesn't know that she's going to be in the audience...so, yeah, that'll be a real fun surprise.  

​Charlotte is getting increasingly drunk as she throws back shots with her young co-workers...and when her family keeps texting her, she gaily tosses her phone into a nearby margarita pitcher and continues drinking. Lol.

The hairless Toby arrives at the comedy club and gives Che a quick hey before they're summoned to the stage to deliver an unfunny set of jokes about Miranda, aka the confused married straight white woman with whom the sex took soooo long they soon became "confused about why I was fucking her". An appalled Miranda's all 'the fuckity fuck?!' and is eventually too disgusted to continue listening to the horrendous performance...and when she gets up and storms out of the club, Che notices, abruptly (yet mercifully) ends the set, and races out after her. Miranda whirls around, glares at them hatefully, and shrieks, "Not funny! Not funny!" and rhetorically wonders what kind of person makes tasteless jokes about an intimate relationship. When Che weakly points out that their comedy schtick is always cobbled together from the bad things that have happened in their life, Miranda makes it clear how deeply insulted she is that Che regards her as a bad thing. After she storms off, Toby emerges from the club and sympathetically listens to Che whine about being tired of always explaining themselves. Toby wankingly urges them to feel proud to own all of their feelings, then offers to tag along to wherever they are headed now.

A full-on drunk Charlotte eventually staggers home, where her waiting family stares at her in stunned bewilderment as they chide her for ignoring their repeated calls and texts. She slurringly explains that she tossed her phone into a margarita pitcher and has no idea what happened to either the pitcher or her phone, then reminds all of them that she was her own person long before she became a wife and mother. She rails at their need to "get it together!", then stumbles off to her bedroom and angrily slams the door - but then cooingly allows Mr. Burton to enter and sleep it off with her. Lol. 

While lounging in a hotel room, Carrie tells Aidan that soon she'll have their bedroom ready at the mansion, which she's already calling "our place". Aidan sheepishly admits that he feels bad about his past mistakes, including 1) pressuring her to "lock it down" back in Season 4 of Sex and the City, and 2) being such a dick lately about refusing to step foot into her apartment for fear he'd get mad at her all over again for doinking Big. A few seconds later, Kathy calls Aidan with the troubling news that Wyatt broke his collarbone after driving his (Aidan's) truck into a tree, and a panicked Aidan tells Carrie he's going to need to book a flight to Virginia asap.

Lisa wakes Herbert to tell him "something's not right" and that she's pretty sure she just suffered a miscarriage. 

As Carrie arrives at her empty mansion the next day, Miranda calls to let her know she's not comfortable coming to her dinner party, given that Che will be in attendance. Carrie's all 'tough shit' and insists she come...then goes on to condescendingly shame Miranda for not even knowing what's going on with Steve's latest venture, despite the life they once shared. Miranda somehow refrains from pointing out that none of this is, in any way, any of her damn business and meekly agrees to come to the dinner party. After that, a tearful Aidan calls to tell Carrie that Wyatt had gotten into a fight with Kathy, snuck out of the house and made his way to the farm, then had a few beers and drove the truck into a tree. He totalled the truck and broke a few bones, wailing incessantly about how he wanted to sleep at his dad's house. Aidan sobs, "I should have been there!" and Carrie coos that breaks eventually heal, but also concernedly voice-overs, "And just like that, for the first time I was worried."

Recap: Aidan meets up with Carrie at Che's Airbnb after what he complains was a very loooooong week. He gives Carrie a hello smooch, then remarks on how chatty he's being with people in the lobby. An alarmed looking Carrie warns that he shouldn't be chatty with anyone, on account of they're staying in an illegal Airbnb and are therefore supposed to be keeping their presence in the building deep under the radar. Aidan just kind of shrugs unconcernedly and passes along greetings from his sons, who allegedly would looooove it if she returned to Virginia for another visit. Carrie wryly says that fourteen year old Wyatt definitely did not warm to her...and Aidan admits that, yep, his youngest son is "a little tricky". He promptly Face Times with Wyatt, who grunts hello at Carrie, then rudely barks at Aidan to just text him next time, and abruptly ends the call. Following that unpleasant interaction, Carrie is panicked by a sharp knock on the door...and whoever it is slides a letter under the door. Carrie opens it and learns that the building management is onto them as Airbnb guests - no doubt due to Aidan's chattiness - and sternly warns that the guest limit has been officially exceeded. Carrie mournfully says this means they now have no place to hang out when he comes to New York...unless he's willing to step foot in her apartment, something Aidan continues to stubbornly refuse to capitulate on.

Ryan Serhant is showing a ritzy, 37K/month apartment to Seema and Ravi, who's on the phone, self-importantly nattering about something related to the movie he's currently filming. After he ends the call, he glances around the luxurious digs, mutters, "Eeh", and asks Seema if this is the best New York has to offer...and she irritably reminds him that she's shown him the best New York has had to offer for the last three weeks. He flirty retorts that, yep, she has and that he's greatly enjoyed these afternoons, then plants a big smooch on her lips, which she totally looks into. Later, Ryan returns to the apartment and is looking around for the two...and we see that Seema is upstairs, hurriedly getting dressed while a naked Ravi lounges atop the bed. He tells Seema to let Ryan know that he's decided to rent the apartment (now that he's made himself at home by doinking his real estate agent), and Seema rushes downstairs to tell Ryan that they have a deal...and is unable to come up with a reasonable sounding lie that adequately explains why her hair is suddenly so disheveled.

While strolling in Manhattan, Miranda asks Brady about his evening plans, and he tells her he's pulling a double shift at Scout. Miranda says she can't help wishing that he'd enrol himself in the academic summer program in Costa Rica they had previously discussed and pick up some college credits while he's enjoying the fun and sun. When he stares back at her with a weary looking expression, she hastily explains that she merely wants him to have options, then points out that these are important years for him to start figuring out his life's path. Brady snarkishly counters that she only found her path at age fifty-six [which isn't actually true, given that Miranda earned her Harvard law degree several decades ago] and snarks at her to back off.

​Miranda calls Charlotte (who's just arrived home after working late at the gallery) to ask her to please convince Lily, a very driven and focused teenager, to spend some of her leisure time with Brady and talk up the prospect of attending college. Charlotte promises to run it by Lily, then enters her kitchen and looks annoyed that her family ordered food on Grubhub for the umpteenth time this week. Harry whines that he's dealing with a catering crisis for Herbert's upcoming meet and greet [is he a low level event planner now?], namely that several Jewish customers are complaining that the dumplings are far too delicious to be kosher. Charlotte asks Lily if she'd mind heading over to Brooklyn to be a good influence on Brady and motivate him to get on the college track, and Lily rolls her eyes and complains that that'd be really really awkward.

Herbert finds Lisa conked out in her office/closet, and she sleepily explains that she got home hours ago, did some work on her never-ending documentary project, and then nodded off until just this minute. She then announces she's off to bed...and when an incredulous Herbert asks what he's supposed to do for dinner, she tells him he knows where the cereal is. [Along with the refrigerator, stove, plates and cutlery.]

Nya is loudly sexing with a much younger boy toy while Miranda lays awake in the next room, staring up at the ceiling in icked out dismay. 

A hairless woman (Toby) brings a box of kittens that she found on the street into the vet clinic where Che works. She tells Che that they look a lot like failed comedian Che Diaz...and so Che admits that, yep, it's them - but that they're currently working on a series of new jokes for an upcoming Comedy Store set. [Please no.]

Carrie returns home and finds Che waiting for her, along with one of the tiny kittens. Che asks her if, by chance, she'd like a new pet, adding that the sweet kitty has already made itself at home in her apartment by falling asleep inside one of her shoes. Awww.. Carrie cuddles the kitty as she ponders the notion of welcoming a cute feline into her life, then tells Che that she's off to dinner with Aidan and Seema. She also informs them that, oops, she recently received a sternly worded letter from their Airbnb building manager about her and Aidan overstaying their welcome. Che grimly says they know, and got an email to that effect - but happily adds that since they're now gainfully employed at the vet clinic, they can move back into the apartment and eke out a hand-to-mouth type living. [I seriously doubt that a vet receptionist could afford those luxury Manhattan digs, but OK.]

Seema brings Ravi along to dinner with Carrie and Aidan, who starts acting like a total fanboy when he learns that Ravi is the director of his favorite action flicks. An amused Carrie covertly tells Seema that she's quite impressed with her fancy new beau. 
​
After a romantic dinner, Guiseppe comes right out and tells Anthony he'd very much like to be invited up to his apartment, quipping, "Five dinners with no dick is not very gay." Anthony mumbles that he's not ready for the two of them to be bumping uglies, then hurries inside his building and personally insults one of his neighbors in the process. 

In the privacy of the restaurant's ladies room, Seema rails to Carrie about how wrong Ravi is for her, not least 'cause she doesn't like it when sexy actresses fawn over him via social media. She then clarifies that she's only casually dating him 'cause 1) it's fun, and 2) he's not marriage material. Carrie changes the subject with the announcement that she's finally ready to let go of her Upper East Side apartment in favor of a place that can better accommodate Aidan and his sons [spoiler: a moot point, since none of them ever end up coming to New York for a visit].

