Dallas - Season 4, Episode 1

"Hello, Vodka. It's me, Sue Ellen."

"No More Mister Nice Guy, Part 1"
Original airdate: 11/7/1980

Episode summary: JR is hospitalized after being shot by a mystery assailant.

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Recap: A cleaning woman enters the Ewing Oil offices to begin her night time shift...and eventually glances across the reception area and sees JR laying on the floor, unconscious. She lets out a shriek of horror...and in the next scene, paramedics and police are on the scene. Word of the shooting must have spread quickly, 'cause soon a ginormous crowd (containing Cliff) is gathered around the downtown building, and everyone looks riveted by the sight of JR being wheeled out on a stretcher and loaded into the ambulance. 

A dejected looking Miss Ellie is eating dinner alone in the Southfork dining room when Ray drops by with some papers for Jock to sign. Miss Ellie tells him that Jock is in Forth Worth for a business meeting - just as the phone rings...and Ray answers and is informed by police that JR has been shot. Miss Ellie's all, "Wha-a-a-a-a?!" and asks Ray to summon a ranch hand to give her a lift to Dallas Memorial. 

JR is wheeled into the ER, where a team of doctors quickly get to work, stabilizing him.

Miss Ellie asks Ray to contact Jock and have him meet her at the hospital. She adds that Bobby and Pam are currently on the road, Lucy is studying with her friend Muriel...but that she doesn't have a clue where Sue Ellen is.

A police detective tells Jock that he's investigating JR's shooting and could use a list of possible suspects - but Jock's like, "I'm kinda preoccupied with worrying about whether or not my son is going to survive the night." Dr. Pearson emerges from the ER to inform Jock and Miss Ellie that despite JR being struck by two bullets, which likely damaged his spleen and/or a kidney, he somehow doesn't feel any sense of urgency to rush him to the nearest operating room to remove the bullets or look into the possibility that he's bleeding internally. 

"We're hopeful that the bullets will settle into your son's body and start to feel at home among his organs."

"Sounds like a reasonable treatment plan."

Ray calls Lucy's nerdy gal pal Muriel and asks her if Lucy's there, and Muriel says she was at her place earlier, then went out with a group of friends. Ray says he urgently needs to get a hold of her and that Lucy needs to call home asap...and Muriel hangs up with a troubled look on her bespectacled face.

Jock calls Ray to get an update on his progress in locating the rest of the family. Ray tells him he wasn't able to track down Lucy or Sue Ellen, but that highway patrol is keeping an eye out for Pam and Bobby...'cause, yeah, I'm sure that the law enforcement agency has nothing better to do with their time. A few seconds later, Ray gets a call from Muriel, who sheepishly says she had held back telling him that Lucy went to a seminar with her teacher, Greg Forrester, then gives him Greg's home address.

Dr. Pearson tells Jock and Miss Ellie that JR is responsive and resting comfortably - just as Kristin arrives at the hospital and asks how JR is holding up. She glances around and asks where Sue Ellen is, and Miss Ellie and Jock are like, "Dunno" and suggest that she head over to Southfork in case Sue Ellen shows up there.

​Sue Ellen wakes up in her wood paneled station wagon, which for some unknown reason is parked at the local airport. She glances around confusedly, stares at a nearly empty vodka bottle, then starts the engine and drives off.

Ray races over to Greg Forrester's house, where Mrs. Forrester wryly tells him that the "seminar" Lucy is "attending" with her philandering douchebag of a husband is likely taking place at a nearby sleazy motel.

Sue Ellen arrives at Southfork, ambles into the house, and seems perplexed by the quietness. Kristin arrives a few seconds later and informs her that JR has been shot, then asks her if she remembers what happened last night. Sue Ellen looks stricken and squeaks, "No" - just as Baby John starts crying from the nursery. She rushes upstairs to comfort her son...and Kristin races after her so that she can continue shooting her looks of bewilderment.

Ray storms into the motel room where Greg and Lucy are holed up and finds Greg shirtless and a naked Lucy is sitting up in bed, covering her mammaries with the sheet. Ray barks at Greg to get the hell out, then turns his attention to Lucy and says [with a straight face that] he thought she had more smarts than to hook up with a married man. Lucy scrunches her face confusedly and goes, "Married..?" and Ray tells her to get dressed and drive over to Dallas Memorial pronto 'cause JR's been shot.  

"I thought you had more class than to hit the sheets with a married man in a sleazy motel."

"Uh, have you met me?"

Kristin promises Sue Ellen that she'll stand by her no matter what, and Sue Ellen stares back at her in puzzlement and says she has no idea what she's talking about...and that the last thing she remembers doing during the Season 3 finale is leaving Dr. Elby's office and tottering to the bar across the street to get hammered. Kristin says she'll do her best to fill in the blanks, then informs her that at around 5pm she had burst into her condo...and we get a fake flashback of that encounter:

Sue Ellen storms into Kristin's condo, clutching a gun, and railing at her sister for destroying her shitty marriage. An eerily calm Kristen tells her that JR's not here, then pours Sue Ellen a drink to help calm her down. Sue Ellen reacts by guzzling the booze and stumbling across the living room, declaring that she's on a mission to find JR so she can kill him so he doesn't get the chance to put her away in a sanitarium. She mumbles, "Dusty would help me.." as she staggers out the door.

