Recap: JR and Sue Ellen are at the Dallas airport to pick up Mama Shepard and Kristin, who's now being played by the sultry Mary Crosby and her freakish Joker lips. By scripted coincidence, Cliff is also at the airport to pick up Digger, who too has been recast and is now played by a less boozy looking actor who sports a fuzzy white beard. Mama Shepard greets JR warmly, wanks him about being so awesome and rich, then says she can only hope that Kristin will do half as well in the husband department.
Pam is in the grisly looking nursery cooing at Baby John Ross when Bobby enters the room to kiss her good morning. Pam assures him that she'd be just as besotted with the tot if she didn't assume he was Cliff's spawn, then tells him how dismayed she is by the low level of interest Sue Ellen seems to have in her newborn. Bobby breezily says she'll come around eventually and reminds Pam that the child isn't her responsibility - just as Miss Ellie enters the room and says how super it would be for the Ewing family if they too produced a baby.
Lucy is hanging at the stables with Ray, grumbling that Kristin Shepard is nothing but trouble. Ray just shrugs and says he thinks she's pretty harmless, and Lucy rolls her eyes and says it's sad that men can't seem to see her for the opportunistic tart she is. A few seconds later, JR and Sue Ellen arrive at Southfork with Mama Shepard and Kristin, and they're greeted by Jock and Miss Ellie. Mama Shepard peeks into Baby John Ross's baby carriage, gushes over his cuteness, and picks him up for a grandmotherly cuddle. She asks Sue Ellen if she'd like to hold her son, but Sue Ellen just makes an ew face and says she's going inside to lay down. Mama Shepard remarks on the strong resemblance that Baby John Ross bears to his father, and JR grins back at her with a weirdly delighted expression on his face.
Cliff brags to Digger about how much power he has in his Office of Land Management (OLM) job, then hands him a royalty check, courtesy of the oil profits from when he invested in Wally Kessel's oil rich property that he eventually leased to Ewing Oil. Cliff cackles about how he's squeezing Ewing Oil by having a say in where they're allowed to drill for oil and says his mission in life is to bankrupt the company. Digger tut tuts him for being so vengeful and says he simply wants Jock to get a modest comeuppance for swindling him and stealing his girl more than forty years ago, which...get over it, dude, it happened over forty years ago.
JR complains to Jock and Bobby that Cliff and his OLM flunkies have enlisted a team of experts to poke around the Ewing oil wells in an effort to shut them down. JR says they need to figure out what Cliff's weakness is so that they can put a stop to his anti-Ewing plotting, then says he recently heard some gossip that might be helpful in that capacity: Cliff has been secretly on the take from special interest groups. Egads!
Cliff brings Digger to his apartment, and Digger suddenly gets faint and nearly collapses. Cliff rushes over and helps him into his bedroom so he can lay down and recombobulate himself.
Pam meets up with Bobby downtown and tells him that ever since Sue Ellen gave birth, she's been consumed with thoughts of babymaking...and thinks she'd be fine giving up her department store career to become an unemployed lady of leisure - I mean a full time Southfork wife and mother.
Cliff tells Digger he's going to arrange for him to see a doctor...and when Pam arrives at Cliff's apartment, she feels Digger's forehead and says he has a fever. Cliff pulls Pam aside and tells her he's dying to tell Digger that he may have a grandson, and isn't sure how much longer he's going to be able to keep his mouth shut about that scandalous secret.
Sue Ellen tells Kristin that her stay in the clinic-mansion in Season 2 was wonderful 'cause of all the great medical care and tasty food she was served. When Kristin starts bellyaching about how hard it is to find a rich, marriageable man, Sue Ellen advises her to stop "being on the prowl" and passively wait around until the right man finds her. With that said, she urges Kristin to enjoy her singlehood as much as possible - but Kristin says she'd much prefer the perks of having a wealthy, powerful husband. She then cautions Sue Ellen about her post-partum moodiness, and warns that if she continues to miss those wretched looking Ewing family dinners, someone else will be more than happy to occupy her chair...and by someone else, she means herself.
After examining Digger, Dr. Hollister urges him to drink a bit less 'cause his liver is mildly pooched, then breaks the news to the entire Barnes clan that Digger is afflicted with neurofibromatosis. He explains to Pam and Cliff that it's a genetic disorder that a parent unwittingly passes along to their children - meaning that the two of them are both carriers of the disease - and that it can be life threatening for an infant. Cliff's like, "Ack!" and looks alarmed that the genetic disorder might have a deadly effect on his and Sue Ellen's love spawn.
Miss Ellie and Mama Shepard are gushing over Baby John Ross, relieved about how healthy he seems after his harrowing fetal alcohol syndrome start in life. Mama Shepard wanks Miss Ellie about how delighted she is that the tot will get to grow up on the Ewing's luxurious ranch, then get rich working alongside his father at the family's oil company.
