Recap: Jock and Miss Ellie are enjoying a quiet morning on the Southfork patio when Miss Ellie brings up the subject of [his first wife] Amanda and asks him how long it's been since he's seen her. Jock says it's been a long time, 'cause of all the years he let pass before finally having the guts to confess to his family that he'd been married before...and that during this cowardly stretch of time, he figured it'd be easier to stop visiting the asylum than explain where/why he was traveling. Miss Ellie urges him to fly to the Colorado asylum asap to pay poor Amanda a visit, and Jock agrees that that's probably a good idea, but insists that she come with him so that there are absolutely no secrets between them. JR returns home from work and reports to Jock that all of the bank loans Ewing Oil took out to finance his risky Asian oil lease venture are officially paid in full, which effectively means that Ewing Oil is now one of the richest oil companies in the country. When he meekly asks Jock if he's proud of him, Jock grunts something unintelligible and reminds him how badly he screwed the pooch when he nearly bankrupted Ewing Oil and lost Southfork. JR sheepishly promises to never use the family ranch as collateral for a business deal again, or do anything that jeopardizes Ewing Oil - and Jock nods approvingly and says he's happy with his work performance as long as he obediently continues to tow the line. JR beams gratefully at his grizzled daddy and chuckles about how eager the rest of the Texas cartel members are to get in on their lucrative Asian oil lease action. After dinner, Sue Ellen makes a beeline over to the sitting room to quickly guzzle some booze before hastily pouring herself a club soda so she can pretend to everyone that she hasn't fallen off the wagon. When the rest of the Ewing clan ambles over for after dinner drinks, Miss Ellie asks Sue Ellen whassup with her hardly eating any dinner, and JR holds up a bottle of booze and snidely says, "She gets her nourishment from this." Bobby snarks at JR to shut up, to which JR retorts, "The first step in curing a drunk is getting them to admit what they are" then tells Bobby he might want to focus on his own wife's problems, 'cause it's clear she's "cracking up" after learning that her bio dad was a thieving saddle tramp who knocked up her whore of a mother. Bobby's all, "The fuuuuuuuuck?!" and lunges at JR before giving him a well deserved punch to the gut...and an irked Jock breaks up the fight and admonishes 1) Bobby for his hot temper and 2) JR for running his sassy mouth about Pam's icky parentage. Pam goes upstairs to lay down...and when Bobby enters the room she wonders aloud if maybe JR's right about her "cracking up" 'cause of how confused she is after learning that she's never technically been a Barnes. Bobby tells her that confusion is understandable after the shock she suffered during the previous episode, and Pam shakes her head in incredulity and says she still can't comprehend that a low-life douchetard like Hutch McKinney was her bio dad, and that everything she's ever thought was true about herself has been a lie. Bobby assures her that she's the same person she's always been, then suggests they take off somewhere for a mini-vacation. Pam declines and says tomorrow she's getting together with Cliff and Maggie to sift through Digger's old stuff, and she wants to see if there's anything in his boxes o' stuff that can offer any clues about her past. JR arrives at his leggy blonde hooker's apartment for an impromptu booty call, but she tells him she booked herself with another john and can't accommodate an unscheduled doink. A frustrated and horny JR heads over to Kristin's condo and goes straight into the bedroom, where he starts stripping off his clothes and brusquely orders her to do the same. Kristin tells him she's appalled that he would expect her to perform without even the semblance of foreplay, then haughtily declares that she's refusing to go to bed with him until such time as he divorces Sue Ellen and marries her. As JR continues to strip off his clothes, she complains that he's not listening to a word she's saying...and he grunts, "That's right!", orders her to stop talking, and amorously pulls her atop him. Pam, Cliff, and Aunt Maggie are at Digger's house [which is weird 'cause I didn't think he had a house, given that he had been bunking at Cliff's apartment], going through his stuff. Pam asks Maggie if she knows anything about her mom Rebecca, and Maggie says she figures that Digger probably married her on the rebound after getting dumped by Miss Ellie - but that he grew to love her...though not so much after she got herself knocked up by Hutch McKinney. Some years later, Rebecca died (maybe?) and Digger showed up at her (Maggie's) house one day with two little kids and was all, "Surprise, sis! I figured you could help me raise these two spawn." Pam says she fully intends to look into what happened to her mother and is planning on taking take a trip to Corpus Christi to see what she can dig up. Cliff, meanwhile, finds what he thinks might be an interesting document and