Recap: Donna wants her roommates' opinion on her weather show performance, but for some reason the videocassette she's trying to insert into the VCR keeps popping out. (VCRs were a fun technology, weren't they?) The doorbell rings, and Donna totters on her stilettos while rushing to answer the door. Whoever rang the bell has left behind a bouquet of flowers...and Donna, Clare, and Kelly gush over how pretty they are. The card is addressed to Donna, and it's signed "your number one fan". She makes a blech face and calls him her "number one creep" and tosses the flowers into the garbage. Clare and Kelly tell her she's overreacting and remind her that she hasn't had a crank phone call in over a week...but Donna explains that it's only 'cause she recently changed her phone number, then points out that her psycho number one fan knows where she lives. Yeah, that's probably not good. After a minor freakout about being stalked, she flees to the safety of her bedroom.
Brandon and Tracy are on a road trip, and they look extremely delighted to be getting away from L.A. for the weekend. She says she's excited to be visiting her family home even though her parents are away. (Seems like a weird time to visit.) She tells Brandon she's surprised he was willing to drag himself away from Superbowl, and he looks mildly panicked and goes, "Your parents have a TV, right?" A few seconds later, they arrive at the Gaylian Ranch...and when Tracy spots a tall, good looking blonde guy milling about, she mutters, "Damn.." She tells Brandon his name is Sam, and that he's looking after the place while her parents are away. Sam ambles over to them, glares at Brandon, and informs Tracy that her favorite mare is sick. He then heads off to the barn, and Brandon correctly guesses that he's Tracy's ex-boyfriend.
The Peach Pit. Steve and Dick are sitting at the counter together, chowing down on mega-burgers...and when Clare enters the diner and sees the two of them suddenly acting like pals, she scrunches her face in confusion and goes, "What's wrong with this picture?" Steve explains that he and Dick have formed an alliance for the purpose of selling sportswear, and that they've found a goldmine in the form of football t-shirts from France. They plan to mark up the prices 300% and donate all of the proceeds to Project Literacy. Clare gives Steve a smooch and tells him she's very impressed.
After Dark. Valerie's annoyed that David and Tom have decided to throw a Superbowl party and decorate the club with football paraphernalia. She grumbles about how cheap the decor looks and that she doesn't want her club to be turned into a tacky sports bar. David reminds her that it's their club, and assures her they'll maintain very high standards for this party: nothing but the best beer and potato chips! LOL. She bitchily asks them if she gets to offer any input into the football festivities, and they tell her it's more of a guy thing and point out that it's just for one weekend. She makes a face and grumbles, "I hate football!"
California University. Donna runs into Evan and the other CUTV camera man, whose name we finally learn is Rusty. She thanks Evan for putting together the tape of her weather schtick and calls him "the best". Rusty stupidly blurts out, "Hey - someday I'll show you the tape I have of you!" and when she stares over at him with a wigged out expression, he goes, "Just kidding." Evan and Rusty head off, so Donna ambles over to Clare's table, and the two discuss how annoying men are about Superbowl. They have no desire to attend the Superbowl After Dark party and decide it would be fun to plan a girls' night out. Clare has an idea of something raunchy they can do, but wants to keep it a secret. Donna suddenly spots the pudgy face of Garrett Slan (the icky attempted rapist from the Love Hurts episode) gazing at her from behind a pillar. She has a sudden flashback of the scary attack, then tears up and moans, "It's him. Garrett Slan." Clare's all, "Wha-a?!" and turns around to see if she can spot him - but of course he's no longer standing there. She reminds Donna that Slan is in prison, but Donna insists she just saw him, and now suspects him of being her recent stalker. She has a quasi meltdown and flees the Student Union.
Gaylian Ranch. Brandon is pushing Tracy on a swing, and they talk about something boring and then smooch. Sam interrupts to tell Tracy that her mare is in pain, so she says she'll meet him in the barn. She then needlessly informs Brandon that Sam asked her to marry him just before she moved to L.A., and Brandon asks her if she regrets saying no and she assures him she doesn't. She might want to rethink her position on that when Brandon dumps her like yesterday's news, ten episodes from now.
Beach house. Something has set off the burglar alarm, and Donna's all frazzled as she tries to punch in the code to turn it off. Clare rushes into the living room, punches in the right code, and the alarm finally stops blaring. Donna screeches at Clare and Kelly for not remembering to set the alarm, and Clare just kind of rolls her eyes, goes onto the patio to search for stalkers, and tells her no one's there. She trudges back to bed, and Donna steps onto the patio to double-check for stalkers and finds a flower on the railing. Eeek! She angrily pushes it away, endures another flashback of the attempted rape, then goes back inside and locks the door.
