Dallas - Season 3, Episode 2

"I suppose you're all expecting me to raise this mewling creature."

"Whatever Happened to Baby John? Part 2"
Original airdate: 9/28/1979

Episode summary: The Ewings wait for word on Baby John, who safely turns up before the end credits roll.

---

Recap: The Dallas police are questioning the hospital staff about the missing Ewing baby...and they're also asking Sue Ellen about anything she might know about that could help them piece together what might have happened to the premature tot. Sue Ellen stares mournfully into space and murmurs, "It's all my fault...I've done terrible things..." and the cop kind of perks up at the quasi-confession and asks her to please elaborate. JR appears in the doorway and cuts the interrogation short, then barks at the cop for going down "the wrong path" with his spacey wife. He explains that she [rightly] blames herself for boozing it up throughout her pregnancy, which led to the alcohol-fueled car accident, which then caused the fetal alcohol syndrome baby to be born prematurely. JR insists that neither he nor his wife knows anything about the abduction and should be allowed to go home, and the cop mulls that over and agrees to release them from questioning. He tells JR he'll probably get a ransom call soon, then says he'll arrange for the Southfork phone to be tapped. He sternly warns JR to follow the proper procedures and not try resolving the matter by going around law enforcement...the way he did when Bobby was kidnapped by those weird yokels last season. 

Jock is in a remote area of Southfork treating sick cows when a rancher drives over in a pickup truck and tells him that Miss Ellie needs him at the house asap. 

Miss Ellie is weeping in the fugly nursery when Jock enters the room and asks whassup. She wails, "It's the baby! He's been kidnapped!" and Jock scrunches his grizzled face confusedly and is all, "Wha-a-a?"

Lucy and Bobby arrive at Southfork after being summoned by Miss Ellie and race into the house to see what's going on. When Miss Ellie tells them about the baby's kidnapping, Bobby looks alarmed and says he's going to head back into town to fetch Pam and bring her to the safety of the Southfork ranch. JR, meanwhile, returns with a dazed looking Sue Ellen and explains to everyone that the doctor gave her a sedative so she can wander around the house in an even more zombie-like state than she was doing in Part 1. He also introduces Detective Rollins, who's been assigned to put a tap on the phone in case the kidnapper calls with a ransom demand.

Pam is ambling downtown when she passes a street vendor who happens to have his radio tuned to a local news station, which just happens to be reporting on the missing Ewing baby, John Ross III. She gasps in horror, then runs into Bobby in front of the department store where she works. He asks her if she's seen Cliff today, and she tells him she hasn't, nor has his secretary. From that Bobby deduces that Cliff must be the kidnapper, then starts railing about how much the man hates the Ewings. Pam argues that her brother would never do a horrible thing like kidnap a baby, and Bobby's like, "Would, did" and storms off...forgetting that his sole reason for coming into the city was to ferry Pam back to Southfork for safekeeping. Pam heads over to the nearest pay phone and leaves a message for Cliff to call her asap.

"Cliff would never kidnap a baby."

"He's not in his office at the moment: irrefutable proof that he is the kidnapper."

The Ewings are camped out in the living room, snacking on delicious sandwiches and waiting for a ransom call. A grey haired woman named Mrs. Reeves arrives at Southfork and says she's the baby nurse...and Miss Ellie's like, "Shit! I totally forgot I hired her!" She explains to Mrs. Reeves that the baby she was supposed to be caring for just got kidnapped, but figures 'ah what the hell, the kid'll turn up eventually' and shows the nurse to her new live-in digs. LOL.

Pam convinces Cliff's landlord to let her into his apartment so she can wait for him and/or search for any clues as to where he might have gone.

JR decides he can't sit around Southfork any longer, waiting for a ransom call, and announces that he's heading back to the office. He goes upstairs to fetch his handgun, and gently coos at Sue Ellen to continue laying uselessly in bed while the rest of the family sorts out The Missing Baby Situation.

