Recap: Carrie browses through a stack of mail and finds a handwritten letter from Misha, who has just returned from a business trip to Holland and is inviting her out for a walk. In the next scene, she meets up with him in Central Park...and the two stroll around, sit on a bench and eat Dutch chocolate, and get into some heavy canoodling. Nope, still no chemistry there. The gigolas go perfume shopping in an effort to mix it up from their usual brunch summits. Carrie announces that she's considering taking a luvuhh, and Miranda looks over at her with with a mixture of surprise and icked-outness and goes, "The old guy?" LOL. Carrie brushes off the insult and says she prefers to think of Misha as worldly, wise, and sexy. Charlotte dreamily suggests that her hookup with Misha could become something more than him just being a luvuhh - but Carrie says it's unlikely for anything meaningful to come out of their romps, since 1) she can barely understand what the hell he's saying half the time, 2) they have absolutely nothing in common...and 3) the two have zero on-screen chemistry.
Miranda and Steve arrive at her building and canoodle in the elevator - until Blair Underwood gets on, shoots them both the stink-eye, and sarcastically mutters, "Well, if it isn't the happy couple." Miranda and Steve both wince, then exchange sheepish glances. Charlotte and Anthony stroll through Central Park...and she's babbling about whether or not she should pretend to want fulfillment from a career instead of continuing to live off the wealth of her ex-husband's family. Anthony complains that this conversation is boring the shit out of him and begs her to say something bitchy about someone they both know - but when Charlotte continues to babble about her "new direction in life", he cuts her off and urges her to look around at the beauty that is autumn. Charlotte stares at the nearby trees in wonderment...then notices a blind person shuffling along and remarks on how hard it must be to navigate New York City without the benefit of sight. She then decides to devote the next fifteen minutes of this episode to faux serving the blind. Prior to entering Luvuhh-ville, Carrie undergoes a bikini wax from a no-nonsense Russian woman. She learns a few basic words in Russian to use on Misha next time she sees him. To avoid running into Blair Underwood in the elevator of their building, Miranda takes the stairs - but since Blair Underwood also had the same idea, the two end up running into one another. As he glares hatefully at her, she tries to explain that she never expected to fall back in love with Steve - and Blair goes full-on dickish and bitchily snarls about how he should charge her for a stud fee 'cause of how long, slow, and deep he doinked her over the course of two episodes. Miranda's face turns crimson as she races up to her apartment and tells Steve she gave Blair custody of the elevator...and overshares about Blair invoking their long, slow, deep doinkfests. A disturbed looking Steve reminds her that he needs the elevator this weekend 'cause he's moving in his stuff...and Miranda beats herself up about shitting where she eats. As well she should...though Blair Underwood really needs to chillax about Miranda ending their barely-one-month-long relationship. After a night out, Carrie - decked out in more bra-baring flimsywear - accompanies Misha to his fancy loft in a building which apparently used to be a sewing factory. She checks out the amazing view of Manhattan from his living room, then saucily asks him to show her the upstairs. The next morning (post-doink), Carrie wakes up in Misha's bed and finds a note on the pillow next to her informing her he's downstairs making breakfast. She puts on Misha's big white shirt and heads down the stairs, and is startled by the presence of several flunkies who, I'll assume, are Misha's New York staff and who've set up a small office in his living room. One of them points toward the kitchen, where Misha is making pancakes. A self-conscious Carrie tells him she feels like she's in the way, so he introduces her to the flunkies, who just stare at her disinterestedly for a few seconds, then go back to whatever they were doing. Misha informs Carrie that he's off to Amsterdam for a few days. Carrie tells Samantha that Misha's staff didn't seem to give a rat's ass that she had stayed over at his apartment and emerged from his bedroom wearing nothing but a long shirt...and Samantha nods knowingly and says they've probably seen countless women parading around Misha's loft half-naked the morning after. She tells Carrie she's jealous of her for dating "a real power player", and that Smith's youth and the May-December nature of their relationship is starting to grate. Carrie Googles Misha and finds photos of the many women he's hooked up with over the years. She scrunches her horsey face concernedly, then voice-overingly natters about how women attempt to keep things light with men despite the tendency