Recap: Kelly and Donna are rushing around the beach apartment, busily planning the imminent re-opening of Now Wear This. Kelly tells Donna she just got off the phone with some buyers from New York, who are going to be in L.A. in two days to check out her new men's line...'cause yeah that's remotely plausible. Kelly says that their re-opening needs to be super successful, not least because the boutique hasn't been making any money ever since the grisly shooting of Rapist Joe last season. She tells Donna to hurry up and finish sewing the suits for the men's line and that she'll sort out the business end of things.
Steve gives Dylan a ride to the CU campus so he can find out whassup with his application to be reinstated as a full time student. Steve gabbles at him about how are penguins are great fathers...while lions, not so much. Dylan implores him to bore Janet with animal comparisons to his impending fatherhood, then slouches into the admissions office. When he asks about his application status, he's told by a haughty clerk that he's being denied because of how lame, poorly written, and nonsensical his essay was. Haha!
Now Wear This. Kelly has rehired Pia Swanson to help with the boutique's re-opening, and Pia suggests they kick off the party with a fashion show. Fun! When Kelly reminds her that the re-opening is only two days away, Pia pulls out her "players book" and says she always has a slew of A-list invitees at her fingertips. They decide to rent out the space across the courtyard for the fashion show...then divide up the various tasks, including hiring male models to strut the catwalk.
The Beverly Beat. Steve enters the newsroom clutching a large stuffed penguin, then explains to Janet that it's "a daddy penguin". She tells him she's annoyed that he hasn't spoken to her in days, and then breezes in with a stuffed toy. Steve explains that it's a symbol of how ready he is to be a father, and Janet tears up and goes, "Really?" and he nods, replies, "Really" and the two hug.
After Dark. David asks Donna to shriek into the microphone 'cause apparently he's gathering various sound effects for his awful 'I'm a sad sack radio DJ bent on spreading my unhappiness to every listener' radio show. Noah enters the booth to deliver something that just arrived for David...and when Donna asks him how he's doing, he sullenly replies, "Good." He congratulates her on the re-opening of the boutique, then smugly says he can't make it 'cause he and his new lover Cherise have plans to go to Napa Valley. After he exits the booth, Donna releases her frustration with the Noah/Cherise hookup by doing a very loud re-take of her shriek.
Matt's office. Kelly drops by to bring Matt some lunch, then babbles enviously about how he's in charge of his own destiny - while she, on the other hand, is stressed out about the upcoming fashion show/boutique re-opening and is thinking seriously about quitting the 'Donna Martin originals' business altogether. When Gina enters the office and exchanges snarly insults with Kelly, Matt forces the two to declare a ceasefire and promise to be civil to each other for the sake of his sanity. Kelly snaps, "Fine!" and flounces out, and Gina stares over at Matt in incredulity and points out how un-civil that snappish fine was just now.
Hospital. Janet is getting a checkup from her obstetrician, while Steve carefully studies a plastic model of a fetus. The doctor puts a mic on Janet's belly so they can listen to the baby's heartbeat and declares that the baby is perfectly healthy. This causes Steve to silently wig out and stare into space looking horrified.
Beach house. Janet tells Donna and Kelly that she and Steve listened to their baby's heartbeat and that Steve was soooo excited. She gushes about what a fantastic father he's going to be.
Over at Casa Walsh, Steve is wailing, "I'm going to be a horrible father!" and tells the 90210 guys about what a boneheaded, immature goofball he is...and says this as though anyone needs reminding. He implores them for some helpful tips or advice, but they tell him that within their tiny man-clique, he's a trailblazer in the area of parental responsibility. They suggest he call Rush to get his wisdom and input, but Steve declines 'cause he doesn't want Rush to think he's in over his head.
Matt enters his office to grab a file, and Gina dutifully reports that Kelly left a phone message, asking him to call her asap 'cause she's thinking seriously of making a life-changing decision. He thanks her and tells her she can leave work early - but only if she goes to the boutique to help Donna and Kelly with their re-opening. Gina tells him he can't force them to be friends, and he's like, "Well duh" but urges her to try.
Gina enters the boutique and announces that she's here to work, and Pia immediately puts her on envelop-stuffing duty. Kelly blurts out something that I guess sounded PR savvy, and Pia compliments her on thinking like a PR exec and asks her if she's ever considered making a career change...and Kelly looks visibly intrigued by the possibility. Pia fiddles with the twinkle lights, which are flickering on and off because of some ongoing electrical problems...and this detail will be important to us later. As Kelly and Pia head out, Pia turns to Gina, calls her "Gidget" - LOL - and tells her to make sure that Christian Sutton's invitation to the re-opening is on the top of the pile. She needlessly explains that he's a critic at The Chronicle who can "make or break" them, so it's super important that he attend the event. Gina absorbs this tidbit, no doubt thinking of the best way to ensure that his invitation somehow gets lost in the mail. Donna arrives at the boutique, wheeling in the rack of her men's line clothes. She makes a blech face when she sees Gina, and Gina hastily explains that Matt is paying her to help out with their re-opening. She then dishes to Donna that Kelly is thinking about quitting the store and going into PR, and Donna scrunches her ginormous face and looks gravely concerned.
