Recap: Bobby leaves his office for a meeting with his architect...while JR is on the phone with a yokelly business associate, Jeb Ames, assuring him he's not going to go bankrupt. When Jeb continues to freak out about his finances, JR invites him and his sidekick, Willie Joe Garr, to drop by Ewing Oil for a face-to-face chat. As Bobby walks down the street, he hears someone yell, "Bobby!" ... and when he turns around, he sees a football hurtling towards him. He catches it, then grins and yells, "Guzzler!" and a fuzzy-headed, lanky guy runs over, and the two hug like long-lost friends...which, apparently, they are. They head to the nearest restaurant to eat, drink, and get caught up on their lives. Bobby tells Guzzler he's running a fledgling construction company, and that JR is at the helm of Ewing Oil. Guzzler makes a blech face at the mention of JR, then says that he's currently building high rises in Venezuela and is in Dallas to meet with some bankers to discuss financing options. Bobby invites him to stay at Southfork while he's in town...and after pretending he couldn't possibly impose, Guzzler takes Bobby up on the offer and the two agree to meet up for dinner. JR assures Jeb and Willie Joe that they'll strike oil one day soon - but Jeb despondently says he's drilled in eleven locations, has come up dry eleven times, and is starting to panic. Willie Joe reminds JR about the "red file land" on Southfork, and JR nods and says that that land is sure to produce oil for generations. Jeb says he'd like to start drilling there, like pronto, but JR informs him that Jock's last will and testament contains a clause that forbids any drilling on the property until after his death. Willie Joe says he may not be able to hold out until Jock kicks the bucket, so JR says he'd be willing to give them an advance on their share if they continue to do business with Ewing Oil. Jeb tells JR he'd like to confirm that the land is still oil rich by bringing a geologist by to do some testing, and JR agrees - but under one condition: Miss Ellie isn't to know anything about this, and she's not to see any strange men roaming around the property 'cause it might all be too much for her delicate sensibilities. That evening, Guzzler arrives at Southfork by taxi with his suitcase. When Bobby introduces him to Pam, he's like, "Wowzers!" and remarks on how super hot she is - which was weird and awkward - and in the next scene, he's regaling the Ewings at the dinner table with over-the-top stories of his various life adventures. Jock looks suitably entertained and suggests they all retreat to the sitting room for brandy, but JR hangs back and covertly tells Sue Ellen he's sneaking upstairs 'cause he's had enough of Guzzler's phony bullcack and incessant name dropping. Sue Ellen says she finds the man fascinating, then sneaks into the study to call Cliff to arrange a rendezvous on Sunday...which is weird, 'cause I thought those two agreed to call it quits in the Act of Love episode.
As Guzzler continues to tell tales, Lucy looks smitten...as does Jock, who invites him to stick around Southfork for awhile. Bobby challenges Guzzler to an impromptu game of football, and as the two head outside, Guzzler tells him he has a great family. On Saturday, Bobby gives Guzzler a tour of his various residential construction projects in progress, and an unimpressed Guzzler tells Bobby he's wasting his time with these small projects, and that they demonstrate a lack of confidence. He suggest launching something YUGE - like high-rises - but Bobby reminds him that he's just starting out with his new company...and that if he were to take on a big project, he'd need someone on board with experience - like him, for example. Guzzler pretends to have issues with moving in on a Ewing company, but then agrees to enter into a partnership. Pam wakes up at 3:00am and does not look happy that she's in bed alone. A cab pulls up at Southfork, and Bobby and Guzzler spill out of the back seat, acting drunk and giggly. Pam glares at them from the window, then emerges from the patio door. When Bobby trips over his own feet, Guzzler picks him up, tosses him over his shoulder and carries him inside. He deposits Bobby onto his bed, then sniffs in Pam's direction and tells her she smells great and has luscious lips that are in desperate need of kissing. He advances on her, but an icked out Pam shoves him away, reminds him she's Bobby's wife - not some cheap floozy - and tells him to get lost. Guzzler mulls over her revulsion for a few seconds, then drunkenly staggers out of the room.
