Recap: During a CUTV staff meeting, Brandon announces that Donna will be returning to weather forecasting duty the following day. Oh joy. Evan suggests that they underplay her absence and pretend like she hasn't been away, and Brandon likes that idea. After the meeting, Rusty bursts into the station and calls Brandon a bastard, then snarls, "How dare you send the cops after me!" He accuses Brandon of fingering him as the guy who's been stalking Donna, but Brandon denies doing any such thing and explains to the enraged nitwit that the police questioned everyone at the station. Rusty rails about how he feels like a criminal, and Brandon glares at him and coldly asks, "Is there some reason you should feel like a criminal?" Rusty bitchily retorts, "Someone oughta knock you down a peg. I hope you and Donna rot in hell!" (We all hope that, Rusty.)
Beach house. Kelly and Tom are hanging out and flirting when Donna returns home after hiding out at her parents' luxury pad for the last few days. Tom invites Kelly out for dinner later, then heads off to work. Donna tells Kelly how relieved she is that her stalking ordeal is finally over now that Slan has left town...and Kelly says she's just happy that things can finally get back to normal. Donna remarks on how she (Kelly) is dating Tom and reminds her that Valerie is still really close to him. Kelly admits that at first she flirted with Tom merely to spite Valerie...but, to her surprise, she's discovered she actually likes the guy. Donna asks her if a relationship with him is worth pursuing if it irks Valerie so much, and Kelly mischievously grins and replies, "Not only is it worth it. It is icing on the cake." Me-ow!
After Dark. Chloe Davis is performing a song for David - and when she finishes, he claps and tells her she's for sure going to be on MTV some day. She blushes prettily and thanks him, then tells him the sad tale about how her parents disowned her after she dropped out of school to follow her dream of being a singer. Well d'yuh. It is a pretty stupid thing to do. David advises her to make a demo tape of her music - but she tells him she has no cash, so he offers her the use of the recording studio in his house. Wait - wuh? Did I miss something? When the hell did David get a recording studio in his house? And isn't it really Mark's house? And since it is, why is David still living in it?
Arnold, Samantha, Steve, and Clare arrive at a resort somewhere to attend some kind of retreat...and Steve and Clare grumble to each other again about how icked out they still are about their parents dating. They discuss how their foursome is rooming by gender - meaning Clare and Samantha will share a room, while Steve and Arnold are bunking together. Fantastic.
After Dark. Tom arrives at the club and finds Valerie doing paperwork in her office. She snarkishly says that maybe hiring him to work at the After Dark wasn't such a good idea after all. She then criticizes his work and says he needs to devote more time to his job than to Kelly...and Tom gets fed up with her bitchitude and abruptly quits. Good for you, Tom!
Retreat. Samantha gushes to Clare about how happy she is to be rooming with her, then gabbles about how proud her father is of her. During this, she's unpacking her things and hanging them in the closet, and Clare gets an eyeful of a sexy black teddy Samantha brought along and is all, "Ack!"
David's house. David and Chloe are in the recording studio, mixing her track. The phone rings and it's Donna...and she looks put out when she hears Chloe's voice and realizes she's there with David. Chloe hands the phone over to David, and Donna tells him she needs his help with prepping for tomorrow's weather report. He tells her he's too busy at the moment, and Donna sulkily accuses him of giving her the brush-off. David explains that he's helping Chloe with her demo tape, so Donna's like, "OK, fine. Whatever" then hangs up and looks sad.
The stalker is watching a tape of one of Donna's weather show re-runs while loading a gun and nonsensically snarling, "You bitch!" LOL.
Retreat. As the boring foursome dines together, Clare gives her dad an embarrassing lecture about how he shouldn't eat cream sauce 'cause it gets him over-stimulated...plus it's high in cholesterol. Samantha flees the table and pretends she needs more food from the buffet, and Arnold gets up and follows her. Steve admonishes Clare for being such a snarky bitch, then says his mom really likes Arnold and that he's suddenly A-OK with their parents dating. Clare, however, is not A-OK with it, and she scrunches her weird looking doll face and whines, "She's taking my daddy away from me!" Steve just stares back at her, incredulous at her self-absorbed cuntiness.
Beach house. As Tom walks Kelly home after their date, he tells her they need to straighten a few things out. He asks her if she's trying to hurt Valerie, then quickly reminds her that Valerie is his friend and says he doesn't want to be a means of Kelly getting back at Valerie. Kelly slips him the tongue for a few seconds and asks, "Does that answer your question?" and he's like, "Uh...not really" so Kelly assures him she's not with him because of her searing hatred for Valerie...but he still looks doubtful 'bout that and announces that he's going home.
CUTV. Donna arrives at the station and says hey to Rusty, but he just snarks, "What do you want?" and mocks her silly weather segment. She apologizes to him for having to endure police questioning, but he just continues to snark about how he was treated like a criminal. Evan comes over and tells Rusty to leave, and Rusty's like, "Fine then! I will!" and bitchily storms out. (In about five minutes, he's going to be really glad he did that.) Donna looks visibly rattled, so Evan tells her to forget about him, then gives her a comforting hug.