Kelly stops by the After Dark to pick up wine glasses for the party, and then is motioned over to the DJ booth by David. The two somehow get on the topic of Dylan, and Kelly tells him that Dylan's application to CU was rejected. David's like, "Oooh shocker" and sneers about how big a self-entitled screwup Dylan is. Suddenly, the two look over towards the doorway, where - ack! - Dylan is standing, glaring at David. Kelly orders David to apologize for his bitchitude, but David refuses...and then Dylan slouches up to his office, where he glumly stares at the CU course catalog.
Cherise shows Noah a map of the route she wants to take for their Napa road trip and tells him she's very excited about their romantic getaway. Donna confronts Kelly about wanting to quit the boutique, and Kelly says she hasn't decided what fickle life's dream she wants to pursue next, and that right now they need to focus all of their energy on the store's fashion show and re-opening.
Restaurant. Janet and Steve are out for dinner...and a few feet away from their table is a crying baby. Janet says that normally she'd be bugged by all the mewling, but now all she can think about is the preciousness of the child. Steve remarks that the non-stop crying is very loud, then stares into space with a troubled expression on his face.
Gina finishes stuffing envelopes and hands the box of ready-to-mail party invitations to the delivery guy. At the last minute, she decides that she can't help herself from causing needless drama and grabs the invitation addressed to Christian Sutton. She tells the delivery guy she'll deliver this one herself...and by deliver this one herself, she means she's going to set fire to it then throw it into the nearby trash can, where a bunch of flammable cans were tossed earlier. The trash can quickly ignites, and within seconds the flames spread to the rack of men's wear that Donna had wheeled in earlier. Gina's all, "Ack!" and grabs the fire extinguisher and sprays it at the fire to prevent a store-wide blaze...but it's clear that the clothes are beyond salvaging. Kelly and Donna enter the boutique a few seconds later and gasp in horror at the charred mess. Gina fibs and says that the flickering twinkle lights sparked the fire, then breathes a sigh of faux relief and says, "Thank God I was here! You could have lost the store."
The Walsh house. Matt tells Noah about the boutique fire and that he's going to do the right thing and help the ladies with their cleanup. Cherise, meanwhile, arrives ready to hit the road for Napa - but Noah tells her they're going to have to put a pin in that for the moment 'cause the boutique had a code red emergency and he wants to help out. Upstairs, Janet is struggling to fit into her clothes. She answers a phone call from Rush and tells him that Steve, who's sitting zombie-like on the bed, isn't home at the moment. When she hangs up, she asks Steve if Rush is happy about being a grandfather, and Steve says he hasn't told him yet...then admits that he's still wigged out about the crying baby in the restaurant and is getting increasingly scared that he's not ready for fatherhood. Janet chides him for saying that out loud, and says it makes her worry that he's going to disappear on her. He half-heartedly promises he won't, and she sternly tells him he needs to be totally on board with becoming her baby daddy.
California University. Dylan returns to the admissions office and hands in his rewritten essay. When the clerk snarkishly informs him that he missed the deadline and classes are at full capacity, Dylan urges him to bend the rules...'cause, well, he's Dylan. The unimpressed clerk refuses and tells him to go pee up a rope.
Now Wear This. Pia declares the burned clothes a non-disaster, and Donna perks up when the 90210 gang arrives with yards of fabric and several sewing machines. Gina, meanwhile, spots the half-burned invitation addressed to Christian Sutton on the floor and surreptitiously hides it under her shirt. Matt pulls her aside and says he finds her story about the twinkle lights sparking such a large fire to be a giant load of bullcack, then asks what she has under her shirt. She sheepishly pulls out the invitation and tells him the fire was an accident...and when she explains to Matt who Christian Sutton is, he orders her to find the critic and do everything possible to ensure that he attends the fashion show and after-party.
Dylan slouches over to where David and Janet are looking over the set-up for the fashion show. He grumbles at David about how right he was about him being a self-entitled screwup, then dramatically tosses his essay into the trash can and says that re-applying to CU was a waste of time. As he slouches out, an intrigued David fishes the essay out of the trash and read it over. Just like, I'm sure, Dylan fervently hoped he would.
