Dynasty - Season 8, Episode 13

Fallon quickly learns that blondes don't necessarily have more fun

"The Interview"
Original airdate: 1/6/1988

Episode summary: Blake unhappily contends with Alexis's sudden decision to enter the gubernatorial race. Dana confesses to Adam that she once aborted his spawn. Fallon gets a grisly new 'do.

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Recap: Blake, Krystle, and (campaign consultant) Bill Cochran are in Carrington manor, reading over the press coverage of Alexis's bewildering announcement that she's suddenly running for governor. Bill warns that her entry in the race will mean that votes for Blake will likely get syphoned off, and that their opponent (James Rayford) will benefit from the divided vote and go on to win the election. Bill also expresses concern that the public will weary of a campaign where a disgruntled husband and wife are so annoyingly catty to one another, and will want them both out of the race.

Leslie wakes up with Sean (ew) beside her...and the two engage in some light pillow talk and enjoy a leisurely morning smooch. A few seconds later, Leslie's radio alarm comes on, and a news report announcing Alexis's surprising run for governor. The two listen in stunned silence before Sean gets up and decides he'd better head back to his home suite pronto.

Alexis is phoning around to see if anyone's seen Sean this morning - when Sean suddenly makes a grand entrance with a mariachi band in tow. He explains that the Mexican performers are meant to be a reminder of their wedding day, then dismisses the band and contritely says he's very sorry for walking out on her last night. When she asks him where he went, he fibs and says he spent the night at a cheap motel, sulking, brooding, and realizing what a fool he was for not appreciating her for being the best thing that's ever happened to him. He asks for her forgiveness and she swiftly grants it, then directs her attention to the long gubernatorial campaign ahead of her...and the task of appointing an interim CEO of ColbyCo. Sean suggests she tap Adam for the top job - but she nixes that 'cause he's on the board of Denver Carrington and therefore not exclusively loyal to ColbyCo. She stares back at Sean and says she'd like him to run her company, and that she somehow believes he's just as qualified a businessman as Adam, despite there being zero indication of how well/horribly the weirdo would function as a CEO. When a less than enthused Sean murmurs, "No...", Alexis implores him to take the job 'cause she doesn't have anyone else she can trust. He mulls it over and reluctantly accepts. 

"You are more than qualified to run my large oil company."

"That comes as news to me."

Fallon, who for some unfathomable reason is sporting a horrifyingly large curly blonde wig while she works out on an exercise bicycle at a leisure center...and my initial reaction was to assume it was some kind of jokey disguise - but turns out not to be. She spots Dex splashing around the swimming pool and calls out to him...and he swims over and manages to keep a straight face as he compliments her new "look" by describing it as enticing, spicy, and sexy. Fallon giggles and says she was bored with her old look and wanted to personally investigate the trope of whether or not blondes really do have more fun. When Dex asks her how she's doing emotionally, she says that while it's sad to be divorcing the idiot father of her children, she feels free, independent, and more like her own person again. Dex is all 'hurray for you' and leaps back into the pool for some more fun time.

Over at the chalet, Sammy Jo is on the phone, berating one of her stable hands for fucking up something or other. When Jeff returns to the chalet and asks whassup, she explains that a Delta Rho employee made a mistake that cost her a lot of money - but that she really blames herself for neglecting the ranch in favor of spending all of her energy on Steven. She self-piteously chides herself for being a lousy businesswoman and a wretched mother, so Jeff points out that Danny adores her and that she should stop putting herself down so much. When Sammy Jo whimpers about how lonely she feels, Jeff says that that's typical when starting a new life, then invites her to join him in being a member of "the loneliest club in town". He invites her to go out to dinner with him later, and she gratefully accepts. 

Blake drops by Alexis's office to have a serious discussion about the two of them running for governor, adding that the press is going to have a field day with the spectacle she's deliberately created. He reminds her that they've had a quasi-warm relationship ever since the middle of Season 7, when she nursed him back to health in Singapore (albeit she used his memory loss to her advantage in making him believe they were still married). He says at one time they loved and cared for each other and should therefore have the deepest regard for one another now. Alexis concedes their past affection, but then says they have to be practical about their lives and their future. Blake concurs, but says they also need to be realistic about both of them running for governor, 'cause it's merely going to split the vote, resulting in a win for the terrible Jim Rayford. He strongly urges Alexis to drop out of the race, to which Alexis to bitterly chuckles and snarls at him for sweet talking her in the hopes that she'll do his bidding. She flatly refuses to end her candidacy and challenges him to quit...and Blake angrily barks, "Not a chance!" and grumbles, "Krystle was right about you" before storming out of the room.