Carrie gives Miranda and Charlotte a tour of her new Gramercy Park mansion, and explains that she's going to need lots of space for Aidan and his boys, along with her shoe collection and hideous wardrobe. In other news, she shares that she's decided to sell her apartment (again), insisting that it feels right this time. A few seconds later, she gets a call from Kathy (Aidan's ex-wife), who wants them to get together for a stern chat next time she's in town.

Nya is loudly sexing again, which is hampering Miranda's ability to use the bathroom (which, unhelpfully, is only accessible from within Nya's bedroom).

Miranda returns to hers/Steve's townhouse and runs into a pants-less Lily as she emerges from Brady's bedroom. Miranda's all, "OMFG" and immediately gets on the horn with Charlotte to report the disturbing development...and Charlotte blurts out, "Wha-a-a-a-t?!" in full hearing range of her gallery co-workers. Charlotte dials it back to her inside voice and tells Miranda that Lily had texted her earlier to let her know that she was sleeping over - but on the couch - and Miranda wryly retorts that when she ran into Lily, she had been in Brady's room wearing a t-shirt and nothing else.

Miranda and Charlotte are out for lunch, each struggling with the disturbing visual of their kids in the sack together. Charlotte is clinging to the hope that, since Brady isn't Lily's usual type, maybe she took off her pants to get a comfortable night's sleep, and that nothing in the way of hanky panky occurred.

That evening at home, Charlotte tells Harry she's in absolute denial that Lily and Brady doinked...but then wonders what it would mean if they did, e.g. are they a couple? a one-time hookup? Harry makes it clear how tiny of a rat's ass he gives about Brady boning his daughter 'cause of how stressed out he is about the unresolved catering crisis: are the dumplings truly absolutely 100% kosher? Charlotte, in turn, ignores what seems like a really easy thing to get to the bottom of and ponders the cuteness of Lily's/Brady's red-haired kids if they ever got married and reproduced...but then cringes at the idea of Miranda becoming Lily's mother-in-law. Harry, meanwhile, continues to wring his hands about the meet and greet, specifically about whether or not he needs to provide a coat rack during spring months. [Mmm, probably..?]  

It's meet and greet time! The event, which is taking place at Charlotte's/Harry's apartment, is approaching full swing, and Herbert is miffed that Lisa is still a no-show. Miranda and Brady make their grand entrance...and after Brady lumbers off to the kitchen to see whassup with Lily, Charlotte and Miranda share with Carrie that their kids might have hooked up the other night. A befuddled Carrie stares into space for several seconds, then says, "That's like hearing that two of my stuffed animals are having sex" before spacily wandering off. 

After yet another round of vigorous sex, Nya checks out her Instagram feed...and abruptly gets sad when she sees a photo of (her ex) Andre and his new lady, who's noticeably pregnant. She abruptly tells her boy toy it's time for him to skedaddle, and he's like, "No problem" and promptly slips into his pants and heads out. 

Back at the meet and greet, Carrie hugs Anthony and tells him she's eager to meet his new poet friend - but Anthony brusquely says he's ending the budding romance 'cause he's pretty sure that the only reason the hot young stud is courting him is 'cause he wants a green card. 

Harry chastises Charlotte for inviting Mark Kasabian to the meet and greet and is leaping to the conclusion that he (Mark) has been asking her to work late 'cause he's attracted to her. Charlotte assures him it's the furthest thing from the truth, not least 'cause it's common knowledge that Mark has a thing for blondes. 

The camera then pans over to Mark, who's flippantly asking Carrie if the end of her marriage was as acrimonious as his was. She solemnly tells him she had a wonderful marriage to a wonderful man [despite calling Big "a big mistake" during the previous episode], and that the union came to an end far too soon. She then excuses herself and heads home. 

Over in the kitchen, Miranda and Charlotte are surreptitiously spying on Lily and Brady, who are fiddling with their phones and chuckling...and it's impossible for Miranda to discern if the two are chuckling at the same thing, or just coincidentally standing near one another as they independently peruse their social media feeds.

Lisa is once again awakened in her closet/office by Herbert when he phones to ask whassup with her not being at his meet and greet yet. She apologizes and admits that, oops, she fell asleep again - but promises to be there asap. 

Anthony tells Guiseppe he's seen all thirty-five seasons of 90 Day Fiancé and is assuming that, because of their embarrassingly vast age difference, he must be pursuing him so he can get a green card. Guiseppe explains that, in fact, he has dual citizenship 'cause his mother was born in Buffalo, and Anthony's all, "Wuh?" and visibly perks up at that unexpected revelation.

Miranda and Charlotte steel themselves to barge in on Brady and Lily, who they suspect of being inside one of the bedrooms. They fling open the door, but find no one inside...and after they exit the room, the camera pans over to Anthony and Guiseppe, who were hiding behind the door, both with their pants around their ankles. 

Lily and Brady return to the meet and greet with a pizza and explain to their moms that they went out to get some food 'cause they weren't digging the catering. Charlotte reacts to that by staring contemplatively into space, then concludes to Miranda that she definitely doesn't want to know if their kids did (or ever will do) the horizontal mambo.

Lisa arrives at the meet and greet and bickers with Herbert - until she shocks him with the news that she's been falling asleep all the time 'cause she's pregnant. [That seems like an implausibly age-defying trick - but OK, Lisa.]

The next day over beverages, Kathy implores Carrie to please not write about her sons the way she's done with the people in her life in her past books, despite all the interesting material they'd surely provide. Carrie says she's A-OK with keeping them out of her 'I couldn't help but wonder' schlock and lets Kathy know that she just bought a big place to accommodate Aidan and/or their boys whenever they're in New York. Kathy's all 'wow', but warns, "You can't hurt him again" 'cause it's not just Aidan this time around, but also their sons [and says this despite them none of them being small children anymore].

Carrie walks Aidan to her new mansion and tells him there's plenty of space for him and his kids...and breaks the happy news that she's officially ridding herself of her old apartment. She then shares that Kathy preemptively tut tutted her about ever hurting him again, and Aidan gets miffed at that and acknowledges that them hurting each other - with the kind of mundane, pissy type shit they'd make up from later - is inevitable. Carrie concurs and decrees that she really really wants to be with him, and he gives her a long smooch before rushing off to catch his flight back to Virginia. 

On the Upper East Side, Carrie runs into Lisette, who miserably informs her that she's about to lose her sublet. After she rushes off, Carrie calls Seema and confirms that, yep, she's soooooo ready to sell the apartment...and maybe, in the process, make Lisette's dream of continuing to live in this particular building come true.

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Recap: Carrie and Aidan are lounging together in a hotel room bed, canoodling and giggling about their rekindled coupling up. Aidan gets on the phone to order some breakfast...and when he's put on hold, he starts gabbling about his classic Virginia red brick farmhouse. Carrie looks intrigued and says she'd looooove to see it and meet his boys, and he gives up on room service and hangs up the phone so that the two can start going at it again. 

Later, at the apartment, Carrie Googles red brick farmhouses and looks charmed by their rustic appeal.

Over lunch with Miranda, Charlotte, and Seema, Carrie excitedly gabbles about wanting to see Aidan's red brick farmhouse and meet his three sons...but adds that she's still very traumatized by the ramshackle cabin he made her spend weekends at during Season 4 of Sex and the City. She chucklingly shows them her phone, explaining that she's been Googling red brick Virginia farmhouses and finds them charming, much like the one in Howard's End...then pretends that it'd be no big deal to commute from New York to Virginia in order to date Aidan. She giddily says that "we" (meaning her and Aidan) would love to take them out for dinner next time he's in town, and Seema looks visibly disinterested in that prospect and wryly informs Carrie that the red brick farmhouses she's been Googling are from the UK, not Virginia. Lol..

While ambling along the street, Miranda tells Carrie how excited she is to intern at Human Rights Watch, which she feels privileged to join after so many decades of working in corporate law. She then changes the subject and urges Carrie to take a breath and move a whole lot slower with Aidan - but Carrie's all 'nuh uh' and overshares that this time around she's had the most intense orgasms while sexing with him, and theorizes that, during their courtship during the Sex in the City days, she used to hold back a piece of herself 'cause of her obnoxious, never-ending fixation with Big. She then scrunches her face into an extra somber expression and says that lately she's been asking herself, "Was Big a big mistake?", and Miranda stares back at her looking stricken and mumbles that she doesn't quite know what to say about what seemed like a really dysfunctional rollercoaster of a relationship [during which Carrie always looked waaaaaaay more into Big than he ever was into her] that somehow led to marriage.

Over on Park Avenue, Charlotte summons her family to formally announce that she's decided to return to the workforce and take on a full-time job at the Kasabian Gallery. As Rock and Lily grin happily at the prospect of their helicopter mom finally having a life of her own, Charlotte warns that she'll no longer be home when they're done school and that she's likely going to miss dinner from time to time - but the two continue to look unfazed and somehow refrain from high-fiving each other. Charlotte turns her attention to Harry and says that he's going to have to pick up the slack [since it really seems as though he's unemployed these days], and he just shrugs and says he's totes A-OK with that. After the kids rush off to do their homework, Charlotte stares wistfully at her dog and ask him if he'll miss her...but he just stares back at her with a vacant disinterest in her life decisions.

Miranda arrives at Human Rights Watch and meets fellow grunts Serena and Sloane. Sloane offers her a garlic chocolate chip cookie (gross) and warns that she's prolly in for some really low level work, but Miranda assures them she's more than happy to pay her dues. A few seconds later, the very pregnant boss (Raina) emerges from her office and announces that she's off to a meeting with U.S. Mission in an hour and would like Miranda to accompany her and take notes. She assigns Serena and Sloane more low level grunt work, and the two glare at Miranda while she stares back at them in helpless sheepishness.

