Recap: Dylan's packing for a trip to Mexico so he can meet up with Jonesy and reclaim the millions that Kevin and Suzanne scammed from him last season. He comes across a photo of his frizzy-headed sister Erica and stares at it intensely. Suddenly, the doorbell rings and it's Valerie, who has dropped by unannounced with a bag of scones. Dylan tells her it's not a good time for a visit 'cause he's about to go out of town, and she chirps, "Great! Can I come?" Dylan says no, then bitchily adds that she doesn't even know where he's going...but when she asks him where he's going, he snarks that it's none of her business. The airport cab honks from the driveway, and Dylan irritably tells Valerie she has to leave. She pouts and says he should at least tell her he's happy to see her, and Dylan derisively tells her he highly doubts he's the only guy on her "little bakery route". Valerie finally gets insulted enough to grab her scones and angrily storm out.
Punta Brava, Mexico (not a real town). Dylan's plane lands, and after he gets through customs, he notices a blonde skank rushing toward the gates holding one shoe. Weird. He looks around for Jonesy but there's no sign of him, so he heads over to the nearest pay phone. The phone rings in Jonesy's messy motel room, but he's too zonked from a wild night of drinking and debauchery to answer. Dylan hails a station wagon taxi and endures a rough ride to Hotel Conseulo, the dump where Jonesy's staying. Dylan bribes the maid to let him into his room, and he's dismayed by the sight of Jonesy in boxer shorts and a wife beater, passed out on the bed. Dylan spots a red women's shoe lying atop the bed, picks it up, then starts kicking the mattress violently and barking at Jonesy to get up. Jonesy drowsily tells him to come back later, so then Dylan starts banging on the night table and demands to know why he didn't pick him up at the airport. Jonesy explains that he's suffered a setback, then looks bleary-eyed at Dylan and asks him if he happened to see a foxy lady leaving Punta Brava. Mmm...I guess that explains the blonde skank who was rushing through the airport with one shoe. Dylan bitches that he wants to find someone competent to do the job, but Jonesy quickly stops him and insists he's on top of this case, and that Dylan should consider himself lucky to be working with a "total professional" such as himself. Dylan orders him to get dressed and says he wants to see Kevin and Suzanne for himself. Jonesy assures him that the two swindlers are nearby, then stumbles into the bathroom to clean himself up.
The Peach Pit. Brandon and Steve are razzing Ahn-drea 'cause she made the dean's list, and she says it was a rough semester 'cause Hannah was sick the entire time. Brandon mentions that Mama Walsh told him that Ahn-drea gushed about a "hot shot med student" who treated Hannah...then embarrasses her further by pointing out that she's blushing. Steve jokes that's she's having impure thoughts about other men, and Ahn-drea gets all defensive and annoying. Steve mercifully changes the subject and announces that in the coming semester he has three classes that are almost exactly alike...and that this is a good thing because he can write one paper for all three classes. Brandon checks his watch and says that Kelly has definitely stood him up, so he's going to head off to campus by himself.
After Dark. Clare and David are in the parking lot, and Clare's arguing with David about his desire to turn the After Dark into a hip-hop club. Brandon ambles over and asks them if they've seen Kelly, and David says she was on campus earlier, sorting out a problem regarding her psych tutorial...then adds she's probably home by now. When Brandon leaves, Clare gripes about how boring hip-hop is, so then David snarks about the kind of music she listens to...blah, blah, blah. Just break up already.
Beach house. Kelly is sitting atop a pillow, cross-legged, listening to a tape recording of Professor Finley babbling about how people require discipline and courage to evolve. Her eyes are closed and she looks like she's concentrating super hard. Brandon's standing in the doorway watching...and after a few seconds he clears his throat to announce his presence. She's startled to see him, and - thank God - turns off the tape player. He jokes about how enjoyable it is for him to watch her sit on the floor in weird positions, so she retorts that he's in the category that Finley calls "the rough beast"...and Brandon tells her he likes the sound of that. She tells him about the latest crisis on campus: Finley was denied tenure. Brandon says he's surprised, since he knows that Finley has a super high popularity rating among students. Kelly tells him that Finley refuses to teach any of his scheduled tutorials until he's granted an immediate appeal. Brandon says he may have to "twist the dean's arm" to see if he can get Finley an appeal, and Kelly's thrilled he's so willing to help her creepy new mentor...and the two start romping on the bed and making out.
