Recap: Bobby, Pam, Lucy, and Lucy's dumb looking boyfriend are enjoying a night at the - yee haw! - Mustang Club in downtown Dallas. They're watching a hot new singer named Garnet McGee - played by a young Kate Mulgrew - perform on stage. When she [mercifully] finishes her song, Lucy claps enthusiastically and gushes about how great she is, and Pam concurs that she's gotten pretty good since she last heard her sing, then explains that she's known Garnet for years. Ray, who's apparently dating Garnet, steers her over to a table...and the two sit together, order drinks, and canoodle. Bobby, Pam, Lucy, and Lucy's dumb looking boyfriend approach their table to compliment Garnet on her lovely voice, and Ray introduces her to everyone. Garnet makes a point of telling the rich Ewing folk that she's still waiting for her big break so she can start recording her music, and Ray assures her it'll happen one day soon. In the next scene, Ray and Garnet hit the dance floor for a slow song, and Pam glares over at them and tells Bobby she's worried about Ray 'cause of what a shameless opportunist Garnet is. Further to that point, she noticed that Garnet was also checking him (Bobby) out, and playfully chides him for being so irresistible.
Later, Ray is stretched out on Garnet's pull-out couch in all of his shirtless glory...which, blech and double blech. I can't help but wonder if the producers of this show wanted to portray Ray Krebbs as some kind of sexy pin-up for the lady viewers and then willfully ignored the horrendousness of what was going on with his pageboy hairdo and yokelly face - 'cause, barring that, there is no reasonable explanation for the frequency at which this man is gratuitously featured bare-chested on this show. Garnet asks Ray if he's ever considered leaving Southfork and getting a life of his own, and he tells her he now considers it his home and has no desire to go back to an aimless life of drifting. He tells her that Jock offered him the ranch hand job twenty years ago, and the two have gotten along famously ever since. Garnet asks him if he's ever considering getting with Lucy for the obvious financial benefits of marrying into the Ewing family (kind of a weird thing for her to be asking)...and Ray doesn't admit that, in fact, there has been an icky history of him boning the vapid tart who, even more ickily, will eventually turn out to be his niece. Instead, he just chuckles and pulls Garnet close and tells her that dating her for the last several months has been super awesome. Garnet stares sadly into space and asks him if he intends to die poor, then tells him the sad tale of how impoverished her family was. She finds that "the wantin' is like a disease that can't ever be cured", and Ray assures her that he can be more than enough for her, and she somehow refrains from letting out a loud caustic laugh at his adorable naïveté and plants him with a big smooch.
During breakfast at Southfork, Lucy announces to the family that she's decided to become a country/western singer and would like JR to hook her up with his music industry connections. JR immediately nixes that idea, and Sue Ellen obediently concurs and calls it absurd. Jock gruffly asks Lucy how this boneheaded idea managed to slip into her tiny brain...and Bobby interjects and says it was probably his fault, then explains that he and Pam took Lucy to see Garnet McGee perform at the Mustang Club the other night. Miss Ellie tells Lucy that trying to eke out a living as a singer is hard work and likely to be fraught with heartache and disappointment, then urges her to find something more practical. Lucy snaps, "Like what? Get married and have kids?" and Sue Ellen does her best to pretend as though her soul hasn't been slowly chipped away at after seven years of being married to a skirt-chasing scoundrel like JR, and says, "It's not so bad." Lucy rolls her eyes and says she'd prefer to do something more interesting with her life - but Jock barks at her to get the idea of being a singer out of her head, then gruffly admonishes Bobby for encouraging her.
Lucy heads over to the stables and complains to Ray about how her family never lets her do anything she wants, and says that when she told them she wanted to become a singer, they acted like she was proposing being a hooker. She then invokes their icky coupling, but Ray immediately shuts that down and suggests she work off her bad temper by going on a vigorous horseback ride.
