Recap: After getting up early and ambling around the apartment in her bathrobe, Alison climbs back into bed with Billy, kisses him awake, and coos about how much she's missed getting it on with him. Billy reminds her that she was the one who put a pause on all hanky panky until after the wedding, and she's like 'screw that' 'cause she can't wait another second to ride his baloney pony.
Michael and Sydney are blissfully walking along the beach, drinking their morning coffee, when Sydney announces that after tonight's ho soiree, she's getting out of the hooker biz for good...and will, from tomorrow on, be content to be a doctor's wife and devote herself to taking care of her man. [Seems like a grand departure from her previous episode's smugness about out-earning Michael even if he were the Surgeon General, but OK.] Michael says that having a full-time housewife sounds great and gives her a smooch...then glances over at the beach house and sees a woman who looks startlingly like Kimberly ambling along the deck. He mutters, "No, couldn't be" ... and when he glances over at the beach house again, she has predictably disappeared.
Later at the hospital, Michael tells Matt he's starting to see Kimberly everywhere and thinks that maybe his conscience is getting the better of him. Matt's like, "Uh, you don't have one" (LOL) and thinks he's overreacting about the hallucinations and assures him that Kimberly is most probably dead.
Jo is shooting photos of female models playing volleyball on the beach...and we get what seems like a very loooooong montage of scantily clad nubile bodies posing for the camera, which serves as our first glance at the short-lived Melrose Place spin-off, Models Inc. A few seconds later, Amanda storms over and berates Jo for hiring a Models, Inc. model, then bitchily informs her that D&D never uses that agency. When she orders Jo to fire the Models, Inc. model - a bubbly fresh-faced lass named Sarah Owens - a horrified Jo says she can't bring herself to do that, especially considering the 'no Models, Inc. models' policy was never actually communicated to her...so Amanda brusquely summons Sarah over, tells her to change back into her regular clothes and fuck the fuck off for committing the crime of joining the wrong modelling agency.
Alison is on the phone with her dad, who informs her he's gifting her the services of an expensive Beverly Hills wedding planner to help her successfully pull off the grand affair. When Alison tells Billy about her dad's generousness, he makes an ew face and says he thought the wedding was going to be a small, informal gathering of their family and friends...and Alison sheepishly says she has a hard time saying no to her parents and urges him to at least be open to meeting with the wedding planner. She gives him a big smooch, and soon the two are getting it on atop the kitchen counter.
That evening, during a violent thunder storm, Michael is reading in bed when he hears a door open and close. He goes into the kitchen to investigate and is - ack! - aghast to see Kimberly Shaw standing across the room staring at him. She stonily says, "It's nice to see you again, Michael", and a freaked out looking Michael asks her if it's really her standing in his kitchen. She grins and says, "Of course it's me", invites him to touch her, and says that rumors of her death were premature. She explains that while she was in a coma for months, her mother told people she was dead so she wouldn't be tempted to resume their shitty relationship if/when she regained consciousness. Michael moans, "God, how I've missed you", and apologizes for nearly killing her when he got behind the wheel after drinking like a drunken sailor. She tells him to not worry 'bout that [for now, at least], then says she has to go 'cause tomorrow she has a big day at the hospital. She tells him to 'sleep tight', then whirls around and flits through the patio doors in a weird, ghostly fashion.
The following morning, Sydney smooches Michael good morning, and he stares into space, his face scrunched all discombobulated-like. He pushes her away and mumbles about how he needs to get to the hospital asap, then staggers over to the bathroom.
At D&D, Alison asks Amanda if she can book a few personal days to meet with her new wedding planner, and Amanda sighs and points out that she's just now concentrating on her work after her various relationship dramas and should be able to do all of her wedding stuff on the weekends. When Alison insists that she needs more time than that, Amanda allows her to take one day off - just as Bruce Teller storms over and bitchily summons Amanda to the conference room now.
Bruce informs Amanda that he just got a phone call from the CEO of Models, Inc., and that she's majorly pissed at D&D 'cause one of her models was fired for no reason. Amanda admits to firing the model and calls her decision "unfortunate, but necessary" - but Bruce accuses her of demonstrating a cunty pattern of boycotting Models, Inc. whenever she casts for D&D photo shoots, expects her to grovel to the agency's CEO at a meeting later today, and warns that if she ever does anything like this again, she'll be out of a job.
