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Lisa and Charlotte hope for a favorable ranking in their kids' school's MILF list
"Chapter 3"
Original airdate: 6/29/2023
Episode summary: Carrie has difficulty reliving Big's death in Chapter 3 of her audiobook. Charlotte and Lisa are flattered when they rank at the top of a student's MILF list. Miranda ruins the filming of Che's pilot.
Original airdate: 6/29/2023
Episode summary: Carrie has difficulty reliving Big's death in Chapter 3 of her audiobook. Charlotte and Lisa are flattered when they rank at the top of a student's MILF list. Miranda ruins the filming of Che's pilot.
Recap: While out and about near Bryant Park, Carrie runs into her neighbor Lisette, who's watching a crew of workmen set up the big tent for her upcoming jewelry pop-up market. Carrie assures Lisette that she'll definitely be in attendance at her jewelry party/sale, then says she's off to the studio to record the audio version of her latest book.
A few seconds after Seema exits her building, she's so distracted by her phone that a purse snatcher takes the opportunity to grab her yellow Birkin and race off. Seema yells for someone/anyone to stop the thief - but no one who's nearby does anything...and in the next scene, Seema is slouched in the back of her car, railing to Carrie on the phone about just being robbed, and that her driver is circling the block in case her purse is still in the vicinity.
While attending a parents' meeting at The Arbor School, Lisa tells Charlotte she'd like to get Miranda a thank you gift for connecting her with Nya, who has agreed to be interviewed for her documentary [and Lisa says all this as though the two didn't already connect in last season's No Strings Attached episode]. From the podium at the front of the auditorium, the principal grimly informs the parents that a student has put together a MILF list...and an intrigued Lisa covertly tells Charlotte that they're going to need to see that list, and an equally as intrigued Charlotte 100% agrees.
Over in the audio studio, Carrie proves herself to be too emotional to read Chapter 3 of her book, aka the part where Big died in the shower while she uselessly stared at him in dumbfounded horror.
Over in Los Angeles, Miranda is helping Che run lines for their pilot. The scene features Che and TV dad Tony Danza, discussing their non-binary status...and Che objects to the part where they're supposed to cry, 'cause in real life they're positively delighted to be non-binary. Che complains that the script is not representing them at all, and Miranda assures them they'll be great, then changes the subject by grumbling about how much she hates her new phone 'cause she keeps missing calls.
A few seconds after Seema exits her building, she's so distracted by her phone that a purse snatcher takes the opportunity to grab her yellow Birkin and race off. Seema yells for someone/anyone to stop the thief - but no one who's nearby does anything...and in the next scene, Seema is slouched in the back of her car, railing to Carrie on the phone about just being robbed, and that her driver is circling the block in case her purse is still in the vicinity.
While attending a parents' meeting at The Arbor School, Lisa tells Charlotte she'd like to get Miranda a thank you gift for connecting her with Nya, who has agreed to be interviewed for her documentary [and Lisa says all this as though the two didn't already connect in last season's No Strings Attached episode]. From the podium at the front of the auditorium, the principal grimly informs the parents that a student has put together a MILF list...and an intrigued Lisa covertly tells Charlotte that they're going to need to see that list, and an equally as intrigued Charlotte 100% agrees.
Over in the audio studio, Carrie proves herself to be too emotional to read Chapter 3 of her book, aka the part where Big died in the shower while she uselessly stared at him in dumbfounded horror.
Over in Los Angeles, Miranda is helping Che run lines for their pilot. The scene features Che and TV dad Tony Danza, discussing their non-binary status...and Che objects to the part where they're supposed to cry, 'cause in real life they're positively delighted to be non-binary. Che complains that the script is not representing them at all, and Miranda assures them they'll be great, then changes the subject by grumbling about how much she hates her new phone 'cause she keeps missing calls.
"I hate the fact that my TV show doesn't accurately reflect every aspect of my real life."
"Are we done talking about your failing acting career, 'cause I have a serious phone problem here."
Nya gives an interview about her journey becoming a law professor for Lisa's documentary. At one point she needs help fixing her mic...and when the hot mic guy (Brian), has to reach under into her blouse to make the adjustment, both he and Nya look undeniably smitten with each other. Lisa sees what's happening and discreetly urges Nya to give the hottie her number.
While out for lunch, Carrie tells Charlotte that the recording of the audiobook version of her book is not going well. Charlotte sympathetically points out that it can't be easy rehashing Big's death, then wankingly adds that both she and Miranda are sooooo proud of her for being able to move on so seamlessly from his passing. A few seconds later, Lisa arrives at the restaurant, with Nya in tow, and excitedly tells Charlotte that she got a copy of the MILF list (!), but is sworn to secrecy about exactly how she got it. The two then scan the list and squeal joyously at their rankings: Lisa - 2; Charlotte - 3...and note that the number 1 spot was awarded to a stepmom, who one could argue is invalid to be considered a MILF in the true sense of the acronym. Charlotte laughingly assures Nya that their lunchtime chatter isn't usually "this low brow", to which Carrie mutters, "Who have you been eating with?" (LOL), so then Nya checks her phone and giddily announces that the hot mic guy from earlier just sent her a text...and she and Lisa squeal in girlish delight.
Carrie is back in the recording studio, once more struggling with her personal account of Big's death. She soon gets emotional and tears up, and the technicians suggest skipping Chapter 3 for now.
While ambling along the street, Carrie happens to spot Bitsy Von Muffling in the waiting area of a face hair removal salon. She tells Bitsy about how badly the recording of her audiobook is going, and that she embarrassingly falls apart every time she tries to read Chapter 3. Bitsy says that in her experience, the second year of grief is far worse than the first...and that when she feels overwhelmed by the loss of her Bobby, she simply fakes a happy mood. She then recommends to Carrie that when she's feeling grief-stricken, do whatever she needs to make herself feel better.
In the next scene, Carrie returns home loaded down with a large number of shopping bags from Bergdorf Goodman. As she surrounds herself with the mountain of new shoes she just bought, she calls the studio technician to fib that she has Covid and so they'll need to hire an actress to record her audiobook.
Miranda is wandering the streets of L.A. when she comes upon a tattoo parlor. She tells the tattoo artist (Ricky) she's interested in celebrating this moment in her life so that she's never tempted to slide back into being the [employed, financially self-sufficient] person she once was. When she jokingly describes her former lawyer self as "a little robot", Ricky shows her some sample cartoon robot tattoos...and she chuckles at their whimsy, but says she should prolly choose one she can more personally connect to.
Miranda calls Carrie to report that she's contemplating getting a tattoo...and when Carrie wryly retorts that it's time for her to get back to real life in New York, she argues that she's loving her "pretend life" in L.A. and never wants the fun to end. Carrie tells her she wormed her way out of recording her audiobook 'cause [she's pretending] she has Covid...and after the call, she's trying on a ridiculous pair of shoes with red ball things on it when Charlotte calls and offers to have a variety of soothing foods couriered to her apartment.
While out for lunch, Carrie tells Charlotte that the recording of the audiobook version of her book is not going well. Charlotte sympathetically points out that it can't be easy rehashing Big's death, then wankingly adds that both she and Miranda are sooooo proud of her for being able to move on so seamlessly from his passing. A few seconds later, Lisa arrives at the restaurant, with Nya in tow, and excitedly tells Charlotte that she got a copy of the MILF list (!), but is sworn to secrecy about exactly how she got it. The two then scan the list and squeal joyously at their rankings: Lisa - 2; Charlotte - 3...and note that the number 1 spot was awarded to a stepmom, who one could argue is invalid to be considered a MILF in the true sense of the acronym. Charlotte laughingly assures Nya that their lunchtime chatter isn't usually "this low brow", to which Carrie mutters, "Who have you been eating with?" (LOL), so then Nya checks her phone and giddily announces that the hot mic guy from earlier just sent her a text...and she and Lisa squeal in girlish delight.
Carrie is back in the recording studio, once more struggling with her personal account of Big's death. She soon gets emotional and tears up, and the technicians suggest skipping Chapter 3 for now.
While ambling along the street, Carrie happens to spot Bitsy Von Muffling in the waiting area of a face hair removal salon. She tells Bitsy about how badly the recording of her audiobook is going, and that she embarrassingly falls apart every time she tries to read Chapter 3. Bitsy says that in her experience, the second year of grief is far worse than the first...and that when she feels overwhelmed by the loss of her Bobby, she simply fakes a happy mood. She then recommends to Carrie that when she's feeling grief-stricken, do whatever she needs to make herself feel better.
In the next scene, Carrie returns home loaded down with a large number of shopping bags from Bergdorf Goodman. As she surrounds herself with the mountain of new shoes she just bought, she calls the studio technician to fib that she has Covid and so they'll need to hire an actress to record her audiobook.
Miranda is wandering the streets of L.A. when she comes upon a tattoo parlor. She tells the tattoo artist (Ricky) she's interested in celebrating this moment in her life so that she's never tempted to slide back into being the [employed, financially self-sufficient] person she once was. When she jokingly describes her former lawyer self as "a little robot", Ricky shows her some sample cartoon robot tattoos...and she chuckles at their whimsy, but says she should prolly choose one she can more personally connect to.
Miranda calls Carrie to report that she's contemplating getting a tattoo...and when Carrie wryly retorts that it's time for her to get back to real life in New York, she argues that she's loving her "pretend life" in L.A. and never wants the fun to end. Carrie tells her she wormed her way out of recording her audiobook 'cause [she's pretending] she has Covid...and after the call, she's trying on a ridiculous pair of shoes with red ball things on it when Charlotte calls and offers to have a variety of soothing foods couriered to her apartment.
"I'm pretending to have Covid."
"I'm pretending to have a fulfilling life in California."
Seema is smoking while surfing the web for any second hand Birkins for sale that look like her yellow one. When the loss of her overpriced purse becomes too overwhelming, she cries, "Motherfucker!"
The next day at lunch, Seema tells Anthony that her stolen bag had deep sentimental value, then remarks that it looks as though Carrie's a no-show for their lunch date. Carrie, meanwhile, is eating takeout in her apartment...and when she gets a text from Seema, she mutters, "Oh shit.." and texts back that she can't meet them for lunch 'cause she has Covid.
A group of moms are gathered in a hallway of The Arbor School, gabbling about how the MILF list culprit has been caught...and is rumored to be a well developed teenage boy named Milo H. A few seconds later, Milo H. exits the office and gazes smoulderingly at the intrigued moms, who - quite incredibly - stare back at this underage boy in lustful fascination. One mom actually mutters, "He's hot" and makes a horny "Grrrrrr..." noise, while a hot and bothered Lisa rhetorically asks, "Why do I feel like Blanche DuBois?" [Not sure, Lisa...but if you do happen to figure out, you should prolly keep it to yourself.]
Over in the auditorium, The Arbor School principal tells the parents that misogyny won't be tolerated, and that Milo H. is going to have this stain on his permanent record. Charlotte argues that this punishment is far too extreme, then points out that Milo H. is very young and had benign intentions when he wrote up the MILF list. When Lisa concurs, the other moms accuse them of defending the boy 'cause of the top MILF rankings she and Lisa received, and they both widen their eyes and pretend they have no idea that they were ranked 2 and 3. The principal is then handed a report, which accuses some of the mothers of objectifying Milo H. in the hallway, and they look suitably sheepish while Charlotte and Lisa continue to look faux shocked.
Miranda is in line at the Warner Bros studio to attend the taping of Che's pilot when an extremely distressed Brady calls from Amsterdam to tearfully report that Luisa dumped him. He sobs that he's aimlessly wandering around Amsterdam in a state of hysterical discombobulatedness, so a concerned Miranda tells him to get to the hostel safely and then call her back. A few seconds later, the Warner Bros security guard orders everyone in line to turn their phones off before surrendering them prior to the pilot's taping, and Miranda hides her phone inside her pants and fibs that she doesn't have a phone...and that after recently losing it, she's never felt so free and liberated.
The next day at lunch, Seema tells Anthony that her stolen bag had deep sentimental value, then remarks that it looks as though Carrie's a no-show for their lunch date. Carrie, meanwhile, is eating takeout in her apartment...and when she gets a text from Seema, she mutters, "Oh shit.." and texts back that she can't meet them for lunch 'cause she has Covid.
A group of moms are gathered in a hallway of The Arbor School, gabbling about how the MILF list culprit has been caught...and is rumored to be a well developed teenage boy named Milo H. A few seconds later, Milo H. exits the office and gazes smoulderingly at the intrigued moms, who - quite incredibly - stare back at this underage boy in lustful fascination. One mom actually mutters, "He's hot" and makes a horny "Grrrrrr..." noise, while a hot and bothered Lisa rhetorically asks, "Why do I feel like Blanche DuBois?" [Not sure, Lisa...but if you do happen to figure out, you should prolly keep it to yourself.]
Over in the auditorium, The Arbor School principal tells the parents that misogyny won't be tolerated, and that Milo H. is going to have this stain on his permanent record. Charlotte argues that this punishment is far too extreme, then points out that Milo H. is very young and had benign intentions when he wrote up the MILF list. When Lisa concurs, the other moms accuse them of defending the boy 'cause of the top MILF rankings she and Lisa received, and they both widen their eyes and pretend they have no idea that they were ranked 2 and 3. The principal is then handed a report, which accuses some of the mothers of objectifying Milo H. in the hallway, and they look suitably sheepish while Charlotte and Lisa continue to look faux shocked.
Miranda is in line at the Warner Bros studio to attend the taping of Che's pilot when an extremely distressed Brady calls from Amsterdam to tearfully report that Luisa dumped him. He sobs that he's aimlessly wandering around Amsterdam in a state of hysterical discombobulatedness, so a concerned Miranda tells him to get to the hostel safely and then call her back. A few seconds later, the Warner Bros security guard orders everyone in line to turn their phones off before surrendering them prior to the pilot's taping, and Miranda hides her phone inside her pants and fibs that she doesn't have a phone...and that after recently losing it, she's never felt so free and liberated.
"I lost my phone and have been revelling in a freedom I haven't experienced since the early '90s."
"That's the kind of B.S. I can admire."
Carrie is lounging in her apartment wearing face cream and noshing on bon bons when her publisher calls to happily inform her that she arranged an extra week of studio time to record her audiobook because she strongly feels that it needs the authenticity of the writer's voice.
During the pilot taping of 'Let's Talk Endlessly About Che's Non-binary Status', the studio audience is getting lost in the tenderness of the loving father/child moment between Che and Tony Danza when Miranda's cell phone suddenly goes off. The head writer glares in the direction of the audience and snaps, "Are you fucking kidding me?!!" as a mortified Miranda fumbles to retrieve her phone to answer Brady's call (a rude interruption to the filming that she had every reason to anticipate). Che glances over at Miranda with an unmistakably pissed off expression, and the head writer snarls that no way in hell will Che be able to replicate the emotion that was just so perfectly captured on film. As Miranda scrambles to leave the studio, she comes face to face with the security guard she lied to earlier, and the guard disgustedly tells Miranda that she had believed her liberation bullcack about being phone-less.
Miranda calls Charlotte to tell her she's jumping on the next available New York flight to meet up with her heartbroken son and give him the kind of motherly comfort he so desperately needs right now.
Seema drops by Carrie's apartment with a bag of food, and Carrie finally admits that she's been lying about having Covid 'cause she's not up to recording Chapter 3 of her audiobook. She adds that she no longer wants to burden her friends by droning on and on about her Big grief - but Seema says that since she missed the first part of all that droning, she's willing to be all ears whenever she needs a sounding board. She reminds Carrie that she's allowed to feel sorry for herself as much as she wants to, and that she doesn't have to go out into the world if she doesn't feel up to it.
Miranda apologizes to Che for ruining the pilot's filming, then explains that Brady sounded positively suicidal when he called, and that it really scared her. An unmoved Che cries, "You ruined the family scene!", to which Miranda retorts that her family scene is real...and that she's off to New York to personally coddle Brady. Che breezily retorts that boys getting dumped is a normal part of life (fair point), says they have to get to hair and makeup now, and flippantly adds, "Do what you gotta do." Miranda cries, "I'm really sorrrrrrry!" and wankingly adds that she's sure the TV show is going to be a huge hit [though: not].
That evening, Carrie and Seema are at Lisette's jewelry pop-up market when they notice one of the caterer waiters brazenly stealing all of the merchandise. The thief then makes a beeline over to Carrie and Seema and orders them to hand over their jewelry, and Seema's like, "Seriously? Is this happening?" A few seconds later, Lisette finally notices what the waiter has been doing, stares at him in disbelief, and shriekingly calls for security to stop him from stealing all her stuff. Carrie somehow decides it'd be helpful to yell, "I have Covid!" right at that moment...and during the chaos of everyone stampeding for the nearest exit, Seems pulls a lighter gun on the thief, who thinks it's a real firearm and runs off into the night.
During the pilot taping of 'Let's Talk Endlessly About Che's Non-binary Status', the studio audience is getting lost in the tenderness of the loving father/child moment between Che and Tony Danza when Miranda's cell phone suddenly goes off. The head writer glares in the direction of the audience and snaps, "Are you fucking kidding me?!!" as a mortified Miranda fumbles to retrieve her phone to answer Brady's call (a rude interruption to the filming that she had every reason to anticipate). Che glances over at Miranda with an unmistakably pissed off expression, and the head writer snarls that no way in hell will Che be able to replicate the emotion that was just so perfectly captured on film. As Miranda scrambles to leave the studio, she comes face to face with the security guard she lied to earlier, and the guard disgustedly tells Miranda that she had believed her liberation bullcack about being phone-less.
Miranda calls Charlotte to tell her she's jumping on the next available New York flight to meet up with her heartbroken son and give him the kind of motherly comfort he so desperately needs right now.
Seema drops by Carrie's apartment with a bag of food, and Carrie finally admits that she's been lying about having Covid 'cause she's not up to recording Chapter 3 of her audiobook. She adds that she no longer wants to burden her friends by droning on and on about her Big grief - but Seema says that since she missed the first part of all that droning, she's willing to be all ears whenever she needs a sounding board. She reminds Carrie that she's allowed to feel sorry for herself as much as she wants to, and that she doesn't have to go out into the world if she doesn't feel up to it.
Miranda apologizes to Che for ruining the pilot's filming, then explains that Brady sounded positively suicidal when he called, and that it really scared her. An unmoved Che cries, "You ruined the family scene!", to which Miranda retorts that her family scene is real...and that she's off to New York to personally coddle Brady. Che breezily retorts that boys getting dumped is a normal part of life (fair point), says they have to get to hair and makeup now, and flippantly adds, "Do what you gotta do." Miranda cries, "I'm really sorrrrrrry!" and wankingly adds that she's sure the TV show is going to be a huge hit [though: not].
That evening, Carrie and Seema are at Lisette's jewelry pop-up market when they notice one of the caterer waiters brazenly stealing all of the merchandise. The thief then makes a beeline over to Carrie and Seema and orders them to hand over their jewelry, and Seema's like, "Seriously? Is this happening?" A few seconds later, Lisette finally notices what the waiter has been doing, stares at him in disbelief, and shriekingly calls for security to stop him from stealing all her stuff. Carrie somehow decides it'd be helpful to yell, "I have Covid!" right at that moment...and during the chaos of everyone stampeding for the nearest exit, Seems pulls a lighter gun on the thief, who thinks it's a real firearm and runs off into the night.
"Gimme your jewelry."
"Would it help to know that my Carrie necklace is barely worth a dollar?"
Miranda has returned to New York and is studying her new MH wrist tattoo when Brady enters the apartment and falls into his mother's arms while squeaking, "Everyone's breaking up." Miranda cooingly assures him she's not going anywhere.
Seema is walking home when she kneels down to pet a cute dog...and in the process spots her stolen Birkin in the nearby shrubbery. She hastily retrieves it and hugs it tightly.
Carrie drops by Lisette's apartment with a box of chocolates...and when Lisette fails to answer the door, she lets herself in with her "emergency" key and finds a listless Lisette laying atop her bed. She dully tells Carrie that every piece of jewelry she made was stolen by the caterer waiter, and that she's going to have to start all over again...and Carrie joins her atop the bed, offers her a chocolate, and says that at some point they'll have to get up and face the world - but not right now.
Later at the recording studio, Carrie is finally able to get through reading Chapter 3 of her book...and as her publisher smiles approvingly, Carrie proudly says, "I did it" and looks contemplatively happy with her accomplishment.
That evening, Carrie and Seema go out to dinner and are sitting at a huge communal table with cute rugby players from Australia at the other end. The players tell the gals they're in New York for two more days, would looooove to hang out with them for the evening, and offer to buy them a round of drinks. Soon the group is happily chatting and chortling amongst each other as Carrie voice-overs, "And just like that...I got Covid."
Womp womp.
Seema is walking home when she kneels down to pet a cute dog...and in the process spots her stolen Birkin in the nearby shrubbery. She hastily retrieves it and hugs it tightly.
Carrie drops by Lisette's apartment with a box of chocolates...and when Lisette fails to answer the door, she lets herself in with her "emergency" key and finds a listless Lisette laying atop her bed. She dully tells Carrie that every piece of jewelry she made was stolen by the caterer waiter, and that she's going to have to start all over again...and Carrie joins her atop the bed, offers her a chocolate, and says that at some point they'll have to get up and face the world - but not right now.
Later at the recording studio, Carrie is finally able to get through reading Chapter 3 of her book...and as her publisher smiles approvingly, Carrie proudly says, "I did it" and looks contemplatively happy with her accomplishment.
That evening, Carrie and Seema go out to dinner and are sitting at a huge communal table with cute rugby players from Australia at the other end. The players tell the gals they're in New York for two more days, would looooove to hang out with them for the evening, and offer to buy them a round of drinks. Soon the group is happily chatting and chortling amongst each other as Carrie voice-overs, "And just like that...I got Covid."
Womp womp.
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- Published on
"Have you seen this missing Chanel?"
"The Real Deal"
Original airdate: 6/22/2023
Episode summary: Charlotte gets upset when Lily sells her designer clothes so that she can buy an electric keyboard. Tony Danza tells Che he can't bring himself to play a Mexican dad on their new TV show. Carrie and Franklyn end their sex-once-a-week arrangement.
Original airdate: 6/22/2023
Episode summary: Charlotte gets upset when Lily sells her designer clothes so that she can buy an electric keyboard. Tony Danza tells Che he can't bring himself to play a Mexican dad on their new TV show. Carrie and Franklyn end their sex-once-a-week arrangement.
Recap: Carrie and Franklyn are at Podcast Headquarters, working on sponsors ads when Carrie stumbles over the words of a new ad for a vaginal wellness product. She attempts it a few more times, but then firmly decides she's too much of a demure cherub to be promoting anything cooch related...which seems strangely off-brand for someone who wrote a weekly raunch column, while also gabbling about sex with her gal pals at every brunch for six entire seasons of Sex and the City.
Over at a high-end hair salon, Seema's nosy stylist asks whassup with her and Zed, so Seema tells him she's done with that 'cause Zed raised too many red flags, one of which is that he lives in the same building as his ex-wife. The stylist chides her for being too picky while simultaneously wondering why she's still alone, and Seema reacts by admonishing him for trying to "shrink" her, then storms out.
Miranda is - visual alert - going down on Che when they get a call from the TV show's head writer. Apparently, the network hates the latest script (big shocker there), so they need to rush over to the studio within the hour. Miranda doesn't let this showbiz emergency deter her from continuing to pleasure Che, who has to shove her head away before scrambling off of the bed to hurriedly put pants on.
After Carrie wraps up another scintillating podcast episode, Chloe enters the room to ask whaddup with her not reading the vagina wellness ad. When Carrie complains that she blushes too hard by the mere notion of pedalling cooch juice, Chloe suggests she rewrite the ad in her own words if need be - but sternly emphasizes that she absolutely 100% neeeeeeeeeds to read it during her next podcast.
Lisa and her daughter (Gabrielle) return home with flowers and a cake to celebrate an imminent visit from Herbert's crotchety and overly judgey ma, Eunice. Herbert chides Lisa for being late and tells her they need to tame Gabrielle's hair pronto 'cause his ma will have a fit if it's not neatly braided. He needlessly reminds his wife and daughter that Eunice grew up in North Carolina, a place where 'how you present yourself' is everything...and despite him being a fully grown man, he somehow hasn't figured out a nice way to tell the old lady to go pee up a rope if she doesn't like the way his daughter wears her hair.
In the next scene, Eunice has arrived in the building, and is rolling her suitcase behind her. Herbert, Lisa, and Gabrielle nervously answer the door and gushingly welcome her, and Eunice responds by complimenting Gabrielle's braided hair and insulting Lisa's outfit...and then leaves behind her suitcase in the hallway for Lisa to roll inside.
Over at a high-end hair salon, Seema's nosy stylist asks whassup with her and Zed, so Seema tells him she's done with that 'cause Zed raised too many red flags, one of which is that he lives in the same building as his ex-wife. The stylist chides her for being too picky while simultaneously wondering why she's still alone, and Seema reacts by admonishing him for trying to "shrink" her, then storms out.
Miranda is - visual alert - going down on Che when they get a call from the TV show's head writer. Apparently, the network hates the latest script (big shocker there), so they need to rush over to the studio within the hour. Miranda doesn't let this showbiz emergency deter her from continuing to pleasure Che, who has to shove her head away before scrambling off of the bed to hurriedly put pants on.
After Carrie wraps up another scintillating podcast episode, Chloe enters the room to ask whaddup with her not reading the vagina wellness ad. When Carrie complains that she blushes too hard by the mere notion of pedalling cooch juice, Chloe suggests she rewrite the ad in her own words if need be - but sternly emphasizes that she absolutely 100% neeeeeeeeeds to read it during her next podcast.
Lisa and her daughter (Gabrielle) return home with flowers and a cake to celebrate an imminent visit from Herbert's crotchety and overly judgey ma, Eunice. Herbert chides Lisa for being late and tells her they need to tame Gabrielle's hair pronto 'cause his ma will have a fit if it's not neatly braided. He needlessly reminds his wife and daughter that Eunice grew up in North Carolina, a place where 'how you present yourself' is everything...and despite him being a fully grown man, he somehow hasn't figured out a nice way to tell the old lady to go pee up a rope if she doesn't like the way his daughter wears her hair.
In the next scene, Eunice has arrived in the building, and is rolling her suitcase behind her. Herbert, Lisa, and Gabrielle nervously answer the door and gushingly welcome her, and Eunice responds by complimenting Gabrielle's braided hair and insulting Lisa's outfit...and then leaves behind her suitcase in the hallway for Lisa to roll inside.
"Welcome to our home, Lady Eunice!"
"One of you looks like total crap today."
Lily tells Charlotte and Harry that the time has come for them to buy her an electric keyboard. When Charlotte points out to Lily that she has an expensive Steinway piano to play on, Lily explains that she wants to take her music in a new direction and get more into songwriting. Rock begs their parents to please give that a hard no - until Lily reminds them how supportive she was about the whole pronoun change storyline last season. Rock concedes their sister's supportiveness and blurts out, "Fuck!" and gets an instant admonishment by Harry and Charlotte, who suggest to Lily that she simply record her music on her iPhone like everyone else. Lily haughtily retorts that, unlike everyone else, she's an artist. Charlotte tells her to just save up the money she makes giving piano lessons...and when Lily whines that that'll take forever, Charlotte breezily tells her to just find a way.