Carrie drops by the vet clinic to make a proposal to Che: allow her and Aidan to rent their Airbnb apartment in exchange for Che staying at her (Carrie's) vacant apartment whenever Aidan's in town. Che likes the sound of that new living arrangement, but wonders aloud why she and Aidan don't just stay at her apartment...but Carrie declines to explain that nonsensical conundrum and assures them that Aidan needing to stay far away from her place ['cause he's a dramatic baby] is a necessity. 

Anthony is at Hot Fellas, barking at a customer (Lorraine) to stop requesting bread deliveries from Guiseppe, just so she can ogle his freakishly large penis. A few seconds later, Guiseppe arrives for his shift, chides Anthony for punching the dough so hard, and rubs up against him as he demonstrates how to "love the bread". As Anthony gets visibly hot and bothered, Guiseppe mentions that he told Lorraine he's gay, which apparently wasn't a lie. Anthony reacts by firing him...but when Guiseppe threatens to talk to a lawyer, he back pedals and says he's being put on probation. Guiseppe casually says he'll see him tomorrow, and urges him in the meantime to take a chill pill.
​
Lisa tags along with Charlotte to a high end clothing boutique so that Charlotte can buy a new outfit for her first day of work. She immediately selects a black dress with a pink collar, sleeve trim, and belt...but when she tries it on, she's dismayed that the belt keeps riding up due to an extra few ounces of belly fat. Lisa wankingly tells her she looks fantastic and suggests losing the belt, but a crestfallen Charlotte argues that the belt is an integral part of the outfit. The salesclerk stares thoughtfully at Charlotte, then brings her a couple of black, shapeless blazers to cover her [perfectly fine] midriff - but Charlotte bitchily retorts that she's buying the black/pink dress, mostly out of spite, and snarkishly orders her to take the "moo moos" back to the rack. When the salesclerk asks Lisa 'the fuck did I do?', Lisa covertly tells her that her only crime is being 25, thin and youthfully gorgeous. 

Back at the penthouse, Charlotte stares longingly at photos of herself during her younger years and pins one of them to her new outfit to further torture herself about being older [and only slightly heavier]. 

Carrie and Aidan arrive at Che's building, pretend to be Che's cousins when they run into a disinterested resident ('cause apparently whoever manages the building isn't keen on the idea of turning units into Airbnbs), and let themselves into the apartment. As they unpack their takeout food, Aidan remarks on how there's nothing in the way of cutlery and dish ware in the kitchen...and the two agree that they're going to have to rush over to a kitchen/home store asap.

Seema's parter (Elliot) pops into her office to inform her that he's pawning off a client on her: a hotshot director of Marvel movies. A few seconds later, the handsome Ravi Gordi saunters in and does his best to persuade a skeptical looking Seema to find him a high-end rental for nine months. He sweetens the deal by telling her has oodles of cash to spend, which will translate to a ridiculously high commission for a minimal amount of work. 

Back at Human Rights Watch, Serena and Sloane are complaining to each other about how Miranda was given a non-grunt work assignment on her first day - just as Miranda enters the lunchroom to eat her salad. Serena and Sloane suddenly start texting each other...and when Miranda calls them out on how it feels as though they're talking about her, they weakly deny it. Raina enters the room, thanks Miranda for her excellent note-taking earlier, and asks her to please send her wonderful notes directly to the executive director. Serena and Sloane respond to that compliment by texting their displeasure like the unprofessional, passive-aggressive idiots they're fast proving themselves to be. 

Charlotte puts on her new dress, studies her reflection in the mirror and dismayingly tells Harry it's too tight, and that the pink belt keeps riding up on her 'cause of too much belly fat. Harry assures her she looks great [she does] and casually suggests losing the belt, but she argues that what she really needs to do is lose the belly fat. She then stares at the years old photo of herself and continues to look disheartened. 

Back at Che's Airbnb building, Carrie and Aidan run into the same resident and lay it on thick about how, yep, they are indeed Che's cousins who have returned for yet another visit. The resident stares back at them with an inscrutable expression, though I'm translating it to mean that, in no way, is he buying their story. 
 
Che is primping in Carrie's apartment when they get a call from the building manager about their "visiting cousins"...and she's all 'my what..?', but then gets a clue and hastily pretends as though the Airbnb jig isn't totally up yet. They head over to the building, inform Carrie and Aidan that the management is concerned about their frequent "visits", then marvel about all the new dish ware in the kitchen. When Carrie and Aidan lovingly banter about their recent trip to the kitchen/home store, Che stares at them thoughtfully and asks why their relationship didn't work out all those years ago. Carrie puts her most serious face on and admits to having made a mistake, then turns to Aidan for a comfort hug.

Charlotte is [having a disengaged conversation] on the phone with Anthony, complaining about menopause-related weight gain...and Anthony replies by grumbling about the temptation that is a gay and hot Guiseppe. Charlotte worries aloud about having to work with a team of much younger co-workers at the gallery, and when Anthony hears the doorbell, he tells her it's his food delivery and abruptly ends the call.

Carrie is at the hair salon getting a shampoo when Seema (who, non-coincidentally, is in the hair washing station beside her) realizes who she's sitting beside and hastily gets up to sneak outside. Carrie witnesses her near escape and asks whaddup with her not returning any of her calls/texts about dinner with Aidan...before the two go outside so that Seema can enjoy a cigarette in the rain. Seema comes right out and tells her she doesn't like the thought of being a third wheel, is annoyed that Carrie is already a "we" as it pertains to her and Aidan, and is generally so irked by Carrie having had two great loves in her life while she's had none. She tells Carrie she went ahead and bailed on their Hamptons rental this summer, and a distraught Carrie's all, "Wha-a-a?" and says she's very worried about the state of their friendship...so Seema assures her they'll eventually be fine, but that right now she needs space.

Charlotte squeezes herself into several layers of Spanx before putting on her new black/pink dress. She waddles into the kitchen to say hey to her children, and they gush about how fantastic she looks.  

Anthony fields another call from Lorraine and tells her that Guiseppe no longer works at Hot Fellas - just as Guiseppe saunters into the kitchen to get clarification on Anthony's 'it's not you, it's me' text. Anthony nonsensically tells him that he would only be able to work with him if he were straight, and that he doesn't want to become "a middle-aged Lorraine". Guiseppe promptly announces, "I quit", to which a tortured Anthony moans, "I'm fuuuuuucked." Mmm hmm.

Charlotte arrives at the Kasabian Gallery, looks worriedly at her reflection in the window, and finally decides 'ah fuck it' and removes the offending pink belt. She then makes a sweeping entrance, is greeted by two of the gallery's young-uns (Annastasia and Kai) before being formally welcomed by an older, heavier co-worker (Lela). In the next scene, she's in the ladies room, where she removes her Spanx and tosses most of it in the trash can, and happily goes about her first day of work. 

As Miranda pores over some paperwork at Human Rights Watch, she asks Serena about the migration stats she (unwittingly?) omitted, and Sloane snarkishly sneers about what a "perfect" intern she is. Miranda needlessly clarifies that she's "a sexually confused alcoholic who's in the midst of a divorce", and a shocked Serena and Sloane react with a, "Whoa Nellie" before they head out for the day. Raina wanders over and reminds Miranda that she's not supposed to work past 6pm 'cause the organization has a strict overtime policy, then breaks the happy news that she'd like her to temporarily take over her job while she's on maternity leave. When Miranda says she feels unworthy, given that Serena and Sloane have been around far longer, Raina reminds her that, unlike those Gen Z slackers, she's an accomplished lawyer with 30 years of experience under her belt...and rightly emphasizes that she doesn't need to feel any guilt about taking on the role of boss.

Carrie, Aidan, Charlotte, and Miranda are out for dinner and having a delightful time when Seema unexpectedly sweeps in and joins them. Carrie beams happily as Aidan gets an extra chair, prompting Seema to remark on what a well-mannered lad he is. 

Later, Carrie pulls her copy of Howard's End from her bookshelf, then heads off with her suitcase for a trip to Virginia, calling the trip hers and Aidan's new beginning.

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Recap: Carrie logs onto her computer and is pleased to see that Aidan has replied to her 'hey stranger' email message. 

Later, while dining out, Carrie tells Charlotte and Miranda about Aidan's email reply, and to report that he's coming to New York for a meeting and invited her to dinner on Thursday night, which coincidentally (or not..?) is Valentine's Day. Charlotte gushes about what she assumes is a romantic gesture, then turns to Miranda to ask her if she has a new lady on the horizon. Miranda tut tuts her for assuming that she's limiting herself to ladies, then explains that she only entered lesbian territory 'cause of how drawn she was to the sexual magnetism that was Che. Charlotte's like, "OK, whatevs" and breezily explains that she really just wants her friend to find love again. 

Nya is Zooming with two gal pals, who gabble about getting together for cocktails so that she (Nya) isn't alone on Valentine's Day. Nya nixes those plans and assures them she's totes fine with being alone on the love holiday 'cause she's planning to make a chocolate soufflé to celebrate a self-indulgent "me-evening". 

