Recap: The Ewings are hosting a Bon Voyage party for Jock and Miss Ellie, who [have speedily made up after being at odds for much of Season 4 and] are about to embark on a second honeymoon. Punk Anderson tells JR he really really wants to talk to Jock before he leaves - just as Sue Ellen gets a phone call from Alicia Ogden, who says they need to discuss a workable timeshare arrangement regarding Clint. She offers to stop by Southfork for a chat, but Sue Ellen's all, "Ack! No! We have people over!", and suggests they meet in a more clandestine fashion at a downtown restaurant the day after tomorrow.
Jock is seated in the back of a limo, good-naturedly growling about what could be keeping Miss Ellie. Punk rushes over and tries to get Jock interested in hearing about a new land deal - but as soon as Miss Ellie climbs into the limo beside Jock, they speed off to the airport. JR asks Punk what kind of land deal he's considering, so Punk tells him there's a plot of land outside of Lubbock he thinks would be perfect for high density housing. JR says he finds that a fascinating idea that should be hashed out with Ray...and Ray stares into space like a deer in headlights before muttering, "Uh, sure..?"
Cliff drops by Pam's office to apologize for behaving like such a jerkwad during the previous episode and invites her to lunch. When Pam stonily declines, Cliff says it's not fair of her to expect him to suddenly feel the same way about Rebecca that she does, declares that they'll prolly never see eye-to-eye about this situation, and gripes about how their once presumed dead mother is threatening their brother-sister bond.
Over at Ewing Oil, a miffed Donna snarls at JR, "Why can't you leave well enough alone?!" and says she's verrrrry pissed off at him for setting up Ray for failure with respect to the Lubbock housing project, since he knows damn well that her yokelly husband doesn't have the smarts to handle a deal of this magnitude. JR argues that since Ray is a Ewing spawn he needs to start taking on more responsibilities, then smirkingly doubts that Ray would appreciate finding out his own wife thinks he's too much of a dolt to handle himself while 'wheelin' and dealin' with a hillbilly shitbag like Punk Anderson. Donna just glares back at him, warns that she'll make him pay if Ray gets in over his head, then storms out of the office.
That evening at Southfork, Pam tells Bobby she got into a scrap with Cliff over their differing opinions about Rebecca suddenly re-entering their lives. She then suggests the two of them have dinner with Rebecca tomorrow night so that he can finally meet her, and he says he'd be delighted to clear his senate schedule and make time to meet his mama-in-law.
Cliff returns to his apartment with a big bag of takeout. He stares glumly at a framed black and white glam photo of Pam that, for some reason, is on display on his coffee table, then wanders over to the telephone to ask the operator to look up his mama's phone number...but then can't bring himself to dial it.
Leslie Stewart is in a meeting with Jeremy Wendell, discussing Westar Oil acquiring Ewing Oil, and suggests they make the transition sound as folksy as possible by referring to Ewing Oil as being "in the Westar family". Jeremy doesn't seem entirely thrilled by the concept and asks her if she's spoken to JR today, and she says he hasn't returned her many phone messages, but then reminds Jeremy that he's probably busy with all the happiness surrounding his newly reconciled parents. Jeremy wanks her by complimenting her wonderful PR work and promises to send some Westar Oil projects her way from time to time, then includes her PR savvy in the common interests that both Westar Oil and Ewing Oil share.
Lucy is doing some awkward looking splits/stretching exercises in the condo when Mitch returns home in a rare good mood. He suggests they spend a few days relaxing at a friend's lake house, and Lucy squeals, "I looooove that idea!" and gives him a happy smooch.
Sue Ellen arrives at her scheduled meeting with Alicia Ogden, a plain looking woman who seems almost awestruck to be in the rarified presence of a well tended Ewing trophy wife. She comes right out and tells Sue Ellen she knows that she and Clint have been hitting the sheets, mostly 'cause of how inept Clint is at carrying on an affair behind her back. She tells Sue Ellen she knows how in love they've been since their college years, but doesn't want to cause Clint a moment's pain and asks for just one favor of her husband's mistress: that she keep the extramarital affair as discreet as possible. An incredulous looking Sue Ellen asks her how she lives knowing her husband is cheating on her, and Alicia says she's totes fine with sharing Clint if it means he won't divorce her. Sue Ellen responds by shaking her head in bewildered puzzlement and says she could never tolerate that kind of marital dysfunction...and says this as if FOR YEARS she hasn't been putting up with JR openly sleeping with every floozy who's ever stumbled into his orbit, and stubbornly staying married to the serial philanderer 'cause of the wealth and status that come along with being a Ewing wife.
Later, Sue Ellen calls Clint to tell him they need to talk, and an excited Clint cluelessly suggests they meet up in their usual boom boom room and order room service. LOL.
Afton finds Cliff boozing in the Stardrift Lounge and joins him for a drink. When she remarks on how sad he looks, he tells her he's having family problems - but would much rather tell her all about it in his apartment...and in the next scene, the two are in his bed, enjoying some post-coital afterglow. Afton coos about him being the best lover she's ever had - including JR, who disregarded her as a person to the extent that he took phone calls in her presence from some funny sounding [pretend] Southeast Asian countries. Cliff perks up at that revelation and offers to cook her breakfast so they can talk 'bout this some more, then mounts her for some high intensity smooching.
