Recap: Miranda runs into Steve and his dog Scout while she's exiting a coffee shop. Steve gushes about how great she's looking, then excitedly says he has big news and that he just sent out the invitations. Miranda eyes him warily, afraid he's about to announce his impending nuptials to a woman who's likely treating him a whole lot nicer than she did while they were together - then breathes a sigh of relief when he tells her he's opening his own bar and that he'd like her to come to the grand opening. Miranda congratulates him - just as his girlfriend Jessica (who we met in the Season 3 finale) appears out of nowhere and chirps, "We'd love to see you there!"
Miranda calls Carrie from her office to grumble about how Jessica "we'd" Steve right in front of her. She's also annoyed that Steve was never ambitious while they were a couple, and that it's doubly annoying 'cause she was always harping on him to open his own bar. Carrie suggests that perhaps her constant nagging to be all that he could be inspired him to name the new bar after her, but Miranda glumly says he named it Scout, after his dog. [LOL. As an insane dog lover, I applaud this excellent decision.] Carrie urges her to suck it up and attend the opening...and Miranda says she'll consider it, but only if she agrees to go with her.
At the next brunch, Carrie slaps down her Scout invitation on the table and snaps, "Not going!" 'cause the invitation lists Aidan as the bar's co-owner. While Samantha studies the invitation in stunned silence, Carrie scrunches her face in misery and wails, "How did this happpppen? Why are they even friennnnnds?" so Miranda informs her that, according to Jessica - who answered the phone while Steve was in the shower - Aidan is Steve's silent partner. Carrie whines that the bar opening is going to be a sad parade of hers and Miranda's failed relationships - though I'd interpret the bonding of Aidan and Steve as more of a shameful statement of how cuntily Carrie and Miranda treated them before giving them the dumperoo. Miranda points out that Aidan has obviously forgiven her for repeatedly screwing around on him with her married ex and is now somehow OK with being friends. Samantha says she'd like to attend the opening - but not with the ol' ball and chain (Maria) who only ever wants to take long baths and talk about their feelings. How relationshippy!
That evening, Samantha goes out on the town with Maria, who grumbles about how she'd much rather stay in and enjoy a relaxing soak. Samantha runs into various men she's hit the sheets with...and a particularly horny looking one - Shawn - asks her what she's doing Saturday night. Maria interjects and gruffly tells him they have plans that night, so Shawn leans toward Samantha and tells her he'll call soon. After he ambles off, the bartender brings them free drinks and suggestively informs Samantha that he gets off work at 4:00am.
Charlotte is waiting for Trey at a furniture store when - ack! - Bunny appears out of nowhere. She says that when Trey told her they were shopping for a new bed, she figured she'd need to stick her nose into that situation to ensure that they buy a bed which meets with her approval. She starts nattering about the importance of a firm mattress and a high quality dust ruffle - but Charlotte points out that the modern type beds don't actually need dust ruffles. Bunny looks aghast at the notion of a dust ruffle-less bed and and snootily decrees, "It's unsightly" then sits on one of the beds to test its firmness and calls it divine. When Trey arrives, Bunny urges him to try it out by laying next to her...and he dutifully complies and agrees that, yep, it's comfy alrighty. The two urge Charlotte to also test out the bed, and when she reluctantly stretches out next to Trey, he lets out a happy sigh and coos, "This is heaven" ... which prompts an icked out Charlotte to spring up from the bed and stare down at her weird husband with disgust. Bunny not-so-subtly sticks it to Charlotte by reminding Trey about the importance of a dust ruffle, and he nods and amiably replies, "You know best."
Miranda is in bed with her cat Fatty when the two hear creaking noises coming from the apartment above them...and Miranda glances around looking freaked out.
The next day, Miranda tells the gals about her ghostly visitation, and Carrie breezily suggests that the person who lives above her was probably creeping around in the middle of the night. Miranda says she thought so too, but when she inquired with the building manager she found out that the unit directly above hers is vacant - plus, she sensed the presence of a ghost. Samantha advises her to address the ghost, release it to the heavens, and hope to hell it doesn't turn out to be a poltergeist.
