Recap: Jackie Nee is regaling podcast listeners with the implausible tale of an obsessed stalker, Horny Harriet the Spy, who he claims lives in the bushes outside of his Queens apartment and won't stop calling him. He says he totally gets why he's being stalked, given how hot he is (though: not), and Che concurs with his fuckableness and expresses a burning desire to leap across the table and ride him "like a motherfucking city bike". Carrie suggests that maybe Horny Harriet just wanted her credit card back...and when Jackie says that she's not actually old enough to qualify for credit, Che hastily reminds him that joking about anything within the realm of sex with a minor isn't acceptable podcast talk, particularly when the bit in question isn't remotely funny. Carrie chimes in to circle back to a topic she's triggered by - city bikes - and as Che cackles about how "on fire" she is (?), it remains unclear why a supposedly successful author like Carrie is spending her days podcasting with two raunch-obsessed clowns whose tedious shock-jock schtick more than wore out its welcome in Episode 1.

Che tells Carrie that she did a great job on the podcast today and asks her how widowhood is going. Carrie admits that it's been a rough few weeks, but takes comfort in how happy she and Big were at the time he keeled over, describing her current state of mind as happy-sad. She then tells Che she's more than happy to be a supportive co-podcaster and attend the taping of their Netflix comedy special on Friday night, and Che grins back in appreciation.

While en route to The Reading of Big's Will, Miranda tells Carrie she finally listened to her wretched podcast yesterday and gushes about how funny Che is. Carrie says that if she's actually entertained by that kind of bawdy drivel, she's more than welcome to attend Che's comedy show Netflix taping on Friday night...and Miranda perks up at that and chirps, "Oh great!"

Just as The Reading of Big's Will gets underway, Big's lawyer excuses himself to take a phone call from his angry wife with whom he's currently in a fight which, for some reason, he can't put a pin in during a client meeting. Carrie tells Gloria she'd like to wrap this up asap 'cause she has a lunch summit she needs to get to.

Charlotte is startled to see Stanford arrive at the restaurant in advance of the gals' scheduled lunch summit and asks what he's doing here, so he informs her that Carrie invited him. When he asks if that's a problem, she half-heartedly says it's not - except that she only reserved a table for three, and doesn't want any complications, given that this was the only restaurant she could find in which Carrie never dined with Samantha or Big. Stanford decides to use this moment to lay bare his resentment about the dickish way she refuses to regard him as part of Carrie's inner circle, and adds that his therapist suggests she's threatened by his friendship with Carrie. Charlotte makes a seriously? face and asks him if he's really been talking about her during his therapy sessions, and he replies, "You've come up."

Gloria looks befuddled by a particular paragraph in Big's will and asks Miranda to help her out...and when Miranda reads it over, she stares back at Gloria with an ashen look on her face. When Carrie asks whassup with their weird reactions, Miranda points to the part of the will that refers to Big's bequest of $1 million to Natasha Naginsky. Carrie's all, "Natasha..?" and stares over at the lawyer in puzzlement, so he pauses arguing with his wife long enough to explain that sometimes when people have unfinished business with, say an ex-wife, they throw money at the situation.

During the lunch summit, Carrie moans about how well she was doing prior to learning that Big bequeathed Natasha $1 million, then self-piteously wonders if she herself is merely "one of the wives he was taking care of" ... and as that's happening, the waiter keeps banging the kitchen door on the back of Stanford's chair every time he enters/exits the kitchen. Carrie rails, "What is she doing in his will?!", so Miranda wryly remarks, "Well, he did destroy her life" - but Charlotte's all, "Nuh uh" and says she saw Natasha at Bergdorf pre-pandemic looking her usual fabulous self and can only assume that her life hasn't been destroyed. Stanny loyally grumbles, "Fuck her perfect not destroyed life and her pre-tax million dollars", but Carrie rightly points out that Natasha hasn't done anything wrong - while she, on the other hand, is the cheating skank who had an affair with her then-husband. No argument there. Charlotte reframes reality by pointing out that since Carrie was dating Big first, he was the one who cheated on her with Natasha before she cheated with Big on Natasha, and Carrie decides she likes that version of events and coos, "Gawd, you're a good friend." Charlotte urges her to not let this eat her up and wanks her about how she and Big were the happiest couple she knew...then hastily mutters, "Sorry, no offence" to Miranda and Stanny for unwittingly insulting their less-than-perfect unions. Carrie says she's very disturbed that not even Gloria knew anything 'bout the $1 million bequest to Natasha, and is translating this to mean that Big has been pining over his ex-wife the entire time they were married. Stanny asks her if she even knew that Big and Natasha were in touch, and an alarmed looking Carrie says, "Who said they were in touch?" - just as the waiter bangs the back of his chair for the umpteenth time.

Carrie arrives home and tries to log onto Big's computer, but is unable to 'cause she doesn't know his password. 

Charlotte is laying in bed with Rose while reading to her, then chides her "baby girl" for scrunching her so far to the edge and causing her to nearly fall off the bed. Rose tells her mother she hates it when she calls her that...and by that she means the girl part of baby girl. Rose further explains that she doesn't feel like a girl, so a flummoxed looking Charlotte chews on that for a few seconds, then tells her that sometimes she doesn't feel like a girl either and tries to get a zoned out Lily, who's wearing headphones, to claim the same. Rose says she never feels like a girl, a revelation that startles Charlotte so deeply that she tumbles off the side of the bed.