Gaylian Ranch. Brandon finds Tracy in the kitchen, cooking up a hearty farmer's breakfast for him. She tells him that she and Sam have divided up the farm chores...and Brandon insists on also helping out, so she tells him to meet her in the barn once he's done eating.
After Dark. Valerie enters her office and is annoyed when she finds her desk littered with Chinese food cartons. She's irritably tossing them in the trash bin when Tom enters. She snarkishly asks him why he and David couldn't just eat at the Peach Pit...then suddenly changes moods and gives him a big smooch. She tells him she can't wait until Superbowl is over so she can get her club back, and and he reminds her that it's David's club too. She instantly gets annoyed again and asks him whose side he's on, and he tells her he's on both their sides, and she snaps, "Traitor!" I really don't get why she'd be so peeved about David and Tom getting along.
Beach house. A groggy Donna sees a shadowy figure advancing toward her bed, so she freaks out and starts screaming - but it's not a stalker, just David. He explains that he was trying to surprise her, and she explains that she's freaking out 'cause Garrett Slan is roaming around free and fears that he wants to exact revenge on her for putting him away. David points out that her tormentor could be any nutcase who's seen her perform her silly CUTV weather reports (not exactly a comforting thought), and reminds her that the Department of Corrections (DOC) is required to inform her if Slan gets released from prison. He urges her to relax and tells her they'll go to the DOC to check on Slan's status. He then encourages her to go out with Clare and Kelly for their ladies' night out on the town.
Student Union. Steve and Dick open the big box of t-shirts they ordered from France and urge everyone to line up and buy one. Steve grabs a shirt and holds it up, and looks mystified when it reads Monde du Football over a graphic that's clearly a soccer ball. He scrunches his face in confusion and goes, "What the hell is that?" so Clare explains that the phrase is French for World of Football, and that in most countries football means soccer. Steve and Dick start bickering over who's to blame, then throw each other under the bus for the screw-up.
Gaylian Ranch. Brandon is helping Sam move hay bales. Sam asks Brandon what his intentions toward Tracy are, and Brandon says, "I like her a lot." Sam goes, "Is that all?" so Brandon adds that he respects her and enjoys her company. Sam laughs and says that those were the exact same words she said to him before she dumped him. He says he'd like some alone time with Tracy to see if they could rekindle their relationship, but Brandon nixes that idea and says, "This is our time now" ...even though he dumps her like yesterday's news, ten episodes from now.
Steve and Dick enlist their fraternity brothers to sew a patch that looks like a football over the soccer ball on each of their French t-shirts so they'll make sense when people wear them to the Superbowl party...though I'm not convinced that Californians would be all that jazzed about wearing a t-shirt with a French phrase written across it. At any rate, the fraternity guys look hilariously adorable as they industriously put their needles and thread to work and sew on the football patches.
After Dark. The Superbowl party is in full swing, complete with pom pom girls. Unfortunately, Tom and David are having a mini crisis: they can't find the keys to the storage room where all the glasses are stored. Egads! David concedes that they'll probably have to call Valerie to ask her where the keys are. Steve and Dick arrive with their newly altered Monde du Football t-shirts...and Steve asks the pom pom girls to wear them as free advertisement, and for some reason the After Dark partyers look super intrigued by the shirts and gather around.
Gaylian Ranch. Tracy serves Brandon a nice dinner, and he's very impressed with her homemaking skills. As soon as they start kissing, Sam bursts in to tell Tracy that her mare is still sick. Tracy and Brandon rush out to the barn to tend to the poor animal.
Strip club. Kelly, Clare, and Donna enjoy the spectacle of male strippers gyrating suggestively. Donna shyly tips one of the dancers, and he lifts her onto the stage and twirls her around before putting her back down. Two sleazy guys suddenly appear and buy the three of them drinks and invite them to go someplace quiet for a good time, but the girls are like, "Eww.." and decline. When the sleazy guys attempt to follow them, Clare whirls around and bitchily snarks at them to get lost. The girls then scamper out to the parking lot and pile into Kelly's BMW, and we see that a creepy man in a baseball cap is sitting in a nearby car, watching them from across the parking lot...and when they drive off, he follows them. Eeek!
After Dark. Valerie arrives at the club to give David and Tom the storage room key, and she's all smug that they had to call her to save the day...then gets even smugger when David needs her help typing in the override code on the cash register. David apologizes for forcing her to endure a Superbowl weekend, and she suddenly becomes cheery and eagerly pitches in at the bar. She's...kind of bipolar in this episode.