Nya is on the phone with Andre and admits that, yeah, she acted a lot crazy during their last phone conversation - but it was only 'cause she had had too much to drink. Andre insists that nothing has happened with Heidi, then adds a yet...and admits that sometimes he entertains the idea of extramaritally boning other women, though most of the time he'd prefer it if their marriage worked out. He then offers a proposition he considers to be a fair compromise: hire a surrogate to birth them a child. Nya reacts to that shockingly distasteful idea by dramatically dropping her phone onto the floor.
Miranda is at an AA meeting in Los Angeles, sharing with the group how grateful she is to be attending these meetings, given that she otherwise has fuck all to do all day. After the meeting wraps, a young attendee (Allie) approaches Miranda and marvels at her virgin (un-tattooed) arms. She goes on to say that she volunteers to clean up the local beach and would love it she joined her and her fellow environmentalists, and Miranda happily agrees to pitch in and do her part.
Over a drink at a swanky bar, Seema tells Carrie she broke up with her stylist for accusing her of inventing red flags to get out of relationships too quickly...and that that's the reason she's still alone. She explains that, in her defence, she was understandably weirded out when Zed told her he lives in the same building as his ex-wife, and was kind of appalled when he asked his ex to pick up the lunch check during the previous episode. She (probably rightly) translated that to mean he's a bit of a mooch, which makes her uncomfortable, so then Carrie re-directs the conversation to her discomfort at being asked to pitch a vaginal wellness product...despite it being a big part of any podcasters' job to just suck it up and read aloud these types of ads.
Lily is recording a song with her new electric keyboard when Charlotte pops into her bedroom to drop off a basket of laundry. She glances disapprovingly at the keyboard and assumes that Harry caved in and bought it - but Lily explains that she was able to generate the necessary cash by selling her fancy designer wear to a reseller called The Real Deal. Charlotte stares at her in stunned horror, then rushes over to the closet and shrieks, "Oh my God!" when it looks like it's been largely emptied out.
Nya is on the phone with Andre and admits that, yeah, she acted a lot crazy during their last phone conversation - but it was only 'cause she had had too much to drink. Andre insists that nothing has happened with Heidi, then adds a yet...and admits that sometimes he entertains the idea of extramaritally boning other women, though most of the time he'd prefer it if their marriage worked out. He then offers a proposition he considers to be a fair compromise: hire a surrogate to birth them a child. Nya reacts to that shockingly distasteful idea by dramatically dropping her phone onto the floor.
Miranda is at an AA meeting in Los Angeles, sharing with the group how grateful she is to be attending these meetings, given that she otherwise has fuck all to do all day. After the meeting wraps, a young attendee (Allie) approaches Miranda and marvels at her virgin (un-tattooed) arms. She goes on to say that she volunteers to clean up the local beach and would love it she joined her and her fellow environmentalists, and Miranda happily agrees to pitch in and do her part.
Over a drink at a swanky bar, Seema tells Carrie she broke up with her stylist for accusing her of inventing red flags to get out of relationships too quickly...and that that's the reason she's still alone. She explains that, in her defence, she was understandably weirded out when Zed told her he lives in the same building as his ex-wife, and was kind of appalled when he asked his ex to pick up the lunch check during the previous episode. She (probably rightly) translated that to mean he's a bit of a mooch, which makes her uncomfortable, so then Carrie re-directs the conversation to her discomfort at being asked to pitch a vaginal wellness product...despite it being a big part of any podcasters' job to just suck it up and read aloud these types of ads.
Lily is recording a song with her new electric keyboard when Charlotte pops into her bedroom to drop off a basket of laundry. She glances disapprovingly at the keyboard and assumes that Harry caved in and bought it - but Lily explains that she was able to generate the necessary cash by selling her fancy designer wear to a reseller called The Real Deal. Charlotte stares at her in stunned horror, then rushes over to the closet and shrieks, "Oh my God!" when it looks like it's been largely emptied out.
"I sold my designer clothes so I could record sad songs with my new keyboard."
"I'm appalled, but also impressed by your callous resourcefulness."
Over lunch, Charlotte laments to Anthony and Lisa the sneakiness of The Real Deal, a store that apparently only ever deals in cash. She adds that she's so furious about them looting her daughter's designer wardrobe that she's prepared to sue - but Anthony points out that a lawsuit would likely go nowhere, given that Lily voluntarily sold her stuff to them. As Charlotte fumes, Lisa orders drinks for the two of them, then explains that she's about to start day drinking 'cause her curmudgeonly mother-in-law is having her sorority sisters over to the apartment for afternoon tea. She grumbles about how the old gal constantly makes comments that "cut like a knife" ... but Charlotte can barely mumble a sympathetic retort 'cause she's still too upset about the loss of Lily's designer clothes, in particular a pink Chanel dress she once wore during a piano recital.
Herbert exits his building with Gabrielle and her little friend - but things take a dark turn when he's unable to hail a cab. When one of the cabs is stopped at a traffic light, Herbert pounds on the hood and demands he let him in, and warns that what he's doing is illegal - just as Eunice and her sorority sisters suddenly appear across the street to witness the spectacle. Eunice hastily reroutes her friends in the opposite direction and denies that the man screaming at a cabbie is her son...and also ignores Gabrielle when she's like, "Hey grandma!" Ouch.
Over at Casa Bradshaw, Franklyn tells Carrie they really really need to rewrite the vaginal wellness ad, and does his best to brainstorm various approaches. Carrie responds by laughing at his ideas and refusing to just delve into the task like any reasonable, grown up woman would...and it remains unclear why Franklyn doesn't just pack up his computer and hightail it out of there.
Over in the Goldenblatt penthouse's dining room, Harry is dismayed that both Charlotte and Anthony are too busy fiddling with their phones to engage with him in conversation. Anthony explains that he's busy looking at beefy guy pics 'cause he needs to recruit a new hottie for his bread store, and Charlotte's excuse is that she's looking into how to get The Real Deal to apologize for raiding their daughter's closet and also return the pink Chanel dress. A few seconds later, Rock enters the room and announces that Lily is requesting their presence in the other room so that she can perform a poignantly morose song.
Lily self-piteously croons about the power of privilege and always having to be the good girl who's "not allowed to be me" ... and Harry reacts by rolling his eyes, while Charlotte furrows her brows concernedly and stares contemplatively into space.
Eunice drops by the master bedroom to chide Herbert for pounding on the hood of a cab like a deranged man...and a few seconds later, Lisa emerges from the bathroom and asks whassup. Herbert tries to explain the situation - but his ma cuts him off and says the context is irrelevant, chastises him for surrendering his dignity, and reminds him that his father faced a whole lot more prejudice but never so much as loosened his tie over it. She then insults Lisa's head wrap before huffing out of the room...and Lisa tells Herbert she agrees with his ma, adding, "When we go off, they win" and cautions that one day he could pound on the wrong car and get himself into a boatload of trouble.
Che wraps up their schtick at The Comedy Store, then invites Tony Danza onto the stage...and the audience gives him an enthusiastic round of applause.
Late that night, Carrie and Franklyn are continuing their work on the rewrite for the vaginal wellness product. Miranda calls for a quick hello - but then has to hastily end the conversation when she sees Che and Tony Danza walking in her direction. Tony warmly introduces himself and suggests that the three of them have dinner together tomorrow night.
When Carrie returns to the bedroom, Franklyn tells her he just heard from Chloe, who once again sternly emphasized that reading the vagina wellness ad on the air is a dealbreaker. Carrie shrugs disinterestedly, but then tells Franklyn she'll just bang something out on her own...and ambles over to the writing desk where she once wrote her weekly 'I couldn't help but wonder' musings.
Seema returns to her favorite salon sporting a messily disheveled 'do. The stylist gasps at her unsightly locks and is all, "Ack! Who did this to you?", so she sheepishly tells them it was the butchers at Easy Blow on 68th Street. She then informs him that his lecture about her life decisions got her thinking she should get back together with Zed, and admits to being too thin-skinned about criticism. The stylist earnestly explains that he gives all of his clients harsh (but well meaning) advice, then urges her into his chair so he can properly attend to her rat's nest.
Herbert exits his building with Gabrielle and her little friend - but things take a dark turn when he's unable to hail a cab. When one of the cabs is stopped at a traffic light, Herbert pounds on the hood and demands he let him in, and warns that what he's doing is illegal - just as Eunice and her sorority sisters suddenly appear across the street to witness the spectacle. Eunice hastily reroutes her friends in the opposite direction and denies that the man screaming at a cabbie is her son...and also ignores Gabrielle when she's like, "Hey grandma!" Ouch.
Over at Casa Bradshaw, Franklyn tells Carrie they really really need to rewrite the vaginal wellness ad, and does his best to brainstorm various approaches. Carrie responds by laughing at his ideas and refusing to just delve into the task like any reasonable, grown up woman would...and it remains unclear why Franklyn doesn't just pack up his computer and hightail it out of there.
Over in the Goldenblatt penthouse's dining room, Harry is dismayed that both Charlotte and Anthony are too busy fiddling with their phones to engage with him in conversation. Anthony explains that he's busy looking at beefy guy pics 'cause he needs to recruit a new hottie for his bread store, and Charlotte's excuse is that she's looking into how to get The Real Deal to apologize for raiding their daughter's closet and also return the pink Chanel dress. A few seconds later, Rock enters the room and announces that Lily is requesting their presence in the other room so that she can perform a poignantly morose song.
Lily self-piteously croons about the power of privilege and always having to be the good girl who's "not allowed to be me" ... and Harry reacts by rolling his eyes, while Charlotte furrows her brows concernedly and stares contemplatively into space.
Eunice drops by the master bedroom to chide Herbert for pounding on the hood of a cab like a deranged man...and a few seconds later, Lisa emerges from the bathroom and asks whassup. Herbert tries to explain the situation - but his ma cuts him off and says the context is irrelevant, chastises him for surrendering his dignity, and reminds him that his father faced a whole lot more prejudice but never so much as loosened his tie over it. She then insults Lisa's head wrap before huffing out of the room...and Lisa tells Herbert she agrees with his ma, adding, "When we go off, they win" and cautions that one day he could pound on the wrong car and get himself into a boatload of trouble.
Che wraps up their schtick at The Comedy Store, then invites Tony Danza onto the stage...and the audience gives him an enthusiastic round of applause.
Late that night, Carrie and Franklyn are continuing their work on the rewrite for the vaginal wellness product. Miranda calls for a quick hello - but then has to hastily end the conversation when she sees Che and Tony Danza walking in her direction. Tony warmly introduces himself and suggests that the three of them have dinner together tomorrow night.
When Carrie returns to the bedroom, Franklyn tells her he just heard from Chloe, who once again sternly emphasized that reading the vagina wellness ad on the air is a dealbreaker. Carrie shrugs disinterestedly, but then tells Franklyn she'll just bang something out on her own...and ambles over to the writing desk where she once wrote her weekly 'I couldn't help but wonder' musings.
Seema returns to her favorite salon sporting a messily disheveled 'do. The stylist gasps at her unsightly locks and is all, "Ack! Who did this to you?", so she sheepishly tells them it was the butchers at Easy Blow on 68th Street. She then informs him that his lecture about her life decisions got her thinking she should get back together with Zed, and admits to being too thin-skinned about criticism. The stylist earnestly explains that he gives all of his clients harsh (but well meaning) advice, then urges her into his chair so he can properly attend to her rat's nest.
"Who has done this to you?"
"Your less nosy, less talented replacement."
Miranda is helping Allie and her environmentalist friends clean up the beach when she gets a call from Nya, who reports that right now she's angrily stuffing Andre's belongings into a hefty bag 'cause of how outraged she is about his surrogate suggestion. A few seconds later, Allie bounds over to tell Miranda that she has to leave early, and Miranda assures her it's no problem and that she'll just call an Uber to get home.
Charlotte and Carrie arrive at the nearest The Real Deal store, and Charlotte whips out her phone to show the vapid store clerk (Eden) a photo of Lily's Chanel dress, and admonishes her employer for cleaning out the entire designer wardrobe of a minor. Eden points out that the store isn't a bar that's banned to underage kids...and when Charlotte asks her if the pink Chanel dress is at this location, Eden just stares at her blankly and mumbles, "Dunno." Carrie, meanwhile, is browsing the store and finds a wonderful pair of boots she's like to add to her mammoth footwear collection.
Miranda spirals into a panic when she realizes she's lost her phone amid all the beach garbage...and after sifting through piles of seaweed and trash, she approaches a pair of friendly surfers to ask if she can borrow their phone. One of them obliges, and Miranda immediately phones Carrie to get Che's number...which she never thought to memorize for an emergency situation.
In the next scene, Che gets Miranda's desperate phone call, explaining that she lost her phone at the beach and needs a ride home. Che complains that it's rush hour...meaning there's no way they'll be able to pick her up and also make it to dinner with Tony Danza in time. They think hard for a few seconds, then tell Miranda they're going to send someone to fetch her.
Eden tells Charlotte that after checking The Real Deal's inventory database, she learned that the pink Chanel dress is currently in a warehouse - but that Charlotte won't be able to buy it back 'cause it's on hold for a customer. Charlotte responds by threatening her with legal action...and Carrie jumps in and hastily pulls her away and says that clearly Eden isn't going to be able to withstand much more of her brow-beating. Charlotte sheepishly agrees that her behavior regarding Lily's Chanel dress has been disproportionately idiotic, then laments the fact that her daughter seems to be rejecting everything she's ever given her. Carrie gently suggests that perhaps Lily has simply outgrown the notion of wearing little girl dresses...then likens this to her Sex and the City podcast, which she's not sure fits into her life anymore. Charlotte chews on that insight for a few seconds, then decides she's satisfied with the memory of the pretty pink dress...and Carrie's like, "Hurray!" 'cause she really really wants to buy the boots she's been clutching ever since entering the store.
A purple pickup truck arrives at the beach to pick up Miranda, and the driver introduces himself as Lyle, aka Che's husband (but in name only, 'cause neither of the two ever got around to filing for divorce).
Across town, Tony Danza tells Che he absolutely cannot play a Mexican dad, 'cause he's Italian. He explains that his hard core fan base is already giving him pushback on social media, and that he has major anxiety about being "cancelled". [Sounds to me like 1) he's in desperate need of a spine, and 2) his hard core fans are in desperate need of a life.] Che reminds him that their real dad is Mexican and their real mom is Irish - but Tony Danza says he spoke to the bigwigs at ABC, and they unilaterally decided that the Irish TV mom is now dead and will be replaced by a Mexican grandmother. As Che stares back at him unhappily, Tony natters about how much he wants the show to succeed - though not with him as a Mexican.
Charlotte and Carrie arrive at the nearest The Real Deal store, and Charlotte whips out her phone to show the vapid store clerk (Eden) a photo of Lily's Chanel dress, and admonishes her employer for cleaning out the entire designer wardrobe of a minor. Eden points out that the store isn't a bar that's banned to underage kids...and when Charlotte asks her if the pink Chanel dress is at this location, Eden just stares at her blankly and mumbles, "Dunno." Carrie, meanwhile, is browsing the store and finds a wonderful pair of boots she's like to add to her mammoth footwear collection.
Miranda spirals into a panic when she realizes she's lost her phone amid all the beach garbage...and after sifting through piles of seaweed and trash, she approaches a pair of friendly surfers to ask if she can borrow their phone. One of them obliges, and Miranda immediately phones Carrie to get Che's number...which she never thought to memorize for an emergency situation.
In the next scene, Che gets Miranda's desperate phone call, explaining that she lost her phone at the beach and needs a ride home. Che complains that it's rush hour...meaning there's no way they'll be able to pick her up and also make it to dinner with Tony Danza in time. They think hard for a few seconds, then tell Miranda they're going to send someone to fetch her.
Eden tells Charlotte that after checking The Real Deal's inventory database, she learned that the pink Chanel dress is currently in a warehouse - but that Charlotte won't be able to buy it back 'cause it's on hold for a customer. Charlotte responds by threatening her with legal action...and Carrie jumps in and hastily pulls her away and says that clearly Eden isn't going to be able to withstand much more of her brow-beating. Charlotte sheepishly agrees that her behavior regarding Lily's Chanel dress has been disproportionately idiotic, then laments the fact that her daughter seems to be rejecting everything she's ever given her. Carrie gently suggests that perhaps Lily has simply outgrown the notion of wearing little girl dresses...then likens this to her Sex and the City podcast, which she's not sure fits into her life anymore. Charlotte chews on that insight for a few seconds, then decides she's satisfied with the memory of the pretty pink dress...and Carrie's like, "Hurray!" 'cause she really really wants to buy the boots she's been clutching ever since entering the store.
A purple pickup truck arrives at the beach to pick up Miranda, and the driver introduces himself as Lyle, aka Che's husband (but in name only, 'cause neither of the two ever got around to filing for divorce).
Across town, Tony Danza tells Che he absolutely cannot play a Mexican dad, 'cause he's Italian. He explains that his hard core fan base is already giving him pushback on social media, and that he has major anxiety about being "cancelled". [Sounds to me like 1) he's in desperate need of a spine, and 2) his hard core fans are in desperate need of a life.] Che reminds him that their real dad is Mexican and their real mom is Irish - but Tony Danza says he spoke to the bigwigs at ABC, and they unilaterally decided that the Irish TV mom is now dead and will be replaced by a Mexican grandmother. As Che stares back at him unhappily, Tony natters about how much he wants the show to succeed - though not with him as a Mexican.
"Let's transform your Irish mother to a Mexican abuela."
"No me gusta."
Seema meets up with Zed for dinner and explains that she temporarily dumped him 'cause she "got lost" in her head for a minute. Zed's all, "OK kewl" and stupidly proceeds to make a proposition: he wants them to go into business together and each invest 100K in a Manhattan nightclub. Seema shoots him the stink-eye and calls that "an immediate red flag" ... and when Zed argues that it's a legitimate investment, she retorts that she's only interested in investing in herself. She then credits herself for being right about him all along, then gets up and sashays out of the restaurant.
Miranda is sitting morosely by the backyard fire pit when Che returns home that evening. She irritably tells Che she didn't even know their phone number...and also had no idea they were still married. Che explains that they and Kyle are only technically still married, since both are too lazy to actually embark upon the divorce process. They urge Miranda to not be mad, then shares that Tony Danza wants their TV character to be Mexican-Italian, which they're not thrilled about [though it's largely immaterial, since the show ends up being a predictably dismal failure].
Carrie and Franklyn arrive at Podcast Headquarters and are stunned to see everyone exiting the building carrying their belongings in cardboard boxes. Chloe angrily informs Carrie that because she so stubbornly refused to pedal the vagina wellness product, everyone is out of work and the podcasting studio was sold to Apple. She glares at Carrie while growling, "At your next job, don't be so precious about your pussy."
While ambling out of the building, Carrie asks Franklyn if he'd be interested in doing the Sex and the City podcast elsewhere, and he says he'd prefer to not take the podcast or their Thursday romps any further. He explains that the day might come when he wants more than a meaningless hookup once a week, so he figures he'd better get out of this unholy sex coupling now before it messes too much with his head. Carrie just kind of shrugs, thanks him for the sex in the city - both in the literal and podcasting sense - and cheerfully saunters off.
Miranda is sitting morosely by the backyard fire pit when Che returns home that evening. She irritably tells Che she didn't even know their phone number...and also had no idea they were still married. Che explains that they and Kyle are only technically still married, since both are too lazy to actually embark upon the divorce process. They urge Miranda to not be mad, then shares that Tony Danza wants their TV character to be Mexican-Italian, which they're not thrilled about [though it's largely immaterial, since the show ends up being a predictably dismal failure].
Carrie and Franklyn arrive at Podcast Headquarters and are stunned to see everyone exiting the building carrying their belongings in cardboard boxes. Chloe angrily informs Carrie that because she so stubbornly refused to pedal the vagina wellness product, everyone is out of work and the podcasting studio was sold to Apple. She glares at Carrie while growling, "At your next job, don't be so precious about your pussy."
While ambling out of the building, Carrie asks Franklyn if he'd be interested in doing the Sex and the City podcast elsewhere, and he says he'd prefer to not take the podcast or their Thursday romps any further. He explains that the day might come when he wants more than a meaningless hookup once a week, so he figures he'd better get out of this unholy sex coupling now before it messes too much with his head. Carrie just kind of shrugs, thanks him for the sex in the city - both in the literal and podcasting sense - and cheerfully saunters off.
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- Published on
Carrie's Met Gala dress looks entirely appropriate for the occasion
"Met Cute"
Original airdate: 6/22/2023
Episode summary: Miranda worries that her relationship with Che is based solely on sex. Seema breaks it off with Zed when she learns that he lives in close proximity of his ex-wife. Carrie repurposes her voluminous wedding gown as a Met Gala costume.
Original airdate: 6/22/2023
Episode summary: Miranda worries that her relationship with Che is based solely on sex. Seema breaks it off with Zed when she learns that he lives in close proximity of his ex-wife. Carrie repurposes her voluminous wedding gown as a Met Gala costume.
Recap: Season 2 [of a reboot I foolishly assumed wouldn't need to exist past Season 1] begins with each of the gals emerging from their bathrooms, and then sexily sashaying towards the significant others in their lives - except for Nya, who glumly ambles into her living room and turns on the TV while the camera pans over to a framed photo of her and Andre during happier times.
The next morning, Franklyn is lounging in bed with Carrie, watching a cooking show on his Macbook, despite his general lack of interest in actually cooking anything himself. Carrie admits that she too barely cooks...and that, during her younger years, she once considered taking the time to poach an egg - but was always too busy writing her raunch column and/or skanking around town. Franklyn points out that it's never too late to learn how to boil water and eat something other than restaurant food, and she agrees...and decides that since she's mostly unburdened with any kind of job these days, she has more than enough time to make herself a home-cooked breakfast.
In the next scene, Carrie is in her kitchen poaching eggs when Seema calls to ask if she received the caviar she sent (as a thank you to Carrie for taking her as her plus one to the Met Gala). After that, Franklyn emerges from the bedroom and declines a poached egg 'cause he has to get to work - just as Charlotte drops by unexpectedly carrying her dog (?) to show Carrie the sketch of her weird looking Met Gala outfit. Carrie introduces her to Franklyn...and once he's safely out of earshot, Charlotte's all, "Whoooooooo was that?!" and is stunned to learn that not only has Carrie been hooking up with her podcast producer, she's also using her stove to prepare edible food items.
Lisa is in her closet/home office, busily juggling work and kids stuff when Herbert gives her an amorous canoodle. She tells him he's going to have to put a pin in that for the moment 'cause she's laser focused on getting a 25K grant to finance her latest documentary. A befuddled Herbert reminds her that he's rich enough to write her a check for such a piddly amount, so Lisa reminds him that she's an established documentarian who can surely secure the cash needed to get this project completed.
While ambling on the Upper East Side, Carrie tells Charlotte that her hookups with Franklyn are casual and strictly about having sex on Thursdays. Charlotte blurts out, "How big is his dick?" (in the spirit of Samantha), then warns, "Don't give up your power by sexing with a colleague" (in the spirit of Miranda) ... a weakly executed shoutout to the many brunches the foursome used to regularly enjoy on Sex and the City.
Over in Los Angeles, Miranda is about to slip into a deprivation tank (as part of her experimental new Californian self) when Nya calls to glumly report that she continues to be depressed about Andre being on tour...blah blah. Miranda chides her one-person pity party and urges her to get out of the house and have some fun.
Che, meanwhile, is not enjoying a clothing fitting in the costume department of their new comedy show. They nix the idea of a dramatic blue hair stripe (to match that of their openly queer writer), along with wearing anything that's not jeans and a sloppy t-shirt.
Miranda quickly tires of the deprivation tank and struggles to open the lid...and when she finally manages to climb out, she miserably mutters, "Fuck the new me."
Carrie is out for a drink with Jackie (her former podcasting friend) ... and the two chat about how Jackie's wife Smoke is designing her (Carrie's) Met Gala ensemble. Jackie makes it clear how much he'd loooooooove to attend the Met, but Carrie says she has no way of acquiring any more tickets than the two she somehow managed to score.
While Lisa and Charlotte are being fitted for their Met Gala gowns, Lisa complains about Herbert offering to write a check to finance her latest documentary in order to free her up to spend more time taking care of him and kids. Charlotte clucks sympathetically and complains that Harry periodically urges her to get back into the working world, but at the same time worries that if she's not playing the role of mother/homemaker every second of every day, the household might fall apart. Anthony, who's been sitting on a nearby couch listening to this inanity, growls at them to shut up about their "rich people's problems". A few seconds later - case in point - Lisa gets a call informing her that her nanny is sick, which means she's going to have to cut the fitting short and pick up her daughter from school. After she rushes off, Anthony compliments the way Charlotte's boobs look in her tight-fitting corset thing, then declares that he, on the other hand, is ignoring the Met's 'veiled beauty' theme and plans to just show up in a regular tux. He gushes that he's sooooo excited to attend the ball (as Charlotte's plus one), punning, "God I loooove balls."
The next morning, Franklyn is lounging in bed with Carrie, watching a cooking show on his Macbook, despite his general lack of interest in actually cooking anything himself. Carrie admits that she too barely cooks...and that, during her younger years, she once considered taking the time to poach an egg - but was always too busy writing her raunch column and/or skanking around town. Franklyn points out that it's never too late to learn how to boil water and eat something other than restaurant food, and she agrees...and decides that since she's mostly unburdened with any kind of job these days, she has more than enough time to make herself a home-cooked breakfast.
In the next scene, Carrie is in her kitchen poaching eggs when Seema calls to ask if she received the caviar she sent (as a thank you to Carrie for taking her as her plus one to the Met Gala). After that, Franklyn emerges from the bedroom and declines a poached egg 'cause he has to get to work - just as Charlotte drops by unexpectedly carrying her dog (?) to show Carrie the sketch of her weird looking Met Gala outfit. Carrie introduces her to Franklyn...and once he's safely out of earshot, Charlotte's all, "Whoooooooo was that?!" and is stunned to learn that not only has Carrie been hooking up with her podcast producer, she's also using her stove to prepare edible food items.
Lisa is in her closet/home office, busily juggling work and kids stuff when Herbert gives her an amorous canoodle. She tells him he's going to have to put a pin in that for the moment 'cause she's laser focused on getting a 25K grant to finance her latest documentary. A befuddled Herbert reminds her that he's rich enough to write her a check for such a piddly amount, so Lisa reminds him that she's an established documentarian who can surely secure the cash needed to get this project completed.
While ambling on the Upper East Side, Carrie tells Charlotte that her hookups with Franklyn are casual and strictly about having sex on Thursdays. Charlotte blurts out, "How big is his dick?" (in the spirit of Samantha), then warns, "Don't give up your power by sexing with a colleague" (in the spirit of Miranda) ... a weakly executed shoutout to the many brunches the foursome used to regularly enjoy on Sex and the City.
Over in Los Angeles, Miranda is about to slip into a deprivation tank (as part of her experimental new Californian self) when Nya calls to glumly report that she continues to be depressed about Andre being on tour...blah blah. Miranda chides her one-person pity party and urges her to get out of the house and have some fun.
