And Just Like That.. - Season 2, Episode 5

"I'm here for my close-up - I mean Rock's close-up."

"Trick or Treat"
Original airdate: 7/13/2023

Episode summary: Rock is approached by a Ralph Lauren model scout. Carrie meets a cyclist, who injures himself in front of her. Che's TV pilot gets really negative feedback.

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Recap: When Miranda's alarm goes off at 5am, she apologizes to Che and explains that she has to sneak home and wake Brady at a decent hour - otherwise he'll sleep all day...and says this as if her son isn't an adult man who should be more than capable of getting himself out of bed. She then bumps into a chair and yelps in pain, prompting a sleepy Che to groan in annoyance.  

​A few hours later, Miranda is carving a pumpkin when Brady stumbles into the kitchen. She offers him a plate of pancakes, but he grumbles that it isn't necessary for her to keep up the facade of leaving Che's place at dawn in order to rush home to cook him breakfast. Miranda insists that she looooves doing it, then tells him she'd like them to join forces and decorate the stoop for Halloween. 

Later, Carrie and Miranda are strolling through Central Park en route to Charlotte's Halloween fundraiser. Miranda is not in costume, while Carrie claims that her (not uncharacteristically strange) outfit is a Helen Gurley Brown costume. As soon as they arrive at the venue, Charlotte chides them both for not coming in costume...and when she's called out on the very same thing, she claims that she's dressed up as Elizabeth Jennings from The Americans. As proof, she motions at Harry, who saunters over in a Phillip Jennings wig and jacket/jeans ensemble...which I have to admit kinda does resemble the incognito disguises of the fictional Russian spy. Charlotte explains to her friends that they're a husband and wife costume team.

Later, Nya (who came dressed as a sexy cat), complains about there being no hot black men at the fundraiser. Seema offers to take her to a high end hotel bar, which is apparently a goldmine for picking up single, rich men...and Carrie perks up at that and says she too would like to come. Herbert, meanwhile, arrives at the party in a tasteful suit and looks at his wife with dismay as she dirty dances with Anthony in her skimpy, nipple baring Frankenstein's Bride costume. When she asks him whaddup with him not wearing the George Washington costume she bought him, he says that as a candidate for City Comptroller, he didn't want to risk stepping out in public looking undignified.

Anthony hits on a good looking man he assumes is gay 'cause of the finely sculpted abs he's baring...and is shocked and embarrassed when the straight man's wife ambles over.

At the Wexley penthouse later that evening, Herbert emerges from the en suite bathroom wearing just the above-the-waist part of his George Washington costume. Lisa coos about how hot she finds him right now...and he mounts her before the two start getting it on. 

Charlotte and Harry are at home watching The Americans when Rock interrupts and announces that a modelling scout approached them in the skate park and wanted to know if they've ever considered modelling. Rock hands the business card to Charlotte, who squeals excitedly when she sees the Ralph Lauren logo. Rock joins in with the excited squealing and gushes about how they really really want to do the modelling gig - which seems wildly out of character for Rock - while Harry mumbles that the business card is probably fake and part of a larger scam. Charlotte points out that the business card is embossed, then chides Harry for letting his binge-watching of The Americans make him extraordinarily paranoid.

"It's a little weird seeing you get so insanely jazzed about doing a Ralph Lauren modelling photoshoot."

"I'll let this fake joy be my response to that fair point."

Over at the Mondrian Hotel, Seema, Carrie, and Nya are seated at the bar trolling for rich men...the way high-end prostitutes often do. Seema is promptly hit on by a gin producer, while Nya catches the eye of Ian, who sexily sashays over and offers to buy her a drink. Carrie, meanwhile, mumbles that she's off to play Wordle.

Seema brings the gin producer back to her place...and he informs her that he sometimes suffers from erectile dysfunction. He proceeds to pull out a penis pump and starts doing some inflating of his nether region. 

Over at Casa Che, Miranda is unable to get some much needed sleep with Che in the adjoining living room, loudly partying with a group of rowdy friends.

Carrie is strolling down the street when she gets a call from Seema, who tells her about the gin producer's penis pump. A few seconds later, a man in the bicycle lane comes barrelling towards Carrie and is yelling at her to move - but she's so flustered by the sight of the oncoming bicycle that she doesn't move out of the way in time...and for some inane reason the cyclist doesn't think to apply the brakes to prevent a needless accident and crashes. Carrie profusely apologizes to the injured stranger and offers to take him the nearby Urgent Care clinic...and he says that since his wrist is starting to swell, he has no choice but to take her up on it. 

While filling out the forms at the Urgent Care clinic, Carrie learns that the dumbass cyclist's name is George Campbell, and that he has a [business] partner named Paul, who 1) Carrie assumes is his gay lover, and 2) non-coincidentally calls a moment later to anxiously inquire about the status of their upcoming presentation. George tells Paul about stupidly crashing his bicycle...and a few seconds later, the receptionist tells George that the doctor is available to see him now.

Charlotte tells Harry that she and Rock had a Zoom meeting with the advertising team at Ralph Lauren and confirmed that the model scout was in fact legit, and that Rock has been invited to participate in a "family concept" style photoshoot. Rock re-emphasis how badly they want to model, and vows to use their earnings to plant trees in Israel. Harry continues to look unimpressed and insists that Ralph Lauren is somehow being exploitive, but Rock is all 'whatever' and tells him that Charlotte will be accompanying them to the shoot, which is guaranteed to be an awesome experience.