Carrie sits in her apartment, puffs on a cigarette, and types up her column. She pronounces New York City to be haunted 'cause of how inevitable it's going to be for her to run into the boyfriend she cheated on with her married ex last season, which led to the breakup of that marriage. She voice-overs that receiving the invitation to Scout has suddenly brought Aidan back into her life (though not exactly), then asks her readership to chew on the following: when a relationship dies, do we ever really give up the ghost, or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past? Let's see, Carrie...if a person treats someone in the stone-cold, shitty way you treated Aidan in Season 3, then yeah, you probably deserve to be forever haunted for your self-indulgent behavior.
The lesbians are enjoying yet another soak in the bathtub when Maria asks Samantha why she didn't get introduced to Shawn, and Samantha shrugs and says he's just a guy she used to fuck...and ditto for the bartender who gave them free drinks. Maria gets irked at Samantha for not telling these men she's with someone now, so Samantha jokingly asks if she should make a formal declaration to all of her past and future hookups about "being done with dick". Maria coos, "Oooh, do you miss the dick?" then suggests they cuddle together amid a dozen lit candles and thoroughly discuss the conundrum. Samantha says she's all talked out with her on every subject, then leans in for some lesbian sex action - but Maria snaps at her to not always use sex to connect with her. Annoyed at being rebuffed, Samantha snaps, "I think I'm clean now" and abruptly climbs out of the tub.
Charlotte wanders into the bedroom clutching a wooden mallard and asks Trey if Bunny is the one responsible for the apartment's grisly decor. Trey's like, "Well duh" and says that his mother decorates all their homes...and Charlotte makes an ew face and wails about how it feels as though they live in "the museum of natural ugliness". Trey says his mother spent a lot of time and money on all the duck decoys and plaid wallpaper, but Charlotte reminds him that she's his wife and that she plans to have a chat with Bunny about her need to redecorate. Trey says that things might run smoother if he talks to Bunny, and promises to [half-heartedly] make it clear that her [hideous] interior design choices are going to have to go.
The next morning, Trey wakes up with a bad cold...which means that his decor discussion with Bunny is temporarily on hold. Bunny, who has rushed right over upon hearing of Trey's congestion, announces to Charlotte that she'll be staying in their guest room until her mama's boy has fully recovered.
Carrie drops by Scout with a housewarming plant. She runs into Steve and explains that she came by for a sneak peek and also to thank Aidan for inviting her to the opening. Steve sheepishly confesses that it was him (and not Aidan) who sent her the invitation, and that he only did it 'cause he figured Miranda would be more comfortable if she had a friend to attend the opening with her. When Aidan suddenly calls out to Steve from the back room of the bar, Carrie's all, "Ack!" and flees before he sees her there.
At bedtime, Miranda hears the ceiling above her creaking again, and she gets so freaked out that she calls Carrie to keep her company while they ghost watch. In the next scene, Carrie arrives with a bag of Oreos.
Bunny creeps into the master bedroom in the middle of the night to rub cold medicine on Trey's chest. Charlotte wakes up and is all, "Wha-a?" then grabs the bottle from Bunny, snarks at her for being inappropriate, and haughtily says that she should be the one rubbing Vicks on her husband's chest. Bunny looks insulted and starts to stalk off, so Charlotte half-heartedly apologizes - but makes it clear to her meddling mother-in-law that this is their home, and that they're going to redecorate it as they see fit. (Er...OK, but I thought she just agreed to let Trey discuss the issue of redecoration with his mother??) Bunny smugly reminds Charlotte that she's been in this house far longer, never left for a trial separation (as Charlotte did), weirdly threatens, "I'm going to be here forever" and then wanders off. That was kind of nonsensical. Since Bunny doesn't actually live in the apartment, wouldn't she consider her Connecticut estate the home she'll "be in forever"?