Che, meanwhile, is not enjoying a clothing fitting in the costume department of their new comedy show. They nix the idea of a dramatic blue hair stripe (to match that of their openly queer writer), along with wearing anything that's not jeans and a sloppy t-shirt.
Miranda quickly tires of the deprivation tank and struggles to open the lid...and when she finally manages to climb out, she miserably mutters, "Fuck the new me."
Carrie is out for a drink with Jackie (her former podcasting friend) ... and the two chat about how Jackie's wife Smoke is designing her (Carrie's) Met Gala ensemble. Jackie makes it clear how much he'd loooooooove to attend the Met, but Carrie says she has no way of acquiring any more tickets than the two she somehow managed to score.
While Lisa and Charlotte are being fitted for their Met Gala gowns, Lisa complains about Herbert offering to write a check to finance her latest documentary in order to free her up to spend more time taking care of him and kids. Charlotte clucks sympathetically and complains that Harry periodically urges her to get back into the working world, but at the same time worries that if she's not playing the role of mother/homemaker every second of every day, the household might fall apart. Anthony, who's been sitting on a nearby couch listening to this inanity, growls at them to shut up about their "rich people's problems". A few seconds later - case in point - Lisa gets a call informing her that her nanny is sick, which means she's going to have to cut the fitting short and pick up her daughter from school. After she rushes off, Anthony compliments the way Charlotte's boobs look in her tight-fitting corset thing, then declares that he, on the other hand, is ignoring the Met's 'veiled beauty' theme and plans to just show up in a regular tux. He gushes that he's sooooo excited to attend the ball (as Charlotte's plus one), punning, "God I loooove balls."
"I'm showing at the gala up in a run-of-the-mill tuxedo."
"Since I'm wearing a corset at a special fitting for my costume, that notion doesn't compute."
Later on Park Avenue, Lily and Rock inform Charlotte of a serious, First World problem: Harry assumes he's escorting her to the Met Gala (and seems to have no idea that Anthony is her date). As Charlotte digests this troubling development, Harry enters the room clutching a top hat while excitedly nattering that since he wasn't able to go to his own prom [like, decades ago], he's really really looking forward to being part of this iconic gala with famous celebrities...and I guess during this episode we'll have to suspend reality and assume that Anna Wintour has zero problem making all of their abrupt changes to the guest list.
While recording her weekly podcast, Carrie answers a question about how to know when casual sex steps into 'relationship territory'. Carrie advises the caller to carefully monitor the situation until such time as her bed partner steps out of the pattern they've established for themselves, which she can interpret as a signal that their coupling up is about more than just sex. From the control booth, Franklyn smiles approvingly...and after the podcast wraps up, he invites Carrie to be his date at a rooftop party on Tuesday night. She breezily chirps, "Sure!", but afterward stares concernedly into space.
Miranda is - visual alert - trying to navigate a strap-on when Che gets a call from Carrie, who needs advice on how to deal with Franklyn wanting to go beyond the 'sex on Thursdays' arrangement she'd prefer to stick to. Che points out that some relationships are only meant to be physical - which seems to visibly depress Miranda as she fumbles with the strap-on - and that she should prolly talk about this with Franklyn, 'cause only he knows what's going on inside his head. When Che ends the call, Miranda tosses the strap-on aside and suggests coming to their Comedy Store performance after a nice dinner, and Che's like, "Sure, why the hell not?"
Zed tells Seema that his son will be in town next Monday (the same day as the Met Gala) and that he'd like her to lunch with him, along with his ex-wife. Seema says she'd like that too, then leans in for a smooch.
Over a fancy lunch out, Seema complains to the gals (+ Anthony) about the "sudden lurch" in her relationship with Zed, explaining that she agreed to lunch with him, his ex-wife, and son...and is assuming the lunch will run too late for her to adequately primp for the Met Gala. Anthony makes it clear he couldn't give a rat's ass about her plight and changes the subject to Carrie's sex life, so Carrie explains to the group that, yep, she's having 'exit out of grief' sex every Thursday - but that her hookup just invited her out on a Tuesday and she felt as though she had no choice but to say yes. Anthony brusquely tells her to simply not show up 'cause generally men don't react emotionally to personal rejection (citing a disappointing blow job he recently administered). Charlotte perks up at that window of opportunity and is like, "Speaking of rejection.." and informs Anthony that he's out as her plus one for the Met Gala 'cause Harry assumes he's attending...and as Anthony stews over that, Carrie tells him that since Seema is choosing Zed over the Met Gala, he can be her plus one. Anthony pissily says he'll consider it.
Nya is sitting at a bar reading when a smoothly handsome gentleman named Toussaint approaches her. He chats her up and suggests ordering a sumptuous piece of chocolate cake to top off the dinner she tells him she just had. She politely declines while pointing at her wedding ring, so he shrugs, says it was nice to meet her, and glides across the restaurant...leaving Nya staring after him longingly.
Che wraps up their Comedy Store performance...and a few seconds later, Miranda rushes over, hugs them, and wankingly gushes about how super awesome the set was. Che coldly says her hug just now was a surprise and a nuisance, then bitchily snaps that they don't like being hugged while at work. Miranda looks momentarily crestfallen at the callous reaction, then pitifully insists, "You were sooooooo good."
While recording her weekly podcast, Carrie answers a question about how to know when casual sex steps into 'relationship territory'. Carrie advises the caller to carefully monitor the situation until such time as her bed partner steps out of the pattern they've established for themselves, which she can interpret as a signal that their coupling up is about more than just sex. From the control booth, Franklyn smiles approvingly...and after the podcast wraps up, he invites Carrie to be his date at a rooftop party on Tuesday night. She breezily chirps, "Sure!", but afterward stares concernedly into space.
Miranda is - visual alert - trying to navigate a strap-on when Che gets a call from Carrie, who needs advice on how to deal with Franklyn wanting to go beyond the 'sex on Thursdays' arrangement she'd prefer to stick to. Che points out that some relationships are only meant to be physical - which seems to visibly depress Miranda as she fumbles with the strap-on - and that she should prolly talk about this with Franklyn, 'cause only he knows what's going on inside his head. When Che ends the call, Miranda tosses the strap-on aside and suggests coming to their Comedy Store performance after a nice dinner, and Che's like, "Sure, why the hell not?"
Zed tells Seema that his son will be in town next Monday (the same day as the Met Gala) and that he'd like her to lunch with him, along with his ex-wife. Seema says she'd like that too, then leans in for a smooch.
Over a fancy lunch out, Seema complains to the gals (+ Anthony) about the "sudden lurch" in her relationship with Zed, explaining that she agreed to lunch with him, his ex-wife, and son...and is assuming the lunch will run too late for her to adequately primp for the Met Gala. Anthony makes it clear he couldn't give a rat's ass about her plight and changes the subject to Carrie's sex life, so Carrie explains to the group that, yep, she's having 'exit out of grief' sex every Thursday - but that her hookup just invited her out on a Tuesday and she felt as though she had no choice but to say yes. Anthony brusquely tells her to simply not show up 'cause generally men don't react emotionally to personal rejection (citing a disappointing blow job he recently administered). Charlotte perks up at that window of opportunity and is like, "Speaking of rejection.." and informs Anthony that he's out as her plus one for the Met Gala 'cause Harry assumes he's attending...and as Anthony stews over that, Carrie tells him that since Seema is choosing Zed over the Met Gala, he can be her plus one. Anthony pissily says he'll consider it.
Nya is sitting at a bar reading when a smoothly handsome gentleman named Toussaint approaches her. He chats her up and suggests ordering a sumptuous piece of chocolate cake to top off the dinner she tells him she just had. She politely declines while pointing at her wedding ring, so he shrugs, says it was nice to meet her, and glides across the restaurant...leaving Nya staring after him longingly.
Che wraps up their Comedy Store performance...and a few seconds later, Miranda rushes over, hugs them, and wankingly gushes about how super awesome the set was. Che coldly says her hug just now was a surprise and a nuisance, then bitchily snaps that they don't like being hugged while at work. Miranda looks momentarily crestfallen at the callous reaction, then pitifully insists, "You were sooooooo good."
"Don't fucking touch me when I'm at work."
"Is it OK to stare at you longingly?"
Nya is wearing a sexy teddy while she FaceTimes with Andre, who hastily tells her to stop the sex talk asap 'cause he's not alone. When Nya demands to know who else is in the room, Andre pans his phone over to where one of the backup singers (Heidi) is strumming a guitar. Andre explains that he's just helping her with her music, and Nya angrily says that she had the opportunity to eat chocolate cake with a total hottie, but denied herself his company out of loyalty to their marriage. She barks, "Good bye!" before angrily hanging up.
Jackie and Smoke arrive at Carrie's apartment with her Met Gala outfit...and Smoke sheepishly informs Carrie that two of her seamstresses are out with the flu. The good news is that the teal cape is finished, but not the actual dress...and despite being a clothing designer, she has no idea how to do alterations. In the next scene, Carrie is wearing Smoke's first draft of the dress, which really just looks like a very tall, shapeless roll of striped blue fabric.
Smoke is anxiously working the sewing machine while Carrie and Jackie hang out in the bedroom area. Jackie remarks on how the apartment smells like Franklyn, and Carrie points at the jacket he accidentally left behind and explains that they hook up every Thursday - then emphasizes that they're not a couple. Jackie raises his brows at that last thing and asks, "Does Franklyn know that?" and points out that they now live in an era where men have feelings, and can be dumb about knowing whether or not a hookup is a relationship (or vice versa).
Back in Los Angeles, Che is sitting up in bed, studying lines and rebuffing Miranda when she attempts a snuggle. Miranda backs off and remarks on how something has shifted in their relationship. Che admits that, yep, something has definitely changed...then confesses that they're on a restrictive diet 'cause the costume department at the TV studio complained about too much belly fat. Che sadly explains that this sudden poor body image is the reason they've been pushing her (Miranda) away...and Miranda reacts by spooning them, confesses that she was frightened their relationship was based purely on sex, and gushes about how they're the most beautiful person in the history of people. Che agrees, then cackles, "Fuck TV! Let's get a pizza."
Carrie calls Franklyn to tell him she's changed her mind about Tuesday's rooftop party 'cause she'd prefer to stick to their regularly scheduled, Thursday-only romps. Franklyn's like, "Got it. You're not into having a relationship" and says he's A-OK with limiting their person-to-person contact with hitting the sheets on Thursdays.
While lunching with Mrs. Zed and the son, Seema is dismayed to learn that Zed lives in the lower floor of his ex-wife's house. Seema wastes no time getting up and racing out of the restaurant...and is about to climb into her car when Zed rushes out after her and explains that his place has its own entrance. An unimpressed Seema replies, "This feels like a mess...and I'm not missing the Met for a mess." Zed chides her for being "such an American", and she agrees that, yep, she's definitely an American who's off to the Met, then orders her driver to hit the gas. LOL.
Carrie calls Anthony to break the news that Seema is back on as her plus one for the Met Gala...and Anthony reacts by cartoonishly glowering in disappointment.
At Casa Wexley, Herbert ogles a scantily clad Lisa while she frets about her never-ending documentary edits. He gives her a from behind canoodle and offers to - hmm mmm - "relax" her...and she says that since she's been primped for the Met Gala, he's welcome to do his magic - but only from the waist down.
Lily and Rock are enlisted to pull Charlotte's corset laces tighter so that she can squeeze herself into what I thought ended up being an unflattering Met Gala outfit, and that's all I'm going to write 'bout that.
Lisa and Herbert exit their building, all gussied up for the gala. Herbert is in a regular tux, while Lisa has draped herself into a super flowy red dress with a strange wire and feathery headpiece that appears to obstruct her ability to see anything in front of her. While standing on the curb, she suddenly remembers that while in the throes of the orgasmic pleasure Herbert was indulging her in earlier, she forgot to book the van to transport them to the event. She tells them they're just going to have to walk the ten blocks...and Herbert trails behind her, clutching her flowy dress veil.
Harry complains about how uncomfortable his boots are...and when Charlotte chooses this moment to break the news that he's not going to be anywhere near the red carpet where all the celebrities pose for the cameras, he decides there isn't any real point in going.
Anthony is eating popcorn in front of the TV when Charlotte calls, admits she made a huge mistake choosing her husband over her favorite gay, and begs him to accompany her to the Met Gala. Anthony perks up and says he can be dressed and ready in half a second.
Seema exits her building in her Met costume, a champagne-colored hooded ensemble...and for whatever reason she's surrounded by an entourage of friends/hangers-on (?), who gush over her and photograph her until she climbs into her car.
A stressed out Smoke erupts at Jackie for being annoyingly sunny during her darkest hour as a painfully inept clothing designer...and after he dejectedly takes "a Smoke break", Smoke pleads with Carrie to scour her closet for something fabulous to wear with the teal cape. Carrie's thoughts immediately go to the enormous wedding gown she got rejected in by Big at the altar, and sadly says that the monstrous frock doesn't bring back good memories...but that since the And Just Like That.. writers seem to be big on shout-outs from her fashion of yore, she's willing to be a good sport and put it on.
Jackie and Smoke arrive at Carrie's apartment with her Met Gala outfit...and Smoke sheepishly informs Carrie that two of her seamstresses are out with the flu. The good news is that the teal cape is finished, but not the actual dress...and despite being a clothing designer, she has no idea how to do alterations. In the next scene, Carrie is wearing Smoke's first draft of the dress, which really just looks like a very tall, shapeless roll of striped blue fabric.
Smoke is anxiously working the sewing machine while Carrie and Jackie hang out in the bedroom area. Jackie remarks on how the apartment smells like Franklyn, and Carrie points at the jacket he accidentally left behind and explains that they hook up every Thursday - then emphasizes that they're not a couple. Jackie raises his brows at that last thing and asks, "Does Franklyn know that?" and points out that they now live in an era where men have feelings, and can be dumb about knowing whether or not a hookup is a relationship (or vice versa).
Back in Los Angeles, Che is sitting up in bed, studying lines and rebuffing Miranda when she attempts a snuggle. Miranda backs off and remarks on how something has shifted in their relationship. Che admits that, yep, something has definitely changed...then confesses that they're on a restrictive diet 'cause the costume department at the TV studio complained about too much belly fat. Che sadly explains that this sudden poor body image is the reason they've been pushing her (Miranda) away...and Miranda reacts by spooning them, confesses that she was frightened their relationship was based purely on sex, and gushes about how they're the most beautiful person in the history of people. Che agrees, then cackles, "Fuck TV! Let's get a pizza."
Carrie calls Franklyn to tell him she's changed her mind about Tuesday's rooftop party 'cause she'd prefer to stick to their regularly scheduled, Thursday-only romps. Franklyn's like, "Got it. You're not into having a relationship" and says he's A-OK with limiting their person-to-person contact with hitting the sheets on Thursdays.
While lunching with Mrs. Zed and the son, Seema is dismayed to learn that Zed lives in the lower floor of his ex-wife's house. Seema wastes no time getting up and racing out of the restaurant...and is about to climb into her car when Zed rushes out after her and explains that his place has its own entrance. An unimpressed Seema replies, "This feels like a mess...and I'm not missing the Met for a mess." Zed chides her for being "such an American", and she agrees that, yep, she's definitely an American who's off to the Met, then orders her driver to hit the gas. LOL.
Carrie calls Anthony to break the news that Seema is back on as her plus one for the Met Gala...and Anthony reacts by cartoonishly glowering in disappointment.
At Casa Wexley, Herbert ogles a scantily clad Lisa while she frets about her never-ending documentary edits. He gives her a from behind canoodle and offers to - hmm mmm - "relax" her...and she says that since she's been primped for the Met Gala, he's welcome to do his magic - but only from the waist down.
Lily and Rock are enlisted to pull Charlotte's corset laces tighter so that she can squeeze herself into what I thought ended up being an unflattering Met Gala outfit, and that's all I'm going to write 'bout that.
Lisa and Herbert exit their building, all gussied up for the gala. Herbert is in a regular tux, while Lisa has draped herself into a super flowy red dress with a strange wire and feathery headpiece that appears to obstruct her ability to see anything in front of her. While standing on the curb, she suddenly remembers that while in the throes of the orgasmic pleasure Herbert was indulging her in earlier, she forgot to book the van to transport them to the event. She tells them they're just going to have to walk the ten blocks...and Herbert trails behind her, clutching her flowy dress veil.
Harry complains about how uncomfortable his boots are...and when Charlotte chooses this moment to break the news that he's not going to be anywhere near the red carpet where all the celebrities pose for the cameras, he decides there isn't any real point in going.
Anthony is eating popcorn in front of the TV when Charlotte calls, admits she made a huge mistake choosing her husband over her favorite gay, and begs him to accompany her to the Met Gala. Anthony perks up and says he can be dressed and ready in half a second.
Seema exits her building in her Met costume, a champagne-colored hooded ensemble...and for whatever reason she's surrounded by an entourage of friends/hangers-on (?), who gush over her and photograph her until she climbs into her car.
A stressed out Smoke erupts at Jackie for being annoyingly sunny during her darkest hour as a painfully inept clothing designer...and after he dejectedly takes "a Smoke break", Smoke pleads with Carrie to scour her closet for something fabulous to wear with the teal cape. Carrie's thoughts immediately go to the enormous wedding gown she got rejected in by Big at the altar, and sadly says that the monstrous frock doesn't bring back good memories...but that since the And Just Like That.. writers seem to be big on shout-outs from her fashion of yore, she's willing to be a good sport and put it on.
"Surely you must have something "fashionable" in your closet that's stupid enough to be appropriate for the Met Gala."
"This emergency situation calls for a wedding gown tainted by Big's rejection, accessorized by a dead bird ornament."
Carrie sifts through the tissue paper in the box that contains the dead bird headpiece she wore in the first SATC movie. She then puts on the voluminous Vivienne Westwood wedding gown, Smoke's teal cape and a pair of matching shoes, and descends the stairs of her brownstone while narrating, "And just like that...I repurposed my pain."
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- Published on
Congratulations to Seema for finally gettin' some
"Seeing the Light"
Original airdate: 2/3/2022
Episode summary: Charlotte and Harry contend with Rock's refusal to be they mitzvahed. Miranda squanders a rare career opportunity when she opts to follow Che to California. Carrie dresses up in a really poofy gown and spreads Big's ashes into the Seine.
Original airdate: 2/3/2022
Episode summary: Charlotte and Harry contend with Rock's refusal to be they mitzvahed. Miranda squanders a rare career opportunity when she opts to follow Che to California. Carrie dresses up in a really poofy gown and spreads Big's ashes into the Seine.
Recap: Carrie, Jackie, and Che are podcast-debating their worst breakup experiences, and Carrie decrees that she's the hands down winner 'cause of Big keeling over after his Peloton workout, declaring, "Death, the ultimate breakup." &^%$#!
Later, Carrie tells Big's ashes that she's going out on a date with Peter, and Big's ashes are like, "I really don't give a shit 'cause I'm dead."
At the end of the evening, Peter walks Carrie to her brownstone, pleasantly chuckling about how they both survived the date. He then admits to Googling her and learning that she's a NY Times bestselling author, and she jokingly denies being that Carrie Bradshaw, then says she too Googled him and was impressed to learn that he was New York State teacher of the year in 2018. Peter politely asks if she's willing to give him the green light for a chaste goodnight kiss...and when and she tepidly nods her OK, he leans in and gives her a smooch lite. He then says they did pretty OK for two heartbroken people [who continue to have zero sexual chemistry], and she agrees, bids him good night, and heads up to her apartment.
Seema is getting it on with the sexy new club owner she met during the previous episode when Carrie calls to report on her boring date with Peter. When she hears Sexy's voice in the background, Seema explains that they've been sexing in a hotel suite for the last three days on the smoking floor (is there really such a thing in New York in 2021?). She pretends to want to know the details of Carrie's first kiss with Peter, so Carrie complains that the man definitely does not make her heart race, and that she kinda hated that he asked for permission prior to leaning in for the kiss. Sexy saunters over to canoodle Seema...and as the two tumble onto the bed and start getting it on, Carrie takes the hint and abruptly ends the call.
Later, Carrie tells Big's ashes that she's going out on a date with Peter, and Big's ashes are like, "I really don't give a shit 'cause I'm dead."
At the end of the evening, Peter walks Carrie to her brownstone, pleasantly chuckling about how they both survived the date. He then admits to Googling her and learning that she's a NY Times bestselling author, and she jokingly denies being that Carrie Bradshaw, then says she too Googled him and was impressed to learn that he was New York State teacher of the year in 2018. Peter politely asks if she's willing to give him the green light for a chaste goodnight kiss...and when and she tepidly nods her OK, he leans in and gives her a smooch lite. He then says they did pretty OK for two heartbroken people [who continue to have zero sexual chemistry], and she agrees, bids him good night, and heads up to her apartment.
Seema is getting it on with the sexy new club owner she met during the previous episode when Carrie calls to report on her boring date with Peter. When she hears Sexy's voice in the background, Seema explains that they've been sexing in a hotel suite for the last three days on the smoking floor (is there really such a thing in New York in 2021?). She pretends to want to know the details of Carrie's first kiss with Peter, so Carrie complains that the man definitely does not make her heart race, and that she kinda hated that he asked for permission prior to leaning in for the kiss. Sexy saunters over to canoodle Seema...and as the two tumble onto the bed and start getting it on, Carrie takes the hint and abruptly ends the call.
"I'd like to describe in detail my date with Peter."
"OK, keep talking and I'll just moan pleasurably in response."
Carrie is ready to go to sleep, so she turns off her reading lamp...and is mystified when the lamp somehow turns itself back on.
At lunch the next day, Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte she thinks that Big is mad at her, then explains that after she kissed Peter on their third date, her reading lamp started started turning itself on and then blinking on and off, which she's translating to mean that Big is expressing his displeasure about her dating Peter. Charlotte says that while she could totally buy that Big might be communicating with her through a reading lamp, she doesn't think he'd be angry at her for moving on with her life. Miranda says she doesn't buy any of this and tells Carrie that she's probably just feeling guilty about going out with Peter...then changes the subject to a family dinner that Che has invited her to attend. Charlotte's phone lights up with the message that, after various other rabbis have had to cancel (due to fake family emergencies) presiding over Rock's imminent they mitzvah, a transgender rabbi is available. She happily squeals, "It's bashert!"
Carrie informs Samantha via text that she kissed a man...and when Samantha texts back to ask how it was, Carrie replies, "It wasn't Big." The two then agree to have an actual, real time voice-to-voice phone conversation off-camera at some point.
Carrie brings her malfunctioning lamp to a lamp repair shop and tells the technician that it keeps turning itself on and off. The technician agrees that that's very strange.
Anthony shows Charlotte and Harry the sourdough challah bread he plans to make for Rock's they mitzvah, says it's the only sourdough challah in the city, and that he plans to take full advantage of this untapped market. Harry makes a face, disapprovingly calls it "hipster challah", and says that the older Jews attending the they mitzvah are going to want the traditional stuff. Anthony compromises and agrees to make half of the loaves non-sourdough - just as Rabbi Jen enters the room to inform Charlotte and Harry that Rock is not prepared for their they mitzvah on account of they don't even know the basics of the Torah, and that moving ahead with the current plan isn't realistic. She suggests cutting down the Torah portion to two lines or conducting the service in English - but Charlotte adamantly nixes that idea, and Anthony says he's going to try talking some sense into the over-indulged imp.
Anthony storms over to the living room, where Rock is lounging on the couch, playing a video game. Anthony admonishes them for fake studying the Torah and for being about to blow it at their they mitzvah. He barks, "Learn your friggin' lines!", takes away the video game controller, and storms out of the room.
At lunch the next day, Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte she thinks that Big is mad at her, then explains that after she kissed Peter on their third date, her reading lamp started started turning itself on and then blinking on and off, which she's translating to mean that Big is expressing his displeasure about her dating Peter. Charlotte says that while she could totally buy that Big might be communicating with her through a reading lamp, she doesn't think he'd be angry at her for moving on with her life. Miranda says she doesn't buy any of this and tells Carrie that she's probably just feeling guilty about going out with Peter...then changes the subject to a family dinner that Che has invited her to attend. Charlotte's phone lights up with the message that, after various other rabbis have had to cancel (due to fake family emergencies) presiding over Rock's imminent they mitzvah, a transgender rabbi is available. She happily squeals, "It's bashert!"
Carrie informs Samantha via text that she kissed a man...and when Samantha texts back to ask how it was, Carrie replies, "It wasn't Big." The two then agree to have an actual, real time voice-to-voice phone conversation off-camera at some point.
Carrie brings her malfunctioning lamp to a lamp repair shop and tells the technician that it keeps turning itself on and off. The technician agrees that that's very strange.
Anthony shows Charlotte and Harry the sourdough challah bread he plans to make for Rock's they mitzvah, says it's the only sourdough challah in the city, and that he plans to take full advantage of this untapped market. Harry makes a face, disapprovingly calls it "hipster challah", and says that the older Jews attending the they mitzvah are going to want the traditional stuff. Anthony compromises and agrees to make half of the loaves non-sourdough - just as Rabbi Jen enters the room to inform Charlotte and Harry that Rock is not prepared for their they mitzvah on account of they don't even know the basics of the Torah, and that moving ahead with the current plan isn't realistic. She suggests cutting down the Torah portion to two lines or conducting the service in English - but Charlotte adamantly nixes that idea, and Anthony says he's going to try talking some sense into the over-indulged imp.
Anthony storms over to the living room, where Rock is lounging on the couch, playing a video game. Anthony admonishes them for fake studying the Torah and for being about to blow it at their they mitzvah. He barks, "Learn your friggin' lines!", takes away the video game controller, and storms out of the room.
"Stop being such a spoiled brat, study the Torah, and make your family proud."
"The fact that I am a spoiled brat precludes me from wanting to do either of those things."
Miranda shows up at Che's family gathering in what looks like a nightclub and is introduced to Che's grandmothers. Che then sits her down and rushes over to the stage to begin singing a rendition of the Beach Boys' California Girls. A perplexed Miranda asks the grandmothers what in blazes is happening, and they respond by smiling vacantly at her. Che wraps up the song, then explains that this is their way of sharing to their loved ones that they're off to California 'cause they've somehow been cast in a new pilot...and a crestfallen Miranda stares despondently into space.
"I wish they all could be California guuuuuurls.."
"I hope they're not referring to me."
Later, Che tells Miranda that it'll probably take about a month to see if the pilot gets picked up...and explains that they didn't want to say anything until it was more of a sure thing, then admits that they're "a fuckin' narcissist" to inform everyone of their good news by belting out California Girls at a family fathering...which, no duh. They inform Miranda that the plan is to fly to L.A. on Saturday and that they'd really really like it if she tagged along.
Che breaks the news of their imminent departure, and the [merciful] end to the grisly podcast to Carrie, Jackie, and Franklyn (the cute control booth guy). Che wanks them about how proud they are of the podcast, and Franklyn just shrugs and tells them it's their show and their decision - while Jackie gets visibly upset at suddenly having no more podcast to perform in, and Carrie glumly remarks that she was just getting the hang of real time raunch talk.
