And Just Like That.. - Season 3, Episode 1

Recap: As little (kitty) Shoo stares longingly out the window of her luxury Manhattan townhome, Carrie is hand drawing a heart on a postcard that's addressed to Aidan's Virginia farmhouse. She then throws on a jacket and dashes off to slip the postcard into the nearest mailbox.

That evening, Miranda drags Carrie and Charlotte along to a gay bar so she can have some moral support while she trolls for a lesbian hookup. Carrie tells the gals the latest on her muted relationship with Aidan: the two are exchanging blank postcards while he deals with his weird teenage son (Wyatt). Charlotte soon notices that a young-ish woman is staring over at Miranda from across the bar, prompting her and Carrie to hastily slip out. Miranda ambles over to the woman (Cassandra Walsh), who's all, "Hey Miranda!" and reminds her that she used to be Brady's old babysitter. Miranda pretends to have recognized her from across the bar, then tells her that she and Steve got divorced and sold the brownstone...and that Brady and Steve are living in a loft together while she (for some inane reason) is holed up in an Airbnb. She then brings up "the elephant in the room" and self-identifies as a lesbian, as well as a recovering alcoholic who drinks mocktails. Cassandra's like, "OK, fantastic" and says she's gotta run now 'cause she just saw her girlfriend walk in.
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Seema has dozed off while waiting many hours for a FaceTime call from her boyfriend Ravi, who's still on location in Egypt, filming his latest movie. When the FaceTime call finally comes through, she's miffed when the face that appears on her computer is Ravi's assistant, who tells her that Ravi is too busy filming to talk to her. She ends the call, lights a cigarette, and promptly falls asleep and unwittingly sets the bed on fire. In the next scene, the fireman tells her she's lucky that only her mattress got burned, and she stares back at him incredulously as she wails, "Look at my hair!" (which got crispy from the flames).The fireman somehow refrains from pointing out that anyone who would do something as stupid as smoke in bed while exhausted should prolly be kicked out of the building as a needless fire hazard. 

Back at the lesbian bar, Miranda is being brazenly checked out by a smitten looking Rosie O'Donnell. While that's happening, an irate looking woman stomps past them as she complains to someone on her phone, "There's nothing but randos at the bar now" ... and when Miranda looks taken aback by the insult, Rosie O'Donnell ambles over and says she definitely wouldn't put her in the rando category. Shen then introduces herself, says she's from a small town near Winnipeg (despite her distinctive Long Island accent), and cooingly wanks, "You're soooooo pretty." She boldly shares that she has a hotel room nearby, and Miranda's like 'what the hell, I've got nothing better to do' and heads off with her new friend.

A restless Lisa slinks out of bed at 4:15am to work on her PBS docuseries.

Hours later, Miranda wakes up in bed next to Rosie O'Donnell, who gushes, "You are amaaaaazing", and lays it on thick about how their action between the sheets was so stupefyingly electric, but yet also so natural. When she shares that it was her first time sharing a bed with anyone 'cause she's lived her entire adult life as a nun, Miranda stares back at her with an aghast, weirded out expression.

Over in Central Park, a woman is screeching, "Monster!" at Charlotte's dog (Mr. Richard Burton), accusing him of previously attacking her small dog Peanut while he was aggressively racing around off-leash. Charlotte insists that Mr. Burton, aka her sweet angel, is never off-leash unless he's inside a dog run, while Lisa (who has accompanied Charlotte on her morning walk) urges the angry woman to chillax. The woman ignores Lisa and tells Charlotte she's on the hook to pay for Peanut's MRI, despite there being no witnesses of the alleged attack.

Later at home, Charlotte recounts the ugly park/Mr. Burton incident to Harry and Rock, and is adamant that their innocent dog shouldn't be accused of assault without proof. A few seconds later, Lilly saunters into the kitchen and reminds her mom that she and Rock are supposed to accompany her, Carrie, Anthony, and Guiseppe to the ballet rehearsal on Thursday...and when a disinterested looking Charlotte asks to be reminded why she's leaving her gallery job early to attend this kind of non-event, Rock slyly shares that Lilly is in love with the lead dancer.

Carrie - who has a cartoonishly floppy monstrosity atop her head masquerading as a hat of some kind - and Seema are strolling through Central Park, noshing on ice cream cones. Seema tells Carrie that she demanded Ravi fly to New York to see her so she can take that as proof he loves her, then wistfully asks Carrie what it's like to be so relaxed and mature about her relationship with Aidan. Carrie breezily tells Seema that she and Aidan have been in each other's lives for a very long time [though not really, since they only dated for maybe a couple of years before she dumped him for good], and clarifies that she didn't always give off the impression that she was secure and confident...which is probably one of the grandest understatements ever to be uttered on AJLT.

