Recap: Keith finds Alison standing on his deck and staring contemplatively out at the ocean. When he asks her whassup, she tells him that this whole affair-with-a married-man storyline feels very complicated and messy, then tears up and says she never thought she'd fall in love with someone who would actually love her back. Keith assures her that he really really does love her, then gives her a from-behind canoodle.
Alison returns to her Melrose apartment and smilingly tells Billy that her breakup with Keith got unexpectedly derailed when he informed her that he's leaving his wife. As Billy shoots her a skeptical glare, she waxes on about how kewl and super awesome Keith is in bed...and Billy's like, "Ew" and calls her adulterous hookup dysfunctional, and Alison snaps back that he's only saying that 'cause of how jaded and cynical he is. Even though Billy doesn't actually have the brainpower to register anything more than a shallow level of vapidity.
A tightly wound weirdo named Carrie Fellows answers Rhonda's ad for a roommate. She hands Rhonda her resume and references and tells her she doesn't smoke, have a boyfriend or any pets...and that she enjoys cooking and has a steady job as an OP (organizational professional). Rhonda ignores her abnormally tight woundedness and decides she'd be the perfect roommate, and excitedly asks, "How soon can you move in?" before chuckling about the parade of losers she's been subjected to ever since placing the ad.
Matt meets with a lawyer and tells her he got fired from a halfway house for being gay. The lawyer asks him how far he's willing to take this lawsuit, then warns him that things can get ugly, and that his privacy will almost certainly get invaded. Matt assures her he can handle all that, but tells her he's kinda short on cash. She breezily says it's no problem to put her fees on hold temporarily, but that her firm requires all clients to pay a minimum of 5K up front.
Billy is ranting to Jane and Michael about how Alison is in the process of breaking up a marriage, and Jane shakes her head all judgey-like and says she's appalled at the home-wrecker for continuing with the relationship. Michael, who clearly couldn't give much of a rat's ass about Alison's sexploits, shrugs disinterestedly and says that love can change people, and tells Jane she's over-dramatizing. And that he hopes she'll take his future cheating with Dr. Kimberly Shaw much more in stride than she's taking the Alison-Keith Situation.
Matt starts his new job, waiting tables at Bikini Burger. He finds Jake sitting at one of the tables and bellyaches to him about being so desperate for the 5K payment for his lawyer that he's thinking of hitting up his gay unfriendly parents for a loan.
On a rainy evening, Jane runs into Alison in front of the mailboxes and bitchily congratulates her on her exciting relationship news. Alison tells her she doesn't sound very sincere, so Jane snaps, "Sorry, what do you want me to say?" and Alison says she could try being happy for her...but then invites her to express what she really thinks. Jane says she's irked by the way she's talking about Keith's wife, as if she's the other woman, a pesky obstacle in her way. Alison's like, "Well duh" and chides Jane for being so unsupportive and wonders aloud if it's 'cause she's so insecure about her own marriage - ouch - and Jane snarls, "What goes around comes around."
Billy suggests to Alison that they order takeout for dinner, but she declines and says she has plans with Keith. A few seconds later, Keith calls to tell her he can't get together tonight and that he'll call her tomorrow...and in the background we see that his wife Lily is milling around behind him.
Billy tells Alison he finds it highly suspicious that Keith cancelled their plans so abruptly...and a few seconds later, Keith knocks on the apartment door, soaking wet from the rain. He explains that his estranged wife Lily showed up at his beach house unannounced, implored him to not end their marriage this way, then got angry and kicked him out of his own house. Alison invites him to crash at the apartment, and he's like, "Kewl!" and makes a beeline over to the bathroom to get out of his wet clothes and take a shower. Billy's like, "The fuck?" and tells Alison he'd rather that Keith didn't stay over, but she assures him that this is only a temporary situation.
As Keith showers, Alison snoops through his wallet and finds a photo of him and Lily smiling into the camera. She hurriedly puts it back when she hears Keith finish his shower...and he enters her bedroom clad in nothing but a towel and leans toward her for an intense looking smooch.
Matt is having a tense looking dinner with his parents. Papa Fielding tells Matt he'd consider it a blessing to get fired from the halfway house 'cause of the shitty pay he was getting while also having to go to a halfway house every day...and Matt's like, "Um, speaking of having no money" and says he was hoping they'd lend him 5K so he can file a lawsuit against the halfway house director, who terminated him for being gay. Papa Fielding makes a sneering noise and says the firing doesn't surprise him in the least, and chides Matt for bringing it onto himself by choosing "the gay lifestyle". He advises Matt to forget about the lawsuit, not least 'cause the world doesn't give a damn about him and his cause - but Matt says he's determined to forge ahead, with or without his financial help, sarcastically thanks them both for their support, and storms out of the house.
Alison has a dream that Lily Gray makes a surprise appearance atop her bed and tells her she had no idea that her marriage to Keith was over, and explains that she's been spending the last several months working Washington D.C. Alison tells her that Keith considers the marriage dead - but Lily argues that all relationships go through cycles, and that if her marriage dies it's 'cause she (Alison) destroyed it. Alison wakes with a start and looks very freaked out.