Anthony's Hot Fellas employees strenuously object to being forced to wear their skimpy uniforms in winter, but Anthony makes clear how tiny of a rat's ass he gives about them being able to dress in weather-appropriate clothing. He then gets a call from Drew Barrymore, who gushes about the bread gift basket she just received from Hot Fellas and invites him (+ the hot fella who delivered the basket) to appear on her talk show. After the call, the delivery hot fella, for some God-only-knows-why reason, pulls out a syringe and injects himself with an infusion of growth hormones. He explains to a befuddled Anthony that he's trying to muscular-ize his calves, so then Anthony snappishly informs him that he runs a clean business and won't tolerate anyone who injects themselves with growth hormones...which results in the rest of the overly muscular hot fellas being all, "Er...OK, dude" and promptly walking off the job. Womp womp!

Over in the schoolyard, Rock is being cheered by their classmates as they all stare up at the Ralph Lauren ad on a nearby billboard. A few yards away, Charlotte giddily tells Lisa that, as implausible as it may sound, all of the top New York modelling agencies are interested in signing Rock, and that their Instagram account already has 3,000 followers (aka double the number than that of her dog, Mr. Burton, despite her best efforts to needlessly make the poor pooch a social media canine sensation). 

As Charlotte pulls out her phone to coo over her Mr. Burton photos, Lisa happens to glance across the courtyard and notices that her son (Herbert Jr.) is going at it with his girlfriend (Baxter), whose hand is sliding dangerously close to his crotch. She huffily storms over to chide the horny teens by reminding them that they're in a public space in full view of other children.

Miranda is researching dating websites when she gets an incoming call from Che and chooses to not answer. 

While ambling around Manhattan, Che asks Carrie if Miranda is ghosting them, and Carrie confirms that she mostly like is, given her history of never wanting to keep in touch with exes. Che explains that the only reason they even care about the ghosting is 'cause Miranda left some stuff at the apartment, which she needs to pick asap 'cause it's being [illegally] turned into an Airbnb so that they can generate some much-needed revenue. A few seconds later, Che spots a lost puppy wandering the streets and brings it to a nearby vet clinic (where apparently they used to work). The owner, Judy, agrees to take the pup and offers Che their old full-time job back, with benefits.

While browsing through a bookstore, Miranda tells Nya she has no idea what type of dating sites she should be signing up with: 'woman seeking man' or 'woman seeking woman'. As Nya feigns interest in the plight, Miranda hears a Pride and Prejudice reading going on in the next room, discreetly steps inside, and looks transfixed by the speaker: a well-known audiobook recorder by the name of Amelia Carsey. After the reading, Miranda approaches Amelia and flirtily gushes about her audio recording abilities, and a visibly smitten Amelia says she finds her alluring and that she noticed her the minute she entered the reading room.

Miranda promptly calls Carrie to report her flirty encounter with Amelia Carsey, adding that they have a date for Valentine's Day evening...which she hopes will lead to a night of great sex.

​Charlotte interrupts Harry's afternoon nap [which makes me wonder if he's no longer employed?] to bark at him to book a Valentine's dinner reservation. Harry grumbles about how restaurants are always gouging people who dine out on Valentine's Day, citing last year's $500 dinner bill, which...holy fucking shit. Charlotte explains that Lily needs them outa the house 'cause she's having a girls night in with the school's coolest kids...and a weary looking Harry scours the Internet for a restaurant still accepting reservations at this late date and is eventually able to get one for 5:30pm.

Herbert informs Lisa that he spent a ton of cash on a reservation for the two of them at Monkey Bar...and as Lisa chews on that pleasant nugget, Herbert Jr. enters their room to announce that Baxter's parents booked them a fancy hotel suite for Valentine's Day. Lisa's all 'nuh uh' and firmly says it's not happening...and when Herbert Jr. chides her for embarrassing him at school the other day, Lisa reminds him that Baxter's hand was down his pants, clearly about to explore his nether regions. Herbert suggests to his son that he and Baxter hang out in the apartment while they're out for dinner...and once Herbert Jr. is out of hearing range, Lisa says she doesn't like the idea, can't stand how grab-handsy Baxter always is, and is extremely worried that the teens are going to have sex atop their bed.

Anthony calls Charlotte to tell her that all of his employees have walked off the job...and instead of having an ounce of self-reflection 'bout that, he's desperate to find a hot fella who'd be willing to make an appearance with him on The Drew Barrymore Show. Charlotte, who just happens to be shopping at a greeting card store, spots a handsome young man (Giuseppe) sitting at a table, offering love poems for a dollar. She covertly takes a photo of him and sends it to Anthony, who instantly loves the cut of the sexy man's jib.

Charlotte approaches Guiseppe and offers to pay him $300 to perform a service. Guiseppe sighs disapprovingly and says, in an adorably thick Italian accent, that he gets these types of propositions from women all the time...so Charlotte hastily assures him that this service is, in no way, related to anything resembling prostitution.

Anthony is backstage at The Drew Barrymore Show, anxiously awaiting his segment when Guiseppe exits the dressing room wearing the tight onesie, which serves to showcase his extraordinarily large pecker. 

During the on-air segment, Drew is chatting with Anthony when Guiseppe is summoned onstage carrying a basket of bread. Drew gets visibly flustered as she and Anthony make obligatory double entendres about Guiseppe's "big basket". After the segment mercifully ends, Anthony excitedly informs Guiseppe that the Hot Fellas Instagram account is "blowing up" 'cause of how childishly giddy everyone is about his massive penis - but an unimpressed Guiseppe hands Anthony the onesie and says ciao. Anthony begs him to join his [currently unstaffed] bread company for at least a little while, so Guiseppe agrees to stay on for one week.

Carrie and Seema arrive at a spa, which - to Seema's great annoyance - is only offering couples' massages 'cause of it being Valentine's Day. The reception clerk tells the two that the spa is fully booked and suggests they simply pretend to be a couple while being massaged in the same room - but Seema ignores that sensible advice and chastises the spa for refusing to accommodating non-couples, then shrieks, "I'm taking this to Yelp!" as she and Carrie huffily exit.

Charlotte and Rock have been in the waiting room of a (non-Manhattan based) modelling agency for forty minutes when Charlotte finally snaps and haughtily tells the check-in person that Rock needs to be seen now. When the check-in person tells her they're going to have to wait until the people ahead of them in line have been seen, Charlotte bitchily retorts that Rock has appointments at prestigious modelling agencies based in Manhattan, then storms out with a mortified Rock in tow.

After returning home, Rock tells Charlotte they don't want to model anymore 'cause 1) it's not longer fun, and 2) she (Charlotte) was "kinda gross today". They adds that they couldn't give the tiniest rat's ass about the 3,000 Instagram followers that have been amassed after the Ralph Lauren ad, and suggest that Charlotte devote her considerable leisure time to her other client: Mr. Burton the dog.

Charlotte yells at Lily (who's entertaining her gal pals in the kitchen) to turn down the loud Taylor Swift song she's blaring. Lily hastily closes the kitchen doors and grumbles at her mother for ruining the party vibe, then reminds her that she had promised to not be home around this time. Charlotte presents her with a heart-shaped Valentine's Day cake she just bought - but Lily brattily says that she and her friends don't want or need it, not least 'cause one of them brought over scores of brownies. Charlotte eyes the delicious looking treats and grabs one to snack on, then shriekingly reminds Harry about their dinner reservation.
 
While at the restaurant, Charlotte angrily rails to Harry about how abruptly Rock put the brakes on modelling, then complains about the rude manner in which Lily rejected her heart cake in favor of her friend's brownies. Harry urges her calm the fuck down before she gives herself a heart attack...and Charlotte suddenly looks woozy, says her face is tingling, and leaps to the conclusion that she's having a stroke. A concerned Harry ushers her towards the exit as he yells at the hostess to call 911...and as the paramedics load her into the ambulance, she and Harry screech about how deeply they love each other. 

Lisa, who's wearing some serious boob-baring cleavage, carefully arranges the decorative pillows atop her/Herbert's bed so that she'll be able to detect whether or not her son and his girlfriend did the nasty in their bedroom.

Nya is making her chocolate soufflé when Miranda emerges from her room all gussied up in a fancy purple off-the-shoulder dress to go to Amelia's place for dinner.

Carrie arrives at [what she assumes is] the agreed upon restaurant to meet up with Aidan. She's disappointed when he's not there and assumes he's running late. 

The ER doctor informs Charlotte that she didn't have a stroke, and that her tests indicate that she has THC in her bloodstream. Charlotte chews on that for a few seconds, then tells Harry she ate what must have been a pot brownie, courtesy of one of Lily's friends. She adds that while she was being rushed to the hospital, her entire life flashed before her eyes...and she wasn't happy about much of what the writers have been making her do thus far in this superfluous reboot. She says she's decided to take the gallery job that Mark Kasabian had previously offered her, and Harry says he's A-OK with that.

Carrie is starting to look visibly upset as she continues to wait for Aidan, and charges her dying phone battery with the waiter's charger. 

Nya is at home, enjoying her chocolate soufflé with lit candles all around her.

Miranda arrives at Amelia's apartment, which turns out to be an untidy dump. After a hello smooch, Amelia accidentally steps in her cat's poo, then says she needs to dash to the laundry room to put her bed sheets in the dryer. She invites Miranda to choose whatever Grubhub type food she wants for dinner, asks her if she happens to have any quarters for the dryer, then rushes out. A deflated Miranda tiptoes around the cramped mess of an apartment before attempting to use the bathroom, but then quickly shuts the door when a very hostile cat angrily hisses at her. 

