Recap: Jock returns to the house after an early morning horseback ride, and Miss Ellie is dutifully waiting for him holding a glass of juice and smiling in her annoyingly serene way that always makes me want to smack her. Bobby rushes out of the house and announces that he's off to Austin for a construction project meeting...and Pam gives him a quick goodbye kiss, then remarks to Miss Ellie and Jock that she misses the days of leisurely sitting around drinking coffee in the mornings. Jock snaps, "That's what you get for taking a job in the first place" and Pam politely retorts to the sexist douchewad that she loves her job and just meant that she felt a tad rushed on this particular morning. Lucy and Sue Ellen exit the house from the patio door, and Lucy is bitching about wanting to have her own car. Sue Ellen says that JR will get her a car as soon as he thinks she's ready for one, and Lucy says she doesn't get why this decision should be up to JR. [If I gave even a tiny shit, I'd agree that it probably doesn't seem fair.] Lucy threatens to storm upstairs and confront him about it, but Sue Ellen stops her and tells her that JR's not feeling well this morning. Lucy smirks and goes, "Uh oh. Did he tie one on again last night? It must be a terrible strain on you" and Sue Ellen admonishes her for not showing her uncle the proper amount of respect. Lucy rolls her eyes and barks, "Let's go, then" and the two climb into Sue Ellen's car and drive off.
At noon, Pam arrives at a restaurant with two of her friends...and while they're being seated, she sees Cliff sitting alone at a table. She goes over and chats with him...and he glances around shiftily and tells her it looks like he's been stood up by his lunch date. When Pam gets up to go dine with her friends, she runs into Sue Ellen. Pam formally introduces her to Cliff, and Sue Ellen and Cliff unconvincingly act like they barely know each other.
Bobby is meeting with an executive named Joe, who tells him about Fairaday, the CEO of a Boston investment firm who's interested in building a field office in Dallas. Bobby perks up and suggests he throw a huge barbecue at Southfork to entice the firm to sign on with his construction company, and Joe likes the sound of that and thinks a Texas barbecue might be just the thing that helps seal the deal. Yee haw!
Liz Craig tells Pam that good things are in store for her at work...and when Pam asks her to explain, she mysteriously tells her that all will be revealed in good time. Yawn.
During family dinner time, JR tells Bobby he has to fly to DC for a few days to wank a bunch of important lobbyists and asks him to hold down the fort at Ewing Oil. Bobby complains that he currently has a lot going on with his construction company, but JR doesn't give a rat's ass and suggests he hold these all-important meetings at his Ewing Oil office. Jock offers to sit in for JR...and when a concerned Miss Ellie asks him if that's wise, he points out that he won't be doing anything strenuous. Sue Ellen offers to drive JR to the airport in the morning, and after some hemming and hawing, he reluctantly agrees.
After dinner, Sue Ellen makes a covert phone call to Cliff, informing him that JR will be away for a few days.
The next morning, Sue Ellen drives JR to the airport and smilingly bids him adieu. JR boards the plane and sits next to a sexy blonde, who we soon learn is his latest hookup.
Bobby arrives at Ewing Oil and checks in with Jock...and Jock grumbles that there's no point to him being here 'cause no one actually wants to talk to anyone besides JR. Joe calls Bobby to let him know that Fairaday is down for the big Texas barbecue and is eager to meet him and Pam. When Bobby's all "Wuh? Joe explains that Fairaday places as much importance on a man's personal life as he does his business acumen...and Bobby mulls that over and decides that if Fairaday's business hinges on Pam, it's a done deal.
Sue Ellen is hanging at Cliff's apartment, wearing a black teddy and throwing back booze. She reminds him that six weeks ago [this timeline will be important to us later] was the first time they started doinking at his apartment, then proposes a toast to JR for jetting off to DC and letting them have sex in peace. Cliff drinks to that and says he hopes there will be longer business trips in their future...and the two start smooching and getting it on.
Back at the ranch, Bobby is clowning around in the pool, causing Pam to topple over from her floatie. He's giddy with excitement about his impending deal with Fairaday, while Pam is a nervous wreck about having to throw a big party for the Boston CEO. Bobby suggests she ask Sue Ellen for help, and Pam mulls over that advice as she heads inside to change out of her wet swimsuit.
