Recap: While heading to the breakfast table, Pam assures Lucy she's not going to have to worry about Roger obsessing about her anymore, 'cause she's pretty sure the freak got the message to back off. Lucy thanks her and says he was really starting to scare her...and that if Blair forces her to continue working with him, it's goodbye modelling. Bobby, meanwhile, announces that he has to rush off to the office now, then happens to answer the phone when it rings and is annoyed when it's Jeff Farraday. He chides him for calling him at Southfork, and Jeff is like, "Whatever. Be grateful that you answered" and says he wants to get together this evening at the same bar as in the the previous episode...and when Bobby asks what would happen if he doesn't show, Jeff snidely says he'll be forced to find someone who's willing to talk to him.
Over at Ewing Oil, Murphy shows JR the forged reports claiming that the oil-free plot of land in Lubbock is guaranteed to be filled with oceans of oil. JR thanks him for committing fraud on his behalf and hands him the deed to his house, paid in full...and Murphy promises to make himself scarce for the foreseeable future. After Murphy exits the office, JR calls Marilee Stone to tell her they're ready to roll with Operation Screw Up Cliff's Life, and Marilee says she's on board - but reminds him that he's going to owe her big...and by owe her big she means she's going to demand unlimited sack time.
Back at the ranch, Rebecca is gushing to Miss Ellie about how friggin' adorable Christopher is, and Miss Ellie concurs and says he's brought a lot of joy to the house. Rebecca changes the subject to the renewed conflict between Cliff and JR and tells her that JR arranged for his friend Wally Hampton to offer Cliff a big salaried job, which was a trap intended to humiliate him. Miss Ellie scrunches her face confusedly and asks why JR would do such a thing...and asks this as if JR hasn't repeatedly exhibited a vindictive side to his personality since probably childhood. Rebecca explains that the source of the problem is that Cliff has been dating Sue Ellen...and Miss Ellie scrunches her face worriedly and accurately predicts that the situation is going to get far worse, citing the great lengths JR went to in order to get Sue Ellen removed from the Southern Cross ranch. She adds, "JR doesn't want any man between himself and his son."
Donna is on the phone with Dave Culver, who's planning to fly to Dallas a bit later in the episode. After the call, she re-listens to the section of her research tape that implicates Jock for wrongfully and dickishly having Jonas committed to a mental hospital...and when Ray arrives home and asks her why she looks so troubled, she answers by asking him what Jock was like when he stumbled onto Southfork fifteen years ago. Ray tells her that while Jock wasn't prefect, he was the best, most awesome man he ever knew...and Donna somehow refrains from retorting, "Um - seriously?"
Afton arrives at the Cattlemen's Club [where the waitresses seem to be decked out in skimpier skimpy-wear than usual] and seats herself with JR. She urges him to refrain from destroying Cliff, not least 'cause she's pretty sure that Sue Ellen is going to dump him soon enough, and then implores, "I want him back in one piece, JR. With all of his assets intact." She then warns JR that there's another, far more substantive man who looks as though he's about to take Cliff's place in Sue Ellen's boudoir - meaning Clayton Farlow - and JR stares back at her in stunned bewilderment.
Miss Ellie drops in on Sue Ellen to warn her that the revenge sex she's having with Cliff is causing too many problems for too many people. Sue Ellen haughtily tells her that her choice of bed partners is really none of her business, and Miss Ellie responds by pointing out that the love triangle between her, Cliff, and JR nearly destroyed them once...and when she asks if she's strong enough to withstand it a second time, Sue Ellen nervously mutters, "Dunno."
Lucy tells Blair that there's something not quite right with the way Roger's brain is wired and that she really really wants to work with a different photographer...so much so that she's willing to quit modelling altogether if he doesn't grant her request. Blair mulls that over, decides that Lucy's become a hot enough commodity in the Dallas modelling world to not need Roger anymore, and assures her he'll personally break the news to the possessive misfit.
Bobby makes it clear to Jeff Farraday that he's not going to be giving him another blackmail payment to keep quiet about Christopher and threatens to involve the authorities. Jeff points out that he too broke the law when he paid money for the tot and began the adoption process. He then threatens to blow the whistle on him, and storms out of the bar.
Bobby returns home and finds Pam in the nursery, putting Christopher to bed. She excitedly tells him that the Department of Human Resources called and is sending someone to inspect Southfork to determine whether or not it's a wholesome enough environment for a child. When Bobby's like, "Yeah, and..?", Pam points out that she's certain the visit will go well, easily clearing the final hurdle in the adoption process.