to emotionally attach once they've hit the sheets...but still wind up in the dark. Or some such muddled nonsense. Smith shows Samantha an invitation he got to a party titled The Top 30 Under 30. Samantha has zero interest in attending - until she notices on the invitation that the event is being hosted by Richard Wright at one of his fancy hotels. She urges Smith to attend and promises to tag along as his date. Charlotte is meeting with someone in a cubicle about her sudden desire to help the blind...and is nattering about how she needs something to fill her days until she has a baby and/or gets bored of being altruistic. The woman emphasizes to Charlotte that signing on with their organization to help the blind is a major commitment...and to easily weed out flighty halfwits like herself, all prospective volunteers are required to get a sense of what it's like to be blind by putting on a blindfold and getting someone to steer them around the city. In the next scene, Charlotte and Carrie arrive at a department store...and Charlotte puts on a blindfold so that Carrie can walk her around in a blind-leading-the-blind type fashion. A few seconds later, Carrie gets a call on her cell from Misha...and when she momentarily steps away from Charlotte to get better reception, Charlotte gets swept into the opposite direction by a large group of people who just happened to breeze into the store at that exact moment. She quickly gets lost and stumbles around for a few minutes before throwing in the towel on her short-lived desire to dive head-first into volunteer work. She quickly finds Carrie in the shoe department, trying on a pair of designer stilettos she doesn't need...but yet continues to indulge an irresponsible habit that almost resulted in her homelessness in Season 4.
Samantha and Smith arrive at The Top 30 Under 30 party and run into Richard Wright (after Samantha makes Smith cut to the front of the line). The youngsters at the party take photos of each other with their phones and snort pretzel out of their noses, while the elders - Samantha and Richard - flirtily chat and agree that they're both looking fantastic. Steve and Miranda are alarmed when they find Steve's television set, which was temporarily placed in the lobby with the rest of his boxes, smashed up. Miranda says she's pretty sure that Blair Underwood did it out of rage because of how "crazy in love" with her he still is. Steve storms up to Blair's apartment to give him the what-for - but when he sees that a shirtless Blair is sexily entertaining two scantily clad women, he meekly apologizes for any hurt feelings he and Miranda may have caused him. Blair shrugs indifferently and is all, "OK, whatevs" ... and Steve heads back down to the lobby and fibs to Miranda about how upset Blair still is about the jilting. Carrie arrives at Misha's apartment, where he gives her a pair of wooden shoes he brought back from Amsterdam. She giggles, thanks him in Russian, and the two get into some heavy smooching action. Samantha decides why not callously rip out Smith's heart? by sneaking off to an upstairs suite with Richard...and as she and Richard are striding toward the elevator, Smith bounds over and asks if he can come with them. Samantha coldly retorts, "You go play with your friends, and I'll go play with mine" ... and in the next scene, Richard is boning her from behind while nattering about how he's had to lower himself to host parties for twenty-somethings who sport six pack abs. Samantha stares despondently into space...then looks even more stricken as she rides the down elevator afterwards. She's stunned (as was I) to find Smith waiting for her in the lobby...and he explains that [for some unfathomable reason] he wanted to ensure that she got home OK. She moans about how much she hates herself for cheating on him in so brazen and shitty a fashion, then bursts into tears as [I blurted out incredulously, "Seriously??? You gotta be shitting me!!!!!" and] he sweeps her into his arms and escorts her toward the exit. Smith, Smith, Smith...you deserve so much better.
Across town, Misha tells Carrie, post-doink, that he's off to his studio across the hall to work on his light art installation thingy. Carrie lounges on the bed until she suddenly realizes she was no longer comfortable in Luvuhh-ville. She gets dressed, heads over to his studio, and tells him that while this chemistry-free hookup has been lovely, she's not "cut out" for the pancakes and being one of his many ladies. Misha stares at her quizzically and assures her he's not currently doinking anyone but her...and that, implausible as it may seem, he genuinely likes her. Carrie scrunches her horsey face in wonderment and asks, "Why me?" and Misha shrugs and retorts, "Why me?" ... and the two stare over at the brightly lit art contraption that Misha is in the midst of cobbling together. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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