Recap: JR has hired a team of uniformed security guards to patrol Southfork as a means of protecting him from some otherwise bored vigilantes who might seek revenge against him for allegedly financing a bloodless Southeast Asian coup. Miss Ellie telephones from "Paris" to tell JR she's been reading about his latest scandal in the papers and asks him if there's any truth to it, so he tells her it's all lies and that he had nothing to do with any counter-revolution. He complains that Bobby refuses to lift a finger to help him through this crisis, then assures her she needn't worry about this 'cause soon he'll be headed to Austin to look into getting the whole thing dropped.
In a Dallas hotel room, Dusty and Clayton Farlow tell Sue Ellen they're willing to storm over to Southfork with her right now so she can confront JR and announce that she's finally leaving him. Sue Ellen says that while she definitely likes that idea, she's concerned about removing her son from the ranch without JR going completely ape-shit...and Clayton points out that when it comes to the custody of small children, courts tend to rule in favor of the mother. Sue Ellen wrings her hands worriedly and says she doesn't think that right now is the right time to get her son, but rather after JR jets off to Austin, where she can only assume he'll attempt to bribe one or more senators to side with him in the current Southeast Asian Counter-Revolution fiasco. She tells Dusty and Clayton she feels bad involving them in her impending divorce/baby daddy drama, but Clayton says that JR's bullying and threatens have zero effect on the Farlow clan, since they're just as rich and well-connected as the Ewings. He asks Sue Ellen if she thinks JR was, in fact, behind the counter-revolution...and when she replies, "I'd stake my life on it", he says that if JR is found guilty, it's very possible he could go to prison and/or lose his company, which means that no court would ever award him full custody of Baby John. Sue Ellen grins happily at that possibility and says she's going to focus all of her energy on extracting her son from Southfork.
JR is in Austin, meeting with Senator Harbin (aka chairman of the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry) to request a look-see at the evidence that Cliff presented to the panel. Harbin's like, "Nope, no can do", then explains that members of the Department of Justice will be attendance at the hearing...and if things go south for him (JR), they may decide to hold him pending the federal trial, and be more likely to discover that a senator on the take supplied him with classified documents. A miffed JR says, in that case, he'll head back to Dallas now...and a few seconds after he exits the office, he's served with a subpoena to appear before the senate committee. He rushes over to the nearest pay phone and calls Louella to instruct her to tell Claude Brown to flee the U.S. pronto - just as she too is served with a subpoena.
Over at The Store, Pam's assistant (Jackie) tells her that Bobby called earlier, and that he sounded very tired. She offers to cover for Pam if she wants to fly to Austin to support her husband, but Pam worries that her presence at the hearing would only complicate matters.
Ewing Oil's secretary #2 (Phyllis) blabs to Sue Ellen that Louella was just served with a subpoena while she was talking to JR, who was in Austin at the time of the call...and Sue Ellen's all, "Yippee!" and promptly calls Dusty to report that JR is in Austin, where she assumes he'll be until the hearing, and therefore plans to babynap her son this evening. Instead of in broad daylight, when it would be a far less suspicious time to abscond with the tot now that she's under the scrutiny of the army of security guards JR just hired to patrol the ranch.
Leslie drops by Jeremy Wendell's office to discuss the damaging headlines plaguing Ewing Oil. She tells Jeremy she has some pretty compelling evidence that proves JR financed the counter-revolution...and when he asks her if she'd be willing to present it to the senate committee, she grins and replies, "For the right price." Jeremy correctly assumes that the right price includes signing Westar Oil as her newest PR client - but says that before he agrees to anything, he'll first need to see the evidence. Leslie invites him to her apartment this evening to get a first-hand look at the proof, and Jeremy says he can't wait to see Ewing Oil stripped of its state charter and no longer able to function as Westar's primary competition in the Texas oil world.
That evening, Sue Ellen dresses Baby John in a sweater and pants and tells him to say a final bye bye to his hideously decorated nursery. She promises to buy him new clothes and toys once they get to their new home...and as she carries him downstairs, JR expectedly arrives home, glares at her suspiciously, and asks her where she's going. She comes right out and announces that she's leaving him and taking their son with her, to which JR snarls, "The hell you are!" and grabs Baby John from her and orders one of his security guards to escort her off the property. Sue Ellen yells that if the senate committee finds him guilty of financing a counter-revolution he'll be hauled off to prison, then motions at her son, who's mutely clinging to JR while seemingly oblivious to the fact that he's the unfortunate subject of his idiot parents' ugly screaming match, and cries, "I'm going to have him!!" JR barks, "I'll kill you first!", and Sue Ellen says he'll have to, then screeches, "Because I'm going to get him!!" As the security guard drags her out of the house, Pam appears at the top of the staircase and orders JR to give Baby John back to his mother. JR snappishly tells her to mind her own business, then likens Sue Ellen to Rebecca Barnes as "another drunken slut who ran away". Pam shoots him a hateful glare as she growls, "You slime...you make me sick", and JR warns that he'll destroy anyone who tries to take his son away.
Kristin drops by Ewing Oil to meet with JR, who reminds her that they had a deal which entailed her staying far away from Dallas. Kristin says she's grown tired of his "little monthly checks" 'cause she's developed from pretty expensive habits in California and thinks he should start paying for them. She says she's been reading the papers and figured that now would be the perfect time to threaten him with a paternity lawsuit, and JR pretends to be agreeable to being blackmailed and explains that with his pending troubles he's unable to pull too much cash out of his bank account. She seems satisfied enough with that answer, but warns, "Don't wait too long", and says she'll call him in the next few days.
Over at the Cattlemen's Club, Punk Anderson tells Ray he went ahead and signed a development contract to get the Lubbock housing project started, and adds that he and his fellow investors kept a close eye on him during much of the negotiation process. Ray admits to feeling a bit in over his head...so Punk is like, "Speaking of being in over your head" and pressures Ray to join the other investors by throwing in $3 million. Ray looks startled and says that while Donna is loaded, he doesn't have that kind of money...and an unsympathetic Punk is all, "You seriously can't put a measly $3 million together?" and further manipulates Ray by remarking how happy Jock will be when he learns that his best friends and illegitimate spawn are all invested in a housing deal together.
Defense lawyer Emmett Walsh tells JR that before he's willing to take his case, he needs to find out what evidence Cliff presented to the senate committee.
Ray calls Dave Culver in D.C. in an effort to get a hold of Donna, but Dave says she's at a social event somewhere outside of D.C. and will likely be unreachable until tomorrow. Ray scrunches his face in frustration for a few seconds, then decides 'ah fuck it' and calls his banker (Mr. Morgan) and asks him to draw up a $3 million check from his/Donna's joint account and make it out to Unified Development.
Donna returns to D.C. earlier than expected and drops by Dave Culver's office. He tells her that Ray called earlier...and a few seconds later, Mr. Morgan calls to ask Donna if she's OK with her husband withdrawing $3 million from their joint account. Donna stares concernedly into space before telling Mr. Morgan to go ahead and issue the check, then tells Dave she needs to get back to Dallas before Ray completely wipes out their bank account just so he can meet with Punk's approval.
Afton is at Cliff's apartment, hovering over him as he mutters about how tired he is...before completely passing out. Afton rinses the drugged cup of coffee she had poured him earlier, then sashays over to the door to let in JR and Detective Harry McSween so they can search the apartment for whatever documents Cliff gave to the senate committee. JR quickly locates the briefcase, and Harry gets busy taking photos of each document.
The special hearing of the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry gets underway with testimony from Marilee Stone and Jordan Lee, who share their strong suspicions (but with no hard evidence) that JR was directly involved with the financing of the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Following that, the committee calls Claude Brown to the stand, and his immunity-protected testimony proves more damaging. He tells the panel that JR gave him $10 million worth of Swiss francs to finance the counter-revolution, says he has copies of the bank deposit to prove it, and that the money was withdrawn to pay the coup-ers just prior to the government changing hands. Following that, Leslie Stewart is called into the room and testifies that she had taped conversations with JR, who openly admitted to financing the coup...and Cliff presses the play button on a large tape recorder so that the senators can hear the incriminating audio evidence.
JR insists on defending himself with his own testimony, and denies being in any way responsible for funding the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. He admits to giving Claude Brown $10 million - but insists that it was for purely philanthropic reasons, and to dispel the myth of "the ugly American" in an effort to appease a yet-non-existent new government that (fingers crossed!) might one day take over the unnamed fictional Southeast Asian country that had nationalized his oil wells. As for Leslie's tape recording, since he knew she had a hankering for ruthless men, he was merely pretending to have financed a Southeast Asian coup in an effort to get her horned up enough to hit the sheets with him. LOL. One of the more bewildered looking senators is all, "You seriously expect us to believe a word of this?", so JR asks the committee to summon the unnamed fictional Southeast Asian country's ambassador to the UN: Ambassador Thone, whose testimony will corroborate this implausible nonsense.
Ambassador Thone displays for the senate panel a rendering of a hospital wing that's currently under construction in the unnamed fictional Southeast Asian country, along with that of two new schools in the works - all of which are to be named in honor of JR Ewing. Thone says that Emmett Walsh can provide all of the records for the expenditures for this construction, which conveniently add up to $10 million, minus the deposit fee that Claude Brown was given. Cliff stares at Thone incredulously and asks him where the money went just before the coup happened, so Thone explains that since no one wanted that kind of cash to fall into the wrong hands, it was transferred to Switzerland for safe-keeping, then returned to Southeast Asia once the unnamed fictional country had its new, capitalist-friendly government in place. Ambassador Thone adds that JR has generously offered to donate 10% of all oil profits from his Southeast Asian wells to his government and calls it a humbling humanitarian gesture...and JR kind of contorts his face into a 'the fuck?' expression, which made me wonder if Thone was craftily hosing JR in real time. As JR mutters, "It's the least I could do", Senator Harbin recommends to the senate committee that, in light of JR's admirable acts of generosity, they should all vote no prosecution. The vote quickly passes - with Bobby in agreement - and a furious Cliff accuses JR of bribing Ambassador Thone to appear at his hearing and testify about non-existent philanthropic construction projects.
Cliff asks Bobby why in blazes he sided with JR, then points out how obvious it is that JR knew exactly what kind of evidence the panel had against him. Bobby denies any wrongdoing or even voting against his conscience, but Cliff just snorts, "You're a Ewing" and threatens to appear before the Senate Ethics Committee to lodge a complaint. Bobby urges him to stop, take a breath, and come by Southfork later so that they can discuss the matter in more detail...and Cliff agrees, but says it likely won't change his mind.
The next morning, JR arrives at Ewing Oil and summarily fires Louella for not ensuring that Claude Brown left the country before he could be called to testify at the hearing...and a stunned Louella's all, "The fuck? You're firing me for that?"
Kristin drops by Ewing Oil in a more determined effort to extort money from JR...and when he tells her she's not getting another penny from him, she threatens to blab to the press that he's her baby daddy. JR counter-threatens to bring charges against her for shooting him last season, and she pales and replies, "You wouldn't do that." JR snaps back, "Wouldn't I?" and threatens to unleash his violent goons on her if she doesn't get the hell out of Dallas immediately. Kristin glares at him, snarks, "It's not over yet!", and flouncily storms out of his office.
Sue Ellen stops in at Pam's office to tell her she's divorcing JR so that she can marry the man of her dreams, who she once thought was lost forever. Pam's like, "That's nice, but what about your baby?" and Sue Ellen says she's not leaving town without the tot, and could really use her help.
JR goes over to Leslie's apartment to applaud her for her self-survival skills, which he too would have employed if he were in her shoes. The two stare intensely at each other...and JR says he still wants to hit the sheets with her more than ever - but only for the fun of it, with no strings attached. Leslie says she's definitely down with that, and the two start smooching.
Kristin is back in her hotel room, complaining to whoever she's talking to on the phone that her attempt to blackmail JR didn't work, and that he even threatened her if she didn't leave town. She vows that he'll soon regret what he said to her.
Post-coitus, JR sits on Leslie's bedside and tells her that no way was that sub-par doink worth the wait - bwahahaha! - and she looks unfazed by the insult and chuckles about how most things usually aren't. She tells him that despite everything "you're still my kinda man", and JR gives her a weirded out look as he beats a hasty retreat from her bedroom...and once he's out of earshot, Leslie picks up the phone and calls Jeremy Wendell to talk about their future partnership.
JR enters the Southfork nursery and is startled to find it empty. He rushes downstairs and asks the nearest security guard where his son is, so the guard tells him that Mrs. Ewing took him out for a drive...and by Mrs. Ewing, he means Pam. A panicked JR gets on the phone with Detective Harry McSween, gives him Pam's license plate number, and says she just kidnapped his son...but that the detective is to call the ranch when she's found so that he can personally take care of the matter on the down-low.
Cliff arrives at Southfork for his tête-à-tête with Bobby...and as he ambles towards the house, he glances over at the pool and - ack! - notices a female body floating, face-down. He races over to the pool and leaps in in an effort to save the unidentified woman [spoiler: it's Kristin] ... and as he cradles her lifeless body, he notices JR staring down at them from his bedroom balcony. Cliff bellows at his archenemy, "She's dead! You bastard!"
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Recap: Sue Ellen is in the nursery getting Baby John dressed...and tells JR, who's hovering in the doorway, that she has zero desire to discuss his/Kristin's out-of-wedlock spawn. JR says that wasn't what he wanted to discuss with her - but when she snaps, "Not now!", he sheepishly shuffles off.
Pam leaves the doctor's office with Rebecca in tow, and the two are sad that it's been officially confirmed that Pam is physically unable to have children.
Mitch is sulking on the couch while Lucy packs for a modelling gig in Houston. She explains that she's been summoned to Alex Ward's publication headquarters for an important photo shoot - but that she'll decline to attend if he (Mitch) orders her to cancel. Mitch poutishly tells her she's going to have to decide for herself if she has any interest in indulging his Neanderthal attitude about women being allowed to enter the workforce and earn more money than their husbands, so she mutters, "I'm sorry" and exits the condo with her luggage.
Dave Stratton tells Cliff he has access to a treasure trove of documents that can prove JR financed the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Cliff says he's definitely intrigued by the prospect of nailing JR for a serious crime, but is worried because his boss (Bobby) is less than likely to urge the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry to investigate the matter. Dave incentivizes Cliff to find a way around that barrier by telling him that Westar Oil has a lot of influence with the Texas senate and that he's pretty sure Jeremy Wendell will show a deep level of gratitude to whoever helps bring JR to his knees.