Marilee Stone drops by Cliff's office, delivering an Oscar worthy performance as a scorned woman who's deeply upset with JR for not keeping his promise to marry her. She claims that the cad tricked her into the sack just so she'd help him get back into the cartel's good graces, and is miffed that he's still so clearly obsessed with Sue Ellen. She tells Cliff she wants to hurt JR where it matters, specifically by joining forces with him (Cliff) to buy an oil-rich piece of property near Lubbock for $6.5 million. She shows him Murphy's falsified geology report that guarantees the oil rich status of the land, and an intrigued Cliff promises to look it over and get back to her asap.
At Southfork, Mrs. Gilman, an inspector from the Department of Human Resources, is meeting with Pam, Bobby, and Miss Ellie as she assesses the suitability of the sprawling ranch as Christopher's new home. She assures the Ewings that 1) the ranch is a lovely home for the tot, 2) they're clearly meant to be a family, given how "very right for each other" they are, and 3) she'll do her best to fast track the process to under six months.
Sly tells JR that she managed to locate the Dallas hotel in which Clayton is staying, and JR tells her to get him on the phone pronto.
Over in the old Culver house attic (ugh), Dave is reading his father's diary from the 1930s, from which he learns that Jonas had, at one point, appointed Sam his sole heir. Donna tells Dave that she doesn't want to do anything to sully her late husband's reputation, and Dave tells her he couldn't give the tiniest rat's ass about what happened fifty years ago, and that she should go ahead include this "scandal" in her book if she really wants to. Donna tells him there's a stickier matter at hand: the incident involved Jock Ewing, and she has yet to tell Miss Ellie about it and/or make up her mind if she's going to simply forge ahead and reveal the Ewing's dirty, dull-as-fuck linen to the entire world.
Cliff consults with his oil field consultant, Mr. Fragner, about the geology reports he received from Marilee Stone, and Mr. Fragner tells him that, based on the fraudulent info that Murphy cobbled together, the land is "a helluva find" and gives him the green light to make the purchase. Cliff then summons his weird accountant, Mr. Forest, to request a check for $4 million...and an aghast Mr. Forest tells Cliff that requesting multi-million dollar checks is not how Wentworth Tool & Die works. Cliff reminds him that his mommy gave him full authority to run the company as he sees fit, and orders him to get him the check by the end of the day. He then dismisses Mr. Forest and calls Marilee to tell her he's on track to meet with her at the bank tomorrow morning.
JR summons Clayton to the Cattlemen's Club to tell him he had an interesting chat with Afton, who senses his deep feelings for Sue Ellen. JR says it's become clear that when Sue Ellen was staying at the Southern Cross ranch, he was weirdly protective of her, though not necessarily in the interest of Dusty. Clayton gets up from his chair and calls JR "a contemptible man" ... and an unfazed JR tries to get him to admit that he, and not Dusty, was the Farlow man who most wanted Sue Ellen as his lover. Mmm hmm..
At the bank, Cliff tells Marilee that he wants to assume a larger portion of the risk of their venture and hands the banker the $4 million check that Mr. Forest issued, along with $500,000 from his personal account. A surprised Marilee's like, "Are you sure?" and says that a 50/50 split is fine with her - and Cliff assures her it's fine, tells the banker he wants the venture named Barnes-Stonehurst Oil, then invites Marilee to join him for a celebratory lunch.
Bobby is startled to find Jeff Farraday lurking in the hallway near the entrance of the Ewing Oil offices. He tells Bobby they need to talk (yet again) tonight at the same bar as the previous two meetings...and it remains unclear why in blazes Jeff can't just fully spit out whatever it is that he needs to tell Bobby during one meeting.
Roger is photographing a lanky model named Vanessa when Blair enters the studio to tell him they need to talk about Lucy. He comes right out and tells Roger that Lucy has zero desire to work with him anymore, and an incensed Roger yells, "I discovered her! I made her!", insists that they're a team, and decrees that no one else should ever be granted permission to photograph his most precious angel. When Blair tries to get the crackpot to calm the fuck down, he reacts by screeching, "Me, Blair! Just me!" ... and Blair reminds him that he's been warned before about his weird possessiveness towards the models. He tells Roger he has a new, non-Lucy-related campaign he wants him to shoot, and Roger craftily pretends to calm down and tells Blair he's totes on board with that.
While out for lunch, Miss Ellie asks JR whaddup with him and Sue Ellen, and JR says that things between them had been going so well that he was sure a reconciliation was on the horizon. He laments that, out of nowhere, "the wind shifted" when someone told her something that suddenly turned her against him. Miss Ellie asks him if he suspects Cliff...and, if so, is it the reason he tried to set him up with the fake Wally Hampton job? She chides him for continuing to perpetuate the tediousness that is the Barnes-Ewing feud, and JR apologizes to her for his trickery - but, in his defence, the thought of Cliff hooking up with Sue Ellen ... "it just flat drives me crazy".