Bobby tells Pam he's currently working with Fairaday on their construction plans. He tells her not to worry about Garnet's opportunistic motives and reminds her that Ray's life is none of her business. Pam agrees, then explains that she just wants to be sure that Ray always has the best in life.
Ray and Jock enjoy some male bonding as they lean against a fence and stare at cows.
That evening, the Ewings host a barbecue at Southfork (not sure for what occasion), and Ray brings Garnet as his date, which seems to deeply perturb Lucy. Bobby politely asks Garnet to dance, and she accepts and then gazes at him blushingly as they chitchat. After the song, Bobby ushers Garnet over to where Pam is standing, then is called away by Miss Ellie to say hello to an old family friend. Garnet remarks to a frosty Pam that she's surprised she married so well and now gets to live on such a swanky ranch...and Pam refrains from dishing about how Southfork definitely ain't all that. Garnet then says that Ray is sweet and all, but outright admits that she's just hanging onto him until someone better comes along. A few seconds later, Ray comes over and proudly introduces Garnet to Jock, and Garnet turns on the fake charm and invites Jock to dance. Ray beams after her and gushes to Pam, "Ain't she somethin'?" and Pam derisively snorts, "She's somethin' all right."
JR spots Garnet dancing with Jock and looks intrigued. He asks Lucy who the gal dancing with his daddy is, and Lucy dismissively retorts, "Just someone Ray brought." JR calls Ray over and asks him about the pretty little lady he brought to the barbecue, and Ray warns JR that he should try his best not to bone her 'cause she's kind of his girlfriend and therefore very special to him. JR chuckles, ignores everything that just came out of Ray's mouth, and makes a beeline over to Garnet to introduce himself (LOL)...and all of this greatly amuses Lucy (and me). JR asks Jock if he can cut in, and Garnet seems totally into it and giggles flirtatiously.
The next morning, Ray returns to the ranch after being summoned by Jock, still dressed in his party clothes from the night before - a clear indication that he spent the night with Garnet. Lucy emerges from the house, is irked when she notices he hasn't changed his clothes yet, and demands to know if he was with her last night. She snaps, "I like you to be there when I need you! I don't like it when you're not around!" then warns him to watch out, 'cause JR doesn't like seeing him canoodle with Garnet anymore than she does.
Ray finds Jock doing paperwork in his study. Jock exclaims, "You've got the quite the girl!" and says he'd like to bring Miss Ellie down to the Mustang Club for a rare night out so they can watch Garnet sing sometime. He asks Ray if he has any plans for his future, and Ray says he'd like to marry Garnet - once she's satisfied she can't attract a better looking, wealthier prospect. Jock asks him if getting married means he'd leave Southfork, and Ray mulls that over and says, "It's hard to say." Jock ceremoniously hands him an envelop, thanks him for slaving away at his ranch for the last twenty years, and says that the envelop contains a deed to some land somewhere on Southfork. Ray's all, "Wha-a-a?!" and looks overcome with gratitude.
JR takes Garnet out to a fancy restaurant...and she giggles, blushes, and looks totally into being wooed by the rich philanderer.
When JR drops off Garnet at her apartment building, he asks her if she's going to invite him in - but she reminds him that he's a married man, and therefore has no interest in the "little bits of time" he can offer. He insists he has a lot more than that to offer, but she pretends not to care and tries to push his buttons by saying that, unlike him, Ray is willing to give her everything he has. She thanks him for lunch and cockily sashays into her building...and JR stares after, grinning and visibly intrigued.
That evening, Ray watches Garnet perform at the Mustang Club and bobs his head to the beat. When Garnet finishes her set, Ray waves her over, and the two leave together. JR, who's covertly sitting at the bar, frowns his disapproval.
At breakfast the next morning, JR tells Jock he heard an unfounded rumor that the farmer in Odessa who recently bought a prize bull from them wants to sell the animal back to them 'cause he's having serious money problems. Jock scrunches his face concernedly and says that Ray will need to go on that wild goose chase and check it out. JR gleefully offers to pass along that request and heads out...and Lucy shakes her head in dismay, clearly aware of what JR is up to.
