Recap: JR is in his office, confirming reservations at the Golden Horseshoe for Jock's upcoming birthday party. Kristin sashays into his office and purringly says she hopes he can make it to her condo for a much needed booty call later, but he's like, "No can do" and tells her it's family night, then breezily asks for a rain check...and she pouts unhappily after him as he rushes out of the office.
The Ewings gather at the Golden Horseshoe to celebrate Jock's birthday...and he gruffly thanks his sons for organizing this dinner party while waving his gift - an expensive looking watch - in the air. Alan Beam makes a coordinated-with-JR appearance at the restaurant with a small group of friends, and saunters over to the Ewing table to tell JR that he has no hard feelings about their contrived brawl during the Rodeo episode. JR snappishly retorts that he's not welcome here, not least 'cause he's brazenly wearing a Barnes for Congress button. As Bobby rolls his eyes, JR "demands to know" from Alan how much Cliff Barnes is paying him for his loyalty, then fake grumbles about how he paid him a fortune when he represented Ewing Oil, but was unable to get his loyalty. Alan quips, "Too bad you never learned you can't buy loyalty; you have to inspire it" ... then chuckles and faux dickishly adds, "You couldn't inspire a dog to sit up and beg." As Lucy openly laughs at his sassy 'tude, JR snaps at Alan to get lost, then gets up and makes a lunging motion in his direction. Jock breaks up the fake fight and irritably announces to the Ewing clan that it's time to pack up their doggie bags and go home. A smitten looking Lucy sneaks over to Alan to applaud his sass, but JR swiftly intervenes and drags her away.
The next morning, Bobby wryly tells JR that he and Alan put on quite a show during dinner, and JR's like, "Thanks, bro. I thought it worked out well." LOL. Bobby asks him if he really thinks that Cliff is dumb enough to buy this phony rift between Alan and the Ewings, and JR's like, "D'yuh" and points out that Cliff scored high on the gullibility scale when he fell for his/Alan's falling out during the rodeo...and adds that Cliff is only too eager to believe that a man like Alan would choose to be on his side.
During breakfast on the Southfork patio, JR opens the newspaper and remarks on how his tiff with Alan made the gossip column...and an intrigued Lucy reads the paper from over his shoulder and laughingly tells Bobby and Pam that the article claims Alan would have "wiped JR out" if Jock hadn't intervened. JR shoots her the stink-eye and argues that the paper does not say that - just as Sue Ellen enters the patio to announce that she's off to another appointment with her therapist. After a brief back-and-forth between her and JR, during which he mocks her ongoing therapy as her "latest medical charity", she stonily sashays to her car. When Bobby chides JR on being an insensitive dickwad regarding his wife's mental health needs, JR grumbles about how much he hates that she tells Ewing secrets to an outsider.
Lucy arrives at Alan's Barnes for Congress campaign office and coquettishly slips Alan a hundred dollar bill to support the faux cause. Alan chuckles and remarks that JR surely wouldn't approve of her donation, and she gigglingly replies that it's kinda the point...and that she looooves gazing at the man who's been giving JR so much grief lately. When Alan invites her to dinner, she glumly tells him she has to decline on account of her granddad grounding her for getting too many speeding tickets...and he refrains from asking how it is that a fully grown woman can be grounded by her grandfather, then gives her his card and urges her to give him a call if she's somehow able to meet him for dinner.
Sue Ellen is railing to Dr. Ellby about how JR regularly mocks their therapy sessions, then assures him that their appointments are helping her so much she's starting to question why in blazes she's still married to JR and living at Southfork. She then rails about two men in her life who have so shamelessly used her - JR and Cliff - then says, on a pleasanter note, she's starting to despise her baby less...even though she still isn't able to show the little gaffer the lukewarm feelings she now has for him. She says she has the same problem with Dusty, then stares forlornly at Dr. Ellby and cries, "Whyyyyyy?" He just kind of shrugs and tells her she has to learn how to trust, and that that's going to take time and a helluva lot more therapy.
Alan proudly shows Cliff all of the fake donations he's received from faux supporters, and Cliff looks buoyed by the high level of public support and applauds Alan for doing such a great job. He tells Alan he's still not willing to resign from the OLM until he can be absolutely sure he'll be a congressional shoo-in at the time of the election, then says he was delighted to read about his skirmish with JR at the Golden Horseshoe. When Cliff heads back to work, Alan calls JR and tells him he's going to need more funding to keep this fake congressional campaign alive - but JR says he first wants to see some tangible results. Alan reports that Cliff fell for their fake brawl at the Golden Horseshoe, and that he's pretty sure Cliff is on the verge of formally announcing his candidacy. JR cackles delightedly.