Over at the hospital, Kimberly is settling back into her old job. She tells Michael that the hospital staff keeps looking at her like she's a ghost...and he's like, "Uh, speaking of you being assumed dead.." and breaks the news that, in her absence, he was blackmailed into marrying Sydney. Kimberly breezily tells him she doesn't give a shit, orders him to get rid of the red-haired tart, and gets all in his face as she aggressively declares that she's come back to reclaim what's hers. She then gives him a forcible smooch before grinning maniacally.
Alison and Billy meet at a restaurant with the wedding planner, a woman named Sheila who quickly proves to be a brash, overbearing snoot. She natters about the awesomeness of the restaurant's chef and suggests they book him right now to cook their wedding feast, then rushes off to get menus. Alison dismayingly tells Billy she doesn't like the way Sheila has suddenly taken over the planning of their big day, but Billy points out that the important thing is that they're getting married (or...as it turns out, not).
Michael stops in at the beach house over the lunch hour to inform Sydney that he wants..
A stunned Sydney asks this is a cruel joke, and reminds him that they just agreed she'd spend her every waking moment catering to his needs...then warns that if he dumps her, she can (and will!) do him a great deal of harm. Michael repeats his desire for an immediate divorce and orders her to pack up her shit and get out, and an enraged Sydney threatens to ruin him and decrees that she controls what happens to him. Michael retorts, "Not anymore" as a stupefied Sydney flees the room.
Jane gives Sheila a preview of the wedding gown she's been cobbling together for Alison...and Sheila gushes about the stunning beadwork, but then in private mocks the dress to Alison and Billy, derisively remarking, "That thing is practically eggshell." She says she was only being nice to Jane's face 'cause she has manners [though clearly not enough business savvy to know it's bad form to badmouth a client's friend] and snootily criticizes the dress design for being "very last year". A miffed looking Alison insists that she loooooves the gown - but Sheila rolls her eyes and is all, "Whatever", insists on arranging for Billy - who she keeps referring to as William - to get fitted for an Armani suit, then rushes off to her next appointment.
Amanda is summoned into the D&D conference room to forcibly grovel to the Models, Inc. CEO, aka Linda Gray of Dallas fame! Bruce introduces Amanda to Linda Gray, and Amanda reacts by coolly saying, "Hello, mother."
After the meeting, Amanda and Linda Gray exit the D&D building together. Linda Gray tells her daughter she handled her humiliation well, and expresses surprise that she knew she's been the Models, Inc. CEO for the last several years. She tells her how sorry she is about the unknown whereabouts of her father, aka a criminal fucktard who always chased the quick buck...and Amanda quickly chastises her for criticizing him and reminds her of her own douchebaggery in walking out on her family and causing permanent emotional damage. Linda Gray acknowledges that she can never make up for what she did and says there are details surrounding her departure she doesn't know - but Amanda snappishly says she doesn't care 'cause she doesn't want a relationship with her, then storms off.
Sydney has summoned the authorities to the hospital to accuse Michael of killing Kimberly Shaw via vehicular homicide...and also drags Matt into it by reporting that he changed Michael's blood alcohol level in the hospital's online patient records. When the detective asks Matt if he has this kind of access to patient records, he mumbles, "I don't think so..?" - LOL - and Sydney exasperatedly reminds him that he signed a confession that indicates otherwise. A few seconds later, Dr. Kimberly Shaw enters the room and asks if someone paged her. As Sydney stares at her in stunned disbelief, Michael tells the detective how crazy Sydney is to accuse him of vehicular homicide when the "dead" woman is clearly alive and well...and Sydney gets more and more spacey looking until she faints and collapses in Matt's arms.
Linda Gray drops by Amanda's apartment and encounters Jake, who tells her that Amanda's not home at the moment. She introduces herself as Amanda's mother and says they're currently doing some business together...and correctly assumes that her daughter filled him in on the shitty way in which she abandoned her family. Jake invites her inside and introduces himself as Amanda's trophy boyfriend...and Linda Gray wanders around the living room and tearfully expresses how proud she is of her daughter for creating such a wonderful life for herself: career, nice apartment, smoke-show of a boyfriend. She laments not being able to tell Amanda how sorry she is, and that she has to sadly accept Amanda's determination to hate her forever. Jake gives her a comforting hug and offers to talk to Amanda in an effort to convince her to smooth things over.
Michael and Kimberly are having dinner in a fancy marina restaurant, and he's gleefully recalling Sydney's catatonic reaction to seeing her return from the dead. As he downs a glass of liquor and orders another, Kimberly gives him a 'are you shittin' me?' look and stops the waiter from bringing over anymore alcohol, and instead asks for menus. She then tells Michael she forgives him for almost getting her killed by driving like a drunken lunatic, and that she was sad throughout her recuperation 'cause she thought he had abandoned her. She then presses her hand against her head, says she has frequent headaches now, and takes a painkiller.