Kristin tells Sue Ellen that she half-heartedly tried to stop her from leaving, and opted not to call the police on her. Sue Ellen stares back at her in horror, moans, "Oh God.." and says that on the strength of this fake flashback, she can only assume that she was the one who shot JR. She rushes into the bathroom and says she needs to get herself cleaned up before heading over to the hospital.

Cliff returns home, turns on the TV, and sees a news brief about the ginormous crowd watching as JR is wheeled into the ambulance. The anchor reports that no suspects are in custody yet, and Cliff stares contemplatively into space before shutting off the TV.

A helicopter spots Bobby's convertible on the highway, and whoever's aboard barks at Bobby to pull over. Bobby tells Pam he assumes he's getting a speeding ticket - but when a cop rushes over and informs him that they're needed at home 'cause JR's been shot, they're all, "Oooooh noooo!", and abandon the convertible by the side of the highway (!) as they race toward the helicopter.

Dr. Pearson tells Miss Ellie and Jock that they're going to finally get around to operating on JR, then is summoned to JR's room - stat! - when his blood pressure starts to plummet. Dr. Pearson tells the other doctors it looks like JR's spleen is damaged and that he needs to get to the OR asap. They wheel him out - just as Sue Ellen and Kristin rush over. Miss Ellie gives the two an update...and when Sue Ellen asks if JR is going to live, Jock snaps, "Do you really care?" and asks her where she was last night. Sue Ellen tightly replies, "It doesn't matter", and Jock lets out a derisive sneer and accuses her of spending the evening gallivanting. Kristin chimes in and weakly claims that Sue Ellen was sick, and Jock growls, "You mean drunk??", and Sue Ellen openly admits that, yep, she got loaded after her appointment with Dr. Ellby...then woke up the next morning parked at the airport. Jock shakes his head in dismay and says she should be locked away in a sanitarium, then stomps over to the cafeteria to get himself a coffee. Miss Ellie pats Sue Ellen reassuringly and asks her to refrain from fleeing Southfork in the hopes that they'll all find a way to wade through the endless shitpile of Ewing dysfunction and magically become one big happy family.

"I can only assume that you were out all night gallivanting before passing out drunk."

"How dare you accuse me of gallivanting before passing out drunk."

Lucy and Ray arrive at the hospital and get an update on JR's condition...and a few seconds later, Miss Ellie gets a phone call from Gary, who asks how JR's doing and then offers to fly to Dallas asap. Valene shoots him a seriously? face...and after he hangs up, she points out that this will be the first time he has to handle a crisis sober, and that she won't be mourning JR if he doesn't survive. Gary shrugs helplessly, says, "It's my family, they need me", and gives her a hug.  

Over in the OR, the surgeons remove one of two bullets from JR's innards and nod approvingly at each other.

Pam and Bobby arrive at the hospital by helicopter, which looks to be a very handy way for rich people to get ferried around quickly in cases of emergency.

The police detective once again presses Jock for a list of possible suspects in JR's shooting, and Bobby chimes in and says that JR had a long list of enemies, e.g. Vaughn Leland and Seth Stone's widow. Jock growls that Cliff Barnes should be at the top of that list, and Pam shoots him the stink-eye before storming past him and exiting the hospital. Bobby rushes after her and points out that her brother did have plenty of motive to shoot JR - but she denies that he's capable of violence, and is heading over to his office right now to confirm his non-involvement in the shooting.

Dr. Pearson tells the Ewings that JR made it through the surgery OK - but that there's still a bullet lodged in his spine that will require a future, more delicate surgery.

Miss Ellie tells Jock that she wants him to do everything in his power to convince Bobby to stay in Dallas - but Jock grumbles about how irked he still is that Bobby opened the Ewing 23 oil well without anyone's permission. Miss Ellie points out how stupid it is to argue with his son about an oil well, says she doesn't want to lose another son to Ewing Oil, and firmly repeats, "I want Bobby home."

Pam finds Cliff drinking in an outdoor cafe. She seats herself at his table and asks him whassup with him boozing it up during the middle of a workday, and he snarls that he doesn't have to account to her for his time...and when she asks him if his drinking is related to JR, he laughs bitterly and says that everything in his damn life always seems to have something to do with JR. She informs him that Jock named him as a possible suspect in JR's shooting, then comes right out and asks him if he did it...and Cliff asks her if she really thinks he's a killer, then gets up and saunters off.

"Did you shoot JR?"

"Let me answer that question by asking you a pointless rhetorical question."

Pam takes a cab to Southfork, then stands in the driveway and looks around the ranch with a fuuuuuuuuuuck expression on her face. 

Miss Ellie, Bobby, Sue Ellen, and Kristin are sitting around JR's bedside when he begins to stir and murmur, "Mama.." The police detective enters the room and asks JR if he happened to see the person who shot him...and JR slowly glances around the room and fixes his glare on Sue Ellen, who stares back at him with a wide-eyed look of panic.

Duhn duhn duhn!

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