Over at Casa Yokel, Donna tells Ray that she learned something extremely unflattering about Jock and can't decide whether or not she should publish it in her new book 'cause of how Miss Ellie might react. Ray urges her to talk to Miss Ellie about it and says that, as a general principle, it's always best to get everything out in the open.
Over dinner at Casa Sue Ellen, Cliff tells Sue Ellen he wants to have a serious talk about not letting her get away a second time, then proposes marriage...before hastily adding that he's on the verge of a huge deal that'll make it possible for him to support her in the life to which she's become accustomed. Sue Ellen tells him she needs time to think it over, and Cliff tells her to take all the time she needs, kisses her hand, and heads out. Sue Ellen stares contemplatively into space, then wanders over to the phone to call Clayton...and after letting the phone ring several times, Clayton answers and fibs that he can't talk right now 'cause he's in an important meeting with some suppliers. He breezily says they'll talk another time, then abruptly hangs up. Ouch.
That evening at the bar, Jeff tells Bobby he wants a final payment of $50,000 before he skedaddles to Brazil, adding that he's gotten himself into some trouble and needs to hightail it out of the U.S., like yesterday. Jeff says he'd be willing to [needlessly] provide proof of this trouble and suggests they meet at his place, then warns Bobby not to blow it 'cause it's his last chance.
Later at Southfork, Bobby stares down at little Christopher, who's mewling in his crib, and tells the tot he's worth all the stress and trouble he's caused, promising he'll do whatever it takes to keep him at Southfork.
The next morning, Mitch calls Lucy and invites her to have lunch with him at the condo, and she excitedly says she'll be there, then tells Miss Ellie and Pam about the date, saucily adding, "If I have my way, I won't be home tonight...or for several nights." Miss Ellie serenely says she's happy they've decided to work things out, and Pam agrees to help her pick out something nice to wear.
Marilee drops in on JR at Ewing Oil to report that Cliff took it upon himself to shell out $4.5 million for the doomed-to-fail Lubbock venture, and JR cackles heartily [making me heartily cackle along with him] as he imagines Cliff's devastation when it finally dawns on him that the land he purchased for the purpose of drilling oil somehow doesn't have a single drop of oil. Marilee tells JR she wants to celebrate the success of Operation Screw Up Cliff's Life....and by celebrate she means she wants to get it on right here and now...or later at her house. JR stares back at her in wonderment and calls her insatiable, and she grins while unashamedly replying, "Crooked deals turn me on like crazy."
Over at the condo, Lucy apologizes to Mitch for trying to make him jealous by hugging Roger during the outdoor photo shoot, then says she's decided that she'd really really like to make their marriage work. Mitch is like, "Uh, I don't want that" and says he'd like to file for divorce asap 'cause he wants to have an honest relationship with his new squeeze, Evelyn Michaelson. Lucy's all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" as she stares at him in tearful bewilderment, then burst out of the condo in a puddle of tears.
Rebecca asks Cliff if he's using Sue Ellen to get back at JR, and Cliff insists that he genuinely loves JR's ex and has gone so far as to propose marriage. Rebecca tells him that this ill-fated relationship frightens her, and that she's convinced it's going to destroy both him and JR, and Cliff gets all prickly and insists to his ma that he's determined to fight for and win the (cold) heart of the woman he (inexplicably) loves.
Lucy is drowning her sorrows at Jimmy's Singles before deciding to settle her bill and head home for the night. She ambles across the parking lot and climbs into her car...and a few seconds later, Roger forces his way into the passenger side and orders her to drive where he tells her. Lucy cowers in fear as she turns on the engine...and when Roger glares at her and barks, "Drive! Now!", she obediently backs out of her parking spot and hits the gas.
Detective Harry McSween drops by Ewing Oil to report to JR that Christopher's bio mom is, in fact, Kristin...and that Sue Ellen signed an affidavit indicating that she 1) knows the tot is her nephew and is declining to seek custody, and 2) is pretending to not know who the bio dad could possibly be. JR lets out a huge sigh of relief and says, "That's what Bobby and Sue Ellen were talking about!", then thanks Harry for his service and ushers him out of the office. While closing the door, JR mutters, "Oh Bobby...what you did to me. Because of you, I almost lost John Ross", but now plans to turn everything around...and by turn everything around, he means he's going to blackmail Bobby into handing over his Ewing Oil voting shares in exchange for letting him adopt Christopher without further incident. He glances over at the framed photo of John Ross and remarks that soon he'll have total control of Ewing Oil, and then scrunches his face in steely determination.
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