Miranda and Steve are munching ultra healthy dessert food, while a canoodling Brady and Luisa are loading up on their desserts in the kitchen. Steve asks Miranda if it was a bad idea to allow their underage son to have loud nightly sex with his girlfriend in their home, and Miranda's like, "Why? Do you have a time machine?" ... and says this as though they're somehow powerless to revisit that decision, set reasonable boundaries for their teenager, and imbue him with the notion of common courtesy. Luisa remarks on how whole milk is healthier for aging bones than the low-fat kind, and Miranda shoots her the stink-eye and is all, "Excuse me?" ... and once Luisa is out of earshot, she asks Steve if they accidentally adopted her, and Steve uselessly replies that he dunno.

A restless Carrie rifles through Big's pockets and wallet and comes across a photograph of a dog with Gogi '85 written on the back of it.

Anthony is at his sourdough shop, Hot Fellas, barking into the phone at an unsatisfied customer while Rose pounds dough and Charlotte stands around and gushes about how impressive it is that he created an entire business out of one sourdough starter in his kitchen. Anthony explains that when Covid hit, he had to find a different kind of hand job to keep himself busy...and when a genuinely puzzled looking Rose asks what a hand job is, Charlotte stammers that it's "a job you do with your hands", much like the dough she's pounding. Anthony sashays over to where Rose is pounding dough, then makes an ew face and tells her she has some serious BO...and a few seconds later, Charlotte hastily pulls Anthony aside for a private one-on-one to ask his advice on how she should react to Rose no longer wanting to be referred to as a girl. Anthony brusquely snorts, "She's a kid, ignore it" - but Charlotte argues that she's her mother and therefore can't ignore it. Anthony reminds her that kids get all kinds of short-lived notions in their heads, assures her she'll handle it perfectly if/when it's something she can no longer ignore, but urges her in the meantime to provide the imp with an ample supply of deodorant 'cause, yikes, what a stank.
​
Carrie calls Miranda to tell her that Big once had a dog named Gogi she never heard him mention, and explains that she found a photo of the pooch when she was rifling through his wallet. She then nonsensically declares that the only real way she can move past this contrived Big drama is by looking Natasha in the eye and having a grown-up conversation with her about the $1 million bequest...and to that end has sent Natasha an email at her fancy cashmere company job. She says she's miffed that Natasha hasn't responded, then - against Miranda's advice - DMs Natasha on her Instagram account while saying she has no doubt that since she's a grieving widow, the woman has no choice but to respond with compassion. A few seconds later, Carrie gasps in dismay when Natasha reacts to her DM by blocking her from her Instagram account - bwahahahahaha!! - a move that prompts Miranda to declare her "a fucking bitch". 

Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte are huddled in the back seat of a tinted Uber, staking out Natasha's workplace. Carrie says she's determined to harass Natasha into talking to her, so Charlotte tries to gently remind her that Big loved her, and that there's really nothing about him she doesn't already know. Carrie says she's wrong 'bout that, then shows her the photo of Gogi, aka "another bitch I knew nothing about" ... and Charlotte gives her a funny look and tells her she's acting crazy, while Miranda's attitude is 'so what?' about the notion of Big and Natasha having possibly kept in touch. Carrie explains that she's worried Big regretted choosing her over Natasha - just as they spot a fabulous looking Natasha exiting a car and entering her workplace. As Carrie mentally prepares herself for a needless confrontation with the ex-Mrs Big, Miranda and Charlotte tell her they'll be waiting for her at the Starbucks around the corner and wanks her about how fabulous she too looks.

Carrie tells the receptionist she's dropped by unannounced to see Natasha, and the receptionist tells her to have a seat so that her boss can think up with an excuse to avoid being in the same room with the skank who ruined her marriage. At Starbucks, meanwhile, Charlotte finds several empty Tito's bottles in Miranda's backpack while looking for a phone charger...then pretends as if nothing is amiss once Miranda returns to the table with a muffin. Charlotte asks her if everything is OK in her life, and Miranda's like, "Well, since you asked.." and says that she's been wondering if she and Steve are even a couple anymore, given that they haven't bumped uglies in years. She says that the only thing they're passionate these days about is loading up on healthy dessert food, and that any conversations they have are mostly centered around Brady and his constant boning of Luisa.

Natasha's assistant, Amber, walks over to where Carrie is sitting and crisply tells her that Natasha is unavailable today 'cause she's pretending she's in Rome, then chirps, "Have a nice day" before sashaying off. Carrie stares perplexedly into space for a few long seconds, then ambles out of the building looking discombobulated.  

Carrie heads over to Starbucks to angrily inform Charlotte and Miranda that Natasha is avoiding her by pretending to be in Rome...and then the three wander back over to Natasha's workplace so that Carrie can point up at the building and rail about how she knows she's in there - and suddenly the three spot Natasha talking on the phone and staring down at them with a the fuck? expression. Carrie's all, "Ack!" and the three totter off until they're out of viewing range of Natasha. Carrie moans about how humiliated she is by what just happened - but Miranda says she finds the whole thing amusing, while Charlotte points out that Natasha's the one who should be humiliated since she was just caught out in a brazen lie.

Early the next morning, Carrie calls Charlotte as she wanders aimlessly around Manhattan. She complains about her inability to sleep and stop obsessing over Natasha, then tells her she'll swing by her place later this evening so they can ride together to Che's Netflix taping.