Sue Ellen is on the phone at Southfork, arranging another rendezvous with Cliff...and quickly hangs up when Pam suddenly appears. Pam tells her she needs to talk to her about something important - and that it's so important they need to discuss it over lunch. She barks out a time and place, and Sue Ellen looks miffed about the impromptu conflict with her and Cliff's midday doink.
Ewing Oil. A bored Jock ambles around the reception area as the secretaries answer the phones. When he grumbles to one of them about having nothing to do, she offers to make him a lunch reservation.
Sue Ellen bitches to Pam about interrupting the million things she had to do today. Pam politely says she appreciates her giving her some of her precious time, then says she desperately needs her help in planning the big Texas barbecue 'cause she knows nothing about hosting such a fancy affair. Sue Ellen's all, "The fuck? You dragged me to lunch to talk about having a party?! Why didn't you mention this at the house?!" Pam explains that she wanted to speak about it privately, then emphasizes how important this party is to Bobby. She cocks her head at Sue Ellen and says she gets the feeling she was expecting to talk about something else [an extramarital affair with her brother, perhaps?] but Sue Ellen calls that notion absurd, then snarkishly promises to put her in touch with her caterer, who pretty much does all the work putting together all the big Ewing shindigs. Pam thanks her and apologizes for inconveniencing her lady-of-leisure time, and Sue Ellen haughtily announces that she's going to skip lunch [to see if Cliff is still available for their regular nooner].
Jock phones JR in DC to ask him how the wanking of the lobbyists is going...and JR, who's wearing a bizarre looking mid-thigh length blue silk robe, tells him that everything is going swimmingly. Jock gruffly orders, "Just keep spreadin' the Bs!" and JR chuckles and promises his sexist douchewad of a father that he'll keep the pig men supplied with a steady stream of "booty, booze, and broads". After the call, he canoodles with his hot blonde mistress.
Sue Ellen and Cliff meet in a park...and when Cliff tries to pump her for information on JR's business dealings, she snappishly says she doesn't want to talk about her philandering husband. Cliff asks her why she decided to carry on an affair with him, and she outright says it's prolly 'cause JR hates him so much, and that it would really piss him off if he found out about their icky coupling. Sounds like super healthy relationships all around.
Liz summons Pam to her office and announces that she's being elevated to Clothing Buyer. She tells Pam she'll be moving in the best fashion circles, and that soon they'll be flying to Paris to attend Fashion Week. Pam tearfully thanks her for the vote of confidence...but then realizes how cheesed Bobby is probably going to be. Liz gives her the travel date for Paris, which is two days before the big Texas barbecue. Pam mutters, "Oh noooo.." and hopes Bobby won't mind, which...yeah, dream on.
At the dinner table, Jock looks around at all the empty chairs and growls, "This family's falling apart!" Miss Ellie tells him to chillax and that it's no biggie that Lucy is spending the night at a friend's house, then reminds him that JR is away on business [while Sue Ellen enjoys some extramarital action]. Jock says there used to be a time when the entire family enjoyed every single dinner together, and Pam points out that sometimes you have to travel for business, even if you may not want to. Jock grunts something unintelligible that's probably dickish and rude. He asks Miss Ellie if she's up for a stroll around the ranch, and she smiles serenely [THWACK!] and says, "That would be nice."
Pam asks Bobby if it would be possible to postpone the Texas barbecue, but Bobby says they can't 'cause Fairaday will only be in town on the scheduled party date. He then reminds her how crucial the party is for the success of his construction company, and a crestfallen Pam mutters, "Oh...OK."
Sue Ellen pays a visit to her doctor to tell him that she's been feeling very strange lately. He says there could be many reasons for this sudden strangeness and that he'll call her back with the test results.
Bobby drops by the store to see Liz about finding just the right dress for Pam to wear for the special something she has coming up. Liz nods and says, "I know" then compliments him with being totes OK with her jetting off to Paris on such short notice. Bobby's all, "Wha-a? Paris?" and Liz pretends not to notice the clear look of confusion and dismay etched across his face as she gabbles about the importance of the Paris trip. Bobby refrains from coming right out and saying that this is the first he's heard of it, and pretends that the dress he wants to buy is for Pam to wear on the trip.