Later, Jackie tells Carrie he's stunned by the sudden end to the podcast, then invites her to attend a party at his house on Friday night.
Miranda stops by Nya's office to inform her that she's made a life decision to finish up the semester remotely 'cause she wants to be with Che in L.A. for the next several months while they film their new TV pilot. Nya gives her a the fuck? look and asks her if she's seriously, actually, for real throwing away the opportunity to intern for Human Rights Watch, aka the competitive internship she was offered after she (Nya) wrote her a glowing recommendation? Miranda sheepishly says that, yep, she's pulling out of that to follow her heart, and that she doesn't want to second guess herself like she usually does. Nya backs off and says she totally gets that, then sadly shares that Andre is currently on tour so that they can each gauge how it feels to be apart and grasp what they may be throwing away for a yet non-existent baby.
Che breaks the news of their imminent departure, and the [merciful] end to the grisly podcast to Carrie, Jackie, and Franklyn (the cute control booth guy). Che wanks them about how proud they are of the podcast, and Franklyn just shrugs and tells them it's their show and their decision - while Jackie gets visibly upset at suddenly having no more podcast to perform in, and Carrie glumly remarks that she was just getting the hang of real time raunch talk.
Later, Jackie tells Carrie he's stunned by the sudden end to the podcast, then invites her to attend a party at his house on Friday night.
Miranda stops by Nya's office to inform her that she's made a life decision to finish up the semester remotely 'cause she wants to be with Che in L.A. for the next several months while they film their new TV pilot. Nya gives her a the fuck? look and asks her if she's seriously, actually, for real throwing away the opportunity to intern for Human Rights Watch, aka the competitive internship she was offered after she (Nya) wrote her a glowing recommendation? Miranda sheepishly says that, yep, she's pulling out of that to follow her heart, and that she doesn't want to second guess herself like she usually does. Nya backs off and says she totally gets that, then sadly shares that Andre is currently on tour so that they can each gauge how it feels to be apart and grasp what they may be throwing away for a yet non-existent baby.
"Lemme get this straight: you're giving up a competitive internship to follow your narcissistic new lover to L.A. while they pursue their life's dream?"
"You say that like it's a boneheaded thing for a grown career woman to be doing."
Seema calls Carrie to report that she really really likes her sexy new beau - just as Carrie arrives at a fancy restaurant to have lunch with Big's brother [who doesn't seem to have been given a name]. He asks her how she's doing these days, then asks where John is...and Carrie stares back at him in horrified incredulity before reminding him of Big's death. Brother Big says he knows that, and is asking where his remains are 'cause he never got word of a final resting place. Carrie says she hasn't decided that yet, and has been keeping Big's ashes on a shelf next to her favorite stilettos until a better idea magically comes to mind. Brother Big asks her to consider burying the ashes inside the family crypt, then adds that since he and his wife are splitting up, there's room in there for her too. Carrie looks aghast at the prospect of eternal rest inside a crypt, but politely thanks him and says she's going to need to think long and hard about where Big would most want to be.
Carrie returns to the lamp repair shop to pick up her reading lamp. The technician confirms that it had a bad wire, which he fixed. Or so he claims.
Jackie's party! Jackie introduces Carrie to his girlfriend Smoke, then rushes over to a microphone to announce to the partygoers that - surprise! - they're actually attending his and Smoke's impromptu wedding ceremony! A few seconds later, Franklyn makes his appearance and wanks Carrie about how great she was at giving relationship advice to people who called into the podcast, then suggests she start her own podcast, which he'd be more than happy to produce. Mmm hmm..
That night, Carrie tells Big/the reading lamp to blink if he's trying to reach her...and when nothing happens, she shuts it off and lays her head atop the pillow. A few seconds later, the lamp suddenly turns itself back on, prompting Carrie to coo, "That is soooo you." She then turns it off, falls asleep, and has a vivid dream about being on the Pont des Arts bridge in Paris, aka the same bridge where Big told Carrie she was "the one" during the Sex and the City finale. [I'm guessing this was the scene the producers had to retool after making the swift decision to eliminate any further footage of Chris Noth after several women came forward with sexual assault allegations.] Carrie wakes up, notices that the reading lamp has turned itself back on, and stares contemplatively into space.
Carrie returns to the lamp repair shop to pick up her reading lamp. The technician confirms that it had a bad wire, which he fixed. Or so he claims.
Jackie's party! Jackie introduces Carrie to his girlfriend Smoke, then rushes over to a microphone to announce to the partygoers that - surprise! - they're actually attending his and Smoke's impromptu wedding ceremony! A few seconds later, Franklyn makes his appearance and wanks Carrie about how great she was at giving relationship advice to people who called into the podcast, then suggests she start her own podcast, which he'd be more than happy to produce. Mmm hmm..
That night, Carrie tells Big/the reading lamp to blink if he's trying to reach her...and when nothing happens, she shuts it off and lays her head atop the pillow. A few seconds later, the lamp suddenly turns itself back on, prompting Carrie to coo, "That is soooo you." She then turns it off, falls asleep, and has a vivid dream about being on the Pont des Arts bridge in Paris, aka the same bridge where Big told Carrie she was "the one" during the Sex and the City finale. [I'm guessing this was the scene the producers had to retool after making the swift decision to eliminate any further footage of Chris Noth after several women came forward with sexual assault allegations.] Carrie wakes up, notices that the reading lamp has turned itself back on, and stares contemplatively into space.
"What message are you trying to send, Big?"
"It's pretty specific: squeeze yourself into a billowing orange gown and scatter my ashes into the Seine."
They mitzvah! While noshing during coffee hour, Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte that Big came to her in a dream last night and expressed his final wish to have his ashes scattered into the Seine from the the Pont des Arts bridge in Paris, which she calls "our bridge" ... and adds that she made plane and hotel reservations for the three of them to go to Paris so that they can all do this together. Charlotte says she's in, while Miranda says she first has to check her schedule. A few seconds later, Anthony and his Hot Fellas deliverers arrive with the regular and sourdough challah loaves, while Harry rushes over to Charlotte to grimly inform her that there's a situation requiring her immediate attention.
Rock stubbornly says they're refusing to take part in the they mitzvah, and Charlotte insists they are 'cause they've been practicing and studying for months (even though it was established that Rock hadn't actually studied much at all). Rock argues that they don't even believe in the notion of being they mitzvahed...and Harry and Charlotte exchange troubled expressions of hapless concern.
Miranda tells Carrie she'll have to fly to Paris from L.A., then explains that she'll be on the west coast with Che while they film their pilot. Carrie says the flight from L.A. to Paris is much too long for a three-day trip, then dismissively tells her to forget about it, and chides herself for being presumptuous in expecting her to drop everything to jet to Paris with her and Charlotte. Miranda follows Carrie into the ladies room and insists that she really really wants to come to Paris for the spreading of Big's ashes, but that it's also really really important to her to be in L.A. for the taping of Che's pilot. Carrie gives her a the fuck? look and asks if she really, seriously, actually passed up her internship with Human Rights Watch so that she can trail after Che, then derisively asks her what she's going to do in L.A. all day: sit in the audience and laugh? She points out how utterly out of character it is for her to no longer focus on her own life aspirations, and Miranda just kind of shrugs and chalks that up to the writers' decision to water her character down from being the ballsy, pragmatic lawyer she was throughout six seasons of Sex and the City to a pathetically love-sick puppy who's content to throw rare career opportunities out the window to follow her new non-binary lover to California just so she can watch them live out their dreams. Carrie half-heartedly tells her to just do whatever she wants and not worry about what anyone else thinks - just as Rabbi Jen exits one of the stalls and urges the ladies to protect what's clearly a precious, strong friendship bond.
Rock stubbornly says they're refusing to take part in the they mitzvah, and Charlotte insists they are 'cause they've been practicing and studying for months (even though it was established that Rock hadn't actually studied much at all). Rock argues that they don't even believe in the notion of being they mitzvahed...and Harry and Charlotte exchange troubled expressions of hapless concern.
Miranda tells Carrie she'll have to fly to Paris from L.A., then explains that she'll be on the west coast with Che while they film their pilot. Carrie says the flight from L.A. to Paris is much too long for a three-day trip, then dismissively tells her to forget about it, and chides herself for being presumptuous in expecting her to drop everything to jet to Paris with her and Charlotte. Miranda follows Carrie into the ladies room and insists that she really really wants to come to Paris for the spreading of Big's ashes, but that it's also really really important to her to be in L.A. for the taping of Che's pilot. Carrie gives her a the fuck? look and asks if she really, seriously, actually passed up her internship with Human Rights Watch so that she can trail after Che, then derisively asks her what she's going to do in L.A. all day: sit in the audience and laugh? She points out how utterly out of character it is for her to no longer focus on her own life aspirations, and Miranda just kind of shrugs and chalks that up to the writers' decision to water her character down from being the ballsy, pragmatic lawyer she was throughout six seasons of Sex and the City to a pathetically love-sick puppy who's content to throw rare career opportunities out the window to follow her new non-binary lover to California just so she can watch them live out their dreams. Carrie half-heartedly tells her to just do whatever she wants and not worry about what anyone else thinks - just as Rabbi Jen exits one of the stalls and urges the ladies to protect what's clearly a precious, strong friendship bond.
"Don't you think that giving up a competitive internship to follow Che to Los Angeles is kinda weak-bellied and immature?"
"I'm sensing judgeyness."
Rock continues to dig in about not wanting to be they mitzvahed, and is further objecting to labels of any kind: Jew, girl, boy, non-binary, Christian, Muslim, New Yorker, earthling. A distraught Charlotte unburdens herself to Lisa about Rock's refusal to be they mitzvahed, and Lisa wanks her about what a super awesome mom she is, then urges her to take a breath and think about what she wants as a result of this special occasion [to which she's invited a whole lot of people].
Charlotte marches back to where Rock is brooding and reminds her daughter that there's a large roomful of people waiting for something interesting to happen. She insists that someone is going out there and getting *** mitzvahed today...and by someone, she means it'll end up being herself, 'cause that won't be odd for the guests who are expecting to commemorate a teenager on reaching their religious adulthood. In the next scene, Rabbi Jen is standing next to Charlotte while declaring that this grown woman has been officially bat mitzvahed, then invites the rest of the Goldenblatts to join them for the next blessing...which they do, including spoiled rotten Rock.
Charlotte marches back to where Rock is brooding and reminds her daughter that there's a large roomful of people waiting for something interesting to happen. She insists that someone is going out there and getting *** mitzvahed today...and by someone, she means it'll end up being herself, 'cause that won't be odd for the guests who are expecting to commemorate a teenager on reaching their religious adulthood. In the next scene, Rabbi Jen is standing next to Charlotte while declaring that this grown woman has been officially bat mitzvahed, then invites the rest of the Goldenblatts to join them for the next blessing...which they do, including spoiled rotten Rock.
Charlotte gets bat mitzvahed to distract from the non mitzvah of her bratty, over-indulged child
"Seriously? We got all dressed up for this?"
Carrie tells Charlotte that Miranda won't be coming to Paris 'cause of her Che plans, and tells Charlotte she need not come either 'cause she now thinks that the spreading of Big's ashes is something she's capable of doing on her own.
As Brady waits for his airport car so that he can head off on a backpacking trip through Europe with Luisa, he and Miranda quip about her new red hairdo...which she got, 'cause after railing about "grey pride" throughout this reboot, she suddenly felt like changing it up.
Carrie is decked out in a scarily poofy orange Valentino gown as she ambles onto the Pont des Arts bridge in Paris clutching a small bag shaped like the Eiffel Tower. She stares down at the Seine with an anguished expression before finally opening the Eiffel Tower bag and scattering Big's ashes into the water below. After staring sadly into space some more, she pulls her phone out and texts Samantha to let her know she's in Paris, and invites her to meet up for a cocktail. Samantha suggests tomorrow night, and Carrie replies with FABULOUS.
Back in New York, Carrie is podcasting relationship advice while Franklyn produces from the adjacent control booth. She assures a heartbroken caller who just got dumped that one day she'll laugh again, especially if she has a few good friends to lean on...and that love is always a possibility, given that the future is unwritten. The caller thanks her and says that that platitude really helped, and then Franklyn motions for her to wrap it up. Carrie promptly signs off from her very first Sex and the City podcast.
Franklyn walks Carrie to the elevator, wanking her about what a phenomenal job she did on Episode One. Carrie credits him with making it soooo easy for her to get through her first podcast, and he responds by leaning in and giving her a passionate smooch.
Suck on that, Peter.
As Brady waits for his airport car so that he can head off on a backpacking trip through Europe with Luisa, he and Miranda quip about her new red hairdo...which she got, 'cause after railing about "grey pride" throughout this reboot, she suddenly felt like changing it up.
Carrie is decked out in a scarily poofy orange Valentino gown as she ambles onto the Pont des Arts bridge in Paris clutching a small bag shaped like the Eiffel Tower. She stares down at the Seine with an anguished expression before finally opening the Eiffel Tower bag and scattering Big's ashes into the water below. After staring sadly into space some more, she pulls her phone out and texts Samantha to let her know she's in Paris, and invites her to meet up for a cocktail. Samantha suggests tomorrow night, and Carrie replies with FABULOUS.
Back in New York, Carrie is podcasting relationship advice while Franklyn produces from the adjacent control booth. She assures a heartbroken caller who just got dumped that one day she'll laugh again, especially if she has a few good friends to lean on...and that love is always a possibility, given that the future is unwritten. The caller thanks her and says that that platitude really helped, and then Franklyn motions for her to wrap it up. Carrie promptly signs off from her very first Sex and the City podcast.
Franklyn walks Carrie to the elevator, wanking her about what a phenomenal job she did on Episode One. Carrie credits him with making it soooo easy for her to get through her first podcast, and he responds by leaning in and giving her a passionate smooch.
Suck on that, Peter.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
- Published on
Charlotte is listening for signs of Lily's tampon string presenting itself
"No Strings Attached"
Original airdate: 1/27/2022
Episode summary: Miranda recruits Carrie and Charlotte to help paint a women's shelter. Lily is mystified by the notion of a tampon. Seema is intrigued by a sexy club owner.
Original airdate: 1/27/2022
Episode summary: Miranda recruits Carrie and Charlotte to help paint a women's shelter. Lily is mystified by the notion of a tampon. Seema is intrigued by a sexy club owner.
Recap: Over lunch at a fancy diner, Miranda tells Charlotte and Carrie she has a favor to ask of them, and that it involves manual labor and Brooklyn. She explains that she'd like to recruit them as helpers to finish painting the women's shelter Nya has been volunteering to help get off the ground and says the charity needs a big turnout on Saturday. Charlotte eagerly says she's in and that she'll bring her kids along, while Carrie's all 'meh' about the notion of manual labor and says she'd much prefer to write a check. Miranda nixes that and tells Carrie she can't just be the white lady who writes checks, and that she needs to "change it up" in her life and actually get her hands dirty while painting. Charlotte's like, "Speaking of change.." and tells the gals that since she hasn't had her period in four months she's assuming she's in full on menopause, then smugly adds that she hasn't experienced any terrible symptoms like the two of them have reportedly suffered.
Lisette drops by Carrie's apartment to give her a ring she designed, then admits she has an ulterior motive: she'd looooove for Carrie to post a photo of herself wearing it on her Instagram page so that her jewelry designs can get maximum exposure among Carrie's raunch reading fans. Carrie warns her to lower her expectations and points out that she's just a lowly writer, and Lisette mumbles, "Hardly" and wanks her about how obsessed she is with her podcast, which...seriously? As Carrie tries on her new ring, Lisette notices that she's also wearing a wedding ring and remarks on how she's never seen her husband around, so Carrie sadly explains that a Peloton recently killed him and that she hasn't yet been able to bring herself to stop wearing her wedding ring.
Charlotte is hovering over Rock as she helps them study for the upcoming *** mitzvah. Rock whines about not wanting a bat mitzvah, so Charlotte clarifies that it'll be a they mitzvah, and that they are going to need to study a lot harder in order to be fully prepared for the imminent rite of passage. A few seconds later, Anthony calls to inform Charlotte that he's bringing a new boy toy to Shabbat dinner on Friday...and while that's happening, Lily lets out a horrified shriek from the nearby bathroom. She rushes over in a panic to inform her mother that an anticipated visit from Aunt Flo is going to ruin an upcoming Hampton's pool party she's been invited to. Charlotte says the choice is clear: learn how to use a tampon, or skip the pool party. Lily responds by shrieking in frustration.
Over at the Empire Diner, Che tells Miranda she's looking especially pretty today, and Miranda tells Che to consider the compliment returned in whatever non-offensive woke manner a compliment can be received by an insufferably self-absorbed human soapbox. Two trans women who are clearly fans of Che make a beeline over to get a selfie and discuss all of the people they know who are rumored to have slept with Che - awkward - and Miranda, who has identified herself as Che's non-famous girlfriend, offers to take the photo.
While standing in line to get into a nightclub, Carrie asks Seema if she wouldn't mind taking a photo of her flashing the shiny new ring Lisette gave her so that she can post it on Instagram. Seema indulges her, then expresses her annoyance at having to wait in line at a club and is tempted to bribe the doorman 'cause she really really wants to go dancing on her birthday. Carrie's all, "It's your birthday?", then promptly struts to the front of the line to try to sweet talk the bouncer into letting them slip in so that her gal pal can enjoy a birthday jig. The bouncer stonily replies that they're at full capacity...and when Seema tries to slip him some cash, he admonishes her "offensive" behavior. The two scuttle off, looking visibly embarrassed.
Lisette drops by Carrie's apartment to give her a ring she designed, then admits she has an ulterior motive: she'd looooove for Carrie to post a photo of herself wearing it on her Instagram page so that her jewelry designs can get maximum exposure among Carrie's raunch reading fans. Carrie warns her to lower her expectations and points out that she's just a lowly writer, and Lisette mumbles, "Hardly" and wanks her about how obsessed she is with her podcast, which...seriously? As Carrie tries on her new ring, Lisette notices that she's also wearing a wedding ring and remarks on how she's never seen her husband around, so Carrie sadly explains that a Peloton recently killed him and that she hasn't yet been able to bring herself to stop wearing her wedding ring.
Charlotte is hovering over Rock as she helps them study for the upcoming *** mitzvah. Rock whines about not wanting a bat mitzvah, so Charlotte clarifies that it'll be a they mitzvah, and that they are going to need to study a lot harder in order to be fully prepared for the imminent rite of passage. A few seconds later, Anthony calls to inform Charlotte that he's bringing a new boy toy to Shabbat dinner on Friday...and while that's happening, Lily lets out a horrified shriek from the nearby bathroom. She rushes over in a panic to inform her mother that an anticipated visit from Aunt Flo is going to ruin an upcoming Hampton's pool party she's been invited to. Charlotte says the choice is clear: learn how to use a tampon, or skip the pool party. Lily responds by shrieking in frustration.
Over at the Empire Diner, Che tells Miranda she's looking especially pretty today, and Miranda tells Che to consider the compliment returned in whatever non-offensive woke manner a compliment can be received by an insufferably self-absorbed human soapbox. Two trans women who are clearly fans of Che make a beeline over to get a selfie and discuss all of the people they know who are rumored to have slept with Che - awkward - and Miranda, who has identified herself as Che's non-famous girlfriend, offers to take the photo.
While standing in line to get into a nightclub, Carrie asks Seema if she wouldn't mind taking a photo of her flashing the shiny new ring Lisette gave her so that she can post it on Instagram. Seema indulges her, then expresses her annoyance at having to wait in line at a club and is tempted to bribe the doorman 'cause she really really wants to go dancing on her birthday. Carrie's all, "It's your birthday?", then promptly struts to the front of the line to try to sweet talk the bouncer into letting them slip in so that her gal pal can enjoy a birthday jig. The bouncer stonily replies that they're at full capacity...and when Seema tries to slip him some cash, he admonishes her "offensive" behavior. The two scuttle off, looking visibly embarrassed.
"My friend would like to enjoy a quick birthday dance in your club."
"That's nice. We're still at full capacity."
Carrie takes Seema to a café, where the two share a piece of cake and lament Seema's still single status at the age of fifty-four. Seema then rationalizes that her fifty-third year wasn't a total waste 'cause she met an amazing new gal pal, and the two toast their budding friendship. Seema then asks Carrie if she's free to go to a matinee on Saturday - but Carrie has to decline and explains that she promised Miranda she'd help paint a new women's shelter in Brooklyn. Seema kind of perks up at that and says she'd be happy to give her a lift to Brooklyn and tag along for the day.
Charlotte is preparing Shabbat dinner when Lily enters the kitchen and says she's finally ready to learn about tampon insertion. Charlotte [somehow refrains from telling her to read through the little instruction booklet that comes with all boxes of tampons and at least attempt to figure this out herself, given that she's sixteen and not six and] agrees to meet her in the bathroom. When Anthony arrives with his new friend, Justin, Charlotte tells Harry she has a minor bathroom emergency to deal with and to please get their guests a drink and remember to take the challah out of the oven in ten minutes. Justin looks bemused at the mention of challah and asks if this is a Jewish dinner...and when Harry nods, Justin smirks and says, "You know the Holocaust is a hoax, right?" to which Anthony shrieks, "Get ouuuuuuuut!!!!"
Carrie stares at hers and Big's wedding rings, then decides to wear them both - even though Big's ring is far too big for her finger and is at great risk of slipping off at the most inopportune moment (spoiler).
Charlotte is doing her best to describe to a mystifyingly-mystified-about-tampons Lily exactly how one inserts a tampon, but Lily just stares back at her in confusion...and it remains unclear why this tech savvy sixteen year old hasn't thought to watch any one of the zillions of available online videos that gently describe the process for first time tampon users. Also unclear is why the writers opted to go down this dumb menstrual rabbit hole in the first place.
Charlotte is preparing Shabbat dinner when Lily enters the kitchen and says she's finally ready to learn about tampon insertion. Charlotte [somehow refrains from telling her to read through the little instruction booklet that comes with all boxes of tampons and at least attempt to figure this out herself, given that she's sixteen and not six and] agrees to meet her in the bathroom. When Anthony arrives with his new friend, Justin, Charlotte tells Harry she has a minor bathroom emergency to deal with and to please get their guests a drink and remember to take the challah out of the oven in ten minutes. Justin looks bemused at the mention of challah and asks if this is a Jewish dinner...and when Harry nods, Justin smirks and says, "You know the Holocaust is a hoax, right?" to which Anthony shrieks, "Get ouuuuuuuut!!!!"
Carrie stares at hers and Big's wedding rings, then decides to wear them both - even though Big's ring is far too big for her finger and is at great risk of slipping off at the most inopportune moment (spoiler).
Charlotte is doing her best to describe to a mystifyingly-mystified-about-tampons Lily exactly how one inserts a tampon, but Lily just stares back at her in confusion...and it remains unclear why this tech savvy sixteen year old hasn't thought to watch any one of the zillions of available online videos that gently describe the process for first time tampon users. Also unclear is why the writers opted to go down this dumb menstrual rabbit hole in the first place.
"I could demonstrate tampon insertion by performing an interpretive dance for you."
"That sounds about where this inane story arc is headed."
Carrie is waiting on a street corner for Peter to arrive for their date...and when he sees the sad look etched across her face, he correctly assumes that she's not up to it. Carrie confirms she isn't, says she didn't want to rudely cancel by texting him, then explains that since she can't bring herself to stop wearing hers and Big's wedding rings, she's probably not ready to start dating. Peter says he understands and tells her he still has his wife's last voicemail on his phone and plays it from time to time so that he can hear her voice again. The two then share a friendly hug, and Peter jests that this dinner cancellation was the "best rejection ever".
Back at Casa Tampon, Charlotte offers to demonstrate tampon insertion to Lily by doing it on herself, but Lily's like, "Ew" and finally manages to accomplish the feat on her own. Hooray!
During Shabbat dinner, everyone picks at the burnt challah that Harry forgot to take out of the oven in time, and Anthony glumly apologizes for bringing an anti-Semite to their home.
Miranda shows up unannounced at Che's apartment with a bag of cookies and saucily says she was craving a little Che, so she bought them some tasty treats and hopped on a train. Che gives her a WTF are you doing here? look and calls the sudden interruption awkward...and when a horrified looking Miranda asks if someone else is in the apartment, Che says they're alone - but extremely busy with a writing project and wishes she'd called or texted before just showing up unannounced. Miranda flushes with embarrassment, admits that she never would have shown up on a male suitor's doorstep like this, and explains that she was just trying to be spontaneous. Che assures Miranda that they're not sleeping with anyone but her (for the moment, at least) and invites her in - but Miranda declines and says that, in keeping with their non-traditional relationship, she's outa here, and sassily adds she's going to eat the entire bag of cookies on the ride home. So there.
The next day, Carrie and Seema arrive at the women's shelter to help paint. Miranda greets them and hands Carrie a paint roller, while Seema's like, "On second thought, nope" - LOL - and wanders off to find a place to smoke and fiddle with her phone. Steve and Brady arrive, while Nya emerges from the shelter and gets introduced to Carrie for the first time. A few seconds later, a giant while limo arrives, and Charlotte, Lisa, and their families spill out. Lisa gets introduced to Nya and tells her she brought along a camera to take photos that the shelter can use for their website or future fundraising efforts, then asks if there's anything else she can do. Nya's like, "As a matter of fact, my lunch arrangements for these hundred or so workers fell through and I have no idea what to do 'bout that", and Lisa just shrugs and says it'd be no problem for her to arrange for the arrival of some tasty grub, and immediately gets on the phone.
As Herbert teaches his kids how to paint, Andre looks over at him longingly and remarks to Nya about what an awesome father he is, and that it's "the stuff of life". Nya's all 'meh' and cynically points out how much easier parenting is when a couple is as well off as Herbert and Lisa are, and Andre chides her for bringing down the vibe and irritably ambles off. Nya wearily looks over at Miranda, who was within earshot of that conversation, and complains about how Andre is suddenly so into kids after years of never noticing them.
Seema is sitting at an outdoor table, smoking and looking at her phone when a sexy middle-aged guy in a convertible pulls up, looks around confusedly, and asks Seema whassup with all the tables, trucks, and crap on his street. He adds that he's directing his question towards her 'cause by the way she's smoking and doing fuck-all while everyone around her seems super busy, she looks like a boss. Seema sassily retorts, "You got that right", so then Sexy further explains that he referred to Bayshore Drive as his street 'cause the trucks and crap are parked right in front of his nightclub (succinctly named Z). Seema perks up at that and asks him if his club is any good...and as he tells her it's the hottest club in Brooklyn, the two stare smittenly at each other. Mmm hmm..
Back at Casa Tampon, Charlotte offers to demonstrate tampon insertion to Lily by doing it on herself, but Lily's like, "Ew" and finally manages to accomplish the feat on her own. Hooray!
During Shabbat dinner, everyone picks at the burnt challah that Harry forgot to take out of the oven in time, and Anthony glumly apologizes for bringing an anti-Semite to their home.
