Recap: Donna calls David from the ER to let him know that Noah got himself so tanked that he crashed through her living room window and then got beaten up by a baseball bat wielding Matt, who assumed he was an intruder. Donna tells David she's planning to take Noah home with her so she can nurse him back to health, and he tells her it's a horrible idea that's going to send the wrong message. She snappishly retorts that she's merely informing him whassup with Noah 'cause he's his roommate...and that he can shove his well meaning advice 'cause she's going to do whatever the hell she wants. A nurse emerges from the exam room to inform Donna, Matt, and Kelly that Noah will be fine and that he suffered no permanent brain damage from getting his head smashed in. Donna tells Matt and Kelly that she's planning to take Noah back to the beach apartment so she can play nursemaid, and Kelly scrunches her face in disapproval. Donna says she knows she hates Noah, but that she's letting him stay with her 'cause right now he needs a friend, as well as enough air time to stay relevant on the show. Kelly points out that she's never going to be able to move on from Noah if she keeps letting him sleep on her couch, and Donna wearily tells her she already got that lecture from David, and that there's no reason for any of them to worry. Kelly just kind of shrugs and is like, "Yeah OK, whatever."
Beverly Royale Hotel. Kelly drops by as Dylan is sifting through stacks of documents that are strewn around the room. He ushers her over to his laptop and tells her that he and Steve have been poring over the passenger list she scored for him during the previous episode, then points at the name Eddie Waitkus and says he's pretty sure it's Jack's fake name. He tells her he hasn't yet been able to find any contact information on Eddie Waitkus, so Kelly suggests he talk to the flight crew and see if they know anything that might be helpful. Dylan likes the sound of that idea and picks up the phone to call the airline.
Beach house. Donna brings Noah a tray of food, then sits at his bedside and smiles sweetly at him. He tells her he's not hungry - but she urges him to eat, then starts spoon-feeding him. He says he hates that she now has to take care of him, and apologizes for crashing through her window. She tells him that once he's well enough, he's going to have to start up with his AA meetings again...then makes it clear that if he falls off the wagon one more time, he's on his own.
The Walsh house. One of Steve's half-wit half-brothers, Ryan (the one played by Randy Spelling), arrives for a week-long visit and meets Janet and Maddy for the first time. When Janet politely asks him how he likes Amherst College, he grunts, "Fine" but doesn't look at all enthused. Janet tells him that she and Steve have made lots of fun plans for them, e.g. the beach, museums, etc. but Ryan makes it clear that he's only interested in going to bars, over-drinking, and partying. Steve overhears that last part and squeals, "Parrrrrty!" and Janet stares at the two boneheads with open disdain and volunteers to stay home with Maddy while they enjoy their evenings of debauchery.
Matt is on the phone in his office, doing his best to rustle up clients...or a client. He should maybe consider hanging out at a jail, where the newly arrested in need of representation tend to be most heavily concentrated. Kelly laments quitting her PR job after one day and says it feels weird that she suddenly has nowhere to be. Matt says he feels like that too, but that it's extra embarrassing in his case 'cause he's sitting in his office. No duh. He urges Kelly to start up her own PR firm, but she says she's too mentally zapped to think 'bout that right now...then tells him that Dylan believes his father is alive and is going by the name Eddie Waitkus. She tells Matt she agreed to accompany Dylan to LAX later to talk to the flight crew to see if they can figure out where Jack McKay has been in hiding for the past seven years. Matt points out that exposing a man who the world is supposed to believe is dead could be dangerous, but Kelly says that Dylan's life has gone off the rails so badly since Jack's faux death...that his desperate need for the truth outweighs Jack's safety. Matt offers to come along to LAX, since clearly he's got nothing better to do.
Casa David. Donna calls to apologize to David for snapping at him the other night. She tells him she's watching an old horror classic on TV, Slumber Party Massacre...and David thanks her for the tip and tells Camille they have a horror movie to watch. She does not look enthused.
LAX. Dylan, Matt, and Kelly are in a huddle in the airport terminal, deciding on the best strategy to extract information from the flight crew about Eddie Waitkus. Dylan approaches the first class flight attendant and pretends he has a business deal pending with Eddie Waitkus and asks her if there's anything she can tell him about where the guy lives. She tells him she has no contact information for the man - 'cause why in the hell would she? - but moves the plot forward when she quietly reveals on the down-low that she once heard him mention that he lives in Tolleson, a small town just outside Phoenix.