JR drops by Leslie's apartment, unannounced, with a bottle of champagne to celebrate a deal he just wrapped up with some out-of-state investors. Leslie coyly tells him it's rumored that Ewing Oil is for sale, and JR scrunches his face in faux confusion and rhetorically asks why he'd ever do a thing like sell his family-operated firm. He then changes the subject to his impending divorce from Sue Ellen, refers to Leslie as his future wife, and pours two glasses of champagne. When he leans in for a smooch, Leslie "accidentally" pours her champagne down the back of his shirt, then tells him they should probably delay their first doink to such time as their next canoodle when he hasn't just been spilled on. After she hustles JR out of her apartment, she returns to her bedroom - where her ex-husband Craig is lounging naked on the bed, chuckling about how perfectly she played JR. The two then laugh about how JR seemed to buy her 'I'm actually considering marrying you' act seriously enough to discuss divorcing his wife.
Jeremy Wendell and some cohort named Howard arrive at Ewing Oil to ask JR whassup with him not following through with selling Ewing Oil to Westar. JR breaks the news that after [pretending to have] several phone conferences with Jock, it's been decided to keep Ewing Oil in the family indefinitely. Jeremy glares at him and reminds him he gave his word that the sale of Ewing Oil wouldn't depend on the marital status of Jock and Miss Ellie...and that he's mightily pissed that he's now going to look like a dumb jerk in front of his board. JR does his best to look empathetic and says, "I'm sorry", to which a vexed Jeremy warns, "Not as sorry as you're gonna be."
Bobby drops by Casa Yokel to find out why Ray's been shirking his duties as Southfork's head foreman. Donna tells him that Ray is currently meeting with Punk et. al. about the Lubbock housing project and is worried he's in way over his head. Bobby scrunches his face concernedly and says that Southfork is expecting a shipment of steers tomorrow and wishes Ray would focus less on deal making and more on ranching.
Pam arrives at Rebecca's new pad for a home cooked lunch...and when Pam laments about how she never has the opportunity to cook now that she lives at Southfork, Rebecca asks why she and Bobby don't move out and get a place of their own - RIGHT??!! - so Pam mumbles about how much Bobby loves the ranch...and adds that, surprisingly, it's been starting to grow on her as well. Rebecca says it seems like a great place to raise children, prompting Pam to put her sad face on and confide in her mom that she's had two miscarriages. Rebecca tells her that two miscarriages does not an infertile woman make, then points out that if the baby thing doesn't work out, she still has a great marriage with a dull-as-dishwater but loving husband. Pam frets that she's become too dependent on Bobby and worries about smothering him with all of her 'I wanna baby' emotional baggage, and Rebecca empathizes and says she can understand her need for children. She urges Pam to see a doctor to determine if she's actually physically capable of having children, and Pam agrees that that's a good idea and invites her mom to tag along on her doctor's appointment.
Sue Ellen arrives at hers/Clint's pleasure hotel draped in a fancy fur coat, and Clint gets all smoochy before presenting her with a ginormous diamond ring and professing his desire to make her his second wife. Sue Ellen says she can't accept it 'cause she doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up his marriage just so she can "recapture a schoolgirl fantasy", then says she'll always love him "in a special way", but that this undefined special way isn't enough for her anymore. As Clint stares back at her in shattered bewilderment, Sue Ellen tells him he's a wonderful man, chides herself for using him for selfish reasons, then assures him it's better that she crush his soul now rather than months or years from now. She gathers up her fur coat and flounces out of the room, leaving a heartbroken Clint staring after, his face contorted into a funny looking expression of misery.
That evening, Sue Ellen puts Baby John to bed...and a few seconds later, Pam ambles into the nursery to help tuck in the little cherub and gush about what a beautiful little boy he is. Sue Ellen declares that she's now decided her child will be her main source of happiness in life, and condescendingly tells Pam she's sorry she doesn't/can't have one, 'cause the abundant joy that is a woman's maternal love can make all the difference.
The next morning at Southfork, JR asks Ray how the Lubbock project is coming along...and when Ray pretends it's going great, JR gleefully warns him to try to not lose a bundle of cash during the deal making process. After JR smirkingly leaves for work, Bobby tells Ray he thinks they're going to need to hire a ranch foreman to make up for all the slacking he (Ray) has been doing since being declared a Ewing spawn, but Ray insists that he's still Southfork's head foreman and has everything under control. Once he leaves and is out of earshot, Pam remarks to Bobby that Ray seemed overly cocky just then, and Bobby concurs and says he's clearly afraid to fail at his business dealings.
Jeremy Wendell tells Dave Stratton he just had a terrible meeting with his board and therefore wants him to provide Cliff with whatever he needs to get the state senate to launch a full investigation into JR's role in financing the Southeast Asian counter-revolution. He wants JR to be mired in a scandal so devastating that Ewing Oil has its charter revoked...and also lands his new archenemy in prison.
JR is surprised to find Sue Ellen in the nursery, asleep in the rocking chair after reading to Baby John. JR picks up his son and tucks him into his crib...and Sue Ellen awakens and coos about what a handsome boy they created, and that he has his father eyes, aka the first thing that attracted her to him (aside from his ability to permanently finance her life of leisure). As the two amble over to their bedroom, Sue Ellen tells JR that her mama had had another man picked out for her, but she dug him (JR) and got the shivers every time he talked to her. As a weirded out JR scrunches his face confusedly at the pleasantness of the conversation they're having, Sue Ellen asks him to explain why he chose her among all the women he could have married, so he reminisces about the first time he laid eyes on her: prancing around a stage in a swimsuit while vying for the Miss Texas crown and somehow managing to pull off the humiliation by not looking like a total hussy. He recalls how much Miss Ellie and Jock loved her when she first showed up at Southfork, and that the best thing they ever coordinated on was having Baby John. Sue Ellen stares sadly into space as she asks, "What happened?" - just as the phone rings with news from California: her sister Kristin has just given birth to JR's out-of-wedlock spawn. Egads!
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