Carrie meets up with Miranda at the university to rail about how mad she is at Big, and how this contrived Natasha reemergence has brought back how nervous and insecure she always used to feel when she was with him. She laments that the happy-sad ending to their marriage has been ruined...then thanks Miranda for just mutely listening to her blather and not trying to make her feel better.

Carrie calls Charlotte again to report that she's still strolling aimlessly around the city, and is about to duck into a nearby coffee shop so she can use the ladies room. By scripted coincidence, she then enters the bathroom, which Natasha happens to be using with the door unlocked...and Carrie is so startled by the sight of her nemesis that she bursts back out of the bathroom and in the process spills her hot coffee all over her hands. A few seconds later, Natasha emerges from the bathroom and snarls at Carrie for stalking her first at her workspace and now at a random coffee shop, and Carrie points out that she didn't expect her to be this far uptown 'cause it's nowhere near her apartment...then has to sheepishly admit that, yep, she knows where she lives. Natasha growls, "What the fuck do you want from me?" and Carrie just kind of shrugs and says she's not sure anymore, then asks if they could chat for a few minutes and put a permanent end to the Natasha-Big-Carrie story arc. Natasha notices the burn marks on Carrie's hands, so she pulls out a snack baggie from her purse and empties it so that she can fill it with the ice from her drink, and hands it to Carrie so she can soothe her burns. She tells Carrie she's already told her lawyer she doesn't want Big's $1 million gift and says she hadn't talked to the bum since their divorce. She then says that Big was always a puzzle...particularly when he married her while being hopelessly in love with another (namely Carrie). Carrie looks somewhat appeased by that nauseating wankery, then suggests that maybe the money was his way of saying sorry for everything. She apologizes for cheating with Big while they were married, and Natasha tells her she appreciates the apology, but to get out of her life forever now and never ever try to DM her on Instagram again.

Che Diaz is performing for the Netflix taping, aka a cringey spectacle during which they bellow at the live audience to:

• Cheer if I fucked you!
• Cheer if you fucked me!
• Cheer if you want me to fuck you!

 ... and somehow everyone cheers at each statement.

Che then rails about how clueless the unwoke are in the ways of processing gender individuality and complains that the non-binary are always being portrayed as sad, lonely people. Che screeches, "I'm not always sad!!" and claims to laugh "all the fucking time", then describes the experience coming out to family members during Thanksgiving, solemnly listing their status as queer, non-binary, and bisexual. The family members were like, "That's nice, now get away from the TV 'cause you're blocking the football game." Hee! Che gushes about being so lucky to have such a loving family, a remark Charlotte looks particularly touched by. Che goes on to shriek at the audience about the need to make life changes if they aspire to be truly happy...then delivers a clear message to all the malevolent heteros out there who want non-binary folk to live sad, lonely lives: "Suck my dick!" Miranda looks transfixed by the bizarreness of Che's verbal onslaught and exclaims, "Wow!" and says she's definitely up for attending the after-party - but Carrie and Charlotte are like, "Uh, pass" and say they'd much prefer to head home.

Charlotte calls Rose to tell her she just called to hear her voice and reiterate how much she looooooves her, then gets into the back of an Uber with Carrie. Miranda bids them both adieu, then heads back into the bar where she encounters Che. She wanders over and tells Che how utterly mesmerizing their performance was, what a robot she currently feels like in her life, and that she really really wants to mix things up. When she starts breathlessly gushing to Che about what a "comedy prophet" they are, Che urges her to breathe, chillax, and maybe do a hit of some potent weed...and when Miranda says she's not so good with weed, Che offers to "shotgun" her, then takes a puff of pot and sensually blows the smoke into Miranda's enraptured face.

In the back of the Uber, Charlotte tells Carrie she's worried that Miranda might have a drinking problem, and Carrie reacts by rolling her eyes and dismissively retorting, "Oh really? Aren't we all just drinking too much? 'Cause there's a lot to drink about lately" then jokes about how she's probably going to need a drink to get through this conversation. Charlotte ignores that needless cuntitude and explains that she found several tiny empty Tito's bottles in Miranda's backpack earlier in the episode...and instead of expressing the slightest concern for her friend's liver, Carrie stupidly quips that maybe Miranda was having a tiny party in her backpack. Charlotte points out that she can't help noticing all of the wine Miranda has been drinking lately, to which Carrie just snappishly retorts, "OK, could you stop noticing things?" and Charlotte just makes a weird bug eyes expression and decides that since Miranda's alleged over-drinking isn't penetrating through Carrie's thick skull, it's probably better to just drop the issue. The Uber arrives at Carrie's building - but she decides to stroll to her SATC apartment and caps off the episode with, "And just like that...I walked myself home."

Recap: Brady and Luisa are going at it very loudly in his bedroom, and Brady swaps positions and mounts Luisa, thrusting in time with the headboard, which pounds the wall adjacent to his parents' bedroom. As a chagrined Miranda turns up the volume on the TV to drown out the sex noises of her teenage son [who's in desperate need of boundaries], she gets an unexpected call from Carrie. 

Miranda rushes over to Carrie's apartment, where a couple of EMT guys have zipped Big's body inside a body bag and a mournful Carrie is moaning, "What do I do nowwwww?" Miranda has no answer to that question and just gives Carrie a comforting hug.

Later, Miranda lays in bed with Carrie, who's having flashbacks of a young looking Big from an early SATC episode. 

