Melrose Place - Season 1, Episode 24

Alison's carjacking is much scarier as a black and white flashback

"Bye Bye Billy"
Original airdate: 2/17/1993

Episode summary: Alison is traumatized after being carjacked at gunpoint. Amanda invites Billy to move in with her. Rhonda is dismayed when she learns that her former deranged roommate is Terrence's interior decorator.

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Recap: The morning post-doink, Amanda brings Billy breakfast in bed...and he's all "Mmm.." at the thoughtful gesture and gives her a big smooch. A few seconds later, Amanda's father phones to tell her he's in town and wants to get together for dinner tonight, and Amanda offers to cook him dinner at her place and says it'd be a fine opportunity for him to meet Billy. When she hangs up, Billy's like, "No can do" 'cause he has plans to see a play with Alison tonight - but Amanda lets out a derisive snort and says that now that Alison has re-hooked up with Keith, she can take him to the play instead.

Keith and Alison are driving to the beach in his red Mustang convertible, and he tells her how badly he wants to pick up their relationship where they left off. Alison says it's not that easy 'cause she doesn't fully trust him yet and would prefer to stick to friendship. Keith pretends he's A-OK with that and says he doesn't want to put any pressure on her.

Jo arrives at Jake's new bike shop to deliver a lunch of pizza and beer. She looks around at all the progress Jake has made and excitedly chirps, "We're going to open on time!" then suggests they put their heads together and come up with some sort of business plan. Jake flinches at her use of we and the task of formulating a business plan and wryly reminds her that she agreed to be a silent partner. Jo argues that, silent or not, she still has to protect her investment, and also points out that he can't possibly do everything himself. She suggests he at least look into hiring a bookkeeper, and he gruntishly promises to consider it.

Alison admonishes Billy over the phone for bailing on her for tonight's play, and tells him she can't bring Keith 'cause he has an important business dinner scheduled. Billy says he really really needs to dine at Amanda's tonight to see whether or not he'll pass muster with her father [spoiler: not], and Alison mulls that over and decides she's fine with attending the play by herself. After she ends the call, Keith offers to loan her his Mustang to drive to the theater...I'm guessing 'cause her car Betsy isn't operational these days.

Papa Woodward gabbles at Billy about his love of neat scotch, and Billy just shrugs and says he likes beer, the preferred alcoholic beverage among minimum wage earning cab drivers such as himself. A dismayed Papa Woodward lumbers over to the kitchen where Amanda is preparing dinner...and when she asks him if he finds Billy as witty, amusing, and all around awesome as she somehow does, he's like, "Fuuuuuuck no" and says he'd be shocked as shit if her relationship with the bonehead extends past Season 1.

"Isn't Billy the most intelligent, wonderful, talented young man you've ever met?"

"He's the vapidest fuckwit I've ever seen."

After the play, Alison walks to the gritty looking side street she stupidly parked Keith's car on. Two shady guys who have been lurking several feet away suddenly run over, point a gun at her, and demand the keys to the Mustang. She's all, "Wha-a-a-a-a-a?" and tosses her purse at them...and after they squeal off, she dramatically clutches the nearby chain link fence and wails, "Oooooooh God!"

After the commercial break, Alison huddles in her bed and whimpers to Keith about how terrified she was that the carjackers were going to kill her. She asks him to huddle under the covers with her, so he climbs into her tiny bed and tightly spoons her from behind.

Billy returns to the apartment the next morning and is all, "Wha-a-a-a-a?" when Alison tells him she got carjacked last night after the play. He scrunches his face concernedly and says he wants to hear all the gory details, but Alison snarkishly says she left him a bunch of hysterical messages on their answering machine soon after the carjacking, then stomps out with Keith. It remains unclear why she'd leave messages on her own answering machine instead of calling Billy at Amanda's, where she knew he'd be.

Terrence tells Rhonda he bought the ritzy house in the suburbs they looked at during the Picture Imperfect episode and wants her to consult with the decorator he hired to ensure that her design choices are tasteful.

Alison is at D&D, doing her best to focus on her work - but she's unable to get the image of the carjackers out of her head and has scary looking black and white flashbacks. She's startled when a concerned Amanda taps her on the shoulder and asks her if she's OK, and she's like, "Not really" and says she's going home for the rest of the day.

Rhonda arrives at the ritzy suburban house and learns that Terrence's decorator is Carrie Fellows, aka her deranged roommate from the Drawing the Line episode. Carrie tells Rhonda she upgraded herself from closet organizer to interior decorator, and is not nearly as high-strung as she used to be...then waxes on about how super amazing she finds Terrence to be.