Sue Ellen tells Pam that last night she and JR re-connected for a nano-second prior to Kristin spoiling the mood when she telephoned with her baby news. Sue Ellen says that if it weren't for her all encompassing love for Baby John, she would have walked out on JR last night...and Pam's all, "Yeesh" and says that she, on the other hand, finds comfort in having a loving spouse like Bobby.
Leslie is lunching with Jeremy Wendell, who's not-so-subtly trying to extract whatever intel she might have on JR's connection to the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Leslie firmly says she can't disclose anything from conversations she's had with her other clients, then politely thanks him for lunch and excuses herself so she can make her next appointment.
At the Cattlemen's Club, Ray looks visibly uncomfortable during his meeting with Punk Anderson et. al. to discuss the Lubbock housing deal. Donna briefly interrupts to let Ray know that she's off to D.C. to do some stuff for Dave Culver, and Ray says he's A-OK with that and gives her a goodbye smooch.
That evening at Southfork, Bobby sorts through the mail and is delighted to find a postcard from Luke Middens of The Lost Child episode, who apparently would loooove to get reacquainted by dropping in at Southfork for a visit sometime. When Bobby relays this fun news to Pam, she gets visibly upset, mumbles that she has work to do, and hastily exits the sitting room.
JR tells his lawyer, Lincoln Hargrove, that he has no interest in attending marriage counselling sessions and wants to proceed with divorcing Sue Ellen and getting sole custody of Baby John. Hargrove warns that unless Sue Ellen is proven to be wildly unfit to care for their son, it's more than likely the court will favor her getting custody. He says that the only exceptions would be if she:
Dave Stratton meets up with Cliff in a parking lot so he can covertly (while no one is watching) hand over a briefcase containing damning evidence of JR's connection to the Southeast Asian counter-revolution.
JR tells Leslie he's not thrilled to hear she's been lunching with Jeremy Wendell, so she points out the need to expand her PR horizons by taking on clients other than Ewing Oil. She tells him that Jeremy is very disappointed that the Westar-Ewing Oil merger never came to fruition, and JR denies that that had ever been a possibility - then is forced to cut their meeting short when Dave Stratton arrives. After hustling Leslie out of his office, JR asks Dave what Cliff has that could possibly link him to the counter-revolution, and Dave convincingly fibs, "Cliff Barnes doesn't have a thing."
Over at Casa Barnes, Cliff is perusing the documents from Dave's briefcase, looking so pleased by the proof of JR's misdeeds that he fixes himself a celebratory drink and chirps, "Bye bye, JR!" A few seconds later, Pam drops by to tearfully share that her doctor has confirmed she's physically incapable of carrying a baby to term. Cliff's like, "I dunno what you want me to do 'bout that", suggests she talk to Rebecca about her lady problems, and tells her that right now he really just wants to be alone with his new treasure trove of incriminating-against-JR documents. Pam shoots him a 'the fuck?' glare and angrily asks him if he wants to be alone his entire life, yells at him for repeatedly snubbing their newly re-emerged mother, and storms out of the apartment. Cliff re-opens the briefcase and sorts through the documents...then decides to let Pam's guilt trip get the better of him, and picks up the phone and calls Rebecca.
At Southfork that evening, Bobby asks Pam whaddup with her mopey-ness lately, so she tells him that her doctor confirmed her inability to give birth. Bobby scrunches his face perplexedly and unhelpfully asks if there's really nothing they can do to counteract her infertility, and she tells him that the state of her uterus is pretty hopeless and that she couldn't stand to suffer another miscarriage. Bobby says he knows how hard this situation sucks, but reminds her of how much they love each other...and Pam wails about how how badly she wanted to have his baby.
Lucy calls Mitch to ask him if it's OK for her to stay another day in Houston, then explains that her handlers want her to appear on a talk show. Mitch snappishly retorts, "Sure, stay a week if you want" and hangs up...and when Lucy tries calling him back, he ignores the ringing phone and storms out of the condo like the prickly little baby man-bitch he is.
Cliff lays out some tasty edibles on his coffee table a few seconds before Rebecca drops by. She thanks him for seeing her and makes pleasant small talk about how well he's done for himself by becoming a lawyer. She then throws in the towel on tip-toeing around the awkwardness of the get-together and says they sound like complete strangers...so then Cliff lets it rip about how she ran out on him when he was five years old and left him with a baby sister and a drunken father. As she stammers, "It's hard to explain..", Cliff bellows, "How could a woman dooooo that?!", and a distraught Rebecca makes a beeline over to the door and says that while she didn't expect him to forgive her, she prayed he could try. Cliff insists he has, then has a sudden change of heart as he urgently cries out, "Mamaaaaaa!!" and gets all choked up as he tells her he remembered that she liked licorice. He then picks up the dish he filled with licorice and dramatically thrusts it in her direction - and Rebecca is so moved by the funny looking gesture that soon the two are sobbing and rushing into each other's arms...and I'm thinking that this scene probably shouldn't have made me laugh, much less laugh as hard as I did.
The camera pans over the designer shoes and shapely calves of a woman exiting a cab and then flouncing into a hotel lobby...and when she whirls around to check on her luggage, we see that Kristin Shepard and her freakish Joker lips have made their triumphant return to Dallas.
During the regularly scheduled Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry meeting, Cliff announces that he needs to address the committee, then starts handing out folders while explaining that they contain evidence of a possible threat to national security, aka a direct link between JR Ewing and the overthrow of a legitimate (though now defunct) Southeast Asian government. Bobby's all, "Wh-a-a-a?" and stares at him in stunned bewilderment while the other senators titter amongst themselves.
Rebecca drops by Pam's office to happily report that she visited with Cliff last night, and that he's completely forgiven her for abandoning him when he was a small child. Pam looks skeptical and asks her if Cliff knows she's wealthy, but Rebecca says he only knows that she loves him.
When the senate committee adjourns for the day, Bobby angrily reminds Cliff that he's supposed to function as his subordinate, not go over his head and address the panel without any advance warning. He then accuses Cliff of taking this job purely to stab the Ewings in the back - but Cliff argues that he freed Bobby from having to blow the whistle on his own brother or face co-conspiracy charges if he were to withhold the information. Cliff adds that he's more than happy to be "the heavy" on whom the Ewings can dump all of their wrath and frustration.
Kristin is on the phone, telling whoever she's talking to that her baby is with friends in L.A., and that the two of them need to get together soon.
That evening, Mitch brings his gal pal, whose name we finally learn is Jean, to the condo for some wine and pleasant conversation. When he starts whining to her yet again about having a wife who has the audacity to pursue a modelling career, Jean firmly states that she doesn't want to talk about marriage and/or Lucy, then steers the conversation to med school stuff. Mitch looks momentarily put out by her lack of interest in wanting to listen to his endless bellyaching, but then mercifully agrees to stuff a sock in it about his contrived marital woes.
The next morning, Sue Ellen tells JR she's going into the city to buy Baby John some new clothes to replace all the stuff he's outgrown. JR snidely asks her if she wouldn't be happier living in a hotel room or downtown apartment so that she could dispense with making her suitors go through the motions of taking her out to dinner before hitting the sheets...and Sue Ellen somehow refrains from smacking the brazen hypocrite and makes it clear that her place is at Southfork with her child, who's suddenly become the most important thing in her life. After she heads out, Miss Ellie telephones from "Europe" to check in with JR and let him know that the second honeymoon is going great, and that she really misses Sue Ellen and Baby John.
Lucy returns home and is aghast to learn that Jean spent the night in the master bedroom while Mitch lays sprawled out on the couch. Mitch is all, "Oops!" and explains that Jean is just a friend, and that they stayed up late talking...and downed so much wine that he felt it was safer for her to spend the night. After Jean wisely beats a hasty retreat, Lucy accuses Mitch of cheating on her, then rails about having to live according to his ridiculous, sexist standards. Mitch stupidly points out this wouldn't have happened if she weren't gallivanting all over Texas having her photo taken, and Lucy responds by icily announcing that she's moving back to Southfork and putting an end to this turd-pile of a toxic marriage.
Sue Ellen is sashaying down a downtown street when a limo driver stops her and motions toward the car's passenger seat...from which Dusty suddenly pops out and grins at her. In the next scene, Sue Ellen is walking alongside him as he hobbles on crutches and explains that he recently had spine-correcting/penis-saving surgery, and credits his progress on how desperately he wants her back in his life. Sue Ellen says she's thrilled for him, will do everything she can to help him walk and doink again, and assures him she wants to spend the rest of her life with him...'cause heaven forbid she go any length of time not romantically connected to a man who has the dough to finance her preferred life of leisure.
The senate panel decides that the documents Cliff gave them are inconclusive, and a motion is made to table an investigation into JR until they feel the matter warrants further action. A miffed Cliff accuses Bobby of pressuring his committee co-members to not to pursue the matter, but Bobby denies it and says it isn't his style.
Later at Southfork, Bobby blabs to JR about the various documents Cliff presented to the senate committee...and JR plays dumb and asks what Cliff could possibly have that connects him to the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Bobby's all, "Whoa, dude! That's classified senate information" ... and says this as if he had any business informing JR about a senate committee receiving classified documents in the first place. JR dismissively says that whatever it is is "all a pack of lies", and nonsensically chides Bobby for not demonstrating greater family loyalty. Bobby comes right out and asks him if he had anything to do with the counter-revolution, and JR fibs that while he benefited from it, he didn't actually orchestrate anything. Bobby says he doesn't buy that, warns that the senate investigation has only been tabled...and that if it's activated, Ewing Oil could be destroyed. Egads!
Cliff gleefully tells Afton he's very confident he's going to break JR soon...and when Afton asks him why he wants to do that, Cliff says that since he doesn't have a damn life, he's become relentlessly obsessed with plotting JR's downfall. He then tells her his next move will be to hold a press conference and accuse the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry of a massive cover-up.
Leslie is reading the latest edition of The Dallas Press, with the damaging headline splashed across the front page: Alleged Cover-up on Asian Coup by Senate Committee, JR Ewing Linked to Overthrow of Southeast Asian Government. She mulls this over for a few seconds, then calls Jeremy Wendell to set up a meeting about their mutual interests and how quickly she can abandon the sinking ship that is Ewing Oil.
JR is on the phone with Hank Johnson, ordering him to find out who's been looking into his illicit activities. When Hank insists he covered his tracks, a dismayed JR retorts that all hell is breaking loose.
Jordan Lee drops by Kristin's hotel room, grumbling about unhappy he is to have fathered her baby, which...ew, ew, and double ew. Kristin tells him she could have taken him to court for a far more profitable child support arrangement, and Jordan's like, "Yeah, good point" and opens up his check book and writes her a generous amount. He then warns her to get out of Dallas, otherwise she might run into JR...and she looks intrigued by the prospect and smugly replies, "You're right. I just might."
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Recap: The Ewings are hosting a Bon Voyage party for Jock and Miss Ellie, who [have speedily made up after being at odds for much of Season 4 and] are about to embark on a second honeymoon. Punk Anderson tells JR he really really wants to talk to Jock before he leaves - just as Sue Ellen gets a phone call from Alicia Ogden, who says they need to discuss a workable timeshare arrangement regarding Clint. She offers to stop by Southfork for a chat, but Sue Ellen's all, "Ack! No! We have people over!", and suggests they meet in a more clandestine fashion at a downtown restaurant the day after tomorrow.
Jock is seated in the back of a limo, good-naturedly growling about what could be keeping Miss Ellie. Punk rushes over and tries to get Jock interested in hearing about a new land deal - but as soon as Miss Ellie climbs into the limo beside Jock, they speed off to the airport. JR asks Punk what kind of land deal he's considering, so Punk tells him there's a plot of land outside of Lubbock he thinks would be perfect for high density housing. JR says he finds that a fascinating idea that should be hashed out with Ray...and Ray stares into space like a deer in headlights before muttering, "Uh, sure..?"
Cliff drops by Pam's office to apologize for behaving like such a jerkwad during the previous episode and invites her to lunch. When Pam stonily declines, Cliff says it's not fair of her to expect him to suddenly feel the same way about Rebecca that she does, declares that they'll prolly never see eye-to-eye about this situation, and gripes about how their once presumed dead mother is threatening their brother-sister bond.
Over at Ewing Oil, a miffed Donna snarls at JR, "Why can't you leave well enough alone?!" and says she's verrrrry pissed off at him for setting up Ray for failure with respect to the Lubbock housing project, since he knows damn well that her yokelly husband doesn't have the smarts to handle a deal of this magnitude. JR argues that since Ray is a Ewing spawn he needs to start taking on more responsibilities, then smirkingly doubts that Ray would appreciate finding out his own wife thinks he's too much of a dolt to handle himself while 'wheelin' and dealin' with a hillbilly shitbag like Punk Anderson. Donna just glares back at him, warns that she'll make him pay if Ray gets in over his head, then storms out of the office.
That evening at Southfork, Pam tells Bobby she got into a scrap with Cliff over their differing opinions about Rebecca suddenly re-entering their lives. She then suggests the two of them have dinner with Rebecca tomorrow night so that he can finally meet her, and he says he'd be delighted to clear his senate schedule and make time to meet his mama-in-law.
Cliff returns to his apartment with a big bag of takeout. He stares glumly at a framed black and white glam photo of Pam that, for some reason, is on display on his coffee table, then wanders over to the telephone to ask the operator to look up his mama's phone number...but then can't bring himself to dial it.
Leslie Stewart is in a meeting with Jeremy Wendell, discussing Westar Oil acquiring Ewing Oil, and suggests they make the transition sound as folksy as possible by referring to Ewing Oil as being "in the Westar family". Jeremy doesn't seem entirely thrilled by the concept and asks her if she's spoken to JR today, and she says he hasn't returned her many phone messages, but then reminds Jeremy that he's probably busy with all the happiness surrounding his newly reconciled parents. Jeremy wanks her by complimenting her wonderful PR work and promises to send some Westar Oil projects her way from time to time, then includes her PR savvy in the common interests that both Westar Oil and Ewing Oil share.
