Recap: Carrie meets up with her high school sweetheart, David Duchovny, and the two obligatorily gush about how awesome the other looks. David Duchovny says since last they spoke he's been married and divorced...and when Carrie tells him she's currently single, he shakes his head in faux disbelief and marvels, "How is that possible?" OMFG. After that nauseating wanking, the two reminisce about being a couple in high school, then agree that since neither finds the other completely repulsive now that they've hit middle age, they're A-OK with spending the next few hours having dinner together.
Blair Underwood drops by Miranda's apartment to give her a couple of court-side tickets to the upcoming Knicks game. He says he hopes she comes, and that he'll keep an eye out for her...and Miranda's like, "Er, OK" 'cause she isn't sure if this gesture in any way qualifies as him asking her out on a date.
While strolling on the Upper East Side, David Duchovny tells Carrie he's been taking some time off to sort through his various emotional issues...then leaves it at that for now. He says he really really wants to kiss her, and that his nervousness about it is weird 'cause they used to neck plenty in high school. Carrie gives him the green light to give her a smooch, and he leans in and plants one on her lips.
The next day, Samantha is ambling down the street, fanning herself 'cause of the extreme heat when she runs into Ginger Spice, who waxes on about the refreshing dip she just had in the nearby Soho House rooftop pool. Samantha's all, "Wha-a-a? Rooftop pool?" ... then at the next brunch summit, rails to the gigolas about how there's a fabulous swimming pool one block from her apartment - but she can't access it 'cause of the long waiting list for new members. Carrie changes the subject to herself and announces that she's renewed her interest in her high school boyfriend and thinks it's long past time they hit the sheets. Charlotte squeals for joy, then dreamily coos, "You're marrying him" - but Carrie says that that would be too troubling an outcome [not just for him, apparently], 'cause what if she had had the perfect guy in high school...then dumped him to move to New York and whore around with every Kurt, Gilles, and Big for the next twenty years?? Fair point. When the gals ask her why she dumped David Duchovny, she says she figured there had to be better guys out there, then laughs in bitter incredulity as she snarks, "Turns out there aren't."
Back at Casa Bradshaw, Carrie is glancing through her high school yearbook and grins nostalgically when she comes across the photo of a young David Duchovny. She then decides why not make my imminent hookup with David Duchovny the focus of my weekly dreck? and throws out to her tabloid rag readership whether they (meaning her) have graduated past their (meaning her) ability to find true love. She then taps out on her computer: when it comes to matters of the heart, did we have it right in high school?
Samantha is at the front desk of the Soho House, bitchily inquiring about how she might go about getting a membership. The snooty desk clerk tells Samantha that, unfortunately for her, the rooftop pool is so fabulous during this hot August weather that it's at full capacity every day...which means they can't admit any new members. Samantha haughtily snarks, "Do you know who I am?" - LOL - and the unimpressed desk clerk rolls her eyes and is like, "Uh, no", so Samantha slinks over to the nearest washroom to freshen up and gather the remaining scraps of her dignity. As she washes her hands, the attendant asks her if she mistakenly left her ID card on the counter, and Samantha perks up and says she did, then quickly notes that the name on the card is Annabelle Bronstein. The following day she uses Annabelle's card to sneak into the club, relaxes in the delicious looking pool on a floatie, and keeps suspicion to a minimum by paying cash for her drinks.
Stanford and Marcus are dining in a restaurant called Cafeteria (for those viewers who haven't yet grasped that the theme of this episode is 'a nostalgic trip down memory lane to the high school years') when they spot Charlotte and Anthony at a nearby table. Stanford drags Marcus over so he can once again rub his boyfriend's hotness in Anthony's face, then smugly announces that they're attending the upcoming LGBT Center prom and that he's on the decorations committee. Anthony (pot) disdainfully asks (kettle) if the theme is queer and queerer, and Charlotte shoots him the stink-eye before dreamily reminiscing about how she was prom queen and, generally, the belle of the ball in high school. Stanford says he missed his prom because - and Anthony bitchily interjects, "You were gay!" ... and after malevolently blurting that out a couple more times, Stanford leaves in a huff, dragging Marcus along with him. Charlotte glares disapprovingly at Anthony and chides his rudeness, and he retorts by passing along some dish about how Marcus used to be a gay escort, which he learned about after stumbling across an ad in a vintage issue of Honcho magazine. LOL. Charlotte's like, "I don't believe it!", but then doesn't seem disinterested enough in the boredom that is Marcus's past, so Anthony promises to send her his copy of the magazine asap.