The next morning, Alexis is on the phone, confirming her appearance at a televised debate that evening with Blake and Jim Rayford. Sean wankingly assures her she'll deliver an amaaaaaazing performance - but Alexis says she's actually quite nervous about being adequately prepared, then starts brainstorming a potential signature issue: giving young working mothers access to (mandated) babysitting facilities at every workplace and factory across the entire state...'cause yeah that fabulous idea is totally realistic. She looks almost inspired by her own genius as Sean wanks, "You have more know-how than some presidents." Alexis tells him that to take the pressure off she'd rather that Blake weren't present during the debate, and Sean suggests that maybe he doesn't have to be there, and shoots her a devilishly knowing look.

Before heading out to Grand Junction for the day, Blake grumbles to Krystle that he wasn't able to get a hold of Mr. Deselles (from the TV network) to assure him that he's A-OK with Alexis being included in tonight's debate...even though he's secretly worried about "tricky" she can be. 
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Back at the chalet, Sammy Jo glances at the day's paper and is all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" when she sees the announcement about Alexis suddenly deciding to run for governor. Jeff too is shocked and says he should prolly get back to campaign headquarters in Denver to do whatever damage control needs doing. He asks Sammy Jo if she wouldn't mind finishing out the boys' ski trip by herself...and when she assures him it's no problem, he gives her an affectionate cheek kiss. Mmm hmm..
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While having coffee and dessert at the Carlton Hotel, Karen asks Dana if she's so distracted and freaked out 'cause she hasn't yet told Adam about her back alley abortion...and Dana admits she is. Karen urges her to come clean before the (surrogate) baby arrives, and assures her that Adam will understand that she was young, vulnerable, and confused when she got knocked up [though: not]. 

Jeff returns to Carrington manor and does his best to keep a straight face when he runs into Fallon and the unsightly blonde mop she's now wearing atop her head. He jokingly says he didn't realize she wanted a new hairdo along with the divorce, and she coldly tells him she couldn't give even the tiniest of rat's asses what he thinks about her sudden decision to wear such a ridiculous looking hairpiece. Jeff makes it clear that he's so dunzo with this marriage that he's decided to pack up his things and move out of the mansion tomorrow.

Elsewhere in the mansion, Dana has summoned Adam to their bedroom to tell him about the back alley abortion that left her sterile, adding that the boy she had hit the sheets with was not so drunk that he couldn't adequately perform, but too drunk to remember it afterwards...then drops the bombshell: "And that boy was Michael Torrence." Adam stares back at her in stunned horror, then crosses his arms across his chest while looking as though he's trying to not be sick. Dana whimpers that she's been wanting to tell him about her long ago pregnancy - but was sooooo afraid he wouldn't believe her. Adam tears up at the spawn she aborted, crying, "I was going to be a father! You killed my child!" and races out of the room. 

"After you knocked me up, I decided 'what could go wrong with going to a back alley butcher'?"

"OMG. You killed Michael/Adam Jr.!"

Over at campaign headquarters, Jeff asks Krystle why in blazes Blake is appearing on a debate show hosted by a sleaze like Mr. Deselles, pointing out that the forum is one that's tailor made for a drama queen like Alexis, and one in which Blake is going to have to stoop to her level. Krystle explains that Blake couldn't get out of it after Alexis entered the race, but insists that he'll handle himself just fine.

Sean meets up with some unnamed hoodlum and hands him Blake's campaign schedule for the day. The hoodlum says he knows exactly what to do, and promises to call Sean once he's carried out the dirty deed. 

Blake has finished stumping in Grand Junction and remarks to his assistant that he's running late. He climbs into the waiting limousine and tells the driver (aka Sean's hoodlum) to take him to the airport...and to step on it 'cause he has a televised debate he needs to get to. Much to Blake's confusion, the hoodlum takes the backroads, then pretends as though the car has suddenly stalled. He gets out and looks under the hood...and when Blake exits the car to see whassup, the hoodlum jumps back into the driver's seat and squeals off, leaving a bewildered Blake standing by the roadside yelling, "Hey! Where are you going?!"

The televised interview is about to get underway, and Krystle looks pensively concerned that Blake is nowhere to be found...while Alexis smugly wonders if Blake bailed 'cause he's too afraid to debate her. Deselles warns Krystle that if Blake doesn't make an appearance, he'll have to proceed with the debate without him...and when Krystle argues that he can't do that, he suggests that perhaps she sit in for him. Krystle mulls over that idea for a few seconds and decides 'ah what the hell', prompting Deselles to giddily remark to the cameraman, "We're going to have quite a show tonight."

