Recap: It's Saturday night and Carrie's lounging on her bed, leafing through a New York events calendar for something fun to do. When a grungy looking Aidan arrives home with Pete after sanding down the ratty floors in the apartment next door, Carrie asks him if he'd be into going to a new restaurant - Town (with a period, so it's spelled Town.) - but he's like, "Not" and that he's much more into the idea of taking a shower, watching the game, and pigging out on KFC. Carrie whines, "But it's Saturday night!" but Aidan ignores her and gabbles about how much he's looking forward to eating some finger lickin' good "K period, F period, C period!", and heads over to the bathroom to hose himself off. A frustrated Carrie calls Samantha, who mistakenly thinks the call is from Richard and barks, "Get over here and do me!" Apparently, she's been waiting by the phone for the last four hours for him to call her back. Sounds a bit clingy for a woman who was just bragging in the previous episode about how she likes to kick men out of her bed soon after she climaxes. Carrie asks her if she's up for a girls' night out, and Samantha perks up at that and conferences in Charlotte and Miranda, and the four make plans to "shake things up" by going dancing.
The gigolas show up at a hot gay bar called Trade, which has festive confetti-like things floating around everywhere. Charlotte spots Anthony Marentino, who shrieks, "Char!" and eagerly motions her over. He introduces her to his boy toy Gordon, who's a design editor for House & Garden. Charlotte squeals, "I loooove that magazine!" and Anthony tells Gordon he should check out Charlotte's recently re-decorated Park Avenue apartment for a possible feature spread in the magazine. Gordon tells Charlotte she's pretty and invites her to dance, leaving Carrie bantering with Anthony about the day-glo undies she has on underneath her form fitting skankwear. Miranda and Samantha, meanwhile, enter the men's room since there's no ladies room (or adherence to basic building codes), and Samantha looks over the penises on display at the urinals and tells the muscled men that she's just looking over their junk and that it's "kind of like being a diabetic at Baskin Robbins". Carrie, meanwhile, is having a hard time getting the bartender to notice her so she can order a dirty martini - until an attractive Aussie seats himself next to her and offers to help. He introduces himself as Oliver Spencer and gushes about how she's the writer of his favorite raunchy sex column, which he refers to as his New York Survival Guide. As she beams at the nauseating worshipfulness, Oliver tells her he's a shoe distributor and that he deals with all the top designers...and she gives him a hard stare and says, "It would be cruel to kid me." He chuckles and assures her it's true, and that he can get friends and favorite columnists a discount. He notices the engagement ring on her finger and goes, "What's this?" and she giggles and is all, "Oops! I keep forgetting I'm engaged!" Oliver tut tuts her nearly-married status and implores her to not take herself off the market 'cause he thinks of her as his dating guru. She happens to glance over at the goodie bag he picked up at a party earlier and sees that it contains the gay porn flick, Jocks and Cocks 4.
Over in the men's room, Miranda is startled when she runs into Max, a junior associate at her law firm. He's all, "Ack!" and asks her to please not tell anyone she saw him at Trade 'cause he's not ready to get outed to his colleagues. Miranda agrees to keep mum about his gayness, then confides in him about her pregnancy.
A few minutes later, the gals converge at the bar and gush about all the fun they're having. Samantha says that she just took a hit of ecstasy and is thinking of dropping in on Richard for a late night romp, since sex on ex is supposed to be amaaaaazing.
Carrie returns home and finds Aidan and Pete snuggled in her bed. She pokes Aidan awake and tells him she has a goodie bag with a porn flick...and that she's extremely horny after dancing with a bunch of well-muscled, half-naked men. An indifferent Aidan clutches his stomach and groans that he ate too much chicken and asks her to rub his belly...and Carrie rolls her eyes unhappily as she gives him a half-hearted belly scratch.
Samantha and Richard are going at it...and when they both climax at the exact same time, she purrs, "I looooove you. I'm in looooove with you." During her walk of shame on a busy Manhattan street hours later, she pulls out her cell phone to tell Carrie about the drug-fuelled I love you, and that Richard responded by falling asleep. She angrily vows to never have ecstasy-enhanced sex again.
Carrie meets up with Oliver at an outdoor cafe for lunch, and he's staring at her as if she just hung the moon and gushes, "Could you be more fantastic?" As a matter of fact, Oliver, she definitely could be. He gabbles about his non-monogamous relationship and says he doesn't expect to get everything from one man, then adds that he probably shouldn't be saying this to an engaged person. Carrie blushes and goes, "What's with you and this ring?" so Oliver asks her to tell him about her beloved, and she describes Aidan as "very tall, incredibly kind, handsome" but leaves out the part about her being completely undeserving of a guy who's even a tenth as awesome as Aidan. Oliver asks her if she's ever been to Bungalow 8, and she dismissively says it's a pretentious members-only club that's tiny and crowded and requires a key to enter...but when Oliver says he has a key, she cackles, "When are we going?!" Stanford - who, for some reason, is decked out in layers of bright green - happens to walk by at that moment and asks Carrie who her handsome new friend is. Carrie introduces the two, and Stanford cries, "I'm green with envy!" 'cause of how greedy greedy greedy she is to have a beautiful man at home, and a beautiful new gay BFF she's obviously cheating on him (him meaning Stanford) with.
Carrie goes home to type up her weekly dreck and babble aloud about the dichotomy of wanting to shake things up while at the same time being in a stable, committed relationship. She recalls Oliver's theory that you can't get everything from one person, then can't help herself from wondering: to be in a couple, do you have to put your single self on a shelf? Nope. It is actually possible to be your own person and be in a committed relationship. It's hard to fathom how Oliver could possibly think of her shlocky writing as his New York Survival Guide.
