Recap: Kelly and Donna wash their delicates in Dylan's bathroom, and Donna wonders aloud how Dylan can live without a washing machine in his house. I'd wonder the same thing too. Yeesh. Dylan enters the bathroom to take a shower, and jokes that the three of them should take a shower together. Ew. Donna says she has a perfectly good room at the beach apartment, and then urges Kelly to give David a break and bury the hatchet...and adds that as long as they keep avoiding each other, they'll never work out their problems. Kelly is dismayed that her dimwitted friend still thinks the rift between her and David is just a silly feud, so she explains that she cares about David and just wants him to get better. Donna insists that he is better and believes him when he claims he's no longer a druggie. Kelly tells her she doesn't get it and that she's being a fool. Dylan agrees and tells Donna that David isn't going to get better until he acknowledges he has a drug problem.
Beach house. David tells Mel that Kelly overreacted to his alleged drug use, and insists he's not an addict. Mel tells him he's going to talk to his therapist, scrutinize him carefully for the next few days...and if by next week he's not convinced that he's on the straight and narrow, he's pulling him out of school and putting him into rehab. David asks about the outstanding rent on the beach apartment, and Mel tells him he'll pay it, but he's writing out the check directly to Mr. Pitts. David tells him the rent is $620, and Mel makes a face and says something about the apartment being in the "high rent district", which I found baffling because $620 a month seems ridiculously cheap for a spacious three bedroom apartment directly on the beach in L.A. - even in 1994 dollars. Mel hands him the check, then sternly warns him never to do drugs again...and David fake promises.
The Peach Pit. Over breakfast, Ahn-drea announces to Kelly, Brenda, and Donna that she and Jesse are getting married on Valentine's Day (the following Monday). Brenda snarks that they're not wasting any time, and Ahn-drea explains that they can't afford to hold off their ill-omened wedding any longer. The ceremony will be at City Hall (fancy!) and Kelly makes a face and says she should do something festive to mark the occasion, like throw a party. Ahn-drea grumps that without her parents' blessing, her heart's not really in it. Apparently, Mama and Papa Zuckerman think she's throwing her life away - well, d'yuh - and don't want any part of her nuptials. Ahn-drea's also worried that Grandma Rose isn't going to take the news any better, and says that she and Jesse are visiting her tonight to tell her about their shotgun wedding plans. Donna assures her they're all happy for her, and Ahn-drea says she's glad somebody is.
Nat makes his post heart attack return to the Peach Pit, and the gang greets him and gives him lots of welcoming hugs. He gushes over his slouchy new business partner, and Brandon looks on with a crestfallen expression from across the room. Nat spots him and urges him to come over, and Brandon warmly welcomes him back.
Grandma Rose's apartment. Ahn-drea and Jesse are about to break their marriage plans to Grandma Rose, who's now being played by a different actress than the one who played the mother in My Big Fat Greek Wedding and was in the Down and Out (of District) in Beverly Hills episode. The conversation goes like this:
Ahn-drea: “Jesse's asked me to marry him.”
Grandma Rose: “And what did you say?”
Ahn-drea: “I said yes.”
Grandma Rose: “Of course you did - because you're pregnant.”
Hahahaha! Ahn-drea actually looks shocked that her grandmother noticed her impossible-to-miss pregnancy belly and put two and two together. Rose asks how Mama and Papa Zuckerman are taking the news, and Jesse says they're not thrilled. Ahn-drea tells her that she and Jesse would like her blessing...and so Rose goes off on a weird, wild tangent about the horrors that befell the Zuckermans during the Holocaust, and how people who ignore mistakes of the past are doomed to repeat them. And just when it seems like all hope is lost for a pre-wedding blessing, Rose tells Ahn-drea that in this life you have to take your blessings where you find them and thinks that she and Jesse have found them. OK...whatever, Rose. She kisses Ahn-drea, then offers to throw her a bridal shower, and Ahn-drea gratefully accepts.
Beach house. Donna is peering inside the refrigerator when David arrives home. He asks what she's doing there, then snidely asks if she has Kelly's permission to be there. Donna tells him that she and Kelly are worried about him, and David tells her she can stop worrying because he just had a bad couple of weeks. He's trying his best not to do any more meth, and so far has been managing to keep it together. Donna looks happy to hear that, then tells him she came by the apartment to pick up her dress for the Valentine's Day dance tomorrow night. She invites him to go to the dance with her, and after mulling it over for a few seconds, he agrees. She heads out just as Mr. Pitts drops by to pick up the rent money. David hands him Mel's check and says his father “accidentally” made it out for the wrong amount, and Mr. Pitts digs into his pocket and gives him a $150 refund. Yikes. I thought $620 was stretching the boundaries of plausibility...but $470?? Come on, show.