Lisa is in her studio, revealing to two PBS women the ten unsung, African-American "sheroes" she's chosen to highlight for her docuseries. They agree that her choices are amaaaaazing  - just as Herbert phones to stupidly ask, "Am I cool?" He explains that his campaign manager Chauncey has strongly urged him to increase his cool factor if he expects to successfully run for Comptroller of New York...and Lisa points out that there's nothing at all cool about that city job - plus, it's entirely uncool that he just interrupted her meeting. When she returns to the studio, the PBS women urge her to switch out one of her ten shero choices for Michelle Obama. Lisa points out that her docuseries is intended to highlight unsung women, remarking that Michelle Obama is "very sung". The women insist that the docuseries really really needs to include the country's first First Lady of color, then sashay out of the studio, assuming that their recommendation is a done deal.
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Carrie is browsing through a clothing rack when she gets a home security phone alert that her kitchen door is open. She rushes down multiple flights of stairs (!) to disarm her alarm system, and then call the security company to confirm that all is well and complain that this is the third time the alarm has needlessly gone off. She proceeds to trip over her own feet and falls on the floor, and dials Miranda to lament, "I've fallen and I can't get up."

By the time Miranda rushes over to Carrie's mansion, Carrie has determined that she's uninjured - except for a sore pinkie finger. Miranda takes the opportunity to dish to Carrie that she recently had sex with a nun, then promptly gets a text from Rosie O'Donnell inviting her to dine together at Tavern on the Green. Carrie chuckles derisively at the lameness of stepping foot in such a touristy establishment, and Miranda concurs and says she's going to (not) respond to the invitation by ghosting the needy nun. 

Lisa is at home, preparing dinner for the family while grumbling about being strong-armed into featuring Michelle Obama in her unsung sheroes docuseries. When Herbert reminds her about the cocktail party she's throwing him to kick start his Comptroller campaign, she bitches about how Chauncey has been sending her endless text messages about it. She spots a collectible Black doll on the counter and asks her daughter (Gabrielle) what it's doing there...and when Gabrielle explains that she's doing a report on it for school, Lisa warns that it's going to really reek of pork if she doesn't move it away from the kitchen. Lisa then asks Herbert if anyone in his office has a connection to the Obamas, and he promises to check - before reminding her that including an Obama in her docuseries doesn't comport with her vision, and urges her to stand up for herself better.
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​Carrie arrives at Lincoln Center and meets up with Anthony and Guiseppe, who schmaltzily gushes about how bella she's looking today. Anthony expresses surprise that she's at "this stupid ballet thing" and asks her why she's not in her fabulous mansion hanging with her Paul Bunyan boyfriend. Carrie explains that Aidan is out of town for an unspecified period of time...and Anthony reacts to that by contorting his face into an expression of disapproving puzzlement.

Lilly and Rock arrive at Lincoln Center and inform Carrie that Charlotte is not coming, 'cause Mr. Burton's dog walker quit after hearing about his alleged attack on Peanut. 

Inside the theater, Anthony presses Carrie about how long Aidan is going to be out of town, and Carrie shrugs and says she has no idea 'cause he's working out some family stuff. Guiseppe deftly changes the subject and asks her how her writing is going, so she says she hasn't written in awhile 'cause she's been consumed with aimlessly wandering around her ginormous new mansion. As the lights dim and the ballet rehearsal gets underway, Rock points out to Carrie the lead dancer that Lilly has the hots for.

Charlotte arrives at a doggie daycare with Mr. Burton in tow - but the intake clerk takes one look at him and mutters, "Oh no.." before informing Charlotte that he heard about his alleged attack on Peanut, who just happens to be chillin' nearby in his dog carriage. The clerk also makes it clear that he has zero interest in hearing Charlotte's side of the story.

After the ballet performance, Lilly jumps to her feet and enthusiastically applauds, and looks positively ecstatic when the lead dancer smiles in her direction...and excitedly informs Carrie that she's going to head backstage to say hi to her crush. Anthony, meanwhile, continues to press Carrie on her long distance relationship with Aidan and his family problems...and Carrie looks visibly annoyed by his inability to shut up about it and says the thing she most loves about ballet is that it contains "no words". When Rock ambles over, they and Carrie head off to get a cheeseburger...and a perplexed Anthony asks Guiseppe if she seemed displeased. Guiseppe confirms that, yep, she did and advises, "Don't be so you all the time."

Later at the townhome mansion, Carrie picks up her Magic 8 ball, shakes it, and looks comforted by the message that emerges: outlook good.

Late that night, Aidan calls Carrie and coos that he misses her soooooo much, then tells her he's been drinking several beers (away from the house so Wyatt doesn't get into his alcohol stash) and is now sitting in his truck that's parked in a remote field. He moans, "I ache for you" and says if he were there with her right now, he'd be touching her in orgasmic ways. He then orders her to "be me" with her hands, and unzips his pants - accidentally leaning on the horn in the process. Oops. He jokes about maybe having shit his pants just now (!), then hocks a loogie to generate some much needed lubricant for his dried out manroot as he pants, "I need this soooooo fucking much." Carrie, meanwhile, looks kind of weirded out [or maybe that was me - projecting] and seems barely into the phone sex, murmuring, "Me too. My goodness.." Indeed, Carrie. Oh my goodness.