Donna tells the gang they have seven hours to cobble together all the outfits in time for the fashion show. When she asks how many of them know how to sew, they all just stare back at her blankly. We then get a montage of Donna teaching each of them how to work with a pattern, cut the fabric into pieces, and sew them together in order to assemble a perfect recreation of her men's line.
Gina arrives at Christian Sutton's house, but he's not interested in whatever she's selling and shuts the door in her face. Twice. Haha! She tricks him by bribing a Girl Guide who pretends to sell cookies, then leaps at him from out of nowhere and implores him to attend Donna Martin's upcoming fashion show. Naturally, he grins and says he wouldn't miss it.
The gang finishes sewing all the outfits in the nick of time, and naturally the garments look professionally sewn, pressed, and - no doubt - are perfectly tailored to whoever will be modelling them. Pia informs everyone that the limo with the male models for the show is stuff in traffic, and then David brings added pressure to the tense moment when he announces that the guests are staring to arrive. Just as hope for a successful fashion show begins to fade, Noah suddenly brightens and says he has an idea that might just be crazy enough to work, then organizes an impromptu huddle with the 90210 guys.
Christian Sutton arrives at the mall just as the fashion show is getting underway. In the absence of professional models, the 90210 men have stepped in and are strutting down the runway in the Donna Martin originals. Backstage, an annoyed Cherise tells Noah she's throwing in the towel on their budding romance 'cause it's obvious he's still in love with Donna...and who could blame him for still having feelings for the sweetest, most stunningly beautiful cherub the world has ever seen? Steve, meanwhile, apologizes to Janet for expressing his doubts about fatherhood and tells her they should get married. She's all, "Wuh? Are you sure?" ... and he says he is, so she lets out a happy woot and gives him a smooch.
Beach house. The next morning, Kelly and Donna concur that the fashion show went amaaaazing. Janet excitedly announces that Steve proposed to her last night, and Donna and Kelly hug her and look happy for their boneheaded friend and his new fiancee.
California University. David enters the admissions office to foist Dylan's essay on the beleaguered admissions clerk. He urges the clerk to not shortchange someone who deserves a chance...then babbles about the saintliness of Dylan's character, which he demonstrated years ago when he (David) was working too many shifts for the campus radio, which left him too little time for school. David claims that Dylan brought him books from the library every day and hovered over him until he got his work done. Nope, don't recall anything like that ever happening. In fact, the most that Dylan ever did for David during the university years was scare him straight from drugs by flushing them down the toilet in the Scared Very Straight episode. David tells the clerk that since Dylan is the one who needs help now, he's going to stick by him. He assures the clerk that his new essay is awesome...and that he should read it, be moved to tears, and welcome Dylan as CU's best and brightest addition to the student body. After David leaves, the clerk picks up the essay and stares at it contemplatively.
Now Wear This. Christian Sutton wrote up a positive review of the fashion show for The Chronicle, and Kelly happily pays Pia for her services. Pia tells her that if she changes her mind about wanting a new and exciting career in PR to call her 'cause they currently have an opening...and Kelly thanks her, but says she's decided she's happy at the boutique after all. Pia glances around and remarks that she can't seem to find her address book of Hollywood players, then assumes that she must have left it in the car.
Pia sees Gina sitting in the courtyard and smarmily thanks "Gidget" for her help. After she sashays out of the mall, Gina pulls Pia's missing address book out of her purse and smiles evilly to herself.
The Walsh house. Janet tells Steve she's suddenly decided to turn down his proposal 'cause she thinks he's only doing it out of obligation. Steve insists he's no longer wigged out or confused about fatherhood, but she firmly tells him her answer is no.
The Peach Pit. Donna is sitting at the counter, looking bummed 'cause apparently the New York buyers weren't interested in her new men's line. Noah spots her from his table and ambles over to report that he and Cherise broke up, then asks her if she'd like some company. She smiles and says yeah, and the two stare longingly at each other. Ugh.
Casa David. Dylan drops by to tell David that - shock of all shocks - the admissions clerk from CU called to tell him he's been accepted, due to a pesky yet persuasive kid who intervened on his behalf. David reads his essay back to him, and it's a surprising self-reflection of what a thorough dickwad he is, and has always scraped by in life without giving a rat's ass about anything...but is finally out of options. He snarkishly challenges his slouchy frenemy to demonstrate that he's ready to not be such a douchetard anymore and to start acting like a contributing member of society.
Disclaimer: While reading these recaps, you may encounter spoilers of future episodes. If this matters to you in any way, shield yourself from reading this content.
If not, carry on..
Recapper: Isabel K. French
~ If you enjoy these recaps, thank me by buying me a "coffee"!