Lucy is doing some awkward looking splits/stretching exercises in the condo when Mitch returns home in a rare good mood. He suggests they spend a few days relaxing at a friend's lake house, and Lucy squeals, "I looooove that idea!" and gives him a happy smooch.
Sue Ellen arrives at her scheduled meeting with Alicia Ogden, a plain looking woman who seems almost awestruck to be in the rarified presence of a well tended Ewing trophy wife. She comes right out and tells Sue Ellen she knows that she and Clint have been hitting the sheets, mostly 'cause of how inept Clint is at carrying on an affair behind her back. She tells Sue Ellen she knows how in love they've been since their college years, but doesn't want to cause Clint a moment's pain and asks for just one favor of her husband's mistress: that she keep the extramarital affair as discreet as possible. An incredulous looking Sue Ellen asks her how she lives knowing her husband is cheating on her, and Alicia says she's totes fine with sharing Clint if it means he won't divorce her. Sue Ellen responds by shaking her head in bewildered puzzlement and says she could never tolerate that kind of marital dysfunction...and says this as if FOR YEARS she hasn't been putting up with JR openly sleeping with every floozy who's ever stumbled into his orbit, and stubbornly staying married to the serial philanderer 'cause of the wealth and status that come along with being a Ewing wife.
Later, Sue Ellen calls Clint to tell him they need to talk, and an excited Clint cluelessly suggests they meet up in their usual boom boom room and order room service. LOL.
Afton finds Cliff boozing in the Stardrift Lounge and joins him for a drink. When she remarks on how sad he looks, he tells her he's having family problems - but would much rather tell her all about it in his apartment...and in the next scene, the two are in his bed, enjoying some post-coital afterglow. Afton coos about him being the best lover she's ever had - including JR, who disregarded her as a person to the extent that he took phone calls in her presence from some funny sounding [pretend] Southeast Asian countries. Cliff perks up at that revelation and offers to cook her breakfast so they can talk 'bout this some more, then mounts her for some high intensity smooching.
JR drops by Leslie's apartment, unannounced, with a bottle of champagne to celebrate a deal he just wrapped up with some out-of-state investors. Leslie coyly tells him it's rumored that Ewing Oil is for sale, and JR scrunches his face in faux confusion and rhetorically asks why he'd ever do a thing like sell his family-operated firm. He then changes the subject to his impending divorce from Sue Ellen, refers to Leslie as his future wife, and pours two glasses of champagne. When he leans in for a smooch, Leslie "accidentally" pours her champagne down the back of his shirt, then tells him they should probably delay their first doink to such time as their next canoodle when he hasn't just been spilled on. After she hustles JR out of her apartment, she returns to her bedroom - where her ex-husband Craig is lounging naked on the bed, chuckling about how perfectly she played JR. The two then laugh about how JR seemed to buy her 'I'm actually considering marrying you' act seriously enough to discuss divorcing his wife.
Jeremy Wendell and some cohort named Howard arrive at Ewing Oil to ask JR whassup with him not following through with selling Ewing Oil to Westar. JR breaks the news that after [pretending to have] several phone conferences with Jock, it's been decided to keep Ewing Oil in the family indefinitely. Jeremy glares at him and reminds him he gave his word that the sale of Ewing Oil wouldn't depend on the marital status of Jock and Miss Ellie...and that he's mightily pissed that he's now going to look like a dumb jerk in front of his board. JR does his best to look empathetic and says, "I'm sorry", to which a vexed Jeremy warns, "Not as sorry as you're gonna be."
Bobby drops by Casa Yokel to find out why Ray's been shirking his duties as Southfork's head foreman. Donna tells him that Ray is currently meeting with Punk et. al. about the Lubbock housing project and is worried he's in way over his head. Bobby scrunches his face concernedly and says that Southfork is expecting a shipment of steers tomorrow and wishes Ray would focus less on deal making and more on ranching.
Pam arrives at Rebecca's new pad for a home cooked lunch...and when Pam laments about how she never has the opportunity to cook now that she lives at Southfork, Rebecca asks why she and Bobby don't move out and get a place of their own - RIGHT??!! - so Pam mumbles about how much Bobby loves the ranch...and adds that, surprisingly, it's been starting to grow on her as well. Rebecca says it seems like a great place to raise children, prompting Pam to put her sad face on and confide in her mom that she's had two miscarriages. Rebecca tells her that two miscarriages does not an infertile woman make, then points out that if the baby thing doesn't work out, she still has a great marriage with a dull-as-dishwater but loving husband. Pam frets that she's become too dependent on Bobby and worries about smothering him with all of her 'I wanna baby' emotional baggage, and Rebecca empathizes and says she can understand her need for children. She urges Pam to see a doctor to determine if she's actually physically capable of having children, and Pam agrees that that's a good idea and invites her mom to tag along on her doctor's appointment.
Sue Ellen arrives at hers/Clint's pleasure hotel draped in a fancy fur coat, and Clint gets all smoochy before presenting her with a ginormous diamond ring and professing his desire to make her his second wife. Sue Ellen says she can't accept it 'cause she doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up his marriage just so she can "recapture a schoolgirl fantasy", then says she'll always love him "in a special way", but that this undefined special way isn't enough for her anymore. As Clint stares back at her in shattered bewilderment, Sue Ellen tells him he's a wonderful man, chides herself for using him for selfish reasons, then assures him it's better that she crush his soul now rather than months or years from now. She gathers up her fur coat and flounces out of the room, leaving a heartbroken Clint staring after, his face contorted into a funny looking expression of misery.
That evening, Sue Ellen puts Baby John to bed...and a few seconds later, Pam ambles into the nursery to help tuck in the little cherub and gush about what a beautiful little boy he is. Sue Ellen declares that she's now decided her child will be her main source of happiness in life, and condescendingly tells Pam she's sorry she doesn't/can't have one, 'cause the abundant joy that is a woman's maternal love can make all the difference.
The next morning at Southfork, JR asks Ray how the Lubbock project is coming along...and when Ray pretends it's going great, JR gleefully warns him to try to not lose a bundle of cash during the deal making process. After JR smirkingly leaves for work, Bobby tells Ray he thinks they're going to need to hire a ranch foreman to make up for all the slacking he (Ray) has been doing since being declared a Ewing spawn, but Ray insists that he's still Southfork's head foreman and has everything under control. Once he leaves and is out of earshot, Pam remarks to Bobby that Ray seemed overly cocky just then, and Bobby concurs and says he's clearly afraid to fail at his business dealings.
Jeremy Wendell tells Dave Stratton he just had a terrible meeting with his board and therefore wants him to provide Cliff with whatever he needs to get the state senate to launch a full investigation into JR's role in financing the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. He wants JR to be mired in a scandal so devastating that Ewing Oil has its charter revoked...and also lands his new archenemy in prison.
JR is surprised to find Sue Ellen in the nursery, asleep in the rocking chair after reading to Baby John. JR picks up his son and tucks him into his crib...and Sue Ellen awakens and coos about what a handsome boy they created, and that he has his father eyes, aka the first thing that attracted her to him (aside from his ability to permanently finance her life of leisure). As the two amble over to their bedroom, Sue Ellen tells JR that her mama had had another man picked out for her, but she dug him (JR) and got the shivers every time he talked to her. As a weirded out JR scrunches his face confusedly at the pleasantness of the conversation they're having, Sue Ellen asks him to explain why he chose her among all the women he could have married, so he reminisces about the first time he laid eyes on her: prancing around a stage in a swimsuit while vying for the Miss Texas crown and somehow managing to pull off the humiliation by not looking like a total hussy. He recalls how much Miss Ellie and Jock loved her when she first showed up at Southfork, and that the best thing they ever coordinated on was having Baby John. Sue Ellen stares sadly into space as she asks, "What happened?" - just as the phone rings with news from California: her sister Kristin has just given birth to JR's out-of-wedlock spawn. Egads!
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Recap: After arriving in downtown Dallas, Donna asks Miss Ellie if she's absolutely, positively, completely sure she wants to consult a divorce attorney, and Miss Ellie's like, "Hell yeah" and says that lately she's been able to think of little else other than her need to end the nightmare that has become her misery of a marriage to Mr. Crotchety.
In a downtown hotel, Jock snarlingly declares to Bobby, "Now you listen to me, boy. The Takapa resort is going to be built!" Bobby tries to explain to his obnoxiously overbearing daddy that an entire panel of senators will be voting on the matter - but an agitated Jock nonsensically growls, "You're still my son, whichever place you're working at." Bobby points out that that doesn't give him the right to influence his vote, to which Jock bellows, "I'm not trying to influence you. I'm telling you what I want you to do!" Bwahahaha! Bobby makes clear that as an elected official he won't allow himself to be railroaded into voting a certain way, tells his idiot father he should have pulled out of the Takapa deal months ago, and that a parcel of swampland couldn't possibly be worth more to him than his forty-five year marriage. Jock grumbles that Miss Ellie has backed him into a corner, but then sheepishly agrees to make a compromise if Bobby can help him find a way out of this tedious Takapa turmoil.
Miss Ellie tells her lawyer (Lincoln Hargrove) that she can't bear to live with Jock anymore - and Hargrove looks aghast, reminds her that she and Jock have been married for forty-five years, and strongly urges her to sort out whatever problems they may have. Miss Ellie says their problems run too deep, snarls, "To hell with the empire", and asks Hargrove if he's going to take the case or not. Hargrove says he's going to need some time to mull that over and promises to call her, and Miss Ellie makes it clear that if he doesn't want to represent her, she'll find another lawyer who'd be more than happy to.
Dave Stratton remarks to Jeremy Wendell that JR seemed kinda anxious when the Southeast Asian counter-revolution came up in conversation during the previous episode, then says that so far no one's been able to ID him as the coup's financier. Jeremy says that perhaps Cliff will be able to connect the dots, then tells Jeremy to cooperate with JR - but report directly to him any findings Cliff stumbles upon.
Over at Ewing Oil, JR gets a complete inventory of all company assets, much to the concern of his accountant, Baxter, who says it sounds as though he wants to sell the company. JR tells him to shut it with his observations and just get him the info he asks for whenever he asks for it.
Sue Ellen rushes to the nursery to comfort an under-the-weather Baby John, then calls Clint to cancel the day's nooner.
Pam is doing some paperwork in the Southfork sitting room when Sue Ellen wanders in and mutters about how worried she is about Baby John. She adds that the doctor paid him a house call and pronounced his cold a mild illness, and Pam says it's understandable for her to worry and offers to help in any way she can. A few seconds later, Miss Ellie and Donna return from downtown, and Miss Ellie breaks the news that she's thinking seriously of ending her shittastic marriage. After she ambles off, a stunned Pam's all, "I can't believe it", while Sue Ellen wryly says she's surprised that those two have been married this long. LOL. She tells Donna and Pam that love doesn't count for much when it comes to any man that has Ewing blood in him - Ray included - then idly wonders what JR plans to do with himself when Ewing Oil gets dismantled as part of the divorce settlement.
Lincoln Hargrove heads straight to Ewing Oil to blab about Miss Ellie's intention to divorce Jock...and does this while seeming completely unconcerned about disbarment for violating client-lawyer privilege. Hargrove urges JR to stop his parents from divorcing, not least 'cause Miss Ellie doesn't seem to give a rat's ass about the destruction of Ewing Oil in the process. JR promises to try to salvage the situation...and after Hargrove exits the office, he phones Jeremy Wendell and says they're going to need to move fast if he has any desire to acquire Ewing Oil.
Mitch apologizes to Lucy for acting like such an assbag the night before, and Lucy softens as the two exchange I love yous and walk arm-in-arm towards the bedroom for a morning romp. They're interrupted by a knock on the door by one of Lucy's photo shoot flunkies to inform her that the limo is waiting. As Mitch twitches unhappily, Lucy promises to fix him dinner when she gets home after modelling all day.
JR summons Dave Stratton to Oil Ewing and orders him to keep in contact with Cliff and report back what he's up to, along with any info he's gathered on the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Dave says he may have to feed Cliff something in exchange, and JR says he'd be more than happy to give him bits of useless intel to pass along to Cliff.
While dining out, Rebecca tells Pam that her daughter Katherine is interested in meeting her half-sister and hopefully half-brother. As Pam expresses sympathy for what happened with Cliff last episode, Cliff happens to be in the same restaurant and spots the two dining together.
Leslie tells JR she found a superb suite of offices for her new PR company, which include a bedroom for when she has to work late. JR's penis perks up at the mention of a bedroom, and he asks her if she'd be willing to suspend her 'no sex with married men' policy, to which she responds by saying she can always stay in her current shitty office space. JR backs off and urges her to go ahead with renting the luxury office suite she wants, and the two smooch intensely - just as Louella enters the office to remind JR about his meeting with Jeremy Wendell.
Clint gives Sue Ellen a tour of his electronics company and proudly tells her he spent the last ten years building it...but that he's willing to give it all up for her in case he loses it in the divorce settlement. What a dumb chump. Sue Ellen urges him not to divorce his wife 'cause of how content she is with their daily nooners - but Clint says he won't settle for sneaking around, wants her to be his wife not his mistress, and is now going to passively wait for her to come to him whenever she decides she feels the same way.
JR reads the fine print of Jeremy Wendell's Ewing Oil acquisition contract before signing...and Jeremy reminds him that in order to make it binding, Jock also has to sign it. He tells JR that he committed to his board that this was going to happen, regardless of Jock's/Miss Ellie's marriage status, and JR breezily assures him they have a deal.
Leslie returns to her apartment and finds her ex-husband Craig waiting for her. She tells him she's delighted to see him, then gives him the low-down on her latest target: JR Ewing. She chuckles about what a valuable client he's been, and how she's been holding him at arm's length 'cause she correctly assumes that once they hit the sheets he'll lose interest in her pretty quick. She tells Craig that if she were successful in suckering JR into marrying her, she'd get a great client list out of it, along with an enormous divorce settlement. [Assuming he'd neglect to ask her to sign a prenup, which I find highly doubtful.] Craig glances around the room and asks her if she's taping this conversation, and she laughs and says she only tapes people who are useful to her...and that he ceased being useful to her the moment he divorced her.
Cliff bursts into Pam's office at The Store to inform her that the woman he saw her eating lunch with yesterday is a fraudster who's pretending to be a friend of their mother's. Pam calls him a damn fool with his bitterness and suspicious nature and breaks the news that the alleged fraudster is their bio mom.