Miranda calls Carrie to complain about how she keeps getting texts from Sister Rosie O'Donnell, asking her if she'd like to get together and ride on the Central Park carousel.
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Ravi Gordi finally arrives in New York and heads straight over to Seema's place. He showers her with flowers, and breakfast in bed the next morning...then tells her that, before they can go to lunch at a fancy restaurant, he has one tiny task to do for his movie.

In the next scene, Seema is visibly annoyed when she realizes she's expected to cram herself into Ravi's van, along with his location scout team. When someone complains about the stench of her perfume, she irritably rolls down the window.

Over at Casa Wexley, Charlotte wails to Lisa about how Mr. Burton's Instagram account has several warnings about his aggressive behavior...and so Lisa, who can barely feign interest in the matter, wearily suggests to Charlotte that she just pay for Peanut's MRI and "make this go away". I second that. Charlotte refuses and calls her dog a "sweet baby angel" - just as Lisa's all, "Ack!" when she sees that Mr. Burton is chewing on the Wexley's collectible Black doll since - one has to assume - she smells of pork after being in the kitchen while Lisa was cooking during that earlier scene.

Ravi is scouting a waterfront location that can serve as an apocalypse backdrop for his movie - but the location they're currently scouting doesn't look nearly "apocalyptic enough". Seema reminds Ravi about their lunch reservation...and when he says they're definitely not going to make it, Seema covertly calls Carrie to complain about how her movie director boyfriend insists on doing movie directing stuff all day.

Over in Central Park, Charlotte runs into Peanut's mum and reluctantly agrees to pay the MRI bill - just as an aggressive bulldog barrels over and snarlingly growls at Peanut and Mr. Burton. Charlotte smugly informs Peanut's mum that this monster is her dog's attacker...and that she'd appreciate it if she would please take down all of the inflammatory Instagram posts falsely accusing Mr. Burton.

Ravi finally finds his dream apocalyptic movie location: an abandoned pier in complete disrepair. He asks Seema if she likes this spot - but she just grumbles about how he lost track of time (and her), forcing them to miss both their lunch and dinner reservations. She decides she can't be with a man who's gainfully employed as a movie director, calls the abandoned pier "the end of us", and then struts towards her car/driver she summoned as Ravi cries, "Seema! I will always love you" (while dramatic music plays in the background).

Herbert arrives (with Lisa) at his meet 'n greet, 'vote for me to be Comptroller' party at the Red Rooster. Lisa greets the AJLT gals, then ambles off to circulate among the guests. Carrie tells the gals about her recent phone sex with Aidan, which she feels really bad about faking 'cause apparently she's always honest with Aidan about her level of sexual satisfaction whenever they doink. 
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Herbert gives everyone a thank you speech for coming to the party, then sings along with his college a cappella group for what seems like an interminably loooooong time. Harry somehow becomes so transfixed by the performance that he leaps up and shrieks, "Yeah baby!" before an embarrassed looking Charlotte shushes him. While that's happening, Anthony apologizes to Carrie for not shutting his trap about her long distance relationship with Aidan and begs, "Please don't cut me out." Carrie promises not to, admits that, yeah, she was kinda peeved, but then declares, "And just like that, I'm not. Apology accepted." She wryly adds that lots of people have opinions about her unconventional arrangement with Aidan. [While others only give the tiniest of rat's asses about it.]

Herbert's campaign manager Chauncey haughtily asks Lisa why no one cleared this a cappella performance with him, and Lisa dismissively snarks back that she's too busy to bother keeping him in the loop about any damn thing.

Miranda is at a bar with Carrie when she gets yet another text message from Rosie O'Donnell. Apparently, she just got done seeing Wicked and would love for them to meet up at the M&M's store in Times Square. Miranda says it'd be very bitchy to not respond to the kindly nun...and Carrie chortles at the anathema of a New York City resident purposely mixing with tourists anywhere near West 42nd Street. She condescendingly quips, "Give my regards to Broadway."

Rosie O'Donnell gifts Miranda a bag of customized M&Ms, and gushes about how much she looooooved seeing Wicked. She says this has been the best week of her life and asks Miranda if she'd like to knock boots a second time - but Miranda says she's not into that idea at all, and presumptuously begs her not to leave the church. Rosie O'Donnell gives her a strange look and says she has no intention of giving up nunhood, then breaks out into song: 'Because I knew you, I have been changed for good!'

Carrie kicks Shoo out of her bedroom, then calls Aidan to confess that she faked phone sex the other night - but is totally into it now. She promptly starts touching herself and lets out some convincing sounding moans - before Aidan tells her she needs to shut it down 'cause Wyatt is sleeping beside him after having a particularly bad night. As I laughed heartily, Carrie becomes so mortified that she hastily hangs up the phone...and a few seconds later, the kitchen alarm goes off again. She runs down the flights of stairs, resets the alarm, then decides to head over to her computer and do some writing. She taps out 'the woman wondered what she had gotten herself into', then stops and stares contemplatively into space.

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