Dallas - Season 4, Episode 22
Recap: Sue Ellen is in the nursery getting Baby John dressed...and tells JR, who's hovering in the doorway, that she has zero desire to discuss his/Kristin's out-of-wedlock spawn. JR says that wasn't what he wanted to discuss with her - but when she snaps, "Not now!", he sheepishly shuffles off.
Pam leaves the doctor's office with Rebecca in tow, and the two are sad that it's been officially confirmed that Pam is physically unable to have children.
Mitch is sulking on the couch while Lucy packs for a modelling gig in Houston. She explains that she's been summoned to Alex Ward's publication headquarters for an important photo shoot - but that she'll decline to attend if he (Mitch) orders her to cancel. Mitch poutishly tells her she's going to have to decide for herself if she has any interest in indulging his Neanderthal attitude about women being allowed to enter the workforce and earn more money than their husbands, so she mutters, "I'm sorry" and exits the condo with her luggage.
Dave Stratton tells Cliff he has access to a treasure trove of documents that can prove JR financed the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Cliff says he's definitely intrigued by the prospect of nailing JR for a serious crime, but is worried because his boss (Bobby) is less than likely to urge the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry to investigate the matter. Dave incentivizes Cliff to find a way around that barrier by telling him that Westar Oil has a lot of influence with the Texas senate and that he's pretty sure Jeremy Wendell will show a deep level of gratitude to whoever helps bring JR to his knees.
Sue Ellen tells Pam that last night she and JR re-connected for a nano-second prior to Kristin spoiling the mood when she telephoned with her baby news. Sue Ellen says that if it weren't for her all encompassing love for Baby John, she would have walked out on JR last night...and Pam's all, "Yeesh" and says that she, on the other hand, finds comfort in having a loving spouse like Bobby.
Leslie is lunching with Jeremy Wendell, who's not-so-subtly trying to extract whatever intel she might have on JR's connection to the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Leslie firmly says she can't disclose anything from conversations she's had with her other clients, then politely thanks him for lunch and excuses herself so she can make her next appointment.
At the Cattlemen's Club, Ray looks visibly uncomfortable during his meeting with Punk Anderson et. al. to discuss the Lubbock housing deal. Donna briefly interrupts to let Ray know that she's off to D.C. to do some stuff for Dave Culver, and Ray says he's A-OK with that and gives her a goodbye smooch.
That evening at Southfork, Bobby sorts through the mail and is delighted to find a postcard from Luke Middens of The Lost Child episode, who apparently would loooove to get reacquainted by dropping in at Southfork for a visit sometime. When Bobby relays this fun news to Pam, she gets visibly upset, mumbles that she has work to do, and hastily exits the sitting room.
JR tells his lawyer, Lincoln Hargrove, that he has no interest in attending marriage counselling sessions and wants to proceed with divorcing Sue Ellen and getting sole custody of Baby John. Hargrove warns that unless Sue Ellen is proven to be wildly unfit to care for their son, it's more than likely the court will favor her getting custody. He says that the only exceptions would be if she:
Dave Stratton meets up with Cliff in a parking lot so he can covertly (while no one is watching) hand over a briefcase containing damning evidence of JR's connection to the Southeast Asian counter-revolution.
JR tells Leslie he's not thrilled to hear she's been lunching with Jeremy Wendell, so she points out the need to expand her PR horizons by taking on clients other than Ewing Oil. She tells him that Jeremy is very disappointed that the Westar-Ewing Oil merger never came to fruition, and JR denies that that had ever been a possibility - then is forced to cut their meeting short when Dave Stratton arrives. After hustling Leslie out of his office, JR asks Dave what Cliff has that could possibly link him to the counter-revolution, and Dave convincingly fibs, "Cliff Barnes doesn't have a thing."