When the phone rings, Jock answers, scrunches his grizzled face confusedly, and barks, "Now wait a minute! Hello? Hello?" He then explains to Detective Rollins that the woman on the other end claimed she stole the baby, is sorry, and will deliver him near the flagpole at City Hall. Detective Rollins' is like, "We're on it!" and rushes out of the house with Jock...and also Ray, who doesn't look as though he's been given anything better to do this episode.   

"What's this about a chase involving a wild goose?"

"I think we just got a promising lead."

Jeb Ames calls JR and tells him he requires a favor in exchange for the safe return of his son...and by favor, he means a briefcase filled with a million dollars cash.

Jock arrives at City Hall and walks over to the flagpole to wait for the baby delivery.

Sue Ellen wakes up, stumbles over to the nursery, and natters about how neither Cliff nor JR is ever going to hurt her again. She declares, "No one will hurt me anymore", then stares down at the empty crib and snidely adds, "Not even you" and stumbles out of the room.

Miss Ellie phones JR and tells him about the fool's errand Jock went on at City Hall, and JR sourly declares it a hoax. Sue Ellen, meanwhile, stumbles into the living room and sinks herself into the nearest sofa chair. A few seconds later, Mrs. Reeves bounds in, a little too cheerily considering the circumstances she's suddenly found herself in, and pours fresh coffee for everyone. 

JR calls his money man, Vaughn Leland, and says he needs a million dollars cash neatly stacked into a briefcase, and asks him to please keep quiet about it. 

Bobby storms off half-cocked to Cliff's workplace and barges into his office. Cliff's secretary yells at him to get the hell out as he rummages through the papers on Cliff's desk and checks the appointment calendar. He screeches, "He has no appointments today!" then storms out of the building and squeals off in his car. What an addled fucktard he is this episode.

Cliff arrives in his apartment and is pleasantly surprised to see Pam waiting for him. He says he heard the news about the Ewing baby kidnapping on his way home from Austin...and when Pam asks him if he had anything to do with it, he looks miffed that she'd even ask him such a thing. She warns him that Bobby assumes he's the culprit and is storming around Dallas like a mental patient off his meds, and Cliff rolls his eyes and says he's really not scared of her stupid nitwit of a husband.

Jock is still standing next to the flagpole at City Hall and is staring to look peeved.​

Bobby storms over to Cliff's apartment, snaps, "You've gone too far!", then berates Pam for always defending her brother. Cliff calmly tells him he had nothing to do with the kidnapping, has a rock solid alibi 'cause he was in Austin all day, and urges Bobby to chill the fuck out so the three of them can put their heads together and figure out who the actual kidnapper is. 

Detective Rollins declares Mission Flagpole a hoax, and suggests to Jock and Ray that they return to Southfork and haplessly sit by the phone some more.

JR collects a briefcase containing one million dollars from Vaughn Leland and thanks him for helping him save his son's life. Vaughn tut tuts him for not involving the FBI in the ransom demand, but JR's like, "Meh" and promises to pay him the money back asap. 

Bobby, Pam, and Cliff arrive at Denver Memorial Hospital and demand access to patients' records, as well as the hospital staff so they too can be questioned. Dr. Freilich points out that the police already did all this - but Bobby gets all in his face and says it's the least he could do for allowing someone to just walk out of the hospital with a high value Ewing baby. Dr. Freilich immediately caves and grants them access to anything they want, no doubt violating whatever kind of privacy policy the hospital must have in place. 

"We demand access to all patient and hospital staff records, despite having absolutely no authority to do so."

"Your wish is my command, Lord Ewing."

JR returns to his office with the cash filled briefcase - just as Jeb Ames calls to inform him that he'll be dropping by soon. He warns JR not to try anything - 'cause while they're meeting, Willie Joe will be with the baby, looming over him with a tiny hangman's noose. When he hangs up, Jeb cackles and tells Willie Joe that JR fell for it, then adds, "It's a stroke of luck that someone snatched that kid" and laugh about how they're about to get a lot of money without even having to commit a crime. Except extortion, which in this case is a first degree felony. 