Lucy is bitching to her family again about not having a car, then asks Bobby if he thinks it's fair she doesn't have her own wheels...and he just shrugs distractedly and says he's never actually contemplated the issue. LOL. The doctor phones to give Sue Ellen her test results, and she exclaims, "Well, that can't be!" then thanks him for calling and hangs up...and announces to the Ewings that she's pregnant.
After the commercial break fade-out, Jock and Miss Ellie tell Sue Ellen how thrilled they are that she and JR are expecting, and give her hugs. Jock immediately calls JR in DC to tell him that Sue Ellen has some monumental news, then hands the receiver to Sue Ellen. JR, who's still canoodling with his blonde, snaps, "What are you doing, calling me here at work?" so Sue Ellen says she has a special announcement. When she tells him she's pregnant, he looks incredulous and goes, "A baby?" then agrees, yep, it's wonderful. She asks him if he's truly happy, and he says he is and that he'll fly home first thing tomorrow. She breathily says, "I love you, JR" and he replies, "Take care. See you in the morning." Ouch. He then ambles over to a nearby mirror, stares at himself for a few seconds, and shouts, "Woo wheeee!!"
While laying in bed, Bobby tells Pam he's thrilled that Sue Ellen and JR are expecting a baby, and hopes this means that he and his brother can stop being in competition with each other about everything. He then tells Pam he knows her job means a lot to her, and she concurs and says it feels good for her to be doing something for herself...and that next to their marriage it's the most important thing in her life.
Sue Ellen meets up with Cliff to tell him about the bun in her oven...and Cliff chuckles and points out that she and JR have been married for a barren seven years, but as soon as the two of them started doinking - bam - she's suddenly pregnant. She half-heartedly says it's it's impossible for the baby to be his - and he disagrees, but says it doesn't matter either way, since he knows she'll never leave Southfork and all the perks that come along with being a Ewing wife...particularly now that she's the mother of the "heir to the Ewing throne". She's like, "Well, d'yuh" and declares their icky affair over, and Cliff looks A-OK with that and wishes her well. I guess that's that.
When JR returns home, everyone rushes out to greet him and give him congratulatory hugs. Jock growls, "I'm damn proud of you!" and JR blushes, visibly thrilled to have pleased the grizzled fossil.
When Bobby arrives home that evening, Pam says there's something she wants to talk to him about - but he says he needs to give her something first, then hands her a box that contains a grisly orange and brown dress. She cries, "It's beautiful!" and asks what it's for, so he tells her he can't have her flying off to Paris without something truly fugly to wear. She stares at him in shock and goes, "You know?" and calls him the most wonderful husband in the history of husbands. She informs him that she'll be wearing the dress at the Texas barbecue, then explains that she's decided to not go to Paris after all...'cause even though her job is important, he's waaaay more important. Bobby's like, "Phew!" and makes no attempt to talk her out of giving up a career so that she can focus all of her time and energy on him and his career. Shitbag.
Over in the study, JR pours champagne for himself and Sue Ellen...and it's a bit jarring to see a pregnant lady drinking alcohol on TV. He asks her why she went to see the doctor, so she explains that she wasn't feeling well and made an appointment to check it out. He asks her how far along she is, and she says six weeks [mmm hmm]...and he quickly does the math and realizes they couldn't have doinked six weeks ago 'cause he was in Austin around that time. She reminds him that he came home for the weekend, then asks if he has doubts that he could be the father. He shoots her a stink-eye and says, "You tell me" and she replies in a faux innocent tone, "I've been just as faithful to our marriage vows as you have, darlin'." Hee! She snarkishly reminds him that nothing matters more to him than having a precious Ewing heir, and he advances on her and smacks her across the face. OMFG! Sue Ellen glares at him and growls, "Don't you ever do that again!" and he snaps back, "I'll do anything I want to!" She tells him that those days are over, now that she finally has some leverage over him. She then taunts him about what he'll do if he learns for certain he's been cuckolded, then asks, "What will Jock think? Or the boys at the club?" She smugly declares that he's stuck with the baby's questionable paternity, then shrugs and says, "Chance are it's yours" and he looks stricken as she smirks and sashays out of the room.