Senate committee hearing! The panel is ready to discuss all things Takapa in front of both interested parties: Unified Development (Jock et. al.) and The DOA (Miss Ellie et. al.). As the hearing gets underway, Bobby interjects to tell the senators he's pretty sure he can save the committee a lengthy hearing by suggesting a compromise. When he's given the green light, he displays a regional map of Takapa and points at a parcel of semi-developed land located in close proximity to the swampland the DOA wants to preserve. He explains that he purchased this land with his own funds, and is willing to donate it to Unified Development in exchange for them agreeing to donate the original Takapa parcel of land to the state of Texas to be designated a wildlife preserve. After a few seconds of excited tittering by everyone in attendance, the senators agree that, yep, it's a fair and reasonable proposal...and both Unified Development and the DOA concur. Hurray! After the hearing adjourns, a pleased looking Jock tells Miss Ellie he's sooooo glad this storyline is finally over, but she just shoots him the stink-eye and snarls, "The only thing that's over is this hearing", and stomps off as Ray and Donna stare after her concernedly.
At Southfork that evening, Pam tells Bobby that since Miss Ellie looks supremely pissed off, she assumed that he voted against the DOA at the hearing. Bobby says, in fact, he worked out "a pretty terrific compromise" that made both sides happy, and Pam sheepishly apologizes for leaping to the wrong conclusion.
Afton is singing in the Stardrift Lounge as Cliff hangs with Dave Stratton and tells him about the gut feeling he has that JR was somehow involved in the Southeast Asian counter-revolution, and is determined to figure out how it links to Hank Johnson. Dave asks him why he's so interested in something that doesn't remotely concern him, and Cliff just shrugs and says that since he doesn't have a fucking life, everything about Ewing Oil fascinates him. The camera then pans over to the stage where Afton is singing...and stays fixed on the bosomy blonde for the entire duration of her song (!). After she takes her final bow, she ambles over to where Cliff is sitting and asks if she knows him...and he's like, "Hey, that's my line!" and invites her to join him for a drink. Afton says he actually does look familiar to her, and the two quickly learn that he's Pam's brother and she's Lucy's sister-in-law. She tells Cliff that the Ewings have been very kind to her, particularly JR, and Cliff is all, "I'll just bet he has" but then seems intrigued by her slutty connection to his archenemy.
Jock calls JR at the office to grumble about how impossible it is to communicate with Miss Ellie, and therefore assumes that the divorce is a go. JR tells him he's been in talks with Jeremy Wendell about selling Ewing Oil - just as Ray arrives at Jock's hotel room to travel with him to the new Takapa development site. JR insists that they urgently need to talk, but Jock growls, "Not now" and hangs up on him.
Ray and Donna conspire to get Jock and Miss Ellie to run into each other at Casa Yokel so they can quickly make up [and wrap up filming Jim Davis' final scenes now that, sadly, he's about to become far too ill to make it to the Dallas set anymore]. Ray tells Miss Ellie he knows that the main source of tension is Jock's announcement that he's his bio son, which led to Gary no longer feeling guilty about starring in Dallas' spin-off show. Ray insists that he never intended to hurt her by making her think he ever presumed to take Gary's place, and she bitchily snaps, "It's a little late for that!" Ray [somehow refrains from telling her where she can stuff her bitchitude] and says he went to his lawyer last night and had papers drawn up that bar him from having any legal claim to Southfork or the Ewing spawns' trust, and hands them to Miss Ellie so she can look them over. As Jock gruffly warns him to not give up his birthright, Miss Ellie tells Ray that she can't let him do this, and admits that she's been clinging to the futile hope that Gary will one day want to return to Southfork. She acknowledges that he's likely never coming back, given how miserable he always was on the ranch, and nonsensically blamed him (Ray) and also channelled all of her hurt and anger in Operation Save Takapa From Being Developed Into a Shopping Mall. She tearfully tells Ray, "You are a Ewing" and says she wants him to stay at Southfork...and when a hopeful looking Jock asks if that invitation extends to him, she smilingly replies, "Oh yes." She asks Jock to forgive her for nearly destroying their marriage, and he replies, "There's nothing to forgive" - despite how cuntily she's behaved towards Ray for the last twelve episodes - and the two happily exchange I love yous and declare all of their marital problems water under the bridge.
Recap: JR emerges from the bathroom and looks dismayed to find Sue Ellen enjoying breakfast in bed. He asks her if she plans to lounge around in bed all day, and she's like, "Yeah, maybe" and asks if he even cares. He replies, "No, of course not. I thought you'd know that by now", and Sue Ellen assures him she's well aware of how tiny a rat's ass he gives about her or anything she does, and wonders why he'd even bother asking. When JR bitchily says he wonders why he married her in the first place, she reminds him that he couldn't get her into bed while they were unwed...and he bitterly mutters, "Now I can't seem to get you out of it." LOL. After the two firmly establish that neither could give less of a shit if the other lives or dies, JR ambles over to the hideously decorated nursery and promises Baby John that the two of them are going to spend a lot more time together, then tells the tot it's very possible his lethargic mama may not be living at Southfork for much longer.
When Bobby returns to Southfork just after breakfast has wrapped up, JR blabs to Ray and Donna that Bobby is on a senate committee that's tasked with voting on Takapa. Bobby wryly assures a smirky JR that he can handle the pressure of being put in the middle of his parents' tedious squabble, then heads upstairs with Pam. After JR rushes off to work, Ray tells Donna he predicts that Bobby will vote in favor of Jock's development project, then explains, "It stands to reason; he can't vote against his daddy. No way."
Pam asks Bobby if what JR just said is really true, and Bobby confirms it and laments, "Either way I vote, I lose" - but says he absolutely refuses to recuse himself from the panel. Pam looks appalled by the possibility of him voting against the interests of either of his parents, and Bobby says he prefers to think of it more like voting for what he believes is right, then sanctimoniously declares, "I believe in my own integrity and I'm going to stand up and I'm going to be counted. Even if we have to leave Southfork. Or even Dallas." Pam's all "Yippeeeeeeee!!!" about the prospect of moving away from her shitty in-laws [sorry, no - that was just me, projecting] - but would prefer not to leave Dallas now that her mother has just moved back to town. Bobby's all, "Wuh? She has..?", then calls Rebecca's relocation to Dallas wonderful, and breezily assures Pam that he's pretty sure somehow things will all work out.
Mitch runs into his gal pal in the campus diner and bellyaches about how Lucy left the condo at the crack of dawn to bask in the limelight of being the world's runtiest fashion model while surrounded by flunkies who've been hired to wait on her hand and foot. He complains "it's just not right" that Lucy earns the big bucks by sitting around and getting her picture taken, while he works soooo much harder for far less cash. The gal pal, who looks outright disinterested in discussing this sore spot in Mitch's marriage, shrugs and mumbles that she can't grasp what his problem is...so Mitch explains that, to him, material things can only have meaning if he earned the money to buy them by working his fingers to the bone.
Jock returns home and is told by Ray and Donna that Bobby now sits on the senate committee that will vote on Takapa. Jock nods approvingly while growling, "That's one vote we can count on" ... and Miss Ellie enters the room and asks him if he really thinks so little of Bobby, then accuses both him and Ray of wanting to "ravage the land". Jock insists that Bobby is smart enough to understand "good business", while Ray denies that they're land ravagers simply because they want to turn uninhabited swampland into something fun and useful. [Incidentally, is it even advisable to build something like a shopping center on swampland?] Miss Ellie chides Ray for not having a higher regard for the swampland, then bitchily accuses him of changing his values now that he's been officially declared a Ewing spawn. Jock bellows, "Damn it, woman! Get off Ray's back!" and complains that ever since she got interested in preserving swampland she hasn't "been fit to live with", and that he won't put up with it no 'mo. He barks, "I'm going to Dallas!" and Miss Ellie barks back that he should stay there if he's going to behave like such a prickly dickwad. After Ray rushes out of the room after Jock, Donna gently asks Miss Ellie, "What now?", and a sullen Miss Ellie replies, "At this moment, I don't give a damn."
Miss Ellie is lounging in the pre-dinner drinks sitting room by herself when JR arrives home and asks where Jock is. She tells him that she and The Grizzled One are separated, then dismissively says if he wants more info, he's going to have to talk to his daddy.
Rebecca tells Pam she really really wants to reunite with Cliff, and Pam warns her that Cliff is the bitter sort who doesn't trust people, and would more than likely pretend to love her 'cause of how wealthy she is. When a horrified looking Rebecca's all, "Wha-a-a?", Pam assures her that while it's a harsh assessment of her brother, it's completely spot on.
Leslie thanks JR for hooking her up with two prospective clients, and JR beams and proudly says he has the power to make her the most successful PR expert in Dallas. Leslie says it'll take time to build up her clientele, but that it's well worth the effort...as is their [non-existent] future together. JR assures her he's more than willing to prove how desperately he wants to jump into the sack with her - but adds that the timing isn't right, given that his parents' marriage appears to be on the verge of collapse.
After enjoying a game of tennis, Clint tells Sue Ellen he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and would looooove to buy them a house with a tennis court. Sue Ellen scrunches her face concernedly and says she doesn't want to hurt anyone, thinks things are perfect the way they are now, and doesn't want to add to Miss Ellie's/Jock's problems by initiating a divorce from JR.
Lucy returns home after a long day at the photo shoot. She kisses Mitch hello, grumbles about having to pose for thirty set-ups, then shows him the 18-carat gold necklace the garment folks let her keep. Mitch reacts by admonishing her for coming home so late, complains about how they're more like roommates than spouses, and expresses his resentment about the fact that they're not living on his meagre earnings, the way he decreed they would. Lucy mocks the idea of getting by on "the nickels and dimes" he earns as a valet and lab assistant, then rails about how fed up she is with his stupid macho act. He retorts, "I guess there's nothing left to be said!" and storms out of the condo, leaving Lucy staring sadly into space.
Over at Southfork, Bobby urges JR to talk some sense into Jock, but JR says he's not touching that with a 10-foot pole and reminds him how stubborn their crotchety daddy can be [but refrains from mentioning how spineless he always is when it comes to him needing to stand up to Jock]. He adds that the marriage could soon end in divorce, which means goodbye, Ewing Oil if a judge orders them to sell the company and divide up the profits.
Rebecca drops by Cliff's office pretending to be an old friend of his mother's. She tells him his mother would like to see him...and when he replies, "Uh, I assumed she was dead", Rebecca assures him she's very much alive and that she loves him. Cliff snarls that the woman doesn't know what love means, and that he couldn't care less if she's alive or dead. Rebecca reacts by staring back at him tearfully.
Mitch is studying with his gal pal, whining to her again about how he and Lucy don't share the same values...but that he doesn't entirely blame her for being so spoiled, given that she's a Ewing. The gal pal musters as much interest as she can in his ongoing marital issues and advises that one of them is going to have to change if they want to continue being married.
Back at Southfork, Donna tells Miss Ellie that Takapa isn't worth losing her marriage over, and Miss Ellie says it's somewhat of a moot point, given how broken her marriage now is. She bitterly says that things were fine as long as she gave in on everything and was always the one to keep the peace, then frowns and says that Jock has disrupted her life once too often. When Donna insists that Jock loves her, she replies, "I can't put up with the Ewing ways anymore", and laments not being able to warn Donna about how toxic life can be when a woman marries a Ewing douchebag.
Cliff is hanging out in the Stardrift Lounge (where Afton sings) when he runs into his old college friend, Dave Stratton, who's sitting with two lovely ladies he introduces as the Smith sisters. Dave tells Cliff he works in the oil business and does a lot travelling...and Cliff perks up when Dave mentions that he just got back from Southeast Asia, and that he had been in whatever unnamed country just endured a counter-revolution.
Bobby asks his assistant Phyllis to find out who owns a parcel of land located near the prospective Takapa development, and she promises to look into it first thing in the morning.
Dave and the Smith sisters accompany Cliff to his apartment, where Dave tells Cliff that word on the street is that the Southeast Asian counter-revolution was financed by someone in the States. Cliff mulls that over for a few seconds, then asks if a certain Hank Johnson was there...and Dave says he was, but then dropped out of sight just before the bloodless coup began. Cliff stares contemplatively into space as he absorbs this juicy intel.
The next morning, Phyllis tells Bobby she can't seem to figure out who owns the mysterious parcel of land, then explains that the taxes are paid from a bank account in Waco, and the property is listed under a faux corporation. A few seconds later, Cliff calls to remind Bobby that his plane to Austin (to attend the senate committee meeting) leaves in an hour, so Bobby tells him he's going to need a delay, and that all will be explained when he arrives.
Rebecca tells Pam about how badly her conversation with Cliff went, and Pam's like, "Well d'yuh. I told you so." Rebecca tearfully regrets abandoning Cliff when he was a mere child, then says she has to be totes OK with her son only pretending he loves her so he can get money out of her.
JR drops by Jock's hotel room to tell his daddy that he and Miss Ellie can't stay apart forever, to which Jock growls, "The hell we can't" and says their rapidly deteriorating marriage might well end up in divorce. JR tells him there's more at stake than just the two of them splitting up, and reminds him that Texas is a community property state that will surely divide up Ewing Oil in the event of a divorce. Jock snaps, "Over my dead body, boy!" and says he'd sooner sell Ewing Oil than let his she-devil of a wife destroy it.
Over at Casa Yokel, Donna tells Ray she haaaates that Miss Ellie and Jock are fighting to the point of being separated. Ray says he's fairly optimistic that since the two have been married for forty-five years they'll get through the Takapa crisis - but Donna argues that the problems go deeper than just Takapa, and that she's never seen Miss Ellie so bitter and angry.
Miss Ellie is sitting in the empty dining room, staring sadly into space as she contemplates the hopeless pit of hell her life has become ever since she began obsessing about preserving uninhabited swampland.