Amanda rails at Jake for allowing her mother inside her apartment and tells him it's not his business to try to repair their relationship. Jake points out that he couldn't very well slam the door in her mother's face, and Amanda's like, "Why not?" and admonishes him for not respecting how much she fuckin' loathes the woman. Jake tells her that his mom is a hopeless drunk and that he has no idea where his father is...but that he'd like to see him again one day so he can try to understand the man who helped make him. He solemnly tells Amanda that she can't run away from her mother forever...and Amanda somehow represses the urge to retort, "Can too!"
Sydney slinks back to Melrose Place and knocks on Jane's door. She tearfully tells her sister that since Kimberly is - surprise! - not dead after all, Michael has kicked her out of his beach house and wants a divorce asap. Jane digests those fascinating nuggets for a few seconds, then points out that blackmail is probably not the strongest foundation for a lasting relationship. Fair point. Sydney starts sobbing and asks if she can stay with her 'cause she's about to have a nervous breakdown, and Jane snarkishly tells her to have it someplace else, and then slams the door in her face.
Sarah Owens bounds onto the set of the D&D beach photoshoot, hugs Jo, and tells her she's sooooo happy to be back. As she sits in the makeup chair, Jo notices bruises on her neck and asks her whassup with that, and Sarah fibs about how she fell on some stairs...then breezily assures Jo that a layer of makeup will adequately conceal the not-so-secret domestic violence situation she's currently entangled in.
Jane storms over to Alison's and Billy's apartment, angry about being fired as the wedding gown dressmaker. When Alison's all, "Wha-a-at are you talking about?", Jane explains that Sheila just called her and said she has no use for the gown she's been working on. Alison says she has no knowledge about any of this and assures Jane that she's definitely wearing her gown...and a few seconds later, Sheila arrives and is promptly fired by Billy. Sheila snarkishly tells Alison she's billing her father for all services rendered thus far (which doesn't seem like a whole lot), then flounces out...and it remains unclear how such an insolent twit could possibly remain in business as a wedding planner.
Amanda has softened since her earlier conversation with Jake and has agreed to a double-date dinner out with Linda Gray and her boy toy, Chas. Linda Gray waxes on about how much she'd loooove to repair the mother-daughter relationship...and while she's doing that, Chas is rubbing his foot on Amanda's leg under the table and warning her that he knows a lot of people in the biz and can make life difficult for her if she doesn't get more amenable to a reconciliation with her mother. Jake snarls at him to stop making threats to his girlfriend, and Amanda tells her mom she'll do her best to no longer hate her with the intensity of a thousand suns - as long as she keeps a leash on her idiot boyfriend. Linda Gray smiles gratefully and promises to, from this moment forward, put a muzzle on Chas's sassy mouth.
Alison and Billy stroll the Melrose courtyard and agree that it's the perfect venue for a simple, cheap wedding. The two run into Sydney, who sourly tells them she's living in this shitty complex again and that she's getting a divorce...like they will someday. As she huffily ambles off, Alison and Billy exchange a 'the fuck is her problem?' glance and chuckle in amusement.
Over at the beach house, Michael and Kimberly are vigorously going at it in the bedroom...and after the exhausting looking romp, Kimberly excuses herself to use the bathroom. She presses her hand against her head before taking more painkillers...then all of a sudden looks 100x more feeble and pasty-faced than she did a minute ago. She grimly stares at her sickly self in the mirror and removes her "wig" to reveal a sparse red hairdo and nasty scars on either side of her skull. Ack!
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1/7/2022 12:35:26 pm
I’ll never understand why TV producers think that viewers would be interested in the lives of models. They look pretty, stand in front of a camera, and subsist on diet soda, cigarettes, and Kleenex.
1/7/2022 08:11:16 pm
Oh my God, that spin-off was terrible! And this set-up for it was just as horrible (despite being the subplot to one of the most memorable Melrose episode of the series). The Models Inc plots here have nothing to do with the rest of that short-run show and the insufferable Chas comes across like a washed-up porn star.
1/9/2022 11:27:47 am
I was in high school when this episode aired and the next day at school all anyone could talk about was the ending with Kimberly taking off the wig lol.
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MELROSE PLACE HOMEPAGE
Recapper: Isabel K. French
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