Retreat. Steve tells Clare that they should tell their parents how much their canoodling icks them both out...and a few seconds later, they come upon their parents locked in each other's arms, kissing. Clare wants to put an immediate stop to the intimacy, but suddenly Steve is no longer bugged by their blechy public displays of affection. Arnold pulls away from Samantha and tells her they can't do this because of how unhappy their romance is making Clare. He says he had intended for the four of them to grow closer during this retreat - but, sadly, it's doing the opposite. He tells her they have two great kids - but since the brats have no regard for their happiness and would prefer that they break up and be alone rather than hook up and be happy, they should indulge them and stop seeing each other. Steve and Clare, who have both eavesdropped on the conversation, stare into space and look contemplative.
CUTV. Donna is standing in front of the mirror, primping for her weather segment. Evan comes over and natters about how great she is when she's doing her weather reports, and how it feels like she's talking only to him. He proudly says she makes him feel important, like she understands him...and Donna somehow chooses to ignore that giant red flag and replies, "That's a nice thing to say." Things start getting off-kilter when Evan picks up a tube of lipstick and urges Donna to wear that color, and she looks weirded out and goes, "Excuse me?" then asks him if he doesn't have to get ready for the broadcast. He's like, "Uh, no" then asks her if anything is wrong...and she admits that she's still shaken up by Rusty's hostile bitchitude. He says, "You don't have to worry. I'm here" which...ew. Donna applies the lipstick and asks Evan how she looks, and he replies in a raspy voice, "Perfect" and leans in for a cheek kiss. She flinches and tells him to stop, and he stares at her creepily and says, "I know you like me." She tells him his touchy-feelyness is making her uncomfortable...and the stalker jig is finally up when he says, "Phone calls...flowers. I know you like the attention." He admits he's the one who's been calling her with messages of love/death threats and sending flowers and dead rats...and, oh yeah, it was him who nearly ran her over with his car during the Unnecessary Roughness episode. He says, "I'm sorry, but you made me mad" and Donna's like, "Ack!" and flees across the room where Brandon and Tracy are standing. She hysterically tells them that Evan's the one who's been stalking her, and Evan storms over and says, "Whatever Donna just said is a lie." LOL. Brandon announces that he's calling campus security and then picks up the phone, but Evan orders him to put it down and then pulls out his gun. Eeek! He orders Donna to lock the outer doors, and tells Brandon to get into the control room. He steers a terrified Donna toward the news desk and orders Tracy to prepare to film an embarrassing spectacle of his nuttiness for all of CU to enjoy. Brandon sneakily dials 911 from the control room, then keeps the phone off the hook. The 911 operator's like, "Hello? Hello?" then hears Brandon cleverly urge Evan to put the gun down. Evan suddenly notices that the phone is off its cradle, wigs out about that for a few seconds, then orders Brandon to hang it up. Evan then sits beside Donna at the news desk and points his gun at her and ominously declares that he has plenty to say in front of the camera - and none of it will be with a single scrap of dignity.
When Tracy warily tells Evan that he and Donna are on the air, Evan looks at Donna and says, "Go ahead" and she scrunches her face in confusion and is all, "Wuh?" Kelly, meanwhile, sees the hijacked news broadcast from the Student Union and goes, "What is that?!" then shrieks, "He's got a gun!" and all the extras within hearing range are like, "Eeek!" and rush toward the TV. In the newsroom, a quivering Donna tells Evan she has no idea what he wants her to say, so he orders her to declare her love for him - which she does. He then orders her to read from his diary...and she reads some what he wrote about when they first met. His diary entries describe how she winked at him during her weather reports...along with his delightful discovery of Donna's virginity - which he thought was romantic, 'cause in his deluded mind, he believed she'd give it up to him. Gross. This guy's hopeless fixation on Donna and her sanctimonious virginity is so disturbing on so many levels.
Police arrive on campus and a SWAT team swarms around the CUTV building...and the detective in charge orders someone to turn the AC in the newsroom off.
The police detective phones the control room, and Brandon discreetly answers the call and confirms that no one's been hurt - yet, anyway. Donna, meanwhile, is faux professing her love for Evan, but apparently her fake declaration isn't convincing enough 'cause he barks, "Like you mean it!!" Donna starts weeping, then says, "I love you soooo much, Evan" but he just snorts in derision and calls her a damn liar. Brandon informs Evan that the police want to talk with him on the phone, but Evan yells, "No!" so the detective tells Brandon he'll just communicate through him. Brandon urges Evan to let everyone go before he does something stupid - and Evan responds by pointing the gun at Brandon, then orders him to hang up the phone. He then turns his attention back to Donna and snarls at her for lying to his face and leading him on...then starts railing about the way she winked at him during her weather reports and made him believe that she wanted to ride his baloney pony. Over at the Student Union, Kelly frantically calls David to inform him that Donna's currently being held hostage by an obsessed nut...but he's still busy mixing Chloe's track, so he doesn't answer the phone. Back at the news desk, Evan orders Donna to repeat, "I am a manipulative bitch" and she tearfully obeys.