The Walsh house. Brenda reads aloud to Brandon the bitchy Valentine's Day letter she's writing to Stuart, in which she snarks at him for not keeping his promises, and that she's not for sale (?). I had no idea that Stuart was still in the picture, considering how abruptly he vanished from the show after the Vegas episode - which was ten episodes ago. Brandon suggests that maybe Stuart has been too busy to call (yeah, that's probably it)...and somehow their conversation shifts to the Peach Pit, and how Dylan bought out Joey's share of the diner. Brandon complains that the Peach Pit used to feel like home, but now he just feels like a guest whenever he goes there. He then looks thoughtful and remarks that maybe he needs a new place to hang out...someplace “spicier”. Mmm hmm - like Casa Lucinda, perhaps?
Brandon drops by Lucinda's new place unannounced, which seems to really annoy her. She tells him he should have called first because she's very busy working on the next lesson plan for her ladies' seminar. She then says that anything more than a friendship between them would be too much for her to handle. Brandon reminds her that they doinked the other night, and she tries to be blasé about it...so then he tells her he can't stop thinking about her and challenges her to order him to leave. Naturally, she can't bring herself to do that and initiates a giant smooch session with him instead.
Seminar. Lucinda is lecturing her students about the origins of Valentine's Day. For some reason the class is being held in a very ornate room with large windows, and the girls are curled up on comfy looking sofa chairs. When they start talking about Valentine's Day traditions, Brenda derisively says that her stupid ex-fiance used to be big on giving diamonds...and Kelly points out that they didn't hear her complaining when he slid that big rock on her finger. True enough. Lucinda remarks that romance was never the goal of Valentine's Day, and from this Donna somehow deduces that Lucinda has a one track mind. Kelly argues that Lucinda has principles, but Donna just thinks she's a conniving, man stealing slut.
Dorm. David brings Jack, a fellow druggie, to hang with Andy and his perpetually wasted cronies. David warns Jack that Andy and his friends are into needles, but that they're totally cool with the fact that he doesn't want to get his high by shooting up. Aww - that's nice of the needle users.
The Walsh house. Mama Walsh is studying in the kitchen when Papa Walsh arrives home from work. He asks her if Brenda mailed her bitchy Valentine's letter to Stuart yet, and Mama Walsh shoots him a look of disapproval and says they really should tell her the reason Stuart has been incommunicado for the last few weeks. Papa Walsh disagrees because he wants a little payback for everything Brenda put them through when she and Stuart fake eloped to Vegas. Brenda enters the kitchen to announce to her parents that she just finished her letter to Stuart, and that it has just the right amount of disdain and bitchy innuendos. Papa Walsh urges her to mail it immediately, which amused me, and when Mama Walsh makes a half-hearted attempt to say that Stuart has a good explanation for why he hasn't called, Papa Walsh nicely tells her to shut her pie-hole.
Jesse's apartment. Brandon is over for dinner, eating authentic Mexican food with Jesse and Ahn-drea. They ask him if he'd be willing to give Ahn-drea away during their wedding ceremony, and Brandon looks surprised and says this is probably something her father should do. Ahn-drea puts her sad face on and says it doesn't look like things are going to work out that way, so Brandon quickly says he'd be honored. The couple wants to have a reception at the Peach Pit, and they ask Brandon if he would mind asking Nat for permission. Brandon brusquely says they need to talk to Dylan about booking the diner, but when Ahn-drea and Jesse look disappointed, Brandon agrees to contact Dylan and make all the arrangements.
Beach house. Donna arrives home and finds David at the apartment with Jack. David tells her that Jack will be tagging along with them to the Valentine's Day party, and Donna looks dismayed and reminds him that it's a dance, and therefore supposed to be a romantic evening. Through all this, Jack's standing by the stereo, trying very hard to look drugged out as he plays an imaginary guitar. David chides Donna for being judgmental, and then Jack strolls over and does a very contrived sounding Jeff Spicoli imitation when he asks if either of them has a cigarette.