After returning home, Lisa examines the decorative pillows atop her bed and deduces that her son and Baxter prolly didn't have sex in her room. She does, however, find the youngsters inside her ample walk-in closet, where Baxter is about to take a selfie holding one of her (Lisa's) designer purses. Lisa grabs it from her, angrily reminds her it's her property, and that taking a selfie with any of her stuff is most definitely not OK. After she tells Baxter to kindly get the hell out, Herbert Jr. appeals to his father for mercy, but Herbert makes it clear that he's on his own, then wonders aloud if he lost his damn mind, infiltrating the sacred space that is his mother's closet.

Carrie calls Miranda to ask her if she thinks Aidan would purposely stand her up, and Miranda says she seriously doubts that...then complains that Amelia temporarily abandoned her to do laundry. When Carrie asks her if she really has to stay and endure this horrible date, Miranda suddenly realizes she doesn't, and that she'd better hustle and exit the apartment before Amelia returns. A few seconds later, Carrie gets a 'where are you?' text from Aidan...and it turns out she'd been waiting in the wrong restaurant, which confusingly is next door to the correct one. When she steps outside, she's giddy with delight at what I found to be a comically cringy sight of Aidan with his arms outstretched. After hugging happily and making their way inside the restaurant, Carrie remarks on how unchanged he looks from when they were on Sex and the City together [which is true enough], he clucks sympathetically about Big's Peloton demise, and the two flirtily share that neither is currently dating anyone. 

The two take a cab to Carrie's apartment, which Aidan suddenly decides he can never step foot in again 'cause of all the baggage he somehow hasn't been able to let go of even after all these years. Carrie doesn't push it, acknowledges that time doesn't heal all wounds, and admits that perhaps their sudden rehookup may have been too easy. Aidan starts to saunter off, but then turns around and says, "Hey, fuck it. This is New York. They have hotels, right?" and Carrie beams in response and voice-overs, "And just like that...Aidan and I were back on the same page."

​Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

Recap: Carrie is in her apartment preparing for a Zoom call by carefully arranging her laptop atop a pile of books and adjusting her lighting. A few seconds later, the Zoom caller (a pretty, young blogger) appears on her screen and asks her what her latest book, Love and Lost, is actually about...and has to admit that she has no clue 'cause she had no time to read it. A peeved Carrie tells her that it's the sad tale of her husband's death, and the blogger looks visibly disinterested in the morose subject matter and abruptly changes the topic by asking Carrie what her favourite lipstick shade is these days...and Carrie just stares back at her perplexedly as her computer slides off the pile of books and fatally crashes to the floor. 

Miranda wakes up in a panic, bursts out of Nya's spare room and asks her what time it is...and Nya tells her it's 10am and that it's Sunday. Miranda pants in relief, remarks on how screwy her bearings have gotten ever since "becoming a nomad", and pours herself a cup of coffee. Nya redirects her attention back to her divorce paperwork and explains to an intrigued Miranda that it's easy enough for her to file for divorce without a lawyer 'cause she and Andre have a no fault divorce...and Miranda self-piteously says it must be nice to have a no fault divorce, given that hers is an "all my fault divorce".

Lisa, along with her family, are gathered on the bed of the primary bedroom, reading the Sunday paper when she spots the ad from Rock's Ralph Lauren photoshoot. She immediately gets on the phone with Charlotte, who happily tells her that Anthony just brought over ten copies of the paper, and that she's been getting calls all morning. Charlotte gushes about how beautiful (in a non specific gender way) Rock is, and Anthony bleats, "Rock star! Rock's a rock star!" Rock grumbles that they don't actually like being the good kid and sashays off, while (back at Lisa's) Gabrielle chirps, "I'm a model too!" as she jumps up and down atop the bed and accidentally puts her full weight on Herbert's crotch. As Herbert cries out in pain, Lisa abruptly ends the call with Charlotte and clears the bedroom so that her husband can privately recover from his penis injury.

Lily asks Charlotte if she remembered to contact her person at Nobu to make a lunch reservation for her and Blake, and Charlotte says that with all of the hoopla surrounding Rock's modelling shoot, she simply forgot. When she says she'll do it in the next minute, Lily complains that it's already 11am and so it's unlikely she'll be able to get her a 1pm reservation...to which Anthony snappishly advises, "Boo hoo. You're seventeen years old. Go to Shake Sack and call it a day." Lily counter snaps, "I can't lose my virginity after a lunch at Shake Shack" ... and when Charlotte, Harry, and Anthony stare back at her in horrified bewilderment, she blandly confirms, "I'm ready to lose my virginity", then grumbles about how the failed Nobu reservation has ruined her loss-of-maidenhood plans. After she storms off, a totally befuddled Harry asks why, in the name of all that his holy, their daughter would publicly announce her sex plans in a way that no living teenager would ever do, so Charlotte wonders aloud if maybe Lily blurted it out as a means of attention seeking...and somehow refrains from reminding everyone that this was the girl who, just last season, was utterly confounded by the notion of a tampon.

Herbert tells Lisa he has a Wall Street campaign event on Wednesday - at the very same time Lisa is scheduled to do a Q&A about her film at MoMA. Herbert suggests she do her best to attend both events, to which Lisa sassily counters that he do his best to attend both events...and he chews on that for a moment before shutting his trap and making no more career-related suggestions that could possibly be construed as misogynistic.

Charlotte interrupts Lily's depressing keyboard playing to further dive into her cherry popping plans and gush about how open and sex positive they can be in this day and age. Lily informs her mom that today isn't the day after all...and despite her shocking announcement [to her parents + Anthony] a few minutes earlier, she has no desire to discuss sex. Charlotte reminds her to exercise responsibility by using a condom, and also focus on her pleasure as much as Blake's - and Lily reacts by complaining, "You've gone from sex positive to sex annoying."
​
Carrie brings Seema along to an Apple Store to replace the Macbook that had fallen to its death during her earlier Zoom call. Seema gently broaches the subject of summering in the Hamptons and asks Carrie if she'd be into the idea of their fabulous selves renting a fabulous house together...and Carrie jokingly replies that she only wishes the proposal was taking place in a more romantic setting before committing, "Yes! Yes, Seema. I will spend the summer with you."

Miranda is in bed trying to cuddle Che, who's not at all into it 'cause they have a bunch of video cameos to record, presumably to make ends meet now that their TV show has been cancelled. When Miranda chuckles at the cartoonishly upbeat tone of their voice - versus the mopishness that she gets 24/7 - Che hotly retorts, "I'm not performing for you!" Miranda gets out of the bed, throws her clothes on, and announces she's going elsewhere to get a good night's sleep...then urges Che to at least try to step foot outside of the apartment sometime this week.

Carrie meets with her publisher (Amanda) to report on the disastrous Zoom call, and discuss the upcoming Widow Con event at which she's been scheduled to deliver the keynote address. A few seconds later, the event coordinator arrives, and she's an extremely perky woman named Karen Moore who now goes by Kerry 'cause "it's not a great time for white women named Karen". Carrie and Kerry tell Amanda they know each other from the early 90s, when they were set up by their literary agents as writing partners...and Kerry goes on to bitterly complain that they were tasked with writing a romcom - but the entire project when to shit when Carrie didn't bother showing up for the all-important pitch meeting. After Amanda wisely exits the office to get herself a coffee, Kerry grumbles about how the movie 27 Dresses was a total ripoff of their script and once again chides Carrie for skipping the pivotal meeting that could have launched their scriptwriting careers. She then backpedals and tells Carrie she got her a prime speaking slot during Widow Con, then jokingly (though not really) warns, "Don't you flake out on me this time!" Carrie apologizes for her past transgression (of which she has no memory), points out that she never fancied herself a movie writer, and promises to not abandon her at Widow Con. 

Che is sacked out on the couch with snacks strewn about when Carrie calls to beg them to please please please accompany her to Widow Con and provide some much needed moral support. She explains that she gets extremely nervous whenever she has to read aloud to a big group of people [does she, though?], then wanks Che for always being so fearless. Che mumbles that they're not feeling especially fearless these days, but will happily grant her this favor. They snidely add, "My mommy said I have to leave the house at some point this week", and Carrie's all, "Say wuh?" at the bitterness of their tone. 

During a small dinner party at Nya's apartment, Nya gets a friendly text from Andre and remarks (to Charlotte, Miranda, and Carrie) that the two of them are doing their best to have an amicable divorce. Charlotte says she never kept in touch with Trey, not least 'cause he had zero desire to talk to her after giving him the dumperoo, and Miranda says that she and Steve aren't even talking about moving ahead with a divorce. Carrie decides that this is the perfect opportunity to tell her about her private conversation with Steve during Season 1's 'No Strings Attached' episode, when the dumb sap was so adamant about never ever taking his wedding ring off. Carrie urges Miranda to press Steve about a divorce, 'cause it's clear that he's never going to move on unless she lights a fire under his ass. Carrie then changes the subject to Kerry Moore, with whom she surprisingly has more baggage than she does with Aidan, who's now divorced and living in Virginia after selling his furniture company.

After the dinner party, Carrie goes home and starts to write Aidan an email, but then leaves it on the screen without clicking send.