The following morning, Carrie is Googling funeral homes on her MacBook when Miranda shuffles into the kitchen and offers to make them some coffee. Carrie tells her that instead of doing that she should go home and get ready for class, 'cause she really shouldn't skip after the cringe-fest that was her first day...and Miranda mulls that over, but points out that she still needs her morning coffee.

Anthony and Stanford share a tearful hug and gush about how lucky they each are to have the other. They promise to no longer pettily nitpick each other and always realize what's most important in life...and a few seconds later, that vow flies straight out of Stanny's head when he snappishly asks Anthony if he's wearing that shitty cologne he hates. Anthony's all, "The fuck you just say?" as Stanny apologizes for his needless bitchitude.

Carrie and Charlotte arrive at a prospective funeral home...and when the greeter asks Carrie roughly how many people will be in attendance at Big's funeral, she's like, "Dunno" as a tearful Charlotte explains that they haven't had a chance to fully wrap their brains around the AJLK producers' decision to kill off a main cast member and force viewers to hereafter contend with the ensuing gloom of Carrie's ego-centric 'I lost the love of my life' grief that's sure to overshadow whatever insufferably woke story arcs are in store for this spin-off. The greeter nods sympathetically, then invites them to sit down and wait for Jane Hayes, the mortician. Once he's out of earshot, Carrie glances around the room and remarks on how much Big would hate this place 'cause it screams 'old people and death'. Charlotte bursts into tears and wails at Carrie about how sorry she is for being so annoyingly pushy about her needing to attend Lily's piano recital, and that if she'd been home with Big he'd be alive right now. Carrie reminds her that Big suffered a fatal heart attack no one could have anticipated, other than generally considering him to be at high risk of a cardiac event from all his cigar smoking, cocktail drinking, and steak eating. Jane Hayes enters the room, sees Charlotte sobbing and assumes she's the widow, and expresses condolences for her loss. Charlotte sets her straight about Carrie being Mrs. Preston, and Carrie politely thanks Jane for her time, but tells her that this comfortably appointed, traditional-style funeral home isn't going to suit the kind of stark-white, sterile aesthetic she's aiming for. She assuringly adds, "It's not you, it's me", then snarks at a loudly sobbing Charlotte to get her shit together and stand upright so they can exit with a modicum of dignity. Outside, she packs Charlotte into the back of an Uber to ferry her home, snappishly says she'd prefer to handle the funeral arrangements without her constant sobbing, then shuffles dejectedly down the street.​

Miranda arrives at the university, goes through the security checkpoint with her ID card...and sees that Nya is on the other side of the checkpoint, rifling through her handbag to locate her ID card. The security guard warns that he can't let her in without first seeing her ID card, and an indignant Miranda marches over to bitchily inform him that Nya is a professor for whom she can vouch [and says this as if that doesn't mean fuck all to a security guard], points out that he barely glanced at her ID card while he was letting her through, and asks if she can have his name. He grunts, "No" and allows Nya to enter once she finds and presents her ID card. Miranda shoots her an OMFG look and exclaims, "I just had to say something!" and Nya wryly retorts, "Really? Did you have to?" LOL. Miranda's like, "Well, d'yuh" and equates her obnoxiousness just now to fighting racism and "calling it out" whenever she sees it, so Nya calls her out on her "white savior complex" and points out that she needlessly enflamed a situation that was totally under control. Miranda sheepishly apologizes for once again acting as if she hasn't been living in New York City for the last twenty years and continues to find it a confounding mystery how to behave in a non-stupid manner around non-Caucasian people...and Nya mutters something about how they're all here, learning.

Charlotte is donning a black dress for Big's funeral and explains to her daughters that while death is sad, it's an important part of life 'cause it gives everyone a chance to remember how much their loved ones mean to them. Harry pokes his head into the room to tell Charlotte that Lisa has arrived for lunch, and Charlotte's all, "Shit! I forgot to cancel!" and rushes into the living room. As Charlotte tearfully apologizes to Lisa for not remembering to cancel their lunch and explains what a giant mess she is about Big's death, Lisa tells her not to give it a second thought and gives her a comforting hug. 

Steve tells Miranda he thinks that the Peloton workout was what killed Big...and when Miranda points out that exercise is good for the heart and that Big got the OK from his cardiologist, Steve says he needs there to be a specific culprit in order to make sense of his friend's unexpected death. The two agree that death sucks, then urge Brady to come over so they can all clump together in a family hug.
​
Carrie's on the phone with the person in charge of the funeral venue and says she'll be there soon, then wanders into the closet, stares at Big's suits, and leans into them to get a nose-ful of his lingering scent.

Carrie, who's now decked out in a simple black dress and a flying saucer hat stuck to the right side of her head, arrives with Stanford and Anthony at the Greene Naftali Gallery: a sterile, all white space that features Big's casket at the front of the room and several rows of white chairs for the guests. Carrie sees the beautiful white floral arrangement atop Big's casket, scrunches her horsey face in disapproval, and stomps off to find out who in the fuckity fuck allowed flowers to be part of her husband's no flowers allowed funeral. The women in charge explain that the flowers arrived right after they got off the phone with her, and that they figured she should at least see them and make an informed decision about whether or not she wants to keep them. Carrie asks who they're from, so they hand her the card that accompanied the flowers, which reads Love, Samantha. Carrie immediately reverses her no flowers policy and tells the women that the arrangement can stay.