JR drives down to the stables to inform Ray that Jock is probably going to ask him to drive down to Odessa to look into the faux Prize Bull Dilemma. Ray says he's not thrilled about having to make the trip 'cause he had a bunch o' personal stuff he wanted to do today, but an unsympathetic JR barks, "Business before pleasure!" then smugly smirks and goes, "See ya!" before squealing off.
Ray tells Garnet that he has to drive down to Odessa, and invites her to come along. When she's like, "Hell no", he tries to sweeten the deal by proudly announcing that he's no longer just a yokelly-faced, penniless ranch hand; he's a landowner...and explains that Jock just gave him the deed to a plot of land on Southfork. He says that this land could mean a lot for their future, aka marriage - but Garnet makes a face at the mention of the word marriage and tells him she can't just up and go to Odessa when she's scheduled to sing at the Mustang Club. Ray sullenly says, "You don't want to marry me" and Garnet half-heartedly tries to assure him that she kinda cares about him somewhat, but has lots of stuff she'd like to accomplish before settling down. She firmly says she likes things the way they are and that's all he's going to get from her...then throws him a bone and orders him to go to Odessa, quickly get his bidness there done, then hurry back home to her.
JR calls music industry guru Dan Engels to set up a deal for Garnet, who he has summoned to his office. Garnet wryly tells him she knows he was behind Ray being sent to Odessa, and JR just shrugs indifferently and tells her she's going to be plenty busy dealing with her new record deal. He makes it clear that he's using Ewing money to support and build up her career and therefore wants 25% of her earnings and "exclusive use" of her services. Garnet agrees to 10%, but doesn't seem to have a problem with the requisite number of blow jobs that have been written into the deal. JR pours her a drink and toasts her success, then ushers her out of the Ewing Oil offices. Bobby happens to catch a glimpse of her and asks the secretaries, "Wuh? Was that Garnet McGee?" and they're like, "Yep."
Ray tracks down the farmer who bought the prize bull from the Ewings and learns that he has no money problems and therefore has no intention of selling the animal. The farmer says he's perplexed about how such a rumor got started, but Ray finally gets a clue and mutters that he has some idea, then rushes back to his truck to begin the long drive back to Dallas so he can give JR the what-for.
Lucy arrives at Ewing Oil to once again ask JR to help her kick-start her country/western singing career. She finds his office empty, so she snoops around and comes across the "studio time for blow jobs" contract he just had drawn up between Garnet and himself. JR returns and irritably asks her what she's doing here...and when she insists that she has enough talent to sing for a living, he firmly says no and reminds her that just a year ago she wanted to join the circus. LOL. Lucy gets miffed and threatens to tell Jock and/or Sue Ellen about his sleazy contract with Garnet - but JR just shrugs and says she can show it to whoever she likes, 'cause all it really shows is that Ewing Oil is branching out to other industries. He then snarls that if she does tattle on him about this, she'll be no better than her mama: "a scheming, blackmailing little tramp". Yeesh. Lucy glares at him hatefully and angrily storms out.
JR arrives at Garnet's apartment to deliver the contact. She gives it another once-over and then the two start smooching.
Sue Ellen is sitting up in bed, reading, when Miss Ellie drops by her room to see how she's coping with her morning sickness. Sue Ellen tells her mother-in-law that JR is meeting with Dan Engels all night, then makes a face and adds, "Or so he said." Miss Ellie dodges the awkwardness of having a son who everyone knows cheats on his wife as often as he changes his pants by smiling serenely and replying, "He's so lucky to have such an understanding wife!" and Sue Ellen pretends to admire how devoted her husband is to the family business. I'm not sure which of these women irks me more with their keep-the-status-quo servitude in deference to the shitty men in their lives. It's a toss-up, really.