The next day, Seema is over at Carrie's apartment to pretend to research rental homes in the Hamptons. When she accidentally stumbles onto Carrie's unsent Dear Aidan email, Carrie explains that it's an email to her ex-boyfriend...and Seema's all, "I really don't give a shit" and quickly resumes her search for Hamptons properties. She finds a large two story home with a lovely pool and shyly asks, "Do you take this house?", and Carrie nods and solemnly says, "I do." Seema looks momentarily relieved, but then confesses that she was just being polite, given that she already signed the rental agreement 'cause these kinds of summer houses always get snapped up so quick.

Che calls Carrie to draw her attention to the bomb cyclone type snowstorm that's raging outside and wonders aloud if the widows will be able to show up for Widow Con. Carrie says they likely will, given that they've been in New York for the last several days - plus, she absolutely cannot cancel her keynote address 'cause Kerry Moore will never let her live it down. She once again begs Che to come 'cause she somehow neeeeeeds them there in order to deliver a great reading for the widows, and Che reluctantly says they'll meet her there at 1pm.

Lily is all bundled up and ready to head over to Blake's place...and enters the kitchen to announce that since Blake's parents got stuck in Connecticut "today's the day". Charlotte steps away from the cocoa she's making in order to process the impending milestone and stare wistfully at Lily, who just kind of shrugs and shuffles off towards the door. When Harry ambles into the room, Charlotte tells him that Lily's off to experience her first boning...and Harry contorts his face into a pained expression before loudly asking if the cocoa is ready yet. 

Lisa grumbles to Herbert that her car service was cancelled due to the bomb cyclone - but still insists on braving the blizzard in order to get herself to MoMA. Herbert gives her a supportive canoodle and offers to drop her off with his car service on his way to the Wall Street event - but for whatever reason, Lisa firmly declines and declares that she'll get to MoMA on her own steam. Herbert fawningly replies, "OK, do you", and Lisa stares at herself in the mirror and agrees that, yep, she's definitely going to do her. She then removes her wig...and in the next scene is seen wearing a heavy coat and struggling through the snow.

Charlotte is watching Edward Scissorhands with Harry and Rock when Lily calls to report that somehow neither she nor Blake had the foresight to supply themselves with condoms for their big day...and, to add insult to injury, Blake is too chickenshit to go to the nearest pharmacy 'cause the store clerk knows his mom and might tattle about his birth control purchase. Lily asks Charlotte to bring her some condoms...and when Charlotte says she has zero desire to brave the blizzard for an errand of that ilk, Lily shrugs unconcernedly while stupidly sharing, "Blake Googled how to pull out...we can just try that." Charlotte immediately bundles herself up to head over to the nearest pharmacy, where she begs the clerk to re-open the store 'cause her daughter is in desperate need of condoms. When the clerk's all, "I don't care, get lost", she calls Carrie, who's also wading through the blizzard decked out in what looks like a giant comforter, to ask her if she happens to have a supply of condoms. Carrie asks her why in blazes she'd think she had a condom supply...so Charlotte explains that she's trying to scare up a package of condoms for her dumbass daughter before she risks an unwanted pregnancy and/or STDs, and Carrie wishes her good luck with that, dismissively adding, "And whatever happens, let it go."

Lisa arrives at MoMA and heads straight to the ladies room to put on her wig. When she sees an older woman watching her with a look of curiosity, she defiantly says, "We're not going to let a little snow stop us, are we?"

Carrie safely arrives at Widow Con and meets up with Che, who's checking out the sex toys available for sale in one of the vendor booths. The two then enter the large ballroom, where the current speaker is unleashing a string of wisecracks about her husband's untimely death. Kerry Moore spots Carrie, rushes over, and informs her that the wisecracker is the opening act for her keynote address. Carrie looks alarmed by that and ruefully tells Che that her book offers zero comedy relief...then, a few seconds later,  looks visibly nervous when Kerry introduces her as the "always hilarious" Carrie Bradshaw.

Over at MoMA, Lisa is answering questions (from a very tiny audience) about her documentary, highlighting the various women she interviewed who have successfully broken down barriers. Herbert arrives just as she fondly mentions her family...and she shoots him a happy smile as she expresses hope that her film will inspire black women to keep at it.

Charlotte arrives at Blake's apartment building to hand deliver a box of condoms. Lily gives her a grateful hug, but then rushes back inside, leaving her mother standing in the cold and wistfully staring up at the high-rise.

Carrie reads to the widows about her grief, and how she ultimately grew from it and eventually outgrew the immature skank she used to be throughout six seasons of Sex and the City. Che looks deeply moved by her words...and after Carrie wraps up the reading, the previous wisecracking speaker thanks her for writing such a touching book, and that it gave her the kind of cry she needed.

Che tells Carrie she totally rocked it, and that her reading gave them some much needed perspective about their own life. They add that the failure of the TV pilot bruised their ego, but that it's clear they need to move on. The two hug, and then Carrie rushes off to sell some copies of her sad book to the widows.

Miranda is in the Hobbes/Brady townhouse, sitting in the living room folding laundry, when Steve returns home. She asks him how the apartment search is going, and he comes right out and admits that he has no intention of moving out. Miranda tells him she can't keep living like this, going from apartment to apartment, and he snappishly retorts, "This is my house!" and angrily points out that, despite him not making mortgage payments (which I found kinda surprising), he's the one who fixed up the kitchen, refinished the floors, and built the fireplace. He goes on to rail about how she never wanted Brooklyn, him, or even Brady...then yells at her to get the fuck outa their lives. Ouch. Miranda is so overwhelmed by his open hatred that she starts sobbing uncontrollably, so he hastily apologizes for his outburst and begs her to not leave the house in her current emotional state. Later, the two quietly spoon together atop the bed, and Miranda says she really really hates that she hurt him so much. She adds that she wishes there was something she could do to help them move past this, then abruptly stops talking when she finds an open condom wrapper under the sheets. She sharply asks him if he's been fucking someone in their bed, then calls him out for playing the victim when clearly he's been bedding another woman. Steve clarifies that he never claimed victimhood...and somehow refrains from pointing out that, since she made the choice to walk out on their marriage, he can have sex with whoever the hell he wants. Miranda unilaterally decides that he's moved on enough for her to be comfortable divorcing, then gets up from the bed, puts her coat on, and brusquely announces that she'll be writing up the divorce papers asap.

Miranda arrives at Che's, grumbling about "the shit show" she just endured with Steve, and that they should have finalized their marital split soooo much sooner. Che's like, "Uh, speaking of splitting soon.." and tells Miranda that it's unlikely their toxic relationship is ever going to get any better. Miranda looks stricken for a few seconds, but then agrees to that obvious reality...and in the next scene, the two enjoy one last spooning atop the bed.

Carrie is sitting in front of her computer, voice-overing that "some relationships are meant to stay in the past...and some aren't". With that said, she clicks send on the Dear Aiden email before staring contemplatively out the window.

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Recap: When Miranda's alarm goes off at 5am, she apologizes to Che and explains that she has to sneak home and wake Brady at a decent hour - otherwise he'll sleep all day...and says this as if her son isn't an adult man who should be more than capable of getting himself out of bed. She then bumps into a chair and yelps in pain, prompting a sleepy Che to groan in annoyance.  

​A few hours later, Miranda is carving a pumpkin when Brady stumbles into the kitchen. She offers him a plate of pancakes, but he grumbles that it isn't necessary for her to keep up the facade of leaving Che's place at dawn in order to rush home to cook him breakfast. Miranda insists that she looooves doing it, then tells him she'd like them to join forces and decorate the stoop for Halloween. 

Later, Carrie and Miranda are strolling through Central Park en route to Charlotte's Halloween fundraiser. Miranda is not in costume, while Carrie claims that her (not uncharacteristically strange) outfit is a Helen Gurley Brown costume. As soon as they arrive at the venue, Charlotte chides them both for not coming in costume...and when she's called out on the very same thing, she claims that she's dressed up as Elizabeth Jennings from The Americans. As proof, she motions at Harry, who saunters over in a Phillip Jennings wig and jacket/jeans ensemble...which I have to admit kinda does resemble the incognito disguises of the fictional Russian spy. Charlotte explains to her friends that they're a husband and wife costume team.

Later, Nya (who came dressed as a sexy cat), complains about there being no hot black men at the fundraiser. Seema offers to take her to a high end hotel bar, which is apparently a goldmine for picking up single, rich men...and Carrie perks up at that and says she too would like to come. Herbert, meanwhile, arrives at the party in a tasteful suit and looks at his wife with dismay as she dirty dances with Anthony in her skimpy, nipple baring Frankenstein's Bride costume. When she asks him whaddup with him not wearing the George Washington costume she bought him, he says that as a candidate for City Comptroller, he didn't want to risk stepping out in public looking undignified.

Anthony hits on a good looking man he assumes is gay 'cause of the finely sculpted abs he's baring...and is shocked and embarrassed when the straight man's wife ambles over.

At the Wexley penthouse later that evening, Herbert emerges from the en suite bathroom wearing just the above-the-waist part of his George Washington costume. Lisa coos about how hot she finds him right now...and he mounts her before the two start getting it on. 

Charlotte and Harry are at home watching The Americans when Rock interrupts and announces that a modelling scout approached them in the skate park and wanted to know if they've ever considered modelling. Rock hands the business card to Charlotte, who squeals excitedly when she sees the Ralph Lauren logo. Rock joins in with the excited squealing and gushes about how they really really want to do the modelling gig - which seems wildly out of character for Rock - while Harry mumbles that the business card is probably fake and part of a larger scam. Charlotte points out that the business card is embossed, then chides Harry for letting his binge-watching of The Americans make him extraordinarily paranoid.