Punta Brava, Mexico. Dylan and Jonesy go horseback riding on the beach and get within a few yards of the ritzy beach house Kevin and Suzanne have just leased. Jonesy informs Dylan that the two have renamed themselves Carl and Kitty Cavendish...but that Erica is still going by Erica. They arrived a week ago from Brazil, and Jonesy suspects they may be smuggling drugs. Jonesy gleefully says he put a "juicy wiretap" on their phone and knows that Dylan's $8 million is stashed in a bank with a secret account number...which is what he wants to "flush out". However, his plan involves a female accomplice - and since the blonde skank bailed out on him, he needs "a foxy lady" to take her place. Someone who can "lie like a rug and tease like a sleaze". Dylan looks contemplative, no doubt thinking that this is a perfect description of Valerie.
Dylan calls Valerie, but she's still mad about the way he snubbed her when she came over with the scones. He tells her he's in Punta Brava and that he needs her to catch a flight there the next morning. She tells him she can't do that 'cause she's about to go to some fancy award dinner thing with the Walshes...then backpedals and asks him what's going on. In the next scene, Valerie goes downstairs to tell the Walshes that her friend Ginger's on the phone, and she's in such a bad way that she may have to fly to Buffalo to counsel her in person. As she scurries back upstairs, Kelly looks all judgmental and rolls her eyes, and Brandon offers to go upstairs to find out what's really going on - but Papa Walsh stops him and says he really doesn't give a rat's ass what's going on with Valerie. Mama Walsh asks why Valerie would lie, and Papa Walsh replies, "'Cause she has no shame." That settled, the foursome leave. Upstairs, Valerie returns to the phone and tells Dylan, "I'm all yours" and asks him what he wants her to do.
Punta Brava, Mexico. The next morning, Jonesy and Dylan are at the airport, awaiting Valerie's arrival. Jonesy hands Dylan a hat and tells him he'll be playing the role of the chauffeur/manservant...and this prompts yet another argument. Jonesy haughtily informs Dylan he does a lot of cleanup of the FBI's dirty work, which they're not allowed to do, and refers to himself as "the master". He then says how much he hates working with amateurs and tells Dylan this lady of his better be up to some "major league ball", and Dylan assures him that Valerie is a player. And speaking of Valerie, she's finally made it through customs...and when Dylan points her out, Jonesy looks her over and seems impressed. He walks over to greet her, pretending to be her boyfriend, and Valerie gamely plays along. After a big hello hug, Jonesy orders Dylan to pick up Valerie's bags then ferry them to their hotel.
California University. The dean tells Brandon he can't do anything about Finley's appeal 'cause right now it's in the hands of the faculty council. Brandon says it would be a travesty to lose Finley and asks why he hasn't gotten tenure. The dean says Finley was supposed to do some publishing (as is required of university professors) but instead he conducted a series of brain-washing seminars. The dean says there's also concern that Finley's using the classroom to recruit new converts to his crackpottish "New Evolution", and that his teaching style is borderline messianic. He also confides to Brandon on the down low that some parents lodged complaints against Finley for his conduct during a recent weekend retreat...then says he can't reveal anymore than that. The dean then urges Brandon to meet Finley and decide for himself what the guy's all about.
Punta Brava, Mexico. Dylan drives Jonesy and Valerie to Palmilla - a swanky resort, which is just down the beach from where Kevin and Suzanne live. During the walk to their suite, Dylan pulls Valerie aside and thanks her in advance for her help...but Jonesy interrupts the tender moment to tell them they don't have time for this; he and Valerie have a date with the "Cavendishes" for cocktails.