After hitting the sheets, JR and Garnet laze in bed and play cards and booze it up. He asks about her upbringing, and she tells him she grew up very poor and didn't even have a pair of shoes that weren't hand-me-downs until she was sixteen years old. She says that growing up in poverty is the reason she's so greedy now, then asks him what his excuse is...and JR just shrugs and says, "I don't need one." Garnet grins and says, "That's what I like about you" and the two start going at it again. She asks him if he needs to be heading home anytime soon, but he tells her that his wife is very understanding...then brusquely orders her to end her relationship with Ray, and says if she fails to do it, he'll do it for her.
Ray returns to Southfork and reports back to Jock that JR must have gotten his wires crossed about the prize bull being up for re-sale. Jock scrunches his wrinkly face and goes, "That's weird. JR doesn't usually make those kinds of mistakes" and laments the fact that Ray just wasted an entire day driving to/from Odessa. He urges Ray to go to his hovel and get some rest.
Ray is about to phone Garnet when Lucy pops by his hovel and brazenly comes onto him. He pushes her away and says he's off to see his lady...and when Lucy pouts, he tries to be sympathetic about how horribly life has sucked for her, being forced to grow up on this hellish ranch with these dimwits. He then says it was very wrong to let their icky hookup go on for as long as it did and tells her he genuinely wants them to be friends. Lucy angrily calls him a fool for passing her over for Garnet, then gleefully says he won't have her much longer anyway, now that JR has taken a liking to her. Ray refuses to believe that and insists that he and Garnet will eventually get married, and Lucy laughs and tells him she saw a signed contract between Garnet and JR that included a sleazy, illegal sounding "exclusive service agreement". She adds that since JR hasn't come home yet, he's probably with her right now, accepting her gratitude with repeated penetration. Ray scrunches his dumb face concernedly and rushes out.
Pam is hanging out in the study when she hears Lucy shrieking after Ray as he storms over to his truck. Pam rushes out to see whassup, and Ray glares at her and snaps, "Bobby got you, I'll be damned if JR gets Garnet!" and squeals off. Pam rushes upstairs to tell Bobby what just happened, and Bobby springs into action and says he's heading over to Garnet's apartment, pronto.
A half dressed JR is giving Garnet one last canoodle on her pull-out couch when Ray bursts into the apartment for an awesome confrontation. After the initial shock of seeing JR mounting his lady, Ray grabs him and decks him with several really fake looking punches, then puts his hands around his neck and tries to choke the life out of him. A few minutes later, Bobby bursts into the room and saves his brother from strangulation by pulling Ray off of him. After Ray re-combobulates himself, he yells at the Ewing brothers that they buy whatever they want...and that he's so sick of their money and general cuntiness that he plans to clear off the ranch asap. He then glares at Garnet and growls, "You're no better than they are" and storms out in disgust...and Bobby runs out after him as JR struggles to his feet. Garnet reminds JR that their recording contract is still binding - and if he tries to worm his way out of it, she'll tell everyone about their blechy arrangement. JR sheepishly nods and slinks out of the apartment.
Ray storms out of the building and is so worked up about JR boning his girlfriend that he feels the need to violently rip open his shirt and expose his bare sweaty chest. OMFG. Bobby chases after him, refrains from remarking on the bizarre, needless baring of his sweaty chest, and begs him not to leave Southfork 'cause Jock would be heartbroken. JR, meanwhile, appears and angrily orders Ray to get off his family's land before dawn. Ray glares back at him and says that he's suddenly determined to stay put on Southfork until Jock fires him, then admonishes JR for always screwing with people's lives. He snarls, "If you slip up again, I'll make sure you don't get up again" and stalks off. Bobby shakes his head in dismay at JR and tells him he has an unholy knack for making every friend he's ever had into an enemy.
The next morning, Ray is standing on the plot of land that Jock gave to him, looking around. Lucy trots over on her horse to apologize for all the shitty stuff she said to him earlier. She asks him if he can forgive her and if they can be friends 'cause she doesn't have very many (shocker), and Ray nods and smiles.
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying TVofYore's recaps, consider thanking me by buying me a "coffee"!