As the guests arrive, Charlotte and Miranda wank Carrie about how perfectly sterile and chic everything looks - just as Carrie notices the arrival of Big's long-serving secretary, Gloria. She rushes over to warmly greet her, then greets Che Diaz, who felt compelled to stop by and offer condolences and weirdly offer to bounce anyone who gets too rowdy during the reception.

Stanford tells Gloria she's sitting in his reserved seat, and Gloria looks put out as she dismayingly realizes that Carrie didn't give enough of a shit about her to seat her in the front row along with the spin-off's main cast members. 

Miranda approaches the bar and asks for a drink...and when the bartender tells her she's been told to serve alcohol only after the service, Miranda haughtily tells her that all the liquor came from her husband's bar and that she'd like a neat bourbon super quick please 'cause she's about to deliver a terribly written eulogy.

​When Carrie gives Miranda the green light, she heads up to the front of the room and deliver a silted sounding series of statements about how lucky they all are to have known "this amazing man" and how lovely it was for them to have shared "dinners, drinks, deals, and - for some of us - cigars with this one-of-a-kind". The speech ends by remarking on what a big hole Big's departure will leave in their lives and "how sad, how very sad" it is. When she takes her seat, she reveals to Charlotte that Carrie wrote the odd sounding drivel...and Charlotte refrains from muttering that that certainly explains why it came across as so weird and pretentious.

Next up is Big's older brother, who tells everyone that Big had recently told him he'd never been happier in his whole life, decrees "that's the way to go out", then nauseatingly thanks Carrie for being the world's greatest spouse...and she gives him a mournful, yet serene nod in response. After that, someone hits play on a slide show that features photos and film clips of Big, and Gloria starts to wail so loudly that Che rushes over and hands her a tissue. Susan-Sharon rolls her eyes and asks the woman sitting next to her, "Am I the only one that remembers what a prick he was to her?" ...which, bwahahaha!! And yes.  

Carrie bids Gloria adieu, fake promises to call her soon, and asks Charlotte to go outside with Gloria and ensure that she gets into a cab. Bitsy Von Muffling wanders over to tell Carrie that she understands her grief, after losing her Bobby a year and a half ago - RIP, Nathan Lane's character! - then found love again after she hooked up with his pianist. Susan-Sharon sees an opening, so she comes over and gets all in Carrie's face about how she's forgiven her, 'cause life is too short to hold a grudge. As Carrie stares at her in befuddlement, Susan-Sharon further explains that she told herself to "fucking let it go" and make things right with Carrie, adds that she's not expecting an apology, then declares, "I love you. I'm back. The end" and suggests that they work this out once Carrie has the bandwidth. Once she's out of hearing range, Miranda asks Carrie what in blazes happened between her and Susan-Sharon, and Carrie says she has no earthly idea, especially given that her last documented interaction with Susan-Sharon occurred just prior to Aidan's dumping of her in Season 4 of SATC, and that absolutely nothing contentious happened between them during that scene. Carrie shuffles off just as Steve comes over to tell Miranda how amaaaazing Carrie is for keeping it together during the funeral, and says if it were her (Miranda) in that box, he'd be a blubbering mess. [He might end up changing his tune 'bout that, several episodes from now.]

Miranda enters the lobby and finds Brady smoking pot out of Che's pipe, so she storms over to demand WTF is going on here. Che explains that Brady wandered by and requested a hit of marijuana so figured 'why not help this young stranger break the law by doing pot while underage and in a public space where smoking anything isn't even permitted?' - and Miranda screeches, "He's seventeen!" Brady implores his mother to stop embarrassing him, and Miranda reacts by getting all in Che's face and lets out a string of expletives as she rails about funeral pot pushing and snarls, "You don't want want to mess with me" and threatens to rip Che's head off. An unfazed and somewhat amused looking Che backs off and urges Miranda to chillax, while a mortified Brady explains to his mother that he was so sad about Big he found himself in desperate need of a quick hit of weed. An unsympathetic Miranda bellows at him to go home with Steve and decrees, "No Luisa for a week!" Hurray! Brady's headboard and I thank you, Miranda.

Miranda returns to the funeral reception, where an oblivious-to-what-just-happened Carrie introduces her to Che Diaz, her podcast boss. Che politely says, "Nice to meet you" ... and once Carrie excuses herself and is out of earshot, Miranda stammeringly explains her reaction to finding Brady smoking pot from a strange person's pipe, but Che breezily remarks on how cool it is that she was protecting her son...and that she's way more papa than mama bear. Miranda chuckles, and the two agree to reset and introduce themselves again. Che explains that Che is the first three letters of Cheryl, then remarks that Miranda is a less suitable name for a sultry firecracker such as herself than is the moniker Rambo...and Miranda blushingly cackles at her intriguing new friend's assessment of her. 

Miranda and Charlotte accompany Carrie back to her apartment, where they find a plethora of flowers and food donations lining the hallway. They grumble over people not respecting Carrie's firmly stated no flowers, no nuthin', fuck off edict and go inside the apartment. Later, Carrie is unable to sleep, so she turns on her phone and texts thank you to Samantha for ordering the lovely floral arrangement that sat atop Big's casket. 

