Melrose Place - Season 1, Episode 21

"I heard your dull-as-fuck prime time soap needed an it girl, so here I am!"

"Picture Imperfect"
Original airdate: 1/27/1993

Episode summary: Alison risks her new job as Account Executive when she shows clients nudie pics Jo took of an underwear model. Rhonda decides her engagement with Terrence is moving too fast and ends the relationship.

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Recap: Lucy summons Alison to her office to inform her that D&D just fired a low performing flunky, and that the brass agreed to promote her to the position of Account Executive. As Alison is all, "Yippee!!", Lucy says her first order of business will be to find a photographer to snaps some pics of tennis sensation Rex Weldon for an underwear ad campaign...then adds that she'll be working closely with Amanda Woodward, the art director on the account. And to that I say: hurray for the long awaited arrival of Heather Locklear!!! A few seconds later, Amanda sashays into the room, greets Alison, and is instructed by Lucy to fill Alison in on the details of the underwear account. As a giddy Alison continues to be all, "Yippee!!" Lucy sternly warns, "Just don't let me down" ... which we can take as a huge clue that Alison will soon do something to let Lucy down.

Amanda shows Alison to her fancy new cubicle, then gives her the low down on Rex Weldon: he's adorable (sorta), but try not to gush at him too much. She also cautions Alison against getting romantically involved with a client, 'cause when the relationship inevitably goes kaput, so does the account. In fact, according to the D&D rumor mill, it's one of the reasons her predecessor got fired.

That evening at Shooters, the Melrose gang toasts Alison's promotion. Billy says he's worried that since Alison is now earning the big bucks she won't need a roommate anymore, but Alison chuckles and says her promotion only amounts to an extra $50 a month. A few seconds later, Michael invites Billy to shoot some pool and says he'd like to set him up on a blind date with a lovely nurse named Lydia Perkins who works with him at the hospital. Billy makes a blech face at the idea of going out on a blind date, but Michael assures him that Lydia is a perfect match for him. 

Back at the Melrose Place complex, Alison looks over Jo's photography book, says she loooooves her dramatic style, and offers to show it to her colleagues at D&D to see if they'd be interested in hiring her. Jo thanks her for the opportunity to get a future gig.

The next day at D&D, Amanda and Lucy look over Jo's book and gush about how dynamic, sexy, and stylish her work is. Lucy asks Alison to give Jo a call pronto and book her for an interview this afternoon. 

Terrence and Rhonda are at his restaurant, taste-testing wedding pastry. Terrence says he'd like to hire his pastry chef to make their wedding cake, but a poutish looking Rhonda says she was planning to let her mother take care of all the cake baking. Terrence points out that there are going to be at least two hundred guests at their reception, then asks if they really want their parents "running the show". He says he'd prefer the wedding be about them, not what their parents want them to be, and an increasingly dismayed looking Rhonda mumbles, "Yeah, OK, whatever.."

"I want a small wedding and for my mom to bake a snackin' cake."

"And I want the wedding to be all about what we want...and by we, I mean me."

Lucy introduces Rex Weldon to Alison and Amanda, and as Lucy confers with the head of the underwear company, Rex pulls Alison aside and flirtily implores her to take him somewhere "happening" tonight.

Alison takes Rex to Shooters, and he smarmily gushes about how beautiful she is and how she should be the underwear model...or at least offer to pose in her underwear along with him. Alison's like, "Check please!" and tells him she's determined to keep their relationship professional, and needs to rush home asap so she can worriedly wring her hands about tomorrow's shoot.

Alison tells Billy she regrets turning down a possible romp with Rex Weldon and doubts she'll ever have the chance to rub up against such a famous, hot celebrity again...even though he's a fairly mediocre looking dude with, from what I can tell so far, not much in the personality department. Billy reminds her that she was right to exercise that kind of willpower, 'cause why risk blowing her first big chance at being an account executive for an impromptu roll in the hay? He then says he's off to meet his blind date, which he's not particularly excited about.

Lydia Perkins turns out to be a fairly homely looking nurse with short brown curly hair...and when Billy shows up at her door, she looks less than thrilled by his disheveled boneheadedness. In the next scene, the two are at a restaurant, engaging in banal chitchat over dinner. They agree that blind dates - like this one, for example - are horrendous and awkward, especially when the two people involved have no shared interests and zero chemistry. 