quietly pockets it. Hank Johnson, the foreman in charge of Ewing Oil's Asian operation, arrives in Dallas to inform JR about disturbing events occurring in Asia...and by disturbing events, he means that a powerful group of rebels are inciting a political revolution in whatever Asian country the writers refuse to call out by name or at least invent a fictitious name for. He tells JR that if the rebels win, they'll nationalize the oil industry and seize ownership of everything...and JR's all, "Wha-a-a-a?!" and visibly pales. After the commercial break, JR instructs Hank to approach the rebel leaders and offer a bribe so that Ewing Oil can retain ownership of its leases...and Hank says it's doubtful that that tactic will work, but promises to try. After he rushes off to catch the next flight to Asia, JR tells his secretary to arrange a meeting at the condo with Vaughn Leland. The next morning, Vaughn is at the condo, flirtily bantering with Kristin when JR arrives. He tells Leland he'd like to start their meeting pronto, and sends Kristin into the kitchen to fetch them some coffee. Sue Ellen tells Dr. Ellby she feels she has no choice but to languish at Southfork and sneak gulps of booze whenever possible in order to smooth out the edges. Dr. Ellby rolls his eyes derisively and remarks that booze is clearly her new crutch now that Dusty is gone, and she shrieks, "He wasn't a crutch! I loved him!", then sadly adds that she no longer has anyone. Dr. Ellby points out that she still has herself, and that she could take this opportunity to dig deep to find "the real Sue Ellen" ... and she stares back at him blankly as if to point out that "digging deep" is an exercise in futility when it comes to someone as shallow of substance as she routinely proves herself to be. Vaughn leaves the condo after he and JR wrap up their meeting...and Kristin complains to JR about the lewd way Vaughn was ogling her. JR says she should consider that kind of creepy attention flattering, given that she's an attractive, available young woman. Kristin's all, "Available?", reminds him that they're practically engaged, and asks if he's really suggesting that she spend sexy time with the cartel menfolk. JR shrugs disinterestedly and says he's fine with it, and that it'd be a great way to ease her boredom (now that she's unemployed) while extracting intel he might find useful. She stares at him incredulously and asks if he's seriously pimping her out for the purpose of spying on his associates, and he's all, "Sounds like a good arrangement to me!" before beating a hasty retreat. LOL. An incensed Kristin calls Alan Beam and tells him she's ready to take him up on his offer for the two of them to join forces and bring down JR Ewing. Over at Southfork, Miss Ellie tells Pam she didn't know much about Rebecca, but feels great compassion for her considering the shitty life she must have endured with a drunken fuckwit of a husband like Digger. When Bobby enters the room, Miss Ellie suggests that he and Pam accompany her and Jock to Colorado while they visit Amanda in the asylum, and the two decide 'yep, that sounds like a super fun getaway'. The next day, JR calls Vaughn Leland to help him set up a meeting at Ewing Oil with the entire cartel. Sue Ellen overhears his conversation and makes a snide remark about him "wheelin' and dealin'" the minute his parents (+ Pam and Bobby) leave for Colorado. The cartel members assemble at Ewing Oil, where JR announces that he's finally letting them in on his Asian oil lease deal. He "explains" that Ewing Oil is looking to untie some capital funding for a few big deals they have in the works...and by untie, he means he intends to sell 75% of the company's Asian holdings. When the cartel members are all, "Wuh?" and ask what the catch is, JR says that Ewing Oil will want 25% of every barrel they [won't actually] sell...and the men groan before deciding, yep, it's still a great deal. JR says that since he needs the money pronto, they're either going to have to come up with the cash right now or miss out on what he assures them is a sure thing. At the condo, Kristin complains to Alan that JR is now pimping her out to his associates, and Alan suggests they figure out a way to use this shameless pimping to punish JR. Kristin mulls that over and proposes she entertain the cartel members in order to figure out exactly what JR's up to these days...and in the next scene she calls JR at the office and tells him she's A-OK with entertaining his oil buddies, starting with having dinner tonight with creepy Jordan Lee. JR perks up at her willingness to help his business interests by hitting the sheets with other men and tells her he's thrilled by her change of heart. From the hotel, Jock stares out the window at the Colorado sky and tells Miss Ellie he always dreads his visits with Amanda. Miss Ellie gives him a comforting canoodle, and the two press against each other for some light smooching action. Sue Ellen arrives at Dr. Ellby's building for her next appointment, but gets distracted by the sight of a cocktail bar across the street and decides she'd rather indulge in an afternoon