Over at Casa Barnes, Cliff is perusing the documents from Dave's briefcase, looking so pleased by the proof of JR's misdeeds that he fixes himself a celebratory drink and chirps, "Bye bye, JR!" A few seconds later, Pam drops by to tearfully share that her doctor has confirmed she's physically incapable of carrying a baby to term. Cliff's like, "I dunno what you want me to do 'bout that", suggests she talk to Rebecca about her lady problems, and tells her that right now he really just wants to be alone with his new treasure trove of incriminating-against-JR documents. Pam shoots him a 'the fuck?' glare and angrily asks him if he wants to be alone his entire life, yells at him for repeatedly snubbing their newly re-emerged mother, and storms out of the apartment. Cliff re-opens the briefcase and sorts through the documents...then decides to let Pam's guilt trip get the better of him, and picks up the phone and calls Rebecca.
At Southfork that evening, Bobby asks Pam whaddup with her mopey-ness lately, so she tells him that her doctor confirmed her inability to give birth. Bobby scrunches his face perplexedly and unhelpfully asks if there's really nothing they can do to counteract her infertility, and she tells him that the state of her uterus is pretty hopeless and that she couldn't stand to suffer another miscarriage. Bobby says he knows how hard this situation sucks, but reminds her of how much they love each other...and Pam wails about how how badly she wanted to have his baby.
Lucy calls Mitch to ask him if it's OK for her to stay another day in Houston, then explains that her handlers want her to appear on a talk show. Mitch snappishly retorts, "Sure, stay a week if you want" and hangs up...and when Lucy tries calling him back, he ignores the ringing phone and storms out of the condo like the prickly little baby man-bitch he is.
Cliff lays out some tasty edibles on his coffee table a few seconds before Rebecca drops by. She thanks him for seeing her and makes pleasant small talk about how well he's done for himself by becoming a lawyer. She then throws in the towel on tip-toeing around the awkwardness of the get-together and says they sound like complete strangers...so then Cliff lets it rip about how she ran out on him when he was five years old and left him with a baby sister and a drunken father. As she stammers, "It's hard to explain..", Cliff bellows, "How could a woman dooooo that?!", and a distraught Rebecca makes a beeline over to the door and says that while she didn't expect him to forgive her, she prayed he could try. Cliff insists he has, then has a sudden change of heart as he urgently cries out, "Mamaaaaaa!!" and gets all choked up as he tells her he remembered that she liked licorice. He then picks up the dish he filled with licorice and dramatically thrusts it in her direction - and Rebecca is so moved by the funny looking gesture that soon the two are sobbing and rushing into each other's arms...and I'm thinking that this scene probably shouldn't have made me laugh, much less laugh as hard as I did.
The camera pans over the designer shoes and shapely calves of a woman exiting a cab and then flouncing into a hotel lobby...and when she whirls around to check on her luggage, we see that Kristin Shepard and her freakish Joker lips have made their triumphant return to Dallas.
During the regularly scheduled Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry meeting, Cliff announces that he needs to address the committee, then starts handing out folders while explaining that they contain evidence of a possible threat to national security, aka a direct link between JR Ewing and the overthrow of a legitimate (though now defunct) Southeast Asian government. Bobby's all, "Wh-a-a-a?" and stares at him in stunned bewilderment while the other senators titter amongst themselves.
Rebecca drops by Pam's office to happily report that she visited with Cliff last night, and that he's completely forgiven her for abandoning him when he was a small child. Pam looks skeptical and asks her if Cliff knows she's wealthy, but Rebecca says he only knows that she loves him.
When the senate committee adjourns for the day, Bobby angrily reminds Cliff that he's supposed to function as his subordinate, not go over his head and address the panel without any advance warning. He then accuses Cliff of taking this job purely to stab the Ewings in the back - but Cliff argues that he freed Bobby from having to blow the whistle on his own brother or face co-conspiracy charges if he were to withhold the information. Cliff adds that he's more than happy to be "the heavy" on whom the Ewings can dump all of their wrath and frustration.
Kristin is on the phone, telling whoever she's talking to that her baby is with friends in L.A., and that the two of them need to get together soon.
That evening, Mitch brings his gal pal, whose name we finally learn is Jean, to the condo for some wine and pleasant conversation. When he starts whining to her yet again about having a wife who has the audacity to pursue a modelling career, Jean firmly states that she doesn't want to talk about marriage and/or Lucy, then steers the conversation to med school stuff. Mitch looks momentarily put out by her lack of interest in wanting to listen to his endless bellyaching, but then mercifully agrees to stuff a sock in it about his contrived marital woes.