Miranda is nodding off at her desk when a woman named Celeste enters her office to deliver a memo about Casual Friday. She tells Miranda how thrilled she is that the partners have finally loosened up enough to approve a break in the dress code, then winks at her and says, "Congratulations." Miranda stares confusedly into space for a few seconds before storming over to Max's office to ask him if he told Celeste she was pregnant. He's like, "OK...yes" then explains that because of her frequent office napping, people at the firm were starting to openly wonder if she had a drinking problem or was bipolar. Miranda is annoyed and says, "How would you like it if I told everybody in the office that you were gay?" just as Celeste has quietly entered the office to deliver her Casual Friday memo to Max. Oops.
The gigolas have gathered at Samantha's loft to watch Jocks and Cocks 4, and they're cackling at the luridness of the gay porn video. Charlotte scrunches her face with disapproval, says she thought they were watching an independent film, then petulantly snarks, "I'm not in the mood for gay porn." Carrie pauses the video, shoots her a look of faux bewilderment, and repeats, "Not in the mood for gay porn?" and Charlotte starts moaning about how she told Trey about House & Garden wanting to do a photo shoot in their apartment...and that he didn't even care. In fact, Anthony is more excited about it. Well duh, his boy toy is the design editor in charge of the shoot. Carrie steers the conversation to her issues and excitedly cackles about how Oliver is taking her to Bungalow 8, then reflects on how opposite she and Aidan are. She says, "It's either the greatest relationship ever, or we're headed - " and Charlotte cuts her off to re-direct the conversation back to herself and finishes the sentence with, "For separate bedrooms, like me" and sadly tells the gals that she and Trey are in completely different places. She then says she's too depressed to look down on their enjoyment of gay male porn and gives Carrie permission to un-pause Jocks and Cocks 4.
After a brief business meeting, Samantha asks Richard if they're going to talk about the I love you she blurted out the other night, but he just kind of shrugs and says he's well aware that she was high on ecstasy at the time and adds, "I've been there." Samantha's like, "Er...OK" but is secretly disappointed that her I love you doesn't seem to matter to him. He gives her a big smooch, makes plans to doink her later, and watches her as she slinks out of his office.
Now that Miranda's been outed as a pregnant person, she shows up to work on Casual Friday in a snug fitting maternity dress, while Max has decked himself out in a mesh top he probably should have saved for a night out at Trade. He must not have read the fine print on Celeste's memo.
Charlotte is in the apartment, working on a flower arrangement for tomorrow's House & Garden shoot. When Trey arrives home, she snarks at him to please move his stuff out of the guest room, 'cause she doesn't want the magazine crew to know that they've been sleeping in separate bedrooms. When she tells him that the crew wants to shoot both of them 'cause they seem like the perfect couple, Trey smirks bitterly and Charlotte puts her sad face on and coos, "I know...but I promised...and they're coming." Trey says he doesn't want to do this anymore, this meaning continue living in this hellhole of a dysfunctional marriage a minute longer. Charlotte yammers about how she really really wants a baby and doesn't think she should give up on her dream of motherhood, and he agrees and offers to move back in with Bunny. Even though Charlotte should probably be the one to move out, seeing as how she doesn't own the apartment or contribute a penny for its mortgage, and also dove head-first into a marriage without making it crystal clear to Trey how rabid she is about having children.
Carrie decides to wear her engagement ring on a necklace and is all decked out (in a skimpy, form fitting dress that showcases her sinewy legs) for Bungalow 8 when Aidan arrives home. He sees the ring on her necklace and asks whassup with that subtle insult, and she tells him it's something she's trying 'cause she likes the ring being closer to her heart. Aidan appears to buy that and invites himself along with her and Oliver...but she stammers about how exclusive Bungalow 8 is and that you need a key to get in, etc. Aidan laughs about the absurdity of going to a club that requires a key and asks her why she buys into that kind of shit...so she reminds him about what a superficial pile of tacky garbage she is, and that she readily buys into anything that helps validate her deluded sense of self as a minor New York celebrity, and then mumbles, "I promised Oliver."
Carrie and Oliver arrive at Bungalow 8, cut past the line of hopeful looking people waiting to be allowed in, and waltz inside. Oliver immediately starts mingling with other hot gay men, and Carrie poutishly accuses him of neglecting her and threatens to leave. He apologizes for his rudeness just as Stanford arrives. He snarks at Oliver for taking his place as Carrie's favorite gay, then grabs him and forcibly plants a giant smooch on his lips. Carrie gets irked at the disturbing PDA, announces that she's going home to her gorgeous fiancé, and totters out of the club and then down the street in her stupid stilettos.
Carrie finds Aidan sitting in his big leather chair, reading. He stares in puzzlement as he asks her why she owns Jocks and Cocks 4, and she starts making porn music sounds and gets all amorous about the various sex tips she learned from the video.
Photo shoot! As the House & Garden crew sets up their cameras and lighting stuff in Charlotte's apartment, Charlotte pulls Anthony aside and tells him that she doesn't think Trey is coming and wonders if they should cancel. Anthony's like, "Hell no" and says they'll do it without him, then tells her she can do a hell of a lot better than that stick-up-his-ass preppy. A few seconds later, Trey breezes in for the shoot and tells Charlotte he wants to do it 'cause he knows how important it is to her, and she gives him a grateful smile. The two then smile glumly into the camera, and Carrie voice-overs about how misleading their togetherness was, 'cause by the time the issue of House & Garden hit the newsstands, Trey had already moved out.
Carrie and Aidan are in bed, spooning, and Carrie is nattering in a voice-over about how some relationships that look pretty on the outside are a horrifying mess on the inside. Like the pile of crap that will soon be hers and Aidan's relationship in the very next episode.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!