Sex and the City - Season 6, Episode 5

"Ever notice that we have zero on-screen chemistry?"

"Lights, Camera, Relationship!"
Original airdate: 7/20/2003

Episode summary: Carrie learns that Jack's second book option has been dropped by his publisher. Miranda continues to quietly pine over Steve. Samantha helps promote Smith's play.

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Recap: Carrie takes Jack to Prada so she can introduce him to the people in her world...such as Tony, the Prada salesclerk who routinely gushes over her "beauty" so that he can upsell her on overpriced designer wear. Jack glances around the giant warehouse-like store and mutters, "Holy shit." He receives cheek kisses by Tony, then is offered champagne by a pretty saleswoman so he can kick back and dull his senses while Carrie tries on the latest fashions.

Post-doink, Samantha asks Smith if he's free for their regular Friday night romp, but he has to decline 'cause he's appearing in a play called Full Moon. He hands her a sad looking postcard that serves as the only promotion for the play...and Samantha looks it over, makes a blech face when she sees it's in Brooklyn, and snarks, "I don't do borough." Smith leans in real close and seductively purrs, "You come see me in Brooklyn - afterwards, I'll make sure you come and come in the bedroom" and Samantha perks up at the promise of a marathon doinkfest with her hot boy toy and says she'd be more than happy to attend.

Jack is guzzling champagne when Carrie exits the fitting room in an overpriced Prada dress she's considering adding to her wardrobe. Tony struts over carrying a dark red men's shirt to peddle to Jack - but Jack gasps when he sees the ridiculous price tag and declines. Tony tells Carrie he just broke up with his girlfriend Claudia, then asks her if she she has any single gal pals who are as fantastic as she is - OMFG - and Carrie grins and says indeed she does have someone in mind.
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At the next brunch summit, Carrie tells Charlotte to cheer up 'cause she'd like to set her up with Tony from Prada. Charlotte asks if he's Jewish...and when the gigolas shoot her a look of bemused incredulity, she irritably asks if they thought she'd simply discard her new religious beliefs two seconds after Harry dumped her like yesterday's news. Miranda's like, "Uh, yeah..?" and Charlotte haughtily insists she's no fair-weather Jew, despite her sadness about about Harry giving her the heave-ho. She says she's deeply embarrassed about having to tell prospective new boyfriends about her marriage/dating history...as well she should be, since no one put a gun to her head and forced her to marry Trey only a few months after they met, and then jump into the sack with Harry five minutes after signing divorce papers. Carrie suggests she keep it casual by bringing Tony along for drinks on Friday - but when Samantha checks her day planner, she lets out a string of expletives and says she can't come on Friday night 'cause she promised Smith she'd go see his play.

"You thought I'd give up on Judaism this quickly?"

"No one didn't think you'd give up on Judaism in a New York minute."

Miranda is watching TV when Steve drops off Brady. He gives her some leftover birthday cake from the moms at the playground, then says he needs to rush home to catch the Knicks game. Miranda invites him to stay and watch the game at her apartment...and he mulls that over and decides why the hell not? Later, after the game goes into overtime, Steve ends up falling asleep on the couch...and Miranda stands a few feet away, staring sadly at his sleeping form, no doubt kicking herself for treating him like a pile of garbage when she so callously dumped him soon after he adopted that cute puppy.

Carrie is loaded down with shopping bags when she meets up with Jack, and he jokes about her Prada abuse problem. She retorts by presenting him with the dark red shirt that Tony had recommended...and Jack says she can't afford to blow good money on an overpriced Prada shirt, but she's like, "Uh, I can actually" and giddily flashes him the $25,000 advance check she received for her book. Apparently, her 'I couldn't help but wonder' schlock is all the rage in Paris. Go figure. She then natters about how fabulous he is and that she's not taking no for an answer about him accepting the red shirt into his wardrobe...and he gives in, but looks less than thrilled. 

Carrie and Miranda are ambling along the street, pushing Brady in his stroller. They run into Courtney, who tells Carrie she just got fired by Clearwater Press 'cause of disappointing sales in her sector. She adds that Jack must also be bummed 'cause Clearwater dropped the option to publish his second book. Once Courtney is out of earshot, Carrie moans to Miranda about how stupid she now feels for waving her 25K check around and buying Jack that ridiculously expensive shirt...even though she should have felt stupid about doing all that independent of Courtney's bombshell. Miranda tells her she should be able to celebrate her success and not worry about how it affects Jack...but then advises her to stay mum on the subject until Jack brings it up. Excellent advice which, naturally, Carrie ignores.

​Over in Central Park, Anthony is checking out hot straight guys on Charlotte's behalf - but she tells him she's not into man-trolling 'cause she's still getting over Harry. Anthony dismissively tells her her it's been two weeks and that she has to move on, but Charlotte moans about losing the love of her life and says she can't get herself interested in any other man.