Jonesy and Valerie are sitting in an outdoor cafe...and Jonesy instructs Valerie to catch Kevin's eye and then "tease his socks off". A few seconds later, Kevin and Suzanne enter the cafe, and after Jonesy points them out to Valerie, he picks up his drink, gets up, and deliberately bumps into Suzanne and spills it all over her outfit. Valerie fake reprimands him for his clumsiness, and Jonesy rushes off with Suzanne to pretend to help her towel off. Now that Valerie's alone with Kevin - who, incidentally, looks just as twitchy and unappealing as ever - she bats her pretty eyes at him and invites him to sit down. Kevin compliments her impeccable manners and has a seat. Valerie continues to flirtatiously chat, and Kevin eyes her appreciatively and starts looking smitten. Jonesy returns to the table and also chats up Kevin, then invites him and Suzanne to join them on their yacht tomorrow to do some fishing. As Kevin mulls that over, Valerie tells him he must join them, then sensually rubs her knee so he can hungrily stare at that visual. Suzanne, meanwhile, has found a clean t-shirt and comes over to fetch Kevin, and he introduces her to Valerie and Jonesy and tells her they're all going fishing tomorrow. Suzanne does not look thrilled.
Dylan's skulking around downtown Punta Brava, tailing Erica, her nanny, and bodyguard, Philippe. Dylan hides behind the corner of a building as Erica is browsing the goods at an outdoor market - and then reveals himself to her. She's happy to see him, but he immediately warns her that no one can know he's in Mexico, and she says she understands. She tells him she misses him, hates this place, and begs him to take her home with him. After a couple of minutes, the nanny summons her to hurry along, and Dylan tells her to do as the nanny says, then promises he'll come back for her. She hands Dylan her favorite piece of sea glass before scampering off.
Back at the Palmilla, Jonesy rebukes Dylan for communicating directly with Erica, and now worries that his entire plan has been compromised. Dylan insists that nothing has changed, but the two continue to bicker like an old married couple. Valerie enters the room after showering, and Jonesy stops arguing and tells Dylan that at least he has great taste in women, and says how utterly enchanted with Valerie Kevin was. After Jonesy heads off to bed, Dylan asks Valerie if she's OK with everything that's going to go down tomorrow, and she looks morose and says that even though Kevin makes her skin crawl, she really wants to do this for him. He tells her she's been incredible and asks if he can do anything for her, and she suddenly acts all needy and whimpers, "Just hold me." For some reason, that phrase has always sounded so corny and odd to me. Hold me...
California University. There's a long line of sheep...er, students outside Finley's office. Kelly comes out, finds Brandon in the crowd, and tells him that Finley will see him now. Finley looks pleased to make Brandon's acquaintance and comes right out and tells him he wants him to be a torch-bearer while he mobilizes the CU campus in order to get tenure. Brandon tells the self-serving douchenozzle that he thinks a better strategy would be for him (Finley) to re-approach the faculty council to request an appeal, and then directly respond to his critics. Finley stares back at him in disgust and says, "What are you talking about?" He demands to know if the dean brought up the "stupid, malicious" retreat allegations, and Brandon lies (really unconvincingly) and says he was, uh, referring to his lack of academic publishing. Finley eyes him suspiciously, accuses him of lying, and says the dean has clearly already poisoned his mind against him. He asks Brandon if the dean described his teaching as messianic, and Brandon admits that he did. This gets Finley all riled up, and he sarcastically asks what's next: his classes are cults, and he's a heretic? Brandon insists that he came as an ally, but Finley blurts out, "You all make me sick!" and snarks that Brandon came on a fact finding mission to see if he's as dangerous as the chancellor and all the others would like to believe. Well, d'yuh. He glares at Brandon and says if they want a showdown with him, he'll bring this campus to its knees...and then throws Brandon out of his office. What a nut.