​The next day while waiting for the subway, Miranda sees Nya enter the train station...and a few seconds after that, a guy in a creepy Chucky mask harasses Nya before grabbing her purse, so Miranda runs over and clubs him over the head with one of her humanitarian law textbooks. Miranda sheepishly tells Nya she hopes she didn't just insult her with an inappropriate white savior moment - but Nya assures her she's just grateful for the intervention that kept her purse from being stolen.

Carrie's doorman delivers a box containing Big's ashes, and she reacts by inviting Miranda and Stanford over to help her get through the tough moment by drinking cocktails. When Carrie gets alerted that Charlotte is on her way up, she orders Stanny to hide in the other room 'cause she doesn't want Charlotte to think she didn't invite her over for cocktails - which she didn't - and explains to a disgruntled looking Stanny that he has to be the one to hide 'cause it'd be less suspicious for Charlotte to see Miranda in her living room drinking a cocktail, given that it's her night to babysit. Charlotte arrives at the door and tells Carrie she just stopped by to bring her some magazines to read - just as she spots Stanford tiptoeing back into the living room to retrieve his martini. For a few seconds, Carrie pretends to have no idea why Stanford is inside her apartment, then acknowledges that the jig is up when she tells Stanny he can to stop pretending to hide now. Miranda wanders over and explains to Charlotte that Carrie was very upset after Big's ashes were delivered, and Charlotte reacts by handing Carrie the bag of magazines and despondently shuffling towards the elevator. Carrie runs out after her to explain that she called Stanford to come over and cheer her up after the ashes came, and implores her to not make this about her. Charlotte wails that she's trying really hard not to, but that it's sooooo obvious she called Stanford over her 'cause she's still mad at her about being pressured to attend the piano recital. Carrie comes right out and says that, yep, she purposely didn't call her - but that it's 'cause she gets so emotional, and clarifies that she's mad at herself for not driving to the Hamptons with Big that night, then shrieks, "Like I waaaaaaaanted to!!" Carrie's hoodie clad neighbor, Phil, pokes his head out the door and asks if everything's OK, and Carrie apologizes for her shrillness and invites Charlotte to come in and hang. Charlotte tells Carrie she can't blame herself for not being with Big that night 'cause she had no idea he was about to keel over from a heart attack, and Carrie points out, "And neither did you." Stanford interjects to ask, apropos of nothing, whassup with the designer white hoodie on "the old coot neighbor", and Carrie cites Stanford's ability to find levity in even her darkest moments as the reason she opted to invite him - and not her sobbing friend - over.  

That night, Carrie has troubling falling asleep in her bedroom, so she tiptoes into the living room to settle onto the couch, where she lays her head atop her pillow and stares glumly at the box containing Big's ashes. 

Recap: Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda are waiting to get a table at an upscale Midtown eatery named Clee when they spot Bitsy Von Muffling, who scampers over to greet them and concernedly ask about the whereabouts of "the fourth musketeer". Charlotte solemnly tells her that Samantha is "no longer with us", and when Bitsy all, "Ack! Did she die?", Miranda hastily explains that since Kim Cattrall made it clear she'd rather jump off a cliff than reprise her SATC role and/or ever be on a set with SJP again, the writers decided it was entirely plausible that Samantha Jones relocated her New York-centric PR firm to London. Bitsy lets out a long sigh of relief and quips about how she assumes that whoever is no longer in her orbit has either died of Covid or moved to Palm Beach, then air-kisses the three of them and flounces off - just as the hostess chirps, "Carrie, party of three."

Over lunch, Miranda shares that she stepped on a used condom in (her son) Brady's room this morning...and Charlotte lets out double ewwwws when Miranda adds that she was barefoot at the time. She further explains that, for some insane reason, she and Steve decided it was a good idea to let Brady's girlfriend Luisa stay overnight at their house, which they now regret 'cause his bedroom floor has become a minefield of used, discarded condoms that he's apparently too much of a slob to pick up and throw in the garbage can. Carrie's like, "I couldn't give the tiniest rat's ass about your semen problems" and asks if either of them would like to split the croquet-madame...and mercifully the conversation shifts to the topic of Miranda's plans to return to university to earn a Master's of Human Rights that she's pairing with her law degree. Charlotte gently asks her if she's planning on coloring her hair, then comes right out and says the grey ages her...and Miranda says she has no plans to visit a hair salon anytime soon and chides Charlotte for not wanting to hang out with a grey-haired friend [even though, to me, her grey looks fairly blondish] 'cause of how much harder it is for her to keep pretending to be whatever age she's pretending to be. Charlotte argues that she's totes OK with admitting she's fifty-five and that she really really misses Miranda's sassy red 'do of yore, which might be a fun change for her imminent return to the classroom. Miranda says she doesn't need to be a spicy redhead to study for a Master's degree and that there are more important issues in the world besides desperately clinging to one's youth. Charlotte scrunches her face perplexedly at that notion, then points out that Ruth Bader Ginsberg used to dye her hair...to which Carrie retorts, "Mic drop."