Miranda shows up unannounced at Che's apartment with a bag of cookies and saucily says she was craving a little Che, so she bought them some tasty treats and hopped on a train. Che gives her a WTF are you doing here? look and calls the sudden interruption awkward...and when a horrified looking Miranda asks if someone else is in the apartment, Che says they're alone - but extremely busy with a writing project and wishes she'd called or texted before just showing up unannounced. Miranda flushes with embarrassment, admits that she never would have shown up on a male suitor's doorstep like this, and explains that she was just trying to be spontaneous. Che assures Miranda that they're not sleeping with anyone but her (for the moment, at least) and invites her in - but Miranda declines and says that, in keeping with their non-traditional relationship, she's outa here, and sassily adds she's going to eat the entire bag of cookies on the ride home. So there.
The next day, Carrie and Seema arrive at the women's shelter to help paint. Miranda greets them and hands Carrie a paint roller, while Seema's like, "On second thought, nope" - LOL - and wanders off to find a place to smoke and fiddle with her phone. Steve and Brady arrive, while Nya emerges from the shelter and gets introduced to Carrie for the first time. A few seconds later, a giant while limo arrives, and Charlotte, Lisa, and their families spill out. Lisa gets introduced to Nya and tells her she brought along a camera to take photos that the shelter can use for their website or future fundraising efforts, then asks if there's anything else she can do. Nya's like, "As a matter of fact, my lunch arrangements for these hundred or so workers fell through and I have no idea what to do 'bout that", and Lisa just shrugs and says it'd be no problem for her to arrange for the arrival of some tasty grub, and immediately gets on the phone.
As Herbert teaches his kids how to paint, Andre looks over at him longingly and remarks to Nya about what an awesome father he is, and that it's "the stuff of life". Nya's all 'meh' and cynically points out how much easier parenting is when a couple is as well off as Herbert and Lisa are, and Andre chides her for bringing down the vibe and irritably ambles off. Nya wearily looks over at Miranda, who was within earshot of that conversation, and complains about how Andre is suddenly so into kids after years of never noticing them.
Seema is sitting at an outdoor table, smoking and looking at her phone when a sexy middle-aged guy in a convertible pulls up, looks around confusedly, and asks Seema whassup with all the tables, trucks, and crap on his street. He adds that he's directing his question towards her 'cause by the way she's smoking and doing fuck-all while everyone around her seems super busy, she looks like a boss. Seema sassily retorts, "You got that right", so then Sexy further explains that he referred to Bayshore Drive as his street 'cause the trucks and crap are parked right in front of his nightclub (succinctly named Z). Seema perks up at that and asks him if his club is any good...and as he tells her it's the hottest club in Brooklyn, the two stare smittenly at each other. Mmm hmm..
"Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you."
"OK my turn: I hope you know CPR, 'cause you're taking my breath away."
While painting, Steve asks Carrie how long she's known about the unholy coupling of Miranda and Che and if she was the one who introduced them [answer: yes]. Carrie mumbles something unintelligible in response, then assures him she had nothing to do with their actual hooking up. Steve asks her how long the affair has been going on, and before a visibly uncomfortable Carrie can awkwardly mumble another non-answer, she accidentally steps into a bucket of paint and rushes to the nearest bathroom to wash the paint off of her stiletto...because of course Carrie would wear expensive heels for a day of painting in a newly renovated women's shelter. As she's doing that, Big's wedding rings slips off of her finger and goes down the drain, and she's all, "Nooooo!!" and yells for Steve to come help her. She explains what just happened, and he assures her that the ring is probably caught in the p-trap, then rushes off to get a tool to unscrew the thing.
An anxious Lily tells Charlotte that she's pretty sure her tampon string has vanished, and Charlotte assures her that that's impossible, then brings her over to a portable toilet so she can fish around for it in private. As that's happening, a couple of lunch truck vendors, courtesy of Lisa, arrive to feed the volunteers.
Steve takes the p-trap apart, finds Big's wedding ring, and hands it to Carrie. She clutches it to her chest and thanks Steve for his help.
As Lily continues to frantically search for her missing tampon string, Charlotte takes a break from hovering next to the portable toilet to get her daughter some water. She runs into Carrie, Nya, and Miranda as they're getting lunch, needlessly explains Lily's current predicament, then rushes back to deal with The Case of the Missing Tampon String. OMFG.
Andre and Nya have another boring argument about wanting/not wanting children, blah blah. Nya thinks the two of them are enough without kids, while Andre expresses a deep desire to be a father and isn't taking kindly to her trying to talk him out of wanting kids.
Lily finally manages to locate her tampon string, but is now too afraid to pull the tampon out and asks Charlotte for help with that. Charlotte says she draws the line with her helicopter parenting at tampon removal and tells Lily to just &^%$ do it herself. As she stomps off, Lily pokes her head out and notices a menstrual blood stain on the back of Charlotte's white jump-suit and tries to alert her - but Charlotte ignores her and continues stomping off all the way to the lunch truck, where Miranda and Carrie notice the blood stain, motion her over to inform her that she just had a flash period, then cover her bloody backside by tying a dark sweater around her waist.
Carrie admits to Steve that she panicked when she thought she lost Big's wedding ring, and Steve tells her he's never taking his wedding ring off 'cause he vowed 'til death do us part', the poor sap. Carrie scrunches her face in sympathy and asks if he doesn't want to find someone who maybe won't always treat him like a bag o' shit, but he just shakes his head and insists that his wedding ring is never coming off.
An anxious Lily tells Charlotte that she's pretty sure her tampon string has vanished, and Charlotte assures her that that's impossible, then brings her over to a portable toilet so she can fish around for it in private. As that's happening, a couple of lunch truck vendors, courtesy of Lisa, arrive to feed the volunteers.
Steve takes the p-trap apart, finds Big's wedding ring, and hands it to Carrie. She clutches it to her chest and thanks Steve for his help.
As Lily continues to frantically search for her missing tampon string, Charlotte takes a break from hovering next to the portable toilet to get her daughter some water. She runs into Carrie, Nya, and Miranda as they're getting lunch, needlessly explains Lily's current predicament, then rushes back to deal with The Case of the Missing Tampon String. OMFG.
Andre and Nya have another boring argument about wanting/not wanting children, blah blah. Nya thinks the two of them are enough without kids, while Andre expresses a deep desire to be a father and isn't taking kindly to her trying to talk him out of wanting kids.
Lily finally manages to locate her tampon string, but is now too afraid to pull the tampon out and asks Charlotte for help with that. Charlotte says she draws the line with her helicopter parenting at tampon removal and tells Lily to just &^%$ do it herself. As she stomps off, Lily pokes her head out and notices a menstrual blood stain on the back of Charlotte's white jump-suit and tries to alert her - but Charlotte ignores her and continues stomping off all the way to the lunch truck, where Miranda and Carrie notice the blood stain, motion her over to inform her that she just had a flash period, then cover her bloody backside by tying a dark sweater around her waist.
Carrie admits to Steve that she panicked when she thought she lost Big's wedding ring, and Steve tells her he's never taking his wedding ring off 'cause he vowed 'til death do us part', the poor sap. Carrie scrunches her face in sympathy and asks if he doesn't want to find someone who maybe won't always treat him like a bag o' shit, but he just shakes his head and insists that his wedding ring is never coming off.
"I'm going to wear my wedding ring for the rest of my life."
"You're really the most hopeless of hopeless schmucks, aren't you?"
Back at the apartment, Carrie takes off hers and Big's wedding rings and returns them to the safety of their jewelry box...then texts Peter to ask him if he's up to trying for date #3.
Seema and Carrie strut to the front of the line at Z, aka Brooklyn's hottest club, and are let in by the sexy new friend Seema met while wisely avoiding helping paint the women's shelter.
Seema and Carrie strut to the front of the line at Z, aka Brooklyn's hottest club, and are let in by the sexy new friend Seema met while wisely avoiding helping paint the women's shelter.
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Carrie basks in the glow of being called cool by her hip, young neighbor
"Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered"
Original airdate: 1/20/2022
Episode summary: Carrie makes friends with her hip, young downstairs neighbor. Lily walks in on Charlotte as she's about to blow Harry. Miranda asks Steve for a divorce.
Original airdate: 1/20/2022
Episode summary: Carrie makes friends with her hip, young downstairs neighbor. Lily walks in on Charlotte as she's about to blow Harry. Miranda asks Steve for a divorce.
Recap: Che is performing on an outdoor stage to a crowd of woke New Yorkers, yammering about the importance of living one's truth and not hiding from one's true self, yada yada.. Miranda is in the crowd, cheering and nodding approvingly - until she glances around and happens to notice that Brady and Luisa are also at the rally, applauding Che's performance from several feet away. She's all, "Ack!" and quietly tiptoes off - just as Che is bellowing, "Hiding is soooo five years ago!" while noticing that Miranda is slinking off. They respond by shrieking, "Hiding takes away the bright light that you are! Fuck that shade and shine!" ... and their loyal followers enthusiastically clap while music starts up as they (they meaning Che) stare curiously at Miranda as she skitters off.
In the next scene, Miranda returns with two coffees...and when Che asks whassup with the skulking away, Miranda explains that she spotted her son in the crowd and didn't want him to see her interacting with her new lover 'cause he currently has no idea his mother is suddenly into women and/or is cheating on his father. Che stares back at her in stunned bewilderment and says they somehow just leapt to the conclusion that Miranda's husband and teenage son were fully aware that the marriage was an open one, and Miranda refrains from remarking on what a crazy nutty assumption that is and points out that she never said she was in an open marriage. Che nonsensically rejoins, "You never said you weren't" and calls her out on behaving as though she were in an open marriage, even though the likeliest explanation is that this shithead has been sneaking around behind her husband's back, moron. Miranda sheepishly says she didn't want to spoil their orgasmic fun by mentioning that Steve has no idea any of it has been going on, and Che chides Miranda for putting herself out there in the first place and angrily declares that they're not a home wrecker. A crushed looking Miranda retorts that her home is already wrecked - but Che makes it clear that they're no longer willing to continue on with their finger banging and whatnot until she sorts out her marital situation.
In the next scene, Miranda returns with two coffees...and when Che asks whassup with the skulking away, Miranda explains that she spotted her son in the crowd and didn't want him to see her interacting with her new lover 'cause he currently has no idea his mother is suddenly into women and/or is cheating on his father. Che stares back at her in stunned bewilderment and says they somehow just leapt to the conclusion that Miranda's husband and teenage son were fully aware that the marriage was an open one, and Miranda refrains from remarking on what a crazy nutty assumption that is and points out that she never said she was in an open marriage. Che nonsensically rejoins, "You never said you weren't" and calls her out on behaving as though she were in an open marriage, even though the likeliest explanation is that this shithead has been sneaking around behind her husband's back, moron. Miranda sheepishly says she didn't want to spoil their orgasmic fun by mentioning that Steve has no idea any of it has been going on, and Che chides Miranda for putting herself out there in the first place and angrily declares that they're not a home wrecker. A crushed looking Miranda retorts that her home is already wrecked - but Che makes it clear that they're no longer willing to continue on with their finger banging and whatnot until she sorts out her marital situation.
"I just assumed that you fully briefed your husband and son about all the extramarital finger banging you've been indulging in."
"And ruin our illicit fun?"
Carrie is in the process of cataloguing and packing up her fugly wardrobe to put into storage (hopefully never to be seen again) when Seema drops by. She stares at the racks of '80s and '90s skankwear and coos, "OMG, it's like a Barney's warehouse sale!" As the two eat sushi and gabble, Carrie suddenly says she absolutely neeeeeeds to show her her "pride and joy", then rushes over to her closet and drags over the insanely voluminous feathery green gown she wore during Part 1 of the Sex and the City finale...at which Seema cries, "No! No! Noooooo!", then mutely stares in bewilderment at the monstrosity before asking, "What the fuck am I looking at?" [LOL. Watching the great Sarita Choudhury is truly the only good thing about this wretched reboot.] Carrie tells her it's a Versace concoction she's only ever worn twice: once in Paris while she was wistfully waiting for Misha to take her out on the town (but then didn't 'cause he was a neglectful bum of a boyfriend), and once while she sat by her living room window eating Jiffy Pop. Seema pulls out a cigarette - but Carrie stops her from lighting up and says she can't permit her to smoke near the clothes 'cause she no longer wants them tainted by the stench of cigarettes. She further explains that whenever she feels like lighting up, she does so while outside and donning a shapeless coat, a kerchief atop her head, and rubber gloves on her hands. That said, she offers to keep Seema company while she smokes on her building's front stoop - but then pokes her head out the window and notices that her hip, young downstairs neighbor and some guy are currently occupying the stoop. As the two stare down at the youngsters, Carrie wonders aloud how such a young woman can afford the ginormous apartment on the first floor...and says this as though her ability to afford an Upper East Side apartment while working as a raunch columnist throughout six seasons of Sex and the City wasn't equally as implausible.
At 2:30am, when the stoop crowd has grown larger and noisier, Carrie calls Jackie to ask him if there's any cool way to tell a bunch of young-uns to keep the noise level down...and Jackie says there's really no way to accomplish this if she doesn't want to be nicknamed The Wicked Witch of the East Side. [Given the general lack of shyness among New Yorkers, I find it impossible to believe that no one within hearing range of the ruckus hasn't already yelled at the inconsiderate shits to shut the fuck up, given that it's the middle of the night.] Hours later, Carrie finally gets fed up enough to poke her head out of the window and yell, "Come on!" ... and the young-uns sheepishly retort, "Sorry, ma'am."
Charlotte is in the bathroom with Harry, chiding him for not wearing the new fitness ring she bought for him so that he doesn't keel over from an unexpected heart attack like Big suffered. After hemming and hawing for a few seconds, Harry agrees to allow Charlotte to slip the fitness ring onto his finger...then saucily asks her, as long she's on her knees in front of his crotch, if she wouldn't mind greasing his weasel. Charlotte chuckles and says she'd be more than happy to oblige - just as Lily unexpectedly appears in the doorway of the bathroom. Charlotte panics and slams the door in her face, then rushes out and fibs to her daughter that she was just examining her daddy's pecker for cancer.
At 2:30am, when the stoop crowd has grown larger and noisier, Carrie calls Jackie to ask him if there's any cool way to tell a bunch of young-uns to keep the noise level down...and Jackie says there's really no way to accomplish this if she doesn't want to be nicknamed The Wicked Witch of the East Side. [Given the general lack of shyness among New Yorkers, I find it impossible to believe that no one within hearing range of the ruckus hasn't already yelled at the inconsiderate shits to shut the fuck up, given that it's the middle of the night.] Hours later, Carrie finally gets fed up enough to poke her head out of the window and yell, "Come on!" ... and the young-uns sheepishly retort, "Sorry, ma'am."
Charlotte is in the bathroom with Harry, chiding him for not wearing the new fitness ring she bought for him so that he doesn't keel over from an unexpected heart attack like Big suffered. After hemming and hawing for a few seconds, Harry agrees to allow Charlotte to slip the fitness ring onto his finger...then saucily asks her, as long she's on her knees in front of his crotch, if she wouldn't mind greasing his weasel. Charlotte chuckles and says she'd be more than happy to oblige - just as Lily unexpectedly appears in the doorway of the bathroom. Charlotte panics and slams the door in her face, then rushes out and fibs to her daughter that she was just examining her daddy's pecker for cancer.
"How 'bout playing the skin flute while you're down there?"
"Consider your instrument played."
Carrie's young neighbor, Lisette, drops by Carrie's apartment to apologize on behalf of herself and her noisy friends for disturbing the peace last night, and Carrie breezily says it's no problem, and that she purely needed the peace and quiet 'cause she's a raunch writer who does her best work at night. After Lisette scampers off, Carrie catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and looks mortified when she realizes she had a mud mask on her face during the entire neighbor-to-neighbor interaction.
While out for lunch with Carrie and Charlotte, Miranda breaks the news that she's dumping Steve tonight 'cause she's finally been shamed into the realization that it's not fair to him that she's been clandestinely hitting the sheets with Che. Charlotte tightly replies, "I guess you know what you're doing" ... and when Miranda asks her if she was being judgey just now, Charlotte insists that she wasn't "throwing shade" (an expression she picked up from her daughters) and that she figures 'it's your life; what the hell do I care what you do?' Charlotte then changes the subject to Lily almost walking in on her as she was about to blow Harry...and adds that she panicked, slammed the door in Lily's face, and told her she was examining her father's penis for any visible signs of cancer. Carrie and Miranda stare back at her incredulously and are all, "You still blow Harry?!" and Charlotte nods happily and says that, yep, she does...and that she doesn't want her kids to be all uptight about sex the way she was while growing up - but also doesn't want to traumatize them by the sight of their mother knob-gobbling. Carrie urges her to talk to Lily in an age appropriate way about how mommies sometimes like to fellate daddies, and Charlotte says she definitely likes the sound of a mother-daughter lunch to give Lily a general blow-by-blow about blow jobs.
While strolling the city, Carrie tells Miranda she wants to buy her hip, young neighbor some brownies as a way of apologizing for her uncoolness in yelling 'come on!' out the window the other night...and the two wander into Fat Witch to browse the selection of yummy looking sweets. Miranda says she's debating whether or not to mention Che to Steve while she torches their marriage, and Carrie gently asks how sure she is that Che likes her as much as she likes them...and Miranda chews on that yet unanswered question as she stares contemplatively into space.
Carrie stops by Lisette's place to deliver the box of brownies she just bought at Fat Witch and is greeted by her vacuous but buff, towel clad boyfriend. Carrie explains to the mimbo that she's the upstairs neighbor and stopped by with a little treat for Lisette, and Mimbo responds by rudely declining the brownies 'cause neither he nor Lisette eats sugar. He then "accidentally" drops the towel and exposes his naughties, prompting Carrie to flee up the staircase while he mutters, "Sorry about that, ma'am."
Miranda waits on a Midtown street for Che to emerge from Podcast Headquarters...and Che looks less than thrilled to see her and grunts that they're about to jet off to Cleveland to perform a non-binary-centric schtick for any interested Midwesterners. Miranda says she has but one question: is she crazy and making up the giant feelings she's developed for them ever since the first finger banging? Che assures Miranda that they too are in love with her and want them to be together, but can't promise anything within the realm of traditional. Miranda cries, "Great!", assures Che she's A-OK with not having a traditional whatever-the-fuck kind of hook-up is in store, and giddily promises to dump Steve pronto so that they can officially couple up.
Charlotte takes Lily to a fancy restaurant to discuss her blowing of Harry - but that conversation gets derailed when Lily's phone lights up with a notification of a like to her Instagram selfie in skimpy workout clothes. As an appalled Charlotte snoops through her daughter's phone, she asks her if this is a secret Instagram account...and Lily gets angry about the inquisition and storms out of the restaurant.
While out for lunch with Carrie and Charlotte, Miranda breaks the news that she's dumping Steve tonight 'cause she's finally been shamed into the realization that it's not fair to him that she's been clandestinely hitting the sheets with Che. Charlotte tightly replies, "I guess you know what you're doing" ... and when Miranda asks her if she was being judgey just now, Charlotte insists that she wasn't "throwing shade" (an expression she picked up from her daughters) and that she figures 'it's your life; what the hell do I care what you do?' Charlotte then changes the subject to Lily almost walking in on her as she was about to blow Harry...and adds that she panicked, slammed the door in Lily's face, and told her she was examining her father's penis for any visible signs of cancer. Carrie and Miranda stare back at her incredulously and are all, "You still blow Harry?!" and Charlotte nods happily and says that, yep, she does...and that she doesn't want her kids to be all uptight about sex the way she was while growing up - but also doesn't want to traumatize them by the sight of their mother knob-gobbling. Carrie urges her to talk to Lily in an age appropriate way about how mommies sometimes like to fellate daddies, and Charlotte says she definitely likes the sound of a mother-daughter lunch to give Lily a general blow-by-blow about blow jobs.
While strolling the city, Carrie tells Miranda she wants to buy her hip, young neighbor some brownies as a way of apologizing for her uncoolness in yelling 'come on!' out the window the other night...and the two wander into Fat Witch to browse the selection of yummy looking sweets. Miranda says she's debating whether or not to mention Che to Steve while she torches their marriage, and Carrie gently asks how sure she is that Che likes her as much as she likes them...and Miranda chews on that yet unanswered question as she stares contemplatively into space.
Carrie stops by Lisette's place to deliver the box of brownies she just bought at Fat Witch and is greeted by her vacuous but buff, towel clad boyfriend. Carrie explains to the mimbo that she's the upstairs neighbor and stopped by with a little treat for Lisette, and Mimbo responds by rudely declining the brownies 'cause neither he nor Lisette eats sugar. He then "accidentally" drops the towel and exposes his naughties, prompting Carrie to flee up the staircase while he mutters, "Sorry about that, ma'am."
Miranda waits on a Midtown street for Che to emerge from Podcast Headquarters...and Che looks less than thrilled to see her and grunts that they're about to jet off to Cleveland to perform a non-binary-centric schtick for any interested Midwesterners. Miranda says she has but one question: is she crazy and making up the giant feelings she's developed for them ever since the first finger banging? Che assures Miranda that they too are in love with her and want them to be together, but can't promise anything within the realm of traditional. Miranda cries, "Great!", assures Che she's A-OK with not having a traditional whatever-the-fuck kind of hook-up is in store, and giddily promises to dump Steve pronto so that they can officially couple up.
Charlotte takes Lily to a fancy restaurant to discuss her blowing of Harry - but that conversation gets derailed when Lily's phone lights up with a notification of a like to her Instagram selfie in skimpy workout clothes. As an appalled Charlotte snoops through her daughter's phone, she asks her if this is a secret Instagram account...and Lily gets angry about the inquisition and storms out of the restaurant.
"Do you want to explain to me why there's an Instagram account I'm not aware of with scantily clad photos of yourself?"
"Nah, I'm Gucci."
Charlotte calls Carrie to ask if, per chance, Lily is at her apartment, and Carrie says she is, and that she's helping catalogue her wardrobe - just as Lily tells Carrie she really really wants to sleep over at her place tonight so she can continue avoiding her mother. Carrie relocates to the bathroom for privacy and tells Charlotte she doesn't think Lily's Instagram workout wear photo is all that bad (especially when comparing the outfit to all the skankwear the poor kid is currently cataloguing) and points out that she's a teenager who's just trying to figure herself out. Charlotte wails about the loss of her daughter's innocence, then says it's probably a good thing for all concerned that she sleep over at Carrie's tonight.
Hours later, Carrie wakes up to the sound of blaring music coming from Lisette's apartment. So much for her promise of no further ruckus. Carrie tiptoes downstairs, finds Lisette's door ajar, and wanders into the apartment where Lisette is passed out on the couch. Carrie lowers the volume of the music, then happens to notice an unopened package sitting on the cabinet that's addressed to Lisette Alee.
The next day, Carrie is wandering the streets in her outdoor smoking attire - kerchief atop head, rubber gloves, shapeless coat - while talking on the phone to Seema. She reports that she just learned her neighbor is a hip, successful jewelry designer from California...and based on what she recently read about her in Vulture, recently moved to New York for its energy and inspiration. She tells Seema she'd like to be a hip, older friend of Lisette's as opposed to being regarded as the crazy old lady who lives upstairs - just as she returns to her building in her unsightly garb and runs into Lisette on her way out. Womp womp!
Charlotte enters Lily's bedroom to 1) express surprise about her expressing herself by taking selfies in skimpy workout wear, and 2) resume the 'I sometimes blow your father' talk that got cut short at the restaurant. She asks Lily if she has any follow-up questions about delicate topic #2, and Lily responds by asking her if she found any cancer while examining her dad's schlong and Charlotte [looks pleasantly surprised that Lily is pretending to have bought that nonsense and] assures her she didn't.
Miranda enters the living room, where Steve is watching sports, and asks him to put in both hearing aids so she doesn't have to be screaming "I'm leaving you!" into his good ear. She seats herself next to him and says she still loves him, and he looks suitably alarmed by that and jokingly asks if she's about to ask him for a divorce. Miranda's like, "Uh, d'yuh" and tells him she can't continue in this dull-as-fuck marriage a minute longer 'cause she wants "more everything": connection, energy, sex. She asks him if he's happy, then motions around the living room and snidely asks if this is enough for him, and he's like, "Yeah, kinda" and defeatedly asks her if she's really, truly, for sure leaving him. Miranda makes it clear that, yes, this is really happening...and Steve deflates further as he recalls the various times she's made him feel as though he was never enough, and that he's reacted to her generally shabby treatment of him by rallying to get them through those dark places - until they've finally come to a point where their relationship isn't such an obnoxious rollercoaster. He tells her he likes that they each go off and do their stuff during the day, then reconvene at night and chat about Brady, eat dessert, and watch TV together. He describes this dull-but-comfortable pattern as typical married life - but Miranda shakes her head and says she no longer wants to stay imprisoned in that rut and assures him she really, truly, for sure doesn't want him to rally for them to stay married anymore. Steve mulls that over, says he just wants her to be happy, then asks her what she thinks is out there that's so much better than him. Miranda decides 'why not shatter his heart all the way?' and tells him she's met someone, and he stares back at her with an anguished expression on his face.
Hours later, Carrie wakes up to the sound of blaring music coming from Lisette's apartment. So much for her promise of no further ruckus. Carrie tiptoes downstairs, finds Lisette's door ajar, and wanders into the apartment where Lisette is passed out on the couch. Carrie lowers the volume of the music, then happens to notice an unopened package sitting on the cabinet that's addressed to Lisette Alee.
The next day, Carrie is wandering the streets in her outdoor smoking attire - kerchief atop head, rubber gloves, shapeless coat - while talking on the phone to Seema. She reports that she just learned her neighbor is a hip, successful jewelry designer from California...and based on what she recently read about her in Vulture, recently moved to New York for its energy and inspiration. She tells Seema she'd like to be a hip, older friend of Lisette's as opposed to being regarded as the crazy old lady who lives upstairs - just as she returns to her building in her unsightly garb and runs into Lisette on her way out. Womp womp!
Charlotte enters Lily's bedroom to 1) express surprise about her expressing herself by taking selfies in skimpy workout wear, and 2) resume the 'I sometimes blow your father' talk that got cut short at the restaurant. She asks Lily if she has any follow-up questions about delicate topic #2, and Lily responds by asking her if she found any cancer while examining her dad's schlong and Charlotte [looks pleasantly surprised that Lily is pretending to have bought that nonsense and] assures her she didn't.
Miranda enters the living room, where Steve is watching sports, and asks him to put in both hearing aids so she doesn't have to be screaming "I'm leaving you!" into his good ear. She seats herself next to him and says she still loves him, and he looks suitably alarmed by that and jokingly asks if she's about to ask him for a divorce. Miranda's like, "Uh, d'yuh" and tells him she can't continue in this dull-as-fuck marriage a minute longer 'cause she wants "more everything": connection, energy, sex. She asks him if he's happy, then motions around the living room and snidely asks if this is enough for him, and he's like, "Yeah, kinda" and defeatedly asks her if she's really, truly, for sure leaving him. Miranda makes it clear that, yes, this is really happening...and Steve deflates further as he recalls the various times she's made him feel as though he was never enough, and that he's reacted to her generally shabby treatment of him by rallying to get them through those dark places - until they've finally come to a point where their relationship isn't such an obnoxious rollercoaster. He tells her he likes that they each go off and do their stuff during the day, then reconvene at night and chat about Brady, eat dessert, and watch TV together. He describes this dull-but-comfortable pattern as typical married life - but Miranda shakes her head and says she no longer wants to stay imprisoned in that rut and assures him she really, truly, for sure doesn't want him to rally for them to stay married anymore. Steve mulls that over, says he just wants her to be happy, then asks her what she thinks is out there that's so much better than him. Miranda decides 'why not shatter his heart all the way?' and tells him she's met someone, and he stares back at her with an anguished expression on his face.