KEG house. At the Valentine's dance, Steve is in full party mode and greets Kelly, Dylan and Brandon...and remarks how none of them are wearing anything red or with a heart on it. Steve invites Kelly to dance, and playfully calls her a “fun tart”. Brandon tells Dylan that Ahn-drea and Jesse want to have their wedding reception at the Peach Pit, and when Dylan asks him how he thinks Nat will feel about it, Brandon shrugs and snidely retorts, “How should I know? You're his partner” and then stalks off. Donna arrives at the party with David and Jack...and Steve disdainfully asks Kelly who “that growth” attached to David is. Kelly wryly says it's probably one of David's new drug friends. David strolls over and introduces Jack to Steve...and Jack does his Spicoli schtick again when he asks for a cigarette. Steve tells him he doesn't smoke, so Jack ambles outside to get one from his car...and Steve steers David over to where the beer keg is situated. Brandon, meanwhile, grabs a couple of cookies and needlessly explains to Donna and Kelly that he's leaving and taking the cookies with him. This prompts Donna to crinkle her face and ask Kelly if Brandon has a girlfriend they don't know about.
Lucinda's house. Brandon shares his cookies with Lucinda and assures her that he didn't tell anyone where he was going. She looks very relieved because she doesn't want any scandals for either of them. She tells him she put in a grant request for a series of documentary films she's making, and if the money comes through, she'll be able to give up teaching...and then the two of them can doink more openly. Brandon says he's surprised to hear that she's a filmmaker, blah blah...and the two start smooching again.
KEG house. Donna and David are looking cozy on the dance floor, and Kelly wonders aloud to Dylan if she was too rough on David. Two frat brothers forcibly escort Jack out of the KEG house because they caught him snorting [cocaine I assume] in the rec room. David gets mad and tries to stop them, and points out that they've all been drinking...but it doesn't matter, because Jack gets pissed off and storms out. David tells Donna he wants to leave, but she angrily refuses and gets mad because it's finally penetrated her thick skull that he's been lying about his drug use this whole time. She tells him to leave, and he snarks that he'd be happy to, and heads for the door. Dylan runs out after him and asks him if he's just going to leave Donna hanging. He calls him a junkie, and David snaps back that he's a drunk, as well as a sanctimonious pain in the ass. Dylan says he owes him one for the way he talked him off the ledge after his father's funeral and tells David that if he ever needs help to give him a call.
Grandma Rose's apartment. It's Ahn-drea's bridal shower (bore) and Donna is moping in the kitchen. She tells Kelly she's too angry to eat, and that she can say, “I told you so” already. Kelly tells her to stop beating herself up about trusting David, that it's about time she got angry, but to put a pin in it for now 'cause they're at a shower and should at least pretend to look happy. They rejoin the group in the living room just as Ahn-drea starts opening her gifts. Brenda's card contains a lovely message about what love is...but then it goes off the rails when she caps it off with, “But don't go by me - I almost married a jerk who hasn't called me in a month.” The shower guests giggle at Brenda's overt narcissism, then ooh and aah over the gift, which is a slinky negligee. Blech. The doorbell rings, and it's Jesse...and Ahn-drea laughingly tells him the shower is for girls only. Grandma Rose rushes over to the door and discreetly tells him that Ahn-drea's parents are still refusing to give in and attend the wedding. Jesse looks disappointed, but urges her to keep trying.
KEG house. Brandon arrives to play basketball with Steve and finds him hungover on the couch. Steve moans about how he has to get out of "this saloon", and tells Brandon about the frat's latest drinking game: they all watch re-runs of The Hartley House, and every time Samantha says “Chuckie”, everyone takes a drink. Hee! Steve is also unhappy about having to share John Sears's old room with three frat brothers. He says he needs a better place to live (I guess his mother's luxury house is out of the question?), and Brandon tells him he may have a solution.
Dorm. David drops by Andy's room to play a hip-hop CD for him, but Andy's stressed and is hurriedly packing up his stuff. He tells David he has to shut down “the store” because he heard that the entire dorm is about to be busted. He then asks David to hold onto a drug filled backpack for him, and when David's like, "Hell no", Andy accuses him of inadvertently tipping off the police when he brought Jack around...so David takes the backpack. Down the hall, Brandon and Steve arrive to ask Ahn-drea if Steve can stay in her dorm room after she moves in with Jesse, but she's not home so Brandon leaves a note on her whiteboard. At that moment, David rushes past them with his drug filled backpack, and about two seconds after that, police officers storm the building. Brandon and Steve look at each other and are like, "Wuh?" and wonder aloud what's going on.
