Recap: Steve and Hilary Swank get amorous on her living room couch while Zack is a-snooze in his bed. Steve assures Hilary Swank that he can be a very quiet lover if need be...and a few seconds later, Zack unexpectedly emerges from his bedroom and ambles toward the living room. Hilary Swank abruptly shoves Steve off of her and asks Zack whassup...and he complains that he's thirsty, so she heads over to the kitchen to fetch him a glass of water. While she's doing that, Zack asks Steve if he's taking him to his soccer game tomorrow, and Steve says yes, then decides that tonight's probably not the night his wick is going to get dipped. He gives Hilary Swank a goodbye smooch and heads for home.
Kelly and Brandon are driving home after seeing a show...and when Brandon accidentally takes a wrong turn, the two end up in a sleazy neighborhood with street hookers milling about. Kelly is aghast at the sight of a girl who looks about fifteen years old, and when the girl catches Kelly staring at her, she snaps, "Whatchu lookin' at, huh?" Kelly suddenly realizes she's Dylan's sister, Erica, and barks at Brandon to stop the car. Kelly calls out to Erica and says, "It's me! Kelly!" but this only seems to make her run away very fast. Brandon leaps out of the car, chases her on foot, and corners her in an alley. He asks her what the hell she's doing, but she just shrieks, "Leave me aloooone!" and darts past him.
The next morning, Kelly and Brandon drop by the Wyatt Teen Outreach Center, an organization which appears to be under the umbrella of the amorphous foundation Kelly works for. Kelly tells the head social worker, Pam, about their Erica sighting and wistfully says she used to be the sweetest, fuzzy haired little girl in Season 4 - but Pam sternly informs her that she's now a teenager with some serious adult problems. Brandon says he talked to his "sister in London" to get more intel and learned that Erica had been living with Dylan's mother, Iris, in Hawaii following the aftermath of the Hazardous to Your Health episode...but then hooked up with a stoner surfer dude and followed him to LA, then got unceremoniously dumped. It's at this point that Iris lost track of her. Kelly hands Pam a photo of Erica, and Pam reminds her she's not the same person she used to be, and that when they encountered her last night she was probably "high as a kite". That said, she promises Kelly and Brandon she'll do everything within her power to find the wayward imp.
Valerie drops by the boat to visit Noah. She sadly remarks that he hasn't returned any of her phone calls, and he gruffly replies that they have nothing to talk about. She apologizes for her two-timing and insists that Cooper Hargrove means nothing to her - but Noah looks unmoved and tells her she's going to have to live with her mistakes. She tells him he can't just pretend he doesn't want her as much as she wants him, then leans in for a smooch and puckers her lips expectantly. Noah starts to lean in, but then pulls away and declares that what they had [at best, a superficial hookup] is now dead and buried.
After Dark. David advises one of his employees, Dan, to start looking for a new job 'cause he's broke and can't afford to keep anyone on the payroll. Dan says he knows a guy who might be able to help him out with a loan, then warns that the rates are steep and he'll have to pay on time in order to avoid getting his legs broken. David mulls over the idea of doing business with a psychotic loan-shark, decides he's A-OK with that, and asks Dan to set something up. A few seconds later, Donna bounds into the club to happily announce to David that she just got a new gig as a stylist - and, in her capacity as stylist, has recommended the After Dark as the location for tomorrow's photo shoot. David is delighted, mostly 'cause he'll earn a location fee, and gives her a thank you hug. Donna asks him if he's free to celebrate tomorrow night and he says he is.
Steve is dismayed to learn that Zack's soccer game is a father-son event. He reminds the tot that he's not really his bio dad, and Zack nods and says he likes to think of him as his "pretend dad". Some guy named Jerry comes over, assumes that Steve is Zack's father, and asks him if he'd be willing to play center forward during the father-son game. Steve doesn't have the heart to tell Jerry the truth and continues to play along, and Zack beams happily.
The Peach Pit. Hilary Swank chats it up with a blonde girl named Jodi, who's seated at the counter. She natters to Jodi about how hard it is to be a single mother with no hired help, and this seems to really wig Jodi out. She tells Hilary Swank she's not OK 'cause she's trying to deal with "certain things", then abruptly rushes out of the diner.