Punta Brava, Mexico. Jonesy, Valerie, Kevin, and Suzanne have just returned from an afternoon of fishing on the yacht. Incidentally, Valerie is wired up so Dylan can listen in on the conversations. Kevin tells Jonesy they need to talk, so Valerie and Suzanne engage in some obligatory girl talk. Suzanne tells Valerie about Erica, how adorable she is, and that she had her with a man who's not Kevin. She says Erica has the best qualities of both of her and Jack...and an eavesdropping Dylan looks contemplative. After that, the foursome have photos taken with the large fish they caught...and Kevin discreetly tells Suzanne that Jonesy is a smuggler and uses trophy fish as a cover for his nefarious activities. He excitedly adds that Jonesy is looking for a money partner to expand, and then invites Jonesy and Valerie to dinner tonight so that he can learn more about "taxidermy". Suzanne announces that it's time for her massage, and Jonesy makes up some contrived excuse to accompany her so that Valerie can have some icky alone time with Kevin. Valerie remarks how nice it must be to have a house right on the beach, and Kevin takes the bait and asks her if she'd like to see his "dream house". She tells him she'd love to.
Kevin shows Valerie around the main floor of his spacious home as he lecherously checks out her bikini clad curves. Dream on, Twitchy. She asks him if there's a safe behind one of the paintings, and he says he prefers banking...and Valerie coyly tells him she and Jonesy don't like banks, 'cause then the clerks will know too much about their bidness. Kevin tells her they're just doing the wrong kind of banking, then brags about how he's on "the cutting edge of cyber finance". To needlessly explain, he opens his laptop and tells Valerie that he can do his banking in the comfort of his home - even while in the company of an irresistible woman. Valerie forces herself to look doe-eyed with fascination and asks him if he can really do all that with a computer...and Kevin tells her he can - with a private modem phone line. He starts tapping away on the keyboard, demonstrating how he can log in to his bank account on the Cayman Islands. Meanwhile, Jonesy is monitoring his computing from the laptop in his hotel suite and suddenly exclaims, "Yes! Yes!" He excitedly informs Dylan that he just got the name of the bank, the account number, and Kevin's password. Dylan is genuinely impressed that he can do all that with a laptop, and for some reason Jonesy suddenly starts acting like a spaced out hippie and babbles incoherently about how his laptop isn't just a computer, it's a video game, maaan...then calls it pong, pac-man, and rebel assault. Calm down, weirdo...it's just a damn computer. Dylan's like, "Whatever, dude" and says he just wants his money back. Jonesy then acts like something has just gone wrong, but he was just faking Dylan out...and of course Dylan gets mad and barks at him to stop messing around. Jonesy informs him that as of this moment, his money is in an FBI account and that he wants to be packed up and ready to leave as soon as Valerie returns. Dylan's like, "What about Erica?" and says they can't just leave her. Jonesy reminds him that snatching a kid wasn't part of the mission and that he's leaving Mexico, with or without him and/or Valerie.
When Valerie returns to the hotel suite, she's pissed off at Dylan for letting Jonesy leave. She points out that they have no plan to rescue Erica - but Dylan tells her he has an idea. Valerie irritably tells him to make it quick 'cause the "Cavendishes" are supposed to be coming over soon to pick up her and Jonesy for dinner. Dylan says they can use the diversion as an opportunity to sneak into their house, get Erica, and bring her somewhere safe. Valerie asks him how he plans on getting inside the house, and Dylan mutely holds up the sea glass that Erica gave him earlier as though that's supposed to explain anything.
Beach house. When Brandon arrives, Kelly's making phone calls in an effort to aid Finley's quest for tenure. She tells him that Finley hired her as his research assistant, then gets all snippy about how badly his meeting with the professor went. She asks, "What were you thinking?" so Brandon tells her he was ambushed, and explains that as soon as Finley heard he'd spoken to the dean, he went all bat-shit. Kelly accuses him of stabbing Finley in the back, then tells Brandon he's part of the CU establishment as much as any extern. Brandon looks confused and goes, "A what?" so Kelly explains that extern is Finley's made-up word for people who "don't have a clue". Brandon reminds her that she was the one who wanted him to talk to the dean in the first place and says she should take responsibility. Fair point. Kelly insists she is taking responsibility and that thanks to Finley, she's feeling strong and unafraid for the first time since the fire. She snarls at Brandon, "You just don't get it" and Brandon agrees that he doesn't get it...or even what it is, and stalks out of the apartment.