"Do you really think you can do better than me?"
"Well...I've hooked up with a narcissist named Che. So no."
Miranda calls Carrie to report that she just dropped the bomb on Steve about wanting a divorce pronto, told him about her hookup with Che, then jumped into a cab to fly to Cleveland to surprise Che to let them know they can be together. She fuckwittedly squeals, "OMG, I'm in a rom-com, Carrie!" *&!%$ I guess one woman's rom-com is another woman's horror show.
Carrie is heading down the stairs of her building when she witnesses a nasty fight between Lisette and her mimbo, who she accuses of sleeping with every woman she knows in New York. After he dismissively accuses her of acting like "a fucking out-of-towner" and storms out, a tearful Lisette spots Carrie lurking on the staircase and moans about how mortified she is that she had to see that, then calls herself an asshole for dating such a philandering bonehead. Carrie breezily assures her it's fine, then shrugs and says it's all part of dating in the Big Apple. Lisette manages a smile, thanks her for the kind words, and calls her cool.
That evening, Carrie puts on the insanely voluminous feathery green gown she wore that one time in Paris, then sits by her living room window and eats Jiffy Pop while voice-overing that she's decided to never ever put this ridiculously gargantuan frock into storage, however little space it might leave for other, more practically sized outfits.
Carrie is heading down the stairs of her building when she witnesses a nasty fight between Lisette and her mimbo, who she accuses of sleeping with every woman she knows in New York. After he dismissively accuses her of acting like "a fucking out-of-towner" and storms out, a tearful Lisette spots Carrie lurking on the staircase and moans about how mortified she is that she had to see that, then calls herself an asshole for dating such a philandering bonehead. Carrie breezily assures her it's fine, then shrugs and says it's all part of dating in the Big Apple. Lisette manages a smile, thanks her for the kind words, and calls her cool.
That evening, Carrie puts on the insanely voluminous feathery green gown she wore that one time in Paris, then sits by her living room window and eats Jiffy Pop while voice-overing that she's decided to never ever put this ridiculously gargantuan frock into storage, however little space it might leave for other, more practically sized outfits.
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Miranda officially pronounces her marital sex life dead
"Sex and the Widow"
Original airdate: 1/13/2022
Episode summary: Miranda throws in the towel on hers and Steve's sex life. Carrie's editor urges her to inject hope into her next book by re-entering the dating pool. Charlotte and Harry get into a fight after a tennis match.
Original airdate: 1/13/2022
Episode summary: Miranda throws in the towel on hers and Steve's sex life. Carrie's editor urges her to inject hope into her next book by re-entering the dating pool. Charlotte and Harry get into a fight after a tennis match.
Recap: Carrie is sitting in front of her window, looking sad as she taps away on her laptop...and continues to look sad as she taps away on her laptop while the seasons change around her.
Carrie meets with her editor, Amanda, who wankishly tells her she actually shed tears while reading her manuscript and would like to fast track the book so that it's on the shelves in time for the holiday season. Amanda marvels at the book's raw, brutal honesty in the aftermath of Big's demise...and says it's sooooo tragic that Carrie's quest for love during six seasons of Sex and the City ended with the love of her life senselessly keeling over after a Peloton workout. Carrie just kind of shrugs and says, "That's what happened", so Amanda gently reminds her that her readers mostly identify her as a vacuous raunch columnist and likely would rather not get depressed while reading her new 'I'm sad that Big is dead' book. She suggests interjecting a tiny glimmer of hope about a possible new love interest on the horizon, in the form of an upbeat epilogue, and Carrie stares into space as she quietly mulls over the prospect of re-entering the dating pool.
Carrie meets with her editor, Amanda, who wankishly tells her she actually shed tears while reading her manuscript and would like to fast track the book so that it's on the shelves in time for the holiday season. Amanda marvels at the book's raw, brutal honesty in the aftermath of Big's demise...and says it's sooooo tragic that Carrie's quest for love during six seasons of Sex and the City ended with the love of her life senselessly keeling over after a Peloton workout. Carrie just kind of shrugs and says, "That's what happened", so Amanda gently reminds her that her readers mostly identify her as a vacuous raunch columnist and likely would rather not get depressed while reading her new 'I'm sad that Big is dead' book. She suggests interjecting a tiny glimmer of hope about a possible new love interest on the horizon, in the form of an upbeat epilogue, and Carrie stares into space as she quietly mulls over the prospect of re-entering the dating pool.
"Your depressing book needs a pick-me-up at the end."
"Drats. I was going for an 'all hope is lost' type theme."
Charlotte and Lisa warm up to play a doubles tennis match against a couple of old ladies. Lisa pumps up Charlotte by bragging, "We can beat these bitches" ... and then we get a lot of superfluous footage of the ensuing match with Eye of the Tiger playing in the background.
Miranda is at an outdoor farmer's market, barking directions at Steve over the phone about where exactly she's standing, and finally gets so exasperated with the dolt that she snarls, "Just find me, OK?!" A few seconds later, she runs into Nya and Andre and wistfully notes how utterly adorbs Andre is...and after Andre ambles off to buy some cheese, Nya tells Miranda that her umpteenth attempt at getting pregnant has failed, as was evidenced by her period appearing today after being late for two weeks. Steve finally wanders over, gets introduced to Nya, and then yammers like a senile old man about how he left his wallet at the pickle guy's booth...and when he flails off to retrieve it, Miranda stares back at Nya and looks visibly embarrassed at being married to such a buffoon.
Carrie meets up with with Amanda to wring her hands about how depressing her latest book is, and to suggest that maybe it shouldn't be published 'cause her readers needn't be burdened by her never ending well of sadness. Amanda disagrees and informs her that Oprah's book club people have expressed an interest in acquiring and discussing her latest drivel...which, even though I'm not an Oprah book club member, I can't help but find utterly implausible.
While dining out with Miranda, Charlotte, and Seema, Carrie announces that her editor has instructed her to re-enter the dating pool so that she can tack a hopeful epilogue onto her depressing 'I'm sad that Big is dead' book. Charlotte excitedly coos to Carrie about all the cute dads she knows who wouldn't consider it slumming to go out with her socially, but Carrie nixes that idea and says she'd prefer to go the dating app route and be more anonymous. Seema informs her that she's already listed her on three different dating apps and that she's unwittingly attracted a significant amount of buzz, then pulls out her phone and swipes the photos of the various men who've expressed an interest in potential romance with horsey-faced widows.
Miranda is at an outdoor farmer's market, barking directions at Steve over the phone about where exactly she's standing, and finally gets so exasperated with the dolt that she snarls, "Just find me, OK?!" A few seconds later, she runs into Nya and Andre and wistfully notes how utterly adorbs Andre is...and after Andre ambles off to buy some cheese, Nya tells Miranda that her umpteenth attempt at getting pregnant has failed, as was evidenced by her period appearing today after being late for two weeks. Steve finally wanders over, gets introduced to Nya, and then yammers like a senile old man about how he left his wallet at the pickle guy's booth...and when he flails off to retrieve it, Miranda stares back at Nya and looks visibly embarrassed at being married to such a buffoon.
Carrie meets up with with Amanda to wring her hands about how depressing her latest book is, and to suggest that maybe it shouldn't be published 'cause her readers needn't be burdened by her never ending well of sadness. Amanda disagrees and informs her that Oprah's book club people have expressed an interest in acquiring and discussing her latest drivel...which, even though I'm not an Oprah book club member, I can't help but find utterly implausible.
While dining out with Miranda, Charlotte, and Seema, Carrie announces that her editor has instructed her to re-enter the dating pool so that she can tack a hopeful epilogue onto her depressing 'I'm sad that Big is dead' book. Charlotte excitedly coos to Carrie about all the cute dads she knows who wouldn't consider it slumming to go out with her socially, but Carrie nixes that idea and says she'd prefer to go the dating app route and be more anonymous. Seema informs her that she's already listed her on three different dating apps and that she's unwittingly attracted a significant amount of buzz, then pulls out her phone and swipes the photos of the various men who've expressed an interest in potential romance with horsey-faced widows.
"I know a lot of single dads you could date."
"Sorry, I'm looking to humiliate myself in a far more anonymous way."
While strolling the city at night, Carrie tells Miranda that the idea of having sex with anyone other than Big makes her sick to her stomach, and that she isn't entirely jazzed about having to get back on the rollercoaster that was her dating life during much of Sex and the City. Miranda says that she, on the other hand, would looooove to get back onto that rollercoaster 'cause of how dull as fuck her marriage with Steve has gotten, then wrings her hands about how Che hasn't responded to her latest DM about the two of them chillin' together. She asks Carrie if Che ever mentions her over at Podcast Headquarters, and Carrie says no, and gently reminds her that Che is kinda on the promiscuous side. Miranda scrunches her face glumly and laments having had the greatest digit sex of her life, the likes of which she'll probably never experience again, and Carrie says she knows how she feels - but that she wins [the reboot's ongoing competition as to who's allowed to be the most miserable] 'cause Big is dead.
Harry tells Charlotte that he ran into Herbert Wexley and had a chat about their wives playing doubles tennis together...then not-so-subtly hints that he'd loooove to be invited to play a game of mixed doubles with her, Lisa and Herbert. Yawn.
Nya is driving with Andre in the passenger seat when CarPlay announces to Nya that her phone has an incoming text message from Miranda, and proceeds to read Miranda's sympathy note to Nya about how she hopes that the conversation with Andre about her not being pregnant went OK. Nya frantically tries to turn it off and gets so flustered that she has to slam on her brakes at an intersection where two men are taking a toddler for a stroll. One of the men marches over and yells at Nya for not watching where she's going and screeches, "I have a toddler!" ... and after he storms off, Andre and Nya chuckle at the man's funny looking meltdown before Nya apologizes for confiding in Miranda about her barren status before telling her own husband.
Carrie swipes through various men on a dating app before deciding on a pleasant looking bearded chap named Peter.
While playing doubles tennis, Charlotte gets aggressively competitive and crashes into Harry, sending him tumbling onto the floor in her quest to beat Lisa and Herbert.
Later, Charlotte remarks to Harry that she thinks that the two of them were well matched against Lisa and Herbert, and a sulky looking Harry's all, "How about an apology for knocking me over during the game?" Charlotte adamantly refuses to apologize for any roughhousing that happened during the match, then chides him for being an insufferable mansplainer at times. When Harry can't let it go and digs in about wanting an apology, which seems ridiculously out of character for this easygoing man, the two argue on the street about the contrived conflict for what seems like a really loooong time. Charlotte bellows, "You're driving me fucking crazy!" - just as she realizes that Lisa and Herbert are within hearing range and are looking over at them in bewilderment. Charlotte immediately shuts her trap, tells Harry they're now going to be known as that couple that bickers in public, and hustles him outa there.
Harry tells Charlotte that he ran into Herbert Wexley and had a chat about their wives playing doubles tennis together...then not-so-subtly hints that he'd loooove to be invited to play a game of mixed doubles with her, Lisa and Herbert. Yawn.
Nya is driving with Andre in the passenger seat when CarPlay announces to Nya that her phone has an incoming text message from Miranda, and proceeds to read Miranda's sympathy note to Nya about how she hopes that the conversation with Andre about her not being pregnant went OK. Nya frantically tries to turn it off and gets so flustered that she has to slam on her brakes at an intersection where two men are taking a toddler for a stroll. One of the men marches over and yells at Nya for not watching where she's going and screeches, "I have a toddler!" ... and after he storms off, Andre and Nya chuckle at the man's funny looking meltdown before Nya apologizes for confiding in Miranda about her barren status before telling her own husband.
Carrie swipes through various men on a dating app before deciding on a pleasant looking bearded chap named Peter.
While playing doubles tennis, Charlotte gets aggressively competitive and crashes into Harry, sending him tumbling onto the floor in her quest to beat Lisa and Herbert.
Later, Charlotte remarks to Harry that she thinks that the two of them were well matched against Lisa and Herbert, and a sulky looking Harry's all, "How about an apology for knocking me over during the game?" Charlotte adamantly refuses to apologize for any roughhousing that happened during the match, then chides him for being an insufferable mansplainer at times. When Harry can't let it go and digs in about wanting an apology, which seems ridiculously out of character for this easygoing man, the two argue on the street about the contrived conflict for what seems like a really loooong time. Charlotte bellows, "You're driving me fucking crazy!" - just as she realizes that Lisa and Herbert are within hearing range and are looking over at them in bewilderment. Charlotte immediately shuts her trap, tells Harry they're now going to be known as that couple that bickers in public, and hustles him outa there.
"I demand an apology for your tennis roughhousing."
"Take your demand and shove it up your - oh shit, there's Lisa and Herbert."
While cleaning up the dishes after dinner, Miranda attempts to breathe life into her comatose marital sex life by telling Steve she's suddenly in the mood for some finger penetration. Steve perks up at that, warns that he's a little rusty after their years' long dry spell, and washes his hands. He then slips his hand inside her pants and gets busy trying to hone in on his wife's G-spot - but Miranda can't get into it and just stares despondently into space, declines his suggestion to lube herself up, and suggests they forget all about it and eat dessert.
While out for dinner, Peter tells Carrie that this is the first time he's been on a date since his wife died (of ovarian cancer), and an anguished looking Carrie says they're definitely going to need some drinks. In the next scene, the two drunkenly stagger out of the restaurant before simultaneously puking onto the street.
The next evening, the fundraising benefit at school, hosted by Lisa and Herbert, gets underway. Carrie tells Charlotte, Miranda, and Anthony that her date with Peter was a disaster...and Anthony says that on his worst date (in the seventh grade) he shit himself after eating ice cream with a girl. Carrie argues that she still wins the Worst Date Ever competition 'cause her disastrous date occurred in the wake of her husband's death. When Harry wanders over to talk to Charlotte about how to bid on stuff, Charlotte apologetically excuses herself from the group, prompting Harry to ask how she can so easily apologize to her friends but not to him...and Charlotte begs him to, OMFG please let go of this unfunny, nonsensical grudge already. No wait - that was me.
Carrie laments to Miranda that she's going to have to come clean to Amanda about not being able to find a glimmer of hope in her quest for a post-Big relationship. Miranda tells her that she just tried to revive hers and Steve's sex life with some impromptu finger banging, but has concluded that she's officially throwing in the towel on their marital relations.
Che takes the stage at the benefit to perform their comedy schtick...and Miranda becomes so mesmerized by the sight of her digit lover that she abandons Carrie to purposefully march over to the stage.
Carrie's all, "Ack!" when she spots Peter arriving at the benefit and asks Anthony to follow him around and let her know when he's left the building.
Che spots Miranda staring over while mingling with a gaggle of fans (?), then ambles over to say hey. Miranda explains that she just ordered an Uber and chides Che for not DMing her back...and Che's all, "I get so many DMs, I must have missed yours." They tell Miranda she should have sent another DM to ask for a second finger banging if that's what she wanted, then says they'd loooooove to take her someplace private, strip off all her clothes, and go at it...and a dreamy-faced Miranda lights up and goes, "Really?"
While out for dinner, Peter tells Carrie that this is the first time he's been on a date since his wife died (of ovarian cancer), and an anguished looking Carrie says they're definitely going to need some drinks. In the next scene, the two drunkenly stagger out of the restaurant before simultaneously puking onto the street.
The next evening, the fundraising benefit at school, hosted by Lisa and Herbert, gets underway. Carrie tells Charlotte, Miranda, and Anthony that her date with Peter was a disaster...and Anthony says that on his worst date (in the seventh grade) he shit himself after eating ice cream with a girl. Carrie argues that she still wins the Worst Date Ever competition 'cause her disastrous date occurred in the wake of her husband's death. When Harry wanders over to talk to Charlotte about how to bid on stuff, Charlotte apologetically excuses herself from the group, prompting Harry to ask how she can so easily apologize to her friends but not to him...and Charlotte begs him to, OMFG please let go of this unfunny, nonsensical grudge already. No wait - that was me.
Carrie laments to Miranda that she's going to have to come clean to Amanda about not being able to find a glimmer of hope in her quest for a post-Big relationship. Miranda tells her that she just tried to revive hers and Steve's sex life with some impromptu finger banging, but has concluded that she's officially throwing in the towel on their marital relations.
Che takes the stage at the benefit to perform their comedy schtick...and Miranda becomes so mesmerized by the sight of her digit lover that she abandons Carrie to purposefully march over to the stage.
Carrie's all, "Ack!" when she spots Peter arriving at the benefit and asks Anthony to follow him around and let her know when he's left the building.
Che spots Miranda staring over while mingling with a gaggle of fans (?), then ambles over to say hey. Miranda explains that she just ordered an Uber and chides Che for not DMing her back...and Che's all, "I get so many DMs, I must have missed yours." They tell Miranda she should have sent another DM to ask for a second finger banging if that's what she wanted, then says they'd loooooove to take her someplace private, strip off all her clothes, and go at it...and a dreamy-faced Miranda lights up and goes, "Really?"
"My fingers have been missing your cooch."
"That's the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me."
Herbert tells Lisa he's outa here 'cause he has to get up early for a business trip, and Lisa's all, "Wha-a-a-a??" and barks at him to not dare leave her alone to finish hosting the benefit by herself. The two start arguing back and forth - just as Charlotte and Harry wander into the area looking for a bathroom. Lisa, like Charlotte after the tennis match, laments to Herbert that they're now that couple that bickers in public. This really seems like a subplot that maybe should have been left on the cutting room floor.
Herbert placates his wife by staying at the benefit to finish his hosting duties, and gets to the human auction part of the benefit, specifically "a date with sex writer Carrie Bradshaw". Carrie's all, "The fuck?" and irritably reminds Charlotte that she had agreed to a lunch, and that referring to her as a sex writer makes it sound as if she writes porn (as opposed to insipid raunch). Herbert proceeds to invite Carrie onto the stage to open up the bids at $500...and when no one seems remotely interested in shelling out that kind of money to have lunch with a sex columnist has-been, Charlotte bids $700, then bids against herself by raising the amount to $800. LOL. Carrie bids $1,000 to end the torture of waiting for more bids - but then Peter saves the day by bidding $1,050 so that the two of them can have a date do-over.
In the next scene, Carrie thanks Peter for his bid and offers to cover the cost without him having to actually go out with her again - but Peter tells her he's somehow genuinely interested in giving date #2 a shot.
Herbert placates his wife by staying at the benefit to finish his hosting duties, and gets to the human auction part of the benefit, specifically "a date with sex writer Carrie Bradshaw". Carrie's all, "The fuck?" and irritably reminds Charlotte that she had agreed to a lunch, and that referring to her as a sex writer makes it sound as if she writes porn (as opposed to insipid raunch). Herbert proceeds to invite Carrie onto the stage to open up the bids at $500...and when no one seems remotely interested in shelling out that kind of money to have lunch with a sex columnist has-been, Charlotte bids $700, then bids against herself by raising the amount to $800. LOL. Carrie bids $1,000 to end the torture of waiting for more bids - but then Peter saves the day by bidding $1,050 so that the two of them can have a date do-over.
In the next scene, Carrie thanks Peter for his bid and offers to cover the cost without him having to actually go out with her again - but Peter tells her he's somehow genuinely interested in giving date #2 a shot.
"For our second date, let's try not to get completely wasted."
"I'd prefer more of a wait and see approach."
Che is laying atop Miranda in her bed, and Miranda is gushing about how her nether regions have never felt anything so intense in her life. The two then profess their love for one another, gigglingly agree that Che is super awesome in bed, and start smooching.
Carrie gets a text message from Peter telling her he's looking forward to their second date. She then seats herself in front of her computer to get busy writing an upbeat epilogue for her book as she voiceovers, "And just like that...I found a glimmer of hope."
Carrie gets a text message from Peter telling her he's looking forward to their second date. She then seats herself in front of her computer to get busy writing an upbeat epilogue for her book as she voiceovers, "And just like that...I found a glimmer of hope."
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- Published on
In honor of Diwali, Carrie has planted a flower garden atop her coif
"Diwali"
Original airdate: 1/6/2022
Episode summary: Carrie accompanies Seema to her family's Diwali celebration. Miranda breaks the news to Charlotte that she's been finger banged by Che. Nya gets annoyed by an acquaintance's constant talk of babies.
Original airdate: 1/6/2022
Episode summary: Carrie accompanies Seema to her family's Diwali celebration. Miranda breaks the news to Charlotte that she's been finger banged by Che. Nya gets annoyed by an acquaintance's constant talk of babies.
Recap: Seema is showing Carrie (along with Anthony) a spacious, extremely bright downtown apartment with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the Hudson River. Carrie tells Anthony she's not sure about the prospect of living so far downtown, but he points out that this light and airy apartment could be "the new you" and assures her that she definitely won't miss the dark kitchen in her old SATC pad. Seema, meanwhile, is on the terrace talking on the phone to her father about the family's upcoming Diwali celebration...and she promises to indulge her mother and buy herself a new sari for the occasion.
Over lunch, Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte she's not sure she can live so close to the water, complains that she doesn't absolutely loooove the downtown apartment, but purchased it regardless 'cause she's been dragging Seema all over the city and has concluded that the problem isn't so much the apartments she's seen than it is her chronic indecision. Miranda asks Carrie why she doesn't just continue living in her SATC apartment if she's happy there, and Carrie questions if, by staying in the same place she lived for six seasons of Sex and the City, she's living or retreating...and also doesn't want to be one of those annoying New Yorkers who boast about having lived in the same place for the last fifty years. She declares that since Big is now gone, she needs to start a new chapter of her life and move on, and Charlotte applauds that sentiment and points out that if she ends up really hating her new apartment, she can always sell it.
Later, Carrie is in her SATC pad, reading a book when she suddenly cries, "This isn't healthy!"
Rock and Lily tell Charlotte they no longer want her frilly doll collection in their bedroom, and complain that the dolls' outfits are culturally inappropriate. Rock adds that they also want to get rid of the fancy Rose mural that's painted above their bed and get a much shorter haircut, and a flustered Charlotte says they're going to have to put a pin in this discussion 'cause they're running late for school.
Miranda is in class, day dreaming about Che's finger banging, when Nya pulls her out of her reverie and invites her to grab a cup of coffee. The two stroll in a nearby park as Nya recruits her to volunteer her time for an upcoming renovation project of a women's shelter...and is showing her some photos of the project on her phone when her husband Andre calls to give her a heads up that he arranged for them to have dinner with another couple they sometimes hang out with. After the call, Nya rolls her eyes and tells Miranda that the wife of this other couple, Fertile Myrtle, always manages to find a way to interject the topic of babies into the conversation - a habit which she finds deeply annoying. Miranda points out that since she's not exactly the shy type, she should do more to control the conversation. She then asks what Fertile Myrtle's real name is, and Nya wryly tells her it's Myrtle, as in 'she was conceived in Myrtle Beach'. Har har!
Over lunch, Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte she's not sure she can live so close to the water, complains that she doesn't absolutely loooove the downtown apartment, but purchased it regardless 'cause she's been dragging Seema all over the city and has concluded that the problem isn't so much the apartments she's seen than it is her chronic indecision. Miranda asks Carrie why she doesn't just continue living in her SATC apartment if she's happy there, and Carrie questions if, by staying in the same place she lived for six seasons of Sex and the City, she's living or retreating...and also doesn't want to be one of those annoying New Yorkers who boast about having lived in the same place for the last fifty years. She declares that since Big is now gone, she needs to start a new chapter of her life and move on, and Charlotte applauds that sentiment and points out that if she ends up really hating her new apartment, she can always sell it.
Later, Carrie is in her SATC pad, reading a book when she suddenly cries, "This isn't healthy!"
Rock and Lily tell Charlotte they no longer want her frilly doll collection in their bedroom, and complain that the dolls' outfits are culturally inappropriate. Rock adds that they also want to get rid of the fancy Rose mural that's painted above their bed and get a much shorter haircut, and a flustered Charlotte says they're going to have to put a pin in this discussion 'cause they're running late for school.
Miranda is in class, day dreaming about Che's finger banging, when Nya pulls her out of her reverie and invites her to grab a cup of coffee. The two stroll in a nearby park as Nya recruits her to volunteer her time for an upcoming renovation project of a women's shelter...and is showing her some photos of the project on her phone when her husband Andre calls to give her a heads up that he arranged for them to have dinner with another couple they sometimes hang out with. After the call, Nya rolls her eyes and tells Miranda that the wife of this other couple, Fertile Myrtle, always manages to find a way to interject the topic of babies into the conversation - a habit which she finds deeply annoying. Miranda points out that since she's not exactly the shy type, she should do more to control the conversation. She then asks what Fertile Myrtle's real name is, and Nya wryly tells her it's Myrtle, as in 'she was conceived in Myrtle Beach'. Har har!
"I can't get Myrtle to shut up about babies."
"You should steer the conversation to the unspoken shittiness that is parenting. I'd be happy to supply you with ample material."
Seema takes Carrie to an upscale sari shop to buy herself a new Diwali outfit...and when Carrie asks exactly what Diwali is, Seema says it's mostly an opportunity to get together with her parents so they can inquire as to why she's not yet married. She glumly adds that she'll dutifully buy herself a stunning sari and attend yet another family Diwali alone. When Carrie suggests she tag along as her plus one, Seema happily replies, "Let's get you a sari!" and assures her that a non-Indian woman such as herself wearing a sari to her family's event is less cultural appropriation than it is cultural appreciation. A relieved Carrie squeals happily and says she did just happen to spot a sari she looooooves.
Carrie brings Charlotte along to her storage unit to pick up a few necessities for her move to her sunny new downtown digs. As the two roam amid the many boxes, Charlotte suggests she only take things that "spark joy". To that end, Carrie OK's a plastic yellow lamp and a large sun hat...then mutters, "Oh shit" when she unwittingly opens a box containing Big's record collection. She immediately becomes engulfed by sadness and tells Charlotte she's not ready for this, then picks up a frying pan and says she thinks she has enough stuff to start her new life in Sunnydale.
Carrie is in her new apartment, making herself something to eat in the kitchen, when she hears an electronic beeping noise. Mystified, she looks around and checks the various appliances, but the beeping continues. A few seconds later, Anthony calls to ask her to please accompany him to a his and his face-lift consultation that he and Stanford had had planned, and explains that he needs a friend to keep him from agreeing to do anything beyond getting his face back to "hot, slightly older guy".
Nya and her husband Andre are out to dinner with Myrtle and her husband...and Nya works overtime cutting off Myrtle every time she opens her mouth. She's forced to throw in the towel when Myrtle declines a Mohito and happily announces that she's pregnant with her third child. She clucks sympathetically at Nya and Andre and condescendingly asks them how their barren existence is going, and they tell her that, "We just doing our thing" ... but then Nya remarks on about how expensive IVF treatments are and that they're very hard on her body. Myrtle's husband stares blankly at them and cluelessly rejoins, "A couple like you...you gotta have babies."