The next morning, Rhonda notices that her weird new roommate has rearranged the contents of the kitchen cabinets so that they're now in alphabetical order. Consider a red flag officially raised, Rhonda.
Keith suggests to Alison that they go camping for the rest of the weekend, and she happily agrees. When Keith leaves to gather up his camping gear, Billy - who, for some reason, is wearing a pair of overalls with no shirt underneath but a flannel shirt over top - scoffs at the idea of Alison roughing it and reminds her how much she hates camping. Alison tells him about the Lily dream she just had and that it made her feel guilty for dating her husband...and that she feels the need to weakly attempt a face-to-face interaction with the woman.
Alison parks across the street from Keith's beach house and watches Lily as she emerges from the house to pick up the newspaper. Lily notices her staring at her from her car and starts walking over to see whassup with the creepy idiot, and Alison's all, "Ack!" as she puts her car into gear and squeals off.
Alison runs into Jane in the laundry room and natters at her about her weekend plans to camp with Keith, and Jane retorts by snarling at her to maybe leave her merit badges at home. She adds that she can't bring herself to even pretend to like what she's doing, and admonishes her for not bailing out of the relationship the minute she learned Keith was married. That said, she apologizes for her sanctimonious judgeyness 'cause, at the end of the day, she doesn't want any of this to ruin their friendship.
Matt hands his lawyer the pink slip for his car and says that despite how broke he currently is, this discrimination lawsuit is really really important to him in setting a precedent for other gay people who might be in danger of losing their jobs. His lawyer gives him back the pink slip and tells him he'll probably need his car, then says that since fighting for the civil rights of gay men and woman is "media brush fire", she's willing to take the case pro bono and keep her fingers crossed that it helps her make a name for herself.
Rhonda discovers that her deranged new roommate has emptied her clothes closet and shipped the contents off to a dry cleaner. Rhonda somehow gets only mildly annoyed at what I'd consider a major inconvenience and tells her to stop being so tidy with her stuff...and Carrie smilingly says she was only trying to be helpful, but agrees that she could probably use some easing up.
While canoodling by the campfire, Keith tells Alison he'd like her to 1) give up her Melrose Place apartment and move in with him, or 2) kick Billy out and find someone else to split the rent with until this "business" with his estranged wife is settled. He tells her his parents are going to be saddened by the divorce, not least 'cause they've been happily married for many years...and when he asks Alison about her parents, she gets all evasive and says they're too ordinary to even talk about, then stares despondently into space.
The next morning, Alison tells Keith she's not feeling well and needs to go home asap.
Rhonda cooks Carrie a delicious breakfast [I guess as a treat for raiding her closet without permission] and tells her she'll also be doing the cleanup of the dishes and frying pan. Carrie stares anxiously at the frying pan and reminds Rhonda that she needs to soak it, then pretends to shake it off and look relaxed enough to enjoy her breakfast.
Alison whines to Billy about how her relationship with Keith is all so confusing and wrong. She goes on to explain that when Keith asked her about her parents, she clammed up to avoid talking about it 'cause she didn't want to admit that her parents had a sucky marriage 'cause of all the cheating her dad regularly did. She says she'd obsess about her dad's girlfriends 'cause of all the love and attention they got from him...and that she hated them while also envying and wanting to be them. However, now that she's a married man's girlfriend, she realizes what a shitty thing it is to be in that role. Billy stares back at her in mute horror as the circuits in his tiny brain work overtime to process Alison's quasi-incestuous confession.
Alison drops by Keith's beach house and says, "We need to talk" ... then quickly says she can no longer see him. Keith's like, "I'm leaving my wife. What more do you want?!", so Alison explains that she needs to feel "right" with herself...and that even though she doesn't want to be without him, being with him also scares her. Keith tells her that, regardless of what she decides, he and Lily are dunzo...but Alison firmly says she's still moving ahead with the breakup and starts wandering off. Keith grabs her by the arm and asks her if she's playing some kind of game, then yells at her for being selfish and dickishly says that if she blows it with him, she won't be able to make a relationship work with anyone. She snaps back, "At least I can live with myself", then breaks into a run.
Carrie wakes Rhonda and shoves the frying pan in her face and snarls, "You missed a spot!" and points at the tiny stain of burned egg that she would have been able to scrape off if she (Rhonda) had soaked the damn thing like she had suggested. When she cries, "Slob!", a wigged out Rhonda tells her that clearly this roommate arrangement isn't going to work, and Carrie perks up at that and says she'll pack up her things after she meticulously scours her frying pan. So long, Carrie!
Alison returns to her apartment, shoots Billy a hangdog look, and says, "Fire up the hot chocolate." She tears up and tells him that breaking up with Keith was the hardest thing she's ever done - but insists that the relationship is definitely, absolutely, for sure over. (Um, nope.) As she breaks into a sob, Billy rushes over and gives her a comforting hug.
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