Billy tells Amanda he feels guilty for making Alison go to the play by herself and grumbles about Keith swooping in like a white knight. An irked Amanda reminds him he's not Alison's boyfriend, and Billy's like, "Whatever, I still feel guilty for not being there that night", and Amanda stares back at him in dismay.

Alison heads down to Melrose Place's laundry room dungeon, which is darker and spookier than usual 'cause the light bulb is newly burned out. As she creeps down the dark stairwell and has more of the scary black and white flashbacks of the carjacking, Keith startles her by appearing out of nowhere, grabbing her by the shoulders and going "Boooooo!" before asking er whaddup with her being in this dark stairwell by herself. She clings to him fearfully and cries about how skeered she is, so he suggests they blow this shitty apartment complex and head for the safety and comfort of his beach house.

Alison and Keith sit by the fire at his beach house. Alison coos at him about how safe she feels here, and the two start kissing and going at it. The next morning, they walk along the beach, hand in hand, and Alison natters about how fearful she continues to be. She asks Keith if he'd like to move in with her since Billy's never around, and he beams happily and says he'd loooooove to replace the bonehead as her domestic co-inhabitant.

Carrie gushes to Terrance about how great his new house is and discusses what her approach to decorating will be: a manly form of chintz complimented by dark colors. When Rhonda expresses her doubts that Terrence will respond positively to chintz, Terrence says he's open to exploring his softer side.

"I have one word for you: chintz."

"And I have two words for you..."

Amanda brings Billy to a local park to stare at her favorite art piece: a naked woman statue. As she waxes on about the statue's sublime simplicity, Billy stares back at her blankly and mutters, "It's great." When Amanda asks why he's so distracted, he admits to still being worried about Alison and that he really really wants to check in on her. An exasperated Amanda chides him for not wanting to focus on the person standing in front of him who loves him, then guilts him by revealing that she argued with her father over him. Billy promises to swing by her place after making sure that Alison's OK, but she snappishly tells him not to bother until he's absolutely sure about what he wants.

When Alison tells Jo about the carjacking, Jo says she has a solution for feeling safer...and in the next scene, she's demonstrating her handgun firing abilities at a local gun range. Alison gets wigged out by all the gunfire and tells Jo she's horrified to learn that she owns a handgun, and that she'd rather move back to Podunksville, WI than be armed in Los Angeles.

That evening, Keith informs Alison that he just got a job offer in Seattle from the guys he had the business dinner with the other night and says it'd be awesome if she moved there with him. Alison stares at him incredulously and says she has a life here and can't just pick up and move - but Keith reminds her that Washington State has plenty of dead-end advertising jobs and shitty apartment complexes she could laterally transfer herself over to.

At the bike shop, Jo tells Jake that Alison nearly lost it when she took her to a gun range to show her how well she can fire her handgun, and Jake is all, "Wha-a-a-a-a?! You have a gun?!" He tells her he's been traumatized by the idea of gun ownership ever since a friend of his died from getting accidentally shot, and Jo sarcastically thanks him for the lecture before storming out of the shop.

Billy tells Alison he's very sorry about the carjacking and doesn't want her to be mad at him for bailing on her the night of the play. Alison rails about all the emotional turmoil she's suffered and how badly she needed a friend, a role that Keith has fulfilled with aplomb. Billy bitchily reminds her that he was there for her when Keith broke her heart, and she reacts by storming off to her bedroom...while Keith smirks at him and smugly says, "Night, pal."

Rhonda tells Matt she's dismayed by how much Terrence seems to like Carrie, and a bored Matt's like, "Stop bitching to me and do something about it."

Billy drops by Amanda's apartment as she's getting dressed for work and admits he was "stuck in the past", but now knows he doesn't belong at Melrose Place any longer. Amanda perks up at that and says he definitely belongs in her apartment and invites him to move in asap. Billy says he likes the sound of that, and the two start going at it atop her couch.

"I finally realized that a bonehead like me would be lucky if a hottie such as yourself even glanced in my general direction."

"Duh."

Rhonda confronts Carrie by telling her she's coming on too strong and warns her to stay away from her man. An unfazed Carrie points out that she's merely been communicating with her client, who just happens to be a single, special, very rich dude.

Jo drops by the bike shop to deliver a gift and to admit to Jake that he was right about gun ownership, and that she got rid of her handgun. Jake, in turn, admits to being bullheaded about his new business and says he now wants her to be the shop's bookkeeper. Jo accepts the job, then unveils the gift she bought him before plugging it in: a tacky Jake's Bikes sign constructed of fluorescent tube lighting. Jake looks touched, calls the new venture "a dream come true", and gives her a smooch.

Billy breaks the news to Alison that he's moving in with Amanda, and she digests that latest development before apologizing for her bitchitude last night. They concur that ending their roommate situation is sad for both of them, but mutually agree to part ways as friends.

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