James Rayford smarmily welcomes the challenge from his opponents, but insists that only he has the experience and dedication to be the best governor the state has ever seen. Alexis argues that he doesn't...and points out that Colorado needs new faces, along with fresh, innovative ideas. She accuses him of being out-of-touch [and says this as if she herself is, in any way, in touch with the common man], and a misogynistic douche, pronouncing, "Many men with a lot less knowledge than women have become president of the United States." [Heh.] She makes it clear how much she resents being characterized as a Johnny-come-lately and someone's ex-wife, particularly when she's proven herself to be an accomplished businesswoman and newspaper publisher. When Deselles asks Krystle what she thinks of this madness, she smugly asks Alexis if The Denver Mirror has won any prizes for excellence (as have Denver's other two papers) ... and Alexis tightly says she considers her rag's high circulation to be very rewarding. Krystle continues the humiliation by asking Alexis if she's ever held down a job, as in any kind of professional job prior to inheriting ColbyCo after being widowed by Cecil Colby [who died about five seconds after they were pronounced husband and wife], and Alexis is forced to admit that for decades she had never been employed by anyone in any capacity.

"Please tell our viewers how many Pulizers your rag has won."

"Titillating readers with daily Blake gossip is its own reward."

Krystle turns toward the camera and directly tells viewers that Blake is the best candidate 'cause of how very hard he's worked all of his life...and that surely something super important must have come up to cause him to miss this debate. Alexis cattily wonders aloud if perhaps he's breaking in a new secretary...and when Krystle calls her out on making such a cheap shot, Deselles decides it's time for a commercial break. 

Later in the dressing room, Alexis gives Krystle a heads up that she's planning to feature a snark-filled editorial on how Blake was too much of a scaredy cat to face her on live TV. Krystle rails at her for trying to destroy everything that has ever meant anything to her, then warns that she refuses to idly stand by while she wrecks Blake's campaign. Alexis chucklingly applauds her loyalty to Blake and says he's going to need it after he proves himself to be a giant coward...and Krystle says she's heard all she can stomach before giving Alexis a well deserved face smack. 

Adam drops by Karen's house to lament Dana's decision to abort his fetus when they were in high school. He then wonders if he's really meant to be a father, citing a "wonderful girl named Kirby Anders", though neglects to mention that she got knocked up after he violently raped her...then lost the baby after an illness. He tells Karen he's very worried about this surrogate child, but Karen assures him that nothing bad will happen.

At Denver Carrington, Steven is on the phone with Harry Thresher, insisting that he's still not interested in his business proposal. He ends the call - just as Fallon and her curly blonde wig enter the office. Steven chuckles at the unsightly "look" and jokes that if blondes truly do have more fun, she's in for a helluva good time. An irked Fallon directs the conversation to the Natumbe oil deal and chides her brother for making decisions unilaterally, and Steven argues that he doesn't see a good reason to invest $50 million in a West African deal that seems suspiciously too good to be true. He reminds her that he's the one in charge of Denver Carrington, then offers to give her a ride home - but she tells him to go pee up a rope 'cause she has her car downstairs. 

"OK, seriously?"

"I still don't seem to be having any more fun than when I was a brunette."

While standing on the front doorstep, Adam thanks Karen for letting him pour out his heart to her, and Karen's like 'no problem' - but reminds him that since Dana is going to be the surrogate child's mom, he needs to get past the whole 'I had an abortion years ago' subplot. Adam promises to try, then gives her a grateful hug...and across the street, we see that Dana is spying on them from inside her car before she covertly drives off.

Sean is on the phone with Kirby, who implores him to give up on what seems to have become an all-consuming revenge plot. Sean tells her he's not about to give up on making the lives of every Carrington + Alexis a living nightmare, snarks that he's not leaving Denver in the same shame-faced fashion that she did, then hangs up the phone and stares mutely into space as he has a flashback of when Kirby pulled a gun on Alexis, but then can't bring herself to pull the trigger [even though he himself wasn't actually there to witness it]. A few seconds later, Alexis sashays into the room...and Sean tells her that she was great during the televised debate, and Alexis tells him she enjoyed Blake being kept away so that she could test the political waters on her own.

Krystle greets Blake when he finally returns home. They both suspect that Alexis was behind the limo driver abandoning him on the side of the road - but Blake shrugs it off and happily tells Krystle that the cabbie who gave him a left mentioned that she had given Alexis hell during the debate. Krystle grins and says she did, and that she's determined to find a way to get the witch tossed out of the gubernatorial race.
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Late that night, Krystle is having a nightmare about the time she fell from her horse (after Alexis fired her skeet shooting rifle) and suffered a miscarriage. That flashback is followed by another flashback of Cecil's will reading, where Alexis snarkishly asks Krystle if she's accusing her of killing her husband, and Krystle replies that it hadn't occurred to her until she needlessly brought it up. Krystle then wakes up from her dream, stares contemplatively into space, and murmurs, "Did you kill him, Alexis?"

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