Cliff tells Pam he wants to warn Sue Ellen about their love spawn being diseased with neurofibromatosis, but Pam says that given how fragile she is, the shocking news could send her into an alcohol-fueled tailspin. She offers to take Baby John Ross to the pediatrician herself and then will find a way to secretly get him tested for the disease.
Later, Pam is in the nursery staring worriedly at Baby John Ross...and when Bobby enters the room, he assumes that all of her worried staring is due to Digger's health issues.
The next morning, JR openly ogles Pam as she lounges by the pool in her swimsuit...and when Bobby sneaks up behind him and is all WTF?, he tells his brother he was just thinking how lovely Sue Ellen would look in a similar suit. Gross, JR.
JR goes upstairs to admonish Sue Ellen for not showing even the tiniest interest in their baby, then comes right out and asks her if she cares about him at all. Sue Ellen says she considers the baby her punishment [for binge-drinking and extramaritally doinking Cliff], and that he's a constant reminder that she was used by two cruel men. JR reminds her that, despite his cuckolding at the hands of Cliff Barnes, he's accepted the baby as his own - but Sue Ellen just mocks him for being too generous with his affections, then says she's off to meet up with her mom and sister for lunch at a swanky downtown restaurant.
Pam calls Cliff to tell him that the doctor assured her that the baby is fine...but to be extra sure, she's going to take him to Forth Worth to get him tested for neurofibromatosis. She sourly adds that Sue Ellen is abandoning her son to go lunch with her mom and sister at a swanky downtown restaurant...and after the call, Cliff orders his secretary to make a lunch reservation at the swanky downtown restaurant so that he can pretend to accidentally bump into her.
Pam arrives at the doctor's office in Forth Worth, passes off Baby John Ross as her child, and tells the doctor that she's a carrier of neurofibromatosis and wants some testing done to see if he has any symptoms of the disease.
At the swanky downtown restaurant, Cliff "bumps into" Sue Ellen and is introduced to her mom and sister. He invites them to join him at his table, but Sue Ellen coldly declines and says she wants to catch up with her family in private.
JR meets up with Alan Beam at an out-of-the-way burger joint to tell him he wants him to go undercover and discreetly poke around Cliff's personal bidness. Alan says he's done some preliminary research and is pretty sure that Cliff's motivation to torment the Ewings is out of a need for power...as well as the writers' insistence on keeping the tedious Barnes-Ewing feud alive indefinitely. JR hands him some cash and says he'd like to introduce him to his daddy.
Doctor #2 tells Pam that Baby John Ross shows no symptoms of neurofibromatosis, then suggests that Pam undergo a complete physical to see what effects the disease is currently having on her body. She says that while adults rarely suffer fatal effects from neurofibromatosis, babies often develop cancerous tumors and don't survive...then advises a freaked out looking Pam to bring the baby in for frequent checkups.
Pam meets up with Cliff and tells him she has no idea how she's going to break the news to Bobby about her inability to have a child without passing her diseased genes onto the tot.
Digger apologizes to Cliff for unwittingly giving him his disease, then says it's a damn good thing he never had any kids prior to learning he was a carrier. Oops.
Over drinks at Southfork, Miss Ellie tells Sue Ellen that Pam took the baby to the pediatrician and got a clean bill of health, and Sue Ellen's like, "Whatever, I really don't give a shit." Kristin tells everyone they ran into Cliff Barnes at lunchtime...and JR looks irked and asks her if they lunched with them, and she confusedly retorts, "Why would we do that?", then stares into space with her face scrunched all intrigued-like. Miss Ellie interrupts the conversation to announce that they're going to have to hustle if they want to make it to the theater on time.
JR and Sue Ellen return home early from the theater after Sue Ellen pleads one of her dizzy spells...and JR accuses her of once again faking illness. As Kristin eavesdrops, JR rails about Cliff...and Sue Ellen chuckles at his jealous tone, denies that she's carrying a torch for Cliff, and snaps at him to stop pretending in front of her family that he's a model husband.
After Sue Ellen storms upstairs, Kristin slinks over to JR and asks him if everything is OK...and he assures her that everything's fine and that he's going out for a drive. Kristin purrs about how nice it would be to go along with him, and the two stare hungrily at each other.
Sue Ellen finds a bottle of booze from her former stash, but doesn't allow herself to fall off the wagon 'cause the writers fully fished that lake dry in Season 2.
The rest of the Ewings return from the theater. Bobby asks Pam why she's been so sullen all evening, so she tells him she can't have a baby after all. He irritably snaps, "Why not?!" and assumes it's 'cause she's worried about losing her identity as a department store employee...and instead of explaining the neurofibromatosis situation she just learned about, she yells, "Be reasonable!" and storms up to the grisly nursery, where she cuddles Baby John Ross and stares mournfully into space.