Carrie uses her phone to film a guy who walks past their table wearing a strange bowl hat, then explains to Miranda that she's been posting videos of unwitting strangers who have "interesting style" on her Instagram account, which has vastly grown in popularity now that she's podcasting. Sure, yeah...that seems entirely plausible. Miranda tells Carrie she loves her to death, but that she draws the line at podcasts...which seems like a random thing to draw the line at, given that podcasts have been around for over twenty years. TikTok, on the other hand, I could more see a fifty-something drawing the line at. Charlotte rushes back to the table to excitedly report that she just ran into her new friend Lisa Todd Wexley in the ladies room, explains that she and Lisa (who everyone calls LTW for short) are on the parent's school board together, and that she's soooooo cool. She adds that Lisa's son Henry is studying with the same piano teacher Lily studies with...then chides Carrie for not yet RSPVing to Lily's upcoming piano recital. Carrie tells her it's doubtful she'll go 'cause she and Big have plans to drive to the Hamptons that night...and Charlotte poutishly points out that they can go to the Hamptons anytime and that Lily's recital is a once-in-a-lifetime melodic extravaganza that's being held at the ritzy Manhattan School of Music. Carrie promises to talk it over with Big - just as Lisa ambles over to say hey to Charlotte again and meet her gal pals. Carrie and Miranda exchange polite chit-chat with Charlotte's new bestie, share a couple of fries with her, then head out so that Carrie can make it to her podcast taping on time.

Charlotte unzips a garment bag to show Lisa the floral dresses she got for Lily and Rose to wear for the recital, and Lisa frets that Henry is going to screw the pooch on his performance 'cause she started him with his lessons way too late - plus he really hates practicing. Charlotte assures her that the other parents will understand he's just a kid who's starting out - but Lisa says that her mother-in-law isn't likely to be understanding at all 'cause she's an accomplished concert pianist, as well as a malevolent pain-in-the-ass.
 
While strolling to Podcast Headquarters, Miranda tells Carrie not to stress about skipping Lily's recital, 'cause it's an 'every kid gets a trophy' kind of event. Carrie says she should probably go, not least 'cause Charlotte is a supportive friend who listens to her podcast. Miranda chortles sheepishly at that, then brings up the subject of Samantha and says that since they never speak of her, it does kinda feel like she's dead. Carrie shrugs and retorts that she has nothing further to say on the matter...except to explain to viewers that when she told Samantha it no longer made sense to keep her on as a publicist, given the state of the publishing world, Samantha responded by snarking, "Fine!" and firing her as a friend. Seems like an implausibly over-dramatic reaction, given that most of Samantha's PR business seemed to be center around corporate branding and event planning and less around the promotion of obscure publications like Carrie's 'I couldn't help but wonder' musings, but OK. Carrie sadly says she left Samantha many texts and voicemails, all of which have gone unanswered...and Miranda's like, "Same" about the many messages she and Charlotte have sent. A few seconds later, the two arrive at Podcast Headquarters, and Carrie thanks Miranda for walking with her and assures her that her blondish-grey hair looks fab.

Charlotte arrives home and shows Lily the floral dress she got her for the recital, and an amiable Lily tells her she loooooves it. A few seconds later, Harry and Rose return home from an afternoon of skateboarding...and when Charlotte shows Rose her floral dress, she shrugs disinterestedly and saunters off to her room.
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Carrie returns home, where Big is in the kitchen cooking dinner. The two exchange banal chit-chat before Carrie puts on a vinyl record (a tradition they started under the Covid lockdown) so that Big can roll out the full cheese of his schmaltz schtick and croon to her while she gazes back at him adoringly. When the two head back into the kitchen to prepare their fish dinner, Big gives his OK to driving to the Hamptons a day later so that Carrie can attend Lily's piano recital...but says he has zero desire to tag along 'cause he has a date to spin with his Barcelona-born Peloton instructor, Allegra.

Miranda arrives in Manhattan for the first day of class...and gets into the city early so she figures 'why not go into the nearest bar and guzzle some booze first?' The bartender gives her a funny look and tells her they don't open until 11:00am, so she seats herself on a barstool and tells him she'll wait.

A toasted Miranda enters a classroom filled with students decades younger and accidentally sits in the professor's chair. She hastily takes another seat, then similarly warns a black woman sporting long braids who enters the classroom a few seconds later. The woman shoots her the stink-eye and identifies herself as Professor Nya Wallace...and then she and Miranda get into a cringey back-and-forth about whether or not Miranda thinks a university professor should/can have long braided hair. Miranda motions at the greyish mop that is her hair and cites it as proof of what little importance she places on peoples' hairdos, then wanks Nya about how excited she is to take her course not just 'cause she's black, but 'cause she's "such a force in academia". She then apologizes to the class for taking up everyone's time before finally shutting her yap...and Nya introduces the course, Policies and Principles of Humanitarian Law, and acknowledges that, yep, the photo of her on the university's website has her rockin' more of a sassy Halle Berry 'do as opposed to the long braids she's currently sporting.

Carrie is podcasting with raunch devotee Jackie Nee and host Che Diaz, who self-identifies as a "queer, non-binary, Mexican-Irish diva". Jackie sets the topic du jour - why women don't buff the muff in subways more - and Che shares that they like to do it while in Yankee Stadium, while Jackie boasts that there isn't a public place in which he hasn't spanked his monkey [and hopefully been amply arrested for public indecency]. When Che asks Carrie to add her two cents to the inane banter, she stammers uncomfortably and quips, "I would like to buy a vowel please" ... and when Jackie and Che continue to stare at her expectantly, she jokes that she hasn't masturbated publicly since Barney's closed. Jackie scrunches his face confusedly and asks what Barney's is, and Carrie sighs and retorts, "OK, now that's offensive."