While in the waiting room at Urgent Care, Carrie calls Seema and says she's so worried about George Campbell suing her for crashing his bicycle that she's considering writing him a check to cover his medical expenses. Seema, meanwhile, updates her on Mr. Penis Pump, who apparently delivers great foreplay - but mediocre sex that usually entails her needing to finish herself off. A few seconds later, George emerges from the exam room with a cast on his broken wrist...and Carrie scrunches her face concernedly at the semi-serious injury, and then again when she overhears George's credit card get declined at the reception desk.

"Looks like you broke my wrist."

"If by me you mean your strange refusal to apply the brakes on your bicycle to easily avoid an accident, then sure."

Nya meets up with Miranda to cackle about her fabulous one night stand, and girlishly describe how vigorously she and Ian went at it all night long...and then when dawn finally broke, she sashayed home and leisurely slept. Miranda tells her she's jealous - mostly of the 'sleep' part of her story - then explains that she doesn't currently have a permanent home in which she can ever get a good night's sleep. Nya chews on that for a few seconds and invites her to crash in Andre's now defunct music room. 

When Carrie arrives at George's apartment with several bags of takeout, she looks stunned by the loft's ginormousness. Carrie hands him the food and offers her typing services to aid with his upcoming presentation, and George says that, weird as that is, he'll take her up on it.

Later, George assures Carrie that, even with a broken wrist, he's quite capable of cooking and/or ordering in...and explains that he's rich and has zero financial hardships (his declined credit card notwithstanding). As Carrie starts typing something on his laptop, he caresses her hand and leans in for a smooch...and while that's happening, Paul enters the apartment holding dry cleaning, looks less than thrilled to see George making out with Carrie, and brusquely announces, "It's game time." Carrie takes the hint that Paul is not remotely interested in exchanging niceties with her and wisely beats a hasty retreat. 

While out for an extremely spicy dinner, Che tells Miranda that the TV pilot is about to undergo testing by a randomly chosen focus group...and Che seems somehow unconcerned about what kind of career-ending feedback that could bring about. Miranda shares that she's going to be moving into Nya's spare room, not least 'cause Nya's apartment is very close to Brady's/Steve's townhouse, and that she's desperate to finally get a good night's sleep.

A beaming Charlotte and Rock arrive at the Ralph Lauren photoshoot, and the stylist greets them and asks Charlotte if she's really actually truly decked out from head to toe in vintage Ralph Lauren. Charlotte giddily replies that she is...and, what's more, she's been wearing the designer ever since she was a teenager. 

While out bed shopping, Miranda tells Carrie she's patiently waiting for Steve to move out of the brownstone...and is being extra tolerant of the fact that he seems to be taking his sweet time 'cause she doesn't feel entitled to ask/say anything about their living arrangements on account of she's the monster who blew up their lives. Carrie says she's having dinner with George tonight, and that every assumption she's made about him so far (being gay, broke) has been wrong.

Harry sneaks into the Ralph Lauren photoshoot (as Rock is being photographed jumping up and down on a trampoline), hilariously incognito in his Phillip Jennings Halloween costume. He approaches a guy sitting in front of a computer, refers to the shoot as dope, and asks if there's going to be anything "dirty or sexy" projected onto the green screen. The bewildered guy gives him a the fuck? look and tells him that this is a family shoot with kids present...so, no, prolly not. As Harry holds up both hands and backs away, he runs straight into Charlotte, who firmly orders him to skedaddle before Rock sees him. 

From behind a two-way mirror, Che watches the focus group as they provide feedback on the pilot. The group generally likes Tony Danza...but when the conversation turns to Che's very touching 'hey dad, I'm non-binary' scene, one of the participants (who's later identified as a queer gender Brooklynite) called Che "a walking Boomer joke that felt so fake". They go on to describe Che as "a phony, sanitized, performative, cheesy ass bullshit version of what the non-binary experience is" - bwahahahaha!! - before adding that the pilot sucked as badly as a pilot could possibly suck. Che stares at the two way mirror with an expression of utter devastation as the other focus group participants pile on the bandwagon about how much they too really fucking hated the Che character. Awesome.

"There simply aren't enough adjectives in the English language to describe the level of suck that is the Che character."

"Looks like someone has me pegged just right."

Later at Casa Che, Che is despondently smoking a joint while Miranda cooks dinner and trash talks the ABC "corporate assholes" who don't understand comedy, and then baselessly mocks the focus group participants for being "tourists in Time Square". Che glumly informs her that the most outspoken hater of the show was a gender queer person who lives in Brooklyn...and clearly knows shitty TV when they see it. Miranda responds by barking that "ABC can eat shit and die", and an irked Che wearily tells her to shut it and go away for a few days 'cause they're in desperate need of some alone time. A crestfallen Miranda agrees to sleep elsewhere tonight and meekly asks for a hug before she dejectedly shuffles out.

Seema has invited Mr. Penis Pump into her bed a second time...and after he climaxes, he carries on and on about how wow it was, while Seema quietly retrieves the sex toy out of her nightstand drawer in order to finish herself off. Mr. Penis Pump stares at her incredulously and asks her if she's for real...and when she assures him she is and that his penis pump is just as noisy as her dildo, he angrily puts his pants on, snaps, "Not cool!", and pissily storms out of the bedroom.

Carrie is once again over at George's massive loft apartment...and the two are canoodling atop the bed when Paul interrupts to Face Time George about more work stuff. George leaves his phone atop the bed and then rushes over to his home office to email whatever file Paul desperately needs at this very moment...so then Paul directly addresses Carrie and says he has nothing against her personally, then launches into an explanation about how he and George have had a few bumpy years being business partners. A befuddled Carrie refrains from engaging with Paul and covertly slides off the side of the bed, grabs her shoes, and crawls out of the bedroom. She informs George that she's heading out (never to return), and jokingly wishes him and his "wife" Paul a happy marriage before voice-overing, "And just like that, George and I were over."

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