Pam, Kelly, and Brandon are in a van, scoping out the sleazy 'hood in the hopes of spotting Erica. Brandon hits the streets, struts over to a junkie (named Ricky), and shows him the photo of Erica and asks him if he's seen her. Ricky says he knows her, but hasn't seen her lately, and Brandon leaves him his business card in case he ever runs into her again. A sinister looking guy dressed in a leather jacket sporting pimp-style gold chains around his neck swaggers over, and from the van Pam recognizes him as Riggs the Pimp and immediately calls for police backup. Riggs glances at the photo of Erica and sneers, "She's a real piece" and tells Brandon she's gone and doesn't want to be found. Kelly comes over and sassily asks Riggs if he's Erica's pimp, and he leers at her and cackles, "Ooooh, pretty and smart" and advances on her. Brandon violently shoves him away from Kelly, and Riggs responds by pulling out a knife and waves it around menacingly. As Kelly starts to whimper fearfully, the police arrive, and Riggs puts his knife away and leaves the scene. He meets up with Erica a few blocks away, and hustles her into an alley so that Brandon and Kelly aren't able to catch a glimpse of her.
The Peach Pit. Hilary Swank apologizes to Steve about getting blindsided about the father-son soccer game. Steve looks overly troubled by it and says he gets that Zack wants to be like other kids, but it still didn't feel right. Hilary Swank says she doesn't know what else to say or do other than apologize, then remarks that it suddenly feels like something has changed...and a glum looking Steve just stares back at her mutely.
The Beverly Beat. Valerie arrives with boxed lunches for the newspaper crew, and Brandon looks surprised and asks her whassup with the unexpectedly nice gesture. Valerie says she was just in the neighborhood, then gets irked about how everyone is always suspicious of her motives. He asks her whassup with The Noah Situation, and she grimly says it's not good and that she meant to tell him she was two-timing with Cooper but didn't get around to it in time. Brandon chides her for being dishonest, and she wails about how much she hates enduring all this emotional pain.
After Dark. As Donna rushes around working the photo shoot, one of the workers tells her she's a natural at this...and I'm surprised he didn't also credit her for being the most stunning cherub he's ever laid eyes on in his entire life. Kelly drops by and gushes to Donna about how she's in her element, then gives her a quick update on The Erica Situation. David, meanwhile, is staring down at them from the balcony/landing thing just outside his office. Donna blushingly grins and tells Kelly she's buying some sexy lingerie later 'cause she and David have a romantic dinner/doinkfest planned. Fantastic.
Dan informs David that he set up a meeting for him tonight at 7pm with a loan-shark named Everett Sands. David grumbles that he already has plans with Donna, and Dan's like, "So..?" and makes it clear that Everett is doing him a favor by meeting with him, and strongly advises him not to reschedule.
Over at the Wyatt Teen Outreach Center, Kelly compliments Pam for all the wonderful work she does, and Pam educates her about the horror of teenage prostitution and that many of the girls don't survive. She then warns Kelly not to take matters into her own hands 'cause it's a dangerous, concrete jungle out there. She instructs her to call her immediately if she's able to locate Erica, 'cause she knows the rules of the concrete jungle. Kelly says that Brandon has his own way of doing things, but Pam sternly replies that his own way could get him killed.
The Beverly Beat. Ricky the Junkie arrives at the newsroom to tell Brandon he knows where Erica is...and that he'll take him to her for $50. Brandon agrees and follows him out. As they exit the building, he lectures Ricky about the dangers of living on the street and asks him if he's not scared he'll end up dead, and Ricky wryly replies, "I already am." At that moment, Kelly arrives, and Brandon informs her that Ricky knows where Erica is. Kelly says they should need to call Pam, but Ricky doesn't like that idea and says there's no time - no time! - if they want him to lead them to Erica.
Ricky takes Brandon and Kelly to a dilapidated apartment building. He enters one of the units, where a bruised Erica is sleeping. Ricky pokes her awake and urges her to get outta here...and a groggy Erica looks around and is startled at the sight of Kelly and Brandon. She starts to flail around in a panic, and angrily snaps at Ricky for bringing them here. Kelly coolly assures her that everything is OK, then asks who hit her...and Erica admits it was Riggs. Ricky urges Erica to go with these nice people, 'cause they seem like they genuinely want to help her get off the street. Kelly tells Erica that they recently spoke with Brenda - and Erica gets all panicky again and begs them not to tell Iris about any of this. She says she refuses to go to a shelter 'cause she's worried that Riggs will find her there and kill her, then begs them not to tell Dylan that she's degenerated into a hooker. Brandon doesn't make that promise and just grimly says, "Let's go."