Nya enters the subway station chatting on the phone with her husband, then winces when she spots Miranda waiting for the train a few feet away. She abruptly ends the call when Miranda waves and then ambles over to introduce herself in a "non-manic, non crazy lady way" and gush about how much it means to her to be in her class. She natters about how she quit corporate law after feeling a sudden, burning passion to help the hapless folk who were stuck in limbo at JFK airport after Trump's "muslim ban" was decreed - just as a random subway musician drowns her out with the noise of his electric guitar. Nya's all, "Wha-a-at? I didn't catch a lot of that" - LOL - and avoids getting into the same train car as Miranda, who looks mortified that this is now the second time she's made a total arse of herself in front of her new professor.

Che tells Carrie she's going to have to engage a lot more while taping the podcast and that she can't just sit there and uselessly giggle. Carrie explains that the conversation got raunchier than she's comfortable with, so Che warns that she's going to have to roll with it or risk being labelled uptight by judgemental online trolls. Egads! Che wanks Carrie about how groundbreaking her '90s Sex and the City column was - but makes clear that she's going to have to step her pussy up, get out of her played out 'I couldn't help but wonder' comfort zone, and start chiming in with a more acceptable level of raunch whenever it's called for.

Carrie is sitting in front of her laptop, doing her best to tackle the ticklish topic of masturbation. She heads over to the bedroom, where Big is laying atop the bed reading, and asks him if he likes to spank the monkey from time to time...hastily adding that she's only asking 'cause it's part of her research for the podcast. Big admits that he does, so Carrie asks if he wouldn't mind putting on a little masturbatory show for her. He decides 'sure, why the hell not?' and lubes one of his hands and slides it under the bedsheet. He then moans, "Oooooh my, Carrie!" and pulls her towards him, and the two giggle and smooch amorously.

The next evening, Carrie enters her ginormous walk-in closet and stares at the endless shelves of glittery stilettos and coos, "Hello, lovers." She selects the heels she wore during her/Big's City Hall wedding, then heads over to the living room, where Big is contemplatively staring out the window and smoking a cigar. She makes sure he notices that she's wearing her wedding shoes, then asks if he thinks he might be up for the drive to the Hamptons after Lily's piano recital,..and he says it all depends how tired he is from his Peloton workout and promises to text her later. He then gazes at Carrie lovingly as she snarks, "Tell that whore Allegra I said bye" while flouncing out the door.

Charlotte is imploring Rose to wear the non-poofy Oscar de la Renta floral dress she bought for her...and when that proves fruitless, tries to get Harry in on the pressure campaign. Rose capitulates, but insists on wearing a fugly tuxedo t-shirt overtop the dress, and topping off the unsightly get-up along with a silly hat. 

As everyone congregates at the Manhattan School of Music, Harry greets Steve, who laments being a deaf and glum old-timer. A few seconds later, Stanford arrives, and he and Anthony bicker back and forth about how Anthony departed for the recital and left Stanny behind 'cause he was taking far too long to get ready, blah blah..

While in a long line to use the ladies room, Miranda tells Carrie what a ginormous ass she made of herself on her first day of class, then whines that she really has to pee...and decides that since she's fifty-five, she's entitled to be able to do her business in the adjacent and totally vacant men's room. 

While seated in the auditorium, Anthony tells Carrie that Stanny is mad at him for scrolling hot guys on his phone, which he admits he's doing 'cause he's looking to hire hot delivery guys for his sourdough business. Miranda, meanwhile, pulls a bottle of wine out of her purse...and when Charlotte gasps disapprovingly, Miranda growls about the rough day she just had and to let it go. Lisa arrives with her bitchy mother-in-law in tow...and when she sees that Miranda is guzzling wine, she asks if she can her own paper cup to get through what's sure to be a rough night.

Recital! Lisa's son, Henry, is first up...and his poor practicing regimen quickly shines through with his subpar performance. Lisa's husband looks dismayed by his son's lack of musical talent and asks Lisa if he can swiftly guzzle her small cup of red wine...and elsewhere in the row, Steve removes his hearing aid, much to the amusement of Miranda. 

Big starts his Peloton workout with his virtual trainer, Allegra, at the same time Brady and his girlfriend start sucking face at the recital. Miranda barks at Steve to tell their son to cool it with the PDA 'cause she doesn't always want to be the bad guy, and Brady overhears the conversation and poutishly tells his mother that he and Luisa won't be sex-shamed...or shamed into behaving appropriately while at a kids' piano recital.

After Henry's substandard performance, Lily takes the stage and plays Beethoven's Presto Agitato with more skillful gusto than everyone (save for Charlotte and Harry) were expecting. While that's happening, Mr. Big finishes what looks like a strenuous workout, texts Carrie about wanting to drive to the Hamptons tonight, then turns on the shower. In the process, he suffers a sudden chest pain, drops his phone, and slinks onto the wet floor as he clutches his chest and stares despondently into space. Lily, meanwhile, has finished her performance and gets some well-earned, enthusiastic applause. 

Carrie tells Stanny she can't go out for a drink with him 'cause she and Big have plans to drive to the Hamptons this evening. 

Carrie arrives home and finds Big slumped against the shower, his face contorted into a weak 'help me' expression. She responds by standing across the room and staring at him in horror for what seems like a very loooong time in lieu of racing over to her phone and calling 911...then finally kicks herself into motion and shrieks, "Johhhhhhn!!" while running over to him and tightly cradling him in her arms as he quietly suffocates on her hair and succumbs to the sweet release of death.