A group of students gather outside the residence, curiously watching the drug bust. Ahn-drea remarks to Jesse that she's moving out just in time. The police have cuffed Andy and are marching him over to a squad car...and David watches from a safe distance behind a bush.
Dylan's house. Kelly and Dylan are asleep when a hysterical David calls. Dylan tells him not to do anything until he gets there. After he hangs up, he tells Kelly that David's in trouble, and rushes over to the beach house.
Beach house. When Dylan arrives, David is nervously smoking a cigarette and staring at the backpack. He tells Dylan he hasn't been able to bring himself to open the drug filled backpack, that he's totally wigged out, and barely slept last night. Dylan warns him that law enforcement is probably watching the house, and advises him to flush the drugs down the toilet like pronto. David freaks out and says that that would piss off Andy because he hasn't even paid for the junk yet, and Dylan says Andy can kiss his ass. He tells him that Andy will probably crack under questioning and give up his supplier and then finger him. He somehow determines that David has a window of only fifteen minutes to get rid of the stuff, and so it's off to the toilet they go...
David empties all the baggies of white powder and pills down the toilet, and after a lot of very full flushes, there's no way this isn't going to wreak havoc with the plumbing. As they wash their hands, the police pound on the door and yell that they have a search warrant. In his annoying world weary manner, Dylan warns David not to say anything and adds, “Just do what I do.” He slouches over to the door, and the second he opens it a team of police officers storm the apartment and declare that they have reason to believe there are drugs on the premises. The cops read aloud their Miranda Rights, which is nonsensical, because nobody actually ends up getting arrested. David and Dylan remain mute as the cops rip the place apart...and don't find anything.
In the next scene, Donna and Kelly look dismayed at the mess the police made of their apartment. David says he'd be in jail if it weren't for Dylan...and admits what a hot mess he's been lately. He tells them he's determined to get help and stop doing drugs. Donna says admitting that he has a problem is the hardest part, then promises to be there for him...and Kelly does too.
Lucinda's house. As Brandon and Lucinda enjoy a post-coital cuddle, he asks her to be his Valentine. Lucinda tells him she wants him to stay over so they can wake up together in the morning, and Brandon remarks that tomorrow he's giving away a bride. Lucinda wishes Ahn-drea well, and Brandon expresses surprise that she's being so supportive of marriage, blah blah.. He stops talking, mounts her, and the two start going at it again all over again.
City Hall. Ahn-drea and Jesse are called into the courtroom for their scheduled wedding ceremony. Ahn-drea's dressed in a long white shapeless number and looks really pregnant. The gang arrives just in time, and Ahn-drea is thrilled to see them. Just as the judge begins, Ahn-drea's parents (who have never existed prior to this episode) rush in. Mr. Zuckerman suddenly wants to give his daughter away, and explains that he had a change of heart after Jesse called him last night and convinced him to put his dickishness aside and attend their wedding. Brandon jokes about being out of a job, but Jesse assigns him the task of being his best man because he clearly has no friends of his own.
The Peach Pit. Everyone's dancing and enjoying the reception. David thanks Dylan again for helping him flush the drugs down the toilet, and Dylan says they're even now. Um, OK. Across the diner, Brenda bitches to Brandon about how neither of them has a date on Valentine's Day...and at that very moment, Stuart quietly enters the diner carrying a dozen roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates. Everyone but Brenda notices him, so Brandon eggs his sister on, saying what a shame it is that “Stewy” isn't there. Brenda rails about how Stewy is a jerk for not calling her on Valentine's Day or giving her any candy. Brandon looks amused, and Brenda snaps at him to explain why he's laughing. He tells her to turn around, and she's stunned to see Stuart, and springs up from her chair to give him a hug. He explains that he's been in South America (for the past ten episodes?) to submit a bid for a work related project...but admits that he could have called to let her know. Well, d'yuh. He mentions that he talked to Papa Walsh last week about the trip, and Brenda's all, "Wha-at?" but doesn't get too angry with her father...mostly because we're at the end of the episode and don't have time for a Brenda blow-up. Brenda sheepishly tells Stuart that when he gets a letter from her in the mail, he should burn it. Over by the jukebox, Nat wants to take the music up a notch and plays “Hava Nagila”. Grandma Rose gets super excited and urges everyone onto the floor to dance to the traditional Jewish folk song.