The Beverly Beat. Brandon returns to the office and finds Steve moping at his workstation. When he asks him whassup with the long face, Steve wails, "The kid shanghai-ed me!" and tells him about the father-son soccer game misunderstanding. Arg. Get over it already, Steve. Steve marvels about how crazy nutso he is about Hilary Swank...and that instead of playing the field with multiple lovelies, he's focused on when when he and Hilary Swank can hit the sheets for the first time. Brandon's all, "Wuh? You two haven't doinked yet?" and stares at him in shock.
Donna is shopping for lingerie when she gets a call from David. He tells her he's meeting with an investor and might be a bit late for their dinner...and when Donna asks who this investor is, he just barks, "Have faith!" and abruptly ends the call. LOL. Donna just kind of shrugs, then picks out a white, virginal looking negligee - but when she writes a check to pay for it, the saleswoman can't get it to clear. Donna scrunches her big face in confusion and pays via credit card instead.
Steve stops by Hilary Swank's house and apologizes for wigging out about the father-son soccer game. Hilary Swank reminds him that she and Zack are a package deal, and Steve assures her he wants them both. Hilary Swank looks relieved, and the two hug. Yawn.
Restaurant. David admonishes Everett for being an hour late to their meeting, and Everett just chuckles and smugly reminds him that his life has spun out of control and that he's willing to help him. He tells David he can do whatever he wants with his money - but the interest charge is 50%...and he's going to have to pay on time or risk dismemberment or death. David says he's A-OK with those horrifying conditions and tells Everett he needs $10,000...and Everett does the math and tells him that next month he's going to owe him $15,000.
Beach house. Donna studies the receipt from the lingerie store with a puzzled expression. She then goes through her mail and opens an envelop from her bank that contains all the checks she's recently written. She finds the one that David forged to pay the rent on the After Dark and scrunches her face in shock and anger.
The Walsh house. Steve brings Hilary Swank to his bedroom and breathes a sigh of relief that they're finally alone together. As he natters about wanting to take it slow, she unbuttons his shirt, fondles his chest, and tells him to shut his pie-hole so they can get it on.
Noah's at a bar, getting drunk and annoying the guy next to him. When the guy insults the waitress, Noah becomes enraged and orders him to apologize...and a few seconds later, the altercation devolves into a fist fight and the bartender quickly dials 911.
The Walsh house. As Erica showers, Brandon tells Kelly that someone should stay with her tomorrow. Kelly suddenly looks like she has buyer's remorse and says they didn't really think any of this through and that it's weird to be treating Erica like she's an overnight guest. She wonders if they're out of their league and that perhaps a shelter would be a safer option for her. Erica, meanwhile, has finished showering and is eavesdropping on their conversation from the hall. Brandon gets a call from Noah, who's just been arrested. He tells Kelly he has to go deal with this impromptu crisis, and dashes out of the house.
Brandon pays Noah's bail and takes him home to his boat. Noah drunkenly mumbles something about ghosts and shadows and declares that today is a Death Day - meaning that a year ago today, he killed his fiancee, Beth, while driving drunk. It's nice that he decided to commemorate the occasion by getting drunk once again. He then rambles about how he's running away from his life, his father, and his family...and rails about how his fiancee didn't come from a rich enough family to satisfy his father. He reveals to Brandon that his family owns the Fortune 500 company Hunter Oil and Chemical - and that he's worth millions, but doesn't give a hoot about being filthy rich. In other words, he's Dylan 2.0.
The Walsh house. Steve and Hilary Swank have finished doinking and are on their way downstairs when Valerie answers the door and finds Jodi on her doorstep. Jodi appears to know Steve, and Hilary Swank looks all discombobulated and goes, "Hey Jodi." Steve explains that he and Jodi dated briefly [off camera 'cause we've never seen this girl before now], and Jodi interjects and says she has some urgent news that must be shared this moment in front of everyone who just happens to be within earshot: she's got a bun in the oven and is certain that Steve's the father. Ew. Steve's all, "Wha-a?!" and then Hilary Swank and Valerie are all, "Wha-a?!" as well.