Miranda is laying in her bed, pleasuring herself, when Brady knocks on her bedroom door. Near orgasm, she sings, "I'll be right ouuuuuut!" - and a perplexed Brady says he just wanted to let her know he's going out to meet up with Luisa. Nya and Andre, meanwhile, are enjoying vigorous sex...and after climaxing, the two enjoy some post coitus canoodling and chuckle about the way Nya kept cutting Myrtle off 'cause of how fed up she is about talking about babies.
Carrie is laying in her bed with her sunglasses on 'cause of how insanely bright and sunny her new apartment is. I wonder if it's occurred to her that she can have window blinds installed. As the electronic beeping noise continues, she cries, "This isn't working!"
At the his and his face-lift consultation, Dr. Paul David assumes that Carrie's the one who wants her face re-worked. When she points to Anthony as the consultee du jour, he apologizes about the mix-up, gives Anthony a quick once over, and says that aside from a shot of botox, his handsome face really doesn't require any work. Carrie says that, since she's here she'd like to have her horsey mug professionally assessed after all...and he wanks her about looking a little tired but otherwise beautiful and fake estimates her age at 48 or 49. After that, he takes a 3D image of her face and offers her several after simulations that reflect a wide range of options: botox, laser work, a full face and neck lift. He says that a total face redo could potentially erase the last fifteen years...and Carrie looks intrigued by the prospect and asks, "How much?"
Carrie brings Charlotte along to her storage unit to pick up a few necessities for her move to her sunny new downtown digs. As the two roam amid the many boxes, Charlotte suggests she only take things that "spark joy". To that end, Carrie OK's a plastic yellow lamp and a large sun hat...then mutters, "Oh shit" when she unwittingly opens a box containing Big's record collection. She immediately becomes engulfed by sadness and tells Charlotte she's not ready for this, then picks up a frying pan and says she thinks she has enough stuff to start her new life in Sunnydale.
Carrie is in her new apartment, making herself something to eat in the kitchen, when she hears an electronic beeping noise. Mystified, she looks around and checks the various appliances, but the beeping continues. A few seconds later, Anthony calls to ask her to please accompany him to a his and his face-lift consultation that he and Stanford had had planned, and explains that he needs a friend to keep him from agreeing to do anything beyond getting his face back to "hot, slightly older guy".
Nya and her husband Andre are out to dinner with Myrtle and her husband...and Nya works overtime cutting off Myrtle every time she opens her mouth. She's forced to throw in the towel when Myrtle declines a Mohito and happily announces that she's pregnant with her third child. She clucks sympathetically at Nya and Andre and condescendingly asks them how their barren existence is going, and they tell her that, "We just doing our thing" ... but then Nya remarks on about how expensive IVF treatments are and that they're very hard on her body. Myrtle's husband stares blankly at them and cluelessly rejoins, "A couple like you...you gotta have babies."
Miranda is laying in her bed, pleasuring herself, when Brady knocks on her bedroom door. Near orgasm, she sings, "I'll be right ouuuuuut!" - and a perplexed Brady says he just wanted to let her know he's going out to meet up with Luisa. Nya and Andre, meanwhile, are enjoying vigorous sex...and after climaxing, the two enjoy some post coitus canoodling and chuckle about the way Nya kept cutting Myrtle off 'cause of how fed up she is about talking about babies.
Carrie is laying in her bed with her sunglasses on 'cause of how insanely bright and sunny her new apartment is. I wonder if it's occurred to her that she can have window blinds installed. As the electronic beeping noise continues, she cries, "This isn't working!"
At the his and his face-lift consultation, Dr. Paul David assumes that Carrie's the one who wants her face re-worked. When she points to Anthony as the consultee du jour, he apologizes about the mix-up, gives Anthony a quick once over, and says that aside from a shot of botox, his handsome face really doesn't require any work. Carrie says that, since she's here she'd like to have her horsey mug professionally assessed after all...and he wanks her about looking a little tired but otherwise beautiful and fake estimates her age at 48 or 49. After that, he takes a 3D image of her face and offers her several after simulations that reflect a wide range of options: botox, laser work, a full face and neck lift. He says that a total face redo could potentially erase the last fifteen years...and Carrie looks intrigued by the prospect and asks, "How much?"
"Even though you're clearly a spry twenty-year old, you may want to consider a full face and neck lift."
"Yes and yes."
While gathered around a picnic table in the park, Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte about maybe getting a face lift. Miranda says she's irked at Dr. David for even encouraging her to get plastic surgery and thereby perpetuating the notion that women aren't allowed to age - while Charlotte argues that botox and "a little filler" are not the end of world. When Carrie tells them to shut it, Miranda announces that she's replaced her daily booze guzzling with obsessive masturbation...and when Charlotte asks who she fantasizes about, she comes right out and says Che. Charlotte says she totally gets that, given Che's coolness and charisma (um, seriously?), and admits that she herself had a vague, borderline-sexual fantasy about Che that involved a ferry. Miranda cautions Charlotte to not have a freakout at what she's about to say, then reveals that Che recently finger banged her in Carrie's kitchen while they both thought Carrie was asleep. When a stunned Charlotte's all, "Wha-a-a-a-a??!!" and stares at Carrie accusingly for not dishing about this with her, Miranda says that she and Carrie have already had a fight about it and are fine now. Carrie argues that she's not actually fine about it...and as Miranda scrunches her face confusedly at that declaration, Charlotte derisively asks, "Are you gay now?", and points out that she's spent her life sleeping with men, got married to a man, and is abruptly abandoning her hetero lifestyle to pursue a non-binary affair. Miranda dreamily says that the finger banging was the most alive she's felt in years, and that "everything about them made me feel alive". Charlotte's all, "Them?! There are others??" - LOL - so Carrie explains that by them, Miranda is referencing Che's non-binary pronoun. A bewildered Charlotte blurts out, "You are not progressive enough for this!!" and says that if she's going through a mid-life crisis, the more appropriate course of action would be to color the grey out of her hair. Miranda snarls, "I don't have to take this shit" and gets up and starts storming off, prompting Carrie to rush after her and point out that this reboot can't afford to lose a second member of SATC's original foursome, and that she's allowed to disagree with Charlotte but definitely not leave. Miranda chews on that for a few seconds and returns to the picnic table, where a now contrite Charlotte apologizes for her bitchy outburst and says that she merely wants to better understand this contrived story arc. Miranda wryly says she'll be happy to explain it to her once she fully understands her sudden bi-sexual metamorphosis, and a tortured Charlotte asks why they all can't stay exactly the way they were during the six year run of SATC. Carrie sadly retorts that some of them don't have that luxury.
"You aren't progressive enough to be this experimental when it comes to sex!"
"I know, but with Samantha pulling a no-show, I had to step up and fill that niche."
Carrie is dressed and primped for Diwali, and has a small sea of fluffy red carnations woven into her old lady braid hairdo. She flounces down the front steps of her building and climbs into the back of Seema's car.
Seema's parents look delighted that their daughter has brought a friend to Dawali and ask Carrie whassup with Dennis, aka Seema's fictional boyfriend who's conveniently never around 'cause he fake works for Doctors Without Borders. They worriedly ask if Seema is embarrassed to introduce him to her family or vice versa, and Carrie assures them that that couldn't be further from the truth, and that while Dennis is handsome and awesome, it's hard to find a man who's anywhere near good enough for their spectacular daughter. Seema ambles over to ask what they're talking about, so Carrie tells her she's let her parents know that the jig is up about how much better she can do than her made up boyfriend, Dennis.
Later, in the back of the car, Seema explains to Carrie that it's easier for all concerned for her to tell her parents she has a boyfriend than to constantly have to explain why she's single. She says she's mostly happy with her life - but other times feels like it's wishful thinking 'cause of how much happier she'd be if she had a life partner. Carrie swiftly changes the topic to her sunny new apartment and says she haaaates it, and Seema says they'll sell it 'cause it's important for her to love where she lives. She then gives Carrie a bracelet that, in accordance with Hindu custom, is a reminder of one's strength.
Later, Carrie stares at her tired looking mug in the mirror and puts on her Carrie necklace, narrating "And just like that...I remembered how much I loved the last fifteen years." She then puts on a record from Big's collection...and while Johnny Nash's I Can See Clearly Now plays, Carrie unpacks a box of Big's suits, stares at them wistfully for several seconds, and selects a black blazer. While that's happening, Charlotte is packing up her cherished doll collection from her daughters' bedroom, noticing that Rock has taped a poster over the painted Rose mural. As she smiles approvingly, Miranda texts Che and says she's totes up for another finger banging sometime soon...while Carrie goes out for the evening wearing a fancy red dress with Big's black blazer draped across her shoulders.
Seema's parents look delighted that their daughter has brought a friend to Dawali and ask Carrie whassup with Dennis, aka Seema's fictional boyfriend who's conveniently never around 'cause he fake works for Doctors Without Borders. They worriedly ask if Seema is embarrassed to introduce him to her family or vice versa, and Carrie assures them that that couldn't be further from the truth, and that while Dennis is handsome and awesome, it's hard to find a man who's anywhere near good enough for their spectacular daughter. Seema ambles over to ask what they're talking about, so Carrie tells her she's let her parents know that the jig is up about how much better she can do than her made up boyfriend, Dennis.
Later, in the back of the car, Seema explains to Carrie that it's easier for all concerned for her to tell her parents she has a boyfriend than to constantly have to explain why she's single. She says she's mostly happy with her life - but other times feels like it's wishful thinking 'cause of how much happier she'd be if she had a life partner. Carrie swiftly changes the topic to her sunny new apartment and says she haaaates it, and Seema says they'll sell it 'cause it's important for her to love where she lives. She then gives Carrie a bracelet that, in accordance with Hindu custom, is a reminder of one's strength.
Later, Carrie stares at her tired looking mug in the mirror and puts on her Carrie necklace, narrating "And just like that...I remembered how much I loved the last fifteen years." She then puts on a record from Big's collection...and while Johnny Nash's I Can See Clearly Now plays, Carrie unpacks a box of Big's suits, stares at them wistfully for several seconds, and selects a black blazer. While that's happening, Charlotte is packing up her cherished doll collection from her daughters' bedroom, noticing that Rock has taped a poster over the painted Rose mural. As she smiles approvingly, Miranda texts Che and says she's totes up for another finger banging sometime soon...while Carrie goes out for the evening wearing a fancy red dress with Big's black blazer draped across her shoulders.
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Charlotte's newest responsibility is functioning as Carrie's human bathroom railing
"Tragically Hip"
Original airdate: 12/30/2021
Episode summary: Carrie gets hip surgery to correct a congenital birth defect. Che finger bangs Miranda and brings her to an unprecedentedly intense orgasm. Rose announces a sudden name change.
Original airdate: 12/30/2021
Episode summary: Carrie gets hip surgery to correct a congenital birth defect. Che finger bangs Miranda and brings her to an unprecedentedly intense orgasm. Rose announces a sudden name change.
Recap: Seema accompanies Carrie to her old SATC apartment and is all 'the hell?' as she watches Carrie use her umbrella as a cane to aid with her hobbling up the staircase. Carrie explains that, according to the Internet, she suffers from old lady back [no doubt to match her severe old lady hair braid hairdo] ... and Seema rolls her eyes and asks, "But what does your orthopedist say?", then promptly makes a call to her orthopedist cousin to squeeze in an appointment for Carrie that afternoon.
After taking various x-rays, Dr. Vikash Patel informs Carrie that she has an undiagnosed congenital birth defect on her hip, and that he can correct the problem surgically and get her back on her feet in a few months.
After taking various x-rays, Dr. Vikash Patel informs Carrie that she has an undiagnosed congenital birth defect on her hip, and that he can correct the problem surgically and get her back on her feet in a few months.
"We can surgically correct your old lady back problem."
"I'm very disappointed in Dr. Internet for never once mentioning this to me."
Over lunch with Miranda, Charlotte, and Anthony, Carrie reports that since she has a birth defect on her hip, she's technically not an old lady after all - but Charlotte argues that any kind of hip surgery is, by default, an old lady thing. Anthony quips about Carrie's good fortune in finding an archeologist who's willing to carve her open and properly re-connect her fossils...and as Carrie giggles in response, Miranda exclaims, "This calls for champagne!" Charlotte's all, "Nooo!" and primly says it's much too early to start boozing, then takes out her iPad so she can show everyone the Excel spreadsheet she created to track their rotating shifts in order to collectively nurse Carrie back to health after her hip surgery.
Charlotte is in the kitchen on a Zoom call with the other moms, discussing an upcoming field trip, when one of the moms mentions how funny Rock was in the school play...and Charlotte's all, "Wuh? Who the hell's Rock?" as the other moms are all, "Ack!" and hastily sign off. A few seconds later, Lisa calls Charlotte to explain that Rose has told everyone at school she's now going by Rock...and has no further details about the sudden name change.
Charlotte marches into the living room, where Harry and the girls are playing a video game. She comes right out and asks Rose if she suddenly changed her name to Rock, and Rose/Rock confirms she did, and that the official announcement was issued on one of her recent TikTok videos. She pulls up the video on her phone and hands it to Harry, so that he and Charlotte can watch Rock rap about being "the new kid on the block" and then needlessly spell out the word R-O-C-K. A befuddled Harry's all, "Wha-a-at is happening?" and asks his daughter if she's a rapper now, and Rose/Rock explains that these days she's feeling way more Rock than Rose, and that even the teachers are cool with the new name...and what might soon become a permanent non-binary gender status.
Charlotte is in the kitchen on a Zoom call with the other moms, discussing an upcoming field trip, when one of the moms mentions how funny Rock was in the school play...and Charlotte's all, "Wuh? Who the hell's Rock?" as the other moms are all, "Ack!" and hastily sign off. A few seconds later, Lisa calls Charlotte to explain that Rose has told everyone at school she's now going by Rock...and has no further details about the sudden name change.
Charlotte marches into the living room, where Harry and the girls are playing a video game. She comes right out and asks Rose if she suddenly changed her name to Rock, and Rose/Rock confirms she did, and that the official announcement was issued on one of her recent TikTok videos. She pulls up the video on her phone and hands it to Harry, so that he and Charlotte can watch Rock rap about being "the new kid on the block" and then needlessly spell out the word R-O-C-K. A befuddled Harry's all, "Wha-a-at is happening?" and asks his daughter if she's a rapper now, and Rose/Rock explains that these days she's feeling way more Rock than Rose, and that even the teachers are cool with the new name...and what might soon become a permanent non-binary gender status.
"You didn't think to mention to us that you've suddenly changed your name to Rock?"
"Duh. Tap into my TikTok sometime."
Luisa ambles into the living room while Miranda is opening a pile of newly arrived Amazon packages...and finds socks and Astroglide lubricant in one of them. Luisa sheepishly takes the socks and Astroglide says she meant to intercept that particular package, then gushes to Miranda about how cool she is about receiving her son's girlfriends' vaginal lubricant in the mail - unlike her mother, who would have choked her to death with her rosary [but yet is somehow OK with her daughter sleeping at her boyfriend's house every night]. Miranda opens another Amazon package, which contains a stop drinking now! book titled Quit Like a Woman. When Luisa gets nosy about what book she ordered, a visibly rattled Miranda insists that the book was mistakenly delivered, 'cause she doesn't yet think that addressing her daily drinking habit is something with which she needs to concern herself.
Carrie arrives at the speciality surgical center with Miranda, who complains that Charlotte - who's the likeliest culprit on account of her judgeyness about binge drinking - cheekily sent her the stop drinking now! book without first talking to her about it. Carrie comes right out and asks her if she thinks she needs to "quit like a woman", and Miranda retorts with an emphatic no, then wanders off to go buy herself a cup of coffee.
While sitting by Carrie's bedside following the surgery, Charlotte asks Miranda if she ever wished she weren't a girl, then explains that she's going through some gender identity issues with Rose. A few seconds later, Carrie wakes up and announces that she has to pee, so the two help her out of bed...and as Charlotte helps her shuffle over to the toilet, Miranda answers Carrie's phone when it starts ringing and visibly perks up when the caller is Che, who dropped by with some food for Carrie. She invites Che, who's in the hospital lobby, to come right up to Carrie's room - but Carrie vetos the dinner drop-off and makes it clear that she's not in the mood to see anyone other than the two of them and instructs her to "please make that Che visit not happen".
Miranda heads down to the lobby to head Che off, and the two end up eating the dinner food in the cafeteria. Che natters about how much healthier they are after (years ago) being diagnosed with diverticulitis - which, incidentally, her father assumed was another term for bisexuality - and adds that Cheryl used to hold everything in and was consumed with unhappiness and shame to the point where she was emotionally and literally constipated. Che, on the other hand, lets it all out by living and speaking their whole truth every minute of every day. An entranced looking Miranda chews on that for a few seconds and says she used to feel trapped working at a law firm, then freed herself by quitting 'cause she figured 'life's too short'.
Carrie arrives at the speciality surgical center with Miranda, who complains that Charlotte - who's the likeliest culprit on account of her judgeyness about binge drinking - cheekily sent her the stop drinking now! book without first talking to her about it. Carrie comes right out and asks her if she thinks she needs to "quit like a woman", and Miranda retorts with an emphatic no, then wanders off to go buy herself a cup of coffee.
While sitting by Carrie's bedside following the surgery, Charlotte asks Miranda if she ever wished she weren't a girl, then explains that she's going through some gender identity issues with Rose. A few seconds later, Carrie wakes up and announces that she has to pee, so the two help her out of bed...and as Charlotte helps her shuffle over to the toilet, Miranda answers Carrie's phone when it starts ringing and visibly perks up when the caller is Che, who dropped by with some food for Carrie. She invites Che, who's in the hospital lobby, to come right up to Carrie's room - but Carrie vetos the dinner drop-off and makes it clear that she's not in the mood to see anyone other than the two of them and instructs her to "please make that Che visit not happen".
Miranda heads down to the lobby to head Che off, and the two end up eating the dinner food in the cafeteria. Che natters about how much healthier they are after (years ago) being diagnosed with diverticulitis - which, incidentally, her father assumed was another term for bisexuality - and adds that Cheryl used to hold everything in and was consumed with unhappiness and shame to the point where she was emotionally and literally constipated. Che, on the other hand, lets it all out by living and speaking their whole truth every minute of every day. An entranced looking Miranda chews on that for a few seconds and says she used to feel trapped working at a law firm, then freed herself by quitting 'cause she figured 'life's too short'.
"When I identified as Cheryl I was super constipated."
"Even your shit problems enchant me."
Anthony transports Carrie home via his Hot Fellas bread delivery van, and orders one of his muscular deliverers to carry her up the stairs and deposit her inside her apartment.
Later, Carrie podcasts with Che and Jackie from her apartment while looped on painkillers, and is gabbling in blechy detail about the time Samantha Jones reached into her cooch and pulled out her stuck diaphragm. After signing off, she tells Charlotte she finally feels like she's getting the hang of being a raunch podcaster...and a bewildered looking Charlotte asks her if she fully realizes she identified Samantha by her first and last name as she regaled listeners with her 'I once got my diaphragm stuck in my cooch' story, and advises her to come clean to Samantha before she hears about it from someone else.
Harry and Charlotte are meeting with Rose's teacher and the school principal about their daughter's name change to Rock. Charlotte makes it clear that she's not resistant to her daughter's gender identity issues, but wants to know how seriously she should be taking this. The principal responds by insisting that she's extremely committed to providing a supportive environment for all genders, that they're all on this journey together, and that Rock has been very clear about their new non-binary status. After the meeting, Harry and Charlotte look grim as they walk down the hall towards the exit. Harry says he's not sure he buys his twelve year old's sudden name/gender change...then sadly adds that having other people tell him about his child has, so far, been his most humbling experience as a father.
Miranda is babysitting a napping Carrie when Che drops by Carrie's apartment with a bottle of tequila and a more professional microphone to use while podcasting from home. Miranda invites them in, and the two hang out in the kitchen, giggling while throwing back tequila shots...and soon the giggling devolves into Che once again sensually shotgunning Miranda's face with pot smoke. Carrie, meanwhile, wakes up with an urgent need to pee - just as Che starts finger banging Miranda with one hand while covering her mouth with the other so that Miranda doesn't loudly shriek out her orgasm. Carrie sees the two going at it through a reflection in her full length mirror, then gasps in horror and dramatically turns her face away. She then glances over at the Snapple bottle on her nightstand and decides to use that as a makeshift bedpan - just as Che finishes off Miranda, who breathlessly declares that that climax was the best feeling she's ever had in her life. A flustered Carrie accidentally knocks over the pee-filled Snapple bottle and soaks the bedsheets with her urine as Che tells Miranda she's off to perform their non-binary-centric comedy schtick. They give Miranda a long smooch and invite her to DM if she ever wants to "chill" like that again.
Later, Carrie podcasts with Che and Jackie from her apartment while looped on painkillers, and is gabbling in blechy detail about the time Samantha Jones reached into her cooch and pulled out her stuck diaphragm. After signing off, she tells Charlotte she finally feels like she's getting the hang of being a raunch podcaster...and a bewildered looking Charlotte asks her if she fully realizes she identified Samantha by her first and last name as she regaled listeners with her 'I once got my diaphragm stuck in my cooch' story, and advises her to come clean to Samantha before she hears about it from someone else.
Harry and Charlotte are meeting with Rose's teacher and the school principal about their daughter's name change to Rock. Charlotte makes it clear that she's not resistant to her daughter's gender identity issues, but wants to know how seriously she should be taking this. The principal responds by insisting that she's extremely committed to providing a supportive environment for all genders, that they're all on this journey together, and that Rock has been very clear about their new non-binary status. After the meeting, Harry and Charlotte look grim as they walk down the hall towards the exit. Harry says he's not sure he buys his twelve year old's sudden name/gender change...then sadly adds that having other people tell him about his child has, so far, been his most humbling experience as a father.
Miranda is babysitting a napping Carrie when Che drops by Carrie's apartment with a bottle of tequila and a more professional microphone to use while podcasting from home. Miranda invites them in, and the two hang out in the kitchen, giggling while throwing back tequila shots...and soon the giggling devolves into Che once again sensually shotgunning Miranda's face with pot smoke. Carrie, meanwhile, wakes up with an urgent need to pee - just as Che starts finger banging Miranda with one hand while covering her mouth with the other so that Miranda doesn't loudly shriek out her orgasm. Carrie sees the two going at it through a reflection in her full length mirror, then gasps in horror and dramatically turns her face away. She then glances over at the Snapple bottle on her nightstand and decides to use that as a makeshift bedpan - just as Che finishes off Miranda, who breathlessly declares that that climax was the best feeling she's ever had in her life. A flustered Carrie accidentally knocks over the pee-filled Snapple bottle and soaks the bedsheets with her urine as Che tells Miranda she's off to perform their non-binary-centric comedy schtick. They give Miranda a long smooch and invite her to DM if she ever wants to "chill" like that again.
"Muffle me harder!"
"That image is forever tattooed on my brain."
Miranda enters the bathroom...and as she sits on the toilet, a vexed Carrie snaps at her to close the door. Miranda's all, "I didn't know you were awake!", to which Carrie snidely retorts that she was woken up by her friend having sex in her kitchen with her podcast boss...and that she spilled pee all over her bed 'cause there was no one to help her hobble over to the bathroom so she could relieve herself. A flushed Miranda apologizes and sheepishly says she had no idea she was awake, and Carrie angrily asks her whassup with a married woman such as herself doing tequila shots in the middle of the afternoon while getting finger banged by Che. Miranda blurts out, "I'm unhappy!", calls herself trapped, and declares that she haaaaaates her marriage. She then bursts into tears and says wants something more out of life than being married to a half-deaf dullard like Steve, admits that she probably does drink [way way way] too much - but then insists that she could quit like that if she really believed she had a problem - and that she's never felt as orgasmic as she did with Che just now.
Carrie sends Samantha a text to let her know she blabbed to her podcast listeners about the time she pulled out her stuck diaphragm and hopes it's OK, and Samantha texts back "One of my finest hours". Carrie texts back, "I miss you" but gets no further reply.
Miranda is in her kitchen, making herself a cocktail while gigglingly listening to Carrie's podcast, when she gets an email message from Amazon, asking her how she liked her recent purchase of Quit Like a Woman. She stares anxiously into space, decides that maybe she does have a full blown binge drinking issue after all, and hastily dumps all of the booze in her house down the sink.
While sitting in the waiting room of Carrie's new physical therapist, Charlotte tells Carrie about The Rock Situation and that she's worried she might be under-reacting. She wonders if her daughter's name change is similar to when she was twelve and gave into peer pressure by getting a perm, and admits that she really hates having to call Rose Rock. Carrie assures her that her daughter is amaaaaaazing regardless of what happens with their gender identity, then points out that "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet". A few seconds later, Carrie is summoned to begin her physical therapy session with Travis, a ridiculously hot physiotherapist.
Travis asks Carrie what her physical therapy goals are, and she says she just has one: to get back to wearing heels. Travis mulls over that skimpy answer and says he'll get started with a lower body massage. Mmm...sounds heavenly.
After the appointment, Carrie tells the receptionist she'd like to book another session with Travis, but the receptionist informs her that her insurance plan doesn't cover physical therapy with a guy at that level of hotness, and that her appointment with Travis was a clerical error no one caught until afterwards. She then introduces Carrie to Emmett, a far less hot, disheveled physical therapist...and Carrie's like, "Nope" and tells the receptionist that she's willing to pay out of pocket for more Travis.
Carrie sends Samantha a text to let her know she blabbed to her podcast listeners about the time she pulled out her stuck diaphragm and hopes it's OK, and Samantha texts back "One of my finest hours". Carrie texts back, "I miss you" but gets no further reply.
Miranda is in her kitchen, making herself a cocktail while gigglingly listening to Carrie's podcast, when she gets an email message from Amazon, asking her how she liked her recent purchase of Quit Like a Woman. She stares anxiously into space, decides that maybe she does have a full blown binge drinking issue after all, and hastily dumps all of the booze in her house down the sink.
While sitting in the waiting room of Carrie's new physical therapist, Charlotte tells Carrie about The Rock Situation and that she's worried she might be under-reacting. She wonders if her daughter's name change is similar to when she was twelve and gave into peer pressure by getting a perm, and admits that she really hates having to call Rose Rock. Carrie assures her that her daughter is amaaaaaazing regardless of what happens with their gender identity, then points out that "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet". A few seconds later, Carrie is summoned to begin her physical therapy session with Travis, a ridiculously hot physiotherapist.
Travis asks Carrie what her physical therapy goals are, and she says she just has one: to get back to wearing heels. Travis mulls over that skimpy answer and says he'll get started with a lower body massage. Mmm...sounds heavenly.
After the appointment, Carrie tells the receptionist she'd like to book another session with Travis, but the receptionist informs her that her insurance plan doesn't cover physical therapy with a guy at that level of hotness, and that her appointment with Travis was a clerical error no one caught until afterwards. She then introduces Carrie to Emmett, a far less hot, disheveled physical therapist...and Carrie's like, "Nope" and tells the receptionist that she's willing to pay out of pocket for more Travis.
"I'd like to book more pleasure time with Travis please."