Samantha is visibly bored by Smith's badly attended play - but she perks up when Smith enters the stage and silently takes off his overalls and bares his naughties. When the two go at it, later at her apartment, he asks her if she liked his monologue...and she's like, "Monologue..?" - LOL - and and says her mind went blank as soon as he "dropped trou". Smith says he had to quit his restaurant job 'cause they refused to give him time off for the play...and Samantha scrunches her face with an expression of empathy and says she's going to do him the favor of helping him become a big star by donating her expert PR services to the theatre in better promoting Full Moon.

Yum

"Definite yum."

Carrie and Jack are sitting in bed reading when Carrie asks him if anything's wrong...then spills the beans about running into Courtney and hearing all about how his option for a second book got dropped by the publisher. Jack scrunches his face in mortification and says he didn't want anyone to know - then half-heartedly assures her he's still happy for her implausible success as a published author. Carrie offers to put in a good word for him with her editor, but he snarkishly declines the offer and curls up on his side of the bed. Carrie tells him that things are going to work out A-OK 'cause he's a super great writer, but he just grunts in response and stares dully into space. 

While out for drinks that night, Carrie complains to Samantha that Jack grunted at her when she was trying to stroke his ego, then chides herself for stupidly telling him she heard all about his failed book deal. Samantha says that sometimes men who are flailing about need a strong woman to charge in and help - like the way she just did with her boy toy. She pulls out a newspaper and shows Carrie the article she helped cobble together that promotes Full Moon. The fluff piece labels Smith "the next it boy" and declares that "the glitterati are migrating to Brooklyn to see him act" ... and by glitterati she means the SATC gals, who are being ordered to show up 'cause she bought them all tickets for opening night. When an incredulous Carrie asks her if Smith was OK with her doing all of this free publicity on his behalf, Samantha happily says he's of the generation where men aren't threatened by a woman's power and connections. 

Carrie mulls over that notion and goes home and taps on her computer about whether men in this new era of gender equality are no longer threatened by a woman's power. Or some such shit. Maybe Smith is just a chill, secure guy.

Steve is baking cupcakes when Miranda drops by to pick up Brady. She acts all flirty and offers to finish decorating the cupcakes so that Steve can head off to work - right before her tells her that the cupcakes are for Debbie's birthday. Haha! As soon as Steve leaves, Miranda calls Carrie and tearfully tells her she somehow roped herself into decorating Debbie's birthday cupcakes...and Carrie's all, "Wuh?" and orders her to step away from the icing and decrees, "Debbie cannot have your tears." OK...though I'm pretty sure that Debbie, who's oblivious to Miranda's sudden change of heart about her feelings for Steve, wasn't expecting to have her tears.

Carrie exits her apartment after Jack rings her doorbell...and is less than thrilled to see that he's on his motorcycle. She says she's not dressed for a motorcycle ride and would prefer to not have helmet hair - but he insists he really really wants to ride over the Brooklyn Bridge. Carrie gives in, but asks him to please not ride too fast.

​When Jack and Carrie arrive at the theatre, which is surrounded by paparazzi 'cause it must be a really slow day of celebrity sightings in New York, Carrie leaps off of the motorcycle and yells at Jack for riding too fast. She snarks that her hands were digging into him as a plea to slow down, and he says he thought she was just doing that 'cause she was so excited by being on a bike. LOL. She yells that she's not willing to die in a motorcycle accident just 'cause he's bummed about his failure as a writer, and he admits that he's annoyed that a shittastic columnist such as she could possibly be more successful at writing than he is. He then dials it back and says he doesn't want to be an angry jealous guy, gushes nauseatingly about how magnificent she is, then holds his arms wide open as a hug invitation. [OMFG, break up.] Carrie walks over to hug him, then grins when she sees that he's wearing the red Prada shirt she gave him earlier.

"You are waaaaay too fabulous to be in a relationship with a loser like me."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Carrie and Jack walk across the red carpet, and somehow the paparazzi knows who Carrie is and starts excitedly calling out her name. OMFG. She explains to a puzzled Jack (and the puzzled viewers) that she used to be "a party girl" ... and things get really awkward when the paparazzi complain about wanting just her in the shot. Carrie refuses to ditch Jack...and when the paparazzi ask who in blazes this loser is, she spells out his name and gushingly tells them he's a writer. Jack gets irked by that, being the moody baby he is, and pulls away from Carrie, then tells her he just wants to hightail it outa here. Carrie nods sadly...and when Stanford and Tony magically appear, they head inside to where Charlotte is sitting...and everyone settles in for the opening act of Full Moon. Within seconds, Smith steps onto the stage, gets naked, and does a pretty good job delivering his monologue. Samantha appears intrigued by his acting abilities and actually seems touched by his performance. Stanford leans over to her and giddily remarks, "A stud is born!" ... and after the play wraps up, the cast gets a standing ovation.

​As everyone starts to file out of the theatre, Carrie ambles toward the exit alone, looking as pitiful as she can muster that her about-to-be-ex bailed out on her so abruptly.

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