Pam suddenly remembers a dark haired woman she saw staring into the NICU window during the previous episode and wonders if maybe she saw something that could help them find the kidnapper. She rushes over to the nurse to get her to help explore that theory further.

Back at the ranch, a strangely perky Mrs. Reeves tries to buoy Sue Ellen's dazed spirits by telling her not to give up hope about her missing spawn, and that she should believe everything's going to be A-OK by the time this two-parter concludes. 

Pam arrives at the home of Priscilla Duncan, while Bobby and Cliff hang back on the sidewalk. Priscilla invites her in and tells Pam she heard all about the kidnapping on the news, then doubts that she can be of any real help. Pam fishes a business card out of her purse and asks her to call her if she remembers anything...but just as she's about to exit the house, she hears the sound of a baby crying. Priscilla perks up and says, "That's my baby!" and goes into the next room to retrieve him, and Pam sticks her head out the door and summons Bobby and Cliff over and reminds them that the nurse had told them that Priscilla Duncan's premature baby had died in the hospital. Priscilla, meanwhile, emerges from the other room with the baby in her arms, and Bobby and Cliff notice that he's still wearing the hospital bracelet with the name Ewing. Bobby gently tells Priscilla that they saw her hospital records and therefore know for a fact that this child this couldn't possibly be her baby - but she insists he is, backs away, and wails, "Pleeeeease don't take him away!" Pam promises they won't, and will wait patiently until she's ready to hand him over. OMFG, just call 911, Pam.

Jeb Ames arrives at JR's office to collect his ransom money. JR snaps, "Where's my boy?" and Jeb says that once he leaves the building with the cash, Willie Joe will call him and let him know how to find his baby...'cause, yep, that sounds totally trustworthy, LOL. When the phone happens to ring at that moment, Jeb tells JR he'll let him mull over the ridiculous terms of the money-baby exchange while he fixes himself a drink. The phone call is from Bobby, informing JR that, long story short, they found his baby at some deranged woman's house and are bringing him to the ranch now. JR hangs up the phone, smashes the glass out of Jeb's hand, and pulls out his gun and snarks, "Are you trying to make a fool of me?" Well, d'yuh. He orders him to get the hell out of his office - and Jeb agrees to leave, but warns that he and Willie Joe aren't done harassing him for all the fallout from the Tina Louise killing.

"After I leave with the money, Willie Joe will send you on a scavenger hunt containing clues about where you can find your baby."

"Are you trying to make a fool outa me? Don't answer, it was a rhetorical question."

Cliff, Bobby, and Pam stand around Priscilla's apartment and quietly dish about how messed up Priscilla is after being dumped by her husband, then suffering the loss of her baby. Cliff remarks that she should probably look into getting herself some psychiatric care now that she's committed a serious crime that should probably have involved police intervention by now. Priscilla enters the room, still holding the baby, and announces that she's finally ready to hand him over to his bio mom...and everyone's like, "Fantastic!" as they exit the apartment together.

Pam and Bobby drive Priscilla to Southfork (!), usher her into the house - past Detective Rollins no less, LOL - and position her in front of where Sue Ellen is sitting so she can apologize for "the terrible thing" she did after her baby died. She says she didn't want to believe her preemie was gone, and somehow convinced herself that John Ross III was her baby. Sue Ellen just stares back at her with glazed over eyes.

"Sorry for stealing your baby."

"That's OK. Feel free to keep him as long as you want."

With the eyes of the entire Ewing family upon her, Sue Ellen takes the baby from Priscilla, then looks visibly irked when JR puts his arm around her and smiles as if there's nothing at all weird about his wife's lackluster response to a kidnapper being escorted into his home to return their newborn son without any police-related repercussions that we are made aware of. 

Crawl away, John Ross III! Crawl fast and far. 

Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!

---