Over at the Mondrian Hotel, Seema, Carrie, and Nya are seated at the bar trolling for rich men...the way high-end prostitutes often do. Seema is promptly hit on by a gin producer, while Nya catches the eye of Ian, who sexily sashays over and offers to buy her a drink. Carrie, meanwhile, mumbles that she's off to play Wordle.

Seema brings the gin producer back to her place...and he informs her that he sometimes suffers from erectile dysfunction. He proceeds to pull out a penis pump and starts doing some inflating of his nether region. 

Over at Casa Che, Miranda is unable to get some much needed sleep with Che in the adjoining living room, loudly partying with a group of rowdy friends.

Carrie is strolling down the street when she gets a call from Seema, who tells her about the gin producer's penis pump. A few seconds later, a man in the bicycle lane comes barrelling towards Carrie and is yelling at her to move - but she's so flustered by the sight of the oncoming bicycle that she doesn't move out of the way in time...and for some inane reason the cyclist doesn't think to apply the brakes to prevent a needless accident and crashes. Carrie profusely apologizes to the injured stranger and offers to take him the nearby Urgent Care clinic...and he says that since his wrist is starting to swell, he has no choice but to take her up on it. 

While filling out the forms at the Urgent Care clinic, Carrie learns that the dumbass cyclist's name is George Campbell, and that he has a [business] partner named Paul, who 1) Carrie assumes is his gay lover, and 2) non-coincidentally calls a moment later to anxiously inquire about the status of their upcoming presentation. George tells Paul about stupidly crashing his bicycle...and a few seconds later, the receptionist tells George that the doctor is available to see him now.

Charlotte tells Harry that she and Rock had a Zoom meeting with the advertising team at Ralph Lauren and confirmed that the model scout was in fact legit, and that Rock has been invited to participate in a "family concept" style photoshoot. Rock re-emphasis how badly they want to model, and vows to use their earnings to plant trees in Israel. Harry continues to look unimpressed and insists that Ralph Lauren is somehow being exploitive, but Rock is all 'whatever' and tells him that Charlotte will be accompanying them to the shoot, which is guaranteed to be an awesome experience.

While in the waiting room at Urgent Care, Carrie calls Seema and says she's so worried about George Campbell suing her for crashing his bicycle that she's considering writing him a check to cover his medical expenses. Seema, meanwhile, updates her on Mr. Penis Pump, who apparently delivers great foreplay - but mediocre sex that usually entails her needing to finish herself off. A few seconds later, George emerges from the exam room with a cast on his broken wrist...and Carrie scrunches her face concernedly at the semi-serious injury, and then again when she overhears George's credit card get declined at the reception desk.

Nya meets up with Miranda to cackle about her fabulous one night stand, and girlishly describe how vigorously she and Ian went at it all night long...and then when dawn finally broke, she sashayed home and leisurely slept. Miranda tells her she's jealous - mostly of the 'sleep' part of her story - then explains that she doesn't currently have a permanent home in which she can ever get a good night's sleep. Nya chews on that for a few seconds and invites her to crash in Andre's now defunct music room. 

When Carrie arrives at George's apartment with several bags of takeout, she looks stunned by the loft's ginormousness. Carrie hands him the food and offers her typing services to aid with his upcoming presentation, and George says that, weird as that is, he'll take her up on it.

Later, George assures Carrie that, even with a broken wrist, he's quite capable of cooking and/or ordering in...and explains that he's rich and has zero financial hardships (his declined credit card notwithstanding). As Carrie starts typing something on his laptop, he caresses her hand and leans in for a smooch...and while that's happening, Paul enters the apartment holding dry cleaning, looks less than thrilled to see George making out with Carrie, and brusquely announces, "It's game time." Carrie takes the hint that Paul is not remotely interested in exchanging niceties with her and wisely beats a hasty retreat. 

While out for an extremely spicy dinner, Che tells Miranda that the TV pilot is about to undergo testing by a randomly chosen focus group...and Che seems somehow unconcerned about what kind of career-ending feedback that could bring about. Miranda shares that she's going to be moving into Nya's spare room, not least 'cause Nya's apartment is very close to Brady's/Steve's townhouse, and that she's desperate to finally get a good night's sleep.

A beaming Charlotte and Rock arrive at the Ralph Lauren photoshoot, and the stylist greets them and asks Charlotte if she's really actually truly decked out from head to toe in vintage Ralph Lauren. Charlotte giddily replies that she is...and, what's more, she's been wearing the designer ever since she was a teenager. 

While out bed shopping, Miranda tells Carrie she's patiently waiting for Steve to move out of the brownstone...and is being extra tolerant of the fact that he seems to be taking his sweet time 'cause she doesn't feel entitled to ask/say anything about their living arrangements on account of she's the monster who blew up their lives. Carrie says she's having dinner with George tonight, and that every assumption she's made about him so far (being gay, broke) has been wrong.

Harry sneaks into the Ralph Lauren photoshoot (as Rock is being photographed jumping up and down on a trampoline), hilariously incognito in his Phillip Jennings Halloween costume. He approaches a guy sitting in front of a computer, refers to the shoot as dope, and asks if there's going to be anything "dirty or sexy" projected onto the green screen. The bewildered guy gives him a the fuck? look and tells him that this is a family shoot with kids present...so, no, prolly not. As Harry holds up both hands and backs away, he runs straight into Charlotte, who firmly orders him to skedaddle before Rock sees him. 

From behind a two-way mirror, Che watches the focus group as they provide feedback on the pilot. The group generally likes Tony Danza...but when the conversation turns to Che's very touching 'hey dad, I'm non-binary' scene, one of the participants (who's later identified as a queer gender Brooklynite) called Che "a walking Boomer joke that felt so fake". They go on to describe Che as "a phony, sanitized, performative, cheesy ass bullshit version of what the non-binary experience is" - bwahahahaha!! - before adding that the pilot sucked as badly as a pilot could possibly suck. Che stares at the two way mirror with an expression of utter devastation as the other focus group participants pile on the bandwagon about how much they too really fucking hated the Che character. Awesome.

Later at Casa Che, Che is despondently smoking a joint while Miranda cooks dinner and trash talks the ABC "corporate assholes" who don't understand comedy, and then baselessly mocks the focus group participants for being "tourists in Time Square". Che glumly informs her that the most outspoken hater of the show was a gender queer person who lives in Brooklyn...and clearly knows shitty TV when they see it. Miranda responds by barking that "ABC can eat shit and die", and an irked Che wearily tells her to shut it and go away for a few days 'cause they're in desperate need of some alone time. A crestfallen Miranda agrees to sleep elsewhere tonight and meekly asks for a hug before she dejectedly shuffles out.

Seema has invited Mr. Penis Pump into her bed a second time...and after he climaxes, he carries on and on about how wow it was, while Seema quietly retrieves the sex toy out of her nightstand drawer in order to finish herself off. Mr. Penis Pump stares at her incredulously and asks her if she's for real...and when she assures him she is and that his penis pump is just as noisy as her dildo, he angrily puts his pants on, snaps, "Not cool!", and pissily storms out of the bedroom.

Carrie is once again over at George's massive loft apartment...and the two are canoodling atop the bed when Paul interrupts to Face Time George about more work stuff. George leaves his phone atop the bed and then rushes over to his home office to email whatever file Paul desperately needs at this very moment...so then Paul directly addresses Carrie and says he has nothing against her personally, then launches into an explanation about how he and George have had a few bumpy years being business partners. A befuddled Carrie refrains from engaging with Paul and covertly slides off the side of the bed, grabs her shoes, and crawls out of the bedroom. She informs George that she's heading out (never to return), and jokingly wishes him and his "wife" Paul a happy marriage before voice-overing, "And just like that, George and I were over."

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Recap: While out for breakfast, Carrie presents Jackie with a personally signed copy of her new book...and he wankingly thanks her for the literary treasure - but a few seconds later gets so gassy that he has to rush off to the men's room. Carrie starts fiddling with her phone just as Enid Frick enters the restaurant and reluctantly shuffles over to say hello, offer belated condolences about Big's death, and bitterly share that she was recently ousted from Vogue. Carrie praises Enid's latest venture, the Ask Enid newsletter, and asks her if she'd be interested in using the newsletter to plug her latest book, and Enid's all 'nope' and condescendingly says that if she plugs her book she'd have to plug everyone's book. She then announces that she's about to launch a new online magazine titled Vivant (Alive in French) and would love Carrie's [unspecified] support. When she explains that it's geared for "women our age" who are underrepresented in the media, Carrie looks taken aback at being lumped into Enid's advanced age category - just as Enid gets a call and has to rush off.

Lily, Rock, and a bunch of other kids are boarding the bus en route to the summer camp that's going to keep them out of their parents' hair for the next four weeks (hurray!). The parents - including Lisa/Herbert and Charlotte/Harry - bid their kids a faux sad farewell before wooting and cheering once the bus is out of hearing range. As Charlotte and Harry immediately race off together, Lisa chucklingly remarks to Herbert that clearly the two are going home to get it on. She then changes the subject and tells him that she invited her dad to their anniversary party, and Herbert looks alarmed and reminds her that her dad and his prickly ma do not get along...and says this as though the wretched Eunice is actually capable of getting along with anyone. 
​
Over at Casa Brady/Hobbes, Miranda wakes to the sound of Steve noisily working out with his speed bag. She climbs out of bed, reminds Brady that they're scheduled to be at the therapist's office at 1pm, then lumbers over to the bathroom. She promptly gets a text from Che, who has sent of photo of themselves in Houston decked out in a cowboy hat.

