Recap: JR is in Alan's apartment, railing at him for dragging his heels in marrying Lucy so that he can swiftly get her (and himself) out of Dallas. Alan says he's doing his best to get Lucy to set a wedding date - but JR complains that his best isn't good enough, then admonishes him for continuing to mess around with Betty Lou Barker. When Alan's all, "How the hell do you know about Betty Lou?", JR says he had him thoroughly looked into, and warns that he has two weeks to set a wedding date. Or else.
Lucy is strolling on campus with her gal pal Muriel. She tells Muriel she can't bring herself to set a wedding date 'cause she doesn't see the rush, considering she has the rest of her life to be married. She then says she's far more excited about their lit class...and as the two enter the classroom and take their seats, Lucy gazes appreciatively at her attractive teacher.
An unshaven, disheveled, beer guzzling Cliff answers his door assuming it's the pizza he ordered - but instead finds Pam standing in his doorway. She wanders around his messy apartment with an ew look on her face, then asks him if Digger is really moving to Galveston. Cliff shrugs unconcernedly and goes, "Yep", so Pam heads over to the other room to see if she can talk her father out of leaving. Digger tells her he's determined to move on, mostly 'cause he really really needs to feel useful again...and apparently there are lots of employment opportunities in Galveston. Pam eventually throws in the towel on convincing him to stay in Dallas ['cause, really, who gives a shit where Digger lives?] and offers to give him a lift to the bus station.
After lit class, Lucy and Muriel amble across campus while excitedly gabbling about their hot teacher. Alan arrives on campus, quickly spots Lucy, and rushes over to remind her that they had an appointment to go shopping for wedding rings this afternoon. Lucy stares back at him blankly and says she totally forgot, then asks if they can do it another time on account of all the pressure she's under to study hard and get good grades. Alan chuckles dismissively and asks her what the point is of getting good grades when she's about to marry him and become a lady of leisure, and Lucy irritably retorts, "It matters to me" before stomping off.
Pam tells Bobby she's very worried about Cliff and asks him if he could do something to help her down-and-out brother. Bobby's like, "Hell no" and assures her that Cliff will land on his feet. At some point. Maybe. But if not, he really couldn't give a rat's ass.
After dinner, Sue Ellen kisses JR on the cheek and politely offers to pour him a brandy...and Jock and Miss Ellie nod approvingly at each other at what they perceive to be much improved marital relations between the two. JR pulls Sue Ellen aside and asks her whassup with all the sugary niceness she's been dishing out lately, and she chuckles and asks him if it's really been so long since he received genuine affection. He mulls that over for a few seconds and is like, "Um, yeah..?"
Later that evening, Pam stares worriedly out the bedroom window and tells Bobby that Cliff is in such bad shape that she simply cannot stop worrying about him. She implores Bobby to do whatever he can to find him a job, so he reluctantly promises to make a half-hearted effort in helping to secure some form of employment for his deadbeat brother-in-law.
JR amorously pulls off his blazer as he steers Sue Ellen towards their bed - but before he can mount her she stops him and says, "I can't." He suspiciously asks her what she's up to - but before she has a chance to answer, he grabs his blazer and heads for the door. Sue Ellen snaps, "Say hello to Kristin", and he glares back at her and retorts, "So much for genuine affection" before storming out.
The next morning, JR gets dressed after spending the night doinking a leggy blonde hooker. He tosses a wad of cash at her and mumbles that he has to head to work now.
Kristin bursts into JR's office while he's chatting amiably with Louella, the secretary Kristin was temporarily replacing when she took a lot of time off to get married. After Louella leaves, JR tells Kristin that she just stopped in to say hi...and Kristin rolls her eyes disinterestedly and demands to know why he didn't come by the condo last night for their regularly scheduled booty call. JR evades answering by saying he suddenly has something urgent to discuss with Bobby. LOL.
JR enters Bobby's office in time to overhear him implore whoever he's talking to on the phone to pleeeeease do him the favor of granting Cliff Barnes a job interview. When Bobby ends the call, an appalled JR warns Bobby that anything he does to help Cliff is only going to backfire on the Ewings...and that if he wants to placate his wife after messing around with Jenna Wade (or any other floozy), it'd be a lot cheaper in the long run to buy her a piece of jewelry. Bwahahaha! Bobby admits that, yep, he's doing this as a favor to Pam, then threatens to bounce JR out of his office if he doesn't get the hell out this instant.
Sue Ellen is feeding Baby John in the nursery when Miss Ellie wanders into the room, nattering about her boring plan to stop Matt Devlin's "pet project" of building low income housing. Sue Ellen's like, "I really don't give a shit about that" [actually...that was me, projecting] and asks her what she thinks about them leaving Southfork...and since Miss Ellie assumes that them includes JR, she says one thing she knows for sure: JR loves the ranch too much to ever consider living [as an independent adult] elsewhere.
Alan is hanging with the Ewings at Southfork when Jock tells him he talked to Horace Smithfield, who's about to retire from the prestigious Dallas law firm, Smithfield & Bennett. He tells Alan there's a job for him at the firm if he wants it...and when Alan's all, "Yes please!", Jock gathers the family around to formally announce the newest hire at Horace & Smithfield. He explains that his string pulling is mostly a wedding gift to Lucy 'cause of how much he wants her to continue living at Southfork and thereby carry on the creepy Ewing tradition of forcing everyone's spouse to live under the same roof as their in-laws...and upon hearing the news, a shocked JR involuntarily spits out his drink. LOL. He congratulates Alan, then suggests they go inside so he can privately berate him for derailing his plans to get Lucy the hell out of Texas.
JR tells Alan he should have turned down Jock's offer - just as Jock enters the room and tells Alan that he and Miss Ellie would like to treat him and Lucy to a celebratory dinner.