Retreat. Clare tells her dad she loves him - but that she didn't actually realize what that meant until today. That's a weird thing to say, considering she's a grown woman. She tells him she doesn't want him to break things off with Samantha after all...and he's relieved to hear that and gives her a hug. She apologizes for bitchily trying to wreck the relationship, and he assures her she's still his number one girl...which was pretty nauseating. Steve, meanwhile, tells his mom that he was only trying to break her and Arnold up 'cause it was what was Clare wanted...and he doesn't seem embarrassed enough that this implies he's too much of a pussy-whipped halfwit to stand up to his bitchy girlfriend. He then chides his mom for not spending enough time with him lately, so she promises to be around a lot more.
CUTV. Now that the AC has been turned off, Evan's getting all gross and sweaty. He orders Brandon to ask the cops why the AC isn't working, so Brandon puts the detective on the PA/speaker system, and the detective offers to have drinks delivered into the newsroom. Evan says he'll allow it...so a few seconds later, Brandon opens the doors to accept the beverages from the SWAT guys. Suddenly, one of the female hostages runs over to the nearest phone, and picks it up and shrieks, "Help us, please! He's going to kill us!" and while Evan's distracted with that, two SWAT guys slip inside undetected. An agitated Evan orders the girl to get off the phone and lay face down onto the floor, which surprised me 'cause I totally thought he was going to shoot her. As Brandon carries in the drinks, Evan grabs a bottle of water and guzzles it. The detective urges Evan to let everyone go, so he agrees to release everyone but Brandon, Tracy, and Donna. Brandon lumbers back into the control room, where the two SWAT guys are hiding. The detective asks Evan if there's anything he needs, and he replies, "I want everyone to know what a lying bitch Donna is" and the detective clarifies, "Er...no. I meant - what do you need from me?" LOL. Evan says he wants the police to bring him a car so that he and Donna can drive anywhere they want to go, then "reminds" the detective that he and Donna are in love...despite having called her a lying bitch a few seconds ago. The detective urges Evan to put the gun down and let Donna leave with him freely, 'cause then it can't be considered an actual kidnapping. Evan mulls that over and looks as though he's about to comply - but suddenly he catches sight of one of the SWAT guys in the control room, gets all squirrelly again, and threatens to kill Donna. The detective orders the two SWAT guys to stand down and leave the news room, which they do. Evan demands a car within an hour...otherwise he'll kill Donna.
Hours later, Evan asks Donna if she's ever been to Mexico or South America, and she just whimpers that he's going to get them all killed. She tells him it's over, but he insists it isn't and points the gun at her again. She suddenly gets brazen and tells him she doesn't want to go anywhere with him, since he never even gave her the chance to like him. He's all, "Wuh?" so she points out that he never actually asked her out. He argues that without his gun, he's a nobody - well d'yuh - but she urges him to put the gun down anyway and be a man...not some creepy stalker. He bellows, "Don't push me!" then snaps his head to stare over at the camera and admonishes Tracy for staring at him in gaping horror. He points the gun at her and orders her to leave the station, so she rushes over toward the exit and somehow has a chance to kiss Brandon goodbye. She urges him to come with her, but he declines and says he needs to stick around and heroically rescue Donna from her unstable admirer. Evan wearily sinks to the floor and starts weeping. Donna decides it's finally time to forge a fake bond of trust between her and her captor, so she sits beside him and gently says she had no idea he cared so much for her. She calls his psychotic behavior sweet and that it makes her think things could really work out between them. She inches closer to him and says, "I've never been to South America" and he says that the rain forests are supposed to be incredible and they could be together there! She slips into a little girl voice, bats her freakishly large Bambi eyes up him, and asks, "Will you take care of me?" and nuzzles him, and he goes, "What about your boyfriend?" She's all, "Meh.." and says everyone knows she really loves him - and Brandon gets in on that action and tells Evan about how Donna's been talking endlessly about her crush on him and that she wants to break up with David. Evan orders Donna to kiss him, but she refuses to smooch while the gun is pointed at her, so he lays it on the floor. The two then engage in some revoltingly intense looking tongue action, and Donna bashfully asks him if he now believes how much she cares for him. He says he does...and suddenly Donna jumps into action and kicks the gun away. Brandon leaps out of the control room and tackles Evan...and by this time, Donna has grabbed the gun and is aiming it at Evan and yelling, "Don't move!" The SWAT guys burst in and subdue Evan...and he stares up at Donna incredulously and wails, "You said you wouldn't leave me!" (I don't remember her specifically promising that) and Donna glares back at her psycho admirer and derisively retorts, "I lied." And I'll bet he's thinking, "You bitch!" again. Haha..
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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