JR drops by Jeremy Wendell's office at Westar Oil, where he's introduced to Dave Stratton, who blabs to JR about how he joined Cliff Barnes for a drink the other night. He tells JR that Cliff was intrigued when he told him that the Southeast Asian counter-revolution was financed by someone in the States, and even more intrigued when he learned that Hank Johnson suddenly disappeared around that time. JR remains poker-faced at the mention of Hank Johnson...and after Dave exits the office, JR fibs to Jeremy that he has zero knowledge about anything Southeast Asia/counter-revolution related and changes the subject to his parents' crumbling marriage. He tell Jeremy he wants to avoid Ewing Oil being part of the divorce settlement...and goes on to say that if an autonomous Ewing Oil were under the general ownership of Westar Oil, he would have a list of requirements: a suitable title, substantial cash, generous stock options, and a kick-ass retirement package. Jeremy nods and says he always likes a solid acquisition, and JR grins while dramatically declaring, "Jeremy, I'm here to sell you Ewing Oil."
Recap: Punk Anderson is grumbling to Ray and (lawyer friend) Harv Smithfield about how the DOA (Daughters of the Alamo) ladies got the better of them...and Harv concurs and says that the temporary kibosh on their Takapa development is out of their hands now that it's a matter for the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry to vote on. Sounds intense. Punk growls at Ray for not heeding his warning about how much trouble Miss Ellie and Donna could mean for them...and Ray acknowledges that they underestimated the ladies' savvy, to which Punk snaps, "What they've got is husbands who can't control their women!" Ray's all, "Whoa! Hold on!" and suggests to the hillbilly misogynist that they look into whatever kind of help they can get from the elected officials in Austin...and Punk perks up at that and says they're going to need to start calling in favors.
After breakfasting on the Southfork patio, Bobby and Pam agree to put their tedious marital problems behind them, then hug and exchange I love yous before Pam heads off to work. Miss Ellie emerges from the house looking grim-faced...and when Bobby asks her if she and Jock are going to be able to settle their differences, she shrugs despondently and says she's determined to bring the Takapa turdpile matter to court, and absolutely refuses to compromise what she believes in. Bobby cries, "You're choosing swampland over your marriage!" and Miss Ellie's like, "Well d'yuh" and reminds him about all the shit Jock has kept her in the dark about over the years, and is therefore more than willing to put her marriage on the line in an effort to protect something as random as unspoiled swampland. A few seconds later, Donna arrives to pick her up, and the two head off to strategize.
JR calls Leslie Stewart and leaves her a message to come by Ewing Oil asap...and while he's doing that, Leslie is in her apartment and listening to the message without making a move to answer the phone. Sue Ellen ambles downstairs and amusedly asks JR if he's having trouble with "the help" ... and after he shoots her the stink-eye before stalking off, she answers an incoming call from Clint, who invites her to meet up with him for another nooner. Sue Ellen lights up and purrs, "I'm hungry already." Mmm hmm..
Jock returns home and runs into Bobby, who urges him to pull out of the Takapa deal and let Punk and Pat find a different investor. Jock growls that he doesn't want to leave his friends high and dry, and insists that Takapa is important to him...and when he starts bellyaching about all the trouble Miss Ellie is causing, Bobby points out that she's just doing what she believes in. Jock snarls, "So am I!", says he gave his word to his friends, and is stubbornly refusing to back down.
Downtown, Miss Ellie asks Donna if she knew that Jock was an investor in the Takapa project, and Donna says she did, but had zero desire to come between her and Jock by revealing that nugget of juicy intel. When she admits that Ray also knew, Miss Ellie says she's not surprised, given that the yokel is now a full on Ewing spawn...then rails once again about all the secrets Jock has kept from her during their many decades of marriage.
Over at Ewing Oil, Leslie tells JR she has spent the last day or so wandering around, pretending to wrestle with her conscience...then hands him her letter of resignation for overstepping her boundaries. JR's all, "Wuh?" and calls the move drastic, and she implores him to not make this more difficult than it needs to be, and moans about how it's the first time she's failed in her professional life. She sadly adds, "I'm just sorry it had to be you" before dejectedly shuffling out of his office.
Over at The Store, Rebecca Wentworth unexpectedly drops in to see Pam, and Pam's all, "Hiya ma!" and suggests they have lunch.
Bobby is settling into his senatorial office when Cliff arrives and gives him the low-down on his committee assignments: Committee For Industrial Relations (BO-ring), and Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry (BO-ring, but also problematic). Cliff grimaces and tells Bobby that the latter usually includes stuff that a lot of senators don't want to touch...and in this case the issue on the table is deciding what to do regarding the DOA's proposal to have the Takapa swampland declared preserved wildlife, which is in direct conflict with Jock's plans to build a shopping center.
Over lunch, Rebecca breaks the news to Pam that her sugar daddy husband died, and that she sold their ginormous Houston house and is now looking for a permanent place to live. Pam suggests she reside in Dallas, and urges Rebecca to also invite her half-sister Katherine to move to Dallas. Rebecca asks how Cliff is going to feel 'bout that...and a sheepish Pam's all, "Oops, I haven't actually told him you're alive yet." She suggests they start with a friendlier option, aka joining her and Bobby for dinner - but Rebecca says she's not up to meeting any Ewing and asks Pam to take her house-hunting instead.
Donna tells Bobby she didn't expect him to end up on a committee that would put him squarely between Jock and Miss Ellie, then says the only thing he can really do it vote his conscience. Bobby contemplates that notion as he stares back at her with his default wooden expression.
Back at Southfork, Jock tells JR that his relationship with Miss Ellie is still in the shitter, then admonishes him again for letting Leslie ruin the cartel's strip mining deal. JR fibs and says he fired Leslie for her impudence, then promises to do his best to get Ewing Oil back into the cartel's good graces.
Sue Ellen and Clint arrive at a posh hotel room to enjoy their second nooner, then reminisce about all the romps they enjoyed during their college years. Clint coos about how much he wanted her back then, pours her a glass of [hopefully non-alcoholic] champagne, and laments not being able to hold onto her after JR came sniffing around and somehow convinced her he was marriageable material. Sue Ellen tells Clint to shut it and just enjoy the moment, but then stares sadly into space while reflecting on all the good men in her life who have abandoned her.
Bobby drops by Casa Yokel to tell Ray they have to do something about the Takapa conundrum. When Ray's all, "Whaddya want me to do about it?", Bobby suggests he convince Jock to pull out so that the dumb thing doesn't completely destroy his marriage. Ray points out that Jock was involved with Takapa long before "the do gooders" starting objecting to developing the swampland...and when Bobby points out that his own wife is one of those do gooders, Ray explains that they've agreed to leave the issue at the door. Bobby says he doesn't much like the hard line he's drawing, or the way he's talking like a dickish Ewing while insisting on retaining the [awful sounding] Krebs name...and Ray just shrugs and tells him he's going to have to learn to live with that.
Jordan Lee calls Jock to rail about Ewing Oil's policy statement that was just published in The Wall Street Journal...and a confused Jock grabs the paper from Bobby, reads the statement, and snarls, "What in the hell has JR done now?!"
JR arrives at Ewing Oil and comes face-to-face with a large crowd of reporters in the foyer, shouting questions about if he truly stands by the policy statement. JR rushes into his office with Louella to find out what in blazes they're talking about, so she shows him the full page article that Leslie wrote up and titled Ewing fights those who rape the land, ruin the air, and run roughshod over environmental restrictions. An aghast JR mutters, "OMG.." while Louella tells him he's gotten a bunch of messages from ecology and environmental groups, along with a call from the governor. JR returns to the foyer...and when asked by a reporter if Ewing Oil is on a crusade to protect the environment, he replies, "Absolutely", pretends as though Ewing Oil just had a come to Jesus moment about the wretched environmental impacts of strip mining and is an oil company that now stands for more than just profits, and invites the reporters to resume the impromptu press conference in his office.
Sue Ellen is in session with Dr. Ellby, waxing on about how awesome it is to hit the sheets with Clint during their now regular lunch hour trysts. She then admits that she's carrying on with this married man 'cause Dusty is lost to her forever and that she has a pathological neeeeeed to be adored by someone. Dr. Ellby warns her that Clint may choose to stay married to his wife, and she assures him she's A-OK with that...then dreamily stares into space and says that Clint was the first man she was ever in love with, and that her college years - during which she was elected Campus Queen and then voted Miss Texas - were the happiest of her life.
While house hunting, Rebecca tells Pam that returning to Dallas after all these years is going to be difficult for her, and that she really should meet Cliff before she fully settles in.
Over at Casa Shortstack, Lucy is giving an interview to the host of the local TV Morning Show while decked out in a silly newsboy cap [for the second time in as many episodes], a white blouse with a bowtie, and pants with matching suspenders. Mitch happens to stop by the condo to pick up something he forgot - but the producer bars him from coming anywhere near the filming and bitchily orders "Mr. Ewing" to step far away from the cameras and lighting equipment. Mitch backs up to the doorway, snarls, "Mr. Ewing has backed up as far as he's going to", and stalks off, while Lucy stares after him and scrunches her face concernedly.
Bobby is attending his first meeting of the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry, where the topic du jour is the temporary injunction against development of the Takapa swampland. One of the senators expresses concern about Bobby's conflict of interest, given that the Ewing family has a present financial interest in the matter, and asks him to remove himself from the panel...and Bobby's all, "Wha-a-a?" and scrunches his face in irked puzzlement.
Jordan Lee storms over to Ewing Oil and demands to see JR before railing at the two secretaries about JR et. al. being "a bunch of do gooders". JR quickly intervenes and hustles him over to his office, where Jordan bellows, "Just what in the hell are you doing?!" JR reminds him about how the cartel made itself scarce when Ewing Oil was going through the Southeast Asian Oil Well Quagmire and is now looking to attract new sources of capital. Jordan calls the cartel's abandonment of Ewing Oil "old news", and whines about the impending federal investigation into their strip mining deal. JR shrugs disinterestedly and says that that prolly would have happened anyway...and Jordan snarks that they're now going to have to scrap the entire project, grumbles about "the bad hand" Ewing Oil just dealt them, and storms out of the office.
In a campus diner, Mitch overhears a group of horny young men admiring Lucy's cover shot on Young Dallas Magazine while cackling about how the blonde hottie married a med student. Mitch is about to storm over and confront them when one of his classmates appears out of nowhere and and asks if she can borrow his class notes. As the young men get progressively crasser about wanting to do the nasty with Lucy, Mitch seethes, "That's my wife they're talking about about" - but his gal pal advises him to "just live with it".
Bobby tells Cliff he's worried about pissing off both of his parents by being on the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry, and Cliff points out that he should, uh, be a lot more worried about serving his constituents and demonstrating to them that he's not in the pocket of big business. After the lunch break, Bobby explains to the senators on the panel that he won't recuse himself from this case 'cause he promised his district that he'd represent them and won't back out of the committee just 'cause he's between a rock and a hard place. He firmly states, "I'm in", and the collection of old white men stare back at him in befuddled annoyance.
When JR drops by Leslie's apartment, she tells him she's leaving Dallas for a job out east...and JR's all, "Wha-a-a?", says he needs her here, and offers to give her the kind of backing she'll need to start up her own PR firm. Leslie tells him that that isn't going to work 'cause she wants something more: him (with no marital entanglements). JR replies, "You got me" and breezily calls his marriage to Sue Ellen "a minor inconvenience" - but Leslie says she's steadfast in her refusal to come between a man and his trophy wife. She tells him he's free to do what he wants...and when he asks her if she'd fully succumb to his charms if he were to divorce Sue Ellen, she cagily replies, "The ball's in your court."
And, quite clearly, in her purse.
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Recap: JR rails to Sue Ellen how annoyed he is that Jock is cutting Ray in on the Ewing spawns' multi-million dollar trust fund, and that he senses trouble with the yokel he can only assume will turn out to be a money-grubbing half-brother. When he asks Sue Ellen what she thinks of all this, she spacily retorts, "What could any of this possibly matter to me?", shoots him a glazed-over stink-eye for several long seconds, then stalks out of the room. LOL.
Downstairs at the breakfast table, Miss Ellie tells Jock she's pissed off that he changed their sons' trust without bothering to talk to her about it first...and when he starts trying to explain himself, she cuts him off and tells him she's off to work on Mission Stop the Takapa Development. Jock's like, "Uh, about that.." and says there's something he really needs to tell her, but she insists she has no time and rushes out of the room, leaving Jock staring worriedly after her.
Over at Casa Yokel, Donna tells Ray she's meeting with Miss Ellie and their ladyfolk friends to press ahead with Mission Stop the Takapa Development and adds that since Jock can't bring himself to tell his own wife he's one of the principle investors, she doesn't feel like it's her place to do so. Ray suggests she back off the movement, not least 'cause it's "a goldmine of a deal" that Jock wants him to be a part of...and Donna's all, "Wuh? Where's the cowboy simpleton I fell in love with?" Ray points out that since he's officially a Ewing now, he has all sorts of new opportunities available to him...and the two start bickering about what the hell that means until Ray abruptly stops, says they're clearly going to be on opposite sides of the Takapa issue, and suggests they never ever bring it up at home. Donna mulls that over, agrees with an 'amen', then leans in for a smooch.
Pam has accompanied Lucy to Alex Ward's office for her modelling audition, and for some reason Lucy has decked herself out in a fussy pink blouse with a blue bowtie and a silly newsboy cap. When Alex asks her if she has a resume or a lookbook, she blankly replies, "No and no", so he writes down the name of a reputable photographer and tells her to have some photographs taken and then come back so he can rubberstamp her hiring. A relieved looking Lucy chirps, "That was so easy!" and scampers off while Alex buzzes his secretary to summon Pam. When she appears in his doorway, he looks visibly dazzled by the sight of her [still sporting that wretched Donna Summer style hairdo] and tells her on the down-low he's totes willing to just give Lucy the job...then remarks that Lucy's actually pretty enough to have gotten it without her connections. He tells Pam he cares sooooo much about being in her good graces - but Pam makes it clear that she doesn't expect any special treatment regarding Lucy's audition, then rushes off to a meeting.
Sue Ellen is in a session with Dr. Ellby, nattering about the joy she felt finding Dusty alive, and that she'd be totes A-OK if they proceeded with a sexless relationship - but since Dusty adamantly refuses to go that route, nothing in her life means anything. Dr. Ellby encourages her to look deep inside herself, then points out that she somehow managed to find the strength to endure this wistful pain and make a mature decision to put Dusty's needs over her own desires. He equates this to "real progress", then lays out the three life choices currently available to her:
Sue Ellen stares blankly into space before murmuring, "I dunno" and pretends as though she'd actually give any consideration to a life that doesn't entail sponging off of a rich husband and/or lover.