The Walsh house. Steve and Ryan are sacked out on the couch in the living room, and there's leftover junk food and garbage strewn around the room. Janet stares at the mess in dismay, then pokes Steve awake and reminds him that he has a business meeting in an hour. Ryan snarks at her to be quiet, and Janet reacts to his snotitude by grabbing Steve by the ear and pulling him across the room. She tells him to stop showing off in front of Ryan and set a better example of how an adult man should behave. Ryan, meanwhile, has gotten off the couch and is clowning around and making faces at Janet behind her back...and naturally Steve can't keep from giggling at the immature hilarity. He tells Ryan he's going to make them Bloody Marys to soothe their hangovers, and two happily scamper over to the kitchen.
Beach house. Donna arrives home and is pleasantly surprised to see that Noah has cleaned and tidied the entire apartment. She gently chides him for not spending the day resting, and he stares at her longingly, caresses her hair, and says he just wanted to help out. He brings up his captivity during the Final Proof episode and says that his terror of dying a grisly death at the hands of a deranged former child actor was nothing compared to the sad horror of never seeing her again. He leans in and kisses her...and she looks all into it for a few minutes, but then stops him. She reminds him that after they broke up, he was out whoring and drinking - while she, on the other hand, was dealing with the heartbreak...and eventually she got over him. She urges him to do the same now that he's back on the wagon - fingers crossed - and Noah stares sadly into space and agrees with her wise words. He says he's going to call a cab and finish recuperating at Casa David.
Tolleson, AZ. Kelly is in the local cable company office, pretending to be Mrs. Eddie Waitkus. After a few minutes, she emerges from the office and smugly tells Dylan and Matt, "It worked like a charm!" and shows them the billing statement she was able to con the clerk into handing over. The three pile inside their rental car and head over to Casa Waitkus.
Restaurant. David and Camille are out for a romantic dinner. She tells him she feels a little bad about raving on and on to Donna about how perfect her life is, and feels like she stole everything from Donna's world: her store and boyfriend. David clarifies, "Ex boyfriend" but Camille continues to pretend to worry that she may have rubbed it in too much. David tells her she's being too sensitive and that Donna is far too sweet and angelic to ever hold a grudge. Camille makes a face and is like, "Uh, speaking of your over-the-top worship of Donna.." and says she finds it odd that he's such close friends with her, and describes her as a shadow over their budding romance. She says she wouldn't mind having a little distance from Donna, and David applauds her for having the courage to come right out and say something. A few seconds later, David's cell phone rings and, of course, it's Donna calling. Over Camille's fake protests to go ahead and answer it, David declines and hits the ignore button.
Casa Waitkus. Dylan and Kelly are parked across the street in the rental car, and it looks like they've been staking out Jack's house for the last several hours, waiting for him to show himself. Apparently, Matt didn't want to endure the boredom of a stakeout and hung back at the motel. Eventually, a car pulls into the driveway...and Dylan and Kelly look on with anxious anticipation as Jack steps out of the driver's side. The front door of the house opens, and a little boy rushes out and exclaims, "Daddy!" and he's followed by his mother, who greets Jack with a kiss. Dylan glares broodily at the contrived, end-of-day kissy hugging...and when Kelly urges him to go to Jack, he mumbles, "There's no place for me here."
Now Wear This. Donna chides David for not calling her back last night, and he tells her that since he's now dating Camille, she's going to have to cool it with the multiple late night calls. Donna sheepishly says she totally gets it...and a few minutes later, Camille arrives at the boutique with fresh coffee for everyone.
Tolleson, AZ. Dylan tells Kelly that Jack's new life looks a whole lot better than his old one, especially now that he has a young son. Kelly reminds him that Jack has two sons, but Dylan mutters that he's ready to throw in the towel on the caper and fly back to L.A. to resume his aimless life of slouching around a hotel room.
After Dark. Steve, Janet, and Ryan are sitting at a table together...and Ryan is brazenly checking out a hot blonde waitress. As Janet and Steve gabble about the challenges and joys of parenthood, Ryan rolls his eyes and snarks at Steve, "Is this your life now?" then accuses him of being baby-whipped. Janet politely asks the tool how he likes college, and he says the only thing he's interested in at the moment is hittin' it with the hot blonde waitress. After he ambles off in pursuit of an implausible hookup with a woman who looks to be waaaay out of his league, Janet tells Steve that his rude douchewad of a brother is starting to get on her last nerve.