bender than get therapy. Back at Ewing Oil, the cartel members decide to throw all good sense to the wind and buy up the available Asian oil leases. Vaughn gleefully tells JR he went in on the deal himself, and was so confident about the investment that he took out a huge loan to cover the cost. Amanda is led out of the asylum by her nurse, and is visibly confused by the sight of crusty old Jock. As he and Miss Ellie coo comfortingly at her, she notices Bobby standing across the lawn, lights up 'cause I'm guessing he must look a lot like Jock did in his less grizzled days...and runs toward him, grinning joyfully, with her arms outstretched. LOL. She twirls for him before blushingly asking if he likes the shapeless sack of an old lady dress she bought for the occasion, and Bobby can't bring himself to do anything other than stare back at her with a pained expression and mumble about how purdy she looks. She laments being such a burden on him, and tearfully professes how much she loooooves him...and when she becomes too overcome with emotion, the nurse steers her away from Bobby and back towards the asylum. The Ewings stare after her sadly, and Miss Ellie hugs Jock and tells him how sorry she is about his first wife's deteriorating mental state. Kristin is having dinner with Jordan Lee in her condo, pumping him for any intel on what the oil menfolk in Dallas think of JR. Jordan's like, "Not much", then fondles her hair and excitedly reveals that he just got cut in on the sweetest deal with Ewing Oil. Sue Ellen tells JR he hasn't looked this nervous since nearly losing Southfork, then says she's off to another therapy session with Dr. Ellby. A few seconds later, Jock et. al. return from their Colorado trip...and Lucy tells Pam that Cliff left a message to call him back asap. Cliff shows Pam the document he quietly pocketed when they were at Cliff's house the other day and tells her it's a handwritten contract from 1939 with verified signatures of Jock and Digger, which states that all oil profits from the land known as Ewing 23 will be shared equally by Jock, Digger, and their heirs in perpetuity. Cliff excitedly says that since Bobby recently re-activated drilling on Ewing 23, the profits should net the Barneses around 500K a year. He happily adds that this might possibly mean that Digger's life wasn't a total drunken waste - but Pam just makes a meh face and makes it clear that she's less than impressed by this possible cash windfall. Sue Ellen is back in the cocktail bar across the street from Dr. Ellby's building, boozing it up to the point of near unconsciousness. As she totters around the bar, looking ridic in her long fur coat and high heels, she stumbles to the floor...then stares longingly at the cowboy who helps her up. She whispers, "Dusty?" and he's like, "Uh, sure..?" and steers her over to the nearest table, where Sue Ellen touches his face in a drunken haze of hopefulness, moans, "Dustyyyyy.." and leans in for a smooch. Bobby and Ray are hanging out at Southfork when Bobby gets a call from the bartender who's been watching Sue Ellen make a drunken arse of herself for the last several hours. He tells Bobby that his sister-in-law could probably use some help, and Bobby's like, "I'm on it" before he and Ray rush off. Fake Dusty tells Sue Ellen he'd like to take her to a big party with a group of his horny cowboy friends, and she drunkenly bobs her head at the prospect of being gang-banged and lets him steer her towards the exit. A few seconds later, Bobby and Ray arrive...and Bobby firmly tells Sue Ellen he's taking her home now. Fake Dusty's all, "Whoa.." and insists that she's leaving with him...and the situation degenerates into an all-out brawl after Fake Dusty incites the horny cowboys to get involved. When Bobby and Ray get a brief respite from having their lights punched out, they grab Sue Ellen and whisk her out of the bar. Miss Ellie and Jock are playing backgammon when Bobby returns home with a barely conscious Sue Ellen. As the family looks on in horror, Pam rushes over and helps Bobby drag their inebriated sister-in-law up the staircase. JR, meanwhile, stares despondently into space and tells his parents that one of these days he's going to think about maybe stepping up and possibly do something about [helping?] his alcoholic wife. The next morning, JR ambles downstairs to the study, turns on the news, then wanders outside by the pool area with a cup of coffee. He gets a call from Hank Johnson, who informs him that things in whatever Asian country he's in "are going nuts", and that the political situation is rapidly changing. JR thanks him for keeping him informed and promises him a big bonus check. Jock, meanwhile, is standing in the study watching the news and is shocked to learn that the Asian rebels have taken over the entire oil industry in their unnamed country. When JR reenters the room, Jock glares at him and screeches, "How much did we lose?!" and JR grins back at him and smugly replies, "We just made ourselves a killing." Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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