JR and Leslie Stewart are watching the election coverage for the state senate, during which newscasters predict that Bobby is about to win in a landslide victory. Leslie remarks on how proud the family must be of him, and JR mutters, "At the moment", then says he expects the fur to fly once Bobby is forced to take a position on the Takapa project 'cause either way it'll irritate Jock or alienate Miss Ellie. A few seconds later, Jordan Lee calls to tell JR he'd like to come by tomorrow to discuss some investment idea the cartel is interested in now that the de-nationalization of the Southeast Asian oil leases has vastly improved their cash flow. Leslie perks up at that and asks JR if she could sit in on the meeting, and he's like 'sure, what could possibly go wrong with that?'
Jock, Ray, and Punk Anderson are watching the election coverage, visibly delighted with Bobby's projected win. The three toast the new senator, and Punk happily says they can consider the Takapa development a done deal now that a Ewing is in the senate.
Cliff is out boozing and broodily watching the election coverage. He glares up at the small TV mounted over the bar and growls, "Damn you, Bobby Ewing."
Bobby heads onto the campaign headquarters stage, with Pam and the rest of the Ewing clan in tow, to deliver his victory speech. He thanks his supporters, promises to be the most conscientious, hardworking senator in the Texas legislature, and hopes to not piss off too many constituents with his brand of problem-solving. As the crowd cheers, he gives Pam a long, hard smooch.
Later at Southfork, Bobby promises Pam that his new job will make a wonderful difference in their lives, and she tells him she's hopeful of that, but can't help worrying about how upset Cliff is right now. She hastily assures Bobby that it's not his fault her loser brother can't find meaningful employment 'cause of how fixated he always is on whatever the Ewings are up to, and gushes about how proud she is of his senate win. When they head up to the bedroom, Bobby chuckles about the congratulations gift Pam left for him on the bed: a wooden "soap box" for his important speeches. He tells her he loves the gag gift...and that he'll try it out after they're done enjoying an inaugural romp.
Leslie arrives home to find her former lover, Justin Carlisle, sitting on her couch. He explains that he kept her key in case she might need him...and when she says, "Why in blazes would I need you?", he cacklingly says that JR didn't exactly hire her for her PR expertise, and that he's not going to be satisfied with hand-holding for much longer. Leslie holds her door open and orders him to go home...and as he lumbers toward the door, he warns her that her continual refusal to hit the sheets with JR is going to result in him firing her for services non-rendered. When he adds that he'll be there to help her pick up the pieces, Leslie snappishly retorts, "Don't hold your breath", says she knows what she can accomplish for JR, and insists that he still needs her. After Justin exits her apartment, Leslie mutters to herself, "He just has to be reminded how much."
Later at Southfork, JR tells Jock that the cartel has an interesting deal brewing that they want Ewing Oil to get in on - just as Bobby enters the room, prompting Jock to grizzle about how delighted he is about his senate win.
Sue Ellen stands in front of Dusty's big white house, which now has a for sale sign on the front lawn. She then sadly turns around and sashays back to her car.
During a wedding planning session, Donna tells Ray she wants to invite Jock and Miss Ellie to witness their I dos - but Ray says that the two aren't on such great terms these days and suggests they invite Bobby and Pam instead. Donna mulls that over and decides she loves that idea.
Sue Ellen calls Clint to invite him to lunch, and he tells her he's definitely up for that and suggests they meet at Madison's at 12:30pm. [Looks like Sue Ellen decided to go with Dr. Ellby's number #2 life option.]
Over at Ewing Oil, Jordan Lee and Marilee Stone are pitching an investment proposition to JR that entails a big swathe of oil-rich land in southern Utah. Leslie interrupts to clarify if what they're peddling is strip mining, then reminds them that this type of extraction presents a host of hazards both to human health and the environment. As Jordan and Marilee glare daggers at her and demand to know where she gets the nerve to be so impudent, she explains that she specializes in PR and, at JR's behest, worked very hard to remake the image of Ewing Oil as a friendly, less land-rapey fossil fuel company. Jordan avoids addressing the completely legitimate issue Leslie has raised, and instead snarls at JR about how angry he is for letting his PR hussy do the talking for him, and accuses this of being a "tail wagging the dog" type situation. He then storms out of the office, followed by an equally vexed Marilee...and once they're out of earshot, an unfazed Leslie tells JR she's soooo glad she was present at the meeting, not least 'cause those two idiots could have dragged Ewing Oil through the mud with their ill-thought out strip mining venture. JR responds with a stony glare and growls, "Don't you ever do that to me again" ... and when Leslie feigns confusion, he says he didn't want to shut her up in front of Jordan - but warns that she's to remain mute during all future cartel meetings. He then mutters, "Daddy's going to hit the ceiling when he hears about this." Egads!
Lucy returns to Alex Ward's office with a set of photographs of herself, and Alex calls them "very nice" and remarks on how fortunate she is to be so photogenic [given that she's suddenly aspiring to be a model]. He then throws in the towel on pretending this is a real audition and tells her he's hiring her as the very first Miss Young Dallas. As he produces an advance check for $1,000, a stunned Lucy shrieks, "Thank you!!" and excitedly races out of the office...and Alex calls Pam and leaves a message with her secretary to call him back.
Bobby drops by Cliff's office to express his sympathy for the loss of his election bid and to tell him he never meant to hurt or insult him. Cliff sourly retorts, "I'm way more qualified than you'll ever be" and Bobby's like, "No argument here. How about being my legal counsel?" Cliff mulls over the unexpected offer, takes him up on it, then says the only reason he's doing it is 'cause he can't wait to see JR's face when he learns that his brother hired a Barnes. Bobby's all, "Say wuh?" and stares back at him with concern etched across his wooden face.
Sue Ellen and Clint are enjoying a cozy lunch at Madison's. He tells her that being away on his business trip gave him a chance to think about things...and that he came to the conclusion he really doesn't want to go on like this. As Sue Ellen stares at him quizzically, he explains that he's no good at leading a double life and needs to make a choice: marriage or mistress. Sue Ellen responds by caressing his hand, cooing, "Not today", and staring at him all come hither like while making those weird pouty movements with her lips.
Jock is at the Cattlemen's Club when he runs into an angry Jordan Lee, who rails about JR letting Leslie Stewart "lead him around by the nose". He whines that it's impossible to do business with JR, then growls, "Not so long as that uppity broad is calling the shots at Ewing Oil!" ... and after he storms away, an irked Jock's all, "Damned uppity broad" and slams his fist on the table.
Sue Ellen and Clint book a hotel room and begin enjoying a post-lunch romp.
At Southfork, Jock berates JR for letting Leslie Stewart screw up the cartel deal [without acknowledging that it couldn't have been that great a deal if Jordan Lee wasn't able to articulate a reasonable response to Leslie's concerns about strip mining], then snarls, "A woman's place is in the bedroom - sure as hell not in the boardroom." Miss Ellie, who happens to hear that chauvinistic nugget, appears in the doorway and sneers, "Very nice, Jock." A red-faced Jock tries to back pedal the un-back-pedal-able by explaining that he was only reacting to JR allowing "that uppity" Leslie Stewart to spoil the cartel deal, and Miss Ellie haughtily retorts that he should know all about spoilers since he spoils everything he touches: relationships, people's lives. JR chides his mama for exaggerating, but Miss Ellie accuses both him and Jock of using people up and throwing them way...and by people she means family members. She then glares at the two of them, sneers, "You both sicken me", and stalks out of the room. Ouch.
Lucy excitedly tells Mitch she has a super fun bit of news to announce- the same time he says he has mildly interesting news to announce. Lucy insists on going first and hands him the $1,000 check she received from Alex Ward and explains that she just got hired as Miss Young Dallas and can now pay for maid service. Mitch stares at the check in stunned bewilderment and says he's never held this much money at once - LOL - then looks embarrassed as he shows her the $60 check he earned from working the last two nights instead of studying. He tells her he did it to help pay for the maid...and Lucy looks touched by his selflessness and tells him she loves him soooo much. Mitch reacts by staring despondently into space and remarking on how everything the Ewings touch turns to gold. [Or to shit. Depending on how you look at it.]
Sue Ellen is cuddling with Baby John in the nursery, promising him they'll soon start a new life elsewhere. A few seconds later, JR hovers in the doorway and admonishes her for spending so much time away from her son lately, and Sue Ellen snaps back that her son means more to her than he'll ever know. JR says he can only hope she doesn't pull a repeat of her boozing, the way she was doing when she gave birth to John, 'cause he has zero desire to go through that again.
Donna and Ray get married at the County Courthouse with Pam and Bobby in attendance. Bobby congratulates the happy couple and invites them to breakfast - but Pam says she has to decline 'cause she has a meeting she can't miss and promises to meet up with them later.
Lucy drops by Southfork to excitedly gabble at Miss Ellie about her new modelling gig. She repeats the news to Donna, Ray, and Bobby when they arrive a few seconds later...and when Lucy mentions that she owes her good fortune to Pam 'cause she asked Alex Ward to audition her, Bobby's all, "The fuck?!" and abruptly races off.
Bobby bursts into The Store looking for Pam, and Pam's assistant Jackie informs him that she's in a meeting with Liz Craig and Harrison Page. In other words, not Alex Ward. In the next scene, Bobby bursts into Alex Ward's office and bitchily warns him to stay away from his wife. An unruffled Alex admits that, yep, he finds Pam very attractive and did his best to charm her 'cause she was giving off a vibe that said she was totes up for some extramarital hanky panky. He adds that he never plays games he doesn't think he can win, and Bobby snaps, "This isn't a game!" and orders him to keep his distance. Alex urges him to talk to Pam, and points out that she never would have given him a second glance if their marriage was fine...and Bobby quietly mulls that over before slinking out of the room.
JR tries calling Leslie, but is told by her secretary that she hasn't shown up at the office today and yesterday seemed very depressed about something. He leaves a message for her to call him back...and after he hangs up, he murmurs, "Damn it, Leslie."
Bobby tells Pam he stormed over to Alex Ward's office after he heard that Lucy got a modelling job due to her influence with Alex - 'cause how the hell else would someone who's barely five feet tall get a fucking modelling job?? Bobby reminds Pam that she had promised him she wouldn't see Alex again, and Pam explains that she only spoke with Alex about auditioning Lucy, and didn't want to tell him about it 'cause she (correctly) assumed he's misunderstand. Bobby tells her that Alex pointed out there wouldn't have been any flirting between them if there wasn't something wrong with their marriage, and she's like, "Well duh" and says there was definitely something wrong with their marriage, specifically that lately she hasn't felt loved or cared for. Bobby mulls that over and asks her if she thinks they still have problems - but before she can answer, Jock interrupts to summon them downstairs to celebrate Ray's and Donna's nuptials.
Bobby toasts the happy couple...and a few seconds later, Miss Ellie says she has a happy announcement: the DOA went to court and got an injunction to stop the Takapa development. Jock pales and snaps, "What are you talking about?! I am Takapa!" - bwahahaha! - and the camera pans around the room to show the shocked reactions of Miss Ellie, Pam and Bobby, and Ray and Donna. When the camera pauses on an indifferent Sue Ellen, she raises her glass in Donna's direction and toasts, "Here's to you, Donna. Welcome to the Ewing Family." Bwahahaha!
Recap: Sue Ellen marches up to the front door of the house she gasped 'oh dear God, it can't be!' at the end of the last episode and asks the maid who answers the name of the man who just drove off. The maid says she can't reveal that...and when Sue Ellen asks her if, by chance, the man is Dusty Farlow, the maid clams up and refuses to answer. When Sue Ellen threatens to wait at the house until he returns, the maid says that the mystery man will be gone for several days, then slams the door in her face. Haha!
Hank Johnson tells JR that everything in Southeast Asia has "fallen into place" and that by tomorrow the communists will be out of power in whatever fictional country currently holds ownership of JR's oil leases. JR orders him to call back tomorrow to confirm, then buzzes Louella to ask her to track down Jordan Lee and the rest of the cartel.
Cliff is glumly boozing on his apartment balcony when Pam drops by to make sure he's OK after learning that Bobby was chosen to run for the state senate. Cliff whines about always being shit on by the Ewings...blah blah... and says he plans to spend the day filled with self-pity and bitterness. Pam points out that the committee may not have ever chosen him to run, calls him "a royal pain in the ass", and storms out...and Cliff stares at his drink and decides he doesn't want to go down the same alcoholic path as Digger and dumps the liquor.
Over at Ewing Oil, Leslie is meeting with JR when Jordan Lee arrives with the rest of the cartel in tow. JR tells them he knows it would greatly please his daddy if they could go back to doing deals together - just as Hank Johnson happens to call to share some good news. JR puts him on speaker and then turns on the TV in time to hear a news anchor announce a bloodless coup that just occurred in Southeast Asia, which has resulted in Ewing Oil's oil leases being de-nationalized. The cartel woots happily and tells JR they're so pleased by this development that they'd definitely be open to working with him again. Jordan Lee invites JR to meet up with them for a celebratory lunch at the Cattlemen's Club...and once he and the cartel are out of earshot, Leslie congratulates JR on a job well done, then asks if he knew in advance what Hank Johnson was going to call about. JR's all, "Wuh? Of course not" and pretends he had absolutely no idea what has been going down in Southeast Asia.
Bobby and his advisers return to his Ewing Oil office after his first campaign speech...and they all wank him about the marvellous job he did, and that he should continue to tell voters what they want to hear. Pam tries to join the conversation with her thoughts on the matter, but can't get a word in edgewise and then is asked by Bobby to make everyone some coffee.
Sue Ellen returns to the house of mystery and is told by the maid to go away...but when she hears a familiar voice, she shoves her way inside and is stunned at the sight of Dusty Farlow in a wheelchair.
After the commercial break, Sue Ellen cries, "You're alive!" and smothers Dusty with hugs and kisses. He explains that when his plane crashed, his ranch hand was trapped aboard and died when it exploded - while he, on the other hand, was thrown clear. He was then able to crawl to a nearby ranch house and call his father for help. Sue Ellen asks him why he never phoned her to let her know he didn't perish in the plane crash, and he says that since he no longer has the use of his legs, he didn't want to be a burden to her.