The next morning, JR tells Sue Ellen that he's off to a work meeting and will be home around 3:00pm. Sue Ellen tells him she has a lunch date with the reverend and his wife, and smirks to herself about her actual, sexy plans with Cliff. Guzzler is frolicking in the Ewing pool, and swims up behind Pam, who's suntanning on her chair floatie. When he splashes her, she snarks at him to leave her alone and climbs out of the pool. Guzzler looks puzzled by her reaction, and is all, "Whassup?", not remembering [or pretending to not remember] his drunken actions from the night before. Bobby suddenly appears and leaps into the pool...and Guzzler jumps in after him. When Pam storms off in disgust, Guzzler jokes to Bobby that it looks like he's in big trouble. Jeb, a geologist, and a small crew of men arrive at the outer edge of Southfork to test the land for oil. The geologist confirms that there is, in fact, a shit ton of oil located below the surface of this land - to the tune of 7,000 barrels a day. Bobby explains to Pam that he and Guzzler got carried away last night for old time's sake. She asks how long the deadbeat fuzz-head is going to be hanging around, so Bobby tells her he's trying to convince Guzzler to stay in Dallas for the long term so that the two of them can form a construction company together. Pam snarks that she has zero desire to search the bars for him every night, and Bobby accuses her of being controlling and jealous, just like JR. She's like, "Well d'yuh!" and says she resents being made to feel like she's competing with Guzzler, then gets angry about it all over again and tells him to go away and play with his stupid friend. Bobby drives Guzzler to the outer edge of Southfork, points at the vast empty land, and proposes they build a shopping center here. Bobby tells Jock about his idea - but Jock says that Miss Ellie would never go for it...not that he's a big fan of cutting up Southfork for commercial purposes either. Bobby says he'd never miss the land, and points out that it's adjacent to a highway. Jock agrees to think it over, but says he'd also like JR's opinion on the matter. Lucy and Guzzler are sitting on the patio together, looking cozy and smitten with each other - which, assuming Lucy is still a teenager attending high school...gross. What is it with grown ass men on Dallas wanting to get it on with this schoolgirl?? Guzzler flirtily tells her she reminds him of a woman he once doinked, and Lucy blushes and suggests they go for a drive together...and the two walk toward the house, arm in arm. They suddenly encounter Pam, who glares at Guzzler in disgust and sternly asks whassup...so a sheepish Guzzler suggests to Lucy that they go swimming instead. When Lucy scampers into the house to change, Guzzler asks Pam why she's mad at him and says it's important that they be friends. She snippily asks him what he had in mind for Lucy, and he says they were planning on going for a drive, then smarmily adds, "I never plan what happens with a woman." Pam asks him if all women [or high school students] are fair game, and he smiles lecherously and says, "I enjoy women very much. Some of them reciprocate it." He asks her what he did that offended her so much, and she tells him she doesn't like what's happened to Bobby since his arrival. Guzzler tells her he looooves Bobby...then plays his tiny violin as he explains that he never had siblings, his mother died when he was just a wee one, and his father wasn't the affectionate sort. When he met Bobby in college, he quickly became someone Bobby looked up to. Pam softens and apologizes for her bitchitude, and concedes that maybe there's more to him that she initially thought. Actually, Pam...I'm pretty sure there's less.
