Recap: Carrie voice-overs about the change of seasons and the crisp air that's starting to blow in through her bedroom window at night. She gets up to fetch an extra blanket and tucks herself back into bed, then decides to give Mr. Big a call. The two...ugh...start up with their annoying repartee, which entails him telling her she sounds like Princess Grace of Monaco, and then admitting that he's a very bad boy 'cause he's smoking a cigarette in bed. Carrie tells him she's feeling lonely and asks if she can stop by for a visit...and when he perks up at the prospect of a late night booty call, she primly clarifies that this will be a fully clothed visit strictly for the purpose of keeping each other company. In the next scene, Carrie arrives at Big's doorstep with a takeout pizza and saucily shrieks, "Get it while it's hot!" ... then enters his apartment and stares around in mute shock when she finds it completely devoid of furniture. Big sheepishly explains that he just bought a vineyard in Napa, where he'll be, uh, moving on Monday afternoon...and Carrie's all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" as her discombobulated brain processes this life-altering news. She asks him what would have happened if she hadn't called him tonight...e.g. would he have quietly left New York without telling her? (That would be my guess.) He assures her he would have called her with the news. Well, eventually. Carrie says he can't possibly leave New York 'cause the Chrysler building is here (?), then nonsensically points out that the building would be all wrong in a vineyard. Big just shrugs and says he's tired of New York, and Carrie wittily retorts, "If you're tired you take a napa, you don't move to Napa" then mumbles about how badly she needs a cocktail. She lowers her keister onto a box...and ends up falling through the center of it, which causes Big to dissolve into a fit of giggles.
Samantha is lounging in Richard's bed, looking irked. When Richard finally arrives home, she snarks at him for being three hours late...and since she had nothing better to do with herself all evening than anxiously await his arrival, she ate half a box of chocolates and threatens to blame him if her over-snacking results in unsightly cellulite. He tells he got held up at the hotel and couldn't get to a phone, and Samantha poutishly says she doesn't appreciate being kept waiting, especially when she has a gift for him. She then presents him with a large wrapped parcel, which turns out to be an abstract painting with three red hearts. Richard seems less than impressed by the gift, but dutifully gives her a thank you smooch. Carrie's browsing through Big's vinyl record collection and comes across a Henry Mancini album. As Big puts the record on his player and forwards the needle to Moon River, Carrie scoffs at how corny Moon River is. Big chides her bitchitude and tells her it's not corny, it's classic, then invites her to dance with him. The two lean in close and look like they're about to inch toward the bedroom and start getting it on...but the spell is abruptly broken when Moon River starts skipping. Carrie calls it a night, thanks Big for the company, and tells him to keep Sunday night open 'cause she'd like to give him a proper New York send-off. During brunch with the gigolas, Carrie sighs about Big's imminent departure and how it's the end of an era. Samantha says she's always surprised when people leave New York and asks, "Where do they go?" and Miranda wryly replies, "The real world." Carrie polls the gals to gauge their feelings about her indulging in some "going-out-of-business" sex with Big, and Miranda promptly barks, "No!" while Samantha pronounces that one-time sex with an ex is downright depressing. Charlotte asks Carrie if she isn't afraid of being pulled into "all that Big stuff" again, and Carrie looks miffed that her friends don't seem to appreciate how drastically she's matured over the last two seasons. She says she now feels safe around Big, and somehow thinks of him as "this great man in my life". Charlotte says it's a shame Big is leaving town 'cause she always figured that he and Carrie would end up together - but Miranda makes a blech face and says she always assumed Aidan was the one. Charlotte shifts the conversation to herself and says she hasn't had sex since her breakup with Trey...and Samantha looks aghast at the length of that dry spell and urges her to get on that asap. Carrie's in her apartment, tapping away on her computer about fate, destiny, and how she "can't help but wonder" what happens to people who unwittingly wander off-course. She types out 'can you make a mistake and miss your fate?' then stares contemplatively into space as if she just stumbled upon one of the secrets of the universe. Charlotte is docenting at the Museum of Modern Art, gabbling about Monet to a small tour group. One of the groupsters, a dork named Eric, chats smittenly with Charlotte and invites her to dinner - but she tells him she's newly separated and not ready to date yet. As she moves on to the scribbly works of Jackson Pollock, she happens to spot Trey and Bunny wandering around the museum. She's all, "Ack!" and urges her tour group to move along quickly to the opposite side of the museum, then hastily tells Eric she'd be delighted to go to dinner with him Miranda and Steve have joined forces to assemble a crib for their soon-to-arrive spawn. She tells him she was thinking of naming the baby Danny, and he nods approvingly and says he definitely likes the sound of that. He tears up while remarking on how touching it is that they're working together to build something for little Danny, and Miranda growls at him for getting emotional in her presence.