Samantha and Maria are fast asleep when Shawn starts pounding on the door for a late night booty call. Samantha sleepily answers the door and tells him he can't be here...and a few seconds later, Maria appears next to her and introduces herself to Shawn as Samantha's girlfriend. Shawn perks up and compliments Samantha on her newly uncovered lesbianism, then suggests he come in for "a sandwich or something". Samantha tells him that tonight isn't going to work for them - them meaning Maria, 'cause no doubt she'd be up for an impromptu doink - then shuts the door and apologizes to Maria for the unexpected intrusion. When Shawn raps on the door again, Maria yells at him to go away and threatens to call the cops...then directs her wrath onto Samantha for her history of indulging horny men to come to her door in the middle of the night. An irritated Samantha reminds her that she used to have sex with men before entering into this dismal relationship, then screeches, "The talking in our relationship has replaced the fucking in our fucking relationship!" She whines about how she wants passion and fireworks, and Maria takes this to mean that Samantha wants her to flail her arms about, shriek angrily, and start smashing dishes all over the kitchen floor.
Carrie wakes up in Miranda's bed after comforting her through the scary ghost visitation. Carrie remarks on how amazing Scout looked when she dropped by, and Miranda says she's doing her best to be happy for Steve and his exciting new life...even though she's kinda depressed that she's stuck in her rut of working at the same firm and jumping into the sack with every Doug, Dave, and hot police detective she meets. She then urges Carrie to attend the opening of Scout, and points out that Steve wouldn't have invited her if he didn't think Aidan would be totes OK with it. Carrie mulls that over as she munches the last Oreo.
Trey wakes up feeling better...and he and Charlotte engage in some sexy foreplay just as Bunny bursts into the room with a basket of muffins. She gasps at the sight of Charlotte riding her son and beats a hasty retreat, shaking her head all flustered like and muttering unintelligibly.
Two days after the dish smashing incident, a sheepish looking Maria drops by Samantha's loft with a gift. Samantha wryly jokes that it better be dishes...then opens the box and is delighted to find a strap-on. She mulls over the prospect of one last romp with the volatile lesbian and says, "I guess we could give it a try."
Carrie, Miranda, and Samantha arrive at the opening of Scout. Carrie instructs them to be on the lookout for Aidan...and when Samantha maneuvers around in a weird, robotic looking way, Carrie asks whassup with her stiffness. Samantha explains that she threw her back out while doinking Maria with a strap-on...then says that they broke up 'cause the writers wanted her to get back to her normal regimen of bumping uglies with every man she happens to rub up against in the street. Carrie voice-overs that she suddenly felt a ghostly presence, and then turns around and sees Aidan standing across the bar, looking hot with a more muscular form and a short new 'do. She cocks her head at him coquettishly and mouths hi, and he gives her what looks like a slow head bow...to which she retorts, "That's all I get?" Samantha and Miranda eye him appreciatively and remark on how much better Season 4 Aidan looks compared to the paunchy, scraggly haired mess he was in Season 3. Miranda, meanwhile, runs into Steve and congratulates him on the opening of the bar, and he credits her for being his inspiration and says he never could have done it without her incessant bitching about his lack of ambition - I mean encouragement.
An hour later, Carrie slips out the side door to puff on a cigarette and eat a slice of cake...and she's startled to find Aidan there, smoking a cigar. As she awkwardly balances her a plate, she drops her fork...and Aidan grabs her cake and takes a bite, then saucily asks her if she wants it. She cleverly replies, "I never not wanted it" so he feeds her a piece, which...blech, Aidan. Steve pops his head out the side door to tell Aidan that it's time for their toast, and Aidan tells Carrie it was nice seeing her again, heads toward the door, then turns around and says, "See ya, Carrie." She stares longingly after him and voice-overs that she suddenly felt more haunted than ever 'cause of the non-ghostly, very real feelings she realizes she still has for him.