Mitch stops in at the condo to pick up a textbook and finds Dolores vacuuming the bedroom. He's all, "Wha-at is going on?", so Dolores explains that Lucy hired her as a maid to keep their apartment tidy. Mitch says that starting now they'll no longer be requiring her services, and Dolores just kind of shrugs and is like, "OK, then. I'll be on my way."
Jock is at the Cattlemen's Club with Ray and Punk, discussing Donna's and Miss Ellie's very vocal protesting of the Takapa development. Punk worries that their activism might stall the project and asks Jock to call off Miss Ellie, and Ray volunteers to persuade Donna to get the pesky womenfolk to ease up.
Bobby is meeting again with his campaign advisers when JR enters the office and congratulates him on his favorable poll numbers and smarmily compliments Pam for working alongside him as a devoted political wife. After he and the advisers leave, Bobby fixes drinks for himself and Pam and thanks her for pitching in and helping.
When Lucy returns home, Mitch asks whassup with her hiring a maid and not telling him, so she explains that she's too much of a lazy slob to keep the condo clean, so she figured 'why not just hire someone else to do it?' Mitch irritably points out that he hasn't been working nights so she could blow the extra money on a cleaning service, and she sheepishly promises to avoid any similar such expenses in the future. Mitch looks satisfied enough with that and gives her a happy smooch.
Leslie calls JR and says she needs to speak to him in private at her apartment this evening, and he gleefully assumes that this means she's ready to hit the sheets with him and cancels a romp he had just scheduled with Marilee Stone.
Dusty confesses to Sue Ellen that he put up the bail money after she was arrested for trying to kill JR in the Who Done It episode, then had her followed by Mr. Appleton to make sure she was OK. Sue Ellen insists that she loooooves him and doesn't care about his paralysis - just as the maid informs Dusty that it's time for him to take his medication and rest. Sue Ellen agrees to leave, but promises to return tomorrow.
JR arrives at Leslie's apartment with two champagne bottles - but she tells him she's not in the mood to celebrate, then explains that whatever effort she's put into rehabilitating his image pales in comparison to whatever he did to mend fences with the cartel. She says that while she was doing piddly things like putting ads in newspapers and setting up interviews, he was using some secret backchannels to overthrow a foreign government. JR denies that he had anything to do with the bloodless coup, and Leslie's like 'whatever you say, JR' and says that since he clearly doesn't need her services anymore she wants him to void her contract. JR argues that he likes the work she's been doing for him, so she says that if he wants her to stay on she needs to know exactly what he's up to at all times, including the de-nationalizing of his Southeast Asian oil wells. JR says he never shares all of his secrets with one person, and that if she expects to gain his full trust they're going to need to get a whole lot closer. He says, "The ball's in your court", which Leslie calls "quite an offer" and says she needs to think it over...and after JR leaves her apartment, she opens a box containing a tape player that's been recording their conversation and hits the stop button.
Ray and Donna return to his house after a night out...and after some pleasant chit-chat, Ray comes right out and tells her the real reason he asked her out: to get her and Miss Ellie to back off of their protesting the Takapa development. Donna's all, "Why the hell do you care if we protest a swampland development?", so he reveals that Jock is one of the investors, and that Miss Ellie's anti-development activism is putting a major strain on the old goat. Donna irritably says that Jock should have the balls to break the news to his wife, insists that the development is a terrible idea, and refuses to stop protesting. Ray argues that the project has great potential and that he has a deep respect for Jock's judgement. Donna accuses him of being like the rest of the greedy Ewings and starts to storm out - but Ray pulls her towards him, snarls, "I'm not through with you yet!" and forcibly smooches her...and after a couple of seconds she looks totes into the yokel's icky rough play and starts smooching him back.
After breakfast the next morning, Lucy tells Pam she heard that Alex Ward was starting up a new magazine and asks if she could pull some strings to get him to hire her as a model. Pam somehow refrains from pointing out that fashion models are generally required to be at least five feet tall and promises to look into it.
Ray and Donna - blech - wake up in bed together. Ray regrets their breakup and wasting so much time not being coupled with her, and Donna says he can easily change that if he wants to. He perks up at that and says he definitely wants to...then asks if she'd be interested in marrying him, and she's like 'yeah, sure, why the hell not?'
Sue Ellen returns to the Farlow house and is ushered inside by Dusty's father, Clayton. He comes right out and says he's less than thrilled about her being back in his son's life 'cause he's worried it'll put pressure and stress on him. When Sue Ellen just stares back at him quizzically, he reveals that the paralysis-type injuries Dusty sustained include a penis that's no longer in proper working order...and she stares back at him in shocked bewilderment.
Ray tells Jock that Donna prolly won't be easing off of her Takapa protesting anytime soon, but that he no longer gives a shit about the swampland conundrum 'cause she agreed to marry him. Jock exclaims, "That's great news!" and urges him to go out and buy his lady somethin' nice.
Alex Ward drops by Pam's office and says he was surprised and delighted to get her call. Pam explains that she summoned him 'cause she needs a favor, namely would he consider auditioning Lucy as a model for his new magazine? Alex says he'd be thrilled to do her any kind of favor and that if she actually believes Lucy is anything close to resembling model material, he'd be more than happy to just offer her the job.
Cliff is telling someone on the phone to look into JR's relationship with Hank Johnson 'cause he's suspicious the two cooked something up that may have resulted in the recent overthrowing of the fictional Southeast Asian communist government that had nationalized Ewing Oil's oil leases. After he hangs up, he mutters, "Nobody is that lucky, JR. Not even you."
Dusty returns home from his latest doctor's appointment and sadly shakes his head at his father, which I translated to mean 'nope, still no movement below the equator'. Sue Ellen asks Clayton to step out of the room so she can have time alone with Dusty, then tells him she doesn't care about the no sex thing 'cause she loooooves him and wants to share her life with him. Dusty firmly tells her that since he's now a man in a wheelchair who can't have sex or father any children, he is flatly refusing to allow her to tie herself down to him. Sue Ellen insists that he's what she wants, then accepts an invitation from Clayton to stay for dinner.
The Ewings congratulate Ray and Donna on their upcoming nuptials...and when Jock makes a toast, he announces that today he expanded his sons' trust fund to include Ray, who's suddenly a millionaire in his own right. Most of the Ewings express happiness or indifference at this latest development - except for Miss Ellie and JR, who both scrunch their faces into alarmed, WTF? expressions.
After dinner, Dusty tells Sue Ellen not to come back to his house again, then explains that he wouldn't be able to bear the look in her eyes when it fully dawns on her that he's not the fully functioning man he was when they first fell in love. He says that if she really loves him she won't put him through that...and a sobbing Sue Ellen insists she really really does love him, but then kisses him and whimpers, "Goodbye my darling."
Recap: Claude Brown drops by Ewing Oil to pay an in-person visit to JR, who's all, "Ack! What the hell are you doing here?!" Claude says he doesn't trust phones and wanted to report in person that the money he got from JR's Swiss bank account was "distributed properly", meaning that JR can expect to see favorable results from Operation Overthrow a Fictional Southeast Asian Communist Government very soon. He once again reminds JR that the shit could hit the fan if he's caught financing a foreign country's revolution, and warns that he (Claude) will immediately become invisible if the feds ever catch wind of what they've done - but JR just shrugs unconcernedly and says, in that case, the reward will be his alone. Claude exits Ewing Oil just as Leslie Stewart arrives to inform JR that she scheduled an interview with him and a New York columnist...and JR's like, "Yeah whatever" and flirtily invites her to join him for dinner tonight. She declines and says she has a late meeting with someone named McAlister...and when he stares back at her poutishly, she reminds him that she does have clients other than him. She then suggests they go over his interview questions, and while she's reading them aloud he gets all touchy-feely with her hands while gazing at her lustfully.
Clint calls Sue Ellen to invite her to dine with him tonight, then says it'll be the last time they'll see each other for awhile 'cause he's jetting off to Japan in the morning. Sue Ellen says she'd loooove to have dinner with him, and the two agree to meet at Petrino's at 8pm.
JR is in a meeting with Phil McKenna, who's on the nominating committee for the state senate to decide who should replace Dave Culver. JR makes it clear that he does not want Cliff Barnes to be considered for the seat...and Phil says that while he's [a spineless lapdog who's] more than happy to do his bidding, he only represents one vote. JR says he's going to have to "push harder" to make certain that Cliff isn't considered by the committee, then barks, "Do you understand?" and Phil hastily assures him he does.
Bobby returns home from work just as Sue Ellen is heading off to her dinner with Cliff. She remarks on Pam's absence during the last episode and a half and implies that her "business trip" is a front for some extramarital hanky-panky.
Jock is pouring himself a drink when Bobby enters the sitting room and gabbles about how excited he is about his new solar energy project and how much he's loving building something from the ground up. As Jock grunts disinterestedly, Miss Ellie pokes her head into the room to inform them that she's going out for dinner...and Jock growls about how the Ewings never sit down together for dinner anymore. Bobby breezily says it doesn't bother him 'cause it'll give him more of an opportunity to natter at him about solar energy...and Jock's like, "Oh joy" as the two amble over to the dining room.
Pam is having a cozy dinner with Alex Ward, who wistfully says how sorry he is that her business trip is almost over. Pam agrees that it's been nice, but says she's also anxious to get home to Bobby despite the fact that he's been so wrapped up with his solar energy project. Alex asks her why she's not more bitter about being neglected by her husband...and when she says she knows he doesn't mean to neglect her, Alex clucks disapprovingly and calls Bobby a fool for taking his smokin' hot wife for granted.
JR drops by Leslie's apartment with a basket of wine and cheekily says word has it that her late meeting with McAlister got cancelled, and that he'd really like it if she got rid of her other clients so she could devote herself entirely to him. Leslie says she can't/won't do that, not least 'cause he's a married man...and JR dismissively retorts that that "detail" has never been a barrier to his slutty penchant for hitting the sheets with any remotely attractive woman who happens to stumble into his orbit. Leslie rolls her eyes and tells him that when McAlister cancelled on her she promptly scheduled another meeting, and JR's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" and scrunches his face unhappily.
Sue Ellen arrives at Petrino's and notices a car pulling into the parking lot a few seconds later. When she stares over at the man who was behind the wheel, he casually mills around the parking lot as if he hasn't been tailing her all day.
Over dinner, Sue Ellen tells Clint she has a strong feeling she's being followed and asks if his wife might be behind it. Clint says he's pretty sure his wife has no idea that he's been stepping out on her, and Sue Ellen mulls that over and says she's determined to get to the bottom of this boring-as-fuck mystery.
Mitch arrives home and finds Lucy in happy homemaker mode, decked out in an apron as she cooks up some beef stroganoff for a last minute dinner party she's throwing for his mother and sister. Mitch says he can't stay 'cause he's scheduled to work at the lab this evening, but tells her it'll give her an opportunity to get better acquainted with his family. Lucy breezily assures him she's A-OK with that and gives him a happy smooch.
As the dinner party wraps up, Arliss and Afton tell Lucy they're extremely grateful to JR for getting Afton a singing gig [in Dallas's low rent district], then wax on about how awesome and hardworking Mitch is. Lucy tells Afton that while Mitch is very proud of her fledgling singing career, he'd be crushed if he were to hear any nasty rumors about her [jumping into the sack with married men like JR] ... and Afton's all, "This has been fun, but I gotta go now" and shoots Lucy the stink-eye before beating a hasty retreat.
Pam returns to her hotel room and finds a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of champagne, and a note from Alex reminding her that if she's up for an extramarital romp, she need only open the connecting door separating their suites and jump his bones. Pam wanders over to the connecting door, stares at it for a few seconds, and firmly locks it.
Miss Ellie returns home and finds Jock asleep on a sofa chair in their bedroom. She stares at him contemplatively for a few seconds before covering him with a blanket and taking off his glasses.
Sue Ellen asks JR if he's having her followed, and he's like, "As fucking if" and dismissively tells her she really should discuss her paranoias with her psychiatrist. Sue Ellen insists that a man has been following her around for the last few days, and JR lets out a long sigh and says he wouldn't bother going to the trouble of having her followed 'cause there isn't a rat's ass small enough for him to give about where she goes and who she sees...and clearly isn't remotely concerned about his wife's general safety if, in fact, a strange man has been stalking her.
The next morning, Mitch starts cleaning up the dishes after the dinner party - but Lucy stops him and says that his only job is to attend class and study hard. Mitch perks up at that and heads out...and a few seconds later the cleaning woman that Lucy hired arrives and gets admonished for showing up too early and nearly running into Mitch. Lucy then motions at the unwashed dishes on the dining table, half-heartedly apologizes for the gross mess she lazily let sit overnight, and announces that she's going back to bed.
Sue Ellen tells Dr. Ellby she's pretty sure that someone is following her, but he looks doubtful and says she can't come up with a single reason why anyone would want to do that. Sue Ellen gets irked at his skepticism and says that her instincts have been right on many past occasions - but Dr. Ellby says she probably only has a feeling about being followed, and that if she really believes it's happening she should report it to the police. Sue Ellen insists it's really happening and snappishly says she's not going to put up with it any longer.
Pam runs into Alex in the lobby of their hotel as he's checking out...and when she asks him why he's leaving earlier than expected, he tells her that since it's clear she has no intention of ever hitting the sheets with him, there's no reason for him to keep barking up that tree. Pam apologizes for rebuffing his advances and explains that she's not quite ready to blow up her marriage, and Alex tells her to give him a call if she ever decides to leave Bobby.
Sue Ellen meets with her trusted lawyer Kyle Bennett to report her suspicions about being followed, and he promises to look into it with the help of his friends on the police force.
Over at Ewing Oil, Donna has convened a meeting of The Committee to Decide Who to Support for State Senator and informs Bobby that he's their number one pick. A stunned Bobby says that while he's flattered, he's really not politician material, so Donna points out that his record as a regular citizen (?) speaks for itself in that many people share his beliefs when it comes to equality and his general interest in the public good. Sounds like a fairly vague set of credentials, but OK. She tells him she's offering him the opportunity to "stand and be counted", and the men of the committee second that and strongly urge him to accept. Bobby stares blankly into space as he mulls over the proposition, then decides 'ah, what the hell?' Donna squeals happily and hugs him before wrapping up the meeting - just JR enters the office to see whassup, and then looks amused by Bobby's latest venture. He advises Bobby to discuss his senate plans with Pam, who, it's been rumored, has been spending a lot of alone time with Alex Ward during her business trip.