Carrie asks Seema if she presents like a seventy-five year old retiree, then explains that a former colleague recently suggested that the two of them are around the same age. She grumbles about how this person wants her to write for her new online venture - a magazine named Vivant that's geared for older women - and further complains that she has zero interest in attending the lame start-up's kick-off event. Seema tells her to just ignore the sad old lady - until she learns they've been talking about Enid Frick, who she considers a legend. She urges Carrie to negotiate with Enid to plug her latest book in exchange for writing contributions to Vivant...and Carrie chews on that prospect as she checks her phone and looks mystified by the continuous messages and photos from a Marlon Shafer, who texts that "a little birdie" gave him her number.

Over on Park Avenue, Charlotte and Harry are vigorously knockin' boots while calling each other "fucking hot". As a special treat, Charlotte invites Harry to jizz all over her chest, and he's like, "Hmm...can do" and directs his jizz boobs-bound - but ends up having what looks like a completely dry orgasm. 

The next day over lunch, Charlotte needlessly recounts Harry's jizz-less climax to Carrie, Miranda, and Anthony. Miranda wryly tells Charlotte that she should consider jizz-less sex to be an upgrade, Carrie decides she'd personally miss the presence of ejaculate if it were suddenly gone, and a bored Anthony makes it clear how tiny of a rat's ass he gives about Harry's "dust balls". 

That evening, Lisa and Herbert are out for drinks, cackling joyously about having no pesky kids around for the next four weeks. Herbert assures his wife that he handled the invitations for their upcoming anniversary party [though: not], and also announces that he's decided to voluntarily squash his dream of running for City Comptroller. 

Charlotte and Harry pay a visit to their family doctor, who assures them that Harry's dry orgasming can easily be remedied with some regular Kegel exercises. Later, at home, Charlotte presides over Harry like a drill sergeant as she barkingly tells him the best way to strengthen his penile region. OMFG.

Over at the therapist's office, Brady says he's sooooo done talking about his breakup with Luisa, and would much rather focus his energy on his parents' confusing living situation. He add that he hates being in the middle of their separation-in-progress and not knowing if they're ever going to fully split. The therapist asks Miranda and Steve whaddup with them not finding a more permanent housing situation now that their marriage is 100% kaput, so Steve amiably says that Miranda can keep the apartment while he finds a place that's closer to his bar. Brady then chooses this moment to announce that he's not interested in starting college in the fall...and Steve says he's A-OK with that, while Miranda stares into space with an ashen expression while weakly insisting that she has nothing to say about what she clearly thinks is a monumentally stupid life decision.

While heading over to Che's apartment, Miranda tells Carrie she has sooooo much to say about Brady not attending college, and is incensed at Steve for being so chill about this disaster-in-the-making. When Carrie asks her why she didn't interject with her very strong opinion on the matter, she says she doesn't feel entitled to have one 'cause of how dicktastically she blew up their lives last season. A few seconds later, the two arrive at Che's doorstep and are greeted by Che and Lyle (who drove them to New York). As Miranda and Che start smooching and then rudely rush off to the bedroom, Carrie asks Lyle what his story is, so he tells her he was married to Che for two years and used to be a Beverly Hills hairstylist. The two then wander over to the couch, which breaks as soon as they sit down on it...and when Che and Miranda rush out to see what the crashing noise was, they chuckle heartily at the sight of the broken piece of furniture.

Charlotte and Harry arrive at the Wexley's anniversary party (being held in a swanky restaurant they rented out for the evening). They politely say hello to sourpuss Eunice, and are introduced to Mark Kasabian (Lisa's art dealer friend). Shortly afterwards, Lisa's dad arrives and gushes about how impressed he is by the venue, while Eunice haughtily chastises a waiter for the crime of walking around with a plate of hors d'oeuvres. Lisa asks Herbert whaddup with most of their guests being no-shows...so he checks his phone and realizes that - oops - he stupidly forgot to hit the send button. An annoyed Lisa blurts out his screw-up to the guests who did show up (who, she bitchily points out, are only there 'cause she invited them the old fashioned way), and a dismayed Mark covertly tells Charlotte he's definitely not going to be able to sneak out early like he was planning.

Che and Lyle tell Miranda and Carrie the story of how they first hooked up and got married, and blah blah...I don't care. 

Back at the party, Eunice insists on sitting at the far end of the very long table 'cause the temperature is most pleasing in that part of the room. Charlotte urges Harry to be nice and keep the miserable old lady company, then starts chatting it up with Mark. She offers advice on how to deal with his prickly daughter, who smuggled her phone into camp and is now begging him to pick her up...and when he's tempted to text back, Charlotte grabs the phone away from him and warns against showing his spawn any kind of weakness.

When Lyle falls asleep in the bed, Che tells Miranda they're too tired to wake him, prompting a look of deep annoyance from Miranda. 

Mark tells Charlotte he'd love for her to join his gallery, says he's quite familiar with her past art-related accomplishments, and totally digs her taste and tenacity. Charlotte moans that she hasn't been employed since Season 4 of Sex and the City, and insists that her children need her at home every minute of every day despite them being teenagers. Mark just kind of shrugs at that and tells her to let him know if she ever changes her mind. Herbert, meanwhile, announces that dessert will now be served - but Lisa hastily interjects with her own announcement that dessert is cancelled 'cause she somehow forgot to order the cake. Eunice sanctimoniously says that when she was a young mother she baked her own cakes, and Lisa points out that she's a busy career woman who has far different priorities than a simple homemaker might. Her dad chimes in and applauds his daughter for being the kind of artist who puts ideas and beauty into the world - unlike her soulless shitwad of a husband, who's fixated on making money. [Seems like an unusual complaint coming from a father-in-law, but OK.] Lisa responds to that idiotic insult by fibbing to everyone that her non-soulless husband is running for City Comptroller...and everyone cheers while a confused Herbert's all, "Wha-a-a-a?"

Miranda and Che are getting it on atop the bed...and a few seconds later, Lyle wakes up and joins in by spooning Che. Che looks totally into it and asks Miranda if she's up for an impromptu ménage à trois and Miranda admits that her overwhelmed reaction to that question prolly means she's not - but that she's willing to give it a half-hearted try. She continues to smooch Che and reaches out to grab Lyle's ass - but is forced to stop threesoming when she [conveniently] gets a severe muscle cramp in her leg. She urges them to carry on with their sexing before hobbling out of the room - but a few seconds later, Che opts to follow her out to canoodle her atop the broken couch.

Carrie arrives at Enid's kick-off event while on the phone with Seema, who coaches her on how to not be afraid of being coldly transactional about getting her book plugged. Carrie enters the luxury residence, notices that Gloria Steinem (!) is there, and politely greets Enid. She's about to bring up the issue of wanting her book plugged in exchange for her writing services when Bitsy Von Muffling suddenly shrieks, "Carrrrrrie!" from across the room...and Enid wryly tells Carrie she only invited the bothersome twit 'cause of her deep pockets. Bitsy giddily asks Carrie what she thinks of Marlon Shafer and reveals that she's the one who's been trying to set them up for a sexy rendezvous. She strongly urges Carrie to hit the sheets with him 'cause he's super great in the sack...which apparently she knows first-hand 'cause she routinely cheated with him on her gay husband [which I guess finally puts to rest the non-mystery of dead Bobby's sexuality]. A weirded out Carrie assures Bitsy she's feeling far less lonely these days, then hastily excuses herself. 

Gloria Steinem addresses the guests with a short speech about the magazine world's new frontier - aging - while Bitsy texts Carrie a Marlon Shafer dick pic. As Carrie glares at her in visible annoyance, Bitsy obliviously responds with an enthusiastic thumbs up...lol.

Charlotte is giving Harry's pecker a vigorous hand job...and he rewards her efforts with a jizz-filled orgasm, which she happily mops up with a tissue.

Carrie gushes to Gloria Steinem about devoting her entire life to advocating for women's rights. She remarks on how she almost didn't attend this event 'cause she was worried that she didn't belong...which she confesses is part of a deep-seated ageism. 
 
Carrie tells Enid she'd be delighted to write for Vivante...and Enid stares back at her blankly before explaining that she wants a 100K investment for her magazine, not her clunky 'I couldn't help but wonder' written musings. Carrie looks taken aback for a few seconds, then cheekily points out that if she gives her 100K she'd have to give everyone 100K. Heh. Gloria Steinem suddenly interrupts to say bye, then poses for a quick photo with Carrie and Enid...and when Enid grabs Carrie's phone to make sure that the photo is to her liking, she's aghast to see several dick pics of Marlon, aka her current boyfriend. That's fairly awkward...and also really contrived. Carrie sheepishly explains that someone was trying to set her up with him, and snidely adds that she'd never be interested in dating a man that old. Enid debates whether or not she should be offended at being indirectly referred to as old, but then shakes it off and says she's ready to barter a 100K Vivante contribution in exchange for plugging Carrie's latest book.