The next morning, Alison natters to Billy about how stressed she is about today's photo shoot and that she feels in over her head. Billy urges her to chillax...but when he hears that Jo is the photographer D&D hired, he makes a face and goes, "Holy shit...you should be stressed. She's a difficult, horrible person who's definitely going to cause problems." LOL. He then changes the subject to his blind date, which sucked 'cause of no spark between them...but for some reason he promised Lydia he'd call. Alison says he's a jerk for making that promise and says if he had a scrap of integrity he'd keep his word and call her.

Photo shoot! Jo snaps photos of Rex in his underwear as she enthusiastically blurts out things like, "That's right, baby!", "Ooh yeah!", and "That's it!" ... and Lucy, Amanda, and Alison look on from a few feet away and are all, "Awesome! This is going so much better than expected!" After a few more minutes of this shlock, Lucy says it looks like they got all the shots need to pitch the client and heads out with Amanda. Jo pulls Alison aside and tells her she considers the photos she just took "pretty standard stuff", then smiles devilishly and asks her if she has any interest in opening her mind to risk doing something "new and fresh". Alison looks intrigued by the concept of new and fresh and gives that vague suggestion the green light...and once she's out of hearing range, Jo eyes Rex's nearly nude body and sassily orders him to "lose the briefs". Rex smiles back at her in amused bewilderment despite being totally down with posing for the camera in his birthday suit.

"What's an underwear campaign without a man slipping out of his underwear?"

"You make an excellent point."

At Shooters, Billy grumbles to Jake about getting himself trapped into another dinner date with Lydia, who he's pretty sure has no attraction to him either. Jo, meanwhile, makes an entrance with Rex and laughingly promises to make his butt famous. He smarmily assures her it already is and makes it clear he'd be totes into a meaningless romp with her - but she rebuffs him, then rushes over to an irked looking Jake to assure him she's just having a drink with her latest photography subject. He scowls at her and snaps, "It's tough to watch" and stalks out of the bar.

Alison is shocked when Billy tells her that Jo is at Shooters, yukking it up with Rex, and haughtily snarks that Jo should be at home right now, developing the photos from the shoot. When Jo and Rex stagger into the Melrose Place courtyard a few seconds later, Alison demands to see the proofs tonight - but Jo just rolls her eyes and says she'll get them first thing tomorrow, then bids Rex good night.

The next morning, Alison chides Jo for going out with Rex, and tells her she has a lot riding on these photos and that it's her ass if the client doesn't love them. Jo points out that this gig is important to her too, and assures her that nothing happened with Rex, who turned out to be a giant bore. She bitchily tells Alison she doesn't like to follow anyone's rules, then brusquely says she'll messenger the slides over to D&D sometime this afternoon.

Terrence shows Rhonda a ritzy, vacant house in the suburbs and tells her he'd really like to buy it for them. Rhonda looks weirded out by the prospect and says it's so big for just two people...and when he points out that they'll grow into it once they start a family, she looks even more weirded out. He glances around and gushes about how in love he is with the gorgeous property, but Rhonda just shrugs disinterestedly and says, "It's nice" ... and of course her lackluster reaction to the house goes completely unnoticed by Terrence.

When Jo's slides arrive at D&D, Alison takes a quick look and is shocked that they're all shots of Rex butt naked. Amanda perks up at that and is all, "Really? Butt naked?" and checks out a few for herself, while Alison grits her teeth and mutters, "I'm going to kill her" before storming off to confront Jo at her apartment.

"OMG! Every slide is soft porn!"

"Give 'em here...I'm going to need to verify that first hand."

Jo explains to Alison that she made a professional judgement that, for some reason, entailed her sending only the naked pics to D&D 'cause she figured they're the most fresh, original photos from the shoot. Alison gives her a seriously? glare and reminds her that D&D's client is selling underwear, and that they expect to see the product in the ad campaign photos. She whines, "This is my jobbbbbb!" and demands the non-naked, more traditional photos she took, and Jo hands them over while disdainfully muttering, "They're soooooo traditional" - unlike the naked pics, which she feels are more dramatic and exhibit a sense of humor. Alison agrees that, yep, the naked pics are far sexier - but not at all what the client asked for. Jo shrugs and tells her she's free to use the non-naked set of photos, and Alison refrains from asking her why in the hell she didn't include those in the D&D delivery in the first place.