Kelly, Donna, and Clare arrive at the After Dark, and the creepy man who's following them watches from a distance.
Gaylian Ranch. Sam tells Tracy he's pretty sure her mare will be OK, and Tracy thanks him for all his help. He tells her that when she left for California she took a piece of him with her...but she remains unmoved and makes it clear that her answer to his marriage proposal is still no, and that he's still the same unappealing yokel she left behind. Brandon enters the barn and silently eavesdrops as Sam derisively says she can't possibly be serious about Brandon, and Tracy says she is and urges Sam to move on with his life. Brandon makes his presence known, so Sam gives up on trying to woo Tracy back and gives her some last minute advice in tending for her sickly mare. He glares at Brandon on his way out, and Brandon tells Tracy he can't blame Sam for trying to rekindle their relationship.
After Dark. Donna tells David she had a great time tonight, and when he asks where they went, she stammers, "It was a...kind of...a dance recital." Heh. Clare tries to get her to leave, but Donna asks for five more minutes. Meanwhile, Tom sidles up to Kelly and the two start flirting. Clare tries to get her to leave, and she pauses her flirting and goes, "Gimme five minutes" and Clare rolls her eyes impatiently.
Gaylian Ranch. Tracy checks on her mare, then steers Brandon into a private room that has hay bales piled everywhere. He gushes about how adept she is at handling ranch work, then asks her why she and Sam broke up. She says he didn't have many ideas in his thick, yokelly head, and that what they shared reached its conclusion. She says, without a trace of irony, "You either feel something for someone or you don't." The two start smooching, and miraculously Sam doesn't burst into the room to inform Tracy that her mare has taken a sudden turn for the worse.
After Dark. Kelly and Clare head out to the parking lot, and Kelly remarks that she thinks Tom is cute. Donna lags behind, then drops her purse on the ground...and as she's picking it up, the creepy guy drives straight towards her. For some reason, he decides to spare her life and, at the last minute, swerves to avoid running her over. Donna wigs out and wails to Clare and Kelly that someone's clearly after her. Yep, I'd say so. They hustle her to Kelly's BMW and head home.
Gaylian Ranch. Tracy and Brandon wake up in the barn and face the aftermath of their first doink. Tracy asks him what he's thinking, and he says, "All good things come to those who wait." She kind of winces at that lame response and says, "Just don't make me regret this, Brandon" and he says, "Same goes for you" even though he's the one who dumps her like yesterday's news, ten episodes from now.
Beach house. Clare and Kelly are making breakfast and discussing how Donna almost become roadkill last night...and how fixated she is on Garrett Slan being the prime suspect. Donna suddenly appears in the room and snarks at them for talking about her behind her back. They assure her they're just worried about her, but she insists that the psycho rapist is after her. Clare tells her they gave the police a description of the car that almost ran her down, then blandly hopes they find the guy. It's a little weird that neither she nor Kelly seem all that concerned that a crazy person is targeting Donna, considering they live in the same house. Donna declares that she's staying at her parents' house while they're in Europe. She snarks, "I don't want to burden you with my fixation" then storms off to her room.
After Dark. David enters Valerie's office just as she's having a new desk delivered. She calls it "a partners' desk" and says she bought it so that he can sit across from her and be her equal. This storyline is almost as riveting as Steve's French t-shirt debacle.
Gaylian Ranch. Brandon and Tracy load up the car for the drive back to L.A. Tracy bids Sam adieu, and Brandon thanks him for showing him the ropes about caring for a sick mare. Sam orders him to treat Tracy raat, and Brandon assures him he will, even though he dumps her like yesterday's news, ten episodes from now.
The Peach Pit. Steve has one t-shirt left to sell, and Nat agrees to buy it for $10. The topic of safety at the beach house comes up, and Steve tells Clare he wants her to stay at Casa Walsh until he's sure that Donna isn't being stalked by a deranged rapist. David arrives at the diner and joins Donna at her table. She's sifting through two weeks' worth of her parents' mail and notices a letter from the DOC. Eeek! She rips it open, quickly reads it, and wails, "Oh God, David!" He grabs it from her and reads it...and a few seconds later, the rest of the gang comes over to their table to see whassup. Donna waves the letter at them and hysterically explains that she's being informed by the DOC that Garrett Slan was released from prison two weeks ago. She starts crying and freaking out, and everyone just kind of stares at her and looks helplessly concerned.
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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