The Walsh house. The next morning, Erica ambles into the kitchen, where Kelly, Brandon, and Valerie are having breakfast. Brandon tells her that Valerie has agreed to stay with her today...and Erica retorts that she's not stupid and knows that Valerie is "playing warden". Brandon explains that Valerie has agreed to stay with her for the day to ensure her safety...and then he and Kelly head off to work. Erica suddenly looks contrite and tells Valerie how embarrassed she is to be caught hooking. Valerie tells her that just 'cause she made some bad choices it doesn't make her a bad person, then urges her to dump the pimp and let the 90210 cast help put her life on a better path. Valerie's pager suddenly goes off, and she says she needs to go to Rodeo Drive for an appointment. Er...OK, but didn't you just promise Brandon and Kelly you'd devote the day to keeping an eye on Erica? She invites Erica to come along, but Erica insists she'll be fine by herself. Valerie says she'll be back soon and then rushes off...and as soon as she's out the door, Erica calls Ricky and tells him to get over to Casa Walsh, like pronto, and gives him the address.
Beach house. The next morning, David is morosely staring at the dinner table, which appears to have been abandoned shortly after Donna set it up with fancy dish ware, wine glasses, and napkins. Donna arrives home looking despondent and explains that she spent the night at her parents' house. She then comes right out and tells David she knows that he forged one of her checks...and David explains that the rent on the After Dark was due and that eventually, possibly he was going to say something about it before she realized that $2,500 went missing from her bank account. She snaps, "How could you? I loved you. I trusted you. You're a liar!" She says she has no idea where he was last evening, so he snarls that he was working his ass off for them...then criticizes her for having a "perfect picture" of how life is supposed to be: college, move in together, get a job. He says that some figures don't add up in her equation, and reminds her that he walked away from the racist band in the Pride and Prejudice episode as she ordered him to, but now realizes that "pride doesn't pay the rent". She tells him he could have just asked her for the money instead of stealing it, and he glumly says he wanted her to have faith in him. She just shakes her head sadly and says she can't believe anything he says anymore, and that she wants him to move out. David moans, "No...no..." and promises to pay her back, but she orders him again to get out, then bursts into tears and has a really ugly cry.
The Walsh house. Kelly, Brandon, and Pam are shocked and dismayed to find the house looted and in shambles. All the expensive stuff - computer, TV, stereo - is gone and Erica and Valerie are nowhere to be found. Pam calls the police while Kelly looks around in bewilderment and mutters, "She was safe here." Pam says her biggest fear right now is Riggs finding Erica, 'cause if that happens he may kill her. Egads!
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12/2/2018 07:19:18 pm
I really love your episode summaries but this is episode 9 not 8😬
8/13/2019 05:52:45 pm
I really love the episode summaries as well! I think I missed the part where David lost all his grandfathers money.... What happened!?
1/20/2020 11:53:03 am
I love the commentary! Always saying exactly what I’m thinking! My only “complaint” is that Season 8’s episodes are off by a number! It makes it confusing I end up reading episodes that I end up watching next.
5/4/2020 07:37:45 pm
Definitely the wrong episode lol
5/7/2020 07:56:40 pm
It stinks that they have a new "Erica". Would have so much better with the original actress, she was so cute. With this new pretend Erica, it's totally boring!!!
Is it just me who can’t stand Valerie?! 😭 She forces herself on everyone when Noah has been sending her pretty much all the signs 🙄 I’m so glad that I can come here and get such a perfect recap!! Commentary and all is on point 😁 oh also whhhhhhhy Hilary Swank 😬
4/1/2021 08:55:38 am
I didn;t like the dress Donna wore when she approached David about the forged check. It seriously looked like a ribbed condom stretched out over her body. Very tacky, no class.
4/8/2021 12:17:02 pm
Even when I’m watching the episodes I like to come on here to read the commentary and most of the time it’s because you say exactly what I’m thinking lol!!
9/7/2021 12:48:04 pm
It seems that Iris probably used the same flaky parenting method on Erica, that she used with Dylan, for her to end up hanging out with stoner surfers, and running away. Iris probably wasn't the best choice of caretaker TBH.
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