An enraged Cliff slaps down the newspaper featuring Bobby's photo and blurb about him running for the state senate and admonishes Donna for not suggesting him. He rails about how he earned that seat and expresses his anger at her and the committee for offering it to a Ewing by snarling, "That really rips it!" Donna explains that Bobby was the committee's unanimous choice, then asks him if he's through railing at her...and when he says he's definitely through, she shakes her head dismayingly at the predictableness of his reaction.
That evening at Southfork, Bobby tells Pam about possibly becoming a state senator, and she makes it clear how miffed she is that he'd make such an important life decision without first consulting her. He makes it clear that he's miffed about her hooking up with Alex Ward during her business trip, and she denies sleeping with him despite seriously considering it (!). When he pales and is all, "Wha-a-a-a?", she says that lately it's been very lonely being married to a man who barely pays any attention to her - but assures him she loves only him and won't see Alex again.
JR drops by Chez Sleaze to ogle Afton as she sings to a sparse audience. When she finishes her set, she scampers over to him to blushingly say hello, and he says he'd looooove to hear her sing that song again - preferably while they're both naked - and she says she's definitely up for a romp and exits the bar with him.
At breakfast the next morning, JR toasts Bobby's state senate run...and Jock reacts by growling about Bobby's lack of focus as is evidenced by his various competing interests. Miss Ellie announces that she's off to meet with her high society lady friends to discuss how to stop the Takapa swampland development...and once she's out of earshot, Bobby tells Jock he really should tell his wife that he's one of the developers. Jock snappishly tells Bobby to mind his own business before rushing off somewhere with Ray, and JR warns Bobby to never cross daddy when it comes to secret swampland developments.
Sue Ellen is strolling downtown when two police officers grab a man who's clearly following her. Kyle Bennett appears from out of nowhere and demands his name, so the man identifies himself as a PI named Appleton and readily agrees to spill the beans in exchange for not being charged with harassment.
Hank Johnson calls JR to inform him that there'll be some good news coming from overseas within the next twenty-four hours, and JR happily tells him to keep him informed. A few seconds later, Leslie arrives to chide JR for being seen hanging in a sleazy bar for the purpose of hooking up with a second rate salon singer (hee!) and advises him to not continue carrying on with Afton, at least publicly. JR chuckles and says he wouldn't need to tap that if she (Leslie) would simply agree to hop into bed with him.
Appleton admits to Kyle that he was hired to follow Sue Ellen - but has no idea who's behind the effort. He explains that he sends daily logs of Sue Ellen's activities to a post office box in Denton, and in turn receives a money order every Friday. Kyle mulls that over for a few seconds and says he's going to send someone to watch the post office - but Sue Ellen nixes that idea and says she wants to follow through with this herself, regardless of the potential danger.
Sue Ellen is milling around the Denton Post Office when she spots a man wearing a horrible blonde wig enter, empty the PO box that Appleton's been sending his reports to, then head back out to his car. Sue Ellen follows him in her car and witnesses Wig Man drive to an estate and hand the log reports to a shadowy person sitting in the back of a limo...and after the limo drives off, a mystified looking Sue Ellen climbs out of her car, stares across the street looking aghast, and exclaims, "Oh dear God! It can't be!"
Recap: Hank Johnson calls Ewing Oil to inform JR that the government of whatever fictional Southeast Asian country controls his oil leases is more destabilized than ever, and that there are a few higher up revolutionaries they can probably work with to get the ruling communists out. JR perks up at that development and says it sounds promising...and when Hank says he'll do his best to avoid causing any unnecessary bloodshed, JR replies, "Yeah, whatever. Just give me a call when you're ready to move."
Leslie Stewart arrives at Ewing Oil to show JR her latest ad work on Operation Boost JR's Image. She hands him a strategic plan she cobbled together titled 'Ewing Oil: People Before Profits', and he laughs heartily and says he doubts anyone involved in the Texas oil industry would buy that bullcack. Leslie shrugs unconcernedly and says she's planning to run her ads not in local papers, but in the more swanky national papers and promises that one day soon Ewing Oil will be viewed as an international powerhouse. JR looks intrigued by the prospect and invites her to lunch (aka some much needed sexy time), but Leslie says she's going to be too busy finalizing the ads over at the ad agency. A dejected JR asks if he'll see her later, and she smiles and politely replies, "Of course."
Bobby is meeting with Jim Lassiter prior to their quick flight to Oklahoma City to wrap up the necessary paperwork for the sale of Lassiter's solar company. Bobby excitedly chirps, "We have a deal!", then calls Pam - who's sporting a fuzzy new Donna Summer 'do - to tell her he'll be out of town for the day. He promises to be back in plenty of time to escort her to Liz Craig's dinner party this evening...which I can only assume means that no way in hell will he be back in time to escort her to Liz Craig's dinner party this evening.
Sue Ellen and Clint are wandering down memory late, aka their old Dallas stomping grounds, reminiscing about their first date. After the two smooch, he gazes at her lovingly and coos about how it feels as though all the years between college and now haven't passed. The two agree to meet up for dinner tomorrow night...and Sue Ellen happens to glance behind her and notices that, several feet away, a strange man is not-so-subtly spying on them.
Richard Leecock, a top architect in Dallas, is pitching ideas to Jock, Ray, Punk Anderson, et. al. about the prospective Takapa (Texas/Louisiana) swampland development. Once he's finished his presentation, exits the office, and is out of earshot, Punk says that Richard is the best architect around and that he'd prefer to cut the bidding process short and just hire him. Jock mulls that over and asks Ray what he thinks...and when Ray says they should probably consider other bids, Jock gruffly concurs. Punk scrunches his face in annoyance, but agrees to endure a more drawn out bidding process.
At Southfork, Miss Ellie and Donna are hosting another Stop Development of the Takapa Swampland meeting with their high society lady friends. They tell the ladies they're still trying to figure out who's behind the development [hmm...I wonder], then hand out pledge cards so they can continue donating money to the cause. Donna tells Miss Ellie that Cliff has been eyeing Dave Culver's soon-to-be-vacated State Senate seat, but that she isn't sure she wants someone in the State Senate who isn't totally onboard with their current Save Takapa campaign.
Sue Ellen giddily tells Dr. Ellby that her new boyfriend Clint is sooooo attentive, and gushes about how alive, young, and pretty he makes her feel. Dr. Ellby agrees that, yep, she seems happy all right - but warns that, given what a vapid simpleton she is, she tends to see things as she wants them to be, not as they are...and that it's pretty clear that she and Clint want different things out of this ill-fated extramarital hookup.
Donna drops by Dave's office to ask him if he's decided whether or not to take the Senate seat he was offered, and he happily tells her he's going to go for it. Donna asks him what he thinks about Cliff taking over as his successor in the State Senate, and he replies that while Cliff is bright, ambitious, hard working, and knowledgeable, he's worried he's the type who'd be willing to sell himself to the highest bidder.
Bobby calls Pam at The Store to tell her he's going to be a no-show for Liz's dinner party 'cause he's stuck in Oklahoma City for the next several days, sorting out all the paperwork associated with the Lassiter deal. Pam makes it clear how miffed she is that she has to attend Liz's party solo, and slams the phone down before storming out of her office.
Leslie drops by JR's office to inform him that she's lined up several high profile interviews for him...and he nods approvingly and invites her out for a celebratory dinner, but she declines and explains that she'll be too busy meeting with a NY Times writer. JR's all, "I'm sooooooo frustrated that you continually refuse to shit where you eat!" and says he doesn't much care for her preoccupation with business [despite having hired her as his chief PR consultant] and would rather she spend the evening in bed with him. Leslie chuckles in response and suggests he think of her as a man...or at the very least a professional who may not be in the habit of jumping into bed with her horniest clients. After she heads out, Louella pops by the office to tell JR that her husband is on the road yet again and hints that she wouldn't mind some company for dinner, and he mulls that over and decides that since a romp with Louella is pretty much a sure thing 'why the hell not?'
Over at Southfork, a sullen looking Miss Ellie ambles into the sitting room, where Jock is pouring himself his nightly drink. When he asks her what's wrong, she accuses him of not giving a crap about his sons...aside from Ray, his illegitimate yokel spawn. Jock denies that - just as Sue Ellen interrupts to tell Miss Ellie that Baby John is asking to be tucked into bed by his grandma.
Post-doink, JR is sitting on the end of Louella's bed, getting dressed while rolling his eyes as she prattles nonsense. Louella eventually notices his glumness and asks whassup, and he brusquely says he doesn't want to talk about it. She advises him not to let Leslie's rejection get to him, 'cause [well, Leslie excepted] he can have any woman he wants...and JR chews on that for a few seconds before beating a hasty retreat.
Dinner party! Pam is chatting it up with Liz Craig, who asks her if she wouldn't mind supervising an out-of-town photo shoot tomorrow. Pam chirps, "Yes please!" - just as Alex Ward arrives at the party and wanders over to flirtily say hello...and Liz takes the hint and saunters off to mingle and give the two a moment alone.
Sue Ellen is primping at her night table, decked out in a furry negligee, when JR returns home. She comes right out and tells him she went out for the evening and adds that she knows he no longer cares what she does and with whom she does it...and he gives up on pretending to have any interest in their soulless shell of a marriage and is all, "Nope, I really don't." She remarks on how interesting she finds it that he hired an attractive female PR consultant and asks if he's slept with her yet, and JR irritably says he hired Leslie 'cause she's an expert in her field, aka not the usual type of cupcake he likes to surround himself with. Sue Ellen correctly assumes that if he hasn't yet hit the sheets with Leslie it's 'cause she's not into him, then jokes about how he must be losing his touch...and JR shoots her a hateful glare before storming out of the room.
Pam arrives at her hotel room and finds it filled with a ridiculous amount of flowers. She quickly realizes they're from Alex, who has posted a handwritten 'Hello, pretty lady' sign on the adjoining door...and when she opens the door, she finds a grinning Alex standing before her.
JR glances at the various Ewing Oil ads that Leslie has placed in all of the major newspapers and says that while he's impressed, his myopic daddy will only be truly satisfied if he can do business with the local cartel. He wants to find a way to get back into their good graces...and to that end figures he needs to regain control of the oil leases in whatever fictional Southeast Asian country nationalized them during the recent coup. Leslie warns him to not do anything resembling overthrowing a foreign government, and JR pretends he zero interest in doing something so heinous and says he merely wants to do whatever is necessary to regain his status as Dallas' top oil man. After he exits the office, Leslie opens her drawer and shuts off the recording device she was running during the conversation, then stares contemplatively into space.
JR calls his banker in Zurich to inform him that he needs to make a sizeable withdrawal from his secret account asap.
Pam and Alex are out on the town, dancing together...and Alex gazes into her eyes and schmaltzily coos about how much he loooooves to admire her beauty.
Sue Ellen and Clint wander out of a movie theater together, and Sue Ellen gushes about how much she loooooved the romantic film they just saw. She tells Clint that while she wishes they were doing more than sneaking around, she's not completely ready to give up the Ewing gravy train that is her dysfunctional marriage to JR. She then notices the same man from before spying on them a few feet away - but he disappears by the time Clint turns around to get a look at the man for himself. Clint tells Sue Ellen he's perfectly willing to dump his wife so that they can be together, but Sue Ellen says that for now she's happy enough enjoying their sneaking around time...and the two smooch and make plans to meet up again tomorrow.
Pam is overseeing the photo shoot when Alex wanders by and tells her she's so much hotter than all the models. The two then make plans to meet up later, and Pam smilingly gets back to work.
Leslie arrives at Ewing Oil - just as JR is wrapping up a meeting with a stockbroker, who's trying to convince him to take the company public. Once the stockbroker is out of earshot, Leslie points out to JR that going public means he'll be beholden to stockholders and won't have the freedom to do all of the nefarious, underhanded things he regularly takes glee in doing. JR mulls that over and gushingly compliments her savvy smarts, and says she's so darn capable she could one day run the world.
Pam and Alex return to the hotel, giggling while guzzling champagne. Alex gazes lovingly at her and gives her an intense smooch - a few seconds before Bobby calls to inform Pam that he'll be back in Dallas tomorrow and that he misses her. A deflated Alex dejectedly shuffles to his adjoining suite as Pam and Bobby exchange over-the-phone I love yous.
JR gets a call from Hank Johnson, who reports that they've "hit pay dirt", and that "people are primed" to retake control of the embattled fictional Southeast Asian country that controls his oil leases. He warns JR that the re-coup attempt is going to cost plenty of money, then gives him a heads up that someone named Claude Brown will be calling him to set the plan in motion.
Alex drops by Pam's photo shoot to invite her to breakfast, and she eagerly accepts and says she's relieved that he's not miffed about Bobby's phone call cutting short last night's hanky panky.
During a meeting with Donna and a group of political cronies, Dave Culver announces that he thinks Donna is the best person to take over his state senate seat - but Donna's all, "Wuh?", makes a blech face, and says she's not remotely interested in public office. LOL. The cronies look disappointed by her reaction and agree to meet tomorrow to haggle about who their second choice should be.
Lucy has ditched class to treat Mitch to a romantic picnic - that she proudly specifies was prepared by caterers - in the park. Mitch chides her for blowing off school and says it's important for her to pursue her own goals and dreams, but she poutishly points out that she's being a good wife, then gigglingly hands him two large gifts: a pair of cowboy boots and a microscope. A dismayed Mitch is all, "Holy shit! These things are sooooo expensive!", and Lucy cackles, "So what?" and leans in for giddy smooch.
JR meets up with Claude Brown in an out-of-the-way watering hole to discuss Operation Overthrow a Fictional Southeast Asian Communist Government. Claude tells JR he'll do his best to help the revolutionaries seize power, but cautions that it could get messy...and that it's a serious crime in the U.S. to overthrow a foreign government. JR snappishly says he doesn't need a lecture - but Claude warns that if word got out, the consequences could be prison and a destroyed Ewing empire. He tells JR there's still time to change his mind about unleashing such a dangerous plan, but an unfazed JR's like, "Nope, I'm A-OK with all the risks" and downs his drink while staring defiantly into space.