Bobby and Pam are strolling downtown, perpetuating the show's tediously relentless &%$* Ewing-Barnes feud. Pam rails about how the Ewings are trying to get Cliff disbanded from the OLM, and Bobby argues that Cliff is using his position at the OLM to put the screws to Ewing Oil and needs to be reined in asap...blah blah.
JR is meeting with the company lawyer, Harv Smithfield, who heard about his public beef with Alan Beam. Harv offers to fire Alan from his law firm, and JR says that while he appreciates the offer, it might not look good for Ewing Oil to be responsible for having a man fired for his political beliefs, and advises him to keep Alan installed at the firm.
Cliff runs into Sue Ellen downtown and says hey and asks her how the baby's doing. She glares at him as she tells him that the tot is beautiful and healthy, then stonily says, "Have a good day" and stalks off.
Lucy is on the phone with her bespectacled gal pal Muriel and implores her to lie to Jock about how desperately she needs her help studying for a history test...'cause, yeah, that's believable. When Lucy hears Jock approach, she dials up the volume as she says, "I'd like to help you out, Muriel, but you know how granddad is - there's no point in asking." When Jock's all, "Whassup?", Lucy tells him that Muriel wants to ask him something, then shoves the phone receiver in his hand. A nervous looking Muriel tells him she's having an awful time studying for her history test and is convinced she'll fail if she doesn't get help from renowned history buff, Lucy Ewing. Jock decides 'yep, that sounds entirely plausible' and tells Lucy she's temporarily un-grounded so she can aid her friend in need. Lucy's like, "Yay!" ... and once Jock is out of earshot, she calls Alan and arranges to meet up with him for dinner.
Pam drops by Cliff's apartment for dinner, and he tells her he ran into Sue Ellen, who told him that her baby is doing well. Pam concurs that the tot is indeed healthy for the moment, then asks him if he's seriously considering running for Congress. Cliff says he's still mulling it over - one advantage of getting elected being his ability to win Sue Ellen back, 'cause he figures she'd leave JR in a New York minute if she had the chance to hook up with a powerful congressman. Pam points out that Sue Ellen doesn't love him, and that since getting elected to Congress isn't easy, he shouldn't give up his plum OLM job for a fantasy. Cliff totally ignores the last part of what she just said and says that once he's elected to Congress he'll have the power to finish off the Ewings for good...then reveals that he has a report that proves Ewing Oil secretly leased oil fields off the coast of Asia, which will make the Ewings mega rich if the wells strike oil. Pam scrunches her face confusedly and says that foreign leases cost millions, and that Bobby has told her over and over again that all of Ewing Oil's capital is currently tied up. Cliff says that clearly Bobby is lying to her, 'cause he has irrefutable proof that Ewing Oil has spent gazillions on the foreign leases. Pam stares back at him, aghast.
During dinner, Lucy stares dreamily at Alan and gabbles about how thrilled she is to be out on a date with someone JR hates so much. Alan says he doesn't want to get in the way of her weird uncle issues and general family dysfunction and would understand it if just wanted to dump him and flee - but Lucy giggles conspiratorially and tells him that their budding romance could be their little secret. Alan grins and coos, "That's my girl", then stares creepily at her as he calls her beautiful and suggests they head over to his place for a roll in the hay.
The next morning, Bobby tells Jock that his above board efforts to oust Cliff from the OLM are going well, and that he's expecting the authorities to open an investigation into Cliff's abuse of power at the OLM any minute now. He says that, unlike JR, he wants to handle the Cliff Situation fairly and legally - but Jock grizzles that politics is a lot like ranching, aka "sometimes you have to get your hands dirty".
Pam coldly asks Bobby if he's succeeded in ruining Cliff's career yet, then screeches, "You lied to me!" When Bobby stares back at her with his usual wooden blankness, she asks him where Ewing Oil is getting all the money to buy up foreign oil leases...and when Bobby's default expression remains unaltered, she blabs that Cliff is in possession of a report that proves Ewing Oil's recent purchases of Asian leases.