While at the Knick's game, Charlotte and Miranda pore over the Honcho issue featuring gay escort "Paul" and both agree it's definitely Marcus. Ho hum. Miranda waves hello at Blair Underwood...and when he flirtily grins back at her, Charlotte gushes, "He totally likes you!" and Miranda decides that, yes, the court-side seats are far too impressive for his interest in her to be merely casual. At half-time, the sexy New York City Dancers burst onto the court and prance around in tank tops and black jeans...and Blair Underwood bobs his head to the beat while openly ogling a saucy looking blonde. Charlotte scrunches her face with disapproval and haughtily remarks to Miranda that the shameless hussy is flirting with her (maybe) boyfriend! After the game, Miranda is about to amble over to Blair Underwood - but when he starts chatting it up with the blonde and allows himself to be hugged by her, she loses her nerve, declares, "That's it. I'm out" and glumly exits the stadium with Charlotte.
Over at Casa Bradshaw, Carrie invites David Duchovny to stay the night so they can finally go all the way...and David Duchovny pauses for a moment - 'cause, ack - and says he needs to be honest about something. The something turns out to be that he's currently living in a mental institution 'cause of his need to sort through his various emotional issues...and Carrie scrunches her horsey face confusedly and is all, "Wha-a-a-a? Mental institution??"
Samantha uses Annabelle Bronstein's ID card to smuggle the gigolas (and Standford) into the Soho House...and the five spend a lazy afternoon lounging by the rooftop pool. Carrie gabbles about the mental state of her boyfriend, while Miranda complains about having to compete for Blair Underwood's attention with a hot young cheerleader. Stanford brags about how happy he is with Marcus 'cause of there being no secrets between them - but once he dives underwater and is temporarily out of earshot, Charlotte spills the beans about Marcus's stint as a gay escort named Paul, then passes around Anthony's copy of Honcho. Samantha gasps and loudly blurts out, "Oh my! Is that Marcus?!" just as Stanford emerges from the pool and asks, "Is what Marcus?" - and Samantha reluctantly hands over the magazine. When he demands to know where it came from, Charlotte admits that Anthony gave it to her...and while Stanford's mulling over that humiliation, a waiter comes by to ask which one of them is [claiming to be] Annabelle Bronstein. Samantha says she is - but the waiter says that's impossible, since Annabelle is currently in London. And British. Samantha slips into a fake sounding British accent and starts prattling nonsense while the other gals wisely beat a hasty retreat. Samantha hangs in there, continuing to make a half-hearted effort to pretend to the waiter that she's Annabelle Bronstein...but after a few seconds, it's clear that the jig is up, and she gathers up her stuff and dashes out before security shows up.
Miranda's in her building's lobby, getting her mail, when she runs into Blair Underwood, who asks her where she disappeared to after the Knick's game. Miranda sullenly says he looked busy talking to that nubile cheerleader, then asks if he likes her. Blair Underwood chuckles and says he likes someone else...then leans in close and clarifies, "You." He plants a smooch on her lips, and the two get amorous until a crotchety looking woman enters the mail room and glares derisively at their PDA.
David Duchovny shows up at Carrie's apartment carrying a bag of marbles to illustrate what he lost when he dated her in high school...and then, more recently, when he decided to start seeing her again. He sheepishly says he probably should have told her about his mental problems sooner - but then insists that being in a mental institution isn't as bad as it sounds, and that he needs to be there 'cause of all "the heavy stuff" he's currently going through. Carrie contorts her horsey face into an expression of empathy...and a few seconds later the two start smooching and get it on.
Miranda is in bed with Blair Underwood, enthusiastically riding him while wearing her bra.
Stanford is over at Carrie's, telling her he confronted Marcus about his secret life as a gay escort named Paul...and that Marcus explained that he only did it to finance his dance classes. Stanford says he's so dismayed by the secrecy that he instantly dumped Marcus, which means he no longer has a date to the LGBT prom. He moans that it's like high school all over again, then begs Carrie to be his date - but Carrie says she can't 'cause she has to visit her boyfriend at the asylum. When she blushes all smitten-like, Stanford correctly guesses that she and David Duchovny finally hit the sheets.
When Carrie arrives at the asylum, David Duchovny waits for her in the lobby, holding up a sign with Bradshaw written on it, like limo drivers at the airport do. Har har. The two head outside and enjoy a picnic on the front lawn...and a few minutes into the scene, Michael Patrick King makes a needless cameo as a fleeing mental patient who's quickly subdued by the guards. David Duchovny tells Carrie there's no getting around the fact that this is a full-on psychiatric facility, so Carrie breezily says he's probably the sanest person here. He's like, "Uh, speaking of being sane..." then tells her it's probably not the best idea for them to start any kind of relationship 'cause he's going to be stuck in the asylum for the next 8-10 months. Very deft, David Duchovny.
Carrie and Stanford are dancing together at the LGBT prom when Marcus cuts in and begs Stanford to forgive his secret life as a gay escort. When Carrie wanders over to the punch table to give them their privacy, Stanford asks Marcus if he ever slept with Anthony...and when Marcus looks suitably horrified and exclaims, "God no!" the two quickly make up, press up against each other, and sway to the music. Carrie grins happily at her gay friends' happy ending and does a solo jig to the retro beat.