JR, Bobby, and Jock are surveying the land that Bobby is proposing as the site for his and Guzzler's new shopping center...and JR looks troubled 'cause it's the oil-rich land Jeb's geologist was just testing the other day. Jock tells Bobby about the clause in his will about drilling on the land, and that it also existed in Miss Ellie's father's will too. JR offers to help Bobby look for a different parcel of land, and Jock agrees and says he doesn't like the idea of opening up this part of Southfork for any commercial purposes. JR tells Bobby he can build a bunch of stores anywhere, and Jock says he plans to discuss all of this with Miss Ellie. Miss Ellie sits in a chair and stares into space, tells Jock she doesn't like the idea of using any part of Southfork to build a shopping center...but then reverses herself a few seconds later and tells him to allow Bobby to build the shopping center. Er...OK. JR does not look happy with her decision. Jeb and Willie Joe arrive at Ewing Oil and tell JR they heard about Bobby's plans to build a shopping mall on the oil rich parcel of Southfork. They remind him that they have an agreement to share in the profits of that oil, and that it's the basis of every deal they make. Jeb then scrunches his face all sinister-like and warns JR that he'll personally stop Bobby from building anything on that land, and JR advances on him, backhands him across the face (!) and snarls, "Don't you ever threaten my brother. Or any other Ewing." As Jeb stares back at him in complete shock and incredulity, JR assures him he'll handle the situation, then orders Jeb and Willie Joe to get the hell out of his office.
Bobby and Guzzler are working the phones, trying to line up vendors for the new shopping center. JR, meanwhile, gets a call from his private investigator who managed to dig up some tasty gossip on Guzzler. Pam is out for lunch with JR, and she tells him she was surprised to get his call. He tells her that Guzzler is a scam artist who's going to bring harm to Bobby, then hands her a dossier that details his shitty pattern of abandoning his partners before the building projects have been completed, leaving them holding the bag. As a result, he has several fraud charges pending in various states. JR says that Bobby has a blind spot when it comes to Guzzler, then asks Pam to do whatever she can to put a stop to this ridiculous shopping center project so that Bobby doesn't get in too deep. In the Southfork study, Bobby tells Guzzler he'd like to scale down the shopping center - but Guzzler argues that they should go even more YUGE. Miss Ellie ambles into the study and glances over their blueprints for the project and mumbles, "Impressive" but doesn't look thrilled. She heads out to the patio, where she sits down and stares blankly into space. Bobby comes out to see whassup with her blank staring, so she tells him that the project is bigger than she thought it would be, and wonders if it's going to change Southfork forever. Bobby reminds her that they never actually use the land for anything, and Miss Ellie spacily asks, "Does everything have to be used? Can't some things just be?" A confused Bobby asks her why she approved the project if she has such a problem with it, so she tells him she loves her sons (except for Gary) more than acres of barren ranch land...and the two hug. Pam slips out of bed while Bobby is sleeping, and sneaks down the hall to where Guzzler is staying. He perks up at the sight of her in her nightie, and she's like, "Uh, no...eww..." and assures him that she's not here for his non-existent sex appeal, but rather to confront him about his pending fraud charges. She calls him a user of friends, family, and women and accuses him of taking Bobby for a sucker. Guzzler glares at her and asks her if she hired a detective to look into his sordid activities...and when she nods, he grimaces and says, "You win." Pam retorts, "Bobby loses", but Guzzler insists that he loves Bobby; however, ever since his college years ended, his life has been one giant fuckup of his own making after another. He asks her if she's going to rat him out to Bobby, and she just shrugs and leaves the room. Bobby, meanwhile, is awake and sitting on the side of the bed...and when Pam slips back into their room, he asks her what she was talking to Guzzler about. He adds that he knows all about the fraud cases and says he's not blind to Guzzler's general dickitude when it comes to his business partners. That said, he knows how much their partnership means to his dear friend, then points out to Pam that she only knows him for the scam artist he currently is - not the man he used to be. Pam sheepishly apologizes for hurting Guzzler's feelings...and as they hug, Bobby says he's now going to have to hurt him too. The next morning, Guzzler is decked out in his three-piece suit, ready to beat a hasty retreat from Southfork. Bobby tells him that the shopping center is getting too out of hand, and that maybe they should look for property elsewhere. Guzzler says he's going to have to pull out of the partnership and resume his high rise projects in Venezuela. [Hopefully he got some actual financing for them, and isn't planning on leaving his contractors high and dry.] As a cab pulls up, Bobby half-heartedly implores Guzzler to reconsider, and Guzzler says he'll think about it (though not really) and gets into the cab. After it drives off, Pam comes outside...and she and Bobby canoodle as they sadly stare after the cab. Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!
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