Billy and Lydia are sticking it out during boring date #2: dinner at her apartment. They both acknowledge the complete and utter lack of chemistry between them, and Lydia takes it one step further and says she's into more substantial men who have gainful employment. Bwahaha! Billy dickishly retorts, "Well you're not my type either!" and they both agree that the only reason they got together a second time was 'cause they didn't want to insult Matchmaker Michael. With that settled, Lydia brings out the dessert...and when Billy sees it's a vanilla eclair and not chocolate cake (his fave), he decides it's definitely time to call it a night.

"I don't usually go for the underemployed, boneheaded type."

"I hear that a lot."

Rhonda runs into Matt in the laundry room and tells him about the luxury house Terrence wants to buy for them, then complains that she's not quite ready to settle down to a boring life in the boring 'burbs. Matt urges her to tell this to Terrence, then asks her if she really truly loves the guy...and Rhonda natters incoherently before concluding that, nope, she's not 100% sure 'bout that.

Alison is studying the slides of Jo's naked pics and tells Billy she's contemplating showing them to the client as an alternative to the more traditional shots, and Billy shrugs disinterestedly and breezily says she'll figure it out.

Amanda tells Alison she's out of her damn mind if she's seriously considering showing the naked pics to the client. Alison wails, "But they're so cutting edgggggge!" - but Amanda warns her it's far too risky, is pretty sure the client will hate the idea of serving up something resembling soft porn to its underwear customers, and advises her to "play it smart".

At the client meeting, Alison, Lucy, and Amanda are in the room with the two heads of the underwear company, viewing Jo's [non-naked] slides on a projection screen...and the men are jazzed by Jo's work and call the traditional shots great and terrific. When Lucy asks Alison if there's anything more to show, she decides 'ah what the hell, I'm going for it' and says she has a few more...then extends the slide show to include the naked pics. The clients immediately look appalled and are all, "What the hell is this? He's butt naked!" - LOL - and a mortified Lucy pulls the plug on the demo, then chuckles nervously and says, "Just a little stab at humor!" before urging them to refocus on the approved, clothed shots. She grits her teeth as she asks Alison to stick around, and Amanda shakes her head in dismay at her and makes a slicing knife motion at her neck.

Rhonda and Terrence are in a wedding shop, looking over the various options for wedding invitations. When Terrence muses about how he favors fancy white paper scented with lavender, Rhonda blurts out, "I'm not ready to get married!", says that their four episode romance has been waaaaay too much of a whirlwind, and that she's pretty sure he's only in love with the person he wants her to be instead of the dullard she is. She hands him her engagement ring, says, "Thanks for everything", and scurries out of the store, leaving Terrence staring after her in stunned bewilderment.

Jo apologizes to Alison for getting her in trouble over showing the clients the naked pics - but Alison assures her it's all good 'cause apparently Lucy thought it demonstrated courage and imagination on her part - but warned that if she ever pulls a stunt like that again she'll be fired immediately.

Jo drops by Jake's place with a bag full of Chinese takeout, and he pouts and complains about the way she keeps "barging" in and out of his life. Jo assures him she totally digs him, and explains that her first instinct when dating a new guy is always to run away. She adds that she's not the slightest bit interested in Rex Weldon, and Jake perks up at that and gives her an intense smooch.

Amanda stops by Alison's apartment to drop off a file for their new account and is greeted by Billy, who tells her that Alison isn't home at the moment. He makes a quick note of Amanda's extreme hotness and invites her out for a drink and/or dinner...and Amanda chuckles knowingly and says she has too much work to do this evening, but will take a rain check. Billy stares at her dreamily and murmurs, "Yeah, any time.." and Amanda shoots him a flirty grin and gaily flounces off. 

"Hi. I'm your show's gorgeous new it girl."

"Hi. I'm nowhere near being in your league."

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