Lucy drives over to Barnes for Congress headquarters and pulls up behind Alan, who doesn't notice her parked behind him and hits the gas. Lucy decides it'd be fun to follow him to wherever he's driving, so she trails after him to a nearby park. She watches in growing horror as he secretly meets up with JR, with whom he exchanges an unmistakable shit-eating grin and conspiratorial looking handshake. Lucy's all 'the fuck?' and looks troubled as she flounces back to her car and squeals off.
Sue Ellen is railing to her therapist about how Cliff is only interested in her 'cause he wants what JR has. She then tears up and vows to rebuff Cliff's advances, not least 'cause of the intense hatred she now feels for him.
Bobby is going through his Rolodex of contacts to get to the bottom of whatever nefariousness JR has been up to lately. He calls local rig leaser, Herb Reynolds, to see if he's he's been in contact with JR lately...and Herb says he hasn't, but hopes to do business with Ewing Oil again soon. Bobby scratches his name off his list and calls Roy Tate, who he tricks into revealing that he's been involved in JR's new "top secret Asian deal". When Roy expresses surprise that Bobby seems to know all about it, Bobby wryly says there are no secrets in the Ewing family, then thanks him for unwittingly spilling the beans.
Lucy wraps up cheerleading practice with Muriel, who suggests they both go to a co-ed party this evening. Lucy irritably says she's still grounded and far too cranky to go...and an insulted Muriel tells her where she can shove her moody 'tude.
Alan is in his apartment, canoodling with his hot blonde girlfriend Betty Lou, when a heartbroken looking Lucy leans on his doorbell. When Alan finally decides to answer the door, he's shocked to see a tearful Lucy, who snarls at him for being a liar who merely pretended to stand up to JR. She yells about what a giant arse he's made of her, and calls him out on colluding with JR to create the illusion that they're feuding. As she scampers off, Alan dashes back into the apartment and says aloud that he needs to call JR asap. When Betty Lou asks him why in blazes he'd be calling JR Ewing, he tells her he's onto something big...and by big, he means they're going to have to cool off their relationship for the foreseeable future. As Betty Lou stares at him in shocked bewilderment, he explains that since Lucy is so hot for him, he can't help but wonder what it'd mean if he took total advantage of the situation, then threw caution and all common sense to the wind by marrying the blonde munchkin. Betty Lou tears up, stares at him with a look of incredulity, and asks, "What about me?" Alan says he can't pass up this golden opportunity to marry into a wealthy Dallas family, and weakly promises that eventually they'll both have everything they've ever wanted. Betty Lou shakes her head at the nonsensical pronouncement, calls him a rotten jerk, and storms out of the apartment.
JR is at Kristin's condo, engaging in some heavy smooching action when his beeper goes off. He immediately contacts Alan, who tells him that Lucy saw them at the park earlier, and that he's worried she'll blow the entire Cliff for Congress Operation. JR promises to sort it out, then tells Kristin he has an urgent family matter to take care of.
Bobby is laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, when Pam turns the light on and urges him to talk to her. He insists that he has absolutely no idea where all the money for Ewing Oil's new leases came from, but that - by golly - he'll do his best to get to the bottom of it. Pam assures him she now believes him and leans in for a kiss.
The next morning, JR picks up the phone receiver, waits for Lucy to get within hearing range, and pretends to be on the phone with Harv Smithfield. He tells Harv he did his darnedest to talk sense into Alan the other day - but he refused to listen to reason and is firmly in Cliff Barnes' camp. He then gives Harv the green light to fire Alan from his law firm...and an eavesdropping Lucy smiles in relieved delight. Even though the secret meeting she witnessed in the park doesn't resemble at all what JR is now trying to peddle.
Bobby calls JR out on buying oil leases in Asia, and JR looks aghast and asks him how he knows 'bout that. Bobby says it's none of his business and points out that there's no record on the books regarding these purchases and assumes that Jock has no knowledge of it either. JR says he didn't want to worry Jock, and that he's sneakily venturing into an overseas business deal in an effort to save/grow the company. When Bobby asks him where the money's coming from, JR tells him not to worry his pretty little head about it and beats a hasty retreat from the office.
Lucy tells Alan she's sooooo sorry for jumping to conclusions, and he flirtily suggests they go somewhere and talk...and by somewhere, he means straight to his apartment, where they hit the sheets, then feed each other fruit. Lucy asks him if there's anything going on with the woman he was at the Golden Horseshoe with earlier in the episode, and Alan chuckles and says she has nothing to worry about 'cause no one matters to him as much to him as she does...and by she, he means her family's wealth and power.
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