Late that evening, JR is waiting inside Alan's apartment...and when Alan walks through the door, JR growls at him for being "a two-timing, double-crossing rat". Alan tells JR he couldn't exactly refuse Jock's generosity - but JR argues that he could have easily said no thank you and reminds him that they had a deal, namely to get Lucy and her scheming parents out of his hair for good. When JR declares the wedding off, Alan points out that he has no authority whatsoever to do that, and smugly adds that the situation has blown up in his face. JR warns him he's making a terrible mistake.
Cliff gets miffed when he learns that the job he's interviewing for is for that of legal assistant. The interviewer shrugs and says it's the best he can offer, considering all the bridges he burned during his many abuses of power while heading up the OLM...and snidely adds that the only reason he even granted this interview was as a favor to Bobby Ewing. Cliff gets incensed, says he can tell Bobby to stuff his rotten job, and storms out of the office.
JR rails to Kristin about Alan's treachery and complains that his hands are tied in terms of badmouthing Alan to Lucy 'cause it'll only make her dig her heels in that much harder. Kristin suggests he come right out and tell Lucy about Betty Lou Barker, but JR says he seriously doubts his niece would believe anything that comes out of his mouth. Kristin offers to help out with that, then sadly remarks that he doesn't count on her like he used to and wonders aloud if he's bored with her. He's like, "Uh, kinda" and says that things between them would probably be a lot more interesting if they didn't see so much of each other...then exits the office, leaving Kristin contorting her freakish Joker lips into an unhappy pout.
JR drops by Betty Lou Barker's apartment and offers her $1,000 if she blows the whistle on Alan for continuing to hook up with her while he's engaged to Lucy. When Betty Lou adamantly refuses, JR shakes his head confusedly and says he totally gets why a nitwit like his niece would be so easily fooled by an obvious con artist like Alan Beam - LOL - but can't fathom why a savvy, intelligent woman such as herself would even give Alan the time of day. Fair point. He vows to break up Alan and Lucy with or without her help, but she remains firm and snarks at him to get the hell out of her apartment.
JR tells Bobby he had Alan checked out and was shocked - shocked! - to learn that he has a secret mistress named Betty Lou Barker tucked away. Bobby shrugs disinterestedly and tells JR to mind his own business, not least 'cause..
Kristin arrives at Southfork with some work papers that JR tells her could have easily waited until morning. She encounters Lucy and Alan on their way to dinner and sassily tells Alan that she ran into Betty Lou Barker today, and that she was shocked to hear about his engagement 'cause she seemed to assume that they were getting married. Lucy shoots her a hateful glare, calls her "JR's little stooge", and says she doesn't buy it...and Alan chimes in and admonishes Kristin for brazenly lying. When Kristin insists it's the truth, Lucy declares that she's suddenly decided on a wedding date: June 14. Alan perks up at this unexpected development and gives his fiancee a blechy smooch.
Later, Alan assures Lucy that he's done with Betty Lou, and is only into her...and would like the chance to prove it in the sack. Lucy rebuffs his advances and says she has to get home 'cause she has a class early in the morning.
The next day, JR asks Kristin whassup with blurting out that falsehood about Betty Lou to Alan last night, then blames her for provoking Lucy to set a wedding date...which means that she and Alan will be taking up permanent residence at Southfork, which in turn could lead to Gary and Val to start "swarming around". Not sure why he assumes that those two would ever want to step foot on Southfork again. He breaks the news to Kristin that he's reinstating Louella as his secretary, but that he'll allow her to continue living in the condo until she makes arrangements to move out of state. A crestfallen looking Kristin is all, "Out of state..?" and reminds him that she has enough dirt on him to cause plenty of trouble. JR snarlingly asks her if she plans on blackmailing him, and she adjusts her tone and coos that she has no desire to hurt him.
Pam drops by Cliff's newly straightened up apartment and is pleasantly surprised to find him showered, clean shaven, and dressed in a suit. When she asks what brought about this transformation, he tells her he took a good hard look at himself, then gives her the bum's rush out 'cause he has several important phone calls he needs to make in private.
Bobby finds Lucy moping on the patio. He tells her he totally gets her being mad at JR for the way he's always manipulating people into doing what he wants them to do - but points out that spite is probably not the best reason to legally bind herself to a douchetard like Alan Beam. Lucy stares blankly into space and says she has no idea what she's going to do 'bout that, then thanks him for caring about her.
While dining out, Lucy comes right out and tells Alan she doesn't love him enough to get married...and that if she went through with it, she'd just be using him to spite JR. Alan pales and cries, "But things were going so well!" - but she's like, "Mmm...not so much" and gives him back his engagement ring.
Alan arrives at Betty Lou’s apartment and finds her with her bags packed, about to leave town. She tells him that talking to JR the other day made her realize how stupid it is to continue a clandestine relationship with someone who's barely worth dating publicly, then snarls that he can have Lucy and his fancy new law firm job without her. As she storms out of the apartment, Alan stares after her despondently.
Lucy returns to Southfork and announces to the family that she called off the wedding when it finally dawned on her that she didn't love Alan enough to want to get married. As Jock and Miss Ellie cluck with disappointment, Lucy asks JR what he thinks of all this...and he feigns indifference and says, "It's your life, honey" before heading upstairs with Sue Ellen. The two act canoodly en route to the bedroom - but once they're behind closed doors Sue Ellen snarls at him to get his shitty hands off of her and spells out her devious plan: convince the Ewing clan that she's the best wife and mother they've ever seen and hope it helps her get custody of Baby John when she files for divorce. JR's all, "Wha-a-a-a?" as he stares back at her in shocked bewilderment.
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