The next morning, Sue Ellen tells JR she's going into the city to buy Baby John some new clothes to replace all the stuff he's outgrown. JR snidely asks her if she wouldn't be happier living in a hotel room or downtown apartment so that she could dispense with making her suitors go through the motions of taking her out to dinner before hitting the sheets...and Sue Ellen somehow refrains from smacking the brazen hypocrite and makes it clear that her place is at Southfork with her child, who's suddenly become the most important thing in her life. After she heads out, Miss Ellie telephones from "Europe" to check in with JR and let him know that the second honeymoon is going great, and that she really misses Sue Ellen and Baby John.
Lucy returns home and is aghast to learn that Jean spent the night in the master bedroom while Mitch lays sprawled out on the couch. Mitch is all, "Oops!" and explains that Jean is just a friend, and that they stayed up late talking...and downed so much wine that he felt it was safer for her to spend the night. After Jean wisely beats a hasty retreat, Lucy accuses Mitch of cheating on her, then rails about having to live according to his ridiculous, sexist standards. Mitch stupidly points out this wouldn't have happened if she weren't gallivanting all over Texas having her photo taken, and Lucy responds by icily announcing that she's moving back to Southfork and putting an end to this turd-pile of a toxic marriage.
Sue Ellen is sashaying down a downtown street when a limo driver stops her and motions toward the car's passenger seat...from which Dusty suddenly pops out and grins at her. In the next scene, Sue Ellen is walking alongside him as he hobbles on crutches and explains that he recently had spine-correcting/penis-saving surgery, and credits his progress on how desperately he wants her back in his life. Sue Ellen says she's thrilled for him, will do everything she can to help him walk and doink again, and assures him she wants to spend the rest of her life with him...'cause heaven forbid she go any length of time not romantically connected to a man who has the dough to finance her preferred life of leisure.
The senate panel decides that the documents Cliff gave them are inconclusive, and a motion is made to table an investigation into JR until they feel the matter warrants further action. A miffed Cliff accuses Bobby of pressuring his committee co-members to not to pursue the matter, but Bobby denies it and says it isn't his style.
Later at Southfork, Bobby blabs to JR about the various documents Cliff presented to the senate committee...and JR plays dumb and asks what Cliff could possibly have that connects him to the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. Bobby's all, "Whoa, dude! That's classified senate information" ... and says this as if he had any business informing JR about a senate committee receiving classified documents in the first place. JR dismissively says that whatever it is is "all a pack of lies", and nonsensically chides Bobby for not demonstrating greater family loyalty. Bobby comes right out and asks him if he had anything to do with the counter-revolution, and JR fibs that while he benefited from it, he didn't actually orchestrate anything. Bobby says he doesn't buy that, warns that the senate investigation has only been tabled...and that if it's activated, Ewing Oil could be destroyed. Egads!
Cliff gleefully tells Afton he's very confident he's going to break JR soon...and when Afton asks him why he wants to do that, Cliff says that since he doesn't have a damn life, he's become relentlessly obsessed with plotting JR's downfall. He then tells her his next move will be to hold a press conference and accuse the Select Committee of Legislative Inquiry of a massive cover-up.
Leslie is reading the latest edition of The Dallas Press, with the damaging headline splashed across the front page: Alleged Cover-up on Asian Coup by Senate Committee, JR Ewing Linked to Overthrow of Southeast Asian Government. She mulls this over for a few seconds, then calls Jeremy Wendell to set up a meeting about their mutual interests and how quickly she can abandon the sinking ship that is Ewing Oil.
JR is on the phone with Hank Johnson, ordering him to find out who's been looking into his illicit activities. When Hank insists he covered his tracks, a dismayed JR retorts that all hell is breaking loose.
Jordan Lee drops by Kristin's hotel room, grumbling about unhappy he is to have fathered her baby, which...ew, ew, and double ew. Kristin tells him she could have taken him to court for a far more profitable child support arrangement, and Jordan's like, "Yeah, good point" and opens up his check book and writes her a generous amount. He then warns her to get out of Dallas, otherwise she might run into JR...and she looks intrigued by the prospect and smugly replies, "You're right. I just might."
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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