Casa Waitkus. Dylan is staking out Jack's house again, but this time he's doing it solo. Eventually, he gets out of the car, crosses the street, and stares through the living room window at Jack as he relaxes in his easy chair and reads the newspaper. After a few minutes of wistful staring, Dylan turns around and slouches back to the car.
After Dark. David is in the DJ booth, looking very discombobulated. When he sees Donna enter the club, he throws out the topic du jour for listeners to chew on: the rules of relationships with exes and new lovers...discuss. Donna heads over to the bar where Noah is working and asks him how he's doing, and he assures her he's resisting downing any booze. He adds that his over-drinking isn't her problem anymore and is sorry he took advantage of her angelically charitable nature. David sees them talking and makes a beeline over to the bar and asks Donna if everything is OK here, and she tells him it's all good. He invites her to go with him next door to get a bite to eat, and she says she'd like to accept, but doesn't want to overstep his newly laid out boundaries. He's like, "Give me a sec" and whips out his cell phone to make a quick call to Camille, who's sexily lounging in her bed. He tells her he's going to be delayed coming over 'cause he's stopping off at the Peach Pit for a bite to eat, and Camille looks irked as she correctly assumes he's hanging with Donna, and tells him she'll just talk to him tomorrow and abruptly hangs up. Donna asks David if everything is OK, and he's like, "Yep" and ushers her over to the diner.
The Peach Pit. Kelly shows Matt the stack of business cards she just had printed...and it looks like she's taken his advice and started her own PR firm, despite having no real PR credentials or the ability to be non-judgey about stuff she doesn't personally agree with. She proudly tells him she even has a first client: the owner of Now Wear This! When Dylan slouches into the diner to pick up a food order, Kelly rushes over and asks him what happened with Jack in Tolleson. He tells her he stayed on for another day to creepily stare at Jack through his living room window...then decided it would be best to leave him alone 'cause he's a happy man now. Kelly follows him out to the parking lot and argues, "What about you?" and Dylan agrees that the trauma of his father's faux death has made him push people away, not finish anything he starts, and uselessly wander the earth. He declares that Jack is still dead to him, then slouches over to his motorcycle and rides off.
Casa David. David enters the kitchen where Noah is eating breakfast. He calls Noah out on kissing Donna the other day and orders him to give her her space 'cause she's doing her best to move forward in life. Noah snarks at him of all people for lecturing him about not letting Donna move forward...and David denies doing anything to hold her back. Noah accuses him of still being in love with Donna, difficult as that is for any man to resist, then stalks off.
Now Wear This. Camille is busy helping customers when Donna enters the store. She apologizes to Camille for getting in the way of her relationship with David, and explains that they're old friends and that she's used to monopolizing his time without anyone objecting. Camille pretends she's not at all bugged by it, and remarks that she doesn't usually fall so fast and hard for such a total dork. Donna pretends to be thrilled that two such great people found each other, and needlessly gives them her blessing. The two hug...and when Camille heads out for lunch, Donna stares sadly into space.
The Walsh house backyard. Steve irritably tells Janet that Ryan didn't come home last night, and that he's worried 'cause the dumbfuck almost died of alcohol poisoning once. A few seconds later, Ryan saunters into the backyard and smugly informs Steve that he spent the night doinking the hot blonde waitress. Janet says she wishes he would have called, and Ryan derisively refers to her as mom and says he didn't know he was obligated to check in with her. Steve admonishes him for lipping off at his wife and calls him a jerk, then asks how it's possible for him to be keeping up his grades if he's so into partying. Ryan admits it's not...and that he's been slacking off so much that he's currently on academic probation. He sadly recalls what a brain he was in high school and was bound for med school - LOL...say what?! - but is now a college dropout. As he angrily storms into the house, Steve wryly tells Janet they're stopping at one child.
Casa David. David is canoodling with Camille in bed when the classic horror Mummy's Ghost comes on the tube...and over at the beach house, we see that Donna is also watching it. She picks up the phone, but then resists the urge to call David and puts it back down. Over at Casa David, David is staring longingly at his phone.
Beverly Royale Hotel. Dylan is broodily sitting in front of the fireplace, drinking. When he hears a knock on the door, he barks, "Leave it outside!" - but when the knocking persists, he slouches over to the door and answers it. He's stunned to find Jack McKay standing before him and squints in incredulity as Jack says, "Hello son."
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Recapper: Isabel K. French
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