"Sorry, but your crap insurance plan only covers Emmett: the Travis of the poorly-insured."
Three months later, Carrie is flouncing around her apartment wearing a long glittery dress and a pair of stilettos on her feet, looking smugly thrilled to finally be back in heels.
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Miranda grapples with why she continues to tolerate her underage son having a live-in girlfriend
"Some of My Best Friends"
Original airdate: 12/23/2021
Episode summary: Carrie hires a realtor to sell the apartment she shared with Big. Lisa invites Charlotte and Harry to attend her husband's birthday party.
Original airdate: 12/23/2021
Episode summary: Carrie hires a realtor to sell the apartment she shared with Big. Lisa invites Charlotte and Harry to attend her husband's birthday party.
Recap: Carrie wakes up in her old SATC apartment, then gets out of bed and shuffles into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. Charlotte, meanwhile, is in a fancy café buying coffees...and is multitasking as she confirms Harry's colonoscopy on Friday. While that's happening, Lisa is in a different fancy café with her kids buying coffees...and when she and Charlotte meet up at the school, they chuckle when they realize they each bought the other a coffee.
Charlotte happily reports to a group of moms that she was able to book a school field trip to the Botanical Gardens and scored a personalized tour with a botany team that was recently profiled in New York Magazine. One of the other moms (Deirdre) suggests, instead of that, she could call her friend who runs an animal shelter on City Island so that the kids could get a tour and then play with the animals. A visibly irked Charlotte says she spent weeks chasing down the deaf, hard-to-reach botanists, so Deirdre back pedals and says that the animal shelter is just a backup idea...then explains that when she didn't receive a field trip update, she was afraid Charlotte had dropped the ball. Lisa interjects and tells Deidre that the update was included in an email chain and insists that Charlotte has never dropped a ball in her life. As Lisa steers Charlotte away from the mom group, she invites her to Herbert's birthday party and tells her to keep it on the down-low 'cause she's not inviting any of the other moms...and Charlotte squeals happily and says she'd like to return the favor by inviting her and Herbert over to meet her circle of friends. Lisa suggests Thursday evening, and Charlotte's like, "Perfect!" and then promptly postpones Harry's colonoscopy.
Miranda is standing in her kitchen, staring despondently into space, when Brady and Luisa bound into the room to get some breakfast. Brady's all, "You reek of weed, dude!" and Miranda irritably explains that she and her gal pals were at a comedy club last night along with a bunch of "alternative types" who were getting high all around them...and that she hasn't been able to bring herself to shower off the sensual pot cloud that Che shotgunned into her face. An amused looking Luisa says, "Miranda, come on. We're all grown-ups. We know pot when we smell it" ... and Miranda somehow refrains from reminding the impudent twit that 1) she's not a grown-up, and 2) she isn't entitled to any kind of explanation about an actual grown-up's personal pot stench just 'cause Brady's boning her in his bedroom every night.
Charlotte happily reports to a group of moms that she was able to book a school field trip to the Botanical Gardens and scored a personalized tour with a botany team that was recently profiled in New York Magazine. One of the other moms (Deirdre) suggests, instead of that, she could call her friend who runs an animal shelter on City Island so that the kids could get a tour and then play with the animals. A visibly irked Charlotte says she spent weeks chasing down the deaf, hard-to-reach botanists, so Deirdre back pedals and says that the animal shelter is just a backup idea...then explains that when she didn't receive a field trip update, she was afraid Charlotte had dropped the ball. Lisa interjects and tells Deidre that the update was included in an email chain and insists that Charlotte has never dropped a ball in her life. As Lisa steers Charlotte away from the mom group, she invites her to Herbert's birthday party and tells her to keep it on the down-low 'cause she's not inviting any of the other moms...and Charlotte squeals happily and says she'd like to return the favor by inviting her and Herbert over to meet her circle of friends. Lisa suggests Thursday evening, and Charlotte's like, "Perfect!" and then promptly postpones Harry's colonoscopy.
Miranda is standing in her kitchen, staring despondently into space, when Brady and Luisa bound into the room to get some breakfast. Brady's all, "You reek of weed, dude!" and Miranda irritably explains that she and her gal pals were at a comedy club last night along with a bunch of "alternative types" who were getting high all around them...and that she hasn't been able to bring herself to shower off the sensual pot cloud that Che shotgunned into her face. An amused looking Luisa says, "Miranda, come on. We're all grown-ups. We know pot when we smell it" ... and Miranda somehow refrains from reminding the impudent twit that 1) she's not a grown-up, and 2) she isn't entitled to any kind of explanation about an actual grown-up's personal pot stench just 'cause Brady's boning her in his bedroom every night.
"Since you're a total pothead now, let's share a toke sometime soon."
"Or we can do the opposite of that and never speak of this again."
Carrie is browsing her closet when she hears a strange noise coming from the kitchen, which turns out to be her coffee maker malfunctioning and spilling coffee everywhere. She then returns to her closet and decides on the bizarre combination of a striped shirt and a long white see-through tutu type skirt, then flounces over to the nearest convenience store to get a coffee. The clerk brightens at the sight of her, is all, "Long time no see" and asks her if she's enjoying married life...and she sadly shares that her husband recently died. The clerk sympathetically clucks, "Poor Caroline" and gives her a free coffee and roll. After that, Carrie returns to her marital apartment, wanders sadly from room to room, and stares mournfully at the Peloton that killed Big.
Over drinks, Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte that she half expected Big to be home when she returned to the apartment, and has made the decision to sell it. Miranda and Charlotte caution her about making any life-changing decisions while in mourning, but Carrie says she's all action and has already contacted a realtor and rid herself of the murderous Peloton. Charlotte changes the subject to the Thursday dinner party she's planning on inviting Lisa and Herbert to and wants the two of them to also attend. Miranda says she can make it, then shares that she's having dinner with her law professor (Nya) this week, and explains that after she gave a kick-ass argument in her law class, Nya invited her out to dinner to discuss it further. She then looks around for the waiter and says she wants to order another drink and suggests they get a bottle, and Charlotte's like, "Nooooo!! We're fine like this!" as Carrie raises her eyebrows in mild amusement.
Realtor Seema Patel arrives at Carrie's apartment, takes in the loud wallpapered decor and odd furniture choices, and declares it gorgeous but that it's all gotta go. LOL. When a bewildered Carrie's all, "Wha-a-a?", Seema explains that prospective buyers need to picture themselves living in the apartment without having to look past all the fugly wallpaper she somehow deems fashionable...and assures Carrie that her movers/stagers will take care of everything so she needn't lift a finger. When Seema wanders into the closet and marvels at its awesomeness, Carrie makes it clear that no one is to touch the shoes...and Seema says she totally gets that 'cause she's the kind of person who names each of her purses. She then glances around the "insane" spa bathroom and says it could use one thing to "pull this whole area into focus": a Peloton. Carrie stares at her despondently for a few seconds, breezily offers to explain her visceral reaction to the mention of a Peloton another time, then says she has to head off to Podcast Headquarters now. Seema offers the services of her driver, who can drop her off in Midtown.
Over drinks, Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte that she half expected Big to be home when she returned to the apartment, and has made the decision to sell it. Miranda and Charlotte caution her about making any life-changing decisions while in mourning, but Carrie says she's all action and has already contacted a realtor and rid herself of the murderous Peloton. Charlotte changes the subject to the Thursday dinner party she's planning on inviting Lisa and Herbert to and wants the two of them to also attend. Miranda says she can make it, then shares that she's having dinner with her law professor (Nya) this week, and explains that after she gave a kick-ass argument in her law class, Nya invited her out to dinner to discuss it further. She then looks around for the waiter and says she wants to order another drink and suggests they get a bottle, and Charlotte's like, "Nooooo!! We're fine like this!" as Carrie raises her eyebrows in mild amusement.
Realtor Seema Patel arrives at Carrie's apartment, takes in the loud wallpapered decor and odd furniture choices, and declares it gorgeous but that it's all gotta go. LOL. When a bewildered Carrie's all, "Wha-a-a?", Seema explains that prospective buyers need to picture themselves living in the apartment without having to look past all the fugly wallpaper she somehow deems fashionable...and assures Carrie that her movers/stagers will take care of everything so she needn't lift a finger. When Seema wanders into the closet and marvels at its awesomeness, Carrie makes it clear that no one is to touch the shoes...and Seema says she totally gets that 'cause she's the kind of person who names each of her purses. She then glances around the "insane" spa bathroom and says it could use one thing to "pull this whole area into focus": a Peloton. Carrie stares at her despondently for a few seconds, breezily offers to explain her visceral reaction to the mention of a Peloton another time, then says she has to head off to Podcast Headquarters now. Seema offers the services of her driver, who can drop her off in Midtown.
"Not everyone wants to live in an apartment with loud wallpaper accents in every room."
"That notion doesn't compute."
Carrie sniffs the back of Seema's car and asks her if she smokes, and Seema admits that, yep, she lights up once in awhile when she's alone. Carrie says she used to smoke, then accepts a cigarette while explaining that it's been a rough few weeks. As the two ride off to Midtown, Carrie sticks her face out of the window [the way my dog likes to do] while sadly puffing away on her cigarette.
Podcast manager Chloe admonishes Carrie and Jackie for not keeping their social media accounts more up to date, and tells Carrie that her Instagram has been "pretty much a corpse" for the last three weeks. As the room goes silent and the cute control booth guy warns Chloe to shut it, Chloe suddenly remembers Big's recent demise, winces, and blurts out, "Oh, fuck me! Fuck!" and apologizes to Carrie. Jackie chides Chloe for being so insensitive, and she snappishly retorts to not make this about them, and half-heartedly says it was fun while it lasted. She then turns her attention back to Carrie and says, "I'm sorry for your loss. Get your socials up." As she huffs off in her wheelchair, Jackie rushes out of the room after her and confronts her about the insanity of ghosting him when she knows she's going to see him the next day. Chloe suggests he try washing his bath towels more than once a year and wheels off with a protesting Jackie chasing after her. When the cute control booth guy remarks, "Young love", Che and Carrie chuckle about the spectacle being "not so young" and "not so love" ... and Che tells Carrie if it were them being berated by Chloe, they totally would have played the death card.
Charlotte informs Harry that she cancelled his colonoscopy 'cause she wants to have a dinner party for Lisa and Herbert in the hopes that she and Lisa can transition from being school mom friends to actual friends. She puts Harry on notice that since Lisa and Herbert are an accomplished, impressive couple, the two of them really need to "bring it" ... then looks alarmed when she glances over the guest list and realizes that Lisa and Herbert are going to be the only black people at her party. Harry suggests inviting their neighbours, the Jenkins, a very nice black couple they almost never hang out with, to give their party the kind of diversity she's looking for.
Charlotte channels her inner Stepford wife when she drops by the Jenkins' apartment to confirm with Shelly that she received her text message inviting her to her dinner party. Shelly wryly says she got all four of her texts and that she and her husband can't make it Thursday 'cause they're pretending they have dinner plans elsewhere. Charlotte suggests they drop by for drinks before dinner, then tells a clearly disinterested Shelly to text her and let her know if she can't make it...and a few seconds after Shelly shuts her door in her face, she sends Charlotte a 'nope, "can't" make it' text. Bwahahaha!!
Charlotte calls Anthony to ask about a painter he once dated, and Anthony's like, "Oh yeah, the hot black guy", then says he has no way to get in touch with him 'cause Stanford set his old address book on fire during a fit of jealous rage. Seems ridiculously out of character for lovable Stanny, but OK.
Charlotte runs into Deirdre in front of the school...and, in a last ditch effort to fake demonstrate to Lisa that her entire friendship circle isn't completely vanilla, she invites Deirdre and her husband to her dinner party. Deirdre tells her she'll check with Geoff/Joff(?) and ambles off - just as Lisa rushes over to tell Charlotte she can't make it to her Thursday dinner party 'cause she and Herbert have to go to the symphony with her mother-in-law, an engagement Herbert kept from her so he didn't have to hear her bitch about it all week. Charlotte breezily assures her it's no problem to reschedule - just as Deirdre runs over and says that she and Geoff/Joff(?) can make it on Thursday night. Charlotte tells her the dinner's been suddenly cancelled cause she forgot that Carrie has a colonoscopy on Friday morning, and a smug Deirdre cites that as proof that she does, in fact, drop the ball from time to time.
Miranda and Nya are at waiting in line for a table at a fancy restaurant...and after more than half an hour, Nya gets irked and snappishly tells the host that she made a reservation. She shows him the reservation receipt on her phone, so the host checks his computer and informs her that she reserved a table at their San Francisco location. Womp womp! When the two are eventually seated, Nya apologizes to Miranda for acting so nutty just then and explains that her brain has gone wiener from all the IVF treatments she's been undergoing. She then wonders aloud if motherhood is worth it, says that she and her husband loooove her vibrant child-less life, but worries that she'll regret never having kids. Miranda points out that there are always roads not taken in life, then tells her about a gal pal from Harvard Law School who never married or procreated and is now a federal judge. Nya wryly points out that this judge goes home to an empty house every night, and Miranda stares dreamily into space and says she looooves the idea of being a federal judge and going home to an empty house - but then is happy when she sees her son, though is instantly unhappy whenever he leaves his dirty underwear on her kitchen floor...which - ew - but isn't terribly surprising, given what a slob he is about leaving used condoms littered all over his bedroom. Nya asks if it's possible to have it all, and Miranda chews on that for a few seconds before saying it is, but that "it's just really fuckin' hard".
Podcast manager Chloe admonishes Carrie and Jackie for not keeping their social media accounts more up to date, and tells Carrie that her Instagram has been "pretty much a corpse" for the last three weeks. As the room goes silent and the cute control booth guy warns Chloe to shut it, Chloe suddenly remembers Big's recent demise, winces, and blurts out, "Oh, fuck me! Fuck!" and apologizes to Carrie. Jackie chides Chloe for being so insensitive, and she snappishly retorts to not make this about them, and half-heartedly says it was fun while it lasted. She then turns her attention back to Carrie and says, "I'm sorry for your loss. Get your socials up." As she huffs off in her wheelchair, Jackie rushes out of the room after her and confronts her about the insanity of ghosting him when she knows she's going to see him the next day. Chloe suggests he try washing his bath towels more than once a year and wheels off with a protesting Jackie chasing after her. When the cute control booth guy remarks, "Young love", Che and Carrie chuckle about the spectacle being "not so young" and "not so love" ... and Che tells Carrie if it were them being berated by Chloe, they totally would have played the death card.
Charlotte informs Harry that she cancelled his colonoscopy 'cause she wants to have a dinner party for Lisa and Herbert in the hopes that she and Lisa can transition from being school mom friends to actual friends. She puts Harry on notice that since Lisa and Herbert are an accomplished, impressive couple, the two of them really need to "bring it" ... then looks alarmed when she glances over the guest list and realizes that Lisa and Herbert are going to be the only black people at her party. Harry suggests inviting their neighbours, the Jenkins, a very nice black couple they almost never hang out with, to give their party the kind of diversity she's looking for.
Charlotte channels her inner Stepford wife when she drops by the Jenkins' apartment to confirm with Shelly that she received her text message inviting her to her dinner party. Shelly wryly says she got all four of her texts and that she and her husband can't make it Thursday 'cause they're pretending they have dinner plans elsewhere. Charlotte suggests they drop by for drinks before dinner, then tells a clearly disinterested Shelly to text her and let her know if she can't make it...and a few seconds after Shelly shuts her door in her face, she sends Charlotte a 'nope, "can't" make it' text. Bwahahaha!!
Charlotte calls Anthony to ask about a painter he once dated, and Anthony's like, "Oh yeah, the hot black guy", then says he has no way to get in touch with him 'cause Stanford set his old address book on fire during a fit of jealous rage. Seems ridiculously out of character for lovable Stanny, but OK.
Charlotte runs into Deirdre in front of the school...and, in a last ditch effort to fake demonstrate to Lisa that her entire friendship circle isn't completely vanilla, she invites Deirdre and her husband to her dinner party. Deirdre tells her she'll check with Geoff/Joff(?) and ambles off - just as Lisa rushes over to tell Charlotte she can't make it to her Thursday dinner party 'cause she and Herbert have to go to the symphony with her mother-in-law, an engagement Herbert kept from her so he didn't have to hear her bitch about it all week. Charlotte breezily assures her it's no problem to reschedule - just as Deirdre runs over and says that she and Geoff/Joff(?) can make it on Thursday night. Charlotte tells her the dinner's been suddenly cancelled cause she forgot that Carrie has a colonoscopy on Friday morning, and a smug Deirdre cites that as proof that she does, in fact, drop the ball from time to time.
Miranda and Nya are at waiting in line for a table at a fancy restaurant...and after more than half an hour, Nya gets irked and snappishly tells the host that she made a reservation. She shows him the reservation receipt on her phone, so the host checks his computer and informs her that she reserved a table at their San Francisco location. Womp womp! When the two are eventually seated, Nya apologizes to Miranda for acting so nutty just then and explains that her brain has gone wiener from all the IVF treatments she's been undergoing. She then wonders aloud if motherhood is worth it, says that she and her husband loooove her vibrant child-less life, but worries that she'll regret never having kids. Miranda points out that there are always roads not taken in life, then tells her about a gal pal from Harvard Law School who never married or procreated and is now a federal judge. Nya wryly points out that this judge goes home to an empty house every night, and Miranda stares dreamily into space and says she looooves the idea of being a federal judge and going home to an empty house - but then is happy when she sees her son, though is instantly unhappy whenever he leaves his dirty underwear on her kitchen floor...which - ew - but isn't terribly surprising, given what a slob he is about leaving used condoms littered all over his bedroom. Nya asks if it's possible to have it all, and Miranda chews on that for a few seconds before saying it is, but that "it's just really fuckin' hard".
"Single employed women who have no kids go home every night to an empty house."
"Sounds like a dream come true."
Carrie and Seema are at an open house of a sunny, spacious downtown apartment, and Carrie motions at the motorcycle the owner left on display in the living room and jokes about how, generally speaking, back in the day she's pretty sure she used to date the now fifty year old guy who owns this place. Seema admits that she's still dating the figurative man-child and tells Carrie to feel free to introduce her to any available man she might know who has a good heart. She excuses herself to say bye to the realtor showing the place - just as a man who screams 'mid-life crisis' approaches Carrie to needlessly inform her that he's considering making an offer on the apartment. He adds that he's recently divorced, is looking to relocate downtown, and asks a horrified looking Carrie if she wants to check out the bedroom - just as Seema reappears to save Carrie by announcing that they're off to grab some lunch. Carrie jokes to Seema that she was pretty close to fleeing via the motorcycle and calls Mr. Mid-life Crisis "your worst nightmare".
Over lunch, Seema shows Carrie the various worst nightmares she's been swiping on all the dating apps she's registered herself on. She then wistfully tells Carrie she just wants a dating app that can deliver the man she's been searching for her whole life, and Carrie condescendingly says she thinks it's great that she's still putting herself out there.
While en route to Lisa's/Herbert's apartment, Charlotte asks Harry if he read the article on black literature she assigned him in advance of Herbert's birthday party so he can bring his "A game", then quizzes him on famous African-American authors...and Harry refrains from telling her to chill the fuck out already about the prospect of spending the evening with a not entirely Caucasian crowd. When they arrive at the apartment, Lisa greets them and sends them into the living room to mingle with the (gasp!) all black party guests...and Charlotte makes a beeline over to a woman she thinks is an acquaintance from her daughters' school named Gwen, and is visibly mortified when the woman politely says she knows who Gwen is, but that she's Shawna, aka a friend of Lisa's. Harry tries to distract from the embarrassment of Charlotte worrying that everyone in the room now thinks she thinks every black woman looks the same by blurting out, "Has anyone read the new Zadie Smith book?" LOL.
Over lunch, Seema shows Carrie the various worst nightmares she's been swiping on all the dating apps she's registered herself on. She then wistfully tells Carrie she just wants a dating app that can deliver the man she's been searching for her whole life, and Carrie condescendingly says she thinks it's great that she's still putting herself out there.
While en route to Lisa's/Herbert's apartment, Charlotte asks Harry if he read the article on black literature she assigned him in advance of Herbert's birthday party so he can bring his "A game", then quizzes him on famous African-American authors...and Harry refrains from telling her to chill the fuck out already about the prospect of spending the evening with a not entirely Caucasian crowd. When they arrive at the apartment, Lisa greets them and sends them into the living room to mingle with the (gasp!) all black party guests...and Charlotte makes a beeline over to a woman she thinks is an acquaintance from her daughters' school named Gwen, and is visibly mortified when the woman politely says she knows who Gwen is, but that she's Shawna, aka a friend of Lisa's. Harry tries to distract from the embarrassment of Charlotte worrying that everyone in the room now thinks she thinks every black woman looks the same by blurting out, "Has anyone read the new Zadie Smith book?" LOL.
"I'm not Gwen, I'm Shawna."
"Are you absolutely certain?"
Carrie returns to her marital apartment, which has been staged and repainted to more sane, calming, neutral tones. She calls Miranda to report that the apartment is now very beige, and that it's so surreal there's no longer any sign that she and Big ever lived there. Miranda coos about how sorry she is, and Carrie says she finds herself drawn to Seema, who knows nothing of her pre-widow life, giving her the ability to pretend that none of the bad stuff in this reboot ever happened. Carrie then wanders over to the bathroom and sees that a new Peloton has been installed. She sighs and says, "I gotta get Big and go" 'cause neither belongs here anymore. She ends the phone call, picks up the box containing Big's ashes, and places it in a black Barney's bag before heading out.
Birthday party! After Herbert blows out his candles, Shawna asks Charlotte what she does, so Charlotte says she's a full-time mom and very active on the Events Committee at her daughters' school. Lisa interjects with some wankery about how not only is Charlotte is a stellar mom and killin' it at school, she's on the board of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Lisa's mother-in-law (Eunice) is all, "Hmm...so you know art" and says that her favorite art is Art Smith, aka her financial adviser...and that he told her Lisa and Herbert have spent more dough on the art in their apartment than she and her late husband spent on their first house. Charlotte explains that, in terms of an investment, she can't think of a better use of money than the art purchases Lisa has made, then points at the various paintings and photographs, likening one collection to "owning early sheet music by Beethoven". Charlotte concludes to Eunice that neither she nor Art Smith have anything to worry about, 'cause with Lisa's keen eye, the family finances are in very good hands...and as a newly impressed Eunice nods approvingly, Herbert suggests they get up and help themselves to some birthday cake. Lisa gives Charlotte a warm shoulder squeeze and thanks her for the reciprocated wanking.
Carrie returns to her SATC apartment, places Big's ashes on the top shelf of her closet, and mutters that she's only storing him there until she figures out where he'd really want to be. She then finds a card sitting by her phone, which she quickly discovers is a goodbye letter from Stanford, whose real life passing is explained by a sudden move to Tokyo to go on tour with a TikTok star he's been managing who's huge in Asia. [Seems a rather feeble sendoff for such a beloved SATC cast member, but OK.] A few seconds later, Anthony drops by to commiserate with Carrie about Stanny's abrupt departure and to reveal that he (Stanny) has asked for a divorce.
Over coffee, Charlotte admits to Lisa that she had a small panic attack when she realized that she and Herbert would be the only black couple at her dinner party...and Lisa admits that she was similarly worried she and Harry would be nervous being the only white couple at her dinner party. Charlotte winces and asks if they seemed nervous, and Lisa's like, "Well d'yuh", given that Harry was visibly sweating through his suit. Charlotte blames herself for pushing him so hard 'cause of how desperate she was to do everything right, and even invited Deirdre to her dinner party to diversify the guest list. Lisa quips, "OK, now you're doing the wrong thing" and asks Charlotte how she managed to get out of that...and when Charlotte says she pretended to drop a ball, Lisa toasts her for taking one for the team.
Birthday party! After Herbert blows out his candles, Shawna asks Charlotte what she does, so Charlotte says she's a full-time mom and very active on the Events Committee at her daughters' school. Lisa interjects with some wankery about how not only is Charlotte is a stellar mom and killin' it at school, she's on the board of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Lisa's mother-in-law (Eunice) is all, "Hmm...so you know art" and says that her favorite art is Art Smith, aka her financial adviser...and that he told her Lisa and Herbert have spent more dough on the art in their apartment than she and her late husband spent on their first house. Charlotte explains that, in terms of an investment, she can't think of a better use of money than the art purchases Lisa has made, then points at the various paintings and photographs, likening one collection to "owning early sheet music by Beethoven". Charlotte concludes to Eunice that neither she nor Art Smith have anything to worry about, 'cause with Lisa's keen eye, the family finances are in very good hands...and as a newly impressed Eunice nods approvingly, Herbert suggests they get up and help themselves to some birthday cake. Lisa gives Charlotte a warm shoulder squeeze and thanks her for the reciprocated wanking.
Carrie returns to her SATC apartment, places Big's ashes on the top shelf of her closet, and mutters that she's only storing him there until she figures out where he'd really want to be. She then finds a card sitting by her phone, which she quickly discovers is a goodbye letter from Stanford, whose real life passing is explained by a sudden move to Tokyo to go on tour with a TikTok star he's been managing who's huge in Asia. [Seems a rather feeble sendoff for such a beloved SATC cast member, but OK.] A few seconds later, Anthony drops by to commiserate with Carrie about Stanny's abrupt departure and to reveal that he (Stanny) has asked for a divorce.
Over coffee, Charlotte admits to Lisa that she had a small panic attack when she realized that she and Herbert would be the only black couple at her dinner party...and Lisa admits that she was similarly worried she and Harry would be nervous being the only white couple at her dinner party. Charlotte winces and asks if they seemed nervous, and Lisa's like, "Well d'yuh", given that Harry was visibly sweating through his suit. Charlotte blames herself for pushing him so hard 'cause of how desperate she was to do everything right, and even invited Deirdre to her dinner party to diversify the guest list. Lisa quips, "OK, now you're doing the wrong thing" and asks Charlotte how she managed to get out of that...and when Charlotte says she pretended to drop a ball, Lisa toasts her for taking one for the team.
"Did Harry seem nervous at your party?"
"He schvitzed like a pudding at a picnic."
Carrie meets up with Seema at her apartment (following an open house) with a bag of sushi takeout. Seema tells her that the open house garnered tons of interest that includes possible offers, and then informs her that she accidentally broke a framed photo that had been sitting on the night stand - but assures her she'll replace the frame. Carrie is aghast that the framed photo is one of her and Big, snarls that since Big (aka the love of her life) touched the glass every night it can't be replaced, and chides Seema for not appearing nearly sorry enough about the mishap. Seema assures Carrie she's trying to look as sorry as she can possibly muster and doesn't mean to seem insensitive about her situation, then calls her out on her insensitivity at lunch the other day. When Carrie just stares back at her blankly, Seema invokes the 'it's great you're still putting yourself out there' remark Carrie made, and says it was hurtful, given that she still hasn't found a man after searching for Mr. Right for so many years. Seema admits that maybe a teeny tiny part of her is envious of her for finding happiness with the love of her life, and a contrite Carrie says she didn't mean any offence by the casual remark. Seema accepts her apology, and the two chow down on some sushi while, according to Carrie, becoming real friends in the process.
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