Punta Brava, Mexico. Erica's in a pink ballet outfit, practicing a plie. Suzanne sees her plie and criticizes it, then bitches at her daughter about not wanting to spend money on lessons if that's the best plie she can do. Erica yells back that she doesn't want ballet lessons, or anything else from her. Kevin enters the room all gussied up for dinner and asks Suzanne how he looks, and she snippily asks him who he's trying to look good for. (Not you, honey.) He tells her to lighten up, and suddenly the security guy calls to inform them that their new friend Valerie has come calling. She enters the house still wearing her bikini top and wrap-around skirt and tells Kevin and Suzanne that she went beach-combing and lost track of time. She mentions how much she likes collecting sea glass, and Suzanne mentions that Erica collects it too. Valerie says, in that case, Erica can have her piece...and she goes over to Erica and hands her the sea glass she'd given to Dylan earlier. Erica looks slightly startled, and Valerie smiles at her and gives her a conspiratorial wink. Kevin and Suzanne offer to drive Valerie back to her hotel, and she accepts...and as soon as the car pulls out of the estate, Dylan sneaks past the security gate and enters the house.
Erica is about to have her dinner when she notices Dylan creeping around inside the house. The phone suddenly rings, and it's Suzanne calling to instruct the nanny to ensure that Erica takes a shower before dinner. For some reason, Dylan chooses this moment to rush inside the room in full view of the nanny, and then Erica sees the security guard, Philippe, and stupidly yells, "Dylan!" which of course, Kevin and Suzanne can hear from the other end of the phone. In the back seat, Valerie starts to look panicked, but forces herself to sound casual when she goes, "Uh, what's the problem?" Suzanne pulls a gun out from somewhere, points it at her, and asks what Dylan's up to, and Valerie unconvincingly retorts, "Dylan? I don't know any Dylan."
At the house, Philippe has his gun pointed at Dylan in the living room, and when Kevin and Suzanne return, Suzanne mutters that they can finally stop looking over their shoulders now, since she always knew that Dylan would pay them a visit. Kevin orders Valerie to sit beside Dylan on the couch, and Dylan tries to pretend not to know who Valerie is, but Suzanne tells him to cut the shit, since Valerie already cracked and sang like a canary. Suzanne asks Dylan where Jonesy is and whether or not he left Punta Brava...and we see that he's outside the house with a gun! Yay! Dylan notices him and says, "He's right outside" and Kevin smacks him in the head for "getting cute". Valerie urges Dylan to just tell the truth, and Dylan insists that that is the truth. Suddenly, Jonesy crashes through the glass patio door and starts shooting indiscriminately...and everyone dives for cover under the hail of bullets. Kevin runs off down the hall, and Dylan tells Jonesy, "He's mine!" - LOL - and follows him. Kevin grabs a sword from some display thing and tries to poke Dylan with it, but Dylan easily knocks it out of his hands, then pounds him with a lot of fake looking punches until he falls to the floor. Valerie, meanwhile, grabs a gun from the floor before Suzanne can get to it and points it at her. Suzanne pleads with her to let her go, and in exchange she'll give her a cut of the money they swindled from Dylan, but Valerie just gives her a derisive look and says, "Honey, your horny husband lost all that money this afternoon." Haha!
The police arrive, and Jonesy lets them in so they can arrest Kevin and Suzanne and take them away to jail. Jonesy tells Dylan that after their argument, he was worried about him screwing everything up, so he called his buddy who's a police officer and told him the only thing that would get the Punta Brava Police Department to act quickly: the Cavendishes were plotting to kidnap Erik Estrada. Um, OK...I guess I can buy that. Maybe Erik Estrada is to Mexicans what David Hasselhof is to Germans. Jonesy informs Dylan that the FBI will try to extradite Kevin and Suzanne for the fraud charges, then turns his attention to Valerie and starts flirting. Dylan rushes upstairs to Erica's room and finds her huddled on her bed, teary about the possibility of Dylan getting killed. She's happy to see him alive and well, and tells him she always knew he'd find her...and the two hug.