Samantha is forcibly smooching Richard, but he swats her away and tells her he's got paperwork to do. She angrily snarks that if he wants out of this wretched relationship he should just say so, then starts railing about how he hasn't hung up the hearts painting she gave him and that at lunch today she saw him get into a cab with a woman wearing "fuck me" heels...much like the kind she and her gigola friends are always tottering around in. Richard tells her that the woman is a business associate, promises to hang the hearts painting soon, and assures her that he doesn't want out of their wretched relationship...but sternly adds, "But if you do, this is a good way to go." Samantha contritely apologizes for her clingy nuttiness and says she totally buys the line he's feeding her. Samantha tells Carrie she's pretty sure that Richard is "plowing someone else" and that she's going to put on a realistic new wig she just bought from the Raquel Welch wig line so she can stalk him, catch him in the act, and cause maximum humiliation for everyone involved. Carrie spots an overly fussy looking pair of designer pink stilettos being showcased in a store window, gasps in wonderment at their ruffley ornateness, and coos, "Hello lover." She tells Samantha she's going to need to blow her money on those fugly things for her Big night on the town. So much for her commitment to stop throwing money away on frivolous shit so she can repay her 30K mortgage downpayment loan to Charlotte. Charlotte is on a dinner date with Eric, and the two exchange boring chit-chat about their exes, blah blah. After dinner, she brings him over to her apartment...and when he sees the luxurious MacDougal pad, he's all, "Whoa!" and asks if her ex-husband was a king. He tells her he lives in a shitty studio, then natters miserably to himself about how he can never find a woman who's in his low economic bracket. A dismayed Charlotte tells him she's not feeling well and that he should leave asap. Carrie tells Miranda she's officially given herself permission to doink Big before he jets off to California. When Miranda's spawn suddenly gives her a good swift kick from inside the womb, she tells Carrie she's plenty freaked about giving birth, and that she'd like her to be in the delivery room to keep her company and also to prevent anyone from getting overly emotional or too cheerleadery. On Sunday night, Carrie and Big are enjoying a hansom cab ride through Central Park...and when he complains about it being corny, she grinningly tells him it's classic. She asks him if he's going to miss New York, and he's like, "Nah" - but then throws her a bone and claims he'll definitely miss her. The two lean in and lock lips - just as Carrie's cell phone (that Miranda gave to her in the event that she unexpectedly goes into labor this episode) starts ringing. And sure enough, it's Miranda calling to tell her she's in labor and on her way to Mount Sinai Hospital. Big offers a wad of cash to the hansom cab driver to quickly trot his horse over to 101st Street. When they arrive at the hospital, Carrie tells Big they can still get together for one last romp before his flight, and the two agree to meet at 2pm tomorrow. After Carrie climbs out of the carriage, Big calls out her name...and she turns around and stares back at him with a nauseatingly smug look on her face that seems to radiate: my delicate beauty is so utterly mesmerizing that clearly this man could not keep himself from gazing at my ethereal loveliness one last time. Big just gives her an inscrutable wink...and then a few seconds later, the hansom cab horse starts to trot off. Carrie whirls around and skips toward the hospital in her stupid pink shoes.
Miranda is pacing her hospital room, desperately trying to get her water to break. When Carrie breezes in, Miranda wanks her by moaning, "You look pretttttty" ... and then a few minutes breaks her water all over Carrie's pink stilettos. Bwahahaha! While Miranda undergoes labor, Samantha puts on her short brown Rachel Welch wig, a pair of dark sunglasses, and follows Richard as he leaves the office and gets into a cab. Samantha hops into the cab behind his orders the driver to follow him...and she ends up at Richard's apartment, where she promptly catches him going down on a pretty young brunette. Samantha bursts into the bedroom and shrieks, "You bastard!" ... and when Richard realizes who the hell she is once she's taken off her sunglasses, he sheepishly says, "It's just sex" and insists that he loves her. Samantha picks up the hearts painting he still hasn't hung up yet, then smashes it onto the floor and cries, "Now your heart's broken too!" and storms out of the apartment, sobbing. Seems like an exaggerated overreaction for someone who spent Seasons 1-3 scoffing at the very notion of a monogamous relationship. Miranda clutches Carrie's hand as she makes one final push to bring her spawn into the world. An emotional Steve hands the baby to Carrie, who then hands him to Miranda...and she stares down at the tiny tot in wonderment and murmurs, "It's weird...like there's suddenly a giraffe in the room." When Steve starts referring to him as Danny, Miranda tells him she's decided she'd rather name him Brady...I guess, as in Brady Hobbes. I'll assume they keep his surname Hobbes even after Miranda marries Steve, 'cause otherwise he'd be saddled with the name Brady Brady. Carrie rushes toward the hospital exit, hopeful that there's still a window of opportunity for her and Big to hook up. She finds Charlotte sitting in the waiting room and gives her a quick update...and a few seconds later Samantha arrives, still donning her short haired wig. When Carrie reports that Miranda just delivered her son, Samantha bitterly snarks about the crappiness of another male coming into the world...and Carrie's like, "OK, whatever" and points at Charlotte and tells her she'll give her more of a detailed update about Baby Hobbes. If she actually gives a rat's ass, that is. When Carrie arrives at Big's apartment - and is somehow able to let herself into the building as well as his unit - she finds it empty, save for the Henry Mancini record. On it, Big left a note attached that reads 'if you ever feel lonely' ... and when Carrie picks up an accompanying envelop, she's delighted to see that it contains a round trip plane ticket to California and a note that reads 'if I ever feel lonely'. Carrie ambles down a city street, spacily gazing up at the falling leaves. She bends down and picks one up, stares at it as if she's never experienced autumn before, then voice-overs about how a new season had begun. She then yammers about how people's mistakes determine their fate, and that people come and go into your life, blah blah, and that